20 Questions Tuesday: 248 - Going Solo


image

So, the wife is out of town and will not be back until June 21…. Today is the 11th, she left on the 10th… That is a long damn time. It is really a damn long time to single parent… how do you single parenty people do this stuff? No seriously, how do you do it? TELL ME!!!???!!! I REALLY NEED TO KNOW!!! Needless to say, today’s topic is “Going Solo.”

Thanks this week go to Ralph Harbison, Lsig, Allreillyedup, Nadolny, Wifey, and Some Other Guy. On to the questions!  No time for links… sorry -The editor

1. Why did Lando wear Han Solo’s clothes at the end of Empire Strikes Back?
Well, they had to leave Cloud City in a bit of a hurry. I am sure that Lando’s light blue blouse eventually got dirty and he had to change… the only men’s clothes on the Millenium Falcon were Han’s. It is just lucky that Han and Lando were similar sizes?

2. Why don’t people see why it is so important that Solo shot only?
I know. Seriously? People don’t get this? It is all about character arc. Han starts out as a hard-boiled smuggler looking out for Han, and ends as a guy volunteering for a near suicidal mission on an unnamed moon to topple the Empire.

3. Man to man fight, who wins: Solo or Indiana Jones?
In fisticuffs? Indy… He is just more rough and tumble than Han. Indiana is more the quintessential Saturday morning serial movie hero. Blaster v pistol, Han.

4. Solo vs Malcom Renolds of Firefly?
Mal… no discussion. Maybe not if flying, Han can prolly outfly Mal, but not Wash. R.I.P. Wash.

5. Solo vs ANY Star Trek Captain?
Solo, but he has trouble v Commander Sisko with the bald head and the goatee, not Cpatain Sisko with the clean face and short hair.

6. What do you expect will be your biggest kid-related challenge while she’s gone?
Making sure both kids make it all 11+ days. It is questionable.

7. What will be the non-kid (and yet family-friendly) thing you will struggle most with?
The logistics. Getting the kids picked up from their summer scheduled activities in a timely fashion and getting food on the table. I know this is still kid centered, but I have no issues with my getting to where I need to be.

8. Why will she be gone so long this time?
She has 2 projects that abut each other this time around. There is usually more tie in between travel trips, but scheduling limitations led to this issue.

9. What is Wifey going to worry most about while she’s gone?
I think more than anything, my sanity. That is followed closely by flying. She hates flying.

10. Where is the farthest you’ve ever traveled alone?
Halifax, NS

11. How horrifying is the thought of truly being single again and dating? On a scale of 1 to 13?
On a scale of 1 to 13 where 1 is easy and 13 is the most horrifying thing one can imagine? I am going to go with a 20.

12. Have you heard the “Red Solo Cup” song? Thoughts? Bring back any memories?
I was culturally unaware of that song, and now you owe me 2 minutes of my life back. I mean it. It does bring back memories… memories of why I cannot stand Toby Keith and/or country music.

13. Worst band member to go solo?
David Lee Roth.

14. Han Solo. First response that comes to mind?
Han. Shot. First.

image



15.Where is wifey going?
The wife is just going up! She is heading to Minneapolis, Minnesota and then to Halifax, Nova Scotia.

16. Is she going solo as well?
Sort of. None of her local co-worker peeps are going, but she is meeting up with some people that she has worked solidly with others frequently for both places.

17. What does dad cook whilst going solo?
Pretty much many of the same things that I fix whilst she is there, but I will favor some of the kid’s favorite meals more that the Wife does not like. Spaghetti, flanks steak, pork chops, hamburgers, bbq, and tacos.

18. Task then question… Task: Go do the Star Was dancing “Solo”… Question: Well, how was it?
Task: 4 stars
Question: I no like the dance game, mainly because I am not a good dancer.

19. What will you do this week while Wifey is gone, that you normally wouldn’t do?
Probably watch more action adventure movies than typical.

20. I’ve heard that you are lonely if you think about doing things BY yourself, but if you do them WITH yourself, you’re in lovely company. Wise words or happy horseshit?
Happy horseshit.

To recap:
I am dealing with a 9 year old going on pre-teen angst and 5 year old who loves pushing the 9 year old with pre teen angst’s BIG RED BUTTONS
They are just so big and red and shiny and need pushed
Repeatedly and both forcefully and lightly, but consistently
But, push them she does
It is a sight to behold
Spaghetti for dinner tonight… I will have some kind of soup
I have not found a gluten free pasta that works well as just pasta and sauce
I have found a few that are nice for baked casseroles
But spaghetti and casserole are not necessarily the same thing
I will make some soup or some such
Yeah! Gluten Free is Awesome!!!
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 247 - Compliments

Today is my little girl’s 5th birthday…  Holeee shit she is 5.  How in the hell is this possible? Sweet jeebus! I am completely confused by all of this. She cannot be 5 because I cannot be 5 years older.  She is amazingly healthy and happy, her allergies are completely out of control this season, but she is riding it well enough. Anyway… How the hell did this happen… oh, wait, I already “Anyway’ed.”


Anyway redux… I noticed an article this weekend where it went over the idea how people have difficulty accepting compliments.  Therefore today’s post is all about compliments.  Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Ralph Harbison, Dave Newbold, Wifey, Chris Corrigan, Kelly McGowan, and some other guy.  On to the questions!


1.  Does the Theory of Relativity apply to compliments?

Yes, “I am the coolest of all my friends” does not say much about me because my friends are uncool. Sorry for the hard truths that just happened, friends.


2.  What’s the greatest compliment you’ve received?

Compliments shed off of me like water off a ducks ass.  I cannot remember a particular “greatest compliment.”


3.  If you’ve paid $500 for an airline ticket is it “really” a complimentary beverage?

Kind of, you now have to pay for snacks, and honestly, you are paying the fees for gas, wages, maintenance, etc…


4.  Who in your opinion is a modern day Eddie Haskell?

I cannot think of anyone who is kind of the smarmy jerk who compliments the equivalent to Mrs. Cleaver.  You know Haskell wanted to bone Mrs. Cleaver, am I right?


5.  Do these questions make me sound fat?

These questions make you seem fitter and trimmer, have you lost weight?


6.  Why are people offended by back-handed compliments, except for when they are not?

Well, back-handed compliments sting like the back of my hand, and some people like it rough.


7.  Is it so bad to tell someone “You don’t sweat much for a fat chick?”

You need more of a modifier, try “You don’t sweat soooo much for a fat chick.”


8.  What is the best compliment you can give?

That’s good form.


9.  If other people’s opinion isn’t supposed to matter, why give them at all?

I don’t give other people’s opinions, I only give mine, and those matter the most.


10.  What is the etymology of the word?

It is derived from the words “comply” and “-ment.”  Make your own judgements on how that comes together.


11.  What do you get complimented on the most? What’s the most backhanded compliment you have ever received?

Part the first: My drawing, even though I feel like I have a rather realistic idea of where I stand in my capabilities compared to the pros.

Part the second:  You really have a pretty robust vocabulary considering how much you swear.  My fucking lexicon is God-Damn immense.


12.  What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received from Wifey, Little Man and Q?

Firstly Who Gives a Fuck about the Oxford Comma? Not you apparently, that’s who. Wifey: Her compliment is not fit for polite company. Little Man: You are the best papa ever.  Damn straight I am.  I work hard for that title.  Q: You draw gooder.  I do my newly 5 year old little girl, I do draw the gooderest.


13.  So, in movies when a restaurant gives someone an entree for free, the server often says, “Compliments of the chef.”  What the hell does that mean?

Well, it goes with an archaic meaning of “compliment” which means a gift.  The chef is not actually saying, “you look great and I like your erudite conversation so I will tell you so with free kansas City Style Baby-Back Ribs.”  mmmm ribs.


14.  Have you ever fished for compliments?

I don’t think I would be very good at fishing for compliments.  I mean, I don’t feel mt blog is very good or that I really could pull off something like fishing for compliments. I probably should not even post this, cause it is pretty weak.


15.  When a woman asks if her ass looks big in that dress, is this an appropriate time to drink all the beer or do you go for the compliment?

Immediately say “no,” regardless of the truth.  Do not hesitate, do not contemplate.  Say, “No” and then drink all the beers, make your hasty exit,  and hope you answered quickly and convincingly enough.


16.  Is it proper to compliment a friend’s spouse on how they look? Uh… I’m asking for a friend?

It depends on if there is something underlying the compliment, more than just a “that looks good on you/you look good” way.  If it is a friendly, “Holeee Chit!  You look da awesomest! Great shoes!” That is one thing, whereas if you say something like, “I really like how that shirt makes your breasts look yummy.”  You have definitely overstepped.


17.  What is the perfect compliment to ice cream?

Well, the perfect compliment to ice cream is “That ice cream is so good, it makes me want to do something illegal.” The perfect complement to ice cream depends on the flavor of ice cream.  For example, a high quality salty caramel ice cream works sublimely as the ice cream in a root beer float.  Trust me on that one.  So I will need more information to really give you a better answer.


18. What is the perfect compliment for steak and potatoes?  Red wine? White? Beer?

Corn on the cob, and this gluten free red ale I had this weekend… so good and kept the bloat away.


19.  What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve given?

Well, it is not that weird for me, but I am sure it comes off as weird.  telling absolute strangers when they have on awesome shoes.


20.  What color compliments you most?

Icy blues and aqua colors.  They help to make my eyes stand out.


To recap:

I am old because my youngest is 5

That’s how that works, right?

We had flank steak, white rice, and corn on the cob tonight for the birthday dinner

Her menu, and it rocked

Now we need to clean up the kitchen pretty badly

The wife has a day long meeting in DC tomorrow, so her day will start early and end late and involve a good bit of travel

My day will include wrangling kids

It isn’t too long til the oldest is 10… what am I going to do with that?

Double digit kid’s age

I will lose my little lizard brain

Sorry for the tardiness of the post all

Have a great weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 246: Brian Troyan

image

There are few popular culture franchises that really spark the imagination of the masses.  Comic books have become a new mythos, Star Trek is how we want the future to be, Firefly is most likely how the future will end up.  There are some smaller sci-fi/pop culture entities that have strong followings as well: Dr Who, Aliens, Predator, Blade Runner, TRON, etc… But there has been nothing so incredibly embraced by society and popular culture as Star Wars.  It is a fantasy tale that is wrapped in a cloak of science fiction, that has captured the hearts and minds of millions of people.  It does not matter what movie you first saw in the theater, but when the symphonic music swells and you see the opening crawl, you are hooked…

In fact, I want you to imagine that the above is actually in yellow text crawling off into the void of a star field while John Williams is conducting his heart out.  It is this time that the camera would swing to the left and see an Imperial Shuttle come into view and pan down to a blue and green planet.

The 501st is a charitable organization of cos-players (costume play) who dress as characters in the Galactic Empire.  They are simply amazing.  Today I get the pleasure of asking Brian Troyan, 501st Legion Public Relations Officer, 20 questions about himself (mainly himself) and the 501st, Vader’s Fist.   onto the questions!BTW, during the course of these 20 Questions, I drew up some sketches of his imperial archetypes…

As I have mentioned in previous 20 Questions, I love maps and hearing about people’s geographic stories.  I will use myself as an example.  I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  Moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was 3.  Grew up in Birmingham, Alabama until I went to college in Kent, Ohio.  There I met my future wife and moved down to Columbus, Ohio where I have lived ever since.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I’m a native Texan, transplanted to the midwest. I grew up in a little suburb of Houston near Sugarland called Meadows, which my Mom was the mayor of for several years. There’s a little street there now called “Troyan Drive,” named in honor of her. When I was 13, we moved to Pittsford, NY, outside of Rochester, for my dad’s work. I spent three very formative years there, before we had to move for Dad’s career again. We came back to Texas when I was 16, this time to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I finished high school there and then spent five years at Texas A&M in College Station, before packing my life up and moving to Chicago in 1999 to pursue a degree in acting at The Theatre School. I’ve lived here ever since, but every December, my wife and I drive down to my sister’s house in Austin to spend the holidays with my side of the family. It’s always great to visit, and in some ways leaving gets harder every year.

That is a pretty impressive geographic footprint you have going there.  So you moved Chicago-way to pursue a degree in acting… Question 2: Do you currently (aside from the 501st events) do any acting/performing, or did you find some other vocation?

Although I had some small commercial success as I was starting out, real life had a different path for me. While I still do some work in commercial voice-overs and I push myself to get on stage every couple of years (and I really enjoy it when I do!), I don’t think it would be fair to professional actors for me to count myself amongst them. It doesn’t pay the bills; my nine-to-five is spent with legal research in a law library. It’s a good gig and I like the people I work with.

In undergrad, I earned a triple-major B.A. in English, psychology, and theatre, and I wound up in a field using the English degree, which I really didn’t expect. (It was Plan C, behind acting or becoming a psychologist.) But like a lot of liberal arts folks, I’ve internalized the skills I learned in getting my degrees, and I think they made me a better human being. All of it factors into the work that I do simply living my life.

As a side note, I’ve never really thought of the events that I do with the 501st as “acting” or “performing,” at least not in the same way that I think of taking on a role for a play or a film. There’s certainly an aspect of theatricality in trooping, though, and I’ve been grateful to have some experience in improvisation when the need has come up. …Of course, I could say that same thing about everyday life!

Triple major?  That is some ambition there.  I do believe that when you go “Trooping” there is somewhat of a performance aspect to what you are doing.  I think that is the case for all cosplay when it is not Halloween.  I know that I would carry myself differently posture-wise if I were in a uniform or armor.  Next time you are out with the 501st, look at how different characters compose themselves physically.  There is performance going on there.

Here comes the question that everyone enjoys the answer to…. well, all 5 of my readers.  This is a question that the comedian Paul F. Tompkins raises in one of his hour specials… Question 3:Cake or pie?  Specifically which kind and why?

It wasn’t a matter of ambition. More like indecision and then realizing a semester before graduation that I was just one class short of getting the third degree. From the university, not my parents. But yeah, three majors in five years wasn’t bad. Three nigh-unmarketable majors, but, hey, that’s impetuous youth for ya!

And, sure, I didn’t mean to imply that there wasn’t a performance aspect to what the 501st does, but as an actor, I’ve just never thought of them in the same category. Maybe I ought to.

Oh yeah, you had a question:

Pie. Banana creme. Delicious and hilarious. (Or “hilaricious.”)

I mean, honestly, cake doesn’t have a chance. When was the last time someone got hit in the face with a cake?

It is an interesting thing about the pie v cake debate.  I have said it before on the blog, and I am sure I will say it many times more, but people who choose pie, really enjoy pie, and it it is available would love to have a slice.  People who choose cake would stab a baby with a fork to get a piece of cake.  I personally have never been able to get into the cream pies.  I think it has something to do with the texture of the confection.

Question 4: Is there a particular food texture that you cannot help but avoid like the plague?

I’m no foodie, and I’ve got a really undiscerning palate. I wouldn’t say that there’s one particular texture that I can’t stand, but there are definitely foods that I dislike because of their texture. Oddly, the ones that come to mind are of the creamy variety. Avocados. And for some reason, the idea of baby food really makes my taste buds crawl. I think it has to do with the idea of something that has the consistency of pudding, but tastes like vegetables, or beef, or macaroni and cheese. I know it’s perfectly edible, but… Bleah.

It’s like a chocolate-flavored steak. I don’t care how delicious it might be, the disconnect between a mismatched texture and flavor really puts me off.  

For me the most horrible food item that people eat is coconut.  The texture, flavor, and smell are all abominations, but particularly the texture.  Even when I cannot immediately taste the flavor, I can feel the texture and be disgusted by its horribleness.

So, let’s do some Star Wars centric stuff.  As I understand it, you have a few different sets of imperial garb that you can select for your 501st appearances. Question 5: Which uniforms/costumes do you have and which one/s are your favorites and why?

Ah! Now you’re speaking my language!

I’ve got three uniforms (no, wait, four) that I wear for appearances, and they each have their advantages for certain situations.

The first costume that I built was an Imperial Stormtrooper (or “TK”). I felt that if I was joining up with the 501st Legion, then that was where I ought to start. It’s restrictive to wear (no sitting down!), it doesn’t have any perks in comfort or convenience (Pockets? Who needs pockets?), and it stows in the largest of my totes, so it can be a bit of a pain to travel with on the Chicago trains and buses… But nothing else I have really compares in terms of being a universally-recognized Star Wars character. Stormtroopers are the glue that hold an Imperial presence together. We have all sorts of specialized troops, but without the ‘vanilla’ TK to tie it all together, there’s something that feels off. If the Midwest Garrison is set to make an appearance, but there aren’t any Stormtroopers signed up to attend, I try my best to fill that role.

image

My second uniform is the Imperial Gunner (or “IG”). These guys are on camera for about 10 seconds for the whole Original Trilogy, so they aren’t exactly the most recognizable character in the galaxy (though some people recognize them from the “Star Wars: Battlefront” games as the “Imperial Engineer”). My Gunner’s been mistaken for Darth Vader, a riot policeman, and even a Power Ranger… But it’s perfectly comfortable to wear, has handy pockets, and fits into a little bin for traveling. I save it for events where we have lots of members attending (who can cover the more iconic Imperials), when I have to travel light, or if I’m hauling a bunch of other stuff along with me. Mostly, those are comic cons.

image

My third costume is hands-down my favorite, and the one that I probably should have started out with in the first place. ‘Return of the Jedi’ came out when I was seven years old, and ever since then the Biker Scout (or “TB”) has been my favorite Imperial soldier. I think it might’ve been because I rode my bicycle everywhere back then. Every trip to school or the comic book store could become an adventure on Endor. And the uniform really doesn’t have a down side. It’s recognized for what it is (or at worst is mistaken for a TK), affords plenty of motion (sitting down, running, whatever), has plenty of pockets, and fits in a medium-size storage bin. The best thing about the Scout, though, is that when I take pictures with little kids, I can kneel down to get on their level. I can also lift up the visor on the helmet (kind of like on a medieval knight’s helmet) and show any scared kids that I’m not so scary underneath the armor.

image

That fourth costume that I almost forgot about is the scruffy nerfherder Han Solo. The costume I have for him isn’t up to approval levels from the 501st’s sister club, the Rebel Legion (not yet, anyway), but I’m working on improving it. Han works great if there’s a wookiee costumer there, or a princess, or a farmboy, or a bounty hunter… but I’ve found he’s a little odd hanging around by himself. Ironic for a guy named “Solo.” heh.

image

I have always loved the Imperial Gunners, but they seemed so limited to the Death Star.  For as many alien species that show up for less than 3 seconds, I was always surprised at the lack of Imperial Gunner action figure from Kenner/Hasboro since they actually did something in the Movies of some import, blowing up Alderaan and everything.

Question 6: So how much non-movie Star Wars Expanded Universe information do you consume? Games? Books? etc…

I know, right? Kenner actually released an Imperial Gunner as one of the last figures of the Star Wars line back in 1984 or so (I think it was my brother’s favorite back in the day), and they did have a couple of sculpts in the Hasbro line. Interesting fact, though: Lego has yet to release a Gunner mini-fig. There are literally hundreds of minor characters that they’ve represented in their toy line, but no love for the Gunners.

These days, my consumption of non-movie stuff is mostly down to watching the Clone Wars animated series, but I used to voraciously devour anything Star Wars that I could get my hands on, especially back in the “dark times” of Star Wars fandom. There was a period from about 1984 until 1991, where pretty much the only new Star Wars stuff out there was for the Star Wars Role Playing Game by West End Games. I bought every resource book and adventure module that they published, and carried the torch of the faithful fan, even without much to go on.

In 1991, Timothy Zahn’s “Heir to the Empire” novel and Dark Horse Comics’ “Dark Empire” mini-series hit bookshelves, and after their success, the floodgates opened for the EU. I kept up with all of the novels for a long time, but once they really began pushing into the area of the “New Jedi Order,” thirty years after the movies, and killed off one of the main heroes of the saga, I lost a lot of interest in it, and didn’t have time to keep up with the releases. I also stopped buying comics about eight or ten years ago, so aside from a few characters’ names, I know almost nothing about Dark Horse’s “Legacy” era, which is set 100 years after the New Jedi Order.

Games are a similar story, as I played X-Wing and TIE Fighter back in the day, Dark Forces and even Galactic Battlegrounds, which was an RPF like StarCraft. I got addicted to playing the Battlefront series, and I thought the Force Unleashed games were well done. Somehow, I missed the boat on Republic Commando. I’ve heard great things about it, but have never played it. And although I still have all of my old Star Wars RPG books, I never picked up the newer, d20 System that Wizards of the Coast released. Sadly, the time I have for gaming has dramatically diminished in recent years.

I completely understand the reduction of Star Wars related down time.  I was playing the MMORPG Star Wars the Old Republic for a bit, but now I am working full-time and going to school full-time, and parenting… There is just no down-time available for leisurely Star Wars entertainment.  I will be back on board with the new movies that will hit the street

in the next few years, but for the time-being Star Wars gaming it is a casualty of ruthless prioritization.

Question 7:  So, how many conventions do you get to every year.  I imagine C2E2, but what else do you get to?

Yep, I’m at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo every year, and I don’t miss Wizard World Chicago Comic Con. There are others, but those are the big ones here in Chicago. I’ve done DragonCon a few times. And I did a lot of gaming conventions in the past, too. Big stuff like GenCon, but also smaller, local conventions. A couple friends of mine and I once drove all night through a blizzard to a gaming con in Ohio. I grabbed literally ten minutes of sleep under a table, and then played Living Greyhawk D&D for the next 12 or 14 hours. We hit the sack, then got up in the morning and played some more. It was an awesome, awesome weekend.

But you know, real life strikes again, and for better or for worse, my days of traveling to conventions are probably largely behind me. I’m sure I’ll make it to a Star Wars Celebration someday, though.  

I go to Origins in Columbus every year and (Mid-)Ohio Comic Con pretty much every year.  There is usually a contingent of the 501st walking around those places.  I would suggest looking towards Cincinnati ComicCon because they are really making a push to make it a big one.  I have gone in with some friends for tables at some of the cons before and sketch my damn fool mind for a day… one of these days I will have enough vacation built up to go all three days.

Question 8: So how many events do you hit with the 501st every year?  And what kind of events are they?

I troop about forty or fifty events a year. But I’m definitely one of my garrison’s most active members, so you shouldn’t take that as an average indicator of involvement in the Legion. Some of our guys can only get into costume once a month, or just a handful of times a year. But making a memorable appearance is about quality, not quantity. As a friend of mine once put it, “It only takes one event to put a smile on someone’s face.”

The events I’ve attended have run the gamut from huge comic cons to small birthday parties and everything in-between. The 501st has been invited to troop at just about anything you can think of… Museum exhibits, community festivals, school fundraisers, charity walk-a-thons, weddings, professional sporting events, hospital visits, library days, movie premieres, toy drives, in-store appearances, benefit galas, parades… We’ve even personally helped grant wishes for children through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Darth Vader’s troops go wherever we’re needed.

That is a boatload of activity.  I was expecting something to the effect of 10 to 15… Wow… that sounds so incredibly involved.

Question 10:Fill in the blanks.  I feel that I am mostly ________.  Other people feel that I am mostly ________.

Optimistic.

I wasn’t always. When I was a kid, I was pretty negative. I felt like the world was constantly kicking me in the teeth. But Grandpa Troyan once asked me, “Have you ever thought that maybe all of the bad luck you’re having now is there to balance out all of the good luck that you’ll have later?” That really cheered me up, and it inspired me to start approaching every day with a positive outlook.

- water

- straight outta Compton

- scruffylooking

- fun

- human

- a nerfherder

- a closet ewok lover

- effervescent

- meat

- imaginary

- crazytown bananapants

- virile with an almost episcopalian predictability

- sexy and I know it

- hard-working, loyal, dedicaed, and a cruel and harsh taskmaster

- awesomeness… wrapped in bacon!

-harmless

Being mostly optimistic is something to strive for.  I know people who spend most of their life trying to be mostly optimistic… and falling way short of that mark.  That being said, you should feel optimistic that your friends are so delightfully playful.  

photo st01sm_zps4fccf1ee.jpg

Oooh, over half way done.  Question 11: Back to Star Wars… J.J. Abrams, huh? How does the Midwest 501st Garrison feel about that?

Like the rest of the Star Wars community, I think our feelings are mixed, but I look on his hiring with guarded optimism. I can’t speak for everyone, but knowing that Abrams is a life-long fan of the franchise does give me hope that he will create something closer to what the fans have been wanting to see for the last thirty years. I haven’t seen a ton of his work, but I did think Cloverfield was an incredible monster movie for a new age. And while I’m not a huge Trek fan, I thought he brought a lot of great things to the table when he took the Enterprise out for a spin. The film wasn’t without its plot holes and flaws, but to be fair, none of the Star Wars films (except maybe Empire) have been perfect.

I’m a big fan of a web comic called Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (at smbc-comics.com), and the author, Zach Weinersmith, tweeted out something when the Disney acquisition of LFL was announced. I think it applies equally well to the collective geek freak-out that happened when J.J. Abrams was announced as director: “Worrying that Disney will ruin Star Wars is like worrying that a second iceberg will dive down to hit the Titanic.” The point is: After the Prequel Trilogy, how can anybody seriously worry about something “terrible” happening to the franchise?

Since Abrams is a Star Wars fan himself, I’m sure he’s feeling an incredible personal pressure to get Episode VII “right.” And of course, if he fails to deliver, you know the hard-core nerds will call him “Jar Jar Abrams” for the rest of his life. I hope the pressure he’s getting from the community and from himself doesn’t keep him from making bold new choices.

Regardless of how the movie turns out, there’s going be be a new Star Wars for a new generation. I don’t see a down side to that. Plus, as far as the Legion is concerned, new movies mean new costumes to recreate, so when the film comes out, it’s certain to be an exciting time in the costuming community. That would be the case, no matter who was tapped to direct.

I think I would rather Disney not attempt to further the saga, but instead broaden the universe or flesh out the secondary characters.  Then I think it would be possible to see other film makers individual takes on that universe.  For example, Tarantino’s take on the bounty hunters… Del Toro following an AT-AT crew… A bio-pic about Wedge Antilles Culminating in his Death Star 2 run, Etc…

Question 12: Is there a Star Wars plotline that you would like to see explored and deepened?

I always thought that an ongoing TV series about Rogue Squadron’s exploits would be great. The “Anyone can die” principle would help ground it in a much more mature sense, and it could really delve into the “Wars” half of “Star Wars.” But I think that’s better material for an ongoing series on the side. For the films, I don’t have any specific side stories that I’m dying for them to investigate.

But in a broader sense, as the new films come out, I’d like to see the franchise return to its Joseph Campbell archetypal roots. The original Star Wars was always a fairy tale, that just happened to be set in space. There was the young man seeking his destiny, the wise mentor who guided him, the scoundrel with the heart of gold, the fiery princes, the evil black knight… And the story of the original trilogy was all united around the redemption of the hero’s father. It was about Vader, but told through the journey of Luke.

I think the Prequel films missed the mark in that they could have been about the fall of the father, told through the journey of his ‘brother.’ Kenobi really should have been the tragic hero of the prequels, and the arc could have been a cautionary fable about both hubris and the lure of power. But special effects took center stage, and I think a lot of the real core of the magical tale was lost.

I’d like to see a return to the kind of story that connects with people on a level of the collective unconscious. Or to put it another way, I hope they bring “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away” back to the feelings of  ”Once upon a time.”

Oh, most definitely the series needs to go back to story archetypes.  The hero needs threshold guardians and existential issues etc… When Lucas went back to the prequels, what he really made was a historical document.  I would love for a documentary filmmaker to go in and re-edit the prequels as a docu-drama where some fo the footage is turned into more found footage stuff and there is voice over narration and interviews with Galactic Historians in the New republic.  They are  shot like history reels and not a movies.  But that is just my take on it….

So, here we are at unlucky 13…  Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals… (for example for ritual I used to put on my soccer uniform in a very specific sequence not so much for superstitious luck reasons as much as a ritual to get myself “in the right frame of mind) Anything?

I don’t think I’m all that superstitious, which is weird because I used to read all kinds of books about monsters, myths, and the supernatural when I was a kid. The superstitions that I do observe are mostly related to theatre… Never saying the title of the Scottish Play or whistling in a theater, saying “break a leg” instead of “good luck,” that sort of thing. I also don’t kill spiders in my house. I’ve heard that’s supposed to be bad luck, but honestly, that’s more just because I don’t like killing things (even tiny, creepy-crawly things with way more eyes and legs than any animal should have). Live and let live, you know?

I don’t think I have too many rituals, either. None that I can think of, anyway. Maybe they’ve all lost their mystique and have just become “habits” at this point.

Sorry. That was a good question. I wish I had a better answer for it!

Ooh, I had completely forgotten about the superstitions associated with the theater.  That is a whole different ball of wax.  And let’s hear less of this belittling your own answers right now, mister.  Your answer was excellent and you are a beautiful flower.  

Time to get creative.  Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of.  I chose Vampire Bear (the ursine variety, not a hairy gay dude). Question 14: What would you be most afraid of?image

I’m going to go with an angry dragon that breathes molten plutonium.

I’m pretty sure that if I saw that flying down the street toward me, my day would be getting a whole lot worse real quick!  

I am not sure if the dragon would really need to be all that angry.  I mildly miffed dragon that breathes molten plutonium would do it for me.  Yep, a dragon with a hangnail that just saw the Catwoman movie with Halle Berry would be scary enough for me.  I think once “dragon” enters the fray, fear will abound.

photo IGsm_zps98ed9df0.jpg

Since we started these 20 questions one thing in particular happened for you personally in regards to the 501st. Question 15: I was curious, what duties does being the commander of the 501st Midwest Garrison entail?  

Oh… We’re a small outpost and not very self-sufficient. And I’ve had supply problems of every kind. I’ve had labor difficulties…(catches Han grinning at him) What’s so funny?

Whoops. Fell into my “administrator of Cloud City” role there for a second…

The Midwest Garrison is actually none of those things. We’re one of the largest garrisons in the Legion, and certainly one of the busiest. It’s rare that we don’t have a weekend without an event somewhere in our territory.

As the MWG CO, my job is essentially to be the chief administrator of everything that happens with the 501st in Illinois. I’ve got a dedicated staff to help me, though, on everything from event coordination, charity outreach, merchandise approvals, new member applications, and PR and promotion. I trust them to take care of business, and now that we’re a few weeks into the new administration, I think they’ve got some strong footing to take more responsibility. In a lot of ways, good leadership is like putting on a great play. It’s all in the casting. If you get the right people, everything has a way of falling into place effortlessly.

As Commander I have to make sure that the machine is well-oiled, and that lines of communication remain open. I also have to keep my members informed of what’s going on locally and in the higher echelons of the Legion’s administrative structure. Luckily, since I’m a member of Legion Command myself, I have something of a direct line to those folks. <nerfherder smirk>

I’m still learning the ropes of my new responsibilities, and working hard to balance Garrison and Legion work with my real job and my family. (And somewhere in there, I’d also like to get out and actually troop!) I have some very large and well-worn boots to fill from the last Garrison Commander, but I’m confident that I can live up to the faith she has in me and do right by the MWG for as long as it’s in my care.

That does sound like a second job, and maybe a third.  That really seems like it is a time sink, it may be a worthwhile time sink, but it does seem like it could just eat time like the Great Pit of Carcoon.

Question 16: Is there a question I haven’t asked that you think I should? or a question that you expected me to ask that I haven’t?

Ha! So now I have to do your job, too?

Let’s see…  I’ve never actually been interviewed like this, so I don’t think I had any kind of expectations starting out. And frankly, the food tangent did catch me a little by surprise, so I’d say expectations are out the window!

This question isn’t really something you need to ask, either, but it’ll give me a chance to tell a story or two: Question 16: When I (you, that is) first approached you (me, that is) about doing this interview, I (you) asked you (me) if I needed to refer to you only by your Legion TK number or your online name “Fleetfang,” or if I could use your real name. You said just calling you “Brian” was totally fine. What’s with the numbers and callsigns, then, and where did you come up with yours?  

Great question! When the 501st was founded, it was a club for stormtrooper costumers. And since the founders wanted to make things a little more fun, they decided that everyone in the club would get a “TK number,” like in that line from Star Wars, “TK-421, why aren’t you at your post?” It’s a little strange, since people don’t normally like being treated like a number, but in the 501st, getting your official Legion number is a kind of rite of passage. When you get your number, you’re officially part of the Legion family. Everyone gets a unique number that’s nobody else’s, and it’s yours forever, even after death.

Back when things started out, everyone got three digit numbers, and a lot of members picked their birthday or their kid’s birthday or the month and year that their daughter was born. But those three-digit numbers ran out after a few years. Then they moved on to four-digit numbers, and this past year, we actually had to break out the five-digit combos.

When I joined up, I looked over the unclaimed number combinations and thought about what I could make out of them. Like the last couple digits of the year I was born and my college class year, or maybe the last four digits of my phone number or something. Stuff like that. But I decided that I just wanted a number that stood on its own and didn’t refer to anything else in my life. My Legion number is 8968, which was the last available four-digit number at that time that read the same upside-down as it did right side up. Seemed good enough for Imperial work.

As for the “callsign” stuff, since the Legion is worldwide, we don’t have an actual headquarters. Our home base is online at the forums on www.501st.com, so we all have to have forum handles. Sure, some people use their first name or whatever, but I went with Fleetfang as an homage to a kind of “former life” of mine.

I mentioned that I played a lot of D&D. I actually named myself after one of my favorite characters that I played. Ferrik Fleetfang was a Lawful Evil halfling wererat rogue assassin. He was just over two-feet tall, wielded a ten-foot-long spiked chain, and in halfling/rat hybrid form he had a 30 Dexterity and something like eight attacks of opportunity a round. I know that probably doesn’t mean anything to a lot of your readers, but when the wizard cast improved invisibility on him, he was a total badass.

But that wasn’t what made him fun. Since he was a wererat, I figured that in halfling form, he’d have really pronounced front teeth, so I had him speak with the most over-pronounced, Sylvester-the-Cat lisp. It made him just a ton of fun at the table. Here’s this deadly assassin, but he’s got this comically thick lisp… that he was (of course) REALLY sensitive about. “What’TH THo funny, bub? You know who you’re talkin’ to? I’m the moTHt deadly aTHTHaTHTHin in all of WeTHteria! TaTHte my THteal, THweetcheekTHs!”

Ah… good times…


Actually, I’m going to give you a bonus, since now that I think about it, there’s another, more Legion-centric question that I WAS sort of expecting…


Question 16.5: "Why do you troop? What’s the attraction of dressing up with the 501st Legion?"
(Another great question! You’re really good at this!)
Members of the 501st troop for a lot of different reasons. For some, it’s the charity aspect and giving back to the community. For others, it’s the chance to meet celebrities and people behind the Saga. For a lot of us, it’s the thrill of “becoming” Darth Vader (and having walked in those boots for an afternoon once, there IS something very magical and transformative about that suit.)

For me, it started out as a way to express my fandom, and I was inspired by the good deeds that I’d read about. But even at my very first event, my reasons for doing this changed. I’ve met some wonderful people through the 501st, some of the best people that I’ve ever met in my life, people I never would have met without my white armor. We all come from really different backgrounds, but there was something that led each and every one of us to the Legion.

They’ve become like an extended family to me, and the main reason that I troop is to hang out with my stormtrooper brothers and sisters. Getting together to put on action figure costumes and playing “plastic spaceman” may sound odd, but at its heart, it really isn’t any different than getting together to go bowling or for poker night.

When I joined up in the Legion back in 2009, I had no idea that it would so quickly become such a big part of my life. I really love those guys, and I absolutely can’t imagine my life without the friendships that I’ve forged with them.

Heck!  Someone needs to do my job, because I sure as hell am not doing it.

Firstly, I knew, from watching interactions between people of the 501st and perusing your 501st website, there had to be some method behind the madness associated with in your “Fleetfang.”  Thanks for clearing that up.

Secondly, the most bizarre D&D character I ever ran with (only for one session) was a chaotic neutral stone giant magic user.  The minimum requirements for a mage at the time matched up with the maximum int/wis/char stats for stone giants.  Hilarity ensued.

Thirdly, a Sylvester the Cat voice is perfect for the table.  The worst I have done is a Russian fur trapper who “has tick Roosian accent, yes?” He ended every statement with a questioning “Yes?”  It annoyed many people at the table. Hilarity ensued.

I also love why you are gearing up whenever you can to tromp around in the white and black.

Question 17: So, are four Star Wars costumes enough, or are there others in the works?  If so, which ones, or if not, is there a dream Star Wars costume you would want to attempt?

Table-top gaming is made for those moments when hilarity ensues, and it never hurts to bring your own schtick! If you’re having fun, then you’re doing it right. I miss rolling the dice, probably more than I’d like to admit.

Four Star wars costumes are more than enough (at least that’s what my wife is telling me), so at this point ANY new costume is pretty much a “dream” costume.

Honestly, I’ve got something to wear for just about any trooping occasion, and there are only so many events in a year. The more costumes you have, the less often you get to wear each of them, so adding to my costume closet isn’t really something I need to do any time soon.

I’m passively on the lookout for getting together a Tusken Raider, but the fact that I don’t live near any fabric or military supply stores makes shopping for parts on a budget pretty impossible. The thing I think I like most about the idea of being a Tusken is that you can really “play” the character of it, a lot more than you can in, say, a Stormtrooper.

I’ve toyed with the idea of putting together a Snow Scout, too - an expanded universe take on the Biker Scout - just to change things up when it’s frickin’ freezing outside. Biggs Darklighter, the Rebel pilot, is another “face character” that I think I could pull off… if I could stand having an un-ironic mustache.

If there was a real “dream” costume, one that I’d never have the means to put together, I’d probably say Boba Fett, because everybody loves The Fett. Or Bossk, the lizard-man bounty hunter from ‘Empire.’ I actually had a Bossk for a while, but I had to part with it. I’d love to rebuild one someday. But of course, Bossk has many of the same problems that Solo has… He doesn’t stand by himself too well; he needs Fett or another bounty hunter to hang out with. Plus, he scares the crap out of little kids.  

I’ve got some wackier “non-canon” ideas for Star Wars costumes, but in the hopes that I might someday actually get to build them, I don’t want to give away all of my good ideas. /insert evil laugh/

Cross purposing your existing stuff, a la a Snow Trooper, makes a bunch of sense. Also, ramping down the costume production in order to maintain your marriage makes sense as well.

photo scoutsm_zpsb8e7522c.jpg

Well, here is where I get nervous and turn the tables.  You have spent a solid 17 questions answering my drivel, and turnabout is fair play… so Question 18: Is there anything that you have wanted to ask me?

Ah! So the hunter becomes the hunted!

Alright, here’s a favorite question of mine. It’s a two-parter… If you had a superpower, what would it be? Would you be a hero or a villain?

I have never actually been asked this… I have been asked about a prehensile tail or rams horns, but not which super power I would like and if I would be good or bad.

Power: telekinesis

Good or Bad: Fairly Good, but I would prank people constantly.  Tapping on the shoulder, flicking ears etc…

Question 19: So what are you taking away from this 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

…Maybe pulling someone’s pants down at the opportune moment? Yeah, I could get behind that. Nice choice. Me, I’d go the other direction and go for telepathy. And while I’d love to be a hero, the power to read thoughts and influence people would be really tough to use solely for good!

As for what I’m taking away from all this? I think I have a better understanding of who I am and where I’ve come from. There are influences that we carry with us every day that we don’t consciously acknowledge. Certainly not on a day-to-day basis. Heck, some of the most significant moments in our lives might even be forgotten as time marches on, even if the paths they set us on helped form core parts of our personality.

Some of your questions have made me reflect on aspects of my past that helped shape me into the person that I am today. Having time for that kind of self-reflection becomes rare as people get older and get preoccupied with the realities of adulthood. I’m really grateful you gave me the opportunity - and a reason - to do it.

Wow…  I am really touched that this actually had a moment of introspection for you. As a blogger, if I can get someone to look within themselves and get something out of it, I am ecstatic.

So, after all the introspection Question 20: What is next? Be as concrete or as philosophical as you want.

What’s next? In a word, “Fatherhood.” That great, unknown adventure awaits me in less than three months!

I’m told that everything will change, and nothing compares to the experience, so the entire prospect is both exciting and a little bit scary. I’m also told that nothing can prepare you for it, so I’ve pretty much surrendered to the fact that I won’t be ready for whatever happens. There’s a certain serenity in that powerlessness, once you accept it. So I’ll be playing things by ear, just like every other new dad in the history of the world.

That’s really my style, anyway. I try to take each day as it comes, letting the story unfold as it will. Much as I’d love to read ahead, nobody can say for sure what’s going to happen in the next chapter until it’s here. We’ll all just have to wait and see…

Thanks again for the chance to reveal a bit of the man behind my masks. I’m sure that even my closest friends have learned a few new things about me, and it was great being able to share with everyone here. Cheers!

And with that we have 20 Questions.  I want to thank Brian for being so persevering in doing these 20 questions.  It spanned a long time and required a ton of effort.

To recap:

My 4 year old becomes my 5 year old next week… what the what?!?!

My wife and I have been consuming the Marvel movies lately so we can be ready for S.H.I.E.L.D. this fall with Agent Coulson

Clark Gregg is the best

Remember that time that I asked him 10 questions?

Yeah, that was cool

This month is going to be a rough one

There may be some dropped 20 Q’s along the way

That’s how life rolls, yo!

I am just now up to 40 hours of Vacation accrual at work

… aaaaand I have a week long vacation coming up

Just in time to deplete the account again

Wasn’t one of the reasons to take a state job the amazing amounts of vacation accrual?

Have a great weekend everyone!


image

20 Questions Tuesday: 245 - Unseasonable Weather

This weekend was a bit chilly… chilly for Mothers’ Day?  WTF?!??! It was stupid chilly this weekend… I was mowing our decidedly thick grass wearing a long sleeve shirt and pantaloons… not really pantaloons, but I would have worn them if I could have.  That made me think of all the different times I have encountered unseasonable weather… ergo, this week the topic of questions is “Unseasonable Weather.”

Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Newbold, Dr B Dawg, Lsig, My Wife, and Some Other Guy.

Onto the questions!

1. I remember back in the dead of winter (early Feb.) in ‘85 or ‘86 we got a day in the mid to high 70’s. We all blew off school because of it. I think it should be a law in Ohio & PA if the temp goes above 70 in Feb. no school/work. How about it?

I like it, except I would say there needs to be some way of the kids policing themselves, because I would much rather just hang out with my wife on that awesome of a day…  The only problem is I am certain my kids would go all Lord of the Flies… Oh!  Poor Poor Piggy…

 

2. What do you think of Polar Bear clubs? I think they’re nuts … or they don’t have nuts.

These are clubs Viking have to beat polar bears to death with for assured entry into Valhalla, right? If that is the case, I am all for them…  If it is those wackkos who jump into bodies of water when it is significantly below freezing outside, thems folks is crazy.

 

3. What’s your ideal temperature for just being outside?

74 F… 23.33 C… so comfy.

 

4. At what temperature do you say “screw this noise” I’m going inside.

Now? around 20 F or -6.67 C  and on the other end of the spectrum.. 93 F and 33.89 C.

 

5. At what temperature do you say “I don’t care if I look like a redneck” and sit in the kid’s blow up pool.

I am not sure that temperature exists.

 

6. Was the coldest winter you ever spent, a summer in San Fransisco?  Me either.

Coldest winter I ever dealt with was in the beginning of 1993 in Kent, Ohio… It got crazy cold that Feb.  -20 to -30 F or -28.89 to -34.44 C.  Summers in San Fran are mild like white cheddar.

 

7. It once snowed 17 inches in April in WV can you top that?

8 inches in Ala.Fuckin.Bama.  400 miles south of WV, Bama doesn’t get as much snow as West By Gawd Virginia, so it is more remarkable. 

 

8. Also I’ve had more than one spring break feature snow, you?

Yes, one spring break, actually my senior year in high school, my mom made me go to Kent, Ohio to visit family.  WOOO-HOOO Spring Break Babay! anyhoo… why taking a tour of Kent State it snowed.

 

9. Do you prefer hot chocolate or chocolate milk?

Hot chocolate.  Chocolate Milk is nasty.

 

10. What causes the one-hit wonder? At the moment, I’m thinking of Nelly discussing how hot it is. Now??? Did he lose his mojo, was is it a deal with devil, rich enough from just one song?

I think you forget the seminal anthem which rang with the “shimmy shimmy cocopuffs.” Nelly was a legitimate 2 hit wonder. One-Hit wonders are all about cultural zeitgeist and grabbing that fleeting attention.  Think of Psy’s Gangam Style in the US.  Psy is not going to do anything else in the US ever.  Lightning in the bottle.

 

11. Can we give a shout out to sublimation?

Boom instantaneous double phase shift for the win!

 

12. Would you rather be the human torch or iceman?

Ice Man… for two words:  Snow Cones, BOOOM!

 

13. Which is worse, Texas hot or Ohio cold?

Texas Hot.  I would say that If Ohio Cold dipped into the -30’s F (-34’s C) regularly I might have to re-evaluate.

 

14. Making sure the kids are appropriately dressed is a challenge on a normal day - what is your biggest kid-dressing hurdle in unseasonable weather? (At my house it is always shoes).

For Little Man, it is wearing a warm enough shirt.  He really likes these lightweight tech fabric shirts that just do not keep him warm enough.  For Q it is socks.  That little girl hates socks.

 

15.  What is the absolute latest date that snow is acceptable in the spring?

April 28th.

 

16.  Does unseasonable weather cause spikes in the birthrate like power outages?

Not that I know of, but it may cause more infanticide as the parents, who are used to kicking the kids out to play outside.  I am sure that child death caused by parental reaction of cabin fever is a defensible stance in court.

 

17.  Is there such a thing as unseasonable Fall weather in Ohio? Isn’t everything sort of fair game in the Fall there?

All is fair in Fall and War.image

 

18.  If you could season weather, what would you season it with?

Coriander or pepper or salt

 

19.  I wonder if there is any seasonable weather in winter, it seems like an oxymoron?

I kind of like the cold.  I cannot help it if you cannot retain your heat.

 

20.  You know a thing or two about the summer solstice, it being your birthday and all, what was the most unseasonable weather you have encountered on the first day of summer?

The worst has been that it was only in the upper 70’s instead of the upper 80’s.


To Recap:

Today I am driving all over Southwest Ohio…

Jealous?

It is going to bite

At least the weather will be okay

Especially compared to this past weekend

Mothers’ Day was this past weekend

I finished watching Avatar The Last Airbender this weekend on Netflix streaming

It was delightful

The animated series, mind you, not the movie

I refuse to watch the M Night Shyamalan movie

All over Southwest Ohio

I am just sure you are jealous

You just have to be

Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 243 - Potpourri... again

I got such a great response last week when I asked folks for questions that I had 20 waiting for me this week.  This past weekend, Maj McArmypants and his lovely girlfriend stayed with us for the weekend, and we found a restaurant within walking distance.  Woooo-hoooo


Without further ado, thanks to Chris Corrigan, steev, Newbold, and Maj McArmypants.  Let’s just get to it…


1.  What’s the deal with your hate on for gardening?  How do you expect to survive the apocalypse if you can’t even grow a squash?

What I can do and what I dislike doing are vastly different circles in the venn diagram of life.  I don’t like gardening because of the gardening chores surrounding it.


2.  If you were to totally change the subject of your art what would you start drawing?

Well, my art is a bit different from the sketches I do while I am in meetings at work.  The sketches I do are predominantly comic book characters, but part of that has to do with the medium.  I am drawing small sketches without any studies on notecards.  That typically limits itself to single characters that are oddly cropped.  My “art,” which admittedly, I have not done much of recently really is more eclectic.  


3.  What’s missing in your life?

Professional contentment


4.  What do you have in your life that everyone should have?

An awesome support system filled with love and generosity headed by a love that knows no bounds.


5.  OH-?

ugh… I-O


6.  Have you ever seen or even believe in ghosts?

Yup, but that is a tale for another time


7. What’s your favorite Disney movie?

Tron… but not the second one, it’s pacing and use of the users was pitiful.


8. Who is the most underrated Star Wars character?

Nien Nunb


9. You may have seen those Febreze commercials where they put a stick-up thingy in a stinky place. Do you think they would do any good in the event of a zombie apacolypse?

Nope, Zombies are attracted to vibrations not smell…  They are, in effect, the T-Rex in Jurassic Park


10. When you put toilet paper on the roller does it go over or under?

Yes…  It goes over or under pending on how I put it there.  It is a random assemblage for me.


11.  What’s your biggest failure?

A moment on the evening of my 19th birthday… that being said, I would not be the person I am today without that event occurring… was that cryptic enough?


12.  What’s your biggest success?

My family.  It has been work, but it has been well worth it


13.  If family/pets are safe, what do you go into the burning house to get?

My cpu and a back-up hard-drive… It has many a picture on them.


14.  What motivates you?

Sadly, “fear.”  I am trying to change that to “excitement.”


15.  100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck, pick one to fight and say why.

100 duck-sized horses.  I feel I could take some of those with me, while I would not be able to do much to the horse-sized duck… that bastard can fly.


16. Define time.

The perceived propagation of moments forward and backward.


17.  Ever consider getting back into fencing?

Nope… wanna buy a watch?


18.  Read anything good lately?

I had to read The Cuckoo’s Egg by Cliff Stoll.  It wasn’t bad.  It is about a hacker getting surprisingly far into computer systems in the mid 1980’s.  I was surprised at how connected stuff was in 1986.


19.  So Tax Day has come and gone, it never felt more like a shake down.  Your thoughts? (To be clear I do not oppose an increase in taxes in exchange for reducing gov. expenditures.)

Taxes hurt this year, they hurt real bad… anyone wanna buy a sketch for $10?  Contact me and we can figure out how to do it.


20.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

Repeat…


21.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

The guy called Repeat…


22.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

You know who it was.  It was Repeat…


23.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

Sweet Mother of God and All that is Holy, this isn’t funny.  You know it was Repeat who….


24.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

ugh… Repeat


25.  Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.  Pete fell off who stayed on?

Not Pete.


To recap:

It was good to see Maj McArmypants

We ate like kings

Big, fat, gluttonous kings

I was not glutenous though

I would have been if we had gone to this one pizza place

I can put up with the bloat for a day and a half for that pizza

Here is the Thor I drew yesterday


He’s Thortastic

I am not feeling Thortastic today

Today I feel just a little off

For one of my classes I need to do “paid political ads” for and against SSD’s and HDD’s

Just feeling a bit under the weather… the gorgeous, gorgeous weather

Have a great weekend everyone




20 Questions Tuesday: 242 - Potpouri Free-for-All

image

So today I could not think of a good topic so, I went with Potpourri…  This is a free for all, any of the people who ask me questions can ask me anything… woo hoo!  After a weekend of boatloads of homework and house cleaning, it is time for some questions!

 

Thanks this week go to: Lord Pithy, JHP, the Wife, and Chris Ring… I got questions from a bunch of other people as well and will save them for next week.

 

On to the questions!

image

1.  Are you a Gleek? Why or why not?

Nope, I cannot and never have been able to get into musicals… the final straw was when it was shown that the show lifted a musical arrangement from a musician I enjoy and did not give compensation or credit for the arrangement.  Jackasses.  

 

2.  If you could recolor the nation’s highways, what color would you choose?

Cobalt Blue

 image

3.  Is vinyl truly final?

Vinyl is final, but brick is where it’s at.

 

4.  I like coffee, and I am always right. Defend your dislike of coffee.

I will use an analogy you will understand, Mr Pithy.  Coffee smells like a warm hug from Colin Farrell, but tastes like tastes like Rowan Atkinson’s bath water… stale and bitter.

 

5.  Do you think people are ready for flying cars?

Most people are technically not ready for cars, much less flying ones.

 

6.  This year’s Super Bowl winner please. I want the point spread too just in case!

Next year is San Francisco’s year, by 7.

 

7.  What makes the Magic Eight Ball so magic?

Ask again later

 

8.  Next big tech innovation? I don’t want to get left out like I did with Google.

MakerBot

 

9.  How would you and the family spend the perfect weekend or vacation morning?

Screw the family, I get to sleep in like everyone should on a vacation/weekend morning… other than that  hiking and just hanging out while someone else cooks.

 

10.  Alien autopsy real or not?

Most definitely not real.

 

11.  If you has to guess, what are the future careers of our children?

Little Man: Engineer, if he has his druthers, a lego Engineer

Miss Q: Something in advertising

 

12.  If you have to guess, what’s your future career?

That is a harder one, because I have lost the ability to dream and think big.  I would love to do something with this User Experience Design education that I am doing right now, because it intrinsically makes sense to me on a cellular level, and I am really good at it.  That being said, something that is more fulfilling than looking at holes in the ground.

 

13.  How can Steak’ums smell so good but taste so bad?

I used to love them as a kid, but I made one just a few weeks ago and the amount of just straight up fat was disturbing.  They smell good because they are steak cooking on a skillet, but they taste like grease.

 image

14.  Please give the mathematical equation for marital happiness.

We can’t just give that secret away.  You and I have worked so hard for it…  I will give one of the variables and a coefficient though, and maybe someone can backwards engineer it.  Entropy and the number 7.  Get at it math nerds!

 

15.  What’s going on in the car of someone who buys a hanging air freshened?

Lots and lots of beans consumed, processed , and waste product released.

 

16.  What is man’s greatest invention?

Fire starting kits… they have evolved over the millennia but

 

17.  If you had to flee the country, where would you choose to live?

Canada… I have friends there.

 

18. All superheroes & villains put in a giant thunderdome, who comes out victorious?

The Atom… He goes sub-atomic and waits it out, and then takes down who ever did “win” while they are exhausted from a crazy donny-brook.

 

19.  When does 1+1 not equal 2?

In a binary number system.  1 + 1 = 10 in binary

 

20.  What goes up but never comes down?

Your age.. not mine, mind you, I have plateaued.

 

To recap:

This Boston stuff sucks

Really that is about the extent of it

The wife is pretty messed up about this because she is a runner

I am pretty messed up about this because my wife is a runner

This weekend was crazy busy

I have significantly less homework to do this week

I am back down to a single class for the rest of the semester

But I am kicking ass and taking names in the course right now

That makes me happy

Everyone hug a loved one today

If you are not in the same town as that loved one, get word to them that you are hugging them from afar

But not you stalker people, you people just need to walk away and leave your targets alone

Stalkers… sheesh, always with the inappropriate desire to hug… and potentially capture and preserve in amber

Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 241 - Changing Seasons


This weekend was the first truly beautiful weekend that was not followed immediately by snow and ice. In fact, this week has held up as being pretty good weather as well… I think we may have turned the corner.  It may, in fact, be spring now.  So, I feel it appropriate to have today’s topic be “Changing Seasons.”


Thanks this week go to themikestand, Nadolny, lsig, and some other guy.  On to the questions!


1. What signals the “change of seasons” for you Ohioans? When I lived in the prairies, winter ended when it stopped snowing, the sun came out and melted away all the snow and it got warm. On the coast, it rains until what snow we may have melts, and until everyone grows mold, and then the sun comes out in June and dries us up.

Ohio is in the confluence of 3 major weather systems in North America.  So for us, weather changes rapidly and often with little warning.  For me and other denizens of Ohio to consider a season change, it requires about a solid week of consistent weather.

2.  What is your favourite song featuring the word “season” in any of its forms?

Anything by Salt-n-Pepa… Fun fact, my favorite of Salt-n-Pepa was Spindarella.

3.  Has outdoor soccer started yet, or is all spring soccer on artificial turf?

Yep, it just started around here for kids.  Little Man is not part of it.  He does not seem all that excited about playing soccer.

4.  How do you feel about Daylight Saving Time being changed to include six more weeks of daylight? Would you just prefer to do away with DST altogether?

One of my friends, often times a person who sends me questions on the regular, the affable Lord Pithy, has posited the question of why not just bump the clocks by 30 minutes and leave it there year long?  He is a sweet man who is meant for pretty more than smart, but he speaks sooth.

5.  Do you have seasonal flooding with the spring thaw in your area? (not a euphemism)

Nope, although I wish the question had been euphemistic… a whole bunch. (answer would still be “no.”)

6.  Do you guys garden? What do you grow?

We would like to, but we have a deer problem and they eat everything under the sun

7. Favorite seasoning? Why?

Salt, it is very versatile.  It is a flavor enhancer.

8. Why does a young mans fancy turn to love in the Spring?

I think it is because things that young men fancy start wearing less in the Spring.

9.   ”Seasons Change” by Expose. Thumbs up or down on this late 80’s classic?

That song was horrible… even for the 80’s.

10.  Nice weather < or > spring allergies?

Nice weather > spring allergies… greater health through chemistry… antihistamines for the win.

11.  What one thing makes you think, “Ah-ha, now it is summer”?

When the light changes from a soft buttery yellow into a strong gold color in the early afternoon.

12.  Same question, but for Fall

Turning leaves, but not the crappy wine.

13.  Which is your favorite Ohio season? (Mine is “football”)

Wintmer.  It is the unseasonably warm weekend we get every January.

14.  How do you season a cast iron frying pan?

Never use soap.  

To season a pan, preheat your oven to 300°F (150°C).  Preheat the pan on the stove top.  When warm, coat the inside surfaces of the pan with vegetable oil or lard.  I prefer vegetable oil for its higher smoke point, although some people claim that it leaves a sticky finish.  Continue to heat just until you see ripples appear on the surface of the oil.  At this point, pour off any excess oil, give it a quick wipe with a folded paper towel held in a pair of kitchen tongs, and then put the pan into the oven for 45 to 60 minutes.  Remove the pan from the oven and allow it to cool to room temperature.*

15.  Is there a seasoning you cannot stand?

Corriander… it knows why

16.  Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme?

Nope, not going to Scarborough Fair.  You are gonna have to get there yourself, mate.

17.  How many seasons should there be?

8, there should be shorter transitional seasons between the big 4.  That way the kids would not be pissed when it is still cold on the first day of spring, or when it is seriously cold before it is the first day of winter… Northern Hemisphere only.  These mini-transitional-seasons should be called “when my sinuses are effed-up.”

18.  Equinox or Solstice?

Solstice, baby!  Especially Summer Solstice FTW.  Equinoxes can suck it.

19.  Why does the Earth have seasons?

It has to do with the tilt of the earth’s axis and the angle of incidence for sunlight hitting the surface of the planet… or maybe it is because people who live in LA really need something to make themselves feel better about living in a smog filled snarled road rage hole, and only having 1 really nice season all year round allows them to feel better.

20.  When is Snake Season in Australia?

What. The. Fuck?!?!  There is a snake season?  Holy shitballs, Captain Amazing!  There is a season for snakes?  That is the worst thing I have heard ever.


To recap:

Woooo-Hoooo nice weather is here again!

This week is the last week of double classes this semester

I only have 17 things to do this week for school

The wife is out until tomorrow morning

So tonight we are having fauxsagna

Just like lasagna but with garden rotini instead of lasagna noodles

So…. nothing like lasagna

I can’t have any of it due to the whole gluten thing I am dealing with

Did I mention I am off of caffiene for a few weeks now?

Oh, God, I miss Mt Dew

Soooo, tired of salads with grilled chicken

so, so tired of it

Have a great weekend everyone



*from here


20 Questions Tuesday: 240 - April Fool's Day and its Aftermath

image

Yesterday was April Fool’s Day and many people made a fool out of themselves with the retweetings and facebookings of bogus stories.  I like it when the powers that be make it completely clear that the April Fool’s “joke” is something bogus. Google seems to do this very well, with maps.google.come/treasure and Google Nose.  Well played multi-billion dollar company, well played.  My workplace we without any “pranks” yesterday and that is how I like it.  Anyway… the aftermath of April Fool’s Day leaves many a crushed and broken body in its wake, so the topic for today’s 20 Questions is “April Fool’s Day and its Aftermath.”


Thanks this week go to:  K, Chris Ring, Ralph Harbison, Chris Corrigan and some other guy.  Let’s get to the questions… “Let’s?!?” Really?  It is just me here, what the hell is going on in my head?


1.  Has there ever been an April Fool’s prank as good as the Taco Bell Liberty Bell ? Little known fact*  The Piltdown Man hoax started out as an April Fool’s Day prank and rapidly got out of hand.  It ended in the demise of the careers of prominent anthropologists as well as the life of a East London Pauper…. Don’t ask.  Let’s just say it was a big messy thing…

2.  Seriously, shouldn’t everyone give up on this for a while?  I mean, it’s been a long time since 1996 and not one person or corporation has topped the TBLB. In 1996 it took more effort to pull off a great prank.  Now, all you need is a good idea and a web designer.  No prank could work as well as the Taco Bell Liberty Bell because that one ushered in the new sophistication of pranks, and now everything announced on the 1st of April is suspect… albeit sometimes true… Gmail comes to mind as an April 1st product launch that was not a hoax.

3.  What would have been the theological implications if April Fool’s day was yesterday? I imagine it would play out 1 of 2 ways… and only 1 of those 2… No other ways whatsoever..

Way the first: Jesus would make himself visible to everyone and say, “Just kiddin Ya’ll.  I never died or ascended into heaven.  I’ve been here all along.  I’ve just been out of circulation writin the Great American Novel.  Woooo!  God’s Awesome!”**

Way the second: People would come to the conclusion that all organized religion is a farce of “biblical” proportions and then society would crumble under the weight of the disillusioned and now remarkably apathetic newly atheists.

4.  Where did April Fool’s day come from? Yeah, I could Google it but I deciding to Scoottle it. It is nebulous at best as to where it comes from, but the best bet in the Italian, French and Belgian April Fish Day where people would pin paper fish onto unsuspecting people’s backs and say “April Fish.”  

5. I recently had a joke go very bad, ever have a joke go really bad? Oh, all the time… not so much bad as just fall flat.  I don’t really try and prank people as much as tell teh funny.

6. Is it still easy to fool people on April 1st or is everyone on guard? Nope, it is now an attempt to amuse people with ridiculous pranks

7. Best April Fool’s joke you played?I haven’t really played any April Fool’s Day pranks.  It really isn’t my bag.

8. Worst April Fool’s joke played on you? Last year, my lovely wife sent me a text saying she was pregnant. Yeah, that didn’t go over as well as she had hoped.

9.   Didn’t the Groundhog already trick enough people? Clearly not enough.

10.  IS this the favorite day of politicians since any lie can be covered with “April fools?” If and only if the politician says something radically different from their typical positions.  April Fool’s Day pranks should not be about the subtle, and anyone who tries to cover up a gaff should realize that the gaff needs to be monumental and waaaay off message for people to believe an April Fool’s Day excuse.

11.  How long is acceptable to seek revenge on a prank? 1 year.  You get 1 year.

12.  Why isn’t busting someone in the mouth after a prank acceptable? Depends on the prank.

13.  Why is there no opt out on this? I would LOVE an opt out on this.  Like wearing a black shirt says, “Don’t mess with me today.” or something like that… or maybe you could pin a paper fish on your back…

14.  What did you think of the Whitecaps announced retirement of YP Lee, the subsequent revelation that it was an April Fool’s joke and then the sacking of President Bob Lenarduzzi for “unprofessional conduct?”  Talk about your doozy of an April Fool’s aftermath! Since Lee has had a couple of his weaker performances, they would have done better using Cannon as a prank… He seems to be sillier than the good Y P.  As far as the Lenarduzzi news, I cannot find that anywhere.

15.  What is the acceptable way to “get back” at someone who has pinked you on April Fools, and what is the statute of limitations? You have to “get” them the following year, or you can choose to never speak to them again… ever.  Or you can pin  a paper fish on their back and shout “poisson d’Avril!”  That gets everybody.

16.  Shouldn’t there be a dinner associated with April Fool’s Day? Yes, there should be a meal associated with April Fool’s Day.  There should be a meal associated with every holiday.  What other reasons for holidays are there?

17.  What would an April Fool’s Dinner be? Well, everyone would need to lie during the chit-chat and small talk portions of the meal and the meal would consist of foods that looked like other food.  Vegans and vegetarians eating meat and vice versa…. so many people dead from food allergies and anaphylactic reactions… so many dead

18.  Does any good come from April Fool’s day? Yes, many items that ThinkGeek comes up with for April Fool’s Day sometimes make it into market.  For example, the Taun Taun sleeping bag…  Other than ThinkGeek merch…nope.

image


19.  Any clean-up from April Fool’s day for you personally? Well, my little girl played an April Fool’s Day Trick on me.  She said that she could get the ice in her cup, but it turns out her cup was the floor… April Fools!  Now clean up the ice, Papa. ha ha ha ha she knows how to play a prank.

20.  Does it seem to you that April Fool’s Day is now less about individuals playing small pranks on people they know and more about companies and celebrities making PR pranks and humorous attempts? Yup, you got it.




To Recap:

White Chocolate M&M’s… oh God…  the deliciousness

So so delicious

Why hasn’t anyone ever thought about white chocolate with a candy shell before this?

Seriously… Thanks Easter Bunny!

Bach! Bach!

My wife said she had them on a car trip 2 months ago

She said they were amazing

And then we couldn’t find them until Easter week

We all thought she had had a fever dream of deliciousness

She is less crazy and more of an oracle

An oracle of confectionary brilliance

Everything is good here

How about with you?

Check your back for a paper fish

Have a great weekend



*I am making almost all of this up

**Jesus has a US Southern Accent… prove me wrong

20 Questions Tuesday: 239 - Scott St Pierre

image

It is another Ten Ton Studios day up here in the 20 Questions Tuesday-ville.  This week I get the pleasure of chatting with Scott St Pierre a Ten Tonner with a writing bent.  His writing is quirky and loose.  He is not afraid to break the fourth wall and bring the reader into story itself, but recently he has shifted his focus from writing to laser focusing in on photography.  Now if he would only write about his photos and bring us into his pics.

Anyway, Scott is an awesome guy and I have had a few delightful conversations with him.  He is definitely one of the denizens of the Internet that I would love to share a meal in real space.

Scott has recently moved from the east coast to L.A. (I assume to get his tan on), so question 1 will be interesting.  I have my M.A. in geography and love the story of place.  For example, I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  The fam moved to Montgomery, AL and then to Birmingham.  I went to school in Kent, OH, and then moved down to Columbus, OH with my wife where I have been ever since. Question 1:What is your geographic story?

I just googled “”What is your geographic story?” and find it unsettling that in all of googledom you are the only person to ask that question that way before.

I find it more entertaining to view my geographic story as a Family Circus comic strip. Panel 1: As a little kid I say when I’m older I’ll  move to California someday. Panel 2: the dotted line path where Scotty starts in Peabody, MA bounces to Long Island, NY for a couple stops, bounces back to Peabody, MA bounces to Malden, MA then to Bloomfield, NJ, then Morristown NJ, then back to Peabody, MA and currently here in Redondo Beach, CA. It’s weird feeling more at home in a town you’ve never been before than it was living in the town you grew up in. I know It’s only been two weeks but I seriously love it here.

Huh, I have never thought of googling “What is your geographic story?”  That is odd. It seems that you need to have the “What is the” on the statement otherwise you get results concerning “National Geographic Story.”  Anyhoo… Question 2:Why does SoCal feel so much like home, and why did it feel so naturally like home so quickly?

I think it’s because I know the snow will never get me here. It’s like a haven. It’s also been very welcoming. People will smile at you and say “Hi” while walking down the sidewalk. And there are just so many other transplants from other parts of the country here as well. When someone finds out you’ve just moved here there is a glint in their eyes like “Welcome, dude. We’ve been waiting for you.”

Well, I can honestly say that this is absolutely an awesome thing to hear.  Usually I hear how stuffy and stand-offish the SoCal area is, especially the LA area. It really is nice to hear that it is more inclusive in some situations. Question 3:  What exactly brought you finally to the west coast?

My wise-ass answer is “ What exactly brought me here was an airplane.” The answer you were fishing for has more to do with wanting to shut my wife up than anything. Feb 2012 we came out here for vacation, but didn’t want to do any touristy things on purpose. We wanted to get a sort of vibe of normalcy in the area. I was hoping to hate it so we wouldn’t have to move. Usually any trips I take, by day 3 I’m too tired and want to go home, but that just didn’t happen this time. Career wise, for my wife, she’s a stylist. She’s done work for magazines and theater, and music videos so getting into that out here is really the next big step up for her and really I’m just here supporting that. My boss lets me work from home so he’s cool enough to let me live anywhere we want.

I am sending positive energy your way for your wife’s stylist work out in La LA Land.  Question 4: So what creative endeavors are you going to do now that you are in one of the hearts of the entertainment industry?

This is the part I’m jazzed about. Thousands of people come out to Los Angeles to make it happen. Plenty do. Plenty. They might not be famous, or even rich, or even well off but they make it happen. Every day. We decided that we’re going to be one of those people that make it happen. Wake up. Work. Laugh and smile all day and when you get home from work, work some more. Worrying yourself to death does you no good. There are some people that look at a happy successful person and say to themselves “Being successful must be great, look how happy that guy is,” whereas my new outlook is “Being happy is rad…that in itself is successful enough.” It really all harkens back to Douglas Adam’s argument about why Mankind and the Dolphins both thinking they’re the dominant species on Earth for the exact same reason. Have a good time. I don’t think anyone on their deathbed says, “I’m so glad I did all this worrying. It seems really worth it now.” As positive as all that shit sounds, every day my adopted belief system is challenged by my 4 year old son.

On the creative side, I have a photo project involving twinkies that really won’t seem relevant for another 10 years or so, and a lot of that potential success teeters on what actually happens with Hostess’ name and assets and that bajunk. But before that all happens I’m actually going to try my hand had developing my own film. I haven’t done it since High-School but I love still shooting on film whatever can make that more affordable I’m into.

Also, I’m still writing and revising my odd little fiction pieces which is very freeing. Of all the hobbies I’ve ever had it’s the only one I feel terrible about not doing every day. Writers write. If I think I’m a writer and I’m not writing…what am I? I tell myself “I’d be nothing” so that little ditty gets me to plink down some words into some sort of storyish blarb that hopefully will get read and enjoyed by somebody. But I get crazy ideas like joining an amature comedy group getting known as a good comedy writer and then working on a sitcom or something. Who knows. I’d like to have some creative input on some video game storyline or something that would be cool.

Also, Also, creatively I’m thinking of starting a food blog called “Fries of Los Angeles” where I review the french fries and or sweet potato fries of the gajillion restaurants out here. I have this whole thing mapped out in my head where I would wear a fancy white glove during the tasting portion and the last thing I do is delicately pull the glove off, finger by finger, and actually rub the fry with my thumb and forefinger to test it for greasiness. I’d review the long pieces, the short crunch pieces. Rate it on squishyness, dryness, seasoning.

I’ve seriously put way too much thought into it. I’ll probably end up making it just a quirky hobby of a character in a story of mine, but seriously. I don’t eat meat, only just started eating some chicken again so a lot of these places we go out to eat at I usually order Fish and Chips which means I’ve had a lot of fries. Most suck. Crab House on the pier of King Harbor in lower Redondo’s fries were spectacular. I’d give them a 8.9. A perfect 10 would probably have to be from a place Lady Galadriel would eat at.

I am pretty sure Lady Galadriel would not eat French Fries, but instead eat Pomme Frites or some other translation that is terrible and beautiful.  Don’t get me wrong, about the creative thing.  I ask that because I know you are a talented so-and-so.  I love your polaroid work and think you have a real eye for the photos.  I have also rather enjoyed your written work as well.  I would have changed the lead up, but asked the exact same question had you stayed in Peabody.

I know this is stolen from a bit done by Paul F Tompkins, but still, everyone wants to know… Question 5: Cake or Pie?  Which specific kind and why?

I’m lactose intolerant to the point where even some butter sets me running for the outhouse, so if I’m going to try pie, I’ll have to eat around the crust, which stinks because I remember how tasty the bottom of a Brooksby Farm Apple pie can be. Actually, pecan pie was my favorite back in my pie days. As for cake, my Mother-in-law makes this insane chocolate cake from a World War II recipe that has no eggs or milk in it. They were rationing that stuff for the war effort. (with that reasoning I assume there’s no steel, rubber or gasoline in it either?) It’s completely vegan and brain-crazy tasty. So moist you don’t even need frosting. Though recently I took to putting a dab of Peanut Butter on my fork before going into the cake. I capitalize Peanut Butter out of respect. It’s just the best. So the answer is WWII cake for dietary reasons. Are there any good pies that you can put peanut butter on?

It is interesting, you are the first person I have asked this question who has said cake and not say so because of frosting.  Most cake-eaters eat said cake as a frosting delivery system.  As to your level of lactose intolerance?  Wow, that sucks.  That is an extreme level of intolerance… that is a skinhead level of intolerance.  That intolerance makes other people’s lactose intolerance say, “Damn, that is just too intolerant.”  That really is the suckage.  As to your question about peanut butter on a pie?  There is a whole class of peanut butter pies, not to mention using a smooth and creamy peanut butter on a tart apple pie.  

When our oldest was wee, he had some massive food allergies, so we learned how to make most foods without dairy, egg, and soy.  It was rough.  Question 6:What is the hardest part of being so significantly lactose intolerant? ummm.. I am asking for a friend…

A very hard part is going to house parties or family events and not being able to eat 95% of the stuff there. I love the shit out of homemade cookies and can’t eat them. The Trader Joe’s here have vegan chocolate chip cookies which are killer though. That’s something they didn’t offer in our local MA one. They remind me of the Keebler Softbatch from back in the day. Not sure they still make those. I pretty much just turn my eyes away from grocery store snack stuff with the exception of good ole fashioned Oreos, which are more vegan than most red blooded Americans care to admit.

Another hard part, emotionally, is I’m still the pizza maker for my family. My son prefers the pizza I make from the Trader Joe’s dough over every commercially available option we’ve tried, which is great because it saves us so much money, but spending all that time (Okay..so it’s not ALL that much time) making and baking a pizza and not being able to enjoy it stinks. Soy cheese sucks also. I tried rice cheese and though it claimed it was dairy free it had some kind of cheese protein or culture or some weird thing in it and my arms actually broke out in hives.

Also, the beginning of this year I finally made the switch to black coffee. So its been a lot easier when we’re out and about and some ma & pa coffee house doesn’t have soy or something. Soy creamer isn’t good either. The best alternate creamer I’ve tried and loved is So Delicious’s french vanilla coconut creamer, but I drink a lot of coffee so it was getting expensive. So I’m happy to save the money on that front too.

This is off topic, but I just woke up from a dream where I someone got to eat lunch with Adam Sandler and we talked straight up artistic vision type talk. It was a great mature talk and then I went up to go to the bathroom and all these bombs started going off all over downtown L.A. When I came back he was gone, but left a note saying he waited as long as he could, I wasn’t angry, I was gone a seriously long time. He recommended picking up Pearl Jam’s upcoming record, and he’d been catching their tour rehearsals. I wonder if he, in turn, recommended to any of those guys that they read my work or check out my photos.

I think it is interesting that your subconscious chose Adam Sandler as your spirit animal.  That is just plain odd.  You are an odd duck, Mr. StPierre… and odd duck.

The fam still makes you prep pizza as a severely lactose intolerant individual? Cold, man… cold.

Question 7: Fill in the blanks:  I find that i am mostly _______. Others find that I am mostly _____ __.

I find that I am mostly indecisive. I hope that doesn’t translate to non-committal, but seriously, I wish I wasn’t into some things. Photography, writing music, writing fiction, I let my drawing fall a bit by the wayside these past few years but I still doodle and feel the pull to take art more seriously. One week I want to start a band and save rock and roll. Another I’m realizing I’m in my mid-thirties and The Machine doesn’t allow dudes in their mid-thirties to be new rock stars. The writing is something I have to do. The longer I go without writing the more and more I find I absolutely hate myself. So I try to write every day. Photography for me is different. I mean it’s my day job, but it’s so digital and over processed that after a while of doing it for work I needed an escape but I still wanted to shoot, which is why I got back into analog photography. You think it over more. Especially with the polaroid stuff. It’s about $3 a shot on the integral, so  you have to make it count. Anyway, If I was a pro musician, I’d still be writing. if I was a pro writer, I’d still be making music. In high school I used to hope I’d lose a hand so I’d have less options. I’m sure if I could settle on just one thing I’d be Amazing at it rather than just good. And then, occasionally I think with my writing, my music, my photography…that I was giving these talents not to compete with each other for my time, but maybe I’m supposed to be making movies. Where those skills aren’t competing so much, but working together on some sort of production schedule for an end product greater than the individual parts. I’m watching 2001: A Space Odyssey right now and those three basic elements of image/sound/writing is tear jerkingly beautiful. Then I see something sparkly and want to chase parked cars.

Others find that I am mostly weird. I’ve been told that my whole life. Scott’s weird. My wife says she agrees with the indecisiveness. But she’s weird too, only she’s too strikingly beautiful for most people to notice.

Wow, it is clear that you are a writer because you very clearly painted the picture of how your indecisiveness manifests.  You are a Renaissance Man trapped outside of a Renaissance… except this is the Renaissance, or at least one of them.  You and I have had a few digital conversations over the years, so I feel that I am capable of lending my fill-in for your blank… that sounds vaguely dirty… I find you mostly hard to pin down.  I have noticed that you flit around like a little butterfly from task to task.  One moment you are writing the great American novel (something I think you should put more energy into, for you are very talented in the writing space), the next you are a Polaroid photog showing pieces in shows (something else I think you should follow, because you really have a great eye for it), and this was preceded by musical aptitude and other things.  See, we are all seeing the same you, so at least that is something.  It is nice when your image of yourself is congruous with others.  If you want my opinion, and you prolly don’t, other than your fam, the first thought that you wake up with is most likely what you need to chase for the time being.  But this is coming from a guy with a dead end job who wakes up thinking about drawing but goes to a cubicle to look at where holes have been dug in the past.  Just warning you about the advice given. You should write more… I like reading what you write.

Question 8: So, since you have a pretty good idea of who you are, how can you push yourself to be where you want to be? I am in school trying to knowledge up and get out of my current job…

I had to reread that last question a couple times because something about it just didn’t jibe well with me, but then I realized it said “pretty good idea…” of who I am. Which I think is about right. And you’re right. Who I am is pretty much what I see in the mirror. Though right now I do think I’m a cancer patient due to the giant tumor like zit hanging off my neck. I can take a picture for the website if you like.

The best way to get my ass to that next level, which I’ve been talking with my wife about lately, is I think to really just do the work. Writers write. They sit down and do it on good days. They sit down and do it on bad days. I used to worry and say “What if it isn’t good?” but I don’t any more. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or not, because there are people out there who aren’t as good as you getting paid a professional rate to do what you love, and the reason that’s going on is because they’re the ones sitting down doing it. They’re making it happen.

It’s like the “talent” isn’t in the subject matter they’re writing about, or how many great influences you can pull from someone’s writing style. The “talent” is being able to cement your ass everyday somewhere and get the shit from your head onto some sort of thing that someone else can read and preferably enjoy, whether the end product is a photo-copied stapled short storybooklet (sold about 30 copies of my whale story that way) or 20+ seasons of an evening sitcom. My favorite Neil Gaiman quote is about writing, "This is how you do it: you sit down at your keyboard and you put one word after another until it’s done. It’s that easy, and that hard." The “…and that hard,” part is the clincher for me.

The danger of hitting next level is,(okay, maybe this is like 5-10 levels above MY next level,) and I’ve thought a lot about this too and I hope I’m wrong with this theory, is that in order to be really successful a big part of you has to be saying, “Fuck everyone else,” about 90% of the time. I think there is a reason there are so many divorced rock-stars, movie stars and whatever. It’s as if the great way of thinking that has helped them to hyper-focus on their talent to get them to the level of success they’re enjoying is absolutely no help when it comes to having the ability to able to give yourself up for someone else’s happiness. When my wife and I were dating I came up with a saying, “I’ll always give you the new donut.” That means no matter how bad things get whatever money we have to scrape up to feed ourselves, I’d buy her the new donut and I’ll go fish something out of the garbage behind the donut shop. I think the level of thinking required to get me to that next level might be to think that the new donut is finishing what work I’ve started. Shipping it. Getting it done and in front of people and that maybe many more people than just my wife need that new donut. So it’s time to bust ass cuz there’s a lot of people hungry out there for the manna of St. Pierre.

What is it that people say?  “Writers be writin.”  So I know you from a comic book art website that has churned out many newly established heavy hitters in the comic book art community and many up and comers who are hitting comics hard.  So, you clearly love yourself some comic books.  Question 9:Who is your guy?  What superhero do you consider your superhero?  Growing up for me it was Captain America and then Cyclops from the X-Men.  Who you got?

Ten Ton Studios is the second closest I’ve ever been to having real brothers. It’s a hit machine that has proven over and over if you work your ass off and don’t turn into a whiney bitch when someone critiques your work, you will get a job. My guy has always been Wolverine. I was always the short kid in class growing up. I’m 5’ 3” and remember those Impel Marvel trading cards from the late 80’s I think it was? I used to collect my paper route money on Saturdays and walk down to the Peabody Square Smoke Shop. (I know it sounds shady, and it probably was/is, but it was one of two places that sold comic books that weren’t all beat to crap on a spinner rack) and buy those trading cards. On the back they had the stats of the character and I loved that Wolverine was this short guy, but it totally didn’t define him. I wasn’t really made fun of, but when you’re one of the shortest you quickly realize the advantages of being a taller person. Now in my mid thirties I shave my head because of male pattern baldness. I’m not going to take pills for it because what use is having hair if my wang doesn’t work? But that’s also why I try to stay in shape, because being short bald and fat is a dealbreaker in 93% of any situation. It’s true. I did a survey. But yeah, Wolverine was short and he didn’t take shit from anybody. Batman was second. I just liked climbing and jumping off of things. Still do, but my knees…ya know. I like your choices. Those two guys are both leaderly Boy Scout types. I wonder what that says about us as people?

You cut me to the quick… gah.  I hadn’t realized how milquetoast those 2 are until you mentioned it just now.  I am not sure who would be my guy now if I were a kid.  I loved the Wolverine of the Chris Clermont days… the days before he was in every Marvel book ever.  He seems like a caricature of himself right now.  He used to be the best there was at what he did, and what he did was not pretty.  Anyhoo… I can see the identification with Wolverine.  He had a nebulous past (that should have stayed nebulous) and was a classic anti-hero.  He did the stuff others weren’t capable… nay willing to do!  It was nice when he wasn’t overexposed.

Question 10:What character is your dream writing job, and what is the crazy plot-line that you would inject into his story? I would reboot Heros for Hire with Iron Fist and Powerman (none of this Luck Cage stuff) and have them sub-contract out to others as needed. Hilarity or deep stories ensue.

I never read any of that old team up stuff, but have been wanting to. Long ago I had this epic cross-over idea called Gene-shift. Basically, one day all the mutants in the marvel universe woke up with someone else’s powers. I thought it would be cool to see how it would change the character of those characters. Like, what if Wolverine’s got switched with Speedball’s or something. As far as dream writing gig for comics, I like taking a stab at Excalibur. I’ve always liked a lot of humor in my comics. I’ve been a huge Tick fan since 6th grade, which was before I was even into X-men comics. Not sure what I would bring to the table as far as fresh ideas but with the Tick it’s such a great concept. A jar of mustard could become sentient for no explainable reason and mate with giant redwood and I don’t know if redwood’s drop acorns or what, but there’s a rain of mustard seed redwood hybrids attacking Northern California. There’s your villain. That stuff writes itself.

Boy howdy, that does write itself. It seems that the humor books consistently run below the radar in the mainstream.  Question 11: What needs to happen to get humorous books a la the Tick to really have staying power in the in the cultural zeitgeist? The Tick cartoon only lasted 2 seasons… and it was brilliant… Why is that, do you think?

I wish I knew. I think with comics, as fans, some people are coping with mainstream society already being against them, just because they’re reading comics in the first place that they at least want to be taken seriously doing it. Hopefully that’s shifting, I don’t know. I always loved the funnier stuff. Bloom County was a big one for me when I was way younger. I remember getting pissed off at this kid in 7th grade over it. I asked him if he read it and he said “No, I don’t read political cartoons.” and I was offended by that, being of a lower middle class (or were it upper lower class? Might be lower lower for all I know. I was a kid at the time and very busy having fun being one.) I took offense that anyone would think I was into something so intellectual as political cartoons. But from first finding the X-Men when I was younger I found John Byrne’s She-Hulk who was this amazing babe and I thought her book was hilarious. More recently Nextwave from Marvel was one of the best books they put out in my adult life and that got cancelled relatively quickly too. Which I don’t get because practically everyone I knew loved it.

I wish I knew as well. Sadly, the Tick live action show was really fun as well, but it did not even make it a season.  I find it interesting that within the comic book community there are humorous titles that are lauded and loved by everyone, but they have no traction in the mainstream entertainment.

So, I am currently in the process of removing gluten from my diet to see if that helps me feel better, so I am seriously craving some glutenous food… especially donuts…  Question 12: You have a dozen donuts to buy, what is your mix of donuts?  I will reveal my favorite dozen after your answer.

I wish, for just this once I could give you a straight answer, but I actually have a story about my late grand-mother here. So, I don’t remember the occasion, but my grand-mother took my friend Christian and I out for dinner one night at this fancy hotel. We were teenagers, maybe 16 or 17. We got to talking about our first real jobs which were both at Dunkin Donuts. My grand-mother told me with the straightest not-a-hint-of-bullshit face that she too used to work at a donut shop and that when she was 14 she used to go to work after school and in the donut kitchen one day she…brace yourself, she invented the Boston Creme donut. Now in my relationship with my grand-parents my grand-father was the family bullshit artist, and as far as I’m concerned my the only lie my grand-mother ever told was when she was 15 she told an enlisted man she was 18…yadda yadda yadda. I absolutely refuse to research it for fear that she was untruthful, but yeah.

Okay, so I have a dozen to work with? Let’s pretend milk/whey isn’t a factor here. I’d take 2 Boston Creme. 2 Maple frosted. 3 Blueberry Cake, 1 Strawberry Frosted, and 4 Honey Glazed, but not Dunkin Donuts honey glazed, Krispy Kreme’s. I’ve not tried any of these other flavors from Krispy Kreme, but we just went last week and the girl checked with her boss and said the plain glazed don’t have milk and while I was still skeptical I had 0 issues and must have eaten at least 5 from the dozen we bought.

I am clearly torturing myself here, but my dozen goes as follows: 4 Krispy Kreme glazed, they must be “Hot Fresh Now” and immediately consumed. 2 Krispy Kreme cream-filled donuts.  2 Tim Horton’s crullers. 2 Maple Frosted and 2 vanilla frosted from Dunkin Donuts .  There is my dozen…. of which I cannot partake right now.  I am so flipping hungry.  It is a great thing that you can have Krispy Kreme glazed donuts.  If you have not gotten them from the store when the”Hot, Fresh, Now” light is on, you need to.  It will change your world.

Unlucky Question 13: do you have any superstitions or rituals? Superstitions such as don’t put your hat on the bed, salt over the shoulder, etc… Rituals are more nebulous.  For example, (and this is the example I always use) I used to get ready for soccer games with a very specific sequence of putting on the uniform… Not because I felt it lucky as much as it was a way to get me in the “right” state of mind for a game.  

Is hats on the bed a real superstition? Jesus…no wonder my life’s in shambles. You want to hear a real superstition? A Bonafide guarantee? I don’t pay attention to sports much these days, but I am almost willing to put lots of money on this, the Red Sox will win the World Series this year. Why? Because every time I move away from home that’s what they do. 2004, moved to NY. Win. 2006 moved to NJ, we moved after the halfway point so it doesn’t count (Cuz I say it doesn’t) but in 2007, first full season away, Win. So a definite win this year. Anyone reading this who puts money down and wins, can you send me like, an apple store gift card or something? Thanks.

As for personal rituals for writing or other stuff…I don’t think I have any any more. When I was 18 I used to wear this certain terrible paper hat when I was drawing. Like a line cook hat or something. Also, had to start my inking sessions off with Side 2 of Abbey Road on Vinyl. And it wasn’t vinyl because I was trying to be cool and retro. It was Vinyl because I knew to stay the fuck away from my Dad’s then complicated 300 carousel CD player, there was no way to copy CD’s then and why buy my own copy on CD or cassette when I already had it on 12”? Still have that record.

When I was playing in a band I had this little wooden sea fisherman named Captain Bob who had to be on the left side of my guitar amp facing backwards. That way it looked like he was pissing. At first I started that because I like to see a pissing fisherman while I played music, but you know, you start getting better and the musical output gets better feeling you get so you depend on that pissing captain.

Maybe I need some good ones, but right now my ritual is, if I want to get anything useful/important done…wait till my 4 year old is not around. Anything accomplished while he is around is considered an act of God.

Amen, Brother.  Getting shit done with kids in the house is nigh impossible.  The “Hat on the bed” thing” has to do with country clergy coming to houses to give last rites.  The padre enters the home and hat in hand proceeds to the bedroom where the dying lays on the bed.  He places the hat at the foot of the bed and moves to the head of the bed to administer last rites.  Ergo the bad tidings with a hat on the bed.  

Sounds like Captain Bob needs to watch you write.

Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of.  I chose Vampire Bear (theursine variety, not a hairy gay dude). Question 14: What would you be most afraid of? especially in a dark alley…

Maybe being on the Andy Dufresne end of a murder trial or something. Maybe being on the wrong end of a gun pointed at me from a person who has absolutely nothing to lose. I’d hate to get to the pearly gates after a life of thinking I’ve been a pretty decent person and then not let in. That would blow. I once said I hope every member of the Foo-Fighters dies before me so that they can play my intro music when I get to Heaven. That’s how much I’m looking forward to that, and to lose it…fuck. That’d be terrible.

I’m also recently terrified of white rice. It does things to my throat where it like paralyzes my swallowing muscles and foot gets backed up in my throat…but past the point where my breathing hole thing is, so it’s like I’m choking but can still breath perfectly fine. My last episode was just the other night and by far the worst worst worst. Scared me off the stuff for good.

That rice thing is scary indeed.  It is rare that you would have a reaction to rice.  To tell the truth, I do not think I would like to meet anything/anyone in a dark alley, vampire bear or not.  Number 1: I have already done something wrong if I am in a dark alley to begin with.  Number 2: If something/someone is in that dark alley, they are up to no good.  

Question 15:  Are you going to be able to attend any conventions this year?  If so, which ones?

No idea yet. WonderCon is in a few weeks in Anaheim, but I’m going to miss it. The last few times I’ve been to a convention I don’t think I bought anything. For me they started becoming all about “No that’s too expensive,” and then “where am I going to put this stuff?” and then eventually “why am I here?” It was always great seeing friends and meeting people in person that I’ve only ever talked to on some forum, but then the ones with real industry jobs got too busy doing their thing. And they’re amazing at their thing. And then it’s like dropping by a buddies office when they’re brilliantly busy. Starts feeling weird. I also hate long lines, so the uber stars aren’t a big draw for me.

Also, some of the smells at comic cons are terrible. Some cologne company would be smart to be a sponsor. Maybe Listerine as well.

I think that soap and shampoo would be better to sponsor than cologne, for there are many people there who are large and unwashed.  There is a geek/nerd convention funk that is pretty strong for some of these.  I go to a few local small cons and then to a gaming con, and there are some folk who have some hygienic issues to be sure.  I completely agree about the long lines to see the big guns.  I dislike lines, and I dislike people.  Combine standing in line with people to see people and you have a non-starter for me.

Question 16: Do you have any absolute non-starters in your life? X + Y = no Scott St Pierre?

Cocaine + Orgy, cats + milk, cigarettes + star wars droids.   I’m trying to think. I know like heroin and coke and meth and stuff is hopefully a given. Super duper hot sauces aren’t any fun for me and definitely fall into the “Awe, hell no” category. But seriously, a paycheck is a paycheck. You never know what you might have to do in life.

I think for me, other than people and lines, it would be peppers and now gluten.  I ate some potato chips that did not reference any wheat products last night and I have felt horrid all day.  I look at the website and the brand and type IS NOT considered gluten free just because of potential cross contamination.  That being said, I went to a gluten-free bakery today and ate a delightful cupcake.  I wish it were a donut… or even a doughnut (the donut’s uppity cousin).

Question 17: Is there something that you expected me to ask that I have not?

When Kim Kardashian announced she was pregnant I immediately went public saying I wasn’t the father. For those who missed my announcement, I want to reiterate that. Also, if Taylor Swift or Gaga or Jennifer Lawrence or Olivia Wilde or Kate Upton, really if any of those girls get pregnant I didn’t do that either. Really I’m just trying to feed this interview some good keywords to up it in a web search. Let me get obscure here and find some good random Japanese bikini model…Aki Hoshino. Wow. Japan rules. lol. For the record I didn’t take it off of moderate setting in my google image search, so buyer beware of some images from her. Who knows what she’s been up to. Hopefully good things. Seriously though, I know our friend Jason Baroody would be let down if I didn’t mention some kind of busty asian girl in this interview. I don’t know why he’d be let down, I just get the feeling he would be.

Good way to bump up the SEO on this site.  I hadn’t thought of sprinkling in random buzz word celeb names.  You, sir, are a genius and a bit of a cad.

Turnabout is fair play so… Question 18: Do you have any questions for me?

I’m watching “Up” with my son right now and it’s the beginning of the movie just after Mr Fredrickson’s wife, Ellie, passes away. I was surprised to find that it can still move me to  tears. Just a few, but tears, nonetheless. What was the last movie that pushed you far enough to get some dancing down your face? And did you find yourself surprisingly more susceptible to that sort of thing after you became a father?

Hmmm… I am having trouble coming up with a recent movie that has brought me to tears.  However, I was reduced to manly father tears when watching the opening scene of Up.  I have found myself tearing up at the annoying moving poignant videos that people either post on the Facebooks and news sites.  I can definitely say that the emotions have changed once we had the babies.  Even in fictional stories, I recognize that all the characters in stories, both good and bad have family and most likely someone who loves them.  Sadly, I have lost a bit of my stone heart.  I miss the stone.

Question 19: What are you taking with you from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

I’m looking back at all my answers and realize I have short stories that have less words in them.

You were wonderfully thorough and fanciful in your answers, and I have to say that I am quite happy to have been able to spend this much time with you chatting.  this has been great.

Question 20: What’s next?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.  Focus as short term or as long term as you want.

Some readers may not know that these questions were answered (and asked!) over the course of a couple weeks now. My opinions can shift a bit in that amount of time. Reading back I can tell when I was being silly but truthful, and or serious but over-dramatic. Some of this might belong in question 19, but I think the real take-away is I want to work hard. It doesn’t mean I have been, or even will be, but the want part is there—No. I take that back. I will work hard. I came across a cool quote over this past weekend. I don’t think I’m saying it exactly as I saw it, but it does the job. “Talent without hard work is useless.” That pretty much sums up my entire life. I‘ve had more than a few friends whom I’ve wanted to scrawl that saying onto a baseball bat and beat them over the skull with it, but it’s really time to turn the bat on myself here.

We drove up to Cupertino this past weekend for a babyshower and to see some old friends of ours. My buddy works at Apple and took me over to the sprawling campus. I stood in the spot where Steve Jobs would park his car every morning. I’m a huge Apple fanboy, but I really didn’t think I’d geek out about it all that much, but I just felt a heaviness being in that area. I snapped some great shots of the front of 1 Infinite Loop, But just seeing all those buildings, a symbol of how something started by two dudes in a garage can escalate. It’s been several hours since I started this paragraph (work and life stuff) and I’ve lost the main jist of what the hell I was getting at. Feh.

Okay, back to the topic…What’s next for me? Immediately…eating Corned Beef and Cabbage (A day after St. Patrick’s day. We were travelling all day yesterday.) Which will be the first beef/cow anything I’ve had in probably over a year. I’m eating it more out of love for my wife than love for the actual meat. Long-term vagueness: I’m going to work hard at being me.

Follow Scott on the twitters, read his books,look at his pics, and go to his website.  He is a wonderful guy and should be made into a god.

image

To recap:

I love conversations like this

The really do go almost anywhere

I love me some Scott St Pierre

You should too

I could have really slept significantly more today

I really wish I was sleeping right now

School is going well for me still

It is Spring Break for my university studies, so I should be heading down to Florida and getting drunk

I am still all Gluten Free up in this bitch

It is not the best thing ever

And I need to do stuff

Have a great weekend

20 Question Tuesday: 238 - Ali Spagnola

image

Today I get the pleasure of asking the insanely talented Ali Spagnola 20 Questions… “who is Ali Spagnola?” you ask. Shut your stinking pie hole and read until you get to the end… you disgust me with your lack of knowledge. Disgust and dissappoint. At the same time.

Ali is a triple threat. She is a musician, and artist, and a third leg to a tripod so she doesn’t fall over. I became aware of the talented Ms Spagnola through the podcast the NSFW Show (please refer to my Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young 20 Questions). Ali has just emerged victorious from a 3 year legal battle like a drunken butterfly. She is in the process of getting a tour together and just quit her “day job” to pursue this musical endeavor. Ali is the owner and operator of a thing called the “Power Hour.” For those of you waaaaay out of the alcohol scene (like me… damn you allergies!!!), a power hour is when you drink a shot of beer every minute for an hour. Her power hour concert is one where she sings 60 one-minute songs to get people to party. The songs of hers I have heard are pretty darn badass. She is also the artist behind “Ali Spagnola’s Free Paintings” where she paints one painting a day and sends it to someone… Like a boss.

Anyhoo… enough about her, let’s ask her some questions. By “let’s” I mean, “I’m gonna.” To the questions!

I have a M.A. in geography, so the concept of “place” is always interesting to me, and I love the idea that where someone has lived tells a interesting story of their life. It is their geographic story. I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. My fam moved to Montgomery, AL when I was 3, moved northeast of Birmingham, AL where I stayed until I was 18. I went off to college in Kent, Ohio, and then grad school in Columbus, Ohio where I got married. I have been in the Columbus area for the past 15+ years. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

Pittsburgh.

Haha I was tempted to leave it at that but I fear I may seem like a jerk… as opposed to a funny jerk. I grew up and hour outside of Pittsburgh in Beaver County. I went to school in Pittsburgh at Carnegie Mellon University. After graduating, I got a career in Pittsburgh. This week, I left that career to pursue my music/business full time. In Pittsburgh. The only colors I’ve ever cheered for are black and gold. (I love that our city’s sports teams all have the same colors.)

Staying in the same area can be great, but when that place is Alabama…. /shudder. I love that the MLS team in Columbus is trying to capitalize on the Black and Gold of Pittsburgh.

So with the shift to following your musical career, Question 2: Do you see yourself having to move for career purposes? If so, where do you see that move taking you?

I don’t see myself having to move in the near future because a lot of what I do is online and touring. I need a home base for those things so why not keep it where I have a low cost of living and a close by mommy? I’m definitely open to moving anywhere needed to further my career but I haven’t found a specific reason to just yet.

It is nice that the globalization of entertainment allows for you to reside between the coasts and do what you do.

Now, to the question that all 10 of my readers want to have answered… Are you ready? Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

Pi. Specifically the math kind. I memorized it to 50 places. No joke.

So, then I assume you are familiar with the Hard and Phirm song Pi? Not a question, that was not Question 4, it was rhetorical, and potentially informative… As someone who majored in mathematics, I find that e is just as important as pi, but holds significantly less cultural sway than the ratio of circumference to radius. It is like… like… well, it is like the e is silent. That is a string of phrases and thoughts that I never thought, and probably should not have been, put into the public zeitgeist.

Question 4: Are you familiar with the Hard and Phirm song, Pi? I am not doing this right, am I?

I wasn’t. But now I am. Thanks, internet!

Anyone who memorizes 50 places of pi should know that song exists. I am a truth-giver more than a blogger. So…

Question 5: Why learn pi to 50 places when you have a fine arts degree? What is it about pi that you are so drawn to? It seems rather incongruous.

It was just always interesting to me. Despite the fact that I seem like a partying artist/musician. I’m also a giant nerd. I memorized pi in high school when there was a poster of it on the wall next to my desk in calc class. Incidentally, when I went to college at CMU, one of the acts in our freshmen talent show was two guys reciting pi in unison until one of them couldn’t remember any further. Wow. I knew I had found my home.

That is a very odd set of circumstances to get you to know pi to 50 places… very odd indeed.

So, your current concert seem to require a certain amount of libation. Therefore I surmise that there is a certain level of inebriation that you frequently endure… Back when I was young and viral and manly and such, 2 things happened when I would get drunk… enough. Thing the first, my southern accent would raise its ugly head, y’all. Thing the second, I get really really good, and I mean disturbingly good, at theoretical math. Question 6: Do you have any special powers that surface only when you are compromised by the alcohol?

My super power is enabling. That and making people lose their cell phones. The more I drink, the more belongings get misplaced.

I realize that may come off as me being a kleptomaniac but that’s not the case. It’s just that people have trouble hanging on to their stuff when they party with me and it ends up God knows where.

Methinks thou doth protest too much… From your luxurious bed of ill-gotten cell phones.

You went to Carnegie Mellon for fine arts, so I am going to dip into a art question… Question 7: When did you know that art was a thing you “had” to do? For example, I knew art was a pursuit of mine when I was 5 years old and drew a pilot in the little tiny cockpit of a fighter jet I was drawing.

It wasn’t like I decided all of a sudden that I had to make art. I still haven’t decided if it’s a thing I should do. Maybe I’ll go back to school for computer science.

Yet, you went through the amazing trouble of getting an actual degree in fine arts… I find that stunning. I started out as a studio art major, and the incredible subjectiveness of the art department made me jump ship to the math department. I was a pen and ink guy, and the painting/sculpture thing just did not work for me.

Question 8: Just painting? or are there other arty things in your life?… please don’t/do say scrap-booking… that would be both sad and awesome.

I was actually a sculpture major. But after I graduated I did digital art/design for a living. All of the nice things I make can be found here!

That is quite an impressive portfolio. I was especially impressed by the Midway Mania graphics, well, because I played that game this past summer. Well-done. Since I am at work at the moment, I did not look through your sound design work, but I am sure that is awesome. You don’t seem to put out crap…. look at me blowing sunshine.

Question 9: Fill in the blanks: I feel that I am mostly _____. Others feel that I am mostly _____.

I feel that I am mostly driven. Others feel that I am mostly drunk.

So, playing music is something that takes skills and concentration. I cannot imagine you being capable of changing musical genres and styles every minute while being soused. I would imagine around minute 50, the last 10 songs would be slurred lyrics with repetitive G chords. Question 10: Do you end up drinking through most of your power hour concerts, or are you merely a conveyance for others’ drinking enjoyment?

You are correct. I get exponentially less talented the more I drink. And there’s no Ballmer Peak for music. So I don’t play the Power Hour while I perform. I’ll maybe have a drink or two but I mostly don’t even have time because I’m too busy being the party ringleader.

The newer social aspects of the internet are helping to create a new class of entertainer or the “middle class rock star,” if you will. I imagine that the party host service you provide can really be considered a gateway to a longer form concert… Question 11: Do you have enough of a catalog to have a straight up concert, and if so, has anyone asked you to come back for a more traditional concert after you have powered their hour?

Well my show actually ends up being about 80 minutes, not just an hour. The songs all played back to back are exactly an hour and since I interact with the audience in between, my set gets extended. No one has asked me to play longer than that before but I have enough content to keep the party going. I’ve also considered switching to DJing after the Power Hour if anyone ever wants a longer show.

And actually, I do a monthly livestream show and this past performance ended up being three hours long because I started taking requests and played two hours of covers after the Power Hour!

Oh, cool. I was completely unaware of your livestream. That is great. I will need to put it on my calendar so I can experience it at least once.

Usually I ask a question that revolves around the word “dozen” since this is going to be question 12, but instead, I will address this question with something completely out of left field… You have mentioned that your focus was primarily sculpture when you were in college, but then moved on to more of a graphic area, and now you seem to be primarily focusing on more auditory stimulus. That is a transition of inputs from tactile, to visual, and then to aural. Question 12: Do you consider yourself a kinesthetic, visual, or auditory learner? Do you feel that your current method for learning has been consistent throughout your life?

I consider myself right in the middle of that triangle. Before any of the art stuff, I was a competitive figure skater and competitive dancer. That was all kinesthetic and because I started at really young age (3), my strength in the physical type of learning has never left me. Though, sing me something and I won’t forget it. Yet when I was taking tests in school, I’d visualize the page in the textbook where the answer was. Maybe that means I’m crappy at all three things. I have to dance while singing the words I’m looking at in a book before it sticks.

So you really are the triple threat. And probably the life of the party in a group study session.

So Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or any rituals? For an example of ritual, I used to get ready for a soccer game by getting dressed in a very specific sequence. I did not do it so much for luck as much as I did it to get my head in the right space. Do you have a ritual to get yourself ready for a concert?

Before my shows my ritual is two Power Hours. It used to be one but that worked so well that I’ve doubled it.

I find that difficult to believe seeing as how you just said that you have an issue performing whilst blotto, but I will let it go…

so… Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of. I chose Vampire Bear (the ursine variety, not a hairy gay dude) image

Question 14: What would you be most afraid of?

I’m most afraid of people taking my party to far and harming themselves. Making sure people aren’t being irresponsible with my game is a constant concern of mine and a very real fear… Ugh. A legit fear? What a downer. This frat sucks… Binge responsibly, kids!

That is a super legit fear, and I can imagine that is something that you have to keep in mind fairly often. I imagine you have consulted with legal people and such concerning liability and all that. It really does not surprise me as a fear of yours. We can be real on the 20 Q’s. It doesn’t always have to be silliness with a side of snark.

Let’s get real then since I have you in a moment of genuineness… Question 15: What is one trait within yourself that you would like to change? I’ll go first. I would like to stop being so fear based in my actions. I find that fear of failure seems to be hamstringing me from being bolder and potentially happier.

My liver. I think it’s reached it’s 3,000 miles by now so I’ll grab another.

Oh, were it that easy. Head down to the local 5 and dime and pick yourself up a new liver. Yes, I am 80… the 5 and Dime? What the hell?

So it does seem like you like the drinky drinky. Question 16: If you had all of them to chose from… beer, wine, shots, mixed drinks… What’s your poison?

I like a good whiskey on the rocks. I also like a crappy whiskey on the rocks.

image

Not playing around, and going straight for the whiskey.. well, not whiskey straight, on the rocks… I am confusing myself now.

so Question 17: Is there something that I haven’t asked you that you are surprised I haven’t, or that you feel that I should ask?

You’ve been pretty thorough so far so I’m surprised you haven’t asked me about my ringtones. I have some songs that were shipped standard on a handful of Android devices and I occasionally get inquiries about that.

I feel you should ask me about my favorite pentameter. It’s iambic.

I had not realized how many irons you have in the fire. Well played Ms Spagnola, well played.

Turn about is fair play. I have been drumming you for 17 questions, so Question 18: Anything you want to ask me? I am pretty much an open book.

What’s your favorite pentameter?

I am somewhat a fan of the bard, so I am a fan of the iambs… however there is a soft spot in my heart for the classical lines of a good solid dactyl, but if push came to shove, iambic pentameter for the win.

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 questions that you did not bring in with you? Have these 20 questions illuminated anything new for you?

I’ve learned that 20 is much easier to tackle than 60.

I would say that it is about 1/3rd as difficult… were you taking a shot each time I sent you a question?

Question 20: What is next for you? Be as concrete or as vague as you want. Be as philosophical or straightforward as well… short term, long term, answer how you see fit.

Next for me is to make more nice things :)

Thanks, Ali! This was a blast. Everyone go to her indiegogo campaign and donate. Follow Ali’s exploits on the twitters. She is partying for our freedom so, everyone should support her for that alone.


To recap:

I am now gluten free I miss the gluten Mainly in the form of donuts And bread And pasta

20 Questions Tuesday: 237 - The American South

I was sick last week… shivering and chilled under a blanket on the couch watching House of Cards on Netflix.  In my fevered dreams I remember Kevin Spacey’s Georgia accent transitioning from pretty good to Foghorn Leghorn territory.  The rest of the week is a blur of almost being well and weakness.  So this week I am feeling better… not great, but better.

This weekend the wife and I are traveling down to Asheville, North Carolina for her participation in her 3rd marathon.  She is tired of training.  I don’t blame her at all.  She has run a shit-ton in the past year and a half.  So, we are taking our interracial marriage down south again.  It has been years since we have done that.  Trepidation is happening.  Therefore this week’s topic is: “The American South.”

Thanks this week go to Nadolny (who celebrated a birthday yesterday), the wife, lsig, and Maj McArmypants.  On to the questions!

1. Which Southern states don’t really have that southern feel anymore? I would argue that so many folk have moved to Florida from the North that it barely retains it’s southern feel in anything but the most remote areas (then again, remote areas in Ohio seem southern).
Florida is barely southern anymore… however the pan-handle is still deep south.  There are pockets that still retain their southerness and still being more cosmopolitan.  These are primarily the main metro areas.  No one can deny that Atlanta and Nashville are Southern with a capital “S,” but they also are cosmopolitan enough to have more than the singular Southern Culture represented.

2. Which Southern state has changed the least?
My gut sense is Arkansas. The most likely answer is Mississippi, but I think Mississippi is under enough of a microscope that change is inevitable.  Arkansas could be quietly stagnating….  

3. Can we just let Texas secede? Please. We could ask Cuba to take their place. That’s really piss the Texans off.
Sadly, no we cannot let Texas secede, Austin is too valuable.

4. Don’t we have an Ashville in Ohio? Do you really need to drive all the way to run there? It seems like one Ashville in the world would be enough.Who names their town Ashville?  A town full of ash? That sounds ludicrous.
The Ohio Ashville does not have an “e.”  We are traveling for the “e.” Asheville was named after Sam Ashe who is one of the founders.  North Carolina should eb happy that Asheville was not founded by Robert Gofuckyourself.

5. What’s your favorite Southern delicacy?
Ummm… that is easy.  B-B-Mother Lovin-Q….

6.  Why you no sound southern?
I worked actively and fervently to not have a southern accent because the Alabama accent I would have gotten is not pleasant to hear.

7. A: What southern attitudes did you leave behind? B: Which ones do you still carry with you?
A: The fatalism.  There are people in the South who subscribe very strongly in the idea of “Fate” or as the call it “God’s Will” and will not take actions themselves to change their lot in life.
B: Some of the manners and politeness… I don’t use it much, but I do have it at the ready.

8. Best job offer in the world…do you move back to Birmingham?
Any place in the south you would be willing to live?
Hell. Frickin. No.  There is no job in the world that I would be willing to take in Birmingham.

9.  Difference between The South and the Deep South?
Atlanta is the South.  Nashville is the South.  There is some southern heritage and tradition associated with the cities while acknowledging (somewhat) the fact that the Southern underpinnings was built on the backs of an enslaved people.  The South celebrates slowing down, politeness, and its food.  The Deep South are the places that are 15 minutes or more away from major cities where time moves backwards and the stereotypes and tropes live.

10.  Southern fried chicken…?  Is there a northern fried chicken?
Northern fried chicken is just “fried chicken, and “Southern Fried Chicken” I think involves buttermilk.

11.  What do you consider “the South” geographically? Culturally?
Hmmm… I consider the geographic boundary and the cultural south to be one and the same.  South of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, West Virginia and East of New Mexico.

12.  What benefit have you gained from being raised in the South?
The perspective of someone who has moved away.  It is a weird thing to have gained, because you can only gain it by leaving.

13.  What do you consider the main attribute that the South contributes or exemplifies within the overall American character?
Exaggerated and false politeness

14.  How long of a drive is it for you to Asheville?
It looks like about 7.5 hours.

15.  How much Southern marathon booty is the Wife going to kick?
Tons.  The runners there are already complaining that the temp is going to be too low…  My wife trains in 13 degree weather with a wind chill of 6.  (-10.5 temp with -13.3 wind chill for my Celsius folks out there).  

16. Considering your “American South” background do you really think of North Carolina as part of the south?  I mean the state has North in its name?  (and Asheville has more street performers than Paris….PARIS!!!)
It is a weird thing to have North in the name and be part of the South. I will grant you that.  It should be South Carolina and Souther Carolina. Street performers are nothing more than vagrants with skills, so a place in the south with beggars?  Not surprising.  That fact that they can soft shoe? Surprising.

17.  So according Health and Human Services (confirmed by my last trip home) the South leads the way in Obesity.  Finally we are number one in something!!!  Your thoughts?
Southern Fried chicken is a weight maker.  Deep fry it!

18. Overweight Alabama State Employees are charged extra to recoup Health insurance costs.  Good on them or totally unfair?
Good on them, but there should also be some incentive and assistance with exercise programs.

Personally, having been to several Alabama DMVs, I don’t think it is worth it.  Adding in a whole system to track that one skinny guy’s paycheck.  He just got there for goodness sake.  Give him about 2 years.
Meth… the skinny guy is on meth.

19.  I find that most fake southern accents on TV/movies are just painful. Why is that?
Because you are from the south.  If you were from Boston, you would find TV’s Boston accents to be deplorable.

Do you think it is because Southern accents ARE just painful and I did not notice growing up down there or that actors fail to grasp that you can’t try too hard?  Enunciation being the devil and all.
Not all Southern accents are painful… the ugly Southern accents are super ugly though…. and I think you meant “Enunciation being the debil and all.”

20.  Heat or the Humidity?
Heat.

To recap:
Finally getting over my cold
So much stuff coming out of my nose
Hoping it does not turn to an infection
Wish the Wife luck this weekend
She is running the inaugural Asheville Marathon
1/3rd on road, 2/3rd’s on trail on the Biltmore Estate
Should be awesome
She is concerned about not doing well
I am not concerned about that at all
She is kicking more ass than I ever have
Some of my podcasts are boring me now
Time for a refresh
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 236 - Valentine's Day

This week is the week of Valentine’s Day… I often don’t pander to the holiday, but today is one of the pandering days.  So, strap on some pander monkeys and let’s jump into the saucy sea of Valentine glitz.  

Thanks this week go to the wife, Chris Corrigan, Steev, Maj McArmypants and some other guy.. Onto the questions:

1.  ummm….We both forgot the anniversary of our engagement.  should we just pretend that we got engaged on valentine’s day like everyone else and go out to dinner?
Dinner is always appropriate.  Last week was crazy sauce.

2.  I love the name Valentine.  Someone should have a kid and name her that. thoughts?
I think that is perfectly fine, but I would feel that you know more people who might be able to make that happen.  

3.  What should be the kissing game at Zane’s(Little Man, our oldest kid) Valentine’s Day party at school?  An email was just sent out asking for ideas.  I don’t have any, but it has to involve kissing, right?
What the what?!?!  There is a “kissing game?!?!” What the hell does that mean?

4.  You and your beloved have the most amazing relationship…you talk all the time about how lucky you both feel that the other one would pick you, but if you could put it down to one thing, what fuels the love at the Ryan-Hart household?
It is a one/two punch of communication and putting your partner first.

5.  Tell me the story of why you changed your name when you got married.
The wife was not willing to take my last name, and I felt that it was important for my family to have the same last name. Therefore we combined last names to a hyphenated last name.  Simple really…

6.  Once I had kids I discovered there was another kind of love I’d never experienced before.  How would you talk about that love?
That love is really unable to be expressed by mere words.  It is an amazing and instant love.

7.  And here’s one for you…what are the parts of yourself that your beloved saw in you that no one had ever seen before? (I believe that just naming those qualities would be a lovely Valentine’s gift!)
I have sweet side that most people haven’t seen…. and never will.

8.  Why do you think love gets short shrift?
Because love is very intimate and personal. It is not something that can easily be jumped on by a group of people.  Hate and jealousy and pettier things are easily glommed on by a community of people.

9.  In 1929 there was a gangland shooting known as the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre. There was also a record album released in 1981 bearing the same name and featuring the metal band Motörhead. The lead singer of Motörhead’s name is Ian Fraser Kilmister but goes by the nickname Lemmy. Do you know why they call him Lemmy?
He gained the nickname by constantly asking, when poor and young, “Len’me a quid?” and his brilliant cadre of friends started saying, as Frasier would approach, “Oi, ere comesat Lemmy.” aaaaand scene.

10.  Valentine’s Day is the name of a romantic comedy film that was released in 2010. The film features Ashton Kutcher who was married to Demi Moore (which is kind of a romantic comedy in itself, but I digress.). Moore was also a founding investor in the Planet Hollywood restaurant chain. There is a Planet Hollywood in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; do you think they can show her movie Striptease there?
I think it is illegal to even show that movie in Louisiana.

11.  Valentine’s Day is also known as the Feast of Saint Valentine. St. Valentine or Saint Valentinus, died in prison in 629 AD. What do you think his last meal was and would you consider it a “feast”?
Gonna say that his last meal was not a good meal.  My bet is some crusty stale bread rind, a bit of moldy cheese, and small ort of some dried salted fish. The Roman’s weren’t known for their polite treatment of prisoners.  

12.  The day was first associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Although being a great poet, Chaucer was a less than great soldier. He was captured during the siege of Rheims in the Hundred Year’s War. Many of the largest champagne-producing houses, known as les grandes marques, have their headquarters in Reims. Do you think Chaucer was drunk when they captured him?
Drunk and in a compromising position with a local lady.

13.  In India, in the antiquity, there was a tradition of adoring  Kamadeva, the lord of love. This tradition was lost around the Middle Ages, when Kamadeva was no longer celebrated, and public displays of sexual affections became frowned upon. (Total bummer.) Before people stopped getting freaky in the streets, Kamadeva was known to fly around on the back of a bird shooting “love arrows” with his sugarcane bow with honey bee strings. This sounds suspiciously like Cupid, the Roman god of erotic love. The Pope lives in Rome now and has renounced erotic love. Do you think this is why he quit?
Nope, he quit because he is of advanced age and did not realize how much of his tenure would be associated with sex scandals.  That is a tiring work life.

14.  Don’t you think this would be more fun if this was formalled-up a bit?  Let’s call it St. Valentine’s Day and correct anyone who uses the “old” non-religious version.
I think it is time to start putting the reason back in the season.  Let’s martyr some clergy!

15.  I think we can safely say that love for St. Valentine’s Day is a spectrum. 1.  People who see it as a lame Hallmark Holiday.  2.  People who recognize it is a lame Hallmark Holiday, but would happily support it if it came with time off bestowed through Federal Holiday status.  On a scale of 1 to 2, where do you stand?
More 2-ish than 1-ish.

16.  Do you ever think that St. Valentine’s Day might be proof of the existence of a mainly apathetic mad scientist with a mind control ray?  I mean one day the US started buying romance cards that somehow honors an Italian martyr and let’s throw in the mass consumption of chalk in little tiny heart shapes?   Personally, I would have added in large red hats and insisted that love be spelled “wuv”, but otherwise if I had the technical know how for mind control this just about where I would have left it.
I don’t think there is enough of a subliminal message about how awesome the mind control scientist is.  If I were to create a holiday, there would be something in it to revere me as an icon of some kind.

17.  While never really NOT lame, don’t you think that this holiday’s day is done?  I mean in a time where courting was a “process” this might have provided an opportunity to express an interest.  Now that appears to be done causally with the standard: “Can I git with U?” text.
I like the idea of changing the meaning of Valentine’s Day (the colloquial meaning) from the romantic holiday, or Single’s Awareness Day as some call it to more of a Booty Call Day.

18.  Do you like those little chalk hearts?
Nope.  Cannot stand them.  My dad, however, could eat a bag of them.

19.  You doing anything for Valentine’s day?
Parent teacher’s conference followed by dinner with my wife, it seems.

20.  Valentine’s Day?  More like Valentine’s Gaaaaaay…. am I right?
No… No you aren’t right at all.  

To recap:
Who would want to be Pope
Man, I am rather tired
Sleep has been elusive
Mainly because I am not going to bed early enough
I should prolly go to bed tonight
Early-ish
I have 2 interviews in the works
Both are teh awesome
One is on question 9
And the other is sitting on question 14
I have one person willing to do a 20 Questions
But that person is on a cruise right now
I have had a couple other people say they were willing and then never email me back
If anyone wants to do one of these lemme know
Happy Valentine’s Day
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 235 - :)

I did not do any prep for this post… I don’t have an interview and I have not sent out the clarion call for questions that I usually do on Mondays… How will we do this?  I will find an online questionnaire and answer it!

Here we go, these questions are from:

http://answers.yahoo.com/questio/index?qid=20110124141233AAYyOgp

1. Do you wear make-up, if you do what kind?
Nope

2. Do you have a YouTube account? If you do what kind of videos do you make?
Yep, but anyone who has a Google account has a YouTube account.  Having an account does not mean that one becomes a content creator.

3. Do you have a Facebook/ twitter?
Yup… I tend to like Twitter better than Facebook

4. Who is your favorite singer/actor?
Well singing actors are a small population.  Hmmm… Ewan McGregor, or maybe Hugh Jackman… Obi Wan or Wolverine?

5. Do you have a iPod, if you do what are your top five songs on it?
They are mainly from comedy albums, but they are in order:

Sex in your Bottom by Greg Behrendt

A-Punk by Vampire Weekend (the lone song in the group)

God’s Lobby by Greg Behrendt

How do I get in a Relationship by Greg Behrendt

Riff Suite 2: The Mystery of Offices/The Burden of Seeing Me by Paul f Tompkins


6. What shirt are you wearing right now, and where is it from?
It is a light blue tight plaid pattern button down shirt that I got from somewhere about 5 years ago.

7. What is your favorite color or colors?
I like varying shades of green.

8. Do you live in a 2 story or 1 story house?
If you do not count the basement, it is 2 stories, but technically I could have answered this question with a simple “Yes,” because I do live in a 2 story or 1 story house.  This question is also awkwardly presumptive of my socio-economic status.  I could be renting or living in a box under an overpass only accessing the Internet via public computers at the Library.  Your questions are weak and poorly worded.

9. Do you like to read?
Yes.

10. Favorite store?
I would say the grocery store.  I go there all the time and clearly spend most of my money there.

11. Do you have pets? what kind?
Nope.  Non-existent.  Again, poorly worded question.  The second part should be “If so, what kind?”

12. How popular are you?
Dreadfully… take that as you will

13. What color hair do you have?
It is brownish.

14. DO you like your life?
I do… but I think you meant to emphasize “like” or “your” instead of “DO.”

15. Last text message says?
“Cool”

16. Do you get makeup from drugstores, if you wear it?
This is a bizarre question, at best.  This is like a logic question that follows a listing of statements.  Tammy doesn’t like make-up.  Betty wears makes up that only comes from beauty stores.  Liz likes make-up but will only wear make up from retailers found in larger stores.  If you are Liz… Question 16!

17. Favorite sport?
Soccer

18. What kind pants are you wearing right now?
Some light green slacks.

18. What your best friends name?
My best friend name is Glen, unless you count the wife, and then the best friend is the wife.  Glen is awesome, but the wife is a badass… you should really QA/QC your questions.

19. Do you love like or hate life?
And maybe you should re-read your questions before publishing.  See 14…. also commas, look into them.

20. Did you have fun answering these questions?
Meh, and sometimes I define “meh” as “no.”

To recap:
I clearly need to get questions from better sources
These questions are not well thought out
These questions are not provocative
These questions is not grammatically correct
But I did not do my due diligence and am left with these questions
Dad goes into get some heart stuff tomorrow morning
I hope they find a heart and not some mechanical pump that was placed there by space aliens 24 years ago when he lost those 4 hours of his life while driving cross-country…
Wait, check that last statement, the alien thing would actually be pretty cool
Unless it is one of those H.R. Geiger aliens… thems some ugly aliens… and mean
Have a good weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 234 - Rain

 

image

back to the regular schedule… and by regular schedule I mean me answering questions in an asinine manner.  Some questions will be asinine, but, all answers will be.  So, it is almost February in Columbus, Ohio and it was gloomy and rainy yesterday… therefore, today’s topic is “Rain.”  I am nothing if not topical!

Thanks this week go to Kelly Smith, Nadolny, Lsig, Dr B-Dawg, Chris Ring, and Brett Wood. Let’s get to the questions.

1.  Acid or Purple?
I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain…

2.  You have become an overlord in a post apocalyptic world. If you were to start a reign of terror, what would it begin with.
The Spanish Inquisition… weren’t expecting that were you?

3. What’s up with freezing rain?  Can’t make up it’s mind. Is that the definition of wishy-washy or what?  (puns intended)
I think that people forget that precipitation can be many things.  Freezing Rain is just our inadequate naming convention, freezing rain is not a wishy-washy precipitation form… we have a wishy-washy language.

4. Favorite rain song? Least favorite rain song? (I despise many).
Favorite: I cannot think of one that just jumps out at me.
Least Favorite: Singing in the Rain… it is too much of an earworm

5. Hydroplaning, discuss.
Ah, hydroplaning, the way I “got rid” of my second car.  Really annoying

6.  If you got caught in purple rain, would you be laughing? Really? I think I’d freak out.
I would not be laughing, but if I saw you in the purple rain, I would expect you to be laughing… in fact, it is the only thing I would want to see.

7.  If you gotta blame it on something, is the rain really your best choice?
I think blaming it on a guy named Rob or Fab would work better, but seriously, I would blame it on a greedy producer.

8.  Which get you down more: rainy days or Sundays?
Rainy days

9.  Does the rain ever fall on your head like a new emotion?
Nope…. but I faintly remember it falling on my head like a memory…

10.  What would you foresee as the biggest potential problem were it to actually start raining men (hallelujah)?
Craters… craters of splattered men and broken limbs

11.  Who do you think the OED attributes “makin’ it rain!” to?
My bet will be Fat Joe

12.  Do you like jumping in muddy puddles?
Not especially… especially with my awesome shoe selections.

13. “Dancing in the rain” is a great tune, but it is really dangerous. Would this be the most dangerous song title of all time?
Nope, the most dangerous song name is, “Hot for Teacher”

14.  Many people like to sleep when it rains, how ‘bout you?
LOVE. IT!

15.  As a kid we used to construct make-shift “boats” out of popsicle sticks or paper and send them down the sides of the street towards the sewer during rainstorms. Can you remember doing anything like that as a kid?
God, did you also like pushing a hoop down the street with a stick? Skipping down the street with a big lollypop?  Are you 70?

16.  Do you find that rain slows life down a little which is why some people like when it rains?
That is an interesting theory.  I really like it.

17.  Do you know why I like rain? … Because it’s NOT SNOW!!! ok, I kinda answered my own question, you’re welcome ;)
Well, that makes my response easy.  It is like you don’t even need me.

18.  Do rainy days and Mondays get you down?
Just Mondays.

19.  Is there such a thing as too much rain?

image
Yep! There is also “too little…”

image

 “Too something”can always happen in a near infinite universe… I just blew your mind, didn’t I?

20.  Can you make it rain?
Best I got is a strong mist or a drizzle, but I cannot make it rain.

To recap:
Couple other interviews in the works
Gonna be awesome when they hit
But until then, you will ave to deal with me
Wow, you forget one “h” and the statement looks all 1890’s Cockney
The rain in Spain falls mostly on the plain
It’s like I’m th’opposite of “My Fair Lady,” govnah
I got on the treadmill Sunday evening, I did… what the ell was I thinkin?
Now me legs are all quivery and such, they are
And my feet
My feet feel like I’ve been walking on stones all day
Look, ere’s Gorilla Grodd for yer pleasure

image
Oy! Ave a great weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 233 - Mike Milloy

image

It has been too long since I have been to Nova Scotia.  It is a gorgeous place filled with wonderful people.  One of these people is the lovely Mike Milloy.  Mike and I started corresponding years ago because we were both daddy blogging like champs in the mid-aughts.  In a period of a year I had the opportunity to hang out with he and his family twice in the wonderful world of Nova Scotia.  First I was up there for the ALIA Leadership institute, and then a few months later the whole family came heading north to the Halifax area for my wife to work for a few days and follow that up with a crazy fun vacation.

If we had the money and the leisure time, I would work hard to have a second home somewhere in Nova Scotia.  Anyhoo… Mike is an absolute joy to chat with and a person I met on the Internet that I was ecstatic to meet in person… You will get to know him in the following 20 Questions.

Geography, my second love, compels me to ask you for your geographic story.  You have read these questions before, and I am sure you know what most of them are, so I assume you will have no problem with Question 1: What is your geographic story?

My geographic story starts out in the frozen tundra of Manitoba: land of lakes. And mosquitoes. And a lot of bundling up for long, freezing winters. Growing up there wasn’t as bad as you might think. As kids, we are innately bulletproof and don’t care much about how hot or cold it is, and so long as your parents have dressed you appropriately (or taught you how to do so), there is no problem lacing up your skates on your front step, putting on the skate guards, and walking half a mile on hard packed snow to play hockey at the community rink.

I lived there for fifteen years, then the family was uprooted and headed west to oil country for another decade or so, where I finished high school and the first of my university achievements. Going from the Keystone Province (really, that is what they call Manitoba) to Alberta wasn’t a touch switch. More hot summers, more cold winters… it didn’t really matter where it was, just that we were a lot closer to the mountains. It was in Alberta that I learned to ski and snowboard (enough to get by on a trip to Jasper or Banff), drive, and cram for exams. All in all, a good place to continue one’s formative years.

After taking a year’s reality check, I uprooted myself to Toronto for a couple of years to get away from my main area of study (economics) and into the environmental field. Two years at a university in the Big Smoke — I’m all about the place names today — I had both fallen in love and out of love with the city, and deeply in love with a girl; a girl from the East, no less.  And so it was that we would eventually pick up and move to Nova Scotia.

Trading the mountains for salt water wasn’t much of a hardship. I missed the snowcapped peaks, but learned how to sail and play in the hurricane-churned waves (if my kids are reading this, you should NEVER play in hurricane-churned waves. It’s just not safe.) I fell in love with the ocean, the bays, harbours, and inlets of this part of the world, and love reading nautical charts. I’m sure you as cartographer can appreciate moving from the world of hiking through the mountains with a topographical map in your hand, to holding a tiller of a sailboat and scanning charts to make sure you don’t run aground and sink your boat.

So that’s it, in four paragraphs… started in the middle, moved west, then steadily plowed eastward. I feel like a displaced prairie boy sometimes, but actually fit in with the comfortable east coast lifestyle better than I thought I might.

That is quite the Geographic Novella.  I knew the Manitoba piece, the Ontario piece and the Nova Scotia piece, but was unaware of the Alberta piece.  So I gather that Manitoba and Nova Scotia are the primary places that you call “home.” Question 2:  Which one is truly your home in your heart of hearts?  and why?

It’s cliché to say that the place where you raise your kids is inherently “home”, but maybe that’s for a reason. We (in the personal sense, not the collective sense) call this home because that’s where the most important memories are being made. I visited my birthplace a decade after leaving it, and found nothing that would really tie me to the place. Similarly, these days, visiting out west leaves me with the feeling that I just don’t belong there anymore: it’s a bit like having a geographic yearbook, or flipping through old photos. You’re in all of them, but they’re all time and place specific. So for now, this is home. Did I answer the question?

I completely understand, and you answered the question perfectly and eloquently.  When my childhood cat died whilst I was in my Super-Senior year in college (5th year) I realized there really wasn’t much “back home” for me to visit.  Yes, my parents still lived there, but that is beside the point.

People want to know, and they are getting antsy Question 3: Cake or Pie? Which kind specifically and why?

I am really more of a pie guy. Berries are my thing… blueberry pie is awesome. Cherry pie, even better. Lemon meringue? Don’t even get me started. That said, I have in my old age taken to going in for seconds on the pound cake with buttercream icing that is usually a ‘cop out’ at a birthday party. But for the sake of coming up with a single answer, pie.image

I have found that most people who like cake, LOVE frosting more than they like cake… Question 4: How do you think a pie with frosting would go over? I have my thoughts and will share them after your answer…

I think that would be a spectacular way to rocket one’s way into a sugar induced coma! I think the frosting is supposed to add something of a contrast to the stability and relative blandness of the cake texture, which really doesn’t exist in a pie. So I don’t think I’ll be an early adopter of the cake/pie hybrid. 

Firstly, I think you underestimate the amount of sugar that the typical North American (predominately United Statesean) diet can handle.  secondly, I think you also underestimate the sheer variety of frosting/icings that are available out there for desert consumption.  I suggest to you, the equivalent of a dutch apple pie, wherein you replace the highly brown sugar laden crumb topping of a typical dutch apple pie with a layer of cream-cheese frosting.  Cream cheese frostings are typically not that sugary (compared to butter-cream, at least) and have a savory undertone to its sweet flavor.  I say if done correctly, frosting on pies could bring about world peace.  One just needs to pair the correct frosting recipe with the appropriate pie… Q.E.D. World Peace.

I also think that many cakes would do well with some kind of fruit compote as a topping instead of frosting.

You work as an economist for the your province’s government, Question 5: When did you find out that you wanted to devote your mental energy toward economics (a subject loathed by many [coming from a mathematics major, so no judgement here, just curiosity])?

I don’t want to belabour the pie-frosting point here, but if you think the world could agree on what kind of frosting would best go with which kind of pie? You should contact the United Nations post-haste. I look forward to the impending state of world peace you will undoubtedly bestow upon us.

On to your next question, which if I read it correctly, is asking at what age I cut my hand so badly that in my swooning state of blood loss, I realised I would make a terrible doctor?

Eight.

As for what I did eventually become… I wanted originally to get a business degree. Why? I can’t really say. I think I was influenced by someone out there who was charismatic enough to garner my awe. And so I started on the path to getting some economics courses under my belt, and I just kind of kept rolling with that, to the tune of over two dozen economics courses before I realised that I still had to get some electives in or I wouldn’t graduate. Completely finished with my undergraduate degree, I knew that economics was getting too theoretical for me, so I’d better do something practical with my education, which took me into the environmental studies field. I eventually learned that pairing the two was a useful combination, and it set me on the path to doing a) economics, then b) environmental economics, and (now) c) mostly economics but with a critical environmental/interdisciplinary bent.

In other words, the cosmos aligned and I became what my education was supposed to prepare me for. Weird, right?

Being an economist in today’s era is an interesting thing. It’s like being a scientist and having your lab become the entire world. Or maybe the other way around. In any case, I don’t think economists are any more reviled than before; it’s just that people let you speak longer before they determine everything is your fault and even though you saw it coming, why can’t you fix it already??

And don’t get me started on math majors. Those freaks used to take the hardest mathematical-economics courses as electives.

Dude, I have way too many holes in the ground to look at to worry about world peace via the correct frosting to pie combination (whipped citrus flavored frosting instead of meringue on a lemon custard pie) … and as far as Math majors taking high level economic courses as electives?  not this guy;  I took art courses.

That being said, it is completely odd that you are working in the field for which you studied and you did not go after a professional degree like a medical doctor or lawyer.  Question 6: So, aside from chasing three kids as a parent and pouring over environmental economic indicators, what consumes your non-existent free-time?

I would make some witty comment about being so busy that I have totally forgotten about free time, but I read something the other day that indicated that people don’t actually ~care~ about how busy parents are! Can you believe that?

I like to run around. Sometimes by myself in straight lines down roads and paths, sometimes chasing and being chased by frisbees (And no, I am not a border collie.). I also like things with wheels: Bikes, skateboards, inline skates, what-have-you. Basically, unless it’s dark out, I’d rather be outside doing something active, and usually it’s with my kids. If it’s dark out, I’m probably consuming copious quantities of television shows that people also really don’t care to hear about.

I always enjoy hearing how busy my non-parent friends are and how they “can’t” do something because of their schedule.  Ha!  I say, they know not what busy is.  I am surprised you did not mention the photography, because you have a pretty good eye for that as well.  Anyone who follows you on the twitters or knows you on Facebook recognize your love of movement.  One of my favorite posts of yours was for one of your winter runs when you got a pic of yourself with a balaclava, and then took one with a balaclava and a jaunty scarf.  Makes me giggle every time I think about it. Every. Single. Time.
image

Question 7: Is there anything out there that makes you laugh every time you experience it?image

That was kind of a funny picture. Hooray for accessories, I say.

Something that makes me laugh every time I see it? Hmm… I think human comedy is the funniest. I was brought up with a healthy sense of humour in the house (I know humour is subjective, so what I consider healthy might be construed as sick, or dry, or just off-base.) — particularly slapstick and physical comedy in movies and TV: Steve Martin, Peter Sellers, John Ritter… fantastic abilities. So anything that has to do with people falling down or making mistakes usually makes me smile. In the vein of internet distractions that keep me amused, two of my favourites are “Cakewrecks” and "DamnYouAutoCorrect". Dot-com those if you dare.

That’s interesting, I find wordplay to be more enjoyable than the slapstick… between us is comedic genius.  Humor is terribly subjective, that is why there are acts like Larry the Cable Guy and Cedric the Entertainer and Patton Oswalt and Brian Regan. All are fairly successful acts, but all are radically different.

Question 8: What would 13 year old Mike Milloy think about current Mike Milloy’s entertainment choices?  I know my 13 year old self would not understand all of my entertainment choices.

I have to believe that other than reality television, which pretty much didn’t exist when I was 13, my entertainment choices have stayed virtually unchanged. It’s sort of like music — at some point, your CD (tape?) collection stops changing, or at least growing noticeably slower.

That is true, but digital music has helped considerably in infusing new music into my repertoire.  For example, PSY’s Gangnam Style… I think I might like K-pop. Question 9: How are you introducing music to your kids? umm… I am asking for a friend.

I think the question of kids and music comes at an opportune time. With the first kid, I tried to keep things mature, but wound up in the downward Raffi spiral (which is good once you’re fully indoctrinated — kind of like a cult). That said, there’s a pile of contemporary artists doing kids stuff, which is a bonus. With the second kid, it wasn’t quite as tough, though the older was looking for something a little more interesting so we had to split the difference when it came to songs in the car. The third kid? She knows all the words to songs that I don’t want to tell her the meaning of.

We sheltered the oldest for a bit.  We Laurie Berkner Banded it for awhile and other kid stuff… Then he migrated to Weezer, you know, more kids’ stuff.  With Q, she is into dance music and gets exposed to the lyrics that accompany dance music.  Ke$ha writes some great lyrics for kids.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks.  I find that I am mostly _________.  Other people find that I am mostly __________.

I find that I am mostly barely holding my shit together. Other people find that I am mostly relaxed and in control of my faculties.

It is amazing how hard it is to hold everything together.  It is the “Duck Axiom:” On the surface serene and even regal, however, under the water, paddling like Hell.  I honestly do not know how I am above water right now.  I have the full-time job, I have a full graduate school course-load, I have 2 kids, and my wife has to travel for her job.  This does not even count the side work I have that seems to be lining up.  It is a wonder.  So because of your running in long distance running events, having three kids, having a full-time job, and spearheading the Movember movement in the Halifax area with your thin and blond moustache, it is a wonder you can come up for breath at all.

Question 11: What would you like to be doing with your time that you just cannot get to?

I’d like to be building something. Bikes, furniture, something that takes a moderate amount of time and obviously would require some degree of prolonged concentration. Life is just not conducive to individual pursuits such as those.

I once bought the plans and rough cut all the wood to build some Adirondack chairs for a friend’s wedding present. They now have three children and I never did finish the project. Luckily, I never told them about it.

I’m not saying that given the time, I could successfully pull off something that would look professional, but I wouldn’t mind pointing at something other than a photo on the wall and say, “I did that.”

Having a physical record of effort would be a great thing.  That is why I have been drawing more and more.  Lots of flat colorful artifacts of various degrees of quality.

Question 12: Do you have a favorite thing that comes in a set of dozens?

I like eggs

More of a doughnut man myself… I find that eggs are only an occasional thing, whereas I could eat doughnuts daily… Hourly even.

Since we are on Question 13: Do you have any superstitions/ rituals/ out of proportion fears, etc….?

Having been born on the 13th, I feel justified in claiming the number as a lucky number, rather than an unlucky one. I’m not sure if that’s irrational or not. On an unrelated note, I do sometimes fear that the difference between quirky behaviour and OCD can be a very thin line, so I’m constantly suspicious of my own idiosyncrasies.

Well, the issue with quirky vs OCD is if the action you are performing is to make sure some other unrelated activity occurs or doesn’t occur.  If it that kind of situation (I need to check my phone for voicemails so I know my kids are safe even though I checked 5 minutes ago and the phone hasn’t rang since then) then it is OCD.  If it is wearing a flowerpot on your head and dancing a jig, you are quirky.

I am well familiar with the effort it takes to deal with 2 kids in the house.  Question 14: In orders of magnitude, how would you rate the amount of parental energy it takes to scale up from parenting 2 wee ones to dealing with 3?image

Luckily, we never had three that were all “wee” at the same time. It felt like a geometric leap to go from 1 to 2, but the third actually was much easier to handle. People with two kids should definitely just go ahead and have a third. It really makes that difficult learning curve worthwhile! (Disclaimer: I should not be trusted in any way when it comes to parenting advice.)image

It is going from man-to-man to a zone leaves open seams for a kid to make a break across the middle… and you don’t want the kids to get a TD… at best a field goal.  ”Keep the kids out of the red-zone” is what I always think, say, and do.

Question 15: When are you coming to Columbus?image

That’s a good analogy. But having the oldest kid on your side part of the time is like having a mole… so it may appear it’s a zone defense, but it’s more of a hybrid.

Columbus is #1 of my places to visit when in Ohio. You should know that. But I have yet to broach the subject of a summer vacation in the family truckster to that part of the world. Do you have a board of tourism that can send me a video?

Nope, our tourism is more bored than associated with a board.  Don’t get me wrong, C-bus (as the locals are known to call it) is a great place to live.  Good schools, relatively nice climate, growing restaurant scene, etc… but it doesn’t really have much in the way of attractions.  If there is some kind of conference in the Columbus vicinity that is all about Economics… I insist that you visit.

Question 17: Have I missed anything? Any questions you were hoping that I would have asked?

Well, you haven’t asked me what the secret to blog longevity is, so I can only assume you’ve visited my dormant blog and have crossed me off the list of informed sources.

What about you? Is there anything you want to come clean about? Tell me about your childhood, Scott.

There is no secret to blog longevity.  Blogs come and go and mainly go, everybody knows that.  I am only doing this because I find it relatively enjoyable.  Once it begins to feel like a chore again…. another lengthy hiatus will ensue.

Well, Question 18 is typically the “What questions do you have for me?” but you jumped the gun… you turned the tide on me too soon… I don’t know what to do…

hmmm… a secret from my childhood… I was in the Boy Scouts, and got my Eagle Scout.  While I was there I was homophobic and pretty racist…  It was Alabama in the 80’s and early 90’s.  No matter how much my own tendencies went towards progressiveness and openness, I was a product of the environment.  It was not until I went to college that I shed that shit. Product of my environment and all, I still never liked country music.

You brought this upon yourself… Question 18: How about you?  Is there anything that you want to come clean about?

As a non-catholic, I never understood the idea of ritual confessionals. I mean, we all do bad stuff from time to time, but how is being sorry about it on a weekly basis going to make things better?

I try not to do things I’ll be regretful for, but I admit that I often do things without thinking about the downstream effects and consequences. Usually nothing too serious, but I admit that I’ve disappointed people close to me from time to time and it’s hard to revisit those days and events. Hopefully those people realize, like me, that we’re not a perfect species and that holding a grudge forever is just not productive. image

Grudges can really hurt things.  The hubris of my youth facilitated very similar actions without thinking of the consequences.  I guess that is how people become wise.  Stupid, unwise becoming wise people.

Question 19: What are you taking from this 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

The motto for the Beavers (the entry point for boy scouts in Canada) is “sharing, sharing, sharing”. I feel I’ve done a lot of that here, which I suppose was your intent all along. I am not one to mesh my online persona (such as it is) with my personal life, but you’ve definitely been able to scratch through my veneer. Thanks!

I am a veneer scratcher, if nothing else.  But let’s be clear , I scratched the veneer to look at the deep luster of the subsurface.  You are a deep and wonderful person, that I am lucky to know.  On top of that, I am well aware that had it not been for Daddy blogging in the mid-00’s I would not have the pleasure of knowing you.

Question 20: What is next for you?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.

At the risk of sounding like someone who’s turning forty (which I will do in less than three months’ time), I’d like to work on Who I Am. Not to say I’m going to buy a corvette, hit up a sweat lodge, and embark on a journey of truth (or open a record store), but I’ve come to realize there are things about me that are only “about me” because I like those things in other people. So I think the next phase of my life is going to be centered around critically thinking about the things I do and wondering if they’re really about ~me~ or if it’s just something amusing about other people that I have somehow latched on to. I should leave those things to them.

Maybe another way of putting it is that I’d like to try to live genuinely. I hope I have the fortitude to pull that off. No guarantees.

Well, I look forward to the genuine Mike in the future instead of this disingenuous bastard I have been dealing with here.  Mike, thanks so much for taking the time to do this.  FYI… to all my reading public, this 20 Questions spanned a full 6 months to complete… when he says that raising three kids is not significantly more effort than 2… I think he is a lying liarpants. image

Follow Mike on the tumblrs and the twitters

To recap:
I love me some Mike Milloy
You should too
Drew this for my 4 year old daughter
image
She wanted Superman
And then said, “No!  Supergirl!”
Done and done!
It is silly cold today
But the cold has nothing on the windchill
I am not telling you what the temp is
Look it up your damn self
Well… that’s about it
Have a great weekend everyone
imageimageimageimage

20 Questions Tuesday: 232 - Greg Proops

Greg Proops Title Image

It is rare that I get get in contact with someone that completely and thoroughly intimidates me.  There is my wife, but I have learned to deal with that near constant terror after 17+ years. In this instance the intimidator is the stand-up comedian Greg Proops.  Mr Proops is one of the memorable personalities of the US and UK versions of the improv show “Whose Line is it Anyway?”  He is a facile improvisor, but his real strength lies in his meticulously crafted stand-up.  He is a wordsmith, a verbose wordsmith with amazing hair.  If you are interested in his weekly musings, he has a great  podcast called “The Smartest Man in the World.”  He is full of himself and backs that shit up, and oddly enough, he is at his best when he is in the middle of the boring preachy parts.

Without further ado, here are 20 questions with the feminist, improv specialist, podcasting genius, vodka aficionado, stand-up comedian, and baseball enthusiast. 

I got my masters in geography, specifically associated with geographic information systems and cartography, and the story of place really resonates with me.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, lived in Montgomery, Alabama, grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, went off to school in Kent, Ohio, and wound up in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born on a planet far away. Given powers that could corrupt normal mortals. I withhold some of my super juice knowing one day earth may need me.

You often mention how much you travel and you are touring all over the place.  Question 2: is there a particular place you cannot help but visit if the occasion arises? For example, if someone offered for me to go to Edinburgh (and I did not have previous obligations) I would go in the drop of a hat.

Paris is always at the top of my list. It is beautiful and the food is tremendous. Just the smell of coffe and bread in the moring is enough to write a novel about. I adore San Francisco with unbridled passio. I was just ther and we stayed at the wharf. The fog and the gulls, the seals and the tiny boats swaying in the slaty air. Goosebumps.

Question 3: Is there a non-traditional place that you enjoy visiting? Some place off the beaten path.  A little burg that you visited once with which you did not know you would fall in love… For me, currently, it is a little town in Nova Scotia that makes me smile.

Halifax, NS is a place of rare delight and mad lobster. Mendocino, California for me is heaven. Mendo and Point Reyes. Weed, wine and seafood.

One of the questions I always ask my questionees is born from a Paul F Tompkins bit.  Question 4: Cake or Pie?  Which specific kind and why?

Both. My wife kills both.

I have found in my asking this question to bunches of people, that there is a strong distinction between who likes cake and who likes pie.  In my small survey sample, I have noticed that people who opt for pie, really like pie and would love a piece of pie if it were available.  However, people who opt for cake, LOVE cake and would jam a fork in a baby’s hand to get that piece of cake. Question 5: Why do you think cake lovers love cake so much? and why are pie eaters relatively ambivalent in their love of pie?

I have not found your thesis to hold true. Pie lovers in my experience are simply cake lovers who have not yet grasped that fact about themselves.

You are clearly a lover of words with a delightful vocabulary.  I have found that there are a smattering of words that should be used more often but are not.  For me, one of these words is “whilst.” Question 6: What is a word that is in relative obscurity that you feel should be used more in everyday language?

Recalcitrant it means defiant of authority or difficult or resistant.

I also try to fit in the word “shiny” as an adjective for awesome.  “His performance was really shiny.”  That shit just doesn’t work, so it is not working well.  I do not seem to be able to gain any traction at all.  I think one of the reasons for that is because it is a silly notion, and I also have the social footprint of an unknown blogger.

Shiny is best when used describing things that actually shine like sword tips, or the moon.

Question 7: Is there a “3rd rail” of comedy? If so, how often have you danced on that rail?

I have pissed on it, daring fate to leap up and scorch my manbag.

So, I have been sitting at my desk and rubbing my eyes nearly nonstop for the past 5 minutes.  I am pretty sure it is something to do with some moldy elements at my workplace and my own difficulty dealing with mold at a histiminic level. Question 8: Do you have any allergies?

Poverty is highly allergic to me. I have been poor and it is hard fucking work.

I think I may be allergic to alcohol.  Every time I have a drink (the equivalent of a shot, a glass of wine, or a pint of beer) my face gets flushed and I get a nasty headache.  The following morning I am hit like I drank a keg of beer and licked a lizard of some kind… after.just.one.drink.  It is quite annoying.  I have been staying away from the alcohol for the past 5 years or so.  Question 9: You are a lover of the vodka, what is your brand of choice?

Don’t lick lizards you have not been properly introduced to. Any brand I am pretty slutty. Tito’s handmade is nice. Chopin is very smooth.

From listening to your podcast, I know that you love Roman History.  Question 10: Who are the 5 Romans with which you would want to have an intimate conversation? They do not have to be an emperor, but they could be… and it does not have to be simultaneously.  No reason to get Caius Cassius and Julius Caesar in the same room.

Cicero because he is the governor. He is why we know anything about Rome and the rhetoric he used still stands. He loved his family and hated Caeser and Antony and paid for it baby.

Cleopatra, I know she wasn’t Roman but she had a huge influence on Rome and did visit. Fascinating woman.

Livia, Augustus wife. Probably one of the most powerful women in the history of Rome. She could tell you everything about what was what.

Hadrian- Gay, lover of poetry and things Greek, Traveled the most of all the emperors.

Seneca, Tacitus, Strabow, Arrian, Martial, Terence, Plutarch- Poets and historians.

Oooh, over halfway done.  Question 11: Is this going okay?  Am I boring you? I am boring, aren’t I? God, I am so self-conscious right now…

Easy, Cochise. We are moving right along.

Question 12: Dozen eggs, dozen bagels?dozen roses? dozen donuts (doughnuts… you pick your spelling of choice), or the Dirty Dozen?

Eggs are useful, donuts divine, bagels are great in the morning, the Dirt Dozen is an awesome film. I love Jim Brown and Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin. Ralph Meeker has the best line in the picture. He is the psychologist and Lee Marvin asks him what he ahas found out about the guys and he says,’ But along with these other results, it gives *you* just about the most twisted, anti-social bunch of psychopathic deformities I have ever run into! And the worst, the most dangerous of the bunch, is Maggott. You’ve got one religious maniac, one malignant dwarf, two near-idiots… and the rest I don’t even wanna think about!

Always donuts for me… always.  A dozen donuts is almost immediately a half dozen though…

Ah, unlucky 13… When I was a young’un I had a specific ritual that I did prior to playing soccer.  I did not construct it as a “lucky” thing, so much as I used it to get myself in the frame of mind to play the game.  Question 13:  Do you have any classic superstitions (salt over the shoulder, black cats, etc…) or rituals (get dressed in a specific sequence, only pour the vodka into this specific glass)?

I smoke a j and pray to the gods of funny.

I always love your diatribes against popular culture, so for my own indulgence… Question 14: Can you give me your best reasoning as to why non-celebrity celebrities (Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, etc…) have become so integral to popular culture when their “celebrity” status is consistently decried by the very media that elevates them to relevance? … and go.

The world is full of mediocre people who don’t want anything to challenge their crappy pre-conceived notions or their stunted intellect. So they elevate these entities to distract us from the game at hand. The rich have taken over and are never letting go, the government is not going to help you and war is made to drain the wealth from regular people. The media is owned by the companies that run the government. Do not believ anything on TV. Nothing on TV is true or important in your life. Except the World Series and old movies.

Question 15:  Fill in the blanks:  I find that I am mostly _____.  Others find that I am mostly _____.

Unable to fill in blanks. Pretentious.

Question 16: Do you have a typical day?  Is there a typical schedule that you adhere to on a typical day?  or are you some kind of laze about hedonistic well-dressed neo hippy who lounges about all morning until you have to scrape yourself away from your comfy confines to belly up to the comedy club and swill libations until you entertain the masses with your witty rapport?

I awake full of fear and trepidation. The world is scary. Then I burn one and move on.

We are heading into the wrap up.  Question 17: Is there something I should have asked you that I have not? and what is your answer to this question I have not asked through my staggering inadequacy?

The greatest ball player of all time is Willie Mays and yes Barry Bonds should be in the Hall of Fame.

I understand that turnabout is fair play. Question 18: Is there a question you have for me?

Really?

Yeah, Really.  I know.

The penultimate question… Question 19: Are you leaving these 20 questions with anything that you did not have with you when you started them?  What is your take away from this “experience?”

You have overthought some things and pulled the ripcord on others. You seem sincere and you care. That is what is important to me. I like insecurity it is a sign of humanity.

and now the final question, Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or vague as you want…

Hopefully a new comedy hour for Chill who did Maria Bamford’s special special. Maybe a book…..and as always the Proopcast which is free on iTunes or gregproops.com

Well, that just happened.  Follow Greg on the twitters iffens you want, but the podcast is really a better milieu for his particular comedic stylings.  Heck, follow me on the twitters as well… if you are bored

To recap:

Holy shit!  That just happened…

Back to the normal format next week

Classes started up today…

So much work to do

Go buy Greg’s albums

Proops Digs in from 2010

Elsewhere from 2009

Houston We Have a Problem from 2007

Joke Book from 2006

Back in the UK from 1997

Those are the only ones I could find

They are hilarious!

Listen to them

Listen to them now

No really… I have listened to them all

The wife is back in town after a week in Montreal

She seems to have loved that town

Mon épouse adore Montréal

et elle retourne en octobre

I have homework to do now

In a subject I know very little about

Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 231 - Bill Meeks

Today I get the pleasure of asking a video artist, yes, I said it, a video artist, 20 Questions.  The artist in question is one Bill Meeks from Meeks Mixed Media.  Bill is a multi-media triple threat.  I don’t know exactly why I called him that but it sound really good.  He is an incredibly talented video editor and has created boatloads of animated title sequences and his work can be seen all over TWiT and the Geek & Sundry Channel on YouTube.  I became aware of the talents of Mr Meeks whist watching the NSFW Show on TWiT.tv.  Bill is a consistent presence within the chat rooms for multiple TWiT shows and has participated in many of the antics associated with the NSFW Show hosted by Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young.  I really loved his entry into one of the show’s 10 second film festivals and felt he was robbed of the win in that contest.  It is humor like that which makes me want to get to know him better.

Without further ado 20 questions with a guy whose work I am envious of, but know diddly-squat about.

I have a M.A. in geography, so the concept of “place” is always interesting to me, and I love the idea that where someone has lived tells a interesting story of their life.  It is their geographic story.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. My fam moved to Montgomery, AL when I was 3, moved northeast of Birmingham, AL where I stayed until I was 18.  I went off to college in Kent, Ohio, and then grad school in Columbus, Ohio where I got married.  I have been in the Columbus area for the past 15+ years. Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born in a small town next to Houston called Katy, Texas. Brushwood lived there back in the day as well although we didn’t know each other. When I was 3 we moved to Stafford, VA for a few years then moved back to Katy when I was 7 or 8. When I was 12 my grandmother got pancreatic cancer so we moved to Wheeling, West Virginia to be closer to her. I stayed there through high school and moved out to L.A. when I turned 18 where I stayed until I moved to West Liberty, WV at 19 to go to college. College wrapped and I moved to Philadelphia for about a year. Then I went back out to LA for about a year and a half. On a trip home to visit family I connected with my now wife, who had been a friend of mine in college, and we got an apartment in Pittsburgh. After we got married we moved to Cleveland for a year and a half and then back to Pittsburgh, where we stayed until moving to Atlanta two years ago. Whew! Had to start with the longest question, didn’t you?

There is a good chance that things will get longer as this goes on.  You never know where these questions will go.  Sure there are points that these typically all hit, but in between those points it is anyone’s guess.  So, you have a pretty interesting geographic footprint, Question 2: Where do you truly feel “Home?”

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the host was saying that it takes about three years for a place to feel like “home.” I thought about it and in my adult life I’ve never stayed anywhere for three years. The house I live in now holds the record at 26 months. Maybe because of that no one place really feels like “home” to me. It’s more circumstances. When I’m lying on the couch with my three kids lying on top of me while we watch a movie that feels like home. Talking to my wife while she drives on a road trip feels like “home”, To me home isn’t a place. It’s the people around me.

Home can definitely be a grouping of people and not necessarily a place.  For me, Columbus immediately became “home” because I moved there with my wife.  She is home to me. Where she is, is home.

The masses demand this question.  Question 3: Cake or pie? which specific kind and why?

Cherry pie, because it is delicious. Also pie is a better choice than cake because cake is so light and fluffy that you can eat a decent amount before you get full. With pie generally a piece will do you well.

There is a place in Columbus called "Just Pies"  that has world famous Cherry Pies.  I say that only to make you jealous.  My mom was a cake decorator when I was growing up, so I have a soft spot in my heart for cake, but I think pies tends to win out for me, unless it is cheesecake and then we have an immediate winner.

Question 4: So I know you are the creator of wonderful motion graphics and video, when did you realize that was something you could “do?”

I am jealous, you jerk. I was always interested in TV growing up, but there were two moments that really locked in video work for me. When I was 15 the local computer club I belonged to did a tour of the local TV station. We stopped in to the 3D animator’s office where he was using Lightwave 3D to make on-screen graphics and promos for the station. I’d always heard of computer animation but I didn’t realize it was something that could be accomplished on just one machine. Seeing somebody do it made me realize it was achievable.

The second moment was a party at my sister’s apartment right before I started college. She had a computer with Windows Movie Maker and a cheap $10 lapel mic from Wal-Mart and with a little spit, Spackle, and a few stills from King Kong I found online I put together a small narrative. Charles Johnson vs. King Kong! Charles was my sister’s boyfriend. King Kong climbs the Empire State Building then sees a Photoshopped giant Charles humping the Statue of Liberty. Shocked he falls, and our hero tells us was beauty killed the beast over the sounds of Charles humping. Award-winning stuff. But it gave me a rush I still get every time I hit play on the draft of a project.

Truth be told I am not big on the fruit pies.  Only really well made apple pies.  Blueberry and cherry have never done it for me.  I am a lemon meringue guy.  So, just to make you hate me more, we have an incredible cherry pie within 3 miles of the house and I don’t eat it.  Wasteful, I know.

The video editing path is fascinating.  I am okay doing still work in 2-D, but the idea of adding motion and depth kills me.  My hat is off to you, good sir.  The cap has been duly doffed.  I love the word “doffed,” but it is rarely used, and only in conjunction with hats.  Question 5: What is a word you really like that is rarely used?

Now I’m not only jealous but I strongly dislike you. My word is Jejune, which means stupid, immature, and childish. I like to blindside people with it and make fun of them when they don’t know what it means. I guess that’s pretty jejune of me.

Oooh, I haven’t heard jejune for a long time.  I love that.  There are so many good words out there just discarded on the side of the road, disused, forgotten, and rotting slowly.

Question 6: Since the new year is coming, what goals are setting for the new year?

In the grand scheme: to top this year. In more exact terms I’m getting some new gear and something of a production budget to work with so I’d like to increase output in “fun” content, or stuff that I do because I absolutely want to. Little projects I’ll be building from the ground up. I’d also like to get back in shape, but that’s so cliche. 

New gear is always fun.  You could have chosen a significantly cheaper interest though. Quality AV equipment is pretty costly.  I do think that the cost of entry is a pretty significant barrier, not to mention the learning curve.  Yikes.

So I make maps for a living, and when I see poor cartography (see any maps in USA Today) I get infuriated by the ineptitude and complacency and the cost of the map compared to what I am making right now…  Question 7: do poor tile sequences just completely piss you off as much as bad maps do me?

Cost of entry is actually better than it ever has been, but it’s still expensive to get the best stuff. I generally don’t get pissed off very easily but when people get too trendy or too derivative it gets on my nerves. Yes, your name in 3D letters with particles flying around it might be a cool thing to show your friends, but it was stale two years ago in the marketplace. A thousand people have the exact same thing and while it might not set off any alarms in the average person but it won’t make you stand out.

It is amazing how quickly things get stale in the digital realm.  It makes it difficult to stay on top of having an online presence for anything creative

Question 8: Do you see any slowing down on the production of technical equipment due to physical limitations or is the sky the limit and changes will continue fast and furious?  (ie. 720, 1080, 2k, 4k, etc…)

It seems like most advances in the digital space stay popular for about 10 years. HD has been popular for five or six years now so we are due for a change over. They are trying to make 3D happen but I don’t think it’s going to. I can see 4K getting big in the next few years. As for what comes after 4K I don’t know. We can go bigger or we can go to some sort of interactive standard, but that’s for smarter and with a bigger investment fund than me to sort out.

You are clearly an avid viewer of the TWiT network, and since I live on podcasts due to my boring job (I take in about 38 hours of podcasts weekly), Question 9: Do you consume many podcasts, and, if so, which ones?

A ton. I’d say I probably listen to more podcasts then TV or Movies. My first podcast was Coverville but the first one I really became a big Fan of was Raging Bullets (A DC Comics fan podcast). I of course listen to a ton of TWiT and Revision3 shows. NSFW, Framerate, MacBreak Weekly are favorites on the TWiT side. Revision3 it’s Film Riot, Breaking it Down, and Scam School. Outside of that here is a list of podcasts I enjoy in no particular order: The Nerdist, WTF with Marc Maron, Fatman on Batman, East Meets West, Breaking Bad Insider Podcast, Radio Free Skaro, Comedy Bang Bang, Nerdist Writer’s Panel, Scriptnotes, and everything NPR/PRI put out. I also host a podcast about ABC’s Once Upon A Time called Greetings From Storybrooke (greetingsfromstorybrooke.com). /shamelessplug


*Editor’s Note:  Google these other podcasts your damn self.  I have neither the time nor the energy to link all these damn things**

I have not been able to get into podcasts about other shows.  I have tried a few, but they just don’t seem to resonate with me.  One of the main reasons, I think that is the case, is that I haven’t really gotten into the shows that those podcasts are about.  I know I am blaspheming to a degree by saying this, but I have not watched Breaking Bad, I am not a fan of The Walking Dead, and I have never gotten into Madmen.  In fact, we do not have cable, and I only stay semi-current with one show, Arrow.  I like the treatment of the character, but he really does need to have the goatee as part of his costume.  Get on that Arrow producers.  Anyhoo… Plug away on your podcast.  If I watched Once Upon a Time, I would definitely subscribe to your podcast.

Since this is the middle of the 20 questions… Question 10: What are you currently in the middle of right now?  Could be a book? could be a life shift? What is waiting for you at the end of this thing you are in the middle of? (Other than this 20 Questions)?

I’ve heard good things about Arrow, but I haven’t got around to watching it yet. Smallville kind of left a bad taste in my mouth as far as live action DC superheroes on The CW. It went way too long and didn’t give Superman fans nearly enough pay off.

Right now I’m in the middle of writing a script for a video. After that comes recording then lunch then editing. What is really waiting for me at the end of the day though is the XBox 360 my wife bought the kids for Christmas. I’m probably going to set it up tonight to make sure everything works and get Minecraft downloaded for my son Liam. I don’t celebrate Christmas but I still have to do all the tech stuff.

I have been watching Arrow on hulu, so I get it a week after broadcast.  It is fun and they are treating it very seriously.  There is some camp to it, but it seems to be grounded in a consistent reality.  I heard that Smallville started out great and the end of it just wilted.

Question 11:  Fill in the blanks:  I feel that I am mostly ________.  Others Feel that I am mostly ________.

I feel that I am mostly a decent person, a hard worker, and pretty fun to hang out with. Others Feel that I am mostly balding.

Balding?  Hadn’t noticed.  I have heard that you are indeed an enjoyable person to be around.  I think both statements may be true here.  They are not mutually exclusive categories… clearly.  Nor is there any causal relationship.  Decency, hard work, and fun do not bring about baldness or vice versa.
As you mentioned beforehand, you have moved all over the place and have consider home where you have a couch and kids lounging on you.  Question 12: Where would you like to live, if you had your druthers?

I’d love to move back to Los Angeles. I was doing pretty well there last time and loved the atmosphere. As of right now it probably won’t happen because it would be WAY too expensive to live in a safe neighborhood and in a big enough place for the kids, but it’s always in the back of my mind. Someday, maybe.

Cost of living out there is definitely crazy high.  One of my wife’s friends just moved out there from Central Ohio and is re-adjusting to a significantly smaller residence for her family of three.

Ah, unlucky 13… Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals to speak of? Superstitions like “crossing a black cat’s path” or rituals being more of an odd sequencing of actions to bring about an outcome.  If this is unclear, let me know and I will try to ‘splain it better. 

My lucky number is actually 13 just because it’s silly. I really don’t have any big superstitions. Pretty rational overall. I do find myself occasionally stepping over cracks when I’m out walking to spare my mother’s back, but when I realize I’m doing it I stop myself. My wife is pretty superstitious though. She always stops me when I mention a situation is going good because she thinks that will make the same situation go south. Silly, but I humor her and try to watch proclaiming success.

Proclaiming success is not something I have to worry about.  So, at least that is not a problem for me.  It is interesting that your have Lucky 13 in your back pocket.  There are worse things to have than a lucky number. For example a rapid monkey.  That would be much worse than having 13 as your lucky number.

Time to get creative.  Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of.  I chose Vampire Bear (the ursine variety, not a hairy gay dude).  Question 14: What would you be most afraid of?

A strange dog clawing at my eyes as he pushes me towards the unprotected roof of a skyscraper. All my greatest fears, one twisted scene.That sounds rather frightening, indeed.  Especially if that strange dog is a little yappy dog.  ooooh I dislike the little yappy dogs.

Question 15:  Who is your guy in the DC universe and what is your opinion on the New 52?

Superman. Superman. Superman. Superman is not only my favorite comic book character. He’s my favorite fictional character. In his best stories he inspires me to be a better person. I’m a fan of anything Grant Morrison has done with the character, but I also love the Julius Schwartz era with weird powers and imaginary stories. I even have a Superman tattoo. The New 52 is fine and I really liked Swamp Thing, Animal Man, Actions Comics, and Demon Knights. I’ve been saving up my favorite titles though to blow through a few story lines at one time though.

So, the upcoming Superman film is rather exciting to you. It does seem as if they have it correct this time around, if the trailer has anything to say about the movie.

Question 16: Red underwear over blue tights, or no underwear? As a comic book arts guy I have my opinions, but I am curious what a Superman fan thinks

Love the trailer for Man of Steel. I was completely against the project based on the news and rumors but the trailer completely sold me. You didn’t see a ton of Superman but it really felt like they got Clark right. Red underwear over blue tights. I like the classic look. Very circus.

Visually, even if it seems silly, the underwear over tights work better.  It breaks up the blocking of color and creates some more interesting forms to immediately recognize.  I was not sold on the idea of a new Supes movie, but I have to say, this most recent trailer makes it seem like they got the character correct.  Well done.

It is too bad that I only got to Superman until just now, this has been super fun to ask these Superman questions.  Question 17: Is there any question that I did not ask you, that you feel I should have?

Let’s see. Superman, video production, family, podcasting… I think we covered all the bases. Wait. Music. You never asked me anything about music. Favorite Band in Barenaked Ladies pre-Steve’s departure. Favorite song is Break Your Heart by the same. Also love Harvey Danger, The Decemberists, Say Anything, and used to be really into the punk scene. I ended that when I had to get a tooth rebuilt after a bad incident in a mosh pit though.

Sad to say, I really have moved away from music lately.  I listen mostly to podcasts now.  I am old…. so… so.. old

Question 18: Any questions you have for me?

I’ve shied away from new music lately. Just haven’t found anything that lights me up. Now, for your question.

Who would win in a fight: Ninjas or Ninja Zombies? Please include your reasoning in detail.

I find that this is actually a bit of an easy question.  Ninjas beat Zombie Ninjas any day of the weak.  Ninjas are all about subtlety and misdirection.  Zombies are base level organisms.  They lose all training and abilities when they re-animate, so it is not like they are zombies with ninja abilities, they are merely zombies.  They are merely zombies in fancy pajamas.

Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you? 

I guess it depends on the zombie lore you subscribe to. I personally think that at least within a month or two of turning the zombie ninjas would retain a decent amount of agility and muscle memory… the base level ninja stuff. Plus, every micro-battle won by a zombie ninja would recruit another zombie ninja to their side. I think eventually the zombie ninjas would win out.

As to the question: A slightly better understanding of current self? That’s probably BS though. I have enjoyed the questions popping in every little while though. A welcome distraction. Also, I have your wallet.

I immediately consider a 20 Questions a success if anybody gets some kind of better understanding of self.  That is a one I consider in the win column.  My wallet is useless… I work for the state.

Question 20:  What is next?  Be as concrete or vague, as real or philosophical as you want.

Fun stuff. 2013 is the year of fun and merriment and a little light vulgarity. Around the end of January/Early February keep an eye on my site (meeksmixedmedia.com) and my Twitter (@billmeeks) for some very exciting projects. Until then I’ll be upgrading my gear, planning things, and editing my Nanowrimo Novel. Thanks for asking me to do this, Scott. It has been a complete blast. I’ll miss our missives throughout the day. *tear*

This was absolutely a ball of fun!  Thanks so much for taking the time to answer 20 Questions.

…and just because the 20 questions is over, that doesn’t mean we can never talk again.

Everyone who needs animated title sequences should hit Bill up.  He is a badass.  

To Recap:
The wife is out of town for a week
And the 4 year old is pushing boundaries
Seriously pushing boundaries
She seems to do that when only 1 parent is present
I would go to work and she would test my wife
Now that the wife is out of town, the girl is going bonkers with power testing
She is probing the boundaries like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park
The movie, not the book
Clever Girl
The wife gets home on Monday
And then I will sleep
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 230 - New Years

image

Happy New Year to all of you on this wonderful day full of promise and expectations.  This year will be amazing and I am truly looking forward to seeing what it brings this way.  Zombie apocalypse?  Fingers Crossed!

The topic this week is, for lack of creativity, “The New Year.” Thanks go to Lsig, Lord Pithy, Dr JHP, Newbold, and Chris Corrigan.  Onto the questions!

1.  ”Dropping the ball” is both our tradition for ringing in a new year and an expression for screwing something up. Coincidence or deeply profound symbolism?
In this instance I do believe it is coincidence.

2.  What New Years Eve or New Years Day traditions so you have?
The fam doesn’t really have too many real traditions concerning the New Years time.  Other than making time for reflections and some for looking forward.  New Years is a time to avoid the present, it seems.

3.  Do you make resolutions? Do you keep them? Are You Going to Make any New Years Resolutions?  Will you keep them? Resolutions for the New Year?
Typically, if I do make resolutions, they are vague.  Last year’s resolution was to drink more water.  I did that.  This year will be to use lotion more often on my scratchy scratchy knuckles.

4.  Ever been to Times Square for NYE?
Nope, and I never want to.  Too many people, and I imagine a good proportion being dirty and smell heavily of cheap alcohol.  

5.  Any blog plans for 2013?
I would like to get more 20 Question Interviews going… anyone know anyone who wants to answer 20 near random questions?

6.    Predict what you believe will be the trigger for a 2013 doomsday cult.
That comet that is mentioned in Question 17.

7.  If you could pick a book that it will be announced will be made into a movie in 2013, what would it be?
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

8.  What was your favorite New year display (Times Square, Paris, Gahanna)?
Do I have to pick one?  I don’t really care that much about the celebration of New Years.

9.  Have you ever been tempted to stroll around town in a diaper and a sash a la Baby New Year?
Not even slightly.

10.  How many words can you make from the letters N-E-W-Y-E-A-R?
How many can I?  or how many can the Internet make out of it?  Me?  Let’s say 4.  The Internet? 58.

11.  Why do you not use your conference call time to solve world hunger, cold fusion, and the trouble with Highlander 3?
A little background.  During conference calls at work I draw… these…


(I color them at home, I am not an idiot, but they are not exciting conference calls)

I do not have the ability to solve world hunger or cold fusion.  One needs to solve Highlander 2, The Quickening, before tackling Highlander 3.

12.  If you could create a new year counting system what would you base year 1 on and why?
Year 1 would be this year and it would result in us being in the fourth b’ak’tun.  Mayans FTW’s.

13.  Any mathematical significance to 2013?
Not that I can ascertain… ask these dudes.

14.  Are the kids looking forward to the New Years Eve coverage on TV or just another night for them?
They were looking forward to drinking sparkling grape juice and eating heavy hors d’oeuvres with my mother-in-law.

15.  What one thing are you hoping to accomplish this year?
2/3rds done with this next Master’s Degree

16.  What was the best thing about 2012?
Tie between starting up the new degree and moving into the new house.

17.  There’s a really good chance a giant comet will light up the sky brighter than a full moon next year. Do you see doomsday bullshit re-surging  about that time?
Yup, see Question 6.

18.  What are your predictions for the MLS this season?
Hmmm… Let’s see.  The parity of the league will make a good bit of bunching in the middle.  I imagine that San Jose will be the real deal again.  RSL will be bottom third instead of near the top as usual.  KC will struggle this year.  LA and New York will be really strong.  Columbus and Vancouver will make the playoffs but sputter out pretty early.  TFC will struggle as usual, but they will be closer to .500.

19.  And what about the Columbus Vancouver rivalry?  We ought to have a name for it…the NothingInCommon Cup?  The “Enemy of my Enemy is My Friend” Cup?
The rivalry should be called the “Who Dislikes TFC Most Cup.”  And the winner of the cup gets TFC as their home opener (and closer?) the following year.

20.  I predict that the Whitecaps will be in the Champions League this year.  Will we see you there?
I could easily see the Whitecaps there, but Columbus, will not be massive this year.

To recap:
Christmas was great
That is why I did not post last week
If it had sucked, you would have heard
Well, read, not so much “heard”
Next week I have a 20 Questions with an amazingly talented video graphics guy
It will be awesome
It really is a fun read
Happy 2013 everyone
Lets collectively make this year an awesome one
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 229 - Transportation Woes II, "This time it's personal..."

Well, that was a helluva Friday.  Gut wrenching Friday to be exact.  I think it may be time to put the tragic events in Connecticut in the rear view mirror and hope that significant action comes of the tragedy so it is significantly more difficult to happen again.  This blog is not about real stuff though.  It is about nonsense, so lets get with the nonsensing!

In continuation of last week’s topic of Transportation Woes, today’s topic is Transportation Woes II: The Revenge, “This time it’s personal…”  Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Ralph Harbison, John Petrisko, and Some Other Guy.

On to the questions:
1.  What is the worst transportation woe you have ever experienced?
Having to run from the International to the Domestic Terminal at the Newark Liberty International Airport in birkenstocks while carrying 2 40 lb bags and almost missing my flight to the ATL

2.  Oh, so it wasn’t when the ferry you were on had to go and rescue another ferry that had broken down and was drifting towards a rocky island with 400 people aboard?
This question seems oddly specific.

3.  Which is worse, to have a working car, but roads that are impossible to drive on because of snow and ice, or to have a perfectly good day for driving and a car that won’t start?
Worse is being trapped with a working car in un-driveable weather.  When it is nice out and your car doesn’t work, at least it is nice out.

4.  Better transportation movie: “Airplane,” “Planes Trains and Automobiles,” or “Rocketman?”
Hands down, Rocketman.  Harlan Williams is a comedic genius in that movie.  Since the Disney stuff is now on Netflix, I hope that Rocketman gets there…

5.  Who would win in a race, Bo and Luke Duke or the Bandit from Smokey and the Bandit?
Bo and Luke, they have exploding arrows.  ‘nuff said

6.  Why is the unicycle such an underrated mode of transportation?
I find that it is not underrated at all.  In fact, one could make the argument that it is over-rated as a mode of transportation and underrated as a form of sideshow buffoonery at Phish concerts.

7.  Would it be problematic to have rickshaws pulled by teams of little people? Would it be better if they were Asian Little people?
It would be problematic due to the short legs.  I am not sure Asian descendancy would help at all.

8.  Why must bicycle riders insist on wearing the absolute ugliest, least flattering outfits possible? Not the actual racers, mind you, but pretentious middle class, starbucks swilling mega-douches?
It is the modern equivalent to the 1970-1980 golf outfit.  It is how mega-douches roll.  They show you how much money they have by choosing to wear the most ridiculous looking clothing.  “I am so wealthy, I can wear this crap and STILL feel better about myself compared to you.”

9.  If you had a choice between a useable jet pack or teleportation being a reality which would you choose?
Teleportation, easily.

10.  In Pittsburgh I was relegated to public transportation for schooling (mainly the bus) have I had enough transportation woe?
Yes, I cannot imagine being in a bus in Pittsburgh.  The whole city drives like it is a high school parking lot.  Right-of-Way is determined by gruff looks and how crappy your car is.

11.  In reference to the above question, in Europe I loved public transportation why the difference?
Well, Europe has great public transportation infrastructure.  Typically the bus system has good headways and adequate coverage, and if there is a subway, metro rail system… all the better.

12.  Have you used public transportation in Columbus? Woe or no?
Only a few rare times.  

13.  When I was growing up we had a neighbor whose Chevy Vega literally split in half due to rusting. Is this worse than your current problem?
Significantly worse than my current transportation woes.

14.  Why didn’t the camel take off as a mode of transportation in the US West?
The spitting… horses don’t spit.

15.  Favorite mode of transportation?
I love flying, but I don’t get to do it often.

16.  Worst mode of transportation?
The back of a leprous nearsighted leatherback turtle with a sprained flipper.

17.  What is a stopping a horse on which you are riding?
Transportation Whoa?

18.  So the other day I was walking on the side of the street and a car flew past me going about 80 mph (128+ kph).  The car nearly hit me, and was easily within 9 inches of tagging me with the side-view mirror.  I hate the way that kind of near brush with a deadly moving object can cause the adrenaline flow to amp up without giving any ability to dissipate that kind of boost.  Not so much a question as a statement of “AAAAAGHHH, A CAR ALMOST HIT ME!!!!”
Okay… Take a breath and calm it down.  Simmer down, and punch a cloud or something.

19.  A passenger train leaves the train depot 2 hours after a freight train left the same depot. The freight train is traveling 20 mph slower than the passenger train. Find the rate of each train, if the passenger train overtakes the freight train in three hours.
The freight train is traveling 30 mph, and the passenger train is traveling 50 mph, and the trains have traveled 150 miles.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

20.   Monorail?  Did you say monorail?
You know, a town with money’s a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.


To recap:
The car woes are over
It was something to do with the alternator
Not the alternator proper, but a thingamajigger inside the alternator or associated with the alternator
Basically the repair was not $ or $$$, but merely $$
I need a haircut
I should prolly get one before the holiday
Sweet giblets and gravy, Christmas is next week!
Holy Crap!  The end of the world is Friday!
I will never get to see my presents
That’s a bummer
I have got to get my deviated septum fixed in my nose
Have to
It is going to be a good holiday this year
On another note I am carrying a 4.0 with 1/6th of my degree done
Woo freakin hoo!
Have a great weekend everyone