20 Questions Tuesday: 183 - Aaron Kuder (aka DDG)

It is a new week and a new 20 Questions Tuesday is ready for your prying eyes. This week I have had the pleasure to interview Aaron Kuder, and up and coming comic book artist.  Seriously, he is badass and gonna be famous.  He has worked on the book “Amory Wars” and can be found pencilling and inking the soon to be published “Key of Z,” a bad-ass zombie book (a book about zombies, not a book that has risen from the dead craving man-flesh).  I once met Aaron outside a mall north of Columbus, Ohio and ate in the mall’s food court talking shop.  It was awesome.
 
So without further ado… onto the questions!
 

So, we met just north of Columbus, Ohio while you were on a cross country move… Question 1: Where were you coming from and where were you going to .
 

I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I have some family/friends there and had been there to grunt my way through this ” economic downturn”. Which I did, and now I am living in Ithaca, New York.. Seriously beautiful area. I went through high school here and end up moving back just as much as I move away… Which also happens pretty often. I like to travel.
 

Question 2: If economic and political constraints were not an issue, where would you want to travel to immediately the most?

 Whoa… big question. That’s like a kid in a candy store, where do you start? Immediately? Well, I have a bunch of friends that are scattered all over the world.. Sri Lanka, UAE, Turkey, Greece, South Korea, etc etc.. I’d probably start with visiting them.. maybe not in that order though. If you’re wondering where I’d like to “settle down” thou? I truly hope I never find an answer to that question.
 

Question 3: That is visiting people, is there a geographic area that you would call your “go to” for rest and recouperation? For example, I would travel to some mountains at the drop of a hat.  Mountains rejuvenate me, whereas beaches are quite annoying to me.  

Friends, especially these friends, would rejuvenate the hell outta me. They’d fill me with food and drink, and pay me lots of complements. But to answer your question, no.. There isn’t one place that stands out more then another. I really like beaches and mountains, rivers and deserts.. The only thing that would sway me away from one place more then another is the number of people there… The more people the less likely I would want to go. So, that being said I guess I could eat my green eggs and ham most anywhere that’s not over populated.
 

I am a bit confused.  Let me ask a question to clarify, but first let me define before I question… anyway… for this purpose, let’s define an extrovert as someone whorecharges their battery by being around other people and an introvert as someone who needs to be alone to recharge thier battery.  You said that being around your friends recharges your battery, but you don’t want to be around large crowds… so Question 4: By the aforementioned definitions, are you an extrovert or an introvert?

 Hmmm, well I guess I wouldn’t define extrovert and introvert like that. I would say I’m an extrovert, but not because that’s how I recharge my battery, but because I don’t have a problem with “putting myself out there” so to speak. To clarify, I would be the guy that let’s his opinions be known, makes jokes, will go out on the dance floor when no one else is there, I’ll fill a room with my voice. And yet, at the same time, I’m not a fan of large crowds. Crowds and friends are different too.
When it comes to recharging my battery, it can be with friends or on my own. I love nature, but I don’t “need” it for a recharge. All I really need is to get away from the environment that’s wearing me down. And that can mean going for a hike or grabbing a beer with a friend.

So, I cannot stand crowds and need time to myself to recharge.  That being said, I also need, crave, yearn for good conversation, and must create some banter with good friends.  So I feel like I am a little of Column A and Column B in the introvert/extrovert scale.  
 
Question 5: Have you had any interviews by comic book industry/fansites/etc… yet?

Short answer… Yes. I’ve done a number of interviews with various websites… No podcasts yet, but a good number of interviews. Multiversity comics did a nice little piece about my artistic process, which was fun.
 

Oooh, I love stuff about process, but the fact that it is out there lets me know that these 20 questions need to steer away from the art track questions. Because, seriously, I cannot compete with the comic sites in that arena, but I can ask the questions that no one else will ask.
 
Question 6: I asked Khoi this as well… Did you get much push back from family and loved ones for deciding to chase the dream of drawing comic books? It is a difficult profession and, until one is established, it is not necessarily lucrative.  Did this difficulty manifest with dissaproval from the fam?

 I wouldn’t say anyone gave me any push back. Although I would have understood if they had. This job isn’t easy, and it takes a lot of your life away. I have very little time to spend with friends and family these days. My dad was a voice of reason, in that he was worried that the unstable nature of freelance work would end up being a disappointing experience.. and truth be told, freelance is really really tough sometimes. But all in all, whenever I asked any of my friends and family “if I should go for it”, they unanimously said “DUH!”
 

It is awesome when you actually get support from your support system. My support system now is strong, but the family of origin support…. eh.  it could be questionable.
 
Question 7: Speaking of the support systems… My mother-in-law has a family credo that she has bestowed upon my wife and myself.  It is a strong set of words to live by.  Do you have any creeds or mantras that you fall back on? The one I mentioned before is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Words to live by, baby!

Ha, that’s good. Nope, no credo, but maybe I should pick one up.. Couldn’t hurt right?

Well, a credo, or a motto, or a mantra is not necessarily a bad thing as long as it doesn’t rule your life… That’s why I think “Don’t let the fuckers get you down” works so well.  You are welcome to adopt this mantra as your own.  I am giving like that.

One thing I have found out about sequential art is that it takes all day and all night… every day and every night. Question 8: do you have any free time, and if you do, what do you do with it?  What does a DDG do with his free time?

Reorganize my life.. by the time I’m finishing up an issue, I’ve had to let a lot of the “little things” go. Like laundry, dishes, blaa blaa blaa..nothing too exciting.  When I’m not working on a book and I really have free time I spend it hammering out stories of my own, to hopefully get published some day. That’s the funny thing about working for yourself, you don’t really get get “free time” unless you’re willing to let go of your “life goals” for a day or two.. and I have a hard time doing that.

Question 9: Any other “life goals” that you are knocking around, other than the comic book creator thing?  You planning on climbing Kilimanjaro before it’s glacier completely melts away? What goals do you have?

There are a number of adventures I’d love to go on… Sky diving, hiking around ancient temples, make a family, save the world.. In no particular order. Actually, strike that, I want to hike through an ancient temple to an air plane, make a family while skydiving, and land on the head of Dick Chaney (which may not save the world, but I’m trying to be realistic here;).

But no other life goals, just bucket list stuff.  Interesting.

Oh, look. Half way through.  The questions only get harder from here. (not really). Question 10: What drives you when you are not inspired to do your art?

Well, hmmm, honestly if I’m feeling uninspired with the art that I’m doing I’ll normally just jump to a different medium… That way I’m still “making” something. The whole “art thing” is less about personal expression and more about needing to make stuff. I have a strange need to interact with whatever I’m doing. Like music for example, I have a hard time simply sitting and listening to music, I almost always have to tap my foot or dance to the band or play the air drums on the steering wheel of my car.

That’s cool.

I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.
Question 11: What is your geographic history?

Oh god.. Born in Michigan, moved to Iowa, back MI, Arkansas, Philly, Ithaca, Arkansas, back to Ithaca, Binghamton, Ny, Ithaca again, Colorado, AR, NY, Seattle, AR, and last Ithaca… That’s the “major” version… There’s a handful more of minor moves.

You keep going back to Ithaca.  Question 12: Is Ithaca your *home* where you hang your hat?  Why is that?

Ithaca is home.. And I would even go as far to say my “hometown”, or at least the closest thing I have to one. I think one of the reasons I keep ending up back here is because Ithaca is a bubble community in a lot of ways.. In a lot of the other places I’ve lived and I’m pretty sure I can safely generalize to say most of America, the downtown areas were replaced by giant shopping malls, and in the last 10-15 years those shopping malls have turned into what I call shopping-towns… Or boxburgs… All the big corporations piling in on top of each other, taking over huge chunks of land to create these monoliths of pointless crap.. Whatever.. I don’t want to start a rant about what’s wrong with the world.. Anyway, Ithaca, yeah… In the past it has prevented boxburg takeovers, and even though a lot of them are here now, there are still a good chunk of people who won’t shop at them. This makes for a community of people that support local things.. And that is something I like.

Shop local is a wonderful principle to adhere to.  I know I definitely try to do that, especially with restaurants.  Question 13: Is there a local eatery that you cannot help but find yourself inside sitting at a table and ordering food?  What food?

Food?!? Oh man, this is going to turn into a advertisement for visiting Ithaca! There is no shortage of great food here. My end all favorite is this place called the Hazelnut Kitchen in Trumansburg, NY.. About a 20 minute drive away.
But with in the city limites Ithaca, per capita, has more places to eat then manhatten…

A place called Fineline has hands down the best brunch. Hal’s deli has the best greasy spoon diner breakfast, best bar/sitdown dinner.. This is a tough one.. Actually there are too many to count… Northstar Pub and Maxie’s are two of the top thou… Anyway this list goes on and on and on. And the only good it’s doing is making me hungry…
Lol, let’s move on :P

Crap… now I’m hungry too.  The issue that I have here is that I have not found a local restaurant that has something that I just cannot help but eat.  Don’t get me wrong, there are many places that are perfectly tasty and have great food, but I have not found anyplace with the one dish that draws me like a moth to the flame…. One day I will find it though… and then I will burn in the flame, um… like a moth.  DAMN YOU ANALOGIES!  DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Speaking of “damning,” Question 14: Do you have a favorite invective curse? Do you have a favorite “clean” curse and do you have a favorite “blue” curse?

Favorite? That’s like asking a parent to pick out his/her favorite child as a favorite.. I mean sure they most likely have one but they’ll never say.
Fuck- is the ambassador to all other curse words. When in doubt, “fuck” is usually as strong of a curse that you will need in any give situation. It’s the rock of curse words, great as the word it sometimes you know a scalpel.
Clean curse word? Like something I use around kids? Um, normally I don’t think about it until too late… Hmmm… Fudge-sicle.. Shitty-chitty-bang-bang… Oh! So you know how sometimes you’re somewhere that you really really should NOT curse, but your month has started and nothing will stop it…So I’m in a room with kids and a plethora of “proper” adults… my mouth wants to say “fuck”, but my brain jumped in right in the nick of time to change it to “fuck-a-duck”.. because if you add a cute duck to anything it automatically makes it appropriate for all ages. so yeah, there’s that. :P

I am a big fan of the word “fuck” in all its wonderful forms.  It is like the age old, recently re-discovered word “smurf.” It can be substituted for any other word.  As far as a clean curse word, I dig the term “j-hole.”  It just makes me laugh because it means nothing.

Question 15: So, I feel good if I get a solid 6 hours of sleep a night, but typically I get a total of around 5…Knowing when you tweet and post on Ten Ton, how much sleep do you get per evening and what hours are your typical sleep hours?

"Typical"… I don’t think that word applies. I work until I can’t stay awake any longer. At least that’s what happens when I’m on a deadline for a monthly book. I’m sure I could give you a better answer if my life in the last year had been in anyway sane.. In the last year (which was also my first year of doing comix full time), I’ve moved twice (once being cross country) and the other time being do to the massive rains we here on the east coast endured this last fall.  Three words: studio ceiling fail. Anyway, almost every month in the last… 6 or 7, has had its own little headache to deal with.. For example, while working on the first issue of Key of Z, that is when my live in apartment/ studio ceiling collapsed, in the next few weeks there were construction crews in, on, under, and in front of my place; in, repairing the ceiling, on, repairing the roof, under/in front of, the local gas company was replace all their old equipment. When I was sending in the pages for the third issue I had had to move all of my computer equipment (think big and clunky) out of my studio to allow the guys working on the ceiling to do their thing.. So every night after they left, I would take all my computer stuff back upstairs, hook everything back up, scan in my pages, do whatever photoshop tweaking and whatnot that needed doing, take everything apart again move it all back down stairs, and get back to drawing the next set of pages.. Needless to say “typical” is not a word I think of when it comes to meeting a deadline. “Whatever it takes” is a better phrase.

That is harrowing to say the least.  I cannot imagine being that productive amidst that amount of chaos.

Question 16: Bearing in mind that your schedule is complete and utter shite, are you more of an evening person or a morning person?

When it comes to drawing I’m more night then day… But I think that comes from years of academic training… Which is to say I was the kid in class with his head out the window, wanting to be anywhere other then the indoors. So I blame the school system for that. However I enjoy both day and night. I wouldn’t say I’m naturally one or then other.

I am firmly and most indelibly a night person.  I am most creative between the hours of 10 pm and 1 to 1:30-ish am… That is when I draw the best, and come up with my best ideas… however I have to be at work between 6:30 and 7 am…. That makes for an untenable schedule.

Question 17: Fill in the blank… “I am mostly ________”…. and go!

Water?
Although being that I’m not big on questions on cage personal insight.. I’m sending a text to some of my friends to see what they say…

Khoi Pham says “liger blood”
Nick Pitarra says “id driven” (he means “id” as in the other side of ego)
Reilly Brown says something I won’t repeat.
My 11 year old nephew says: crazy… No wait you’re worse then that

Those are all great answers! Since we are nearing the end of these 20 Questions

Question 18: Any questions that you have for me?

How’s the fam?

In general the fam is doing well. Wifey is training for a marathon currently and cranked out a 20 mile run this weekend in  super craptastic weather. You can read about her exploits at tueslife.tumblr.com … she is amazing, and I have to say super hawt and sexay.  She is a badass. We have determined through countless hours of observation that Little Man is quite possibly the nicest person in the family… and that goes to seriously extended family as well.  He is just a wonder.  I wish I could be as nice as him.  Today after watching some Star Wars: The Clone Wars episodes he went upstairs and recreated the whole ep with his LEGO’s… seriously a great builder.  He is a badass. As I am typing this, it is currently just before midnight on Sunday Jan 15th, and my 3 year old girl is testing boundaries. The boundary she is testing currently has to do with going to sleep.  So, she is stubborn.  That being said, earlier today she was playing dress-up as a fairy princess.  Her particular fairy princess has a cutlass and a knife and two-weapon fights a la the dagger/rapier combo.  She is a badass.  To sum up, the fam is badass.

Question 19: Is there anything specific that you will take away from these 20 Questions that you didn’t realize you were bringing in?

Well, one of the things that stood out to me about a number of the questions was their duel nature: are you a day person or night, extrovert or introvert, etc. To each of which, my answers were “neither”…. Or “both”…

These questions totally fucked with my head for a minute. Why? Well, I believe that one of my personal keys to happiness is creating the right blend of decisiveness and openness. To spending too long worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter can lead to the path of unhappiness. So decisiveness is key to cutting through the overgrowth in life. And openness to happiness and failure. People talk about being open to life’s experiences, which is totally fine, if you’re willing to let the outside forces of life guide you… Which I completely “get”… I’ve lived that kind of life too.., but I also believe that if you want to form your life into want you want it to be, you can’t be open to “everything”. You have to make your mind up about where you want to take your life and be willing to live with the consequences..

Now, to be clear, I have an inherent sense of morals as a guide.. Respect is given when it’s earned, be there for your friends and family, listen more then you speak (need to work on this one), etc.. (BTW, I realize that those are mottos I live by, see earlier question.. But I don’t necessarily recant them to myself very often… They’re mostly hard wired in)..  Between this moral code and my half-assed rules for personal happiness, I think of myself as a fairly clear minded person.

After answering the dualistic questions with. “neither” or “both”.. I felt wishy-washy.. It had me thinking, how can someone be decisive AND be so open to “night or day”, “extroverted or introverted”…  Then “openness” hit me. I remembered that because I’m cool with both sides of the coin doesn’t mean I’m indecisive.. And hopefully it means I get to pocket the coin.

Here is the deal. If you are not a Buddhist, you may want to re-think your spiritual path. For you, it seems like life is the comfort of the yin and the yang. The deft maneuvering between the this or that states that our little minds tend to impose on the world. You are fuzzy math in a bivarite system.  That is one of the reasons, I think, you will, in the end, be a raging success.

Question 20: What is next for you?

I have a couple pitches I’m working on. And some other things that are possible very very cool, but I wouldn’t want to jinx anything.

Well, that was delightful.  I want to Thank Aaron again, because he rocks. Whatever is next, you will do well.  Follow him on the Twitters at @AaronKuder and check out his art in his online portfolio.

To recap:
This 20 Questions was a shit ton of fun
Lots of stuff not working at the work today
I have spent many an hour today trying to make them work
Sadly, this involves lots of progress bars

If I were to open a bar, it would be called the “Progress Bar” and a bar of light would slowly crawl across the building front though out the evening with a percentage of how much longer the bar would be open that night
I would expect many digital artists and programmers to be the clientel
I am loving Star Wars: The Old Republic
I have 4 characters on the “Keller’s Void” server
Look me up
I am a Zabrak Sith Warrior named Pa’apa
I love it when you call me big Pa’pa
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 182 - Dave Myers aka "Ballpoint"

I know that I have interviewed other people that I have met on my Internet home away from home, Ten Ton Studios.  The place is really is one of the best hives of scum and villainy I have found on the Internets.  The place is really a collection of insanely talented artists who happen to have the social skills of that annoying kid everyone knew in 7th grade.  You know the kid, the one that always made the “I’m sleeping with your mother/sister/girlfriend” jokes when you know that they cannot even get a date.  Anyway… today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is with one of the artists within the Ten Ton Studios community, Dave Myers.  Dave tends to skew angry in his posts, either on Ten Ton or (if you know him) on the Facebooks.  He enjoys drawing skulls juxtaposed with non-skull like things, but I imagine he is a fluffly little bunny on the inside.  So let’s find out.
 
On to the questions…
 
Question 1: Are you a fluffy little bunny on the inside?

 I skew angry?  I’ll have to work on that.
I have been accused on several occasions of being a teddy bear, I have also been accused of acting like a silver-back gorilla, depending on which day of the week it is.
I have never been associated with a fluffy bunny though.
I would say no, I am not a fluffy bunny on the inside, but, I have eaten rabbit before, does that count?

I don’t think eating rabbit equates to being a fluffy bunny on the inside.  I also think I probably should have said “skews cynical” instead of “skews angry.” Question 2: What comic book (as precise as you can be) was it that got you hooked on comics?  For me it was an over-sized DC Superfriends and an over-sized Justice League comic book that I would trace images out of.  

I guess that really equates to having had a formerly fluffy bunny on the inside, anywho.
The comic that got me hooked on comics, that is a 2 parter.
The 1st comic I ever read was What If #23. It was a Hulk story.
That’s when I was like “whoa, comics are rad!!” and I read comics on occasion, when my parents would pick them up for me.
I used to draw while I listened to my Spider Man “rockcomic” LOL.
It wasn’t until I got the Dark Knight Returns, that i was like “Holy SHIT THAT is the coolest Fucking thing I’ve ever seen!!” that’s when the hooks set in the deepest.

It’s crazy.  When you talk with people who enjoy drawing comic booky things, they know which issue exactly drew them in.  My comic book experience that really pulled me in and got the sequential hooks in me was Captain America 237, Captain America 245, and Captain America 250.  Captain America was my guy.  He was the super hero that really made me like comic books.  Question 3: Who was your guy?  What character is the one you first made “your hero?”

That fluctuates.
If I had to pick just one, I go Batman, he’s been the most consistent.
I started with Hulk, I was obsessed with the Hulk when I was a kid. Then I discovered Spider Man, and was really into him.
When I got bit by the Batman bug though, Norm Breyfogle had just started his Detective run, I loved his style.
I stuck to mostly Batman/Detective,but also became enamored with Frank Miller. So then it was onto Wolverine/Daredevil, etc.
Lately, though, my “guy” is Deadpool.
I would give my left arm to draw a Deadpool book.

Yeah, I went through my X-phase with the Clermont/Romita Jr days and then I read properties that I had ties to through toys like GI Joe and Transformers.  Then came the great dormancy of comic book reading which I am slowly recovering from.

I know that drawing comic book stuff is not your job (even though it is what you want to do), so I know that drawing is a large part of what you do during your down time. Question 4: What other activities do you do to eat up your limited to non-existent free time?

I have zero free time.
Between having a new girlfriend, and spending as much time as I can with her. She has 2 girls that live with us, my teenage son lives with us as well, AND we just got a new puppy.
Limited to non-existent are the key words there!!
Its all I can do to stay current with the few TV shows I actually watch.
I used to enjoy woodworking, that was fun when I had a garage, but, I never really dedicated a whole lot of time to it.
I play video games on occasion, Call of Duty mostly.
If I do have a spare minute though, its usually spent drawing, or, lately,  cleaning up dog shit.

So, in the 20 Questions Tuesday: 180 with Paul Gilmartin, I mentioned that my day job is to look at computer representations of holes in the ground.  Question 5: What is your day job?

Day job is I work for an aerospace company as an Inventory Control Manager.
To translate, I keep track of approximately 2.5 mil. dollars worth of aerospace parts in our inventory system. I do this by myself now, while the owner of my company buys $80k sports cars weeks after I have to lay off 3 of my employees.
What was that about cynical again?? … .
Oh yeah, I skew cynical, sorry. Let me re-phrase;
I am happy to have a solid career during these tough economic times !!

I just want to draw … .

I have always found that people who are paying attention tend to skew cynical. A favorite question of mine coming up… Question 6: Cake or Pie? What type of cake or pie is the favorite? (I have noticed while this question is pretty flip of a question, it is surprisingly insightful).
Oh this one is easy.

Pie, … all day long.
More specifically; Key Lime Pie,

even more specifically than that, Publix Key Lime Pie

(a supermarket down here in Fla.) Even though I can’t really eat it any more, I love that stuff!! It’s on my “Death Row Dinner List”

There were Publix’s in Birmingham before I left, although I am pretty sure they have been run out of town by now.  Question 7: Why can you no longer consume said key lime pie from Publix?

No one runs Publix out of town ! ! ! !
Publix decided Birmingham was not worth it’s time.
Publix is like the Chuck Norris of grocery stores, it does what it wants.
I can’t do any sweets anymore because I used to be REALLY fat, I was up to 426 lbs. at one point in time.
I stopped drinking anything carbonated (no beer, soda, etc.) , stopped eating any sweets, and I completely cut out red meat from my diet.
Then I started running, and working out a lot.
Don’t go thinking I’m a pinnacle of health though.
Yes,  I do maintain a fairly healthy diet now, but, that is delicately balanced with cigarettes, coffee, and bacon any time I can get my hands on it.
I have managed to maintain a steady 200 lbs. for the past 8 years.
My girlfriend, my couch, my chairs, and my wallet all appreciate it.

That is some serious will power.  I know that I could not give up red meat and I love cheesecake too much to say goodbye forever to it.  Kudos to you for dropping the insane weight.  Well done!  I have peaked at 250 lbs and since this June I have slowly dropped down to 230-ish.  I need to continue down to the 200 area, so that is a 2012 New Year’s resolution.  Seriously, good on you, mate!  The fact that you have done this for 8 years is seriously significant.  Question 8: So, when is smoking going to be in your crosshairs for elimination? It is the last health hurdle…

It’s not.

Its the only vice I have left. Maybe when I get lung cancer or something I’ll consider it.
Until then, cigarettes and coffee are the only 2 things keeping me off of the 11 o’clock news.

Besides, if I keep smoking, I won’t get Alzheimer’s!! So I have that going for me.

It is all a trade off, isn’t it?  I personally just cannot give up my Green Mistress. Mountain Dew is the sugar I just cannot quit.  Question 9: So, what is your geographic story?  Where all have you lived?

I was born here in Florida, about 15 miles from where I live now.
When I was 5, we moved out to Oregon for 7 years, then moved back.
I hate Florida, it sucks down here. I have lived here long enough to earn the right to bitch about it!!
I have toyed with the idea of moving a few times, but, unfortunately, it never panned out.
Now I fear I’m stuck here forever, my girlfriend loves it here.

So you went coast to coast without stopping in the middle for a spell.  It isn’t bad enough that you hate your job, you are such an over achiever, you hate where you live as well.  That’s dedication.

Question 10: Put these three genres in order from favorite to least favorite and justify your answer: sci-fi, fantasy, horror

1)sci-fi - Because Star Wars, that’s why.

2)fantasy - I would have put horror above this , until last week. Then i watched the 1st season of “Game of Thrones” SOO badass.
I like a lot of Fantasy, but, I don’t like it when it’s overly “glammy” or too polished. Like LOTR, I’m not a huge fan, its just too “neat” for me.
I like “grungy” fantasy. If that makes sense.

3)horror - I love some horror movies, not the shitty ones like “saw” and “hostel” those are just stupid gorefests.
I like monsters, and, a plot.

For me it goes fantasy, sci-fi, and then horror.  But to me horror seems to be a sub-genre of other genres.  Alien is Sci-Fi horror, and then the more mainstream horror is either set in the real world with something fantastic added in, which would be like modern fantasy to me. The other big reason I would put horror as 3 is because I don’t like it.  

So Question 11: Have you ever thought about self publishing a comic book through ka-blam or kickstarter?  If so, what is the book’s over arching idea?

I have thought about it several times.
I haven’t done it yet though.
My problem is that, I can’t seem to get together a good team. I’m not a one man show, nor do I want to be.

I can come up with ideas, but, I’m not a good writer, I can pencil and ink, but, I am slow and not very good at computer coloring.
If I could put together a good core team of people, that could commit to doing something, I would pursue it.

The main one I want to do is the one you colored a bit of (until my writer flaked on me and I had to scrap the story and start over). Basically its the story of a hillbilly guy the gets a hold of an enchanted Katana. I won’t reveal the title, because, its one of the best parts of the idea LOL.

Another idea I have is a story about a child that gets infused with the Higgs Boson particle after its created by the Large Hadron Collider, he receives god like powers, and is then hunted by a former over the hill super hero that wants his power so he can be relevant again.

I also have a few others, but, those are the main 2. I’m kind of working with a publisher on a book that may or may not happen some time this year. (that is VERY preliminary)

I loved the property that you had me do some colors on.  I think with how much your line work has progressed, you should re-do some of the pages without as much shading, and let me do better colors on them.  That is my 2 cents.  So what I am hearing is that you need a writer…  we can talk about doing colors later not on this blog… (ooooh cryptic)

Question 12: Since you live in Florida, and you seem to dislike it muchly, where do you prefer to take vacations?

We will have to discuss that further … .

I actually like Florida, its the people I hate.
I know that sounds terrible, but, if you lived here you’d understand.
As for vacations, you assume i have enough money to take vacation?? HA, I go nowhere.
I haven’t taken a “proper vacation” in over a year, and even then it was just to New Jersey.
I was with my ex, which, really can’t be considered a vacation. It was more like missionary work.

Yes, yes, I get it. You haven’t been able to go on vaca, but Question 13: Where would you like to go for a vacation?

Until it melted, I would have said Japan, I’m scared to go there now with all the radiation. I would say somewhere either super tropical (Fiji, the Maldives, Bora Bora etc). Somewhere I can fish for crazy stuff I’ve never seen. Although, a month alone in a log cabin somewhere does sound nice too.

Japan did go to the shitter… both geologically and nuclearly… That was quite a number being done to the Land of the Rising Sun.  But basically you like it hot and wet…. That didn’t come out right.

In college I worked at a Nordic Track as a salesman, I worked at a Barnes & Noble for a bit, spent my grad school days as a teaching assistant, then professionally as a Cartographer/Designer at an A&E firm, then a failed stint in a non-profit, and currently a geo-tech job for the State DOT, and I have done some freelance work here and there…  Question 14: What has your career path been like?

Career path? Christ, that’s a mess.
I had kids real young, so when I was in my early twenties, I had whatever job(s) I could get. I literally worked 4 jobs at one point in time. I worked in a statue factory, worked for a company that made gaudy touristy Florida seashell art, I did some telemarketing, worked construction, etc.

It wasn’t until maybe 23 that I settled down enough to have only 1 job. I worked for a customer service center for 3 years , It was then that I got into tatttooing. I did that as a 2nd job for a couple of years. I had built up a bit of a following, so, I bit the bullet and made that the full time gig. I did pretty well at it for a couple of years, then, all of the sudden out of nowhere, a bazillion tattoo shops opened up, and business got real bad.

So, I went back to a “normal” job. I started to move my focus to doing some graphic design work on the side.

I worked at a medical supply company for a few years, then got a better job offer at a mail order medical supply company. I left that job, almost 6 years ago, for the current job I have now. I have been working for an aerospace company for the past 6 years. (while doing all my “art stuff” on the side when the opportunity presents itself)

HO-Lee shit that is all over the place. So, Question 15: Most tattoo artists have tats themselves, how many do you have? and what are they?

Not as many as you might think.
I have a total of 8, a few of those are numerous tattoos in a cluster though.
lets see, … .

Right ankle - a Snook (fish)

Right Calf from knee to ankle  - hammerhead shark

Right thigh - Celtic knotwork design (done while apprenticing)

Right upper arm 1/2 sleeve - Collage of comic book villains (Joker, Venom, Dr. Doom, and Magneto)

Left upper arm 1/2 sleeve - a big skull with some old school tribal around it, capped off with Celtic knotwork (not my most well thought out tattoo)

Left forearm 1/2 sleeve - This area currently “under construction” I had a big grim reaper with tribal, to which I recently added a samurai on the other side.
I’m turning the tribal into a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree, that will split my arm in half lengthways with the samurai looking over his shoulder, on one side of the tree and the reaper, looking back, on the other.

Left calf (back) - Tattoo machine with hot rod flames around it.

Left ankle -A hodge podge of stuff, I used to test out my machine on my ankle, so there’s a few undefined patterns on ther. LOL, its a mess.

I have one tattoo on my back, that I would to get some work added onto it, make it bigger, badder, and more better bad-assery than it already is… Just hard to part with the money and time to get it done. If you were local I would demand you come out of tattoo retirement and ink something on me.  Demand, I say!  I also think you are selling yourself short on the number of tats you have since you consider a sleeve and partial sleeve to be considered one tattoo.

Question 16: So is there anything I didn’t ask you that I should have?

Hmmm. Lets see . .

I told you not to ask about my collection of midget porn, so that one is off the list.
You didn’t ask about my time in ‘nam, but, I won’t talk about that, it’s just too painful.
We also didn’t cover my extensive Ninja training in the foothills of Mt. Fuji, but, I don’t want to disclose much of that.
sooo , uh, no.

I was unaware of that you are a ninja, Nam vet , short porner.  Good to know.
Question 17: Anything you want to ask me?

Yeah, what do you hope to achieve by interviewing no name, dummies like myself and Steve Willhite?

Answer: I have stated this before in other places when I have interviewed other non-famous people… I usually choose the people that interest me and whom I think answer different questions interestingly.  So far, I have not been disappointed. Everyone I have asked 20 questions tend to have had interesting answers.  Most people in the world are not even famous in a their very particular niche, and they are still interesting.  If I can create a conversation that is interesting for anyone else, it is a great interview.

Question 18: Is there something you want all the people (there are a solid 20 people who read this) to know about you? 25 people… pressure is on…

That depends, are those people looking to hire a mediocre artist for a ton of money? If not, then no.

Hell, If I knew those people, I wouldn’t be stuck at this crap job for the State.

Question 19: Since we are still near the beginning of the year, is there anything you want to say goodbye to from 2011 and is there anything you want to say hello to in 2012?

2011 was both the absolute worst and, at the same time, the absolute best year of my life.

I’m glad that its over, and I really am looking forward to a way better time in 2012
(Until Dec. 21st anyways, when, you know, Quetzalcoatl or Cthulhu will come and end the world.)

For 2011 I am saying goodbye to complacency… I need to keep things moving by myself and not wait for others to make things move for me.  I am saying hello to the fact that one cannot have larger success without some failure.

Question 20: Is there anything that you are taking away from these 20 questions?

I’m taking lots away ! !
I have discovered what an insanely boring person I am, and I am pretty snarky about it.
I am also seeing that I need to take a vacation.

I have also discovered that you apparently have way more free time on your hands than you should.
Go draw something for gods sakes.

I should draw more, but busting out the sketch book at work is frowned upon, even when I am merely watching progress bars slowly creeping across the screen. Emailing people, is something I can do… okay everyone… Dave is available for commissions, and would love for you to buy his work/hire him  etc… check out his website and follow him on the Twitters.

A Dave Myers original

To recap:

More interviews on the way
Just had to search nearly a terabyte of data for some files from 7-2009
15% complete…. been running for 10 minutes
So’s I have some time on my hands
Yeah me
The game is afoot, Watson!
Do you have your service revolver?
Bring it.  Things might get touchy
I need a haircut, but nearly as much as Little Man needs a haircut
Gonna have something cheap for lunch today
Woo-hooo
42% complete…. 1 hour in
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 181 - Jackie Kashian

I have decided that I will eschew Internet convention and not make today’s post about New Year’s resolutions.  Mainly because only one person responded to my call for resolution questions and I have 20 Questions Tuesday with Comedian Jackie Kashian in the can…. A good way to start the year, iffens you ask me.

As many of you out there know in Internetlandia, I am white, male, and geeky.  I pretty much revel in my white geekiness.  Quite happy with it indeed.  I cannot say that I have always been happy about my geekery and my dorkiness, but as I have gained in age and wisdom and become more fully who I am by accepting and embracing what makes up the “me” in me, I have found that I am happily a nerd, geek, or dork pending on one’s definition of such people.

 

In the 30+ hours of podcasts I listen to, one that has been consistently enjoyable is The Dork Forest hosted by Jackie Kashian.  In this podcast she chats with people about their own personal dorkiness. Topics range from typical dork tropes like science fiction, comic books, fantasy, and games to more obscure topics such as true crime, and her now famous within her circles podcast on bee husbandry.  Each and every episode is interesting on its own, and they are consistently interesting because of the safe space that Jackie creates for her guests and her typically facile hosting. 

Jackie is a comedian based out of L.A. who grew up in Wisconsin.  She brings a different point of view to her comedy and is lovely to listen to.  More than that, she has graciously agreed to answer 20 questions from little old me (with a potential to ask me 20 questions in return).  Enough of the jibber-jabber, on to the Questions!

I ask this of all my 20 Questions interviewees.  I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, moved up to Birmingham for a good long while, went to college in Kent, Ohio, and ended up settling down in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born and raised, youngest of six, in South Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Its own town with its own water treatment plant, south of Milwaukee, against the shore of Lake Michigan. It was bucolic and yet has created some rage issues. I went to College at the UW – Madison, I lived three summers (pretty sure, I was very drunk) in Provincetown, MA working at a hotdog stand, selling footlong dogs to transvestites and reaffirming that I wasn’t gay. I then lived in Milwaukee for six months with my sister. Then I moved to Minneapolis for 6 years. Then I moved to LA where I have lived here almost 15 years.

Question 2: Of all the dorkdoms with which you claim citizenship, which one would you say is the most near and dear to your heart?

I’m a reader. I read most anything (cept horror, as it is scary) and do it a LOT. I read a lot of fiction: Mysteries, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Westerns, Modern Lit, Romance novels. I read classic literature as well, though not as oftenl. I also read more and more non-fiction, histories and biographies mostly. Sometimes think it’s quantity rather than quality with me and the reading.

Question 3: As a touring comedian, do you try to use only one airline to collect points as you traverse the country or do you just go with the best deal of the day when you purchase the tickets?

God I wish. I’ve had a couple “points” dorks on the show and they are ADAMANT in keeping to one airline/hotel/credit card. I am just starting to do this. I usually just go with best deal.

Let’s do this…  you say you have a love of chicken, here is what my little girl loves to eat and as a parent, I love to make for her: 

Simple & Easy Baked Chicken Drums

• 5 or 6 chicken drums
• 1/4 cup butter/margarine
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1/4 tsp pepper

melt the butter on a plate
mix the dry ingredients on another plate
coat the chicken with the melted butter
dredge the chicken in the flour mixture
preheat the oven to 425 F
arrange chicken in a baking pan
bake for 50 minutes
viola

Question 4: What is your favorite chicken recipe?

Well that looks amazing. My favorite chicken recipe is the chicken in front of me. I will tell you this…. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts are the devil’s work. Don’t eat them on purpose. It’s something you eat OUT. You don’t inflict that on your FAMIILY. You love them.  Here’s my fave but there’s a bunch on my bakespace page  http://www.bakespace.com/recipes/member/14732/

Grilled Yogurt Chicken with Mint

Whole chicken cut into 8 pieces

1 cup plain yogurt

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

5 cloves garlic, minced

Zest (rind) of one lemon, minced

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint leaves

2 teaspoons cumin

1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt

DIRECTIONS
1. In a bowl big enough to marinate the chicken (or in a bag), combine the yogurt, olive oil, garlic, lemon zest, mint leaves, cumin, cayenne pepper, and salt; Add the chicken to the yogurt marinade, turning to coat both sides; cover with plastic wrap (or put in a plastic bag). Let marinade in the refrigerator at least 8 hours, preferably 24 hours.

2. Preheat the oven 400 degree F. (unless you’re grilling, this is great grilled).

3. (If you grill put the chicken - skin down to sear, 15min, turn, cook another 20-30 til done) If you bake, sear the chicken – skin down – in a cast iron pan or hot hot skillet for 15min. Then put the chicken, skin up, in a baking dish (or keep in in the cast iron) and bake for another 20 or 30 til done.

4. Meat thermometer should register an internal temperature of 165 degrees F. (juices will run clear when cut with the tip of a knife).

Question 5: Pie or cake and which of pie or cake and why (three questions in 1…. it is how I roll)?

Pie. Cake is not my downfall. Pie is fine… I really would prefer to eat chicken. Cherry, Apple or Pumpkin are the preferred pies of choice. But, I probably eat whatever pie there is.

Question 6: I know that you love the comic books… do you tend to follow characters, artists, or writers?  For me, when I had the discretionary income to buy comics, I followed John Romita Jr from X-Men, to Daredevil, to Punisher…

I would say that I default to writers, then characters. Like, initially (7 years ago when I started reading comics) I chose story… non-superhero story. Stuff like Hard Times (Steve Gerber) Y the Last Man (Brian K. Vaughn), and  Lucifer (Mike Carey) were my first choices. Planetary and Ministry of Space (Warren Ellis) too. Then I read a bunch of superhero stuff and I took those authors with me. X-Men were the easiest to get into initially. The first movie had just come out and I was introduced that way, again. The first artist I remembered, and still will buy anything he writes or draws, is Kyle Baker. He drew Truth  (the black Captain America story), he wrote and drew this amazing arc of Plastic Man. I LOVE this Image title he did, Special Forces.  Right now I think I’m reading 40 titles a month. It’s ridiculous. And… awesome.

Speaking of comic books, I am a member of an online community of comic-booky people at the Ten Ton Studios forums (populated by Chris Burnham, Reilly Brown, Khoi Pham, and some other cats).

Question 7: Do you belong to any online communities, and if so, what do they center around?

I do not. I belong to the incredible communities of facebook and twitter. I talk to those people about whatever they want. Until it gets creepy. Then they are blocked.

Question 8: Concerning your podcast, who would you consider to be dream guests? I, for one, would love to hear you dork out with Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stan Lee (not necessarily at the same time, but I wouldn’t rule it out).

Wow… I do not know Neil. I DO know several dorks who work at JPL though… heh. (Jet Propulsion Lab, works on the Spitzer Space Telescope). I would love to talk to famousy dorks. Like, people who others (including me) dork out about, but who are also giant fans of things. Wil Wheaton, Nathan Fillion and then just heroes of mine, like Albert Brooks and Dick Cavett. But I’m also psyched about finding the elusive NEXT awesome dorkdom that I didn’t know exist. Like … I don’t know – a Japanese Sneaker dork. Someone who’s really into sports field turf. I don’t know. Something weird and awesome.

Question 9: A: What is your favorite color? B: What color is your toothbrush?  C: If the answers to A and B are not the same color, please explain.

A. hunter green or a deep purple. (I’m an adult I get two). B. a crummy purple C. my choices were limited.

I am stuck on a break at work, when I could be home playing Star Wars: The Old Republic…

Question 10: What game are you wanting to play right now?

LOTR Boardgame. I WISH I had a new video game to play. Quite honestly I’ve been afraid to start one as I have productivity issues. But I do love me a video game. Zelda. FFLegend. Prince of Persia. (anything from this century Jackie?) That there SKYRIM looks kinda cool.

Question 11: How much time do you get to play games in your life?  I know that, while it seems otherwise, your schedule is crazy busy with the comedy and podcasting and life and stuff.

Now, why would it seem otherwise? We spend a fair amount of time playing games: Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Champions, and then just regular board games. My husband is a game designer. You know that hacky question that ladies are supposedly asking their loved ones? “What are you thinking about?” We had that conversation ONCE. He asked me, I said, “comedy.” I asked him back and he said, “games.” And I figure he’s still thinking about games (b/c I’m still thinking about comedy).

So, I cannot help but be addicted to my caffeinated Green Mistress, Mountain Dew…

Question 12: Do you have any addictions?

Treated? Food, booze, and lethargy. Not treated? sugar though. Weirdly.

Just as an FYI, asking a comedian 20 questions and avoiding comedy topics is rather difficult.  So, I will now strive to ask odd comedy questions… Question 13: So the Three Stooges seem to be funny mainly (almost solely) by men, why is that?

That’s what they say. I dunno. I like the 3 Stooges better than Laurel and Hardy but I’ve been told that I’m an idiot for that. So I’ve been tasked (by many of the male comics in my life) to watch them again, as the guys told me, “because they are so much better than the 3 stooges.” Whatever. I like George Cukor.

Question 14:  Have any of the guests you have had on the Dork Forest actually made you feel uncomfortable because of their fanaticism associated with their dorkdom? Anyone too fervent in their wild-eyed love such that it made you want to avoid eye contact and back away slowly?

Heh. So far, so good. Some of the people are super intense but it’s only dork expeditions, where I’ve gotten into a car with a super fan who’s taking me to their lair, which I’ve had to say, “Hey! Hostage situation over here… I have a show tonight. I need to get back to the hotel.” People are VERY aware that the thing they love is just that, the thing THEY love. Which is good. I’m interested, but I’m not taking up … ice climbing just because you love it.

Question 15: Is there a dork forest topic out there that you are surprised you haven’t found someone to come on your podcast and wax eloquent?

Nope. Got any suggestions? Because if I put it out there… someone will come forward. I HAVE asked about a porn dork but I want it to be academic, not creepy. That has weeded out a lot of comics I know.

I process geo-referenced data concerning the underlying geology of Ohio in regards to the state’s transportation network.  Oddly, when I get home, I don’t want to deal with geology or holes in the ground or state transportation infrastructure.

Question 16: Do you dislike being funny when you are at home chilling, or does your computer game designer husband stay away from computer games when he is home?  Could be both…

I am hilarious all the time. In written form I’m mostly sincere and amusing. Verbally I’m hilarious. Because I’m riffing I guess. Or the filter is off when I’m talking. Unlike the typing.

Question 17: What are you happy to say good bye to from 2011 and what are you looking forward to welcoming in 2012?

—Jackie Missed this question… or avoided it— Thanks, the editor

Question 18: What is your personal third rail of comedy? What topic is your own private white whale of funny?

I don’t know that third rail is… cool kid question?

White Whale – had to give it up. Had to get sane and admit defeat. I used to read Cathy every day. EVERY DAY. In the hopes that I would write a joke SO POWERFUL that she would stop making that comic strip.

Question 19: Any questions I didn’t ask that I should have?

nope. Seems good.

Question 20: Did you have any insights about anything whilst answering these 20 questions? Did this process teach you anything about anything?

Sadly no. I blame society.

Everyone go to jackiekashian.com for Jackie’s information, and give her a follow at @jackiekashian on the Twitter… she is funny… Buy “It’s Never Going to be Bread” it will make you laugh.

To recap:
Jackie is an amazanaut, exporing the amazasphere
Scrappy Doo was the single worst thing to happen to the Scooby Doo franchise
Even more worster than the subsequent addition of the Tibetan kid, Flim-Flam
That’s right, A 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo reference
Suck on that Internet…. Suckle on that obscurity
You tried to forget it, but I brought it back

Happy New Years by the way
So much happening this week
None of it involves me and cheesecake
That makes me a little sad
Not super sad
Bought some art stuff this weekend with Christmas money
Sitting at work and not getting into anything interesting
Or uninteresting, for that matter
Really unmotivated due to the ennui of this place
…and the belly seems a but uncomfortable
That does not bode well for the rest of the day
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 180 - Paul Gilmartin

This week, I have the distinct honor of asking 20 questions to comedian Paul Gilmartin. Many people may know him from his insanely long stint as host of “Dinner and a Movie” on TBS.  Some people may know him from his stand-up comedy. He has a biting sense of humor, that he had to keep in a bag, tucked in a corner of a locker in the back of a neighboring building while he was hosting Dinner and a Movie. Many may know him from his guesting on various podcasts and radio shows as his character Rep. Richard Martin. This character is a polarized version of a generic far right congressman out of Ohio.  It causes him much grief via the twitters because many people don’t quite understand the concept of satire.  Some others of you may also know him from his most current on-going project, The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.  This podcast is a series of very candid conversations with mainly creative types in the entertainment business about mental illness.  It is an amazing podcast and should be required listening for anyone looking to go into the crazy ass entertainment industry.  
 
This podcast, while amazingly interesting and wonderfully engaging, poses a problem for me asking 20 questions… In many ways, Paul Gilmartin’s life is a pretty much an open book. This will make asking very interesting questions that have not been covered a rather difficult task to be sure.
 
Paul has graciously given me permission to ask him 20 questions… so let’s get to it. Onto the Questions!
 
So, you have mentioned on your podcast and other podcasts you have guested on, that you play hockey… Question 1: What position do you play? and why that position?

Hockey.  Awesome.  My favorite subject (other than me), and this is even better because I get to talk about hockey AND me.  Let me ease my pants off…there we go.

I play defense.   Three reasons:  you don’t have to skate as hard as forwards do; you don’t have to be as creative with the puck; you tend to be more of a reactor than an initiator.

Players with crazy-good stickhandling skills tend to be forwards.  With defense, it’s more reading opposing players well and knowing their tendencies, you can be really efficient with your energy and don’t have to be in great shape.   I’m 48, so I’m not going to be able to blow past a 20 year-old, but I’m a little tubby, so if he’s trying to blow past me, I can step in his path and let my tubby do the talking.   In a nutshell, defense is a great position if you’re observant, out of shape, not great at scoring and enjoy collisions.

Great answer.  My room-mate in college for my freshman and sophomore year played hockey as a forward… oddly he played with stand-up comedian Steve Byrne for the club hockey team at Kent State.  Since he played club hockey and not varsity he had to store his equipment in our dorm room…. oh, god the smell.. sweet jeebus, the smell.  Question 2:  Where does your wife allow you to store your, I assume, dank, smelly-ass equipment? (cause seriously, she may not have all the power in the relationship {she might} but I imagine she at least has veto power on where your sweaty, odoriferous, bacteria ridden equipment should be stored) on the other hand…. since you play in the adult league, are you only wearing shins, knees, elbows, and gloves?

I keep my equipment in the garage.  There are few things on the planet that smell worse than hockey equipment, especially gloves.  That’s why NHL guys rub the palm of their gloves in opposing players faces when there is a scrum.   They call it a “facewash”.    I wear full gear, including shoulder pads, which some guys don’t wear, and a cage on my helmet, which isn’t mandatory either.  I’ve seen too many people sustain serious damage to their faces.  Lost teeth, detached corneas, you name it.   In fact one time I accompanied a teammate to the hospital and watched him get 80 stitches in his scalp.  He had taken his helmet off during warmups and a stray puck hit him.   I’m shocked that anybody can play without a cage or a visor and not be worried.

God, I wish I had a garage to put John’s equipment in for those 2 years… Seriously, that would have made all the hockey worth it. Question 3: When and where did you learn to play hockey?  Was it a Chicago thing? Because Illinois is not really a hotbed for hockey, is it?

I learned to play hockey on the frozen ponds in the Chicago winters.   I was never given instruction as a kid, so I just picked up what I could by watching other kids.  Hockey was popular in my neighborhood during the winter, but it was not played by many people during the summer months in ice rinks.   

Chicago is actually a pretty big hockey town.  The Chicago Blackhawks are one of the original 6 NHL teams and have had a couple of heydays in their 80 year existence.  Right now, they are in one and probably as popular with Chicagoans as any of the other sports teams.   Their games have been selling out for a couple seasons running.  Unusual for any American hockey city.   Definitely helped by the fact that they won the Stanley Cup in 2010.  Ending a 49 year drought.

Interesting, if asked I would not have mentioned Chicago, off hand, as a hockey town. In retrospect, it makes sense, but I would have picked Michigan and Minnesota before anywhere in Illinois.  Anyway… I usually ask this as question 11, but it feels really natural here.  I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.  Question 4:  What is your geographic history?

Chicago, Bloomington Indiana for college, back to Chicago, then to Los Angeles, where I currently reside.

I got my MA in geography, so this answer always intrigues me. So you moved from Indiana directly to LA.  Question 5: If I remember hearing correctly on your podcast, you got your degree in theatre, and you pretty much transitioned directly from Chicago (if you don’t count college time in Bloomington) to the heart of the entertainment industry,  when did you know you wanted to be in the business called “show?”

I moved from Chicago to Bloomington (81-86), graduated, then back to Chicago for seven years (87-94) before moving to LA in 1994.   I knew I wanted to be in show business by the time I was about 10 or 12, and would watch the Tonight Show and think being either Johnny Carson or one of the stand-ups was the coolest thing ever. I didn’t get the nerve to try performing until my senior year of high school by hosting the talent show.   I was pre-med at IU and my roommate talked me into signing up for a campus comedy competition.   I took an acting class to overcome my stage fright, fell in love with acting and stand-up and changed my major my junior year to theatre.

Interesting.  It is amazing how talent shows are kind of the gateway to performance. That being said, I did stand-up for my elementary school talent show in 3rd and 4th grade (or was it 4th and 5th?), and now I work for the state putting points on a map where the state has dug holes in the ground.  I wonder if I had done that for the high school talent show if I would have pursued it more now.

So, on a different tract, Question 6: Correct me if I am wrong, but you have been married for a good long while.  Where did you meet your wife, and how did that courting process work?

Met her when we were both doing standup in 1987 in Chicago.  Kind of a typical dating process. Moved in together in 88. Got married in 95. Still together. Oh, and she began feeling dead inside towards me in 89.

So it was the basic story.  Boy meets girl.  Boy tells girl bad joke. Girl Tells boy better joke. Boy realizes he is out of his league and vows to drag girl down to his level by hoodwinking her into some form of relationship so there is balance in the universe. I’ve heard it a million times before.

So, Question 7: You have a relatively long relationship with your wife and that relationship has survived the equivalent of millennia in the entertainment industry, what aspect of a long term relationship surprises you most? For example, my wife and I have found that, even 14 years in, it is still active and taxing work to maintain a healthy level of communication, worth it, but still work.

I’m not sure if anything surprised me as I didn’t really know what to expect.  But I would say that the cliche is true. Communication is the most important thing, and also knowing how to do it with diplomacy and love, even when I’m angry.  And of course I’m lucky to have someone who genuinely makes me laugh.

When my wife and I got married, she was studying to become a therapist.  Needless to say, communication became a necessity in our relationship.  For much of our early marriage, we even had a formalized times to sit down and talk with each other.  It was amazingly useful in really building a good foundation for our marriage. That being said, the person who genuinely makes you laugh is super important.  Which leads me to one of my mantras: “Funny over nice.”  When there is a choice between being funny and being nice, I usually go with funny.  My wife’s family has another mantra/motto that we constantly referred to is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” Question 8: Do you have any mantras?

Mantras.  Hmmmm.  I suppose a few are. Treat others as you’d like to be treated. Sometimes its good to keep your opinion to yourself. You can’t change people, only your reaction to them. If you’re stuck in the past or the future, you miss a lot of good stuff that’s happening right now. Take responsibility seriously but not yourself.

…Oh and never go to Vegas for longer than 48 hours.

All good mantras to hold onto.  Even though I have never been to Vegas, the 48 hour rule is probably the best rule-of-thumb I have heard in a while.
In a similar vein as the mantra question.  When I played soccer and fenced in college there was a ritualizing of how to prepare for a match that bordered on superstition. Question 9: Do you have any rituals for getting yourself prepared for doing stand-up or for doing appearances as your neo-con Representative character?

No rituals.   Just look over any notes or new jokes I want to work in.    Sometimes before I go on as Richard Martin, I talk in his voice while I wait in the wings.   The sound of his voice has a lot to do with how he smiles, and sometimes when I’m improvising answers as him, I forget the smile and lose the voice and it sounds like my voice instead of his.  Oh, and I sacrifice a welfare baby while I listen to smooth jazz.

Firstly, let me say, “smooth jazz?  You are a monster!”  

A few days ago on the Twitters you wrote “Engaging in my favorite Xmas tradition. People ask me how I’m doing, and I lie.” and I glibly replied something to the effect of, “could make it next question n the 20 Q’s Tuesday we’re working through.”  So Question 10:How are you really doing?

I struggle with my depression this time of year. That coupled with the fact that I’m having some problems with my psych meds. I’m having to do something I do quite a bit, which is to consciously tell myself that this is temporary, because it always is.    I know my shrink and I will get the med thing figured out, but in the meantime, there isn’t a lot of vigor for life or natural enjoyment of things. Just waiting it out. Feeling blah. Not horrible, just blah and tired of feeling blah.

Now, we are speaking my internal language (careful all five of you readers, it is about to get real, bitches!). I find that my depression is worse during the October time period more than the holidays. I think this has to do with my allergy to leaf mold coupled with a generic genetic predisposition to depression. It also rears its ugly head more around my birthday in June, but that is because of a particularly traumatic event that occurred on my 19th birthday.  The holiday season tends to be a very joyous time for me because everyone in my family around me tends to be insanely exuberant during this season.  Since you are in SoCal, I cannot imagine it is simply seasonal affective disorder.  Question 11: Is it the holiday season that triggers this level of dysthymia or do you have a different idea as to why the blahs come around in December.

I don’t know why it comes around this time.  Maybe the shortened days.  Maybe the reminder of the feeling that I should be happier around the holidays, and feel kind of broken as a result.  Or maybe residual feelings from my dad hitting an alcoholic bottom in 1992 right around Xmas.   But I remember feeling mixed up about Xmas even before that.

Question 12: So, how big of a liar do you feel Andy Williams was when he wrote the lyric “It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeear!”?

I think he should be sentenced to variety show jail for perjury.

So, speaking of Christmas songs, my two best friends have been having an argument about Christmas tunes since we were in high school.  Question 13: Bing Crosby or Burl Ives?

Bing Crosby.

That was a quick and easy reply, “Silver and Gold” and “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” don’t sway your position?  My bet is you picked Bing so fast because of the weird duet with David Bowie.  Question 14: back to the mental health stuff… How long have you been doing therapy, how long have you been on meds, and how many meds have you tried so far? People, I think are under the false assumption that they can just take prosac and the depression goes away…

I started therapy around 1990.  I’ve been going on and off since then.  I’ve tried about a dozen different meds and settled on three that usually work.   I’ve been on meds since 2000.

You give, so I give. Since my wife was going to be a therapist, it was mandantory that I go into theray… It helped so I have kept at it as needed. I started therapy with my wife, then girl-friend, as a couple’s counseling thing back in, I think, 1995 (definitely by 1996), and have been doing individual therapy off and on since then. I started anti-depressants I think in 1998 or so, went off for a while and am back on them again.  So far they seem to be working well enough.  I actually have some motivation now.  I think that some people are under the misconception that all therapists are good, and if the therapist they are seeing doesn’t work for them therapy never will work for them. I have seen four counselors total, and of those four two were really good. Question 15: How many counselors/clinicians/therapists have you been through in you 21 past years of therapy?

I’ve seen three different therapists and three different psychiatrists.

Question 16: Did you have a good rapport with all 6 of them or were some of them not quite a good match?  If they were not a good match, how so?

The therapists were good matches.  The first two psychiatrists weren’t helping me ease my depression.  The third did by addressing my alcoholism.  He refused to see me unless I quit drinking.

Ah, we are now into the rote questions at the end of all of my 20 Questions Tuesday interviews. Turn about is fair play, and I feel it is rather unfair to not allow you to ask me anything.  Question 17: With all of the topics we gave covered are there any questions that you want to ask me?

What do you do for a living?

Well I will be a little circumspect about this, just because I do not want my current employers to be able to do a super-simple Internet search and find this particular post.

I work for the geotechnical engineering section for the state Dept. of Transportation. I am the a Geographic Information Management Sciences specialist. I am in charge of all the geographically referenced data within our fine state that the DOT has collected. These collections are primarily done through digging bore-holes. The big project that I am currently working on is about getting all of our historic data (napkin drawings done in the 30’s in some instances) digitized and searchable both spatially and as a typical database. It is akin to watching paint dry.  I listen to probably 30 hrs of podcasts every week. I spend much of my time watching progress bars slowly creep across my screen, whether it is some complex query or instruction for a program to do, or just copying 303 Gb of data from one server to another. As you can tell, I am really quite passionate about it.

Then here we are at Question 18: Anything I should have asked you but I haven’t?

Not that I can think of.

Because this is clearly the best most complete set of questions you have ever dealt with.  To continue the wind up…

Question 19: How can people find you and follow your comings and goings on the interwebs?  Is there a specific place that you would want new people to start with? 

Well the thing I’m most involved in is the podcast, so I would say that site, www.mentalpod.com  I don’t keep up my paulgilmartin.com site but there are clips of my standup if people want that. Same for the site with my satirical character Rep. Richard Martin.  His site is www.askarepublican.com.     And I have three Twitter accounts. One for me @gilmartini  one for the podcast @mentalpod  and one for the character @ohiocongressman.

I can attest that all 3 twitter accounts are fun, and fun in different ways.  If you are on the twitters everyone, give Paul a follow.

The last and final question.  It has been a long and fun ride these past few weeks worth of emails, and I have honestly and thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Question 20: Did you learn anything new about yourself or did you come upon any insights about anything due to these 20 questions?

Can’t say I learned anything new about myself, but I’m a slow learner.   Thanks for taking an interest in me and the podcast though!

Well, I have to say that this has been an unabashed pleasure.  Again I want to thank Paul for taking time to chat with me via the emails.  This is, sadly, not a light undertaking, and to anyone who has done this with me, again I think you for taking the time.  If anyone wants to do a 20 Questions with me, or to ask me questions leave a comment.

To recap:
Paul Gilmartin is a bad ass and I will hear nothing else about him
I am lucky to have the wonderful family I have
Check that
I have worked very hard to have the wonderful family I have
I am lucky to have met each of the parts of my family
Have a safe and happy holiday
I finished the shopping for the holiday last night..
Now I just have to wait for all the stuff to be shipped
It better get here prior to Sunday
All my online orders were done last week
It is Santa vs ______ over at Ten Ton Studios’ Sketch Challenge this week
Come by and take a look
I am drawing mine tonight and I will finish it tomorrow
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 179 - Gifting

Well, it is Tuesday again and I am writing this here post.  Turns out that today the wife is out of town in Boston and the youngest kid is in ill and I am at home with the sickun.  She is sniffly and congested with a very low grade fever.  No biggie.  She is chomping on some BBQ potato chips and drinking some OJ.  I am quite the parent.  In my defense the chips are kettle cooked.

Today’s topic is Gifting.  Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Dr B Dawg, Nadolny, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions!

1. When your spouse says something like, “Let’s not give each other gifts this year. We already have so much.” How do you proceed? Is it better to disappoint or disobey?

I have made the mistake of not getting something “not on the list” for my wife, even when she said “Don’t worry about getting anything not on the list.”  I will always get a gift now, no matter what the fool woman says.

2. Put you and wifey in O Henry’s ”Gift of the Magi.” What would be your watch and her hair?

Hmmm… I have never thought of this one…  I guess I would have to sell some art supplies so that I could get her some vacation, and she would have to work through her vacation to get me some Bristol board.

3. Would you rather receive toe socks or a pedi-egg?

Toe socks… my feet are amazingly smooth and silky already. 

4. If Santa owed you a favor, what would you ask for?

I would ask for a ride on the sleigh… that sounds rather dirty.

5. Have you ever laughed at a gift, only to find it wasn’t meant to be a joke? Describe.

Well, my grandmother on my dad’s side always gives such inappropriate gifts and my parent’s are known for the “not-so-great” gifts.

6. Is there such a thing as a bad wrapped gift?

A badly wrapped gift? Or are you meaning a crap gift that has been wrapped?  Both are easily possible.

7. Are you a gift shaker?

Not since I was about 10. 

8. Do you prefer 1 big gift or a bunch of small gifts (assuming that both scenarios generated equivalent total happiness)

You know, as long as they bring the same total happiness, it doesn’t matter…. but they better bring me happiness, or there will be Hell to pay!

9. Oddest gift?

A quilted plastic Santa decoration door hanger.  It was Hawesome!!

10. Are you a re-gifter?

Very rarely, and typically only if we received a gift that is really high quality of something we just won’t use.  Think waffle iron.

11. Where do you fall on re-gifting?

As stated previously, as long as one is not re-gifting just to get rid of crap, is not necessarily a bad thing.  It becomes a bad thing when the re-gift is not thoughtful or the quality of the gift is crappy.

12. Ever re-gift something where the person who originally gave it to you found out?

Not that I know of.

13. Worst gift ever received? (OK, everyone asked that I’m sure).

A cheap green vinyl tablecloth that reeked of tobacco pipe smoke.

14. Best gift ever received? (How’s that for an original questionee)

The Looney Tunes Chess set… it was a back handed gift though, but that is a story for a different time.

15. If the great gift is giving, why are we being so selfish and sticking it to all these folk who must live with the second greatest gift (known as receiving). Aren’t we just damn selfish to be thrusting gifts upon our poor and unsuspecting friends.

I look at it as giving the gift of allowing them to give to me.  I am just giving in that way.

16. How many real gifts do the kiddies get?

Hmmm… a pretty good amount.  From Mama and Papa?  About 5 a piece, if I am remembering the lists correctly.

17. Does Wifey have something particular on her list this year that you aren’t able to procure?

Well, she is wanting an iPad 2, but we cannot spring for that cost at the moment. Maybe for Valentine’s Day, babe, maybe for Valentine’s Day.

18. What does Little Man want that he is just not getting this year?

Well, unless his uncle who is stationed in Germany comes through like a super-hero, either the LEGO Star Wars Super Star Destroyer or the Death Star.  Those both come in at $499.99 US.  No can do.  Wifey ain’t getting an iPad 2, and Little Man ain’t getting the Death Star.

19. What is on your list that you aren’t getting?

Well, I was hoping to have a new job by Christmas, but that is not happening.  Maybe by MLK Day 2012… keep your fingers crossed.

20.  Are you done with your Christmas shopping for all your gifts, this year?

Nope… In fact, I am off to Amazon.

to recap:
Little Woman is just a bit sick
Just sick enough to be incredibly whiny
Lucky me
Seriously whiny
I am currently making her some french fries
They are crinkle cut
You know the nutritious kind
After she eats it will be nap time
Crap I need lunch too
Have a great weekend, everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 178 - Contracts

My contract option with Job 2 was not picked up for the rest of the year due to some change that is taking place within that organization (new Executive Director coming in January).  It is not my preference to not be working there, but it is quite understandable, so no harm, no foul.  Alas and alack I am now professionally solely mired within Job 1… which is the suck.  regardless of my current employment situation, this non-renewing of my contract made me think of the idea of contracts. Therefore this week’s topic is an odd and obtuse topic of Contract.
 
Thanks this week go to  Lsig, Reilly Brown, Chris Ring, Ballpoint, Some Other Guy, and Brett Wood.  And no thanks go to Jason Baroody for not helping out at all.  On to the questions!

1. “Contracts” = part of “work”, “contractions” = part of “labor”. Coincidence?

Are you asking me if childbirth is work by using the transitive property?  Uh, childbirth is definitely work. 

2. What does it say about me that you mention “contract” and my brain fills in the word “killings”? (and what does it say about you that we are friends?)

Number 1: it says that you are one of the few people I know I will get along with
Number 2: it says that you and I most likely need significant psychiatric help.

3. Why isn’t a General Contractor someone who signs contracts with Generals?

By Generals, you mean the Washington Generals who play exhibition basketball games against the Harlem Globetrotters, Yes?  Well, that is a very small population to be able to claim that title…

4. Do you read the fine print in your contracts?

For service contracts and other typical run of the mill end user agreements for cell phone data plans and software EULA’s, no.  However, for contracts like mortgages or contracts for my work? Yes.  Does that mean that I understand what the fine print says?  Nope, it does not.

5. Do you think the small print gets upset about being just called “fine” all the time?

Well, when the print asked me… I think it would like to be known as “gorgeous” or “stunning” print or maybe even “that dress is hot and makes your ass look great” print, but in my obliviousness, I just said it was “fine.”

6. Would you rather be paid per hour, or per job?

For my fantasy and sci-fi mapping and illustration work, I tend to like using a hybrid approach.  I typically give a lump sum fee for the first x hours of work and then an hourly rate after that. 

7. What’s an offer you can’t refuse?

A request for work that I feel unable to turn down.

8. You’re best bet in handling a contract … Deathstroke or Deadpool*?

Well, it depends on whether or not they are the protagonist of the story or not.  If they are the villain, then I will not pick that character.  It seems that handling a contract depends primarily upon protagonistship.  As long as Deathstroke or Deadpool are the protagonists, I will take either of them.  If they are the antagonist…. that is a different story.

9. Whats the most serious ailment you have ever contracted?

I would have to say the full-blown flu.  1.5 weeks sick.  Yikes.  Either that or that evening I was throwing up and had diarrhea… that was a horrible night, but the flu lasted a week and a half.

10. What is the biggest contract you have ever been a part of?

Well, I think it was printed on legal paper.  That is 8.5 x 14 inches for you non paper literate people and 215.9 x 355.6 mm for my metric friends.

11. Expand or contract?

Well, sadly, weight-wise, I am expanding, luckily not geometrically (at the moment)

12.  Ever had a contract out on you?

Well, not that I know of.  If I have had a contract out on me to “do me in” it has been accepted by the most ineffectual assassins in the world.  Very easy to avoid… unless they have employed the use of deep fried dough and neufatal cheese… that stuff is sure to kill me.

13. How far in does your sphincter contract when you don’t get enough questions?

Actually, not getting enough questions is pretty old hat.  I will  let you in on  a little secret (since we are all friends here).  The Some Other Guy who often asks questions is actually me.  I fill in for the lack of questions pretty darn often.

14. How many contracts do you think George Lucas has signed or have been signed by his representatives?

Hmmmm…. Gonna go with 292,843.

15. What happened to all those contracts with the Indians?

I assume you are talking about the American Indians and not the East Asians or the American League Major League Baseball team based in Cleveland, Ohio.  Simple, the forked tongue devil broke all those contracts because we wanted their land for various reasons.

16. When do you think the the universe will start contracting?

I think that due to space eddies and the like, there are some places where it is already contracting, but on the whole I would say in about 25 billion years, but I am no cosmologist. 

17. Who do you think made the first contract?

I am going to go with the Babylonians for 500, Alex.

18. Have you read Will Eisner’s A Contract with God and if so what did you think of it?

I have not read that, so I really don’t have an opinion on it.

19. Everyone freeze!  I dropped my contact… the topic was “contact,” right?

Nope the topic was “Contract,” but thanks for playing.

20.  Have you ever wanted to put a contract out of anyone? Have you ever wished someone dead?

q1: Nope

q2: I can honestly say that I have never wished someone dead… I have tried black magic spells, voodoo, hexes, and more personal efforts, but I have never wished someone dead… They have died other ways, but I have never used my power of wish to finish someone off….

To recap:
*Deathstroke and Deadpool were drawn for Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenges from a few years ago
Down to 1 job as of Dec 1
And I have been to the Gym 3 times already
It is amazing how much time I have now
I only have 1 drawing left for a client
I am going to get that 1 done this week
Wifey is heading out of town all of next week
Home the kids like burnt toast, day old pizza, and warm juice served in a dirty cup
‘Cause that’s what they are getting
Lots of good interviews in the works
People are busy… and stuff
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 177 - Holiday Hangover

So last week was a holiday of gluttony, and that means that there is a period post-holiday that required to recover from the holiday… or as I have coined it the Holiday Hangover (editor’s note: someone else might have coined this phrase, but I am claiming it for the purpose of this blog).  So I have decided to make the topic all about the Holiday Hangover.  More explanation, you ask?  

Okay… here we go:   After a holiday there is always a down period where one has to re-insert themselves into the drudgery of their everyday life.  Where the holiday is known to be in amazing technicolor, it is now time to go back into the grey drudgery of everyday life…  Ergo the phrase “Holiday Hangover.”

Thanks this week go to ICYellow, Lord Pithy, Capt. McArmypants, Dr B-Dawg, Reilly Brown, Chris Ring, and Some Other Guy … onto the questions:

1. Mr. Expert, does Holiday Hangover include a time warp zone? It appears to speed up during days off and then crash to a halting snail’s pace come Monday.

I hardly consider myself an expert as much as I consider myself a trendsetter. Perception is an odd beast, and I do think that time is more variable than people give it credit.  I have often asserted that the flow of time is not strictly a straight line un-wavering propagation, but more of a non-linear looping and vacillating stream of time.

2. Why? Oh, why?

Because. Oh, why not?

3. “Hair of the dog” is the accepted cure for a regular hangover. What is the cure for this holiday hangover?

Tinsel of the Tree, Gravy of the Boat, Bow of the Gift… Not sure which one works best, but I am leaning toward Gravy of the Boat.  Please weigh in.

4. Why was I born beautiful instead of rich?

Not sure what this has to do with the Holiday Hangover, but I will play ball.  You are deluded, however, relatively correct.  Whislt not being exceptionally comely, and no where near beautiful, you are clearly not rich, by any means.

5. I don’t really care about the food of Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t I be allowed to trade turkey for another day off?

Thanksgiving is more than just turkey.  It is ham… it could be prime rib? Don’t limit yourself to seasonal fowl.

6. Actually, I’m excited to come back to work. Is that normal?

No… you are not normal, and this factoid is merely more confirmation of this fact.

7. Is the Holiday Hangover transition made more difficult for you when you factor in Christmas is right around the corner?  I mean is it really worth getting back up to speed since you will shift gears in a mere 31 days?

Nope, ask any drunkard, the best way to get rid of an actual hangover is to get drunk again.  So, the best way to get over the Holiday Hangover is to have another fete d’holiday (faux Francais pour la gagner)

8. Did you gluttonize to the extent that your body was rebelling and begging for a sensible meal or time it perfectly to where you want one more treat before going back to an appropriate adult diet?

Not anymore.  That is the old 35 year old me.  I now just eat to where I am pleasantly uncomfortable, which allows me to keep that level of uncomfortable fullness for a day or two.  This year, since we didn’t cook everything on our own, there was not a chance to overfill on the leftovers.

9. Do you get Holiday Hangovers after summer holidays or just the winter ones?

Since most summer holidays are a little less food based, the Holiday Hangover tends to be a bit less.  That and summer holidays don’t have the childhood carryover since one doesn’t have to steel themselves to immediately go back to school.  There is less of a cultural history of Holiday Hangover associated with the summer holidays.

10. Is there a cure?

Time is the only cure.

11.  What was the last Holiday Hangover that came with an actual hangover?

Wow… I would say it needs to go back to maybe 10 years ago or so?  I don’t remember exactly, but that probably means that I got seriously ripped up that holiday.

12. After how many meals do the leftovers no longer invoke holiday cheer?

2

13. Cyber-Monday. Really?

Preceded directly by Spam Email Sunday.  I got so many trash emails on Sunday.  I think that Cyber-Monday is short-sightedly ephemeral.  It should last for more than a day because it needs to be at least  a week.

14. How long before the Christmas spirit sets in?

From Thanksgiving? About .2 seconds… It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

15. Instead of holiday office parties, why can’t we just go home quicker?     

Less traffic? Higher speed limits?  Not sure I follow exactly… Just kidding, I think you mean “earlier.”  Yes, one should be able to jet earlier instead of hanging with the work doofusses

16. It is 65 degrees here with bright blue sky and green grass, so suck it grey drudgery. I guess that is not a question. Actually, this imperative is part of the Occupy movement. Consider your blog now occupied with imperatives until their vague non-demand demands are specifically met. Respond.

I hate you with green billious envy, jerkface.

17. How many times did you hit the “Snooze” button on Monday?

Well…. I didn’t hit the snooze button as much as re-set the alarm for much later.

18. Is marshmallow vodka a good idea, because it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Marshmallow vodka is quite possibly not a good idea ever.  In fact I would go so far to say that it is an Absolut Bad Idea.

19. Should they make a Hangover 3: Holiday Hangover to try and revitalize the sophomore slumping franchise?

Oh, God, No!  They should apologize for Hangover 2 and let someone else create a new comedy that is actually funny instead of trying to capture lightning in a bottle… again.

20.  Worst Holiday Hangover ever?

To tell the truth, Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day, you threw it away.  this year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to somebody special… special…
uh, where was I?  Oh yes, Last year was particularly bad because I had no vacation hours and for the week between Christmas and New Year’s I was at work… alone.

To recap:
The gut was feeling really nastily this morning
Ant-Acids didn’t help much
There was a constant cloud around me like pigpen from the peanuts
Sadly it was not a dust cloud
Wifey thought about kicking me out of the house last night, if only for the fresh air
I have work I need to do
Sadly, it is at Job 2 that I have so much work that needs to be done
I am at Job 1 right now, with minimal boring tasks to do
I am completely over my Holiday Hangover
Suck it, Thanksgiving!
Your wonderful vacation/holidayness holds no power over me!
Oh, why? oh, why? Have you forsaken me Thanksgiving?
I need another hit of mashed potatoes
Have a great week, folks

20 Questions Tuesday: 176 - Thanksgiving (on Thursday.. whoops)

So, today, the fam is on the way to the first vacation in a long long time.  So we are vacating whilst having the Thanksgiving day festivities.  It is going to be a great time… that has been needed for a long long time.  Did I mention “long long time?” ….because you know, “long long time.”

Anyway… since it is a holiday week, I am breaking out the holiday tropes… The topic for this edition is, unsurprisingly, Thanksgiving.

Thanks this week go to: Guido, Lsig, Allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants, and Some Other Guy.  On to the questions!

1. Whose house does your family usually go to for Thanksgiving?

We typically have the whole Thanksgiving thing at our house, with my family now and most, if not all of my family growing up.  This year, however, we are heading out of town and visiting with no one.  I think it is a welcome respite from the typical Thanksgiving hosting duties.

2. Whose job is it to kill “the bird”?

By “kill” I assume you mean either purchase or prepare.  Purchase?  Well, whomever goes grocery shopping that week.  Sometimes me, sometimes Wifey and sometimes the Ma-in-Law. Prepare? Never me, I hate touching poultry.  CANNOT STAND IT.  So either Wifey or Ma-in-Law do the bird preparations.

3.  Are you for, or against, putting up Christmas decorations prior to Thanksgiving? Personally, I’m against, I prefer my holidays one at a time.

One holiday at a time, please.  Now, we will put up decor the day after, often. This year it will be the week after Turkey-Day.

4. Is it tradition for you to eat absolutely as much as possible?  I try to have a little of everything, which turns into a lot of something!

Umm… I am not quite sure how to respond to this with something other than just a big ole “YES.”

5. Do you have any non-standard foods that must be part of your T-day feast?

Not especially.  We tend to stay pretty traditional.  Ham, Turkey, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, etc…

6. Do you call your turkey “Tom”? (I insist on calling ours Pablo. Pablo Pavo (Pavo being Spanish for turkey).

I think we only refer to the turkey as “the bird.”  Sometimes the “stupid bird,” or “that fucking bird in the bag.”

7. Who does the bulk of your thanksgiving cooking?

My wife and her mom do pretty much every bit of the cooking for the feast.

8. Do you go around and say what you are thankful for like they do on tv?

Yup, we all sit on one side of the table and try to avoid looking at the audience while we say what we are thankful for and watch clips from past episodes fade in and fade out.  Who doesn’t love a clip show?

9. Pumpkin pie? (I vote yes)

Hells yes!  With whipped cream, of course.

10. What is your favorite T-day tradition?

Umm… The eating of the foods. Is there any other tradition to look forward to?

11. How many T-day traditions do you have?

We really don’t have too many traditions, per se.  They mainly revolve around the food and the eating thereof.  So as a family we typically have 2.  The cooking and the eating…

12. Why does T-day get so shafted by Christmas?

Well, because Christmas also has a big meal associated with it, but, oh so much more.  There are gifts, and decorations, and carols, and TV shows, and wrapping paper, and trees, and lights, and food (often much of the same foods).  Plus, it is only a month away.  I am sure some people use Thanksgiving Day as a dry run or dress rehearsal for their Christmas Day feast.

13. What artwork has the children (or perhaps just one of them) brought home?

I don’t remember… I am a bad parent… maybe Little Man has done one of those turkey hands or something.

14. I am all for cultural appreciation, but I think sometimes we overlook the obvious. When eating partially fermented Bird Fetus with yolk still in the egg or pickled pigs feet or diet ice cream remember that people ate these things because they were starving not because they enjoyed it.  Which traditional Turkey Day treat do you give the maddest props to in terms of awful but still served at the table for the sake of TRADITION?

I think sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce would be the two that I think of.

15. Which traditional food be yer favorite?

Yaaarrrrr, Sausage stuffing be my favorite.  as long as it not be corn bread stuffing or too soppy, it be the blessed food of the seven seas, yarrrr.

16. Which tradition be yer favorite?

Tis, the tradition of nae touching the raw bird, that be my favorite, once ye gets past the traditional grub’n’eatings.

17. 24 NOV 11:  Looking forward to the main course or the Dessert more?  24 NOV 85:  Looked forward to the main course or the dessert?

This is a really interesting question.  I am currently really looking forward to the main course, whereas in 85 an 11 year old me was looking forward to spice cake with cream cheese frosting and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

18. When you get “into the Holiday spirit” do you try focus on the “thanks” for what you have or the “giving” to others?

I think I am more concerned with the whole “giving” thing, mainly because I need to figure out what they want.  Piffle, who am I kidding? I am focusing on what I am getting.

19. Best Thanksgiving Day story?

Well, one year the Mom-in-Law (refered to as “M” in this story) invited her elderly neighbor whose husand had died previously that year, we will refer to her as “R.”  Little Man’s surrogate grandparents, brought their elderly Alzheimer riddled neighbor, let’s call him “J.”

J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Ten minutes Pass—
J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Ten Minutes Later—
J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Rinse and Repeat ad Infinitum—

The best Thanksgiving story ever.

20.  If you weren’t able to spend your Thanksgiving at your house or at a relatives, where would you spend your Thanksgiving?

Oh, I think the fam and I would spend our Thanksgiving at a State Park resort in West by God Virginia.

To recap:
Wild, Wonderful
5 hours of driving in the rain
Through backwoods county roads
In the rain
Close to being serpentine 1 lane roads
I shouldn’t be dramatic
We stopped for 30 minutes for lunch
It was really 4.5 hours
I have to format this and get it posted
Have a great holiday, all you US folk out there
Have a great weekend everyone else
And I guess you US folk could have a great weekend too

20 Questions Tuesday: 175 - Khoi Pham

It is a rare and wonderful honor to send out a 20 Questions Tuesday to an Internet artist friend of mine, Khoi Pham.  Khoi is known for his work on Mighty Avengers, Hercules, and X-Men: Legacy.  I met Khoi on the Interwebs through my Internet home away from home, Ten Ton Studios.  He is a very giving artist and a joy to interact with.  I also was lucky enough to sit down with him for some dinner at the 2010 Mid-Ohio ComicCon.  I do seriously consider myself very lucky to have met Khoi and get the chance to interact with him regularly.
 
Since Khoi has kind of exploded onto the comics scene, he has been interviewed ad nauseum about  what got him into comics, who his favorite character is, his drawing methods (you can google those on your own), etc… I will attempt to eschew the tired questions which can be found online at various comic book sites, and pose some questions that he most likely has never been asked in an interview.  And I want these bad boys to be seriously random.

On to the questions:
1.   If you had to choose between ice cream and pie (and you could not choose pie a la mode) which would you go for?

Pie.  I don’t scream for ice cream.

2.  I know, since you are constantly on the clock to produce pages upon pages of comic book art, and then subsequently on the hook for going to conventions and getting commissions from fans to draw as well, that you most likely do not get much opportunity to go on vacation.  If you could go on a vacation, where would you go?

Hmm.  I’ve been so busy with family and work that vacation never crossed my mind.  I really can’t think of any one place, especially for more than a few days, so perhaps 4 day weekends at a bunch of different locations.  As long as my wife Heather’s with me, it doesn’t matter the destination.

3.  I know that it is sometimes very difficult to follow your passions.  I also know that you were a practicing attorney of some shape or form prior to making the jump to comics as a full time gig.  Did you get much pushback from family (parents or partner) for walking away from a paying full time career to go after your passion?

At first the idea was met with raised eyebrows, then that turned into suggestions about how I should be the next Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame).  The transition was actually not that abrupt.  I was a practicing attorney while drawing for Marvel for a few years.  As the comic work increased, the decision to drop lawyering was pretty simple.  I do miss lawyering on occasion, especially my colleagues and coworkers, but there is simply not enough time in the day.  I’d do both still if I could.

4.  You have children and I have children, and I know that there are things I have said that I told myself I would never say.  What parenting actions have you done that you told yourself you would never do?

I told myself that I would never drone on and on with my lectures, but I find myself doing that.  It’s a work in progress.

5.  What is your favorite genre of food?

I like a variety of foods, so picking a favorite is difficult.  I know that Vietnamese food is a favorite standby for us when we’re out of ideas, but then, so is Indian food and sushi.  French is nice, too, although I haven’t had it in a while.

6.  What color is your toothbrush?

Purple and white.

7.  Did you play any sports when you were growing up? If so, what position?  If not, what extra-curricular activities did you do?

I played a lot pickup basketball growing.  Total hoops rat, but my parents never let me play organized sports.  They’re crazy controlling Asians like that.  Instead, I did student government.  I also spent a lot of youth playing guitar in rock bands.

8.  Are these questions random enough?  Have you been asked any of these? Should this be considered a 3 parter?

Sufficiently random, thanks!  Interviews do get pretty tedious at times, so these questions are nice.  And no, I’ve never been asked these.

9.  Do you have a studio that you go to or do you work from home?  Either way, what color are the walls of your work space?

I work from home.  I wish I had a studio to go to, but that’s not doable right now with kids everywhere.  I have a designated work station, but I prefer to grab a drawing board and work in the dining room.  Kids bother me less when they can see me.  Weird.

10.   So… Push pins or thumbtacks?  wait that is a really stupid question.  Don’t answer it.  I can come up with something better than that….  Okay, here is a question, why is it difficult to generate questions for someone that you know for a very specific thing, that does not revolve around that one very specific thing?

Scotch tape.

11.  Seeing how you were an attorney and have your JD, but you are also a creative drawing engine, what was your favorite course in your years and years  of education?

I loved all of my criminal justice and criminal law classes.

12.    Since you are a bit of a celebrity to a tightly knit group of fanbois you understand, to a degree, what it is like to be sought after for attention and adoration, Who is a celebrity that you would love to meet?

I really don’t see any difference between celebrities and “regular” people.  Celebrity in and of itself doesn’t impress me.  Intellectuals that have strong moral compasses and compassion impress me, celebrity or otherwise.

13.  How often do people ask you to review their portfolio?  Is that a common occurrence at Cons and such?

Actually, I ask people to show me their portfolios.  When I was trying to break in, a ton of industry folks helped me out and gave me advice, so I want to pay it forward, so to speak.

14.  Any of the portfolios really stand out to you? Good or bad?

Most portfolios that I see aren’t ready, but most could be ready with practice and determination.

15.  What is the most interesting Con experience that you… umm… experienced (I am a wiz with the werds)?

Wow, I’ve been to so many conventions and spent time with so many great people that it’s difficult to single out any one experience.  I guess, in 2004 I went to Mega Con in Orlando as a total nobody, and I remember somehow finding myself partying at Tim Townsend’s house with Tim, Adam Hughes, Scottie Young, Brian Stelfreeze, Cully Hamner, and a bunch of other folks I sure I’m forgetting.  Or maybe that wasn’t as memorable as one year in San Diego convincing Ten Tonners Reilly Brown and Kurt Christenson (with Kurt’s friend Tim and some random guy from Australia named Simon that we met at the hotel) to take a cab out to some stranger’s house party, then being stranded until the next morning because no cab would pick us up and drive us back.  Or one year in Philadelphia where Heather and I got hammered and she asked a bunch of artists to draw fairies for her.  So many good times from which to choose.

16.  What was the last good book you read?  Are there any TV shows that you can’t live without?  What was the last good movie you saw?

Man, I don’t even remember the last book I read, never mind good book.  So busy.  I don’t watch much TV anymore either, asides from children’s shows.  Movies are the same, although I do try, even if I do watch it years after everyone else.  Just watched Captain America, and I really enjoyed it.  Not great, but I was impressed with the way they portrayed women.  Refreshing.

17.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  I  grew up in Birmingham, Alabama.  I went to college in Kent, Ohio.  I now live in Columbus, Ohio.  What is your geographic life path?

I was born in Saigon, Vietnam.  I grew up in Bristol/Portsmouth/Middletown, Rhode Island.  I went to high school in Fall River, Massachusetts.  Started college at Penn State, then transferred to Northeastern University in Boston.  I went to law school at UPenn.  I got my MBA at Saint Joseph’s University.  I now live about 40 minutes outside of Philadelphia.

18.  Okay, one really serious comic book question.  What is it about sequential art that draws you in?

I really enjoy the storytelling aspect of sequential art.  I think I’m pretty decent as an artist, but I really take pride in my storytelling ability.

19.  Anything else you feel I should know about you?

You should know that I’m really private.

20. Any question you want to ask me?

Why mmmmmpig?

I went with “mmmmmpig” because, years and years ago, I needed to create a forum name on a long dead forum.  I had just eaten a wonderful sausage sandwich and had uttered the “phrase” “mmmmm pig” a la Homer Simpson.  That made me giggle so I created a forum name called “mmmpig.”  I ported over to gmail and mmmpig and mmmmpig were taken… wtf?!?!  So I settled on mmmmmpig, and the rest is history… a history of ham and bacon jokes.  The joke is on everyone else though because I really love the porcine meat products.

Thanks for the great answers Khoi!

To recap:
Things are a happening
Hope to give you good news soon
I hope to have good news soon
Good news would be good
Ergo the term “good news”
If it were not good news I doubt they would call it “good news”
Maybe “mediocre news” or just “news,” but definitely not “good”
These interviews have been fun
This was more of a questionnaire
But fun none the less
On vacation next week
Yippee!
Have a great weekend!

20 Questions Tuesday: 174 - Weather

Well, we are going back to the more typical format this week. The last three week’s worth of interviews are abso-fuckin-lutely amaziballs!  I want to thank the 2 gentlemen and Dave again for their interviews.  I have some more interviews on the way.  I have one in the can, that will post next week, I have one about half done, and one into the hands of a great interviewee.  

So this week the weather has finally shifted to the cold part of autumn, so this week’s 20 Questions will all be about the weather.  The problem with this shift is that in Columbus, during the shifty time, is that is swings back and forth.  It is cold and blustery.  It is not so cold and not so blustery. It is cold and blustery. It is not so cold and not so blustery. etc… Anyway… it is now more cold and blustery… except for today, which is not so cold and not so blustery.  

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Dr. B Dawg, and some other guy for the questions!  On to the questions!

1. Weather or not? (Your best interpretation)

Gonna go with not.

2. What is the best response you’ve ever heard or given to the witticism, “Hot enough for ya?”

I saw someone hit a guy square in the face after this question once… I wish I had been the one hitting the “Hot enough for ya?” doofus.

3. As a cartographer, what just sets your teeth on edge when you see it on an amateur map?

It is not the amateur maps that make my blood boil.  It is the professional maps with crappy cartography that piss me off.  Look at USA Today’s maps… Those are affronts to humanity, and the creators of such should be thrown down a hole filled with hungry weevils.

4. Thor or Storm?

For weather? Storm, she has control of weather not just thunder.  To have the sex with? Storm again, hello white-haired African hotty. To drink with? Thor, he can always be the driver cause he has an amazing tolerance.  One from being a god, and the second because he is a viking and they were drankers! To be on my team in a fight? Thor… he’s a god, god-damnit!

5. What is the most beautiful weather event you’ve ever experienced?

Double complete rainbow, all the way.  Look at me, doing an internet call back to a dead meme.  Seriously, when I was 14 I went back-packing in New Mexico and saw a double complete rainbow.  But what does it mean?

6.  Which is better thinking weather, rain or snow

Hmmm… I would say rain… because I wouldn’t be able to think very often if I had to rely on snowfall.  Rain tends to happen more.

7.  Have you ever though about trying to get struck by lightning just to say you defied the odds?

Nope… That thought has never crossed my mind.  Maybe it should rain so I can think about that.

8.  Better looking on average, the weather ladies or dental hygienists?

Gonna go with weather reader ladies.  Those chicks have been vetted and are not limited by talent and skill.  There is a certain amount of skill necessary to be a dental hygenist, so the pool to select teh pretties is a bit larger for the weather readers.

9.  Favorite childhood tornado practice drill memory?

They were all so good.  Kneeling by the wall, asses in the air… that was a tornado drill, yes? This isn’t a set of repressed memories coming back, right?

10.  Would you prefer to live somewhere with regular snow or occasional hurricanes?

Regular snow over hurricanes.  Is there irregular snow?  Snow can be shovelled, while hurricanes destroy shit.

11.  What is an unstable airmass?

An airmass from a broken home? An airmass that is emotionally conflicted? An airmass with one leg shorter than the others?

12.  Warm front or cold front, you decide?

I’m going to go with a warm front… unless it is 90°+ F (32.2°+ C for my metric fans out there… “Hello, Canada!”) out there and then a cold front is appreciated.

13.  So, talk about the slow and steady decline of the show Storm Chasers.

The show started out really fun.  It was interesting to see the craziness of the hurry up and wait lifestyle of the storm chaser.  It has degraded into a soap opera about how egos implode in a camera laden situation.  So far most of the big tornadoes that have happened, seem to be happening away from the teams of storm chasers.  That and seriously Team Twis Tex, You should have put the $60K radar on a different truck. You will never be able to punch through a hail core with serious fragile jack on the back of your truck.  Get a new truck and grow a pair.

14.  Is the Squall line the quadralateral of extreme weather?

What? I have no idea what you are asking… A squall line is a long cold front that might… oh I get it.  Yes.  A squall line can produce nasty thunderstorms, lightning, hail, tornadoes, etc… and a quadrilateral can be a parallelogram, a rectangle, a square, etc… Math and weather? Who are you?

15.  So the weather radar, why did they start using that color scheme?  Green to yellow to red?  really?

I know, the most predominant color vision deficiency is red green, and yellow green is up there as well.  Adding fuchsia and white to the color scheme was a good touch, but really, red/green? Come on!  Walk away from that spanned hue sequence.

16.  So, your thoughts on the sandstorms in Phoenix, Arizona.

They look very biblical, don’t they?  Seriously, some crazy visuals going on with the sandstorms.  Like a wall of nastiness.  I am pretty sure that it would have caused much issue with the kids’ asthma.

17.  Do you consider wild fire to be a weather phenomenon?

Not especially.  Wild fires could be started by weather events and the results of the wild fire could affect weather.  In fact, if the fires get bad enough they can start up a fire storm which is quite the spectacle, indeed.  

18.  So do you like the term “erosion” or the term “weathering?”

For the purpose of this 20 Questions Tuesday, I am going to go with “weathering.”  It sounds more throwback like.

19.  Weather Channel or Weatherbug?  Which is the better online weather forecasting system?

They are both pretty much free, so why choose. I synthesize my own forecasts by combining the 2.  Sometimes they are mildly contradictory so I am confused.

20. Tornadoes, WTF?!? (The “W” in this instance refers to the interrogative word “Why.”)

To teach you a lesson, jackass!

To recap:
I will not have to burden my good questioneers next week
The allergies… they are a actin up
I need a vacation from this 2 job thing
Or maybe just to make job 2 job only
Chinese for lunch today
mmmm Chinese
In the field yesterday
Going into the field tomorrow
I don’t like the field overly much
I have to fill out 3 timesheets at job 1 every other week
All three are paper
I fill out the paper
The admin of our section fills out a form
The accounting group fills out another form
Then it goes to payroll
I need out of here
In triplicate
Have a great weekend all

20 Questions Tuesday: 173 - Dave Anthony

 

Here we go again with a brand spanking new 20 Questions Tuesday.  This time it is an interview with LA Based stand-up comedian and co-host of the Walking the Room podcast, Dave Anthony.  Last week I interviewed Greg Behrendt the other co-host of the Walking the Room.  Oddly I started the interviews at the same time.  Greg finished his interview a week earlier than Dave… Does that mean that Greg has more time on his hands than Dave? Does that mean that Dave is not as “into” his fanbase as Greg? Would the outcome have been different if the two knew it was a race? The world may never know, but Greg won the race.

 Dave has an acerbic wit and a fairly twisted view of comedy. The podcast that he co-hosts with his good friend is quite possibly one of the funniest things on the Interwebs. It is not for the faint of heart though and tends to take dark paths and disturbing highways to get to the funny.  A lesser known talent of his is his twitter feed.  It is enjoyable for many reasons, but I love watching him interact with people as they unfollow him.  So without further adieu…
 
Onto the Questions:

 One of the reasons that I dig listening to you and started watching for you was your interview on WTF with Marc Maron.  I believe it was during that interview that I learned that your wife is a therapist.  My wife was a therapist for many years, and being married to a therapist can be an interesting ordeal to say the least.  Question 1:  Do you see anything in your life now that you can think of that is significantly different since you are married to a therapist?

 I’d like to say yes but not at all.  She’s very good at keeping her therapy out of our relationship and I am a stubborn asshole, so it’s a perfect match.  She doesn’t analyze me or talk about why I am doing what I am doing, etc.  Very occasionally she will ask me why I feel that way, or the other day she asked me, “What makes you happy?” and I just laughed at her and mocked her until the moment was crushed and any hope of a meaningful conversation was destroyed.

 And, yes, she thinks I should be in therapy.

 That is pretty awesome that you are able to keep the work/life stuff separated that well.  It is not often that I get the chance to ask another spouse of a therapist that question, so I typically do…

 I have no good transition for this, but Question 2: Why Manchester United? (who seem to be utterly unstoppable this season so far, and Rooney is playing out of his mind)

 Fantastic question.  When the Premier League began showing on American televisions I really didn’t have a team to follow.  I tried with a few but nothing stuck. Manchester United was the team that was on tv the most.  So, I became familiar with them but I still have reservations about following them because they are basically the Yankees of English football.  Then the Arsenal “invincables” came along. I have never watched a more horrendous group of arrogant, whining dicks in my life.  The only team that had a chance to knock them down was Manchester United, so I started following them.

 I should add that the English Premier League is really two leagues. There’s the teams that can win it all, which currently number 3.  Some teams bob back and forth. In total, it’s a league of about 6 teams.  I follow United, who are in the league this league of 6.  Then there are the rest of the teams, who will never, ever win the title and are just playing for survival.  In that league, I follow Fulham.

 I mentioned in an email to you previously that I had the opportunity to go to the Bobby Charlton School of Football way back in the day, and there is a high probability that I lined up against Beckham (I was, 10 so the memory of who I tackled that night is too foggy), so I have a soft spot for Man U in the top 4 slot, but in regards for the rest of the pack, I also follow Fulham, first because of McBride and now because of Dempsey.  Any team that gives that many Yanks a shot should be rewarded with my interest.

 Question 3: Did you play soccer, or is this an interest that you came to as an adult?

 Yes, I played soccer as a kid.  I was pretty good, actually.  We didn’t have coaches, so who knows how good I could have been.  When I say we didn’t have coaches, I literally mean my friend’s dad was the coach of our high school team and he was a complete moron.  It was extremely frustrating.  I eventually stopped playing and started smoking pot, as God intended.

 I never really got into the illegal substances… it is clearly my loss.  So one thing that I have noticed with the insane amounts of comedy podcasts I listen to is the preponderance of substance abuse within the “comedy scene”

 Question 4: It seems that many of the comedians I enjoy are starting to have kids and still perform. I don’t remember comedians of 10 years ago having kids or if they did, actually trying to be involved in their kids’ lives.  Is this a newer thing or was I just not aware of the father/mother comedians of the 80’s and 90’s?

There were comedians with kids but I just think they weren’t as popular as those without.  Kid comedy isn’t really something the masses love.  It seems to be very repetitive and everyone is telling the same joke.  Louis CK kind of found a way to be different but I bet if someone went back they’d find someone doing similar material years ago.

But you also have to understand you are now far more aware of our lives than you were of comedians in the 80s and 90s.  Back then, you just knew about the comedian because of his material or through the press.  Now you have the internet, which not only gives you access to more material but other aspects of a comic’s life.  Podcasts are a huge thing, but so it Twitter, etc.

My personal belief is if you want to have kids you have to cut down on the amount of time you go on the road.  A lot of comics get caught in the nightmare of having to go out on the road more to deal with the costs of having kids.  That sort of cancels out the reason you have kids.  It also creates more strippers and comedians.

Fair point, I think my frame of reference may be tainting my memories as well.  I am pretty sure when I was kidless, I did not notice as much stuff that was kidfull.

Question 5: So were you aware that Hobotang, a word created by your podcast, is in the Urban Dictionary right now?

It’s a little weird and a little cool.  I think it’s more an indication that we had a word void that had to be filled.  Above ground domesticated hobos have existed for years and it’s time someone gave them a name.

It is also proof of the insanity of our listeners.

It does seem that some of the listeners are a bit off, to say the least.  Not saying that I am not quite bent as well, just that some of the cuddlahs are a bit scary.

Question 6: Any of the cuddlahs honestly scare you?  Any interactions that made you want to avoid eye contact and back away slowly?

Ha.  No one has scared me yet.  But I’m sure that moment is coming.  Anytime you venture into something like this you get someone who is waaay to into it.  It’s inevitable.  That’s why I carry a sawed off shotgun under my trench coast at all times.

It can be a little weird because people know so much about me and seem to assume I know a lot about them but I don’t.  So, it’s a one way familiarity situation.  I’m not really good at that kind of stuff anyway.  I’ve always been the comic who doesn’t go out to meet the crowd after the show.  I’m pretty happy being anonymous offstage.

That over-familiarity of your listeners is actually something that I am fighting in this 20 questions.  Since most of the people who read this blog don’t listen to your podcast, I feel like I cannot really ask some fo the “inside baseball” questions for Walking the Room.  Crickets, Hobotangs, etc…  I feel like I do have a pretty good “History of Dave” kind of knowledge going on here as well.  I listened to you tell your story to Maron, and I have over 70 hours of WTR to call on about your life and likes/dislikes.  Trying to stay away from the typical questions and keep the questions interesting to me is, frankly, kind of difficult.

I am a fairly liberal thinker and tend to be left leaning.  That being said, I made the conscious decision when I started this blog, not to be political in this forum. Question 7: You used to write a pretty political blog "Stop All Monsters,"  did you find being political on the web to be an enjoyable experience or did it just make your blood boil?

Well, I started writing politics on the internet for Suicide Girls.  I was their political editor.  Then I branched out onto my own blog.  At SG it was pretty annoying because the people who go to that site are, ironically, very limited in their thinking.  Not all, but the people leaving comments were largely douchebags.

My own site was better.  I had a few trolls that would post but for the most part it was people who actually like my writing and my point of view who read.  Mostly, I just got fed up with politics and, in particular, Obama.  In my opinion, a very obvious game is being played by Democrats, Republicans and Obama to get the corporations everything they need while fucking over the common man.  And even when we reached the breaking point, they continued on.  I think Obama will end up being one of the worst things that ever happened to the Democratic Party.  So, that’s why I left my blog.  I just couldn’t take what was happening anymore.

That makes sense.  I am clearly more forgiving of Obama than you are, but I am really starting to tire on his administration and their policies continuing the status quo.

So, recently, you got a writing gig for the AMC aftershow, The Talking Dead, associated with their mega-hit The Walking Dead.  Question 8: Were you a fan of the whole zombie genre beforehand, or of the tWD comic book or show prior to getting the gig?

I am a huge zombie lover but I didn’t read the comic book until I started on the show.  I did get the job because of my zombie expertise and my love of the television show.

I don’t read many comics and those I do read tend to be more like Optic Nerve.   I don’t care for the comic very much.  I think his story development is okay but the characters are weak and the dialogue is not good.

Okay, I got my M.A. in geography and, if I remember correctly, your undergrad is in geography (jealous much?), so I hope this question seems interesting. That being said, this is one of my favorite questions, and I try to use it as often as I can.  I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.

Question 9: What is your geographic history?  

It’s nothing as grand as moving around the Oklahoma, Alabama, Ohio triangle.

I grew up in Marin County, California.  Specifically, Fairfax, home of that American Taliban guy.  I lived in the same house until I was 18, when I moved to San Luis Obispo for 1 year to go to college at Cuesta. (Hold on, I was in college forever)  I then went home and went to College of Marin for 1 year, then I went back to San Luis Obispo for 2 years.  Then I went to UC Santa Barbara for 3 years.  If you have any grasp of math, you will see that I stretched my college career out to 7 years.  That’s fucking impressive.

After college, I moved to San Francisco for 5 years, then moved to New York for 4 years, then to Los Angeles, where I have lived eve since.

During my stand up career I have visited every state in the continental US, which is pretty cool.  Still haven’t been to Alaska but plan to at some point.

Question  10: So which of these places do you consider “Home” with a capital “H?” For example, I lived in the Birmingham area for 15 years where I grew up, but I consider Columbus home, because Birmingham may have been where I spent my formative years, but Columbus, is where I built/am building my life.

I considered Fairfax home for a long time but once I got married and had a kid, LA became my home.  It’s weird because we are trained in Northern California to grow up hating LA, yet here I am.

I’ve liked everyplace I’ve lived except New York.  I think it’s a dehumanizing shithole.  I can’t understand how people love it so much but I think that might be a west coast thing.  Growing up here it’s all open and spread out.  Could never adjust to the compacted existence of NY.  And the heat.  And the subway.  Seriously, fuck that place.

It is amazing how getting married, having a kid, and raising the youngun will almost immediately change where you consider home.  Sadly my Birmingham, AL home stopped being my home when my childhood cat died during my super-senior year at Kent State, Columbus became home for me soon after being married.

Question 11: So, speaking of kids, how old is your little boy and are there any of his shows that he relentlessly wants to watch on TV (making an assumption that he relentlessly wants to watch something on TV, because he is a kid and that is what they do) that you secretly enjoy?

He’s 2 1/2.  His name is Dangerous Top Anthony.  He enjoys Curious George, anything with garbage trucks and Sons of Anarchy.

I do not really like any of his programs.  They are rather juvenile.

Seriously, I don’t like anything he watches.  Franklin can go fuck itself a million times.

I hear that.  Franklin is a whiny bitch of a turtle, and don’t get me started with that wuss Caillou.  What the hell is the that name to start with?  Really with kids programming it really is choosing the lesser of the evils presented, and, yes, it is all evil.  I knew I was watching too much kid’s TV when I started finding Mrs. Foil from The Upside Down Show to be a hotty.  Yep, I started doing other things right then and there.

Question 12: So, when the wee one is partaking his Curious George, and Franklin, and whatever other crap, does he ask you infuriating questions about what is going on in the insipid show you are trying not to watch, just to try and make you watch the eyesore moving pictures on the TV, when he knows that you are trying your damned best to not have to watch?… ummm. Yes, that question is for you… actually, what does the wee one allow you to get away with whilst he is viewing his shows?  For me, it is stuff I can do on my phone.

He lets me do whatever when he’s watching TV.  But he doesn’t watch very much tv right now. Mostly playing with cars and trains and for that I have to just sit there and do what he says.

He’s a Nazi.

Oh, god, I remember the trains, oh do I remember the trains.  My boy fell in love with trains at the age of -1 and played with them near relentlessly until he was 6.  It got so bad that he made us by DVD’s of trains made by creepy train lovers who hang out at crossing gates with video cameras.  Those guys are one panel van away from touching kids.  Anyway…he started with the wooden trains like the Thomas ones, but didn’t like Thomas, because Thomas is a whiny bitch, and he wanted to play with trains that he could see in real life that didn’t talk.  When he turned 5 we got him into the Tomica Wolrd battery operated trains and he loved those.  At 6 he moved on to planes and now is firmly ensconced in LEGOs.  So it does get better. I should start a video campaign for dad’s stuck with shitty kid’s TV shows and horrible play times….

Question 13: Since this is 13 it is time to ask about superstitions.  Do you have any superstitions.  As an example, the closest thing I had to one was a very ritualistic way of getting ready for soccer games… a specific way of putting on the socks and shin guards, etc… anything like that.  Could be associated with going on stage, or a pre-writing ritual, or maybe you need to circle the bed three times before lying down? Anything you can think of that is at all superstitious?

Well, that’s weird.  I was just murdering my nightly goat in order to get a good nights sleep.

No, actually.  I have no superstitions.  Probably weirder to not have them.

That is not particularly surprising.  You seem to be a pretty much “no fuss, no muss” kinda guy, and superstition and ritual don’t really seem to be in your bag.  Honestly, for you, I would have been surprised if you did have a superstition.

Question 14: Other than hang out with your kid, or podcast with Greg, what do you enjoy doing with your downtime?… do you have downtime?  I have no idea how things work out there in the entertainment business.

I’m so busy right now I have zero free time.  That’s part of the entertainment business.

It always seems to be all or nothing.

When I’m not working I like to lay around and do nothing.  I excel at doing nothing.  I used to play a lot of video games before my kid was born.  Now I pretty much watch movies and stare at the Internet.  Occasionally, I enjoy going for a bike ride.  But I haven’t had any free time in ages.

Now I’m sad.

I live to serve… I have finally gotten you sad, soon I will have you crying.  I am the Barbara Walters of teh Internets!

Question 15: Tell me about your mother…
Cry!  Why won’t you cry!

Okay, real Question 15: Speaking of sadness, this is a question I also asked Greg Behrendt, your co-host of Walking the Room.  How close to your day to day interactions with Greg are the Walking the Room podcasts?  I assume they are just polarized versions of your friendship where you both consciously exaggerate your typical behaviors to create teh comedies, but it would crack me up is that is just you 2 recording a typical conversation.

It’s pretty close.  Whenever we talk we’re fucking around and trying to make each other laugh.  Obviously, there’s the understanding that we are talking in front of an audience, so we want the podcast to be entertaining but we’ve always fucked around like this with each other, always tried to make each other laugh.

We do exaggerate our behaviors a bit but that’s what you do.  We are both pretty much being as honest as possible, though.

I am impressed at how similar yours and Greg’s answers were to this question.  I honestly find this to be absolutely beautiful.  That is an amazing friendship that you have and I hope that you cherish it greatly, because it is super fun to listen in on.

Question 16: Do you find yourself editing your happenstance conversations with Greg because you think a particular topic would be great for the podcast and you don’t want to “waste” it just with an everyday un-recorded conversation?

Yes.  There are certain things that will happen and one of us will say to the other, “I’ve got something to tell you but I’m saving it for the podcast.”  Certain things are just too perfect.  I usually write them in my phone and am trying to push dumb ass to do the same but he likes to wander around and stare at palm trees and not actually make notes.

A lot of our off air conversations are now business conversations because off all the stuff going on around the podcast.  Shows, merch, etc.

I hope that this does not mean that your typical conversation will become tiresome and too businessy.  It would be tragic if you were only having conversations that are equivalent to spreadsheets, and not the faux vitriol laden insult fests that we get to peak into through the magic of podcasting.  

Question 17: Since we are winding down to question 20, and since I am not above letting you turn the tables on me.  During the course of this set of questions, have you thought of any questions you want to ask me?

Our fans seem to be more active and interested in the show than other podcast fans. Why do you think this is?

Greg asked a similar question of me, and I can honestly only speak for myself and guess at the rest of the cuddlahs addiction to the podcast.  For me, I have always tried following comedy, which is pretty difficult in central Ohio.  Podcasts really became a revelation for me.  Some of the comedians I loved seeing on Comedy Central or on hour long specials started making podcasts.  Through listening to other podcasts I followed a breadcrumb trail to Walking the Room and I started listening to you guys I think on Ep 2, so going back through the back catalog was fairly simple.

I think your questioning of what the hell is going on in your professional career drew me in.  Your incredulity of who has become successful in spite of their lack of ability resonates with many people.  I identify with your looking back at where you are and wondering how the fuck you got there and where you can go from here.  Your overall themes are very identifiable and relatable. We, the listeners, are basically listening into a private conversation between friends, who are just being who they are.  We get a very candid look into your lives.  Coupled with that content is the intimacy of the delivery method.  Your content is consumed individually via earphones or solitarily in a car.  It is a very private and intimate experience wrapped in failure and the smell of sadness.

It is that combination of candidness and intimacy that creates a bond between the cuddlahs and you and Greg.  Does any of that make any damn sense?

The clever turns of phrase keep me coming back though.  Seriously, Hobotang?  That is fucking brilliant.

Question 18: Any questions you can think of that I did not ask you, that I should have?

Q: Where do you think the podcast will go?

A:I think we will end with an actual army and invade a small country - perhaps San Marino - then we rename it Old Corndog and start breeding.  After that it’s anyone’s guess.

I am afraid of what the flag for Old Corndog would be… Very scared.

Question 19: Is there anything that you are not amazingly cynical about? Seriously, you take sarcasm to a different level.

Yeah, I’m not actually that cynical when it comes down to it.  i think it’s mostly just show business that I’m cynical about.  I’m also not too thrilled about the course of our country but that’s a pretty common belief at this point.

I think eventually teddy bears will rule the world.

I love that your delivery of this cynicism takes the form of a pretty biting satire.  I think that your kind of satire is a dying art and I love being able to follow your diatribes against Trump and the Kardashians on your Twitter feed.  You, sir, are the wrong kind of funny, and should be way more famous than you are. In fact, your lack of fame angers me.

Question 20: is there anything that surprised you in these 20 questions and answers? Is there anything you take away from this that you did not have before this interview?

That’s a tough one because it was so spread out.  Do I have to now go back and read my own blathering nonsense?  I guess so.

Now I have done that an my answer is “no.”  Apparently I have taken nothing from this interview.  I hope that makes you feel good.

You cut me to the quick, Dave Anthony, you cut me.  This pain is immeasurable and unyeilding.  How will I make it through the rest of my life, much less the night, knowing I have affected you so little?

Thank you so much for putting up with this interview and its long drawn out tiresome process.  I really feel honored that you took this time with me, and I have really enjoyed your answers.  Seriously, you spent an ungodly amount of time answering these questions, and I didn’t pay you shit and I can’t monetize my Tumblr since only 13 people look at the site.  You should be very happy to know that any other emails you get from me will primarily be notes about how I think you can make Walking the Room better (two words: penguin shit…. and two more words: Greg’s closet.  So, in total, four words: penguin shit Greg’s closet.  Add the word “in” for your own benefit, if you want, but I think it is implied)

To Recap:
Next week a normal 20 Questions Tuesday
Then an interview with Khoi Pham
Comic Book Artist par excellence
He is a badass
Halloween happened last night
The kids loved it
The sugar coma will last for a week
The girl loves her some chocolate
I need some sleep
Tonight I am going to bed in the early times
If you want to be interviewed or want to ask me questions…
Drop me a line with your email on it
Enjoy!
Have a great weekend, everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 172 - Greg Behrendt

It is my great pleasure to be able to ask 20 questions to one of my favorite comedians, Greg Behrendt.  He is known for a bunch of various reasons, some of which you may actually know… right now he is the co-host of the podcast Walking the Room and the spin off subsequent comedic shows known as the Starfish Circus… that tend to happen in LA, but not in Columbus, Ohio…. which makes me a bit jealous of the denizens of LA. (technically it is L.A. and not LA, they aren’t doing these shows in Louisiana for God’s sakes!).
 
Anyhoo… there is no reason not to start the questions… so here he is, Greg Behrendt, upon you like a griffen, gryphon, griff… whatever.  onto the questions!

My wife loooves baby-name books.  Due to this love of all things baby-naming, it was subsequently very difficult to come up with baby names that were acceptable to all parties involved in the actual naming of the kids.  It was a long drawn out process involving lists, playground taunts, and limited veto powers.  We came up with 2 names that we really dig, but it was a bit of a chore to do that.  Your kids’ names are fairly unique, yet still accessibly and easily understood.  So the question is… Question 1: How did you and your wife arrive on your kids names?  What was the process?

My wife and I like music, and my wife and I like books. And our last names suck. So our thinking was lets come up with self contained first and middle names so they could drop their last name if they wanted and still be themselves. And we thought if they sounded like characters from a novel or members of a great band and if those names could have aspirational value we’d be home. So your get Bella True 9 and Mighty Luna 6. And to be fair my wife was the driving force behind the names. Otherwise they would have been called Camerosmith, and Brian Setzer Girl.

That is really well thought out and articulate.  Many people we have met just look through a list of names they like and pick.  Though, I have to say that I am a bit surprised at how saddened I am that you did not name them Camerosmith and Brian Setzer Girl.  In the end we went with names meaning God’s Gracious Gift and Bright Shining One (Zane 8 and Eily 3 for those scoring at home for bloggy purposes I have referred to them as Little Man and Q… you share and I share, I am equitable like that… For the record, Eily loves listening to “True and Mighty” but not quite as much as she enjoys “Short Pants for Fatty”)

Question 2: You design pants, play in a band, make a podcast, do stand-up, and write…. what do you do in your free time to relax and unwind, or can you relax and unwind?

None of those thing with the exception of stand-up really make me any money so they are what I do to relax. I love to work on a project. I love working w people.  Doesn’t matter what it is band, writers room.  I also hang with my wife and girls a lot. In pajamas at 6pm on a Friday eating pizza and watching a movie is my idea of fuckin’ heaven.

It is amazing how having a family and being committed to said family will change your Friday evening priorities.  Your Friday night sounds rather heavenly.

So, I am trying to avoid the hack questions because there are many great interviews out there that you have done.  Within the last year you have guested on a number of podcasts, as well as hosting your own, other than Walking the Room, Question 3: Which podcast you have guested on have you enjoyed the most?

Never Not Funny hands down. It’s the podcast that revived my comedy career. It’s host is truly one of my favorite comics and people of all time. And Jimmy’s support of WTR has definitely helped us build a fan base. And then those fans realize they’re good people and go back to just listening to NNF!

Jimmy is quite possibly one of the funniest humans alive and NNF was my gateway drug to many a comedy podcast.  Truly, I listen to an insane amount of comedy podcasts.  In this drudgery of the day job I watch many a progress bar slowly creep across the screen… lots of free time on the hands, I say… lots of free time.  This was one of the reasons I asked your about free time…. I have lots of job free time. Did I mention my freetime? Question 4: So, I know that my contact with you is something that would not have happened even 5 years ago.  How has social media altered how you have to deal with people who are not in the entertainment industry?

Did you get my answer to three!

I believe that might be the most accurate and concise answer to Question 4.  I thought you were making a statement about your comedy career  ”revival” and how the NNF ep and new/social media was how you jump started that process

I would like to add. I’m not a cynic when it comes to social media. I like that I’ve not only made fans but friends out of it! And a few sold business partners!

So, Question 5, without a smarmy segue, it is safe to say that you might have a sweet tooth, all things being equal, what is your go to confection? (mine is Vanilla Bean Cheesecake… I have very little will power against it, I have eaten a half of the whole cake in one evening before… It wasn’t pretty, but it was pretty impressive, I think my wife started fearing me at that time)

I’m still pretty high on the chocolate caramel Tim Tam. I’m sure I’d marry it if I could. But last year I attended a wedding where they had double chocolate cake with salted caramel filling and I’d kill you for another piece.

I’m listening, I am hip to that jive…. That sounds lovely, almost like a turtle sundae but with cake.  Knowing what is good for me, I have been able to avoid the Tim Tams so far (pretty sure that would be a soon to be empty package), but a wedding cake?  Yeah, that’s perfectly acceptable in modern society.

Question 6: You are very introspective, and very knowledgeable about yourself.  You seem (nothing implied here, I haven’t ever met you for reals and such) to be pretty intelligent and well-read.  That being said, you are also a performer who goes in front of people to make them laugh.  Would you consider yourself an introvert (quiet time with the fam and singular solo efforts) or an extrovert (gregarious [pun not intentional] and seeking to entertain others)?  Which really gets your batteries recharged?  Do you need the quiet time to be able to perform, or does the performance give you the energy to spend time with yourself?

Great question. I’m not overly gregarious… I think before I got sober and before I had any success I may have been a bit  overbearing needy and self seeking, but sobriety gave me the ability deal with it, and that in turn gave me all the things I have and I only got those things by being patient and being quiet. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments but at least I recognize them and  try and auto correct.  I need quiet to perform but the chaos of everyday life to write.

Speaking of the sobriety, one thing that I have learned by listening to 40+ hrs a week of podcasts is that there is a shit-ton of substance abuse within the comedy scene. Question 7: I am seriously curious about this, in your expert opinion, are the substance abuse issues inherent to the business or is it brought by the baggage the comedians are carrying with them?

I am not an expert on the topic but substance abuse problems are just people problems. Insurance adjusters are just as likely to suffer from the terrible self loathing that often leads to alcohol abuse as artists. Comics are not special or or entitled to more bad behavior than anyone else. We just happen to have forums to discuss our travails publicly. We may however be funnier drunks than the rest of the lot. Then again maybe not :)

Fair enough… I have not noticed illicit substance abuse at my jobs, however there have been some serious alcoholics and probably some prescription stuff that went un-noticed by me.  I guess due to my lack of popularity and my general disdain for people (one is a consequence of the other, but it is kind of chicken egg all up in that), I also have not been invited to the “partays” where serious (or frivolous) drug usage occurs.

Onto a completely different line of question.  You may know this about me, but I am a cartographer.  I love maps and I love the idea of places.  I was born in Okalhoma City, OK, moved to Montgomery, AL for a short while, grew up just to the northeast of Birmingham, AL, went to college in Kent, OH, and settled down in Columbus, OH. Question 8:  What is your geographic story?

West coast! Born in San Francisco in 63 moved to Marin County in 73 went to the University of Oregon 81 back to San Francisco 86 moved to Los Angeles 94 and that’s my story. West coat baby. My wife’s family lives in Hawaii and I’ve spent a lot of time there. For my money the best place on earth!

I have heard that Hawaii is tres tres spensive, due to how far from mainland anything it is.  The cost of living there has to be through the roof. Crap, my Midwest sensibilities just buzzkill everything.

So, I heard something odd the other day on one of the podcasts I frequently numb my existence to when I am at job 1.  This person was saying that men’s cargo shorts were the equivalent to women’s sweatpants with writing on the ass… appropriate for the young and hip, but passe and gauche for established adult males.  Since you are the closest thing to a male and masculine (emphasis on masculine) fashionista I know of Question 9: Are cargo shorts gauche for men late 30’s and up? and if so, what is their in kind replacement?  I love my cargo shorts…. save me!

I’m not a big fan of letting anyone decide how I’m gonna dress myself. Make your own rules. If you feel good in it it’s right . Period. Find the things that make you feel like the guy you came here to be. Taste makers and arbiters of style are just people that don’t want to get real jobs. A man isn’t a man until he owns his taste! So cargo the fuck out of it!

That is a fashion philosophy I can live with.  

Firstly, I have to thank you for hanging in there with me.  This has taken up waaay more of your time than you most likely expected.  Question 10:  Can you believe we are only half way done with this?  I need to ask more yes/no questions

I’m into it. I like it. BRING IT!

Consider me bringing it.  It has been broughtened. Question 11: You have a very strong amount of energy in your sets and in your podcast.  Do you ever shut it down, or do you bring that same amount of frenetic energy to PTA meetings, going to the grocery store, getting new shoes, etc… ?

I can be an excitable but I really only need that energy to create, not to live. I’d be more unbearable than I already am. My wife tells me I’m loud though.

I tend to be rather laid back and even keeled, so I always enjoy watching people with energy do their thang.  Yours is some frenetic energy that I could watch everyday.  

Question 12:  So you played rugby in college, and the Rugby World Cup is going on right now.  As of this time Wales, France, Australia, and New Zealand are still in the mix… are you still interested in rugby, and if so, who you got for winning the WC?
I left it on the field in college. I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to be an athlete and meeting with very little success until I joined the rugby club senior year of high school. We went on to win the Nation Championships in ‘81 and it was the highlight if my sporting life. I tried to stick with it in college but the allure finally wore off. I broke my hand on a guys forehead sophomore year, quit, and went directly to the theatre dept. and never looked back.

Well, rugby ain’t my game, but looking at the stats really quickly, my money (if I had any) would be on the New Zealand All Blacks (Editor’s note: New Zealand won Vs France with a score of 8 to 7).  They seem to have destroyed almost every other team so far.  I played soccer as a kid and in high school and enjoyed non-varsity level fencing in college, which leads me to a question that I have asked others…

Question 13: Prior to games in high school, I had to put on my socks and shin guards on a very particular sequence and at fencing tournaments, I needed to follow a pretty strict sequence of stretching and exercise.  Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain set of actions you have to do prior to taking the stage, a song you have to listen to prior to exercise, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

No hats on the bed! I wear hats. I also love the movie Drugstore Cowboy. No hats on the bed. Bad luck. I’m not very superstitious but I do not put or allow hat’s on the bed.

How wonderfully random and particular.  It is interesting that there are 2 potential origins to that superstition.  The first is that often crowns were placed on the funeral biers of rulers and the equivalent was a hat on the bed, and thus signified a death. The second is that Italian priests with their funky hats would never take off their hats unless they were at bedside and putting on their priestly vestments to give last rites. They would place their hat on the bed and then eventually that person would die (for those unfamiliar with that particular superstition, I have my brown belt in Google Fu)..

Question 14:  So, I have a 3 yr old little girl so I am sure that I will be doing some super girly girl things in my future.  Currently, she has not gone completely girly girl (even though she does like brushing my hair sometimes).  Since you have 2 girls, what is the girly girl thing that you found yourself doing, and thought, “I Never would have thought I would be doing this?”

I never really thought about it. That’s telling:)  However I refuse to play dolls. Not because it’s girly but because it’s flat out painfully dull. Can’t do it. But we’re at card games, bike rides, Wii, and I love all the painting and drawing stuff. I have two of their drawings as tattoos. To be fair I relish every freaking second with them. I can’t get enough.

Ha!  For full disclosure, I am not saying I won’t do girly girl stuff, just that I will notice doing the girly girl stuff.  I too have made it to the store with a barrette in my hair.  Yeah, I think playing dolls will be the death of me, but luckily she is into her older brother’s interest right now.  She is going as Jango Fett for Halloween.  It is going to be awesome.

Question 15: So, for Halloween, are you taking the kids around the neighborhood as the Silver Surfer or are you getting a Galactus costume together and making your kids into the heralds? (if it is the former, no pics please, if the latter, tons of pics please)

I’m not really a costume guy anymore. I let the girls have the fun and I do the door. Last year I went clown from the neck down. This year I’m gonna be a convict. I love how into it they get. It’s their night :)

I was really hoping that you were the Galactus to their heralds, but it is understandable to not upstage the kids.

Well we are nearing the end of the 20 questions, so, Question 16: Are there any questions that I didn’t ask you that I should have?

I let you know when we’re done :)

Good enough.  I have been dogging you for questions for a good long while now, so Question 17: In the course of all these questions, is there anything you would like to ask me?

People who love podcasts seem incredibly dedicated not only to the show but to their hosts as well. Why do you think that is?

That is a good question.  I think it boils down to two main factors.  The first factor is that podcasts are completely by choice. The choice of the creator to   The creator of the podcast is trying to get SOMETHING out, whatever that may be.  The podcast almost always seem to be a true extension of the creator/s.  In many ways it allows people to see the behind the scenes persona and sometimes the vulnerabilities of the creator.  That level of vulnerability seems to bond the viewer to the creator.

The second factor is that the method of ingesting the podcast.  Listeners typically listen to podcasts on their own.  That makes the podcast a very intimate experience for the listener.  It ends up being like the listener is a silent participant in a candid conversation.  I think that is why WTF, Never Not Funny, Walking the Room, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Nerdist, TOFOP, etc… tend to create rabid fans of the podcast and the artists on the podcasts.

So the combination of the creators creating and people searching out for those creations, and then the intimacy engendered by the medium create the rabidity of the fanbase.

So Question 18, (I will turn the tables on you) does the fanatical fanbase alter your creative process for the podcast, because you are concerned about losing their listenership?

The fan base of this particular endeavor only makes it possible for me to take bigger risks and get better. We never promised anyone anything so therefore we can do what we want. Certainly  we care about the quality but if the show succeeds it does because we’ve achieved our goal of pleasing ourselves.  When you take a deal at a network there is an understanding that you are trying to make a hit show that will run forever and make everyone a big chunk of change. And that is a really hard way to create anything. You ultimately aren’t doing it for yourself you are creating for others which is impossible. If I make Dave laugh I’m almost certain you will laugh. Or hang yourself.

So, this is a question I have had on my mind since I started asking you questions.

Question 19: How close to your day to day interactions with Dave are the Walking the Room podcasts?  I assume they are just polarized versions of your friendship where you both consciously exaggerate your typical behaviors to create teh comedies, but it would be delicious if that was just your everyday conversation with Dave.

Dave and I have such a long and kinda complicated relationship. There was an almost 3 year period during our 22 years of knowing each other where we did not speak but I would say still thought the other one was hilarious. The cuddle is only slightly exaggerated. His insults make me laugh because they are accurate and the flip side of a compliment. He is oddly the easiest person I’ve ever worked with in comedy.  Super open to ideas, always laughs, ok with failure. and easily the funniest guy I know.

At the risk of sounding sentimental and a little bit maudlin, your relationship with Dave really is a beautiful thing.  When you look past the surficial taunts and faux disgust, it really is a wonderful interaction to watch, and I think that is why people continue to listen to your particular podcast.  The content is funny, there is no denying some of the golden phrases that have happened during the podcasts, but it is the interaction and genuine care for each other that brings people back.  Your friendship is clearly the backbone of the podcast, and that shows through.

So, the last question in this 20 Questions Tuesday (other than you revisiting Question 16 concerning questions I SHOULD have asked)

Question 20: Is there anything that surprised you in these 20 questions and answers? What can you take away from this that you did not have before this interview?

I guess if I had a question I wanted you to ask me it would be this. “Given that you rant so much about your career how do you feel about what you’ve accomplished so far?” And I would say that after reading my answers to the questions so far is that “I have it pretty damn good.”

Yes there have been peaks and valleys but because your questions were so good I was able to see that I’ve had a great run. Have there been disappointments?  Sure, the fate of Greg Behrendt Show, certain haircuts! But there have been more surprises and triumphs like Letterman, 3 Comedy Central specials, and one HBO Special, He’s Just Not That Into You, Walking The Room, The Reigning Monarchs, and I feel like there is a lot left to do.

I’d love to make some kind of bigger impact in comedy whether it be just podcasting, the Starfish Circus, making something with Dave or my wife. I’d also like to make the single greatest surf and ska album of the new millennium and make and sell custom cardigans and tux pants! This has been a blast. I will miss your e mails.

Okay, I am not sure you could possibly know how much it means to me that this odd set of questions had any kind of self actualization to it.  I am humbled by that and in awe of your willingness to answer these questions so thoroughly and candidly.  You are a rock star and a wonderful soul.  I feel truly privileged to have had this level of interaction with you.  This has been a great great interview.

To recap:
Sweet good god damn this was an excellent interview
Seriously, wow
Wifey is back in town
She is at a local version of a book launch today
Today, is of course Oct 25, 2011 (for those of you reading not on the release day)
Walk Out Walk On, page 188, bitches!
That also means I have been at this job for a full year
And I am no longer on probation
So, there is a bit of a sigh of relief here
I am now more difficult to fire from the job I don’t like
And I will be the only person in the office tomorrow
Week 11 of 13 for contract job 2
Would love to interview anyone out there
Let me know if you want to do 20 Questions Tuesday
More interviews on the way
Have a great week folks

20 Questions Tuesday: 171 - Chris Burnham

It is Tuesday again and time to post this bad boy… today I am posting to both the blogspot site and the new and shiny tumblr site… it is shiny… so so shiny. Get ready folks, I am porting over to tumblr…

I belong to a comic book artists forum called Ten Ton Studios. If you go through my archives you might see some of the work that I have posted there. Anyhooo…. one of the “officers” over there is a fellow by the name of Chris Burnham. He is one of the most detailed pencillers I have ever seen. His lines are chock full of potential energy that you can almost see them vibrate off the page. He is technically precise, while allowing himself to be almost whimsical with some of his shapes.

I asked him if he had any books to plug and he suggested (his words, not mine) “Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition - an oversized hardcover edition of last year’s sold out critical smash, complete with all new art & backup features” as well as Batman, Inc.: Leviathan Strikes #1. Both of these books are slotted to come out in December of 2011. Officer Downe on December 7th (hmmm 70 years ofter the attack on Pearl Harbor? Coincidence? I think not) and Batman, Inc coming out later that month.

Enough of the jibber jabber! On to the questions:

So when I was in high school, I was quite un-abashedly a comic book geek and a nerdy nerd from Old Nerdtowne… Question 1: How would you have classified yourself in High School and looking back, how would you classify your high school self now?

High school… I’d say that I was an upwardly mobile nerd. I had a pretty solid squadron of fellow nerdy types but I mixed pretty well with everyone else. I went to a really small private school - my graduating class was something like 54 people - so everyone got to know everyone else pretty well. Which has its pluses and minuses… Sidebar: in 7th 8th and 9th grade I was a SUPER dweeb and a real late bloomer (I’m 6’3” now, but at the beginning of freshman year I was shorter than my mom, who is 5’4”), and I feel like that nerdy rep followed me through the last three years of high school. Or perhaps it was all in my head and I was the only one who thought I was still a nerdy little twerp. Heh… my junior year I went away to Spain for the fall semester, and became a pretty popular dude with a really attractive girlfriend. (Hi, Leah!) That school was really eclectic and weird… the popular kids were all writers & musicians rather than lacrosse players, so I think I fit in a little better there and it gave me a new chance to figure out how a new group of people would perceive me. ANYHOW, when I came back to Pittsburgh I have a very specific memory of a couple of girls I’d gone to school with for the last four years giving me a "Whoa, look at Chris Burnham all grown up" look… but then I immediately launched into a discussion about the markets in Spain selling bull testicles and skinned rabbits, and they snapped right back to “What the fuck is wrong with that dude?” Haha. Bitches.

Looking back, I definitely could have dated a lot more girls… I think the key is actually talking to them rather than creepily leering at them from across the lunchroom. Who knew? But then again, if I were a swinging dick stud in high school, maybe I would have knocked up my girlfriend and had to work in the plant to feed my family and never been able to follow my dreams & draw comics for a living. And I’ve got a great lady, to boot (Hi, Erin!), so I guess it’s worked out pretty well.

I see that you have answered questions like this before. This 20 Questions should go really well… So Question 2: So people’s art evolves over time, it is part of the artistic process. Art should grow and change, sometimes gradually and sometimes radically. For me, one of my earliest shifts occured when Walt Simonson took over X-Factor way back in the day. The angularity of his lines and the chunky spot blacks that he uses to denote soft rounded objects was incredible. Can you think back to anytime when your work has had one of these radical alterations, and if so, what do you think was the catalyst for that evolution?

I can think of two big style shifts. When I was first trying to break in around ten years ago I was trying out a bunch of different styles… from a Jim Starlin / John Buscema sort of thing to trying to be John Totleben to Katsuhiro Otomo, without much success. Granted, I was doing a terrible job of marketing myself… if I would have put my stuff on Penciljack at that point I’m sure my career would have taken a drastically different turn. Anyhow, when I moved here to Chicago I started developing this character, Valentine, with my roommate Nathan Allen. He was a pulpy spy-smasher sort of character and I thought that trying to do an open linework David Lloyd sort of thing would be perfect. I tried the style on one little sketch, saw that it worked, and jumped right into inking the story! We printed up 1,000 copies of this 14-page ashcan and gave them to everyone. I started getting work based on that, and for the next few years I worked pretty exclusively in a David Lloyd/Milton Caniff/Jean Paul Leon sort of style. Heavy black brushwork, not much detail.

A few years later I read an article about Richard Starkings starting up Elephantmen. I’d given him the Valentine ashcan, he really liked it, and we’d kept in occasional email contact. So out of the blue I emailed him to ask if I could do an Elephantmen backup. He agreed, and as I was flipping through Ladronn’s Hip Flask artwork to look for reference and inspiration I became taken with the idea of applying some Milton Caniffish shadows to Ladronnish linework. It worked pretty well and my career took off with Elephantmen leading to Nixon’s Pals to Fear Agent to X-Men to Marvel Mystery… And it’s been a much more subtle growth since then… adding in some Darrow for Officer Downe and then mixing in some Quitely for Batman.

That was some significant sequential art name dropping going on there. Truth be told, I am going to need to spend a good day just looking for these references. Clearly some of them I know off the top of my head, but others are a bit more obscure. Question 3: How would you describe your style to someone who is not versed in the nuances of sequential art and its artists?

Oh, jeez… hopefully it comes across as detailed art with dynamic compositions and clear storytelling. I dunno! I certainly draw the shit out of backgrounds and people getting killed in horrible ways.

Boy! Howdy! You do know how to off some people in bizarre ways… always well-done, but Bi-Zarre. Question 4: Your work seems to be almost made for Bat-stories, is there a character or book out there that you dream of regularly drawing?

I’d love to try my hand at the New Gods, who seem to be alive and kicking again. I wouldn’t want to draw Kalibak or Desaad, tho… Kirby killed those guys himself and I think they should stay dead.

I dunno, maybe do Challengers of the Unknown as kindof a Tom Strong or Planetary sort of thing? Or the Fantastic Four? Or adapt Thor’s Journey to Utgard somehow?

So, you have a near encyclopedic knowledge of all things sequential art and/or comic book-ish. This means, that you must pretty much eat, drink, sleep, and breathe comic books. Which leads to my Question 5: when you are not drawing/reading/signing/etc… comic books, what do you do? Your vocation is my hobby, so what are your hobbies, what does a Chris Burnham do during his down time? (was that Inside the Actors’ Studio enough of a question?)

Hob…bies?

Heh. I suppose I don’t really have one at the moment. Yikes! I listen to a lot of forensic shows… I’ve seen/listened to just about every episode of Unsolved Mysteries, Cold Case Files, Forensic Files, Disappeared, Dateline, 48 Hours, The First 48, Crime 360, all that shit. Disappeared is the best show of its kind ever. Discovery ID. Live it!

Kids, if you’re ever arrested for anything, shut up and get a lawyer! The cops ain’t got shit on you!

(Also, don’t commit any crimes)

Question 6: Do you see any of your love for forensic procedural shows creeping into your books or, worse yet, your daily life? For example, Wow, Honey, if I were mad at you, this ditch would be a perfect place to hide your blood drained body. I could dump a 50 pound bag of lye on it and the remains would be nigh unrecognizable… Please pass the salt.

Hmm… The more of these shows I watch, the more I’m convinced that the only way to get away with murder is to kill a random stranger… and where would be the fun in that? Err… what I mean to say is killing is wrong, kids!

I CAN recall one night after I’d gone on a serious forensic binge, and I could not sleep… my brain was stuck on murder mode and I seriously could not think of anything for more than 5 seconds before my brain spun it around to murder or prison. It was absolutely terrible.

Question 7: Do you think that the abundance of these forensic dramas is ruining actual prosecution’s cases because the level of technology in actual crime labs is no where near the fake level of technology shown in the shows? Do you think that juries are looking for more definitive evidence that is only available in TV shows?

Um, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m watching. Forensic Files, Dateline, 48 Hours, etc are all documentary shows - actual crimes, interviews with the victims, police, reporters etc… I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen an episode of CSI.

I don’t really have an educated opinion on the so-called CSI effect. I’ve never been on a jury and I don’t have any evidence on whether or not it actually exists. Sounds plausible, I guess, but if a prosecutor isn’t able to convince a jury that the defendant belongs behind bars, then he hasn’t done his job properly, right? Reasonable doubt and all that. I do know that eyewitness testimony is horseshit and people give false confessions all the time… I think juries should be far more skeptical of that kind of evidence than they are.

Oh, man, how about that Cameron Todd Willingham case? I’ve seen his story on three or four of my shows and every time it gets my blood boiling. Really seems like Texas executed an innocent man. State-sanctioned murder, if you ask me.

No, I got that you were looking at the real deal, I was curious, since I imagined you have seen some of the procedural forensic dramas, if you thought that the fantasy versus the reality could be tainting a jury’s conclusion of “reasonable doubts.” I think the more documentarian shows that one finds on A&E, the Science Channel, Discovery, etc… show more realism than the dramas. I think it would be really interesting to see a drama that dealt with reality in a crime drama. That being said, I am not sure I would want to watch a lab tech titrate some chemical to get a precipitate to put into a mass spectrometer… Maybe the dramas have it right for the entertainment value.

There are too many death penalty cases where post execution, the person was exonerated by newer techniques and new details. It really is state-sanctioned murder. seriously states, you are better than that, don’t stoop to their level.

So, I was good in chemistry in high school, but I hated it as a subject. seriously, I was a badass at stoichiometry, but I hated the shit. Question 8: Any school topics, high school or college, that you were good at, but could not stand?

Hmm…. I’m fairly certain that while many people on death row have been freed, I don’t think anyone who has actually been executed has been legally exonerated after the fact. Independent examinations point to a lot of innocent people being executed, but I don’t think any courts have come out to put a legal stamp on approval on those investigations.

This might sounds douchey, but I was really good at school (Summa Cum Laude, motherfucker!) and didn’t really like much of it. I guess I liked math all the way up through Algebra and Geometry, to the point where I wanted to be an engineer. But trigonometry and calculus beat it out of me. I was able to memorize all the right formulas etc, but I never really understood or enjoyed what I was doing, despite being good enough to get a 5 on the BC Calculus AP test (5 is the highest score on the APs, by the way). Perfect score on the math half of the SATs, too. I was seriously so good at algebra and geometry that the questions might as well have been 2+2.

Most of that knowledge is gone, tho. I’ll do some basic algebra to figure out panel dimensions if I’m doing something tricky like wanting 4 panels in a row that get smaller and smaller at a uniform rate, but that’s about it. I was trying to do some basic subtraction a year or two ago (like, 1,153 - 827 sort of thing) and totally forgot how to borrow and carry. Ha! Comics will rot your brains, kids!

I majored in mother fucking math, jackass, I got your math theory right here. I, however, only got a 4 on the AP Calc test, so bask in your AP glory, mister, but fear my ε - δ definition of limits knowledge. I still got set theory chops and I remember some of my Calc… I have, however forgotten all my LaPlace Transform info, and my advanced diffy-q knowledge I have forgotten more math…. I think it would take another 4 years of courses to get back to my mathematics fighting weight.

Question 9: One of my favorite questions coming up: I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, then to Birmingham, Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio and settled in Columbus, Ohio…. What is your geographic story?

Haha! No sets for me, and I have no idea what those goofy squiggles mean. You win, Scotto!

I was born in Connecticut (no city for you, identity thieves!); lived in Avon CT until I was 7; moved to Sewickley (suburb of Pittsburgh), PA; went to college in Washington, DC; lived in Pittsburgh for one more year; moved to New Haven, CT for a year; and have been in Chicago, IL for the last 9 years.

Question 10: Which of those places resonates as your “home-town?”

Sewickley.

I went back a few weeks ago for the first time in over two years. I really miss it. The roads are so much fun to drive on & our woods are so awesome. My brother and I found a few caches of vines that would have made for some awesome swinging if we had a solid afternoon to get them cut and the runways cleared. Next year!

Question 11: Since comic books are relatively geography-less and you can pretty much do your job anywhere there is computers, scanners, and the Internets, what is keeping you in the Windy City?

The people. I’ve got two great circles of friends here, based around The House Theatre of Chicago (the theater company I did design work and illustration for seven years), and the Chicago comic book community. Plus a bunch of other buddies I’ve picked up at random jobs, parties, etc. It’d be tough to leave all of them.

Friends will do that to you. It is nice to have a large local cadre of friends to draw on… or so I am told. I tend to find more community online than in real life. There are some people I have never met that I call friends. Which leads me to ask. Question 12: How has the blossoming of social media and social networks affected your interactions with people or your life in general

Hmmm… well, I certainly waste more time on Twitter now that I’m on Twitter! It’s cool to keep in casual touch with comics buddies who I normally only see two or three times a year, and those casual interactions pay off when we get to see each other in person at cons. And it’s a nice ego boost when some pro I think is awesome starts following me before I start following them. I thought I was really hot shit when Ilya Salkind friended me on Facebook… until I realized that he’s friends with almost everyone in the industry. Still, being fake friends with the producer of Superman is awesome!

I guess I’m developing a halfway decent fanbase. I’m closing in on 2,500 Twitter followers… (@theBurnham) hopefully that’ll translate into increased sales of the new Officer Downe hardcover, but who knows? I certainly follow a bunch of people whose comics I don’t regularly buy. Too much shit out there to read everything, but I like to know what people are working on, if only to avoid overly awkward conversation when I see them in person.

There’s only thing worse than the despair in someone’s eyes when you’ve never heard of their project is their despair when they’ve never heard of yours!

Seriously, if you can get your 2500 followers to send you $20, you could pocket $50k (before taxes or expenses). You should make that request of your followers and see if you can just live off them like that friend who is “just gonna stay on your couch for a few weeks until I can find a place.”

Question 13: Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain way you have to have your materials laid out before you can start working on a page, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

Ha! I should do a 50/50 Twitter raffle! Winner takes half the pot, Burnham’s Home for Wayward Comic Artists takes the other. Genius!

I’m sure I’ve some lingering superstition somewhere, but I really don’t have much patience for that stuff. If it doesn’t actually exist, why waste your time on it? (says the guy who makes his living drawing fictional characters. hmmmm…)

I guess I’ll knock on wood, but I treat it more as a reminder to not take anything for granted. Plus I think it’s funny to say “Knock on, err.. particle board” or whatever non-wood substance is at hand.

Yeah, when I stopped playing sports is when I lost my belief in the superstitions. The ritual of putting on the sporting vestments was VERY superstitious, but since then I can’t think of anything superstitious either.

Question 14: So, other than Walking the Room, are there any other podcasts that you listen to?

Oh, man… a bunch. Going down my iTunes list, the ones I’m actively listening to are…

The Economist

Freakonomics

Jordan, Jesse GO!

Judge John Hodgman

My Brother, My Brother and Me

NPR: Planet Money

The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe

Skeptoid

The Tobolowsky Files

This American Life

Radiolab

WTF

You Look Nice Today

and the occasional comic podcast when the interviewee sounds interesting… War Rocket Ajax, Word Balloon, iFanboy, Around Comics.

I listen to, or have listened to many of these, so looking at it that is about maybe 20 hours of padcasts a week, correct? If you like Walking the Room, might I suggest subscribing to Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo. It is not as sad and pathetic and a bit more whimsical.

One of my mantras in life is “Funny over nice.” Often if there is a nugget of funny in a situation, I will try to mine the funny prior to showing any significant compassion. Question 15: Do you have any personal mantras?

I used to listen to Never Not Funny. If memory serves, I thought the free content was annoyingly shilly and rather than upgrading to the $ version I stopped listening altogether. I do think those guys are funny, but the show always shut off just as it was getting good, and it started to feel like thy were purposefully doing a shitty job at the beginning to make me pay for the good stuff.

Personal mantras…

"The hard part is over. Here comes the hard part." At the moment I’m doing it, I feel like each and every stage (of the creative process, or learning, or growing up, or whatever) is the most difficult thing in the world and am looking forward to the next stage, which I’m sure will be a cakewalk by comparison. It never is.

And some storytelling ones I learned from my film professor, Dr. Thiel.

"Get inside the action." "Realize is not a verb." "If I didn’t see the handkerchief, there’s no handkerchief."

I have always loved Pardo. I dig his stand-up and have for a while, and his payment scheme is not too bad for me, but I couldn’t afford all the podcasts I listen to if they all had that model. I think the 20 minute free version of NNF was always a commercial for the full version.

I adopted my wife’s family mantra, “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” And until recently, I have been letting the fuckers get me down, but I am working on that.

We are closing in on the end of the interview, so thanks for sticking with me so far (interviewee and reader) Question 16: Who is the coolest person you have met? Not necessarily the most well-known, just the coolest, and I hope it is not someone well-known.. That makes for better radio.

Ummm… Natasha Henstridge’s husband Darius was pretty cool. I assumed he was a 40-ish European billionaire prince or something, but it turns out he’s just a 30-something millionaire pop star… Kinda disappointing in retrospect.

Honestly, the coolest person I can recall meeting was this 10-year old kid at a comic convention a year or two ago. This kid was just so self-assured, casually inquisitive and well-adjusted… seriously the most socially capable human being I’ve ever met and he was only 10. That dude is going to be the president of the universe.

Question 17: Any questions that I should have asked you?

Q: What’s the awesomest shit ever?

A: Getter Robo. Nearly all of it is available as free scanlations at

Shit is super fun. Brilliantly mindless entertainment. Most of the anime versions are pretty cool, but the manga is tippity top.

And you provided a link. You are the awesomest!

Question 18: Any questions that you want to ask me?

You’ve been a Ten Tonner for quite awhile… how’d you get involved? Confession: for some reason I used to think you were Jason Baroody’s girlfriend!

Okay, the confession was completely unnecessary, because deep down aren’t we all Jason Baroody’s girlfriends?

Maybe 5 years ago I started remembering how much I loved to draw. I was in a dead end job that was not taxing me creatively and I started to frequent the comic books section of The Drawing Board. I started drawing again over there in little baby steps. I was a lurker for a while because I hadn’t picked up a pencil for drawing a good long while. In college I was only a few courses away from a studio art minor with a focus on pen and ink. And then I stopped drawing for 10+ years and lost most of my ability. After lurking I started contributing there. Over there I was only mmmpig.

That forum is a great forum, but it was a little bit too sunny for me. Very little solid criticism and more of a “you can do it, keep trying, way to go” vibe. I was always impressed with the work Baroody was posting there and most of what he was posting there was associated with some kind of Sketch Challenge thingy. 4 yrs ago I followed him back here and devoured the art all of you were throwing up, and as I read the threads I realized that this was a much better community for me. Crits at TT are solid and never unprofessional. The banter is way more vulgar and snarky and a bunch less cream-puff and sunshiney. So I stayed and slowly I have been trying to recover the drawing skills that I let get too rusty.

So my goal now is to win a Ten Ton Sketch Challenge

Question 19: How can people see your work in person and online?

Is this a subtle dig at me for never updating my website or posting art? ;)

I’ve got a slightly out of date portfolio at chrisburnham.com and I’m fairly active on Twitter where my handle is @TheBurnham. I’m on Facebook but don’t really do anything on it other than look at pictures of my niece and nephew. And of course I’m on Ten Ton.

Convention season is over for the year, so other than bumping into me at Dark Tower Comics or Challengers Comics & Conversation (both here in sunny Chicago), I think the next chance for people to see me in person will be the Emerald City show in March and C2E2 in April.

In the meantime, the Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition comes out on December 7th (pre-order yours today, kids!), and what was originally going to be Batman Inc #10 comes out, um, eventually! Hang in there, kitty cat, it’s gonna be great!

I want to thank you profusely for taking so much time with me. Especially since this interview will be seen by at most 31 people. I got juice… I got juice. Since this is the last question, let’s make it retrospective. Question 20: Did you come away with anything particularly interesting from this set of 20 questions? Learn anything about yourself through answering the questions? and/or did you at least enjoy this long drawn out process?

It’s always fun to answer questions I haven’t been asked before. Thanks!

Holy Shit! Amaziballs! This was an amazingly fun. Thanks so damn much, Chris!

To recap:

Wifey is out of town until Sunday evening

Sweet Jeebus and all that is Holly! That is a long time away from now!

This weekend is Mid-Ohio Comic Con!

I will be at table 1024 with the amazing Brett Wood

Sitting next to William Grapes and Matt Horak

There will be drawings

Spaghetti for dinner?

The kids will like it

Me? not so much… I am kind of tired of the spaghetti

Not sure that I will partake of the pasta meal

So, who likes the tumblr?

Me

That’s who

Still trying to work out the bugs with tumblr

Have a great weekend everyone