20 Questions Tuesday: 172 - Greg Behrendt

It is my great pleasure to be able to ask 20 questions to one of my favorite comedians, Greg Behrendt.  He is known for a bunch of various reasons, some of which you may actually know… right now he is the co-host of the podcast Walking the Room and the spin off subsequent comedic shows known as the Starfish Circus… that tend to happen in LA, but not in Columbus, Ohio…. which makes me a bit jealous of the denizens of LA. (technically it is L.A. and not LA, they aren’t doing these shows in Louisiana for God’s sakes!).
 
Anyhoo… there is no reason not to start the questions… so here he is, Greg Behrendt, upon you like a griffen, gryphon, griff… whatever.  onto the questions!

My wife loooves baby-name books.  Due to this love of all things baby-naming, it was subsequently very difficult to come up with baby names that were acceptable to all parties involved in the actual naming of the kids.  It was a long drawn out process involving lists, playground taunts, and limited veto powers.  We came up with 2 names that we really dig, but it was a bit of a chore to do that.  Your kids’ names are fairly unique, yet still accessibly and easily understood.  So the question is… Question 1: How did you and your wife arrive on your kids names?  What was the process?

My wife and I like music, and my wife and I like books. And our last names suck. So our thinking was lets come up with self contained first and middle names so they could drop their last name if they wanted and still be themselves. And we thought if they sounded like characters from a novel or members of a great band and if those names could have aspirational value we’d be home. So your get Bella True 9 and Mighty Luna 6. And to be fair my wife was the driving force behind the names. Otherwise they would have been called Camerosmith, and Brian Setzer Girl.

That is really well thought out and articulate.  Many people we have met just look through a list of names they like and pick.  Though, I have to say that I am a bit surprised at how saddened I am that you did not name them Camerosmith and Brian Setzer Girl.  In the end we went with names meaning God’s Gracious Gift and Bright Shining One (Zane 8 and Eily 3 for those scoring at home for bloggy purposes I have referred to them as Little Man and Q… you share and I share, I am equitable like that… For the record, Eily loves listening to “True and Mighty” but not quite as much as she enjoys “Short Pants for Fatty”)

Question 2: You design pants, play in a band, make a podcast, do stand-up, and write…. what do you do in your free time to relax and unwind, or can you relax and unwind?

None of those thing with the exception of stand-up really make me any money so they are what I do to relax. I love to work on a project. I love working w people.  Doesn’t matter what it is band, writers room.  I also hang with my wife and girls a lot. In pajamas at 6pm on a Friday eating pizza and watching a movie is my idea of fuckin’ heaven.

It is amazing how having a family and being committed to said family will change your Friday evening priorities.  Your Friday night sounds rather heavenly.

So, I am trying to avoid the hack questions because there are many great interviews out there that you have done.  Within the last year you have guested on a number of podcasts, as well as hosting your own, other than Walking the Room, Question 3: Which podcast you have guested on have you enjoyed the most?

Never Not Funny hands down. It’s the podcast that revived my comedy career. It’s host is truly one of my favorite comics and people of all time. And Jimmy’s support of WTR has definitely helped us build a fan base. And then those fans realize they’re good people and go back to just listening to NNF!

Jimmy is quite possibly one of the funniest humans alive and NNF was my gateway drug to many a comedy podcast.  Truly, I listen to an insane amount of comedy podcasts.  In this drudgery of the day job I watch many a progress bar slowly creep across the screen… lots of free time on the hands, I say… lots of free time.  This was one of the reasons I asked your about free time…. I have lots of job free time. Did I mention my freetime? Question 4: So, I know that my contact with you is something that would not have happened even 5 years ago.  How has social media altered how you have to deal with people who are not in the entertainment industry?

Did you get my answer to three!

I believe that might be the most accurate and concise answer to Question 4.  I thought you were making a statement about your comedy career  ”revival” and how the NNF ep and new/social media was how you jump started that process

I would like to add. I’m not a cynic when it comes to social media. I like that I’ve not only made fans but friends out of it! And a few sold business partners!

So, Question 5, without a smarmy segue, it is safe to say that you might have a sweet tooth, all things being equal, what is your go to confection? (mine is Vanilla Bean Cheesecake… I have very little will power against it, I have eaten a half of the whole cake in one evening before… It wasn’t pretty, but it was pretty impressive, I think my wife started fearing me at that time)

I’m still pretty high on the chocolate caramel Tim Tam. I’m sure I’d marry it if I could. But last year I attended a wedding where they had double chocolate cake with salted caramel filling and I’d kill you for another piece.

I’m listening, I am hip to that jive…. That sounds lovely, almost like a turtle sundae but with cake.  Knowing what is good for me, I have been able to avoid the Tim Tams so far (pretty sure that would be a soon to be empty package), but a wedding cake?  Yeah, that’s perfectly acceptable in modern society.

Question 6: You are very introspective, and very knowledgeable about yourself.  You seem (nothing implied here, I haven’t ever met you for reals and such) to be pretty intelligent and well-read.  That being said, you are also a performer who goes in front of people to make them laugh.  Would you consider yourself an introvert (quiet time with the fam and singular solo efforts) or an extrovert (gregarious [pun not intentional] and seeking to entertain others)?  Which really gets your batteries recharged?  Do you need the quiet time to be able to perform, or does the performance give you the energy to spend time with yourself?

Great question. I’m not overly gregarious… I think before I got sober and before I had any success I may have been a bit  overbearing needy and self seeking, but sobriety gave me the ability deal with it, and that in turn gave me all the things I have and I only got those things by being patient and being quiet. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments but at least I recognize them and  try and auto correct.  I need quiet to perform but the chaos of everyday life to write.

Speaking of the sobriety, one thing that I have learned by listening to 40+ hrs a week of podcasts is that there is a shit-ton of substance abuse within the comedy scene. Question 7: I am seriously curious about this, in your expert opinion, are the substance abuse issues inherent to the business or is it brought by the baggage the comedians are carrying with them?

I am not an expert on the topic but substance abuse problems are just people problems. Insurance adjusters are just as likely to suffer from the terrible self loathing that often leads to alcohol abuse as artists. Comics are not special or or entitled to more bad behavior than anyone else. We just happen to have forums to discuss our travails publicly. We may however be funnier drunks than the rest of the lot. Then again maybe not :)

Fair enough… I have not noticed illicit substance abuse at my jobs, however there have been some serious alcoholics and probably some prescription stuff that went un-noticed by me.  I guess due to my lack of popularity and my general disdain for people (one is a consequence of the other, but it is kind of chicken egg all up in that), I also have not been invited to the “partays” where serious (or frivolous) drug usage occurs.

Onto a completely different line of question.  You may know this about me, but I am a cartographer.  I love maps and I love the idea of places.  I was born in Okalhoma City, OK, moved to Montgomery, AL for a short while, grew up just to the northeast of Birmingham, AL, went to college in Kent, OH, and settled down in Columbus, OH. Question 8:  What is your geographic story?

West coast! Born in San Francisco in 63 moved to Marin County in 73 went to the University of Oregon 81 back to San Francisco 86 moved to Los Angeles 94 and that’s my story. West coat baby. My wife’s family lives in Hawaii and I’ve spent a lot of time there. For my money the best place on earth!

I have heard that Hawaii is tres tres spensive, due to how far from mainland anything it is.  The cost of living there has to be through the roof. Crap, my Midwest sensibilities just buzzkill everything.

So, I heard something odd the other day on one of the podcasts I frequently numb my existence to when I am at job 1.  This person was saying that men’s cargo shorts were the equivalent to women’s sweatpants with writing on the ass… appropriate for the young and hip, but passe and gauche for established adult males.  Since you are the closest thing to a male and masculine (emphasis on masculine) fashionista I know of Question 9: Are cargo shorts gauche for men late 30’s and up? and if so, what is their in kind replacement?  I love my cargo shorts…. save me!

I’m not a big fan of letting anyone decide how I’m gonna dress myself. Make your own rules. If you feel good in it it’s right . Period. Find the things that make you feel like the guy you came here to be. Taste makers and arbiters of style are just people that don’t want to get real jobs. A man isn’t a man until he owns his taste! So cargo the fuck out of it!

That is a fashion philosophy I can live with.  

Firstly, I have to thank you for hanging in there with me.  This has taken up waaay more of your time than you most likely expected.  Question 10:  Can you believe we are only half way done with this?  I need to ask more yes/no questions

I’m into it. I like it. BRING IT!

Consider me bringing it.  It has been broughtened. Question 11: You have a very strong amount of energy in your sets and in your podcast.  Do you ever shut it down, or do you bring that same amount of frenetic energy to PTA meetings, going to the grocery store, getting new shoes, etc… ?

I can be an excitable but I really only need that energy to create, not to live. I’d be more unbearable than I already am. My wife tells me I’m loud though.

I tend to be rather laid back and even keeled, so I always enjoy watching people with energy do their thang.  Yours is some frenetic energy that I could watch everyday.  

Question 12:  So you played rugby in college, and the Rugby World Cup is going on right now.  As of this time Wales, France, Australia, and New Zealand are still in the mix… are you still interested in rugby, and if so, who you got for winning the WC?
I left it on the field in college. I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to be an athlete and meeting with very little success until I joined the rugby club senior year of high school. We went on to win the Nation Championships in ‘81 and it was the highlight if my sporting life. I tried to stick with it in college but the allure finally wore off. I broke my hand on a guys forehead sophomore year, quit, and went directly to the theatre dept. and never looked back.

Well, rugby ain’t my game, but looking at the stats really quickly, my money (if I had any) would be on the New Zealand All Blacks (Editor’s note: New Zealand won Vs France with a score of 8 to 7).  They seem to have destroyed almost every other team so far.  I played soccer as a kid and in high school and enjoyed non-varsity level fencing in college, which leads me to a question that I have asked others…

Question 13: Prior to games in high school, I had to put on my socks and shin guards on a very particular sequence and at fencing tournaments, I needed to follow a pretty strict sequence of stretching and exercise.  Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain set of actions you have to do prior to taking the stage, a song you have to listen to prior to exercise, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

No hats on the bed! I wear hats. I also love the movie Drugstore Cowboy. No hats on the bed. Bad luck. I’m not very superstitious but I do not put or allow hat’s on the bed.

How wonderfully random and particular.  It is interesting that there are 2 potential origins to that superstition.  The first is that often crowns were placed on the funeral biers of rulers and the equivalent was a hat on the bed, and thus signified a death. The second is that Italian priests with their funky hats would never take off their hats unless they were at bedside and putting on their priestly vestments to give last rites. They would place their hat on the bed and then eventually that person would die (for those unfamiliar with that particular superstition, I have my brown belt in Google Fu)..

Question 14:  So, I have a 3 yr old little girl so I am sure that I will be doing some super girly girl things in my future.  Currently, she has not gone completely girly girl (even though she does like brushing my hair sometimes).  Since you have 2 girls, what is the girly girl thing that you found yourself doing, and thought, “I Never would have thought I would be doing this?”

I never really thought about it. That’s telling:)  However I refuse to play dolls. Not because it’s girly but because it’s flat out painfully dull. Can’t do it. But we’re at card games, bike rides, Wii, and I love all the painting and drawing stuff. I have two of their drawings as tattoos. To be fair I relish every freaking second with them. I can’t get enough.

Ha!  For full disclosure, I am not saying I won’t do girly girl stuff, just that I will notice doing the girly girl stuff.  I too have made it to the store with a barrette in my hair.  Yeah, I think playing dolls will be the death of me, but luckily she is into her older brother’s interest right now.  She is going as Jango Fett for Halloween.  It is going to be awesome.

Question 15: So, for Halloween, are you taking the kids around the neighborhood as the Silver Surfer or are you getting a Galactus costume together and making your kids into the heralds? (if it is the former, no pics please, if the latter, tons of pics please)

I’m not really a costume guy anymore. I let the girls have the fun and I do the door. Last year I went clown from the neck down. This year I’m gonna be a convict. I love how into it they get. It’s their night :)

I was really hoping that you were the Galactus to their heralds, but it is understandable to not upstage the kids.

Well we are nearing the end of the 20 questions, so, Question 16: Are there any questions that I didn’t ask you that I should have?

I let you know when we’re done :)

Good enough.  I have been dogging you for questions for a good long while now, so Question 17: In the course of all these questions, is there anything you would like to ask me?

People who love podcasts seem incredibly dedicated not only to the show but to their hosts as well. Why do you think that is?

That is a good question.  I think it boils down to two main factors.  The first factor is that podcasts are completely by choice. The choice of the creator to   The creator of the podcast is trying to get SOMETHING out, whatever that may be.  The podcast almost always seem to be a true extension of the creator/s.  In many ways it allows people to see the behind the scenes persona and sometimes the vulnerabilities of the creator.  That level of vulnerability seems to bond the viewer to the creator.

The second factor is that the method of ingesting the podcast.  Listeners typically listen to podcasts on their own.  That makes the podcast a very intimate experience for the listener.  It ends up being like the listener is a silent participant in a candid conversation.  I think that is why WTF, Never Not Funny, Walking the Room, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Nerdist, TOFOP, etc… tend to create rabid fans of the podcast and the artists on the podcasts.

So the combination of the creators creating and people searching out for those creations, and then the intimacy engendered by the medium create the rabidity of the fanbase.

So Question 18, (I will turn the tables on you) does the fanatical fanbase alter your creative process for the podcast, because you are concerned about losing their listenership?

The fan base of this particular endeavor only makes it possible for me to take bigger risks and get better. We never promised anyone anything so therefore we can do what we want. Certainly  we care about the quality but if the show succeeds it does because we’ve achieved our goal of pleasing ourselves.  When you take a deal at a network there is an understanding that you are trying to make a hit show that will run forever and make everyone a big chunk of change. And that is a really hard way to create anything. You ultimately aren’t doing it for yourself you are creating for others which is impossible. If I make Dave laugh I’m almost certain you will laugh. Or hang yourself.

So, this is a question I have had on my mind since I started asking you questions.

Question 19: How close to your day to day interactions with Dave are the Walking the Room podcasts?  I assume they are just polarized versions of your friendship where you both consciously exaggerate your typical behaviors to create teh comedies, but it would be delicious if that was just your everyday conversation with Dave.

Dave and I have such a long and kinda complicated relationship. There was an almost 3 year period during our 22 years of knowing each other where we did not speak but I would say still thought the other one was hilarious. The cuddle is only slightly exaggerated. His insults make me laugh because they are accurate and the flip side of a compliment. He is oddly the easiest person I’ve ever worked with in comedy.  Super open to ideas, always laughs, ok with failure. and easily the funniest guy I know.

At the risk of sounding sentimental and a little bit maudlin, your relationship with Dave really is a beautiful thing.  When you look past the surficial taunts and faux disgust, it really is a wonderful interaction to watch, and I think that is why people continue to listen to your particular podcast.  The content is funny, there is no denying some of the golden phrases that have happened during the podcasts, but it is the interaction and genuine care for each other that brings people back.  Your friendship is clearly the backbone of the podcast, and that shows through.

So, the last question in this 20 Questions Tuesday (other than you revisiting Question 16 concerning questions I SHOULD have asked)

Question 20: Is there anything that surprised you in these 20 questions and answers? What can you take away from this that you did not have before this interview?

I guess if I had a question I wanted you to ask me it would be this. “Given that you rant so much about your career how do you feel about what you’ve accomplished so far?” And I would say that after reading my answers to the questions so far is that “I have it pretty damn good.”

Yes there have been peaks and valleys but because your questions were so good I was able to see that I’ve had a great run. Have there been disappointments?  Sure, the fate of Greg Behrendt Show, certain haircuts! But there have been more surprises and triumphs like Letterman, 3 Comedy Central specials, and one HBO Special, He’s Just Not That Into You, Walking The Room, The Reigning Monarchs, and I feel like there is a lot left to do.

I’d love to make some kind of bigger impact in comedy whether it be just podcasting, the Starfish Circus, making something with Dave or my wife. I’d also like to make the single greatest surf and ska album of the new millennium and make and sell custom cardigans and tux pants! This has been a blast. I will miss your e mails.

Okay, I am not sure you could possibly know how much it means to me that this odd set of questions had any kind of self actualization to it.  I am humbled by that and in awe of your willingness to answer these questions so thoroughly and candidly.  You are a rock star and a wonderful soul.  I feel truly privileged to have had this level of interaction with you.  This has been a great great interview.

To recap:
Sweet good god damn this was an excellent interview
Seriously, wow
Wifey is back in town
She is at a local version of a book launch today
Today, is of course Oct 25, 2011 (for those of you reading not on the release day)
Walk Out Walk On, page 188, bitches!
That also means I have been at this job for a full year
And I am no longer on probation
So, there is a bit of a sigh of relief here
I am now more difficult to fire from the job I don’t like
And I will be the only person in the office tomorrow
Week 11 of 13 for contract job 2
Would love to interview anyone out there
Let me know if you want to do 20 Questions Tuesday
More interviews on the way
Have a great week folks

20 Questions Tuesday: 171 - Chris Burnham

It is Tuesday again and time to post this bad boy… today I am posting to both the blogspot site and the new and shiny tumblr site… it is shiny… so so shiny. Get ready folks, I am porting over to tumblr…

I belong to a comic book artists forum called Ten Ton Studios. If you go through my archives you might see some of the work that I have posted there. Anyhooo…. one of the “officers” over there is a fellow by the name of Chris Burnham. He is one of the most detailed pencillers I have ever seen. His lines are chock full of potential energy that you can almost see them vibrate off the page. He is technically precise, while allowing himself to be almost whimsical with some of his shapes.

I asked him if he had any books to plug and he suggested (his words, not mine) “Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition - an oversized hardcover edition of last year’s sold out critical smash, complete with all new art & backup features” as well as Batman, Inc.: Leviathan Strikes #1. Both of these books are slotted to come out in December of 2011. Officer Downe on December 7th (hmmm 70 years ofter the attack on Pearl Harbor? Coincidence? I think not) and Batman, Inc coming out later that month.

Enough of the jibber jabber! On to the questions:

So when I was in high school, I was quite un-abashedly a comic book geek and a nerdy nerd from Old Nerdtowne… Question 1: How would you have classified yourself in High School and looking back, how would you classify your high school self now?

High school… I’d say that I was an upwardly mobile nerd. I had a pretty solid squadron of fellow nerdy types but I mixed pretty well with everyone else. I went to a really small private school - my graduating class was something like 54 people - so everyone got to know everyone else pretty well. Which has its pluses and minuses… Sidebar: in 7th 8th and 9th grade I was a SUPER dweeb and a real late bloomer (I’m 6’3” now, but at the beginning of freshman year I was shorter than my mom, who is 5’4”), and I feel like that nerdy rep followed me through the last three years of high school. Or perhaps it was all in my head and I was the only one who thought I was still a nerdy little twerp. Heh… my junior year I went away to Spain for the fall semester, and became a pretty popular dude with a really attractive girlfriend. (Hi, Leah!) That school was really eclectic and weird… the popular kids were all writers & musicians rather than lacrosse players, so I think I fit in a little better there and it gave me a new chance to figure out how a new group of people would perceive me. ANYHOW, when I came back to Pittsburgh I have a very specific memory of a couple of girls I’d gone to school with for the last four years giving me a "Whoa, look at Chris Burnham all grown up" look… but then I immediately launched into a discussion about the markets in Spain selling bull testicles and skinned rabbits, and they snapped right back to “What the fuck is wrong with that dude?” Haha. Bitches.

Looking back, I definitely could have dated a lot more girls… I think the key is actually talking to them rather than creepily leering at them from across the lunchroom. Who knew? But then again, if I were a swinging dick stud in high school, maybe I would have knocked up my girlfriend and had to work in the plant to feed my family and never been able to follow my dreams & draw comics for a living. And I’ve got a great lady, to boot (Hi, Erin!), so I guess it’s worked out pretty well.

I see that you have answered questions like this before. This 20 Questions should go really well… So Question 2: So people’s art evolves over time, it is part of the artistic process. Art should grow and change, sometimes gradually and sometimes radically. For me, one of my earliest shifts occured when Walt Simonson took over X-Factor way back in the day. The angularity of his lines and the chunky spot blacks that he uses to denote soft rounded objects was incredible. Can you think back to anytime when your work has had one of these radical alterations, and if so, what do you think was the catalyst for that evolution?

I can think of two big style shifts. When I was first trying to break in around ten years ago I was trying out a bunch of different styles… from a Jim Starlin / John Buscema sort of thing to trying to be John Totleben to Katsuhiro Otomo, without much success. Granted, I was doing a terrible job of marketing myself… if I would have put my stuff on Penciljack at that point I’m sure my career would have taken a drastically different turn. Anyhow, when I moved here to Chicago I started developing this character, Valentine, with my roommate Nathan Allen. He was a pulpy spy-smasher sort of character and I thought that trying to do an open linework David Lloyd sort of thing would be perfect. I tried the style on one little sketch, saw that it worked, and jumped right into inking the story! We printed up 1,000 copies of this 14-page ashcan and gave them to everyone. I started getting work based on that, and for the next few years I worked pretty exclusively in a David Lloyd/Milton Caniff/Jean Paul Leon sort of style. Heavy black brushwork, not much detail.

A few years later I read an article about Richard Starkings starting up Elephantmen. I’d given him the Valentine ashcan, he really liked it, and we’d kept in occasional email contact. So out of the blue I emailed him to ask if I could do an Elephantmen backup. He agreed, and as I was flipping through Ladronn’s Hip Flask artwork to look for reference and inspiration I became taken with the idea of applying some Milton Caniffish shadows to Ladronnish linework. It worked pretty well and my career took off with Elephantmen leading to Nixon’s Pals to Fear Agent to X-Men to Marvel Mystery… And it’s been a much more subtle growth since then… adding in some Darrow for Officer Downe and then mixing in some Quitely for Batman.

That was some significant sequential art name dropping going on there. Truth be told, I am going to need to spend a good day just looking for these references. Clearly some of them I know off the top of my head, but others are a bit more obscure. Question 3: How would you describe your style to someone who is not versed in the nuances of sequential art and its artists?

Oh, jeez… hopefully it comes across as detailed art with dynamic compositions and clear storytelling. I dunno! I certainly draw the shit out of backgrounds and people getting killed in horrible ways.

Boy! Howdy! You do know how to off some people in bizarre ways… always well-done, but Bi-Zarre. Question 4: Your work seems to be almost made for Bat-stories, is there a character or book out there that you dream of regularly drawing?

I’d love to try my hand at the New Gods, who seem to be alive and kicking again. I wouldn’t want to draw Kalibak or Desaad, tho… Kirby killed those guys himself and I think they should stay dead.

I dunno, maybe do Challengers of the Unknown as kindof a Tom Strong or Planetary sort of thing? Or the Fantastic Four? Or adapt Thor’s Journey to Utgard somehow?

So, you have a near encyclopedic knowledge of all things sequential art and/or comic book-ish. This means, that you must pretty much eat, drink, sleep, and breathe comic books. Which leads to my Question 5: when you are not drawing/reading/signing/etc… comic books, what do you do? Your vocation is my hobby, so what are your hobbies, what does a Chris Burnham do during his down time? (was that Inside the Actors’ Studio enough of a question?)

Hob…bies?

Heh. I suppose I don’t really have one at the moment. Yikes! I listen to a lot of forensic shows… I’ve seen/listened to just about every episode of Unsolved Mysteries, Cold Case Files, Forensic Files, Disappeared, Dateline, 48 Hours, The First 48, Crime 360, all that shit. Disappeared is the best show of its kind ever. Discovery ID. Live it!

Kids, if you’re ever arrested for anything, shut up and get a lawyer! The cops ain’t got shit on you!

(Also, don’t commit any crimes)

Question 6: Do you see any of your love for forensic procedural shows creeping into your books or, worse yet, your daily life? For example, Wow, Honey, if I were mad at you, this ditch would be a perfect place to hide your blood drained body. I could dump a 50 pound bag of lye on it and the remains would be nigh unrecognizable… Please pass the salt.

Hmm… The more of these shows I watch, the more I’m convinced that the only way to get away with murder is to kill a random stranger… and where would be the fun in that? Err… what I mean to say is killing is wrong, kids!

I CAN recall one night after I’d gone on a serious forensic binge, and I could not sleep… my brain was stuck on murder mode and I seriously could not think of anything for more than 5 seconds before my brain spun it around to murder or prison. It was absolutely terrible.

Question 7: Do you think that the abundance of these forensic dramas is ruining actual prosecution’s cases because the level of technology in actual crime labs is no where near the fake level of technology shown in the shows? Do you think that juries are looking for more definitive evidence that is only available in TV shows?

Um, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m watching. Forensic Files, Dateline, 48 Hours, etc are all documentary shows - actual crimes, interviews with the victims, police, reporters etc… I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen an episode of CSI.

I don’t really have an educated opinion on the so-called CSI effect. I’ve never been on a jury and I don’t have any evidence on whether or not it actually exists. Sounds plausible, I guess, but if a prosecutor isn’t able to convince a jury that the defendant belongs behind bars, then he hasn’t done his job properly, right? Reasonable doubt and all that. I do know that eyewitness testimony is horseshit and people give false confessions all the time… I think juries should be far more skeptical of that kind of evidence than they are.

Oh, man, how about that Cameron Todd Willingham case? I’ve seen his story on three or four of my shows and every time it gets my blood boiling. Really seems like Texas executed an innocent man. State-sanctioned murder, if you ask me.

No, I got that you were looking at the real deal, I was curious, since I imagined you have seen some of the procedural forensic dramas, if you thought that the fantasy versus the reality could be tainting a jury’s conclusion of “reasonable doubts.” I think the more documentarian shows that one finds on A&E, the Science Channel, Discovery, etc… show more realism than the dramas. I think it would be really interesting to see a drama that dealt with reality in a crime drama. That being said, I am not sure I would want to watch a lab tech titrate some chemical to get a precipitate to put into a mass spectrometer… Maybe the dramas have it right for the entertainment value.

There are too many death penalty cases where post execution, the person was exonerated by newer techniques and new details. It really is state-sanctioned murder. seriously states, you are better than that, don’t stoop to their level.

So, I was good in chemistry in high school, but I hated it as a subject. seriously, I was a badass at stoichiometry, but I hated the shit. Question 8: Any school topics, high school or college, that you were good at, but could not stand?

Hmm…. I’m fairly certain that while many people on death row have been freed, I don’t think anyone who has actually been executed has been legally exonerated after the fact. Independent examinations point to a lot of innocent people being executed, but I don’t think any courts have come out to put a legal stamp on approval on those investigations.

This might sounds douchey, but I was really good at school (Summa Cum Laude, motherfucker!) and didn’t really like much of it. I guess I liked math all the way up through Algebra and Geometry, to the point where I wanted to be an engineer. But trigonometry and calculus beat it out of me. I was able to memorize all the right formulas etc, but I never really understood or enjoyed what I was doing, despite being good enough to get a 5 on the BC Calculus AP test (5 is the highest score on the APs, by the way). Perfect score on the math half of the SATs, too. I was seriously so good at algebra and geometry that the questions might as well have been 2+2.

Most of that knowledge is gone, tho. I’ll do some basic algebra to figure out panel dimensions if I’m doing something tricky like wanting 4 panels in a row that get smaller and smaller at a uniform rate, but that’s about it. I was trying to do some basic subtraction a year or two ago (like, 1,153 - 827 sort of thing) and totally forgot how to borrow and carry. Ha! Comics will rot your brains, kids!

I majored in mother fucking math, jackass, I got your math theory right here. I, however, only got a 4 on the AP Calc test, so bask in your AP glory, mister, but fear my ε - δ definition of limits knowledge. I still got set theory chops and I remember some of my Calc… I have, however forgotten all my LaPlace Transform info, and my advanced diffy-q knowledge I have forgotten more math…. I think it would take another 4 years of courses to get back to my mathematics fighting weight.

Question 9: One of my favorite questions coming up: I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, then to Birmingham, Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio and settled in Columbus, Ohio…. What is your geographic story?

Haha! No sets for me, and I have no idea what those goofy squiggles mean. You win, Scotto!

I was born in Connecticut (no city for you, identity thieves!); lived in Avon CT until I was 7; moved to Sewickley (suburb of Pittsburgh), PA; went to college in Washington, DC; lived in Pittsburgh for one more year; moved to New Haven, CT for a year; and have been in Chicago, IL for the last 9 years.

Question 10: Which of those places resonates as your “home-town?”

Sewickley.

I went back a few weeks ago for the first time in over two years. I really miss it. The roads are so much fun to drive on & our woods are so awesome. My brother and I found a few caches of vines that would have made for some awesome swinging if we had a solid afternoon to get them cut and the runways cleared. Next year!

Question 11: Since comic books are relatively geography-less and you can pretty much do your job anywhere there is computers, scanners, and the Internets, what is keeping you in the Windy City?

The people. I’ve got two great circles of friends here, based around The House Theatre of Chicago (the theater company I did design work and illustration for seven years), and the Chicago comic book community. Plus a bunch of other buddies I’ve picked up at random jobs, parties, etc. It’d be tough to leave all of them.

Friends will do that to you. It is nice to have a large local cadre of friends to draw on… or so I am told. I tend to find more community online than in real life. There are some people I have never met that I call friends. Which leads me to ask. Question 12: How has the blossoming of social media and social networks affected your interactions with people or your life in general

Hmmm… well, I certainly waste more time on Twitter now that I’m on Twitter! It’s cool to keep in casual touch with comics buddies who I normally only see two or three times a year, and those casual interactions pay off when we get to see each other in person at cons. And it’s a nice ego boost when some pro I think is awesome starts following me before I start following them. I thought I was really hot shit when Ilya Salkind friended me on Facebook… until I realized that he’s friends with almost everyone in the industry. Still, being fake friends with the producer of Superman is awesome!

I guess I’m developing a halfway decent fanbase. I’m closing in on 2,500 Twitter followers… (@theBurnham) hopefully that’ll translate into increased sales of the new Officer Downe hardcover, but who knows? I certainly follow a bunch of people whose comics I don’t regularly buy. Too much shit out there to read everything, but I like to know what people are working on, if only to avoid overly awkward conversation when I see them in person.

There’s only thing worse than the despair in someone’s eyes when you’ve never heard of their project is their despair when they’ve never heard of yours!

Seriously, if you can get your 2500 followers to send you $20, you could pocket $50k (before taxes or expenses). You should make that request of your followers and see if you can just live off them like that friend who is “just gonna stay on your couch for a few weeks until I can find a place.”

Question 13: Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain way you have to have your materials laid out before you can start working on a page, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

Ha! I should do a 50/50 Twitter raffle! Winner takes half the pot, Burnham’s Home for Wayward Comic Artists takes the other. Genius!

I’m sure I’ve some lingering superstition somewhere, but I really don’t have much patience for that stuff. If it doesn’t actually exist, why waste your time on it? (says the guy who makes his living drawing fictional characters. hmmmm…)

I guess I’ll knock on wood, but I treat it more as a reminder to not take anything for granted. Plus I think it’s funny to say “Knock on, err.. particle board” or whatever non-wood substance is at hand.

Yeah, when I stopped playing sports is when I lost my belief in the superstitions. The ritual of putting on the sporting vestments was VERY superstitious, but since then I can’t think of anything superstitious either.

Question 14: So, other than Walking the Room, are there any other podcasts that you listen to?

Oh, man… a bunch. Going down my iTunes list, the ones I’m actively listening to are…

The Economist

Freakonomics

Jordan, Jesse GO!

Judge John Hodgman

My Brother, My Brother and Me

NPR: Planet Money

The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe

Skeptoid

The Tobolowsky Files

This American Life

Radiolab

WTF

You Look Nice Today

and the occasional comic podcast when the interviewee sounds interesting… War Rocket Ajax, Word Balloon, iFanboy, Around Comics.

I listen to, or have listened to many of these, so looking at it that is about maybe 20 hours of padcasts a week, correct? If you like Walking the Room, might I suggest subscribing to Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo. It is not as sad and pathetic and a bit more whimsical.

One of my mantras in life is “Funny over nice.” Often if there is a nugget of funny in a situation, I will try to mine the funny prior to showing any significant compassion. Question 15: Do you have any personal mantras?

I used to listen to Never Not Funny. If memory serves, I thought the free content was annoyingly shilly and rather than upgrading to the $ version I stopped listening altogether. I do think those guys are funny, but the show always shut off just as it was getting good, and it started to feel like thy were purposefully doing a shitty job at the beginning to make me pay for the good stuff.

Personal mantras…

"The hard part is over. Here comes the hard part." At the moment I’m doing it, I feel like each and every stage (of the creative process, or learning, or growing up, or whatever) is the most difficult thing in the world and am looking forward to the next stage, which I’m sure will be a cakewalk by comparison. It never is.

And some storytelling ones I learned from my film professor, Dr. Thiel.

"Get inside the action." "Realize is not a verb." "If I didn’t see the handkerchief, there’s no handkerchief."

I have always loved Pardo. I dig his stand-up and have for a while, and his payment scheme is not too bad for me, but I couldn’t afford all the podcasts I listen to if they all had that model. I think the 20 minute free version of NNF was always a commercial for the full version.

I adopted my wife’s family mantra, “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” And until recently, I have been letting the fuckers get me down, but I am working on that.

We are closing in on the end of the interview, so thanks for sticking with me so far (interviewee and reader) Question 16: Who is the coolest person you have met? Not necessarily the most well-known, just the coolest, and I hope it is not someone well-known.. That makes for better radio.

Ummm… Natasha Henstridge’s husband Darius was pretty cool. I assumed he was a 40-ish European billionaire prince or something, but it turns out he’s just a 30-something millionaire pop star… Kinda disappointing in retrospect.

Honestly, the coolest person I can recall meeting was this 10-year old kid at a comic convention a year or two ago. This kid was just so self-assured, casually inquisitive and well-adjusted… seriously the most socially capable human being I’ve ever met and he was only 10. That dude is going to be the president of the universe.

Question 17: Any questions that I should have asked you?

Q: What’s the awesomest shit ever?

A: Getter Robo. Nearly all of it is available as free scanlations at

Shit is super fun. Brilliantly mindless entertainment. Most of the anime versions are pretty cool, but the manga is tippity top.

And you provided a link. You are the awesomest!

Question 18: Any questions that you want to ask me?

You’ve been a Ten Tonner for quite awhile… how’d you get involved? Confession: for some reason I used to think you were Jason Baroody’s girlfriend!

Okay, the confession was completely unnecessary, because deep down aren’t we all Jason Baroody’s girlfriends?

Maybe 5 years ago I started remembering how much I loved to draw. I was in a dead end job that was not taxing me creatively and I started to frequent the comic books section of The Drawing Board. I started drawing again over there in little baby steps. I was a lurker for a while because I hadn’t picked up a pencil for drawing a good long while. In college I was only a few courses away from a studio art minor with a focus on pen and ink. And then I stopped drawing for 10+ years and lost most of my ability. After lurking I started contributing there. Over there I was only mmmpig.

That forum is a great forum, but it was a little bit too sunny for me. Very little solid criticism and more of a “you can do it, keep trying, way to go” vibe. I was always impressed with the work Baroody was posting there and most of what he was posting there was associated with some kind of Sketch Challenge thingy. 4 yrs ago I followed him back here and devoured the art all of you were throwing up, and as I read the threads I realized that this was a much better community for me. Crits at TT are solid and never unprofessional. The banter is way more vulgar and snarky and a bunch less cream-puff and sunshiney. So I stayed and slowly I have been trying to recover the drawing skills that I let get too rusty.

So my goal now is to win a Ten Ton Sketch Challenge

Question 19: How can people see your work in person and online?

Is this a subtle dig at me for never updating my website or posting art? ;)

I’ve got a slightly out of date portfolio at chrisburnham.com and I’m fairly active on Twitter where my handle is @TheBurnham. I’m on Facebook but don’t really do anything on it other than look at pictures of my niece and nephew. And of course I’m on Ten Ton.

Convention season is over for the year, so other than bumping into me at Dark Tower Comics or Challengers Comics & Conversation (both here in sunny Chicago), I think the next chance for people to see me in person will be the Emerald City show in March and C2E2 in April.

In the meantime, the Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition comes out on December 7th (pre-order yours today, kids!), and what was originally going to be Batman Inc #10 comes out, um, eventually! Hang in there, kitty cat, it’s gonna be great!

I want to thank you profusely for taking so much time with me. Especially since this interview will be seen by at most 31 people. I got juice… I got juice. Since this is the last question, let’s make it retrospective. Question 20: Did you come away with anything particularly interesting from this set of 20 questions? Learn anything about yourself through answering the questions? and/or did you at least enjoy this long drawn out process?

It’s always fun to answer questions I haven’t been asked before. Thanks!

Holy Shit! Amaziballs! This was an amazingly fun. Thanks so damn much, Chris!

To recap:

Wifey is out of town until Sunday evening

Sweet Jeebus and all that is Holly! That is a long time away from now!

This weekend is Mid-Ohio Comic Con!

I will be at table 1024 with the amazing Brett Wood

Sitting next to William Grapes and Matt Horak

There will be drawings

Spaghetti for dinner?

The kids will like it

Me? not so much… I am kind of tired of the spaghetti

Not sure that I will partake of the pasta meal

So, who likes the tumblr?

Me

That’s who

Still trying to work out the bugs with tumblr

Have a great weekend everyone