20 Questions Tuesday: 221 - Deborah Frieze

This week I get the amazing pleasure of asking 20 Questions of a family friend. She started out as a friend of my wife and has quickly migrated to Favorite Aunt status amongst the kids.  Deborah Frieze is an author, she is a systems innovator, she is visionary, she is someone you should know about and watch change the world one system at a time, and more than anything else, she is delightful.  Granted, she will categorically deny most of the above points, but that is how people play this game.  For more information on what it is she does, get her book Walk Out Walk On… Fun Fact: from page 188 to page 219, the book is all about the work my wife does and the people with whom my wife works.  FYI: These 20 questions started waaaay back in July and concluded yesterday.

Anyway… let’s get this party started.

I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  The fam moved to Montgomery , AL as my father chased his Air Force career.  We moved up to Birmingham, AL when the AF Career dried up.  I left B’ham to go to school in Kent, OH and followed my then fiance, now wife to Columbus, OH for grad school and have been here for the past 15 years.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born on Greenlawn Avenue in Newton, MA. When I was an age that was still measured in months, we moved a few miles away to Windsor Rd. End of story — my parents still live in that house. However, as soon as I turned 18, the geographic whirlwind kicked in. While I always had one foot planted in Boston, the other roamed from place to place to place. Let’s see if I can remember: Colorado to Hawaii to Connecticut; then San Francisco, New York and Ottawa; and then the nomadic years — South Africa, Zimbabwe, India, Mexico, Brazil, Greece. Now I’m back in Boston. Again.

Question 2:  In your roaming… how long would you typically stay in these places?  Would you be able to set up some kind of residency or were they truly transient existences?

I’d generally stay anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. And rather than get an apartment anywhere, I’d stay with friends who essentially become my local family — kind of like I have a room in your house, which makes me an honorary citizen of Columbus. That is, until and unless your daughter decides to reclaim her room.

With the new house that we have, we actually have a guest room.  So you could stay longer if necessary, and the girl can claim her room.  Everybody wins.

Question 3:  Including mine, how many surrogate houses do you have?

Let’s see. Two in Zimbabwe, one in India, one in Brazil, one in Mexico, one in Canada and five in the U.S., including yours. Hmm… looks like I have to work on my European relationships.

So, South America, North America, Africa, and Asia… You need Europe, Australia, and Antarctica.  Stop slacking.

Everyone wants to know, a la the Paul F Tompkins bit, Question 4: Cake or pie? Which kind and why?

Neither. It’s all about ice cream. Just had my all-time favorite tonight: Purple Cow. That one aside, nothing beats a mean mint chip.

So, when we took you to Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, you really were a kid in a candy store.  I went there with the boy and my dad a week ago and had a root beer float made with their salty caramel instead of the vanilla….. Oh.  My. GOODNESSSSS….  I highly recommend.  Highly.
Anywhoo… Question 5: So what is a typical breakfast for you and what did you have for breakfast today? 

I usually have a nut bar, and a granola bar, but today was cold pizza for me.
When I replied to your last question, I feared I might dishearten the Ryan-Hart family by not mentioning the ambrosial experience I shared with you all at Jeni’s. The omission was due to the fact that I couldn’t remember the name - or the flavors - I had there. But I can remember the transcendent experience of eating that ice cream. Over and over again. And here’s what I have to say to all readers of this interview: JENI’S OF COLUMBUS IS THE BEST ICE CREAM EVER!

Moving on to your breakfast question.

I eat the same thing every day. Plain yogurt plus two items off the following list: slivered almonds, cranberries, granola, banana. That’s it. About an hour after that, I walk three blocks to Chinatown and pick up a sinfully sweet Hong Kong tea, which consists of black tea, piles of white sugar and condensed milk.

That was what I had today. It’ll be what I have tomorrow and the day after that. Only today, I threw in a curve ball — just gobbled up three Swedish Fish. The good ones. Did you know that there are good ones and bad ones? The good ones are large, soft and very gummy. The bad ones are small and kind of break off when you bite into them instead of stretching.

Wow, you know how to live it up.  Swedish fish is quite the curveball… you’re quite the crazy risk taker.  Crazy-Ass Deborah is what we call you in Casa Del Ryan-Hart.  She once threw on a few Swedish fish into her normal granola almonds and yogurt breakfast.  That’s Crazy-Ass Deborah… We freeze our positions, with our heads tilted in mid-laughter, and credits roll. Our lives are a sit-com, and you are the wacky aunt who visits occasionally.

Question 6: So, since you like Hong Kong Tea, do you like southern Sweet Tea?  It is super-saturated with sugar.

I have never tasted southern Sweet Tea. Now I want some.

oooh, southern sweet tea is crazy sweet.  There is some serious chemistry stuff going on with sweet tea.  By heating the liquid, southerners are able to add more sugar and create a super saturated solution of tea, sugar, and water.  Southerners also have a kind of tea called “Sun Tea.”  This tea is brewed by leaving the pitcher in the sun for hours and occasionally stirring.  In fact there was a brand of tea bags called Luzianne hat was shilled by Burl Ives back in the 80’s in the south.

Question 7: Bing Crosby or Burl Ives? Who would you like to be stuck on an island with during Christmas time?

Burl Ives? Bing Crosby? OMG, what’s a good Jewish girl to say? Answer to your question: Adam Sandler & the Hanukah song, hands down.

Full disclosure:  I know that you are Jewish and that was part of the fun in asking that question.  Sandler would be a better choice to be stuck on an island with during Christmastime.  Firstly because he is not dead, and secondly, he would probably help out on the island.  Burl is pretty much useless weight and Bing would be a ruthless abusive taskmaster to be stuck with on an island.  I like that you always go for a third un-named option.

You are someone who I know lives “in a question,” so… Question 8: What is the over-arching question that is driving you?  What question are you attempting to answer through your thoughts, actions, and intentions?

O no you didn’t! You did. You asked the Big Question. I wondered if that was going to come my way. Okay, time to dig deep.

There are three over-arching questions, all of which are unanswerable, which is what makes for a good question. The first is the mother of all questions, which I’ve borrowed from my dear friend Allan Cohen: “What is a life well lived?” How about hanging out with that one?

The second is less metaphysical and more vocational, which is "How do we create the conditions for healthy and resilient communities to emerge?"
And the final question I believe is essentially another way of asking the second question, if you really think about it, and that is, "Where shall we have lunch?"

(You, my dear Scott Ryan-Hart, as a bit of a geek like me, I fully expect to get the reference. Your readers, I’m not so sure…)

Oh, I did.  Of course I did.  I like breaking out this kind of question early when dealing with people I know are introspective and consistently working within a question and consistently questioning… and as for lunch “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”  

Question 9: Correct me if I am wrong, but you are currently in the process of re-aligning your work, is this partly due to attempting to address your second question?

Yep. Definitely the re-aligning of my work, as you accurately put it, is still related to this core question about healthy and resilient communities. Over the last 10 years, I spent most of my time asking that question in the Global South. The message I received from my friends and colleagues in Southern Africa, Brazil, Mexico and India was the same: “Go home. Make change happen there. That’s where we need you to make a difference.” So in asking the question about creating the conditions for healthy and resilient communities to emerge in the U.S., I find myself turning toward the Local Living Economy movement — the idea that we might rebuild our local economies through local ownership, local production for local consumption and wise stewardship of natural resources.

Always helping.  I cannot wait to see what you end up doing.  It feels like you are on the cusp of something big.

Question 10: So, what do you do in your down time?  What does a Deborah Frieze do to pass the time?

Right now I’m watching the Olympics streaming on my laptop while I write this message to you—which is the only way I can watch it, since there’s no TV at home. Does that count as down time? Or is writing you work? Hmm…

Lots of time spent at the gym, practicing yoga, dancing and doing anything I can to move my body, which is what my friends remind me I must do lest I become unfriendly. And, of course, to allow myself to eat unlimited amounts of ice cream (see Question 4).
Also some guitar playing, singing, camp-firing, kayaking, meditating and the occasional leap out of an airplane.

The Olympics are seriously fun.  We just "cut the chord" for our cable service and are therefore limited in our Olympic viewing capabilities, and, wow, NBC seems to really be dropping the ball on its coverage and its editorial editing.  That being said, I watched 1-man pursuit cycling for a bit last night and it was cool.

Question 11: Most of your downtime activities are movement related.  Do you consider yourself a kinesthetic learner?  Do you remember things better when you learn them while moving? Do you integrate thoughts more when you are not still?  

Absolutely and completely kinesthetic. It’s not so much that I have to be in motion to learn (though I can’t actually utter a word without also moving my hands). It’s more that I feel like I absorb information through my body first and my mind second. There’s a sense of expanding and contracting — expansion if something rings true or is intriguing; contraction if it rings false or is uninspiring. Once I catch that response, I try to follow it with my intellect.

Question 12:  Did this kinesthetic learning cause issues in a, presumably, “shut down,” “locked tight,” “rigid” learning environment such as middle school and high school or were you lucky enough to have a more relaxed learning environment?  I for one retain information better when I draw, but that seemed frowned upon by education professionals when I was a kid.   

The kinesthetic learning thing wasn’t as intense when I was a kid. I was very active (lots of sports), but didn’t have too much trouble being still enough for public school standards. There was a lot of doodling, foot-tapping, note-passing and the odd prank or two. That said, I never felt like I retained information well. I was always much better at thinking on my feet and winging it than actually “knowing stuff.” I also subscribed to the theory that my brain was already too stuffed with song lyrics (plus band name and year song was released) to make room for any new factual knowledge.

ooh, music.  Gonna put a pin in that and ask my typical Question 13: Do you hold dear to any superstitions or rituals?  If so, which ones and where did they come from?

Oh goodness do I have rituals! Source: my father’s fervent commitment to Boston’s sports teams. As a child, I remember being sent up to the TV every time Yaz (Carl Yastrzemski) came to bat to give him a good luck kiss. And I have some vague recollection about never turning my back on Larry Bird.

While I’ve let go of many of my sports spectator superstitions, the world of ritual is definitely very much alive for me. But now we begin to tread on territory that may be a little too personal for 20 Questions Tuesday… ;-)

I do not have many rituals currently.  When I was all sporty, whenever I was getting ready for a game/match/bout I created a very specific sequence of events to assist in my preparation.  That became a my way of getting into the game space.. it became less about luck and winning and more about clearing my mind of things not sportlike.

Back to the brain stuffed with band name, realease year, and lyrics…

Question 14: From what year to what year do you have this mental catalog, what genre of music, and what is your favorite guilty pleasure song to listen to (the one that you shouldn’e like, but do, for example, Robbie Williams’ Millenium is it for me, I cannot help but listen to that)?

I don’t know exactly how early this began, but I can remember playing with my brothers’ record collection, highlights of which included Meatloaf Bat Out of Hell (1977), Fleetwood Mac Rumours (1977), Peaches and Herb 2 Hot (1978) and so on. But the most significant influence of all happened in 1979 when the Sugarhill Gang came out with Rapper’s Delight, and the Frieze household would never be the same again.

As for guilty pleasure, I confess to exuberantly singing the guy part of "Paradise By the Dashboard Light."

In 1981 I knew everything on the top 40 charts… now? I would have trouble finding the top 40 charts, and it all sounds like noise… Getting old sucks, now get off my lawn, ya damn kids, with your beep beeps and your boop boops…  Where was I again?  Oh yes… Question 15: I have never understood this… what is the appeal of Meatloaf (the “artist” not the foodstuff)?

I have absolutely no acceptable answer to this question. I can’t even make one up. Meatloaf has absolutely zero appeal to my adult self. The musical tastes of my pre-teen self are as archaic as my tastes then in eating Fun Dips and wearing parachute pants  There is no explanation for such phenomena.

I wish someone could explain the phenomenon of Meatloaf to me.  Question 16: Given that you think your pre-teen self’s music is a bit archaic, would the 12 year old Deborah Frieze be happy with the different aspects of the current Deborah Frieze’s entertainment choices (books, movies, TV, music, etc…)?

I suppose the displacement of pre-teen pop music and blockbuster movies in favor of indie flavors would have seemed inevitable. My pre-teen self would perhaps have been most perplexed by my current TV habits, which have been whittled down to only the Daily Show and NFL football — two choices that would likely have tortured my 12-year-old soul.

I am pretty sure that 12 year old me would be beyond perplexed by my current viewing habits.  Number 1: having “cut the chord” and relying almost solely on streaming media would confound my 1986 brain, and number 2: My reliance on podcasts for audio entertainment… primarily people talking without comedy… You’ve changed, man.  You’ve changed…

Question 17: Is there anything that I haven’t asked you that you wish I would have?

Wait, wait… Isn’t that supposed to be Question 20? What could you possibly have up your sleeve for Questions 18, 19 & 20 if you’ve already popped the “whaddid I miss” question? Hmm… an enigma you are, Mr. Scott Ryan-Hart.

Okay, how about this… You get to choose one of the following questions for me to answer:
1. What stupid human trick can you perform?
2. Who is your celebrity look alike?
3. Do you have any experience with guns?

OOOOH!  The stupid human trick one!

I can cross one eye.

Sounds harmless, but looks pretty freaky - or so I’ve been told.

Well the next time you are in town, you will have to show us the trick.

Now is the question I have been dreading asking you, and pretty much anyone who has witnessed my wife’s ability to ask wicked questions…

Question 18: Do you have any questions for me? /cringe

Wow. Awesome.

Question 18: How did you nail as hot and cool a woman as Tuesday for your wife?

(Good luck.)

The only way I can figure this out is that it was a perfect combination of timing, and pure , raw unadulterated dumb-luck.  She was young and, from what I can gather, temporarily addlepated.  I really have no idea and I thank as many gods, goddesses, spirits, and powers that be everyday for her lack of decision manking at that moment, and her sense of duty and how she feels she needs to fulfill her obligations (i.e. her relationship with me).  In the contest of relationships, I won and she lost. easy as that.

Penultimate question… Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

What I’m taking from these 20 Questions is my unexpected delight this format! As someone who far prefers conversation — particularly the spontaneous kind — to email, I confess to having approached this exchange with some skepticism… Would I follow the thread of conversation? Would it engage my attention in a meaningful way? Would you try to entrap me? The answer is yes, yes and undetermined — you have one question remaining, as well as the possibility of abusing my confession about listening to Meatloaf. But then again, I trust you. (Shouldn’t I?)

The next question is not about Meatloaf or your potential love for the deep cuts on a Styx album… the next question is, luckily for you, one of my prescribed questions.

Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.  Be as realistic or philosophical as you want to be as well.

What’s next for me is a bowl of pho. Beyond that, I’m moving to a new home in Jamaica Plain (Boston) in November, exploring whether or not I’m going to write a new book about the Localism movement and launching a Boston-based impact investing fund. Local is hot; travel is not — that’s my new motto. Now I just need to learn how to break the airplane addiction and find a way to stay connected to friends and communities around the world that have taught me so much over the past decade. Everyone is invited to come visit me in Boston — most especially, the Ryan-Hart family. I promise to provide ice cream.

Well, this was delightful.  I always enjoy asking people I know more than we typically talk about.  Deborah is an amazing person and has a book out that should be read.  So, go read the book, Walk Out Walk On.  Check out the book’s companion website, and Deborah’s personal website (www.deborahfrieze.com).  When you are done reading her book, keeping up with the companion website, and perusing her personal website, give her a follow on the twitters.

To Recap:
The 4 yr old had to go to the ER this morning because of contact dermatitis from the Myrtle Spurge plant
Swollen face and itchy rash
Bad news all around
She is now on going to be on Orapred for 15 days
President Obama is at the OSU today
That will make getting home a challenge
Especially since I need to go close to campus to pick up the girl’s meds
Screw you, Myrtle Spurge!
Oh, boy! 15 days of 4 year old girl rage beast coming up
Have a great weekend, everyone
Donate iffens you wanna…. on the actual web-page…waaaay down on the left
No, further down than that… still further… on the left…. there you go

20 Questions Tuesday: 220 - Changing Seasons

Last week, I put out the call for questions because I was not sure if my last interview was going to be done in time.  Scott Johnson put on his boots and pushed through the last few questions on Monday and viola, Interview Gold!  I mentioned that I might post some 20 Questions as an addendum last week, but I was tired and had stuff to do.That being said, also, last week, the temp dropped 20 degrees in like 4 hours and then my sinuses just filled up… and kept filling. Ah, one of the signs of the change of seasons.  Ergo the call for questions about “Changing Seasons.”  therefore last week’s questions are this weeks questions.

Without further ado, Thanks this week, other than to the wonderful Scott Johnson, go to Brett Wood, Dr B-Dawg, Chris Ring, and AllRileyedUp

Onto the questions!

1.  What is your favorite season and why?
I love the winter, because it is crisp and clean and the bugs are done with.

2.  Which season is your most hated and why?
I hate winter because it is soooo damn cold.

3.  Any significance to the names of the season?
Not really… Winter, Spring, Summer, and Autumn… I guess Spring means something.

4.  Don’t know much about the season of the witch, but is that the Fall?
I will say yes.

5.  What do you think it would be like if we didn’t have any seasons?
Southern California

6.  Are you more of a “Fall” or “Autumn” person?
I like the Autumn… Fall is something I do regularly.

7.  Do you get your pumpkins from a patch or the store?
Usually from a patch.

8. How is the fall foliage in Ohio?
It is pretty darn awesome!

9. Is there any better stretch of year than the 60 days from Halloween to new year?
Hmmm…. now that you mention it… not that I can think of.

10. What is October named after?
Emperor Octavius

11.  How come we have 2 names for Fall/Autumn but one name for the rest of the seasons?
Because Fall is a verb, and not really a name… It is a colloquial name.  Spring isn’t called Grow and Summer isn’t called Cook.

12.  What changes more, The inside of your house or the outside of your house when the seasons change?
Outside of the house.

13.  Do you believe in the Great Pumpkin?
Nope… the Mediocre Pumpkin? Yes, this pumpkin grows from the pumpkin vine every fall and then allows itself to be made into pie.

14.  What’s your favorite season?
Fall.  I love all the colors

15.  What closes down at the end of summer that makes you say NNNOOOOOO!!!!!
My faith in humanity…. meh, change “summer” to “adolescence”

16. “Changing seasons” to me means “start of school” which means start of children’s fundraisers. why do we have SO MANY fundraisers? Don’t they understand that I only have so much money to buy pizza kits, gift wrap, and artwork on a mug?
They don’t care… they are near bankrupt and need the moolah, the greens, tha Benjamins…

17.  Ever seen the aurora borealis? I don’t know if that is close enough to topic but I’ve always wanted to see it.
Nope, I have never seen them.  I would LOVE to see them.  There is a pretty good shot to see them for many places this week, from what I understand.  

18.  Favorite myth about why the seasons change?
If there is one that involves Coyote and tricking someone… go with that one.  Always go with Coyote… If you meet Him, He will trick you, but you can count on that… it is what he does.  Always bet on Coyote.

19.  Hazy Shade of Winter — Simon & Garfunkel or The Bangles?
Oh, most definitely, the Bangles.

20.  What is your favorite season?
Summer, (well near Summer) because that is when the entire family has their birthdays… May through July.

To recap:
The sinuses are better now, thanks for asking
I am knee deep in GPS points and the error inherent in handheld GPS coordinates
I am also elbow deep in a database that looks worse and worse every time anyone gives it any scrutiny
Stupid scrutiny
2 more weeks of course 1 in the new education quest
I am enjoying the course
I feel like I am doing well
I have a ton of reading to do now
And tomorrow
And the day after
And after that
Always bet on the Trickster
Hobbitsies are tricksy
Have a great weekend everyone
Donate if you want…. waaaaay down on the bottom left of the full site… not the tumblr feed

20 Questions Tuesday 219: Scott Johnson

This week I get to ask a guy who has his fingers in many things internetty.  Scott Johnson is a web comic artist, a podcaster/pocast mogul.  Scott has a voice built for radio and a sense of humor that is meant to be behind closed doors and laughed at with hands covering mouths.  He is not on radio and he puts his humor out there for everyone to see and partake.  I became aware of the good Mr Johnson through his podcast Current Geek (with Tom Merritt).  Current Geek was a my gateway drug to all things Scott Johnson and his Frogpants network.  Current Geek led to Fourcast which led to Hypothetical Help, and so on… He is a regular host on a boat load of existing podcasts and a frequent contributor to even more. I often find myself giggling at his online cartoon, My Extra Life, and he is a hoot on the twitters.  So without further ado, my 20 questions with Scott Johnson.

I was born in Oklahoma City, OK, moved to Montgomery, AL on my third birthday, then lived just northeast of Birmingham, AL for 13 years when I went off to school in Kent, OH for 5 years.  I followed my fiance down to Columbus, Ohio where I married her and have been living ever since.  I got my MA in geography and love maps and stories of geography.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah, and have lived there and around there most of my life! Most of my life I spent in a small suburb of SLC called Sandy City, and went to high-school there as well.  I spent a couple years in the south, specifically Mississippi, Louisiana and a small part of Arkansas.  But for the most part, despite some travel here and there, I’ve called the Salt Lake valley home my whole life, and I love it here.  I met my wife in Mississippi, but we both went to college out here in SLC, so it was an easy choice to settle down here.  I have three kids, ages 12, 15, and 18.  All of whom are amazing.  I now live in a town just southwest of SLC called Eagle Mountain.

Well that does seem very Utah-centric.  I get this question all the time about my collegial choice, since it took me so far from the deep south.  Question 2: why did you venture south for a few years?

I went on a 2 year mission for the LDS church, typical for 19 year olds who grow up in the church.  Most of my time was spent helping people deal with flooding, poverty situations, and other such service style stuff.  Was a great experience. Taught me a lot about what it means to do help people with zero expectation for pay or personal gain.  I count that time as pretty invaluable.  I think I’m probably a better father and husband as a result.  Before I went, I was kind of a self-centered waste of space.

I was not sure if you were LDS or not, and I wasn’t going to make that assumption based on your locale.  A really good friend of mine from HS is LDS, and he got to do his mission trip to, I think, Andorra, between Spain and France.  Of course we were already in Alabama, so I guess they couldn’t really send him to experience something new in MIssissippi, but I do think he lucked out.  He is now happily married and active in the LDS church in the SLC area and we trade quips to each other ocassionally about our respective MLS soccer teams.   I actually got to visit him once when my wife had some work out in Sundance… gorgeous area.

Question 3: Cake or Pie?  Which kind, specifically, and why, specifically?

Often depends on the quality of the cake or pie in question, but generally, I will go pie if I can.  The right cake can sway me though. :)

Quality really always is a trump card.  But if I am reading you correctly, it is a win for the pie column.  I might need to find some kind of widget to tally the votes…

This is a question I typically ask my graphically artistic 20 Questioneers.  Usually this question has been used on comic book artists, but I will modify it to include humorous online comic artists. Question 4: When did you realize that you were good at drawing? Specifically, when did you realize that you were especially talented at visual story-telling?

This sounds trite and stereotypical, but this happened when I was 6 years old.  I drew Burt and Ernie on a chalkboard, and everyone around me thought it was amazing.  That feeling never left me:  Specifically, that I could draw things, and people would think that was cool.  It pretty much evolved from that.

That doesn’t sound trite at all.  I realized that I was adept at the drawing when I was 5 and drew a pilot’s head in the cockpit of the jet I was drawing.  It was in the basement of a Presbyterian church… in many ways it was predestined…. (oooh a joke for religious scholars… I am comedic genius) Question 5: Did you get formal training in graphic arts, or are you just that damn naturally talented?

Loads of what I do now comes from trial and error, constant attention to a daily sketchbook, and “trying” stuff.  But I did take a load of graphic design and illustration courses in college as well.  My college Life Drawing class still benefits me in very specific ways all these years later.

I know, I constantly refer back to the fundamentals that I learned in Drawing 1 & 2.  I should have done more design classes, but I was a studio art major and design classes were frowned upon by the studio advisors.  Would have been way more useful than some of the courses I took.

(editor’s note: thought I had a Question 6, but clearly I don’t, let’s assume I asked “Do you know the cure for cancer?” for Question 6.  His answer was “Sadly, no.” )

Question 7: As many reader’s (there are like 5 people who read this) I have adopted my Mother-in-Law’s saying, “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” Do you have any sayings, mottos, credos, adages etc… that you adhere to and, if you do, where did they originate.

I do actually!  One in particular: “The only absolute in life, is that there are no absolutes.”  I love that one.  Alternatively, I like the refrain, “watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat the yellow snow.”

I love that “absolute” one.  I also love “There is nothing permanent other than change.”  Seriously though, yellow snow is bad whether or not it is due to huskies.

Question 8:  Fill in the blanks: A: I feel that I am mostly _______. B: Others feel that I am mostly ______.

A: I feel that I am mostly scatterbrained. B: Others feel that I am mostly chill and collected.

Question 9: What do you think is the cause of that discrepancy? “Scatterbrained” is nothing like “chill and collected.”

I’m not entirely sure.  I am always so driven to create stuff that I forget to breath, relax, and take the time I need to recharge.  I think people see my output, and my ability to mask my business, and see that as calm and collected. :)

You do have multiple outlets to create.  To my knowledge you have copious amounts of audio content that you create through your podcasts and mountains of visual content that you create through your art.  Question 10: Is there another media that you are looking forward to give a go? Have you ever wanted to tell stories through film or to write or sculpture, etc…?  What is the Scott Johnson untapped creative endeavor? “3 questions in one?” you ask.  My blog, my rules Mr Johnson, this is my dojo.

hehe.  Film and video for sure.  I have some ideas coming soon. Also, I would LOVE to finally make the children’s book I’ve had in my head for more than a decade. Hopefully all of that will see light soon!

I think you would be a great author for an age 8 to 12 children’s book.  Your art is well done and has a bit of a quirky style,  you are capable of tapping into younger senses of humor, plus you seem to be a rather virtuous dude.  I hope there is not anything truly holding you back from this, because you could very well create something crazy good.

Enough ass kissing on my part…  Question 11: You, admittedly, have a crappy left-eye.  How/why did you get into visual arts with a crap eye?

My right eye REALLY wanted it. :)

Ha!  Brilliant.  It is good that your right eye told the left eye what’s what.

Question 12: Since you are a burgeoning downloadable media mogul, how do you see the state of entertainment consumption in the next 5 years? Have you noticed any data within your own feeds and subscriptions that indicate and potentially predict any significant growth in the independent “on demand” audio and video podcasts?

The biggest change is the proliferation of handheld devices, and their ability to grab content at will.  Cloud services and over the air syncing, and streaming are the fastest growing part of the content I build.  I suspect that will be the norm coming soon.  Way less of people consuming content via computers and notebooks.

I imagine that we are only beginning to see what the mobile and streaming space is capable of consuming and what creators need to generate.

Here we are at unlucky 13.  Question 13: Do you have any superstitions (salt over the shoulder, etc…) or rituals (calming or centering techniques to get you ready for an activity) in your life? If so, where do they originate?

Not really.  Maybe I need a few.  I find myself at Nerdtacular, ready to go on stage, and feeling like I could really use a ritual. :)

Little processes to clear one’s mind are often very helpful.  That is about the only way I use ritual anymore.

Clearly, podcasting is an addiction of which you suffer greatly.  It seems that when the opportunity to podcast presents itself, you cannot help yourself and just have to podcast.  Question 14: What else in you life can you not keep yourself from participating in, if the opportunity presents itself?

This might sound a little odd, but if presented with a giant foam pit, I am getting in there no matter the cost or consequences.  If I could add one to my current house, I would.

That. Is. Brilliant.  You should most definitely add a room to your house that contains both a trampoline and a foam pit.  You would be the most popular person ever.

Question 15: Do you consider yourself primarily a podcaster by profession or do you generate most of your personal income via your art and graphic design work?  I have no idea of how economically viable podcasting is as a profession.

Right now it’s about 50/50 for me, but it seems to ebb and flow some months. Honestly, I think I can probably attribute my little slice of success from being able to do both.  They complement each other, and make me more flexible than others trying to do just one or the other. I’d really be miserable if I could only do one honestly.  That sounds weird, but I really feel that way.

Wow, 50/50 is not a bad distribution at all.  Honestly, I don’t think needing both aspects of your work to fulfill you workwise is odd at all.  I need to find the correct components to my work, because it is seriously unbalanced at the moment.  You should also try and figure out a way to monetize falling into a foam pit from a trampoline.  You do that, and the path to heaven is paved in gold, my friend, gold.
umm… Question 16:  Is it just me, or did the whole “my friend” aside above seem a bit presumptive?  Maybe just a bit too early… Should I have used the aside of, “my enjoyable Internet acquaintance” instead?

hehe.  No, friend works.  Funny you should ask that.  It’s one of the things that I love about the Frogpants community.  It is so much more than a one to many arrangement, where I don’t get to know anyone out there.  Some of the most important friendships I have in my life sprang from all this.  Incredibly grateful for that surprising benefit to independent creation. :)

It is amazing, especially with this 20 Questions Tuesday thing.  I have had deeper and more meaningful conversations within the framework of doing a 20 Questions with someone I do not know at all.  I know more about Tom Merritt from my 20 questions with him than the “angirest man in the world” with whom I work with daily.  I have visited my friend from Nova Scotia (who I met through blogging) more in the past 5 years than most of my family.  The Internet is a wondrous thing.

Question 17:  So, you have a mellifluous voice, do you have a favorite word to say?  Aside from you saying something, do you have a favorite word to hear, just because of the sound of the word and not the meaning behind the word? I like the word “squad” repeated about 4 times… “squad, squad, squad, squad…”

I have a favorite phrase, that I have to say as straight faced as possible:  ”It burns when I pee.”

Well, I, for one, hope that you are choosing to say that and not required by medical predicament to say that.

Well, turnabout is fair play, so… Question 18: Other than “what do you do for a living?” do you have any questions for me?

What do you WISH you did for a living?  ;)  Kidding. Here’s a real question:  How do you come up with these questions? They were all quite good.

I will entertain both questions, because they do fold together nicely.  I wish I were able to actually do interviews like this for a vocation.  I like asking questions that people don’t often get asked.  It allows me to see more than just their canned responses.  As far as where I came up with these questions… well, some are from conversations I have had with my friends growing up and some are just things I am genuinely interested in.  If you read through my interviews, you will see that many of the questions are the same.  Geographic story, the fill in the blank, cake or pie, the superstition one, this question and the next two.The rest of the questions I try to come by organically.  Usually the typical questions are good seeds for more in depth conversations.

Question 19:  What are you taking away from these 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

I like how these questions remind me of why I am motivated the way I am.  At least in certain ways.  It’s a nice way of stopping the crazy train for a moment, and looking a little deeper at what I am and why I do what I am doing.

Then my work here is done.

Okay, the final question… Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.  Be as realistic or philosophical as you want to be as well. 

Next?  Oh man.  Who knows.  I plan about a week ahead these days. My kids are growing up so fast, that honestly the big next thing could be the crazy sounding idea of being a grandfather sooner than later. This could be a reality for me in the next 5 years or so, and it
completely freaks me out, especially because I am still young! I just re-read all that, and I am even more freaked out.

Hopefully between now and then, I will record a lot of podcasts, and draw a lot of stuff to help sooth the pain. :)

Well, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to do these 20 questions.  I have enjoyed the hell out of this and I am really happy to have met you and chatted with you so in depth.  You are a delightful person, and I love you work.

Follow Scott on Twitter with @scottjohnson and check out his breadth of work via his website hub frogpants.com.  Podcasts, Live Streaming almost daily, and Webcomic.  Do it!  Hell, he even has a channel on the Roku.

To recap:
This was amazing
Scott is amazing
I am halfway done with my fist class for my second grad degree
Soon, my pretties, I will be crazily over-educated
And under employed
Oh well
Seriously, a crap-load of reading again this week
I mean, come on!  I read a shit-ton last week
Cthulhu monsters for the Ten Ton Studios sketch challenge this week
Should be awesome
Wife heads out of town tonight
She will be back this weekend
Bonus 20 questions might be coming up tomorrow… might
Because I care
Ohio Comic Con is this weekend
I will be hanging with the creator of The Infernal Fyre-Dragon and the Silver Bullet
It will be teh awesome
Have a great weekend all

20 Questions Tuesday: 218 - Work

So, things they are a changing all over the workplace, the guy who brought me on, is no longer my boss, the project I was working on, I am now the de facto project manager… No raise in pay, mind you, just more responsibility.  Oh, well… such is work life…

This week, the topic of note is “Work.”  Thanks this week go to TheMikeStand, AllRileyedUp, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions:

1.  ”Find a job you like, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Truth, or nonsense?
I don’t know.  It would require me having had a job I like.

2.  Which song is better? "We can work it out" by the Beatles, or "Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues" by Jim Croce?
I have to go with Rose Royce and “Working at the Car Wash.”

3.  Do your kids ever “work it” to get what they want? (e.g. crocodile tears, begging and pleading, batted eyelashes…) To which kid’s tactics are you more vulnerable?
Of course they work it.  They are kids.  We have found that we are most vulnerable to the ceaseless crying and whining…. Oh, God, why won’t they stop?

4.  What would your ideal workday schedule be? Obviously the standard 8-hours-with-two-fifteen-minute-breaks-and-a-one-hour-lunch works for everyone.
Hmmm… I think 6 hours days with a 30 hour work week would be best.  30 hours would be wonderful…..

5.  Fill in the blank(s): All work and no play makes Scott ___________________________ .
Cranky as a wet cat.

6.  Work, work, work…
The story of my life

7.  Why is “Work” all I have time for these days?
Because, shit costs money, and life”requires” shit.  Stupid, stupid shit

8.  Is work going to ultimately turn my hair gray?
My kids did that to me… How haven’t your kids turned your hair gray?  What’s wrong with your kids?

9.  If you view it as “work” and not “fun” does that mean you hate your job?
Yes

10.  Finish the sentence: “All work and no play…”
Makes people cranky as wet cats?

11.  Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5. Best work song? Discuss.
While 9 to 5 is a delightful work song, I enjoy “Career Opportunities” by the Clash, because, good goddamn it’s the Clash.

12.  In physics work is defined by the equation W= Fd, where W is work, F is force, and d is distance.  Is that really work?
Hells no!  I don’t get paid for no Fd’s

13.  Have you ever hired anyone?
Yup, I have been through the hiring process a few times.  I have been eclipsed professionally by most of my past employees.  One is the GIS Coordinator of a town in Massachusetts, one is the GIS Coordinator of the company I previously worked for, and one is a GIS Analyst for another company.  I look at teh holz n teh grownd, yo.

14.  What is your favorite part of work?
When the whistle blows, and I jump out of my cab, and slide down the brontosaurus’s tail and jump into my soft-top car, and start my way home. YAbba Dabba DOOOOO!

15.  Have you ever asked workaholics what workahol tastes like?
Nope, but I bet it tastes like bile and broken dreams.

16.  How long have you been working?
13 years if you do not count being a grad school teaching assistant… I don’t, but if you are wondering about today, it was about 8 hours, and went off to get my teeth cleaned.  I have some fillings from the 90’s that need to be replaced…booooo

17.  How many OSHA violations does your current workplace have?
I would say about 32

18.  Is parenting work?
Ummm… Yes, however it is not a job.  Jobs require economic compensation for time and effort, and all parents know that isn’t happening.

19.  Which is worse, conference calls or, good god, what is worse than conference calls?
Not a damn thing… well, maybe the fiery pits of hell, but that is questionable…

20.  Is this working?
Nope, this is not working at all.  

To recap;
Q had to go to the ER last week
Her breathing was severely compromised
She was on Orapred all week
It was crazy-making
Seriously crazy making
She was out of her mind on the Orapred
All is well  now though
Woo hooo
Little Man is on his school’s cross country team now
He runs more than I do
I need to run more
Week 4 of new grad school now
Sooo much reading
I need to get my graphics software installed on the new machine
Oh well…
Have a great week, people
Donate if you wanna… way down on the left

20 Questions Tuesday: 217 - Vice

This week, as I stare at about 6 empty plastic Mt Dew bottles lined up in loving tribute in my office, I find myself thinking about the topic of vices.  Apropos I should say.  I love me some Mountain Dew.  It is lovely and keeps me awake during the boring hours of my day… otherwise known as when I am at work. Anyhoo… this week’s 20 Questions is all about the topic of “Vice.”

Thanks this week go to Dr JHP, Chris Corrigan, Guido, and some other guy…  Onto the questions!

1.  When do you cross the line from an acceptable pleasurable indulgence to a vice?
I think it has to do with one’s capability of walking away from the pleasurable indulgence and how much of a negative effect a pleasurable indulgence has.  

2.  Miami Vice good vice or bad? The TV show not that damn movie!
For the time it was good… it… it does not hold up.

3.  Does a viceroy fit in here anyhow?
There is always room for a Viceroy… I always prefer the term Vireroyal though…

4.  How do you cure a vice? Should you cure a vice?
Complete and total avoidance is the only way to really “cure” a vice.  Should you absolutely cure it?  That depends on how bad it is for you… most likely though.  That is the nature of a vice.

5.  Is there an equal trade off between a virtue and a vice or is there some type of ratio or formula involved?
That is an in-equal equation to say the least.

6.  This whole 20 questions thing is some kind of vice isn’t it? What’s in it for you that you’re ashamed of?
It does seem to be something of a vice… I think I am ashamed of just how much time it takes to pull off successfully.

7.  Joe Biden is the most vice-less Vice  President. I always thought that job title could bestow a wicked evil genius image on the incumbent but so far these dudes have been duds. Cheney and Nixon being notable exceptions. Not even sure if this is a question. But discuss anyway.
Plagiarism isn’t a vice?

8.  When you discover that someone else has a vice, is it good etiquette to enable it, attack it or keep quiet about it?
Depends on the vice and the circumstances.  If someone’s vice is hard core IV drug-use, you might want to attack it just a bit, however, if it has something to do with saltine cracker consumption… just make merciless fun of that person.

9.  Miami Vice.  Just say no.
umm… No?

10.  Vise grips… what gives?
The little lever on the handle is what gives

11.  Crockett or Tubbs?
Tubbs was cooler, but Crockett had the better angle (he always went low while Tubbs brought the shotgun up high)

12.  Did you ever just watch Miami Vice just to see the opening credits to listen to Jan Hammer’s Miami Vice Theme Song?
That and the end credits, baby!  Everything in between is just crap.

13.  Okay, last question about Miami Vice, the TV show…. Who was the best guest star on Miami Vice?
Liam Neeson as, get this, an Irish terrorist.  That, my friends, is possibly the definition of “cliche.”

14.  Okay, I was kidding, that wasn’t the last question about Miami Vice the TV show.  As a kid did you think that Crockett was the coolest dude ever?  He lived on a boat, had a pet alligator, was a cop… What do you think of him as an adult?
He is utterly and completely broken… Mainly because his ex-wife on the show was Sheena Easton, come on, really?  

15.  Shouldn’t the Vice President be the president of a specific vice?  Like the President of Porn, The President of Gambling, The President of Drugs?
Yes… Yes there should… I can think of no greater thing at all.  That might be the best thing ever.

16.  Doesn’t everyone have a vice of some kind?
I think so, it may not be as bad as a coke habit, or even a caffeine addiction, but everyone has some kind of vice.  OMG… I lerv teh Pockey so much! I just wanna eats it all the times!

In this case Pockey is not the vice it is intentionally bad spelling.

17.  Veni Vidi… ?
Vici?  That’s not really a vice.

18.  Have you ever tried any of the things that would get you sent to clink by a vice cop?
hmmmm…. I have looked at the porns before, but that is about it.  I am sadly, pretty straight-laced.

19.  Other than Mt Dew, what vices do you have?
I love frosting…. and Doritos… not at the same time… That is gross.. It is difficult for frosting or Doritos to stay in the house for very long.

20.  Seriously, is this blog a vice?
I am addicted to it (I think I might be the only person) and it does drive me to distraction somedays… usually Tuesdays.

To recap:
Wifey is out of town until Friday night
The Sklar Brothers will be doing some of their comedic stylings this weekend in Columbus
I will be there
With my friend, Brett
It will be glorious
I need to pee
Seriously, I really have to go. but this blog is really getting in the way
This is definitely a vice
It is keeping me from accomplishing simple bodily functions
Is peeing really an “accomplishment” though?
I mean, really, peeing will happen even if I wait too long
Especially if I wait too long
Maybe the “accomplishment” is peeing in the proper place
Yep, this blogging is a vice and I am having a hard time getting away from it
School is going well enough… so much reading though
Seriously, I have to REALLY pee now
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 216 - Anniversary Edition

This week my wife and I celebrate our 15 anniversary of getting married.  I would say 15th wedding anniversary, but that would mean we would be celebrating the 1 year anniversary of our 15th wedding, and that is just silly.  Anyway… she is an amazing person, and I am lucky to know her much less be married to her.  She is a badass and I am a shockingly lucky man.

Thanks this week go to Kelly, Lsig, and some other guy.  Onto the questions!

1.  If you could go back in time and command the presence of any single person at your wedding — LIVING OR DEAD — who would it be?
I would right a wrong and have Dr B Dawg in my wedding party and have him attend.  His presence was missing at the wedding and every day I think about it I wish he was there and I feel bad for not including him explicitly… yes, he would have been naked.

2.  Crystal or watches? Or don’t even bother and chalk up some required large purchase to the “anniversary” (my spouse and I gave each other several thousand dollars of foam insulation two years ago, but we’re crazy romantics)?
We bought a house, Bitches!

3.  Planning a wedding in the age of Pinterest.  Aren’t you glad you missed that one?
Oh, sweet mother of god!  I would hate looking through all of the websites my fiance had pinned…

4.  Are we of an age now where there are no more weddings to go to until (1) our kids and the kids of our friends start getting married or (2) our friends start having their second marriages?
There are still a few weddings going on with people who are a few years younger than me, and just a little late to the game.  In fact one of my former employees got married this past weekend on September the 1st, or as I like to call it, September Fools’ Day.  Other than that, we are more in the time frame of marriages dissolving instead of new marriages.  In 3 years though, may be a different story

5.  Do you have anniversary traditions?
Not especially.  We do love a celebratory dinner…. mmmmmmmm celebratory dinner. In all actuality, we have wanted to travel out of country for the anniversaries divisible by 5, but this year, we bought a house instead of going out of country.  20 will be epic though… super epic… beyond epic… epic-er than epic.

6.  Your guests had fun at your wedding. Did you manage to enjoy it?
Well, wifey danced the entire time, and I shmoozed for most of it.  It was a great time.  
7.  How long should a couple be married before an anniversary party is appropriate?
I’m gonna go with 20.

8.  Do you think anyone is surprised that you’ve managed 15 years (for the record, I’m not!)?
I think there may be a few people, in all honesty, who are a little surprised, but none of them matter, partially because a few of them have died, and the others have pretty much moved on from what I can tell.

9.  How has it possibly been 15 years?? We aren’t old enough for that, are we?
I know, seriously?  It is killing us.  How did we get this old?

10. Do you believe in marriage as an institution: forever one marriage to one person?
I think that singular marriage is one way of dealing with coupling in today’s society, but I don’t quite think that it works for everyone in today’s society. I feel like there is a bit of an undue pressure put on people to enter into a relationship that statistically has a strong possibility of failing.  I think there needs to be some paradigm shifting going on with modern marriage.  That being said, I am in this for the long haul (seriously, I can’t do any better and I will fight tooth and nail to keep Wifey in my life).

11.  15 years in, is anything as you imagined it?
Well… I am not nearly as independently wealthy as I thought I would be. I was thinking that we would be living in the lap of luxury by now.  Get on that “Great American Novel,” Wifey!  Papa doesn’t want to work no more.

12.  So, what do you do as a couple now, 15 years in?
Try to get some sleep, we are so tired.  Maybe I should amend 11 with we are sooooo tired.

13.  Seriously, how much longer can you keep this going?
Well, I will hold onto this relationship as long as I have hands to hold things.  People will have to pry this relationship from my clenched fists.  As Toto has said, “It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you, There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do…” and as the White Stripes say “I’m Gonna fight ‘em Off, A Seven Nation Army couldn’t hold me back.”  Do I need to justify myself with any more lyrics? Because I will.

14.  Do you remember any of your vows?
I hate to say it, but I do not remember my vows.  Honestly, I am playing it by ear.  I have no idea what I promised that woman.  Seriously, my wife mentions phrases from the vows that I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF AT ALL. I really hope I am not beholden to some crazy vow that I don’t remember.  I just try to treat her better than anyone else (any one else I treat, or how anyone else treats her).

15.  Do your kids understand marriage?
Nope, not that we can tell.  It seems that Q wants to marry Little Man and stay in the house with us forevers… that ain’t happening.  They are both out of this house at 18, whether they are married to each other or not.

16.  Do you ever want to renew your vows?
Yes, I would love to renew them.  I would love to be able to remember what I said the first time around.  

17.  How are you celebrating this anniversary?
Well, instead of going out of country, we are going to Benihana. Chain hibachi steak FTW!

18.  What are you doing next week, when you are not all anniversaried up?
Prolly going to Benihana just to make this week less special.

19.  What are you going to do in 5 years for the 20?
Ireland?  Netherlands?  Scandinavia?  Wifey will choose this one.

20.  So, is there a winner after 15 years?
I won, she lost.  Easy as that.  She was hawt when we got married, and she is hawt now.  She is running the Columbus Marathon this October and I am a tired and overwieght balding dude with a low paying job that is unfulfilling.  Yep… I’m a winner!

To recap:
Week 2 of the 2nd master’s program
SO MUCH READING
And just a touch of writing
And quizzes
Who really likes quizzes?
Not this guy
Happy anniversary, Love
I have homework to do
And the Brother and his fam will be here tomorrow
And I need to celebrate the anniversary on Thursday
Donate! the button is alllllll the way down on the bottom of the page
Leave a comment wishing the wife condolences on her slow death of 15 years
I am slowly crushing her spirit
She said at dinner tonight that she just cannot get into her work, and she likes it
Tomorrow she will stop dreaming
Next week: her soul will be grey and devoid of life
It is an effect I have on people
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 215 - Nothing

So this week I had some difficulties coming up with a topic, so I went with an old tried and true topic… “nothing.”  It truly is one of my favorite topics.  I have 31 previous posts on my previous Blogger blogging platform.  This one is an oldy but a goody.  My first post on Nothing from the daily blog written 29 July 2009:

Nature abhors a vacuum and so do I.

One of the things I hate about vacuums is the difficulty in truly describing them. The dictionary gives the definition of “a space that is entirely devoid of matter,” but that gets into some tricky definitions of “entirely devoid” and “matter” especially when you start looking at light as both a particle and a wave.

In essence when one is describing a vacuum (the physics kind not the Electrolux kind) one is ostensibly describing an area of nothing. We all know how tricky describing nothing can be.

“A space that is entirely devoid of matter?”

Firslty, “a space”
How do you define the space? Is there a boundary where on one side there is something and on the other there isn’t? What is the interface of that boundary look like. Where do the molecules of something intermingle on the edges of the nothing… and if they are intermingling, doesn’t that mélange of something and nothing create a soup of kinda something?

Secondly, “entirely devoid”
“Entirely” means “wholly” or “completely” and “devoid” means “empty” or “missing.” So let’s parse this out a bit as well. “Wholly empty” is an odd set of terms. There is an idea that emptiness could be broken down into pieces otherwise the terms “entirely,” “wholly,” and “completely” are unnecessary. Why would one need to give that modifier if “nothing” is not divisible? The definitional nuances associated with “devoid,” “empty,” and “missing” could take days to talk about.

Thirdly, “matter”
I don’t want to get into the higher dimensionality of some of the sub-atomic/quantum physics particles to really talk about the make up of matter, but iffens y’all want me to go all quantum on this bitch, I will ask Dr B Dawg to lay down some slick physics lines, since his doctorate is in the Physics, yo. Anyone? Anyone?… Good, I didn’t think anyone wanted that. Let’s just agree to say that “matter” is not a simple matter.

As you can see, merely looking at a vacuum definitionally causes one to abhor it just like nature.

To recap:
I bet some of you are wishing the Yeti would email me antagonizing emails again
I do not control the Yeti and I have chosen the vacuum to be my favored enemy now
I get +1 to all dice rolls against a vacuum
I will whip something up for Digital Thursday tomorrow
I am starting this recap with too many “I” statements
I did it again, Crap!
Listening to Obey the Groove by No More Kings

This week thanks go to Brett Wood, Ralph Harbison, Chris Ring, Dr JHP, Guido, Grapes, and Some Other Guy.  On to the questions:

1.  Did man invent the concept of nothing or does nothing exist without man?
Nothing has always existed, man has just done a rather shoddy job codifying it.

2. Something and nothing seem to be the equivalent of Yin and Yang and binary code any correlations?
Ah, the binary conundrum.  In many ways yes, but there is more to nature than bivariate categories, and I suspect that there is something in between nothing and something, the equivalent of Yes AND No.

3. Can you really get something for nothing?
Let’s say you have a set A with no members, a null set , so to speak, one of the essential building blocks of mathematics and logic.  Now, let’s create a mathematical set B that is made up of the set A and only the set A.  Set B has 1 member to it, so the number of members in Set B is 1.  QED Bitches! Let Set A = {ø} and Set B = {A}, the number of members in Set B = 1.

4.  Is creating something from nothing essentially magic?
Nope, it is set theory, and nothing more.

5. Any thoughts on matter being essentially composed of 99% of nothing?
I find it hard to believe that is the case, but the relative distance and space between the nucleus and the electron shells of atoms is pretty large, so even though it is counterintuitive, it does somewhat make sense.

6.  If freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, and nothing is what Bobby left her, why does she not sound free of Bobby?
Because even when there is nothing there is something.  Instead of thinking that the opposite of everything is nothing and the opposite of nothing is everything, think of the opposite of nothing as everything that doesn’t exist.  She is longing for Bobby McGee, not because of the something she had, but for the everything she did not have… put that in your pipe and smoke it… (this is actually one of my issues with set theory, but that is an answer for another day)

7.  If zero wasn’t invented until somewhere between 500 BC and 900 AD, did that mean people before that time never ran out of anything?  They never had a concept of “none?”
The symbol for 0 was not created until the time you mention, but nothing was a concept prior to that.  The issue is that mathematics was really grounded in reality at the time.  It was basically for accounting purposes.  When accounts were paid in full they were basically destroyed.

8.  What really happens if you divide by zero?  Or divide into 0?  Or if you divide 0 BY 0?
A: You cannot divide by 0.  B: Your answer is always 0 when you divide into it.  C: in the case of 0/0, A takes precedence over B.

9.  Is 0/0 = 1?
Nope

10.  What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich don’t need it, And if you eat it, you’ll die?
Simple… nothing

11.  
I will answer astutely with

12.  As I recall you studied some more than elementary mathematics in college. What are some ways to represent nothing?
0, , __, ø, nothing, nada, de rien, naught, none, zip, zilch, bupkis, zero, nein, { }, {ø}, etc…

13.  How big of a gap is there between something and nothing?
Both infinite and infinitesimal

14.   If a woman says nothing is wrong how much trouble is a man in?
Words cannot convey that amount adequately.

15.  
Again, I believe the answer is “Why Not”

16.  Seinfeld.  Discuss.
There is nothing to see there.

17.  Why do you reckon we cannot divide by zero?
I think eventually we will be able to, but that branch of math is currently closed to us.  We simply cannot wrap our tiny lizard brains around the concept as of yet.

18.  After Chuck Norris has roundhouse kicked you to the face, do you think you go somewhere, or do you think that you simply cease to exist?
Even the great Chuck Norris cannot break the law of the Conservation of Mass.  I believe when 72 year old Chuck Norris does his roundhouse kick, I will fall down, but I will not be kicked through a wall, over trucks, through trees, etc… As badass as Chuck is, he is 72 and endorsed Huckabee, which didn’t really “win.”  Therefore Chuck is not infallible, and his roundhouse is not all powerful.

19.  This will sound stupid (hopefully) but one of my favorite poems is “Nothing” by John Cooper Clarke. Do you have a favorite literary work that is about nothing?
“Signifying Nothing” by Brian Rotman.  Other than that, the antagonist in The Never Ending Story.

20.  What can you say about nothing?
Anything you want.

To recap:
I started school again this week
I forgot how much reading was associated with Grad School
I have assignments due Thursday night and Sunday night
I re-ran Week 7, Day 2 of my 8 week couch to 5k program
It was necessary
Today I need to run Week 7, Day 3 today…
And then I think I will stretch out Week 8 to 2 weeks long
Running is hard
It was not always that way
But it turns out that I am old now
Stupid age… making my bones and feet hurt and shit
I am tired and I need some sleep
Stupid work and school getting in the way of sleep
I got a side-contract for some illustration work
That should help pay for tuition
So, So tired
I guess my High School had its 20 year reunion this past weekend
I did not go
Listening to WTF with Marc Maron
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 214 - School

Tomorrow is Little Man’s first day of school at the new school.  Nervousness abounds in the household right now.  He was in a class that was crazily engaged and consistently successful at his last school.  His classes consistently won the read-a-thons, the school spirit competitions and all things like that.  They won pizza parties left and right and even won a pool party because of their efforts on some fundraiser or such. really that class was crazy close knit and very motivated… so motivated, in fact, that the parents were crazy motivated as well.  A bit of a chicken/egg sitch there, but the parents at the last school were super involved and, in truth, I felt like I could never hang with their level of commitment. Therefore there is trepidation about Little Man going into a new school.

Therefore this week’s questions are all about new schools… we all have had to go to new schools.  So thanks this week to Dr B Dawg, Chris Ring, Lsig, and Some Other Guy for the questions this week.  Onto the Questions!

1.  When did school become a verb?
About the time you need to learn something on the mean street.

2.  What do you think of the new same-sex school movement?
I think same sex and to some degree homeschooling have the same issues.  The potential for a serious lack of socialization and cross-pollenation.  If you are only surrounded by like minded, like hormoned people, you are likely to find your education lacking.

3.  Do you consider yourself more old school or new school?
Sadly I am a bit old school.  The way that they are teaching these days is radically different than was taught when I was in school.

4.  Of all your schools, which mascot was your favorite? Why?
Let’s review all of them.  Chalkville Cougars, Center Point Indians, Hewitt-Trussville Middle School Huskies, Hewitt-Trussville Junior High School Trojans, Hewitt-Trusville High School Huskies, Jefferson State Community College Pioneers, Kent State University Golden Flashes, and Ohio State University Buckeyes…. The Golden Flashes, because it is the most vague of them all…. and I really loved my college years.

5.  In a related question, Kent has an eagle and squirrel as a mascot. Why isn’t there just an eagle? There is no way that squirrel lasts on the sidelines for more than five minutes. Unless perhaps that squirrel is juicing. So,my main question is now evolving to this: Is it true that Kent administers steroids to create a super race of black squirrels to drive eagles to extinction?
Well much like the Auburn Tigers cry War Eagle and the Alabama Crimson Tide have an elephant… Kent State is the Golden Flashes, but since it is one of the few places in North America with a sizeable black squirrel population, the Black Squirrel is the defacto mascot.  That being said, the squirrels are juicing, and it is University sponsored.  This is to take down the neighboring, and equally vague, Zips.  You are going down, Zips!  Down!

6.  Worst first day hazing: Starfleet Academy, Jedi Academy, or Xaviers school for gifted youngsters?
Xaviers, for certain.  So much teenage angst, coupled with untrained super powers.  

7.  What nickname did you get your first day at Delta House?
Persona Incognito… They went all uppity and Latin on me.

8.  Best lunch to take away new school jitters consists of?
Chocolate chip cookies for everyone (no nuts).

9.  Is “New School” like prison where it’s best to take down a Neo-Nazi the first day to establish your rep?
Most. Definitely.  Wrap around that mo-fo like a python and bite off an ear… NO ONE WILL EVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN… you will also never get a date.

10.  Appropriate time lapse before letting your new school know you’re a comic geek?
In grade school?  Day 1.  College… 2 weeks in… because you have to go get your pull-list.

11.  How long do you estimate it takes a brand new school to acquire that school (aka”milk-carton-and-industrial-vomit-cleaner”) smell?
Negative 5 days.  Turns out the construction workers have weak stomachs.

12.  In what, if anything, do you consider yourself New School? Old School?
New School, I feel that I am fairly capable of altering my thinking patterns and adapting to not only the present, but also the future.

13.  When fish join a new school, is it hard for them to make friends or do the popular fish want to date them right away?
Well… when a popular fish goes from an old school to a new school, they are woefully under prepared for the transition.  The go from being the pinnacle of social status to being in the doldrums of anonymity.  However the uncool fish from the old school, spend the time necessary to re-invent themselves and become the “cool new fish” like in a John Hughes’ movie.  It goes both ways…

14.  Seriously, back to school sales are crappy.
That isn’t really a question, however, that is deep-fried truth on a stick.  That’s called Sate Fair Truth.

15.  Hogwarts:  Which house would you be in?
Is there a “Funny before nice” house?  Slytherin seems to be about sinister self motivated things, Hufflepuff is all about helping others, Ravenclaw is pure intellectualism, and Gryffindor is  all about bravery and shit.  Where does a wise-cracking pompous ass go?  I suggest the fifth house of Follery Hilarimus… the colors are Purple and Silver and we are legion.

16.  Which artistic school are you most unimpressed by?
Pop-Art.  Lichtenstein stole every single damn one of his compositions, and he stole them from people who were not being paid crap.  They were complete lifts of a composition and not homages to the original pieces and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you a Roy Lichtenstein lithograph.

17.  "School’s Out for Summer": Perfect anthem?
Not especially.  It is good for basically one day a year for about 15 minutes, but for that 15 minutes… oh, man, that 15 minutes.  For that 15 minutes it is sublime.

18.  Why aren’t there any other groups of organisms called a “school” other than fish?
That is a good question.  I think it has to do with the 3 dimensionality of their group.  Unlike a flock or a herd, a school has 3 axes to work with, and a pod of whales is not a school because they are mammals.

19.  Do elementary schools need mascots?
If your particular institution of learning does not have competitive teams (intellectual OR physical) it does not need a mascot.

20.  Do you consider yourself old school or new school?
Old SKOOL, Bitches!
 
To recap:
The fridge is out again
I have a crazy headache
Things are afoot
I might be able to tell you later
Curious?
Good
The playroom is painted
The downstairs is being painted even as you read this
Provided that you are reading this the week that I post it
You probably are
Of course you are
Why wouldn’t you be?
I start school next week
Have a great weekend
Good lord!  It’s still Tuesday somewhere

20 Questions Tuesday: 213 - August

So we are firmly ensconced in the month of August now, and that level of of Augustness makes me think of August as a topic…. Well, that makes sense.  So to enjoy this Augustitude, let’s take some questions on August.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, theMikeStand, Chris Ring, Nadolny, Dr JHP, and Allrileyedup.  Here we go:

1.  If you were a superhero and your name was AUGUST, what would your superpower(s) be?
Heat Ray and the noise of crickets.

2.  March has a Lion and a Lamb associated with its weather. What animals would you assign to August, and why? Why? For the love of god, why?
the vole… it is the potato chip of the prairie.

3.  Would you rather be remembered as an august councilman, august CEO, or August Playmate?
august procrastinator

4.  August around here, as with many other places, is marked by high, high humidity. How does your family deal with humidity? If you tell me you have air conditioning, I will kill you and move into your house.
Sharpen your knives and get ready for the act of killing.  We have an air conditioning, although we haven’t had to use it much due to mild weather this year.

5.  The Counting Crows album “August and Everything After” became the soundtrack to my high school summers. Even just the first few notes of “Round Here” still sends me on nostalgic trips. Do you have such an album in your history?
Hmmmm… Well, Mr Jones, there isn’t one that comes to mind.  Round here, I guess the best that I can really come up with is the album that I listened to my last summer in ‘Bama with my more metal-esque friends, which was The Persistence of Time by Anthrax…  Time and time again, I will listen to any songs on that album and think back to multiple living rooms in perfect blue buildings on Sullivan Street, late nights, pizza, and rented VHS movies

6.  August has no US holidays, what’s up with that? I need a holiday.
Create some “Me” time… make a holiday in the month and call it “Meday.” Celebrate it with food… mmmmm food holiday based on me.

7.  August 26th is annual go topless day, are you participating?
Best I can do is open the sunroof.

8.  Anything left on your Summer bucket list before school starts?
Nope. Got back into school and moved to a kickass house.  I think that is pretty much it for the summer.

9.  August was named after Augustus Gloop which is why we eat a lot and why we are lazy during August right?

Nope…  You got so much of that wrong… it looks like it took effort to get it that wrong.

10.  Who was the most august King Of England? Queen of England?
Queen Elizabeth I is the most august.

11.  Was there a more august monarch than the above?
Not that I can think of… she was pretty badass.  Her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard

12.  Do you know anyone (personally) named Augustus?  Would you name your kid Augustus. You know what I mean, I know you didn’t, but do you find it an acceptable name, or does it weigh the kid down.
I once met a kid (he was 12-ish when I was 17/18-ish) whose name was August. He was a cousin of a friend of a friend, and very well could have made that name up for the day… I think it is a hard act to follow.  It would be akin to naming your kid Wondrous Emperor.

13.  Do you prefer August in the Julian or Gregorian calendar?
Since it is the one in use, I will say the Gregorian.

14.  There are no (US) national holidays in August.  But there are these holidays: Friendship Day, Assumption Day, National Aviation Day, Women’s Equality Day and Islamic Ramadan (Ok, yeah, I wiki’d that). Which is your favorite?
Assumption Day is my favorite, but that is an assumption on my part.

15.  How’s the new digs? Ok, that’s not an August question. How about, How’s the new digs now that it’s August?
The new digs are great, and it is August, one might say that I now have august digs.

16.  So from what I remember August is named for Augustus. If you were to rename the months after more contemporary leaders/personalities what would this month be? (Bieberus will land you in front of a firing squad).
Let’s just look at the presidents of my lifetime and come up with month names associated with them.  
Nixon: Dickuary
Ford: Ford
Carter: Teethuary
Reagan: the Gipper — Month Name: Gipply
G.H.W. Bush: Blahvember
Clinton: Clitonber
G.W. Bush: Rocktober or maybe Toyotathon (a la Daniel Tosh’s Completely Serious)
Obama: Barack

17.  31 days in August, it’s the end of summer and summer is good so why not 32, 33 days?
It is a net sum gain.  There are only 365 days (plus change) so the days would need to be taken from somewhere to add to August.  Therefore if you add a day or 2 to August it has to come from somewhere.  Summer ends at the same time regardless of what number is on a calendar.

18.  Most of the back to school ads begin in this month, how long before that moves into July?
2 years

19.  Why is August the 8th month instead of October?
That is an interesting question, because it actually started out as the 8th month. Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar added their months in between June and September and messed up the numbering system.  Arrogant bastards… at least their venerators were arrogant on their behalf. 

20.  Is August an appropriate time for kids to go back to school or do you think they should wait until after Labor Day?
I think the last week in August makes the most sense.  That was kids get to ease back into the school year with a short week.  Ease them in.

To recap:
We celebrated Little Man’s birthday this weekend
Therefore the house was put together except for the grown up people’s spaces
My studio, Wifey’s Office and our bedroom are still relatively untouched
And full of crap
So much crap
I am hungry
Chinese for lunch?
I think so
We have to get a mini-cell for the house
Just too many dead zones in the house cell-wise
Gotta fix that stuff since we got rid of the land-line
The next big project will be the bedroom
If you know what I mean
Wink wink nudge nudge
By that I mean we need to find places to put all of our clothes
I start classes on the 27th
Cannot believe that I am going back to the schools
Little Man starts 3rd grade next Wednesday
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 212 - Janet Varney

So, I have the rare honor of asking the amazingly talented Janet Varney 20 Questions for this edition of 20 Questions Tuesday.  That’s right.  The. Janet. Effing. Varney.  I am honestly surprised she has the time to be able to do this, because she is a crazy busy lady and has had no, that’s right, no previous interaction with me.  Ms. Varney is a wildly talented comedic… um… talent.  Janet is currently the voice of the title character in the animated super-hit The Legend of Korra on Nickelodeon.  She is also probably more well known for her stint on tbs’s Dinner and a Movie with previous 20 Questionee, Paul Gilmartin.  In the comedy circles she is also well-known as the co-creator of the insanely popular and distressingly talent-filled SF Sketchfest which happens every January for over a decade.  Did I mention as well that she is the host of a podcast?  Well, she is the host of her very own podcast called The JV Club, in which she interviews/has conversations with other creative celebrity womens.  I became aware of the lovely Ms Varney’s comedic talents from here visits to Jimmy Pardo’s Never not Funny. God-awful funny stuff.  So, enough of my doing the equivalent of flapping my yapper.  Onto the question!

I have my MA in geography focusing on mapping and spatial distributions(… jealous?) so I love hearing people’s geographic stories.  For example, I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, move to Montgomery, Alabama, pretty much grew up in just to the northeast of Birmingham, Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio, followed my Wife down to Columbus, Ohio for my grad school and have been in C-bus ever since.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

Hi!

I was born in Tucson, Arizona. I left Tucson after graduating from high school and moved to Flagstaff, AZ, where I lived/went to school for 2.5 years. Then I migrated to San Francisco for a blissful 9 years, then down to LA, where I’ve been ever since!

For some reason I thought your story would be more bi-coastal instead of “Old West” to “West Coast,” but I am not sure where that notion is from.

Question 2: Is LA truly your home now, or is there still some piece of you holding onto San Francisco or Arizona as “home?”

You got me.
Even though I’ve been in Los Angeles for years, part of me definitely still thinks of San Francisco as home. There’s no way to avoid the annoying overuse of “leaving your heart in San Francisco,” but… people like me, who were intensely drawn to live there… it just stays with you. I have never wanted to move anywhere the way I wanted to move to San Francisco. I moved to LA for work. It’s a common tale. I fell in love with LA in a totally different way, but it took time. SF swept me off my feet and planted a french kiss on me from the get-go.
That’s one of the reasons I’m so grateful to have SF Sketchfest. It keeps me connected to the city.

I have heard that many a folk who have lived in the Bay Area find themselves unable to truly transplant themselves to another “home.”  That place really gets into people’s psyche.

Here is the question that everyone waits for.  The question that people talk about at the water cooler when they sit and wax eloquent about this blog (I think I have 12 readers, and I don’t think they know each other).  Question 3: Cake or Pie? and which kind specifically.  

Oh my. I guess one answer is neither: cobbler.
But… within the delicate constraints of your question, I would actually pick cake. I know, right? Bit of a surprise, since I love cobbler, right? Probably thought I’d pick pie, RIGHT?
A girl will always love a nice German chocolate cake, when done right.

Very interesting.  You are the first person to eschew the cake and pie and choose something else.  I have had a few who have said “both” and one who said “Ice Cream Cake,” but you hold the singular honor of offering a wholly different alternative.  You did pick German Chocolate Cake, which is appalling due to the coconut pecan frosting, and we all know that coconut is a horrible abomination that should be stricken from the cosmos like the blight on the concept of “Life” that it is.  So…

Question 4: Which kind of cobbler, because there is a significant difference between apple cobbler and, say a pecan cobbler? and detail what you like about the cobbler structure that makes it superior to pie in your estimation… color me intrigued.

HOLY LORD, is there PECAN COBBLER somewhere out there??! That couldn’t sound better.
I like a berry cobbler, Scott. But if you wanted to throw a little peach in there to mix things up, maybe a blueberry peach cobbler, I wouldn’t turn it down. Ice cream melting into the warmth of the cobbler also doesn’t hurt anybody.

Here you go:                      
Ingredients                                            

• 2 1/2 cups light corn syrup
• 2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup butter, melted
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 5 eggs, slightly beaten
• 3 cups pecans, coarsely chopped                                    

Cobbler Crust

• 1 cup oat flour (1 cup regular oatmeal processed to a fine powder)
• 1 cup unbleached flour (all-purpose flour will work)
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4-1/2 cup cold water                                       

Directions
                                   

• 1. Pre-heat oven to 350º.
• 2. Spray a 13 X 9 inch pan with cooking spray.
• 3. In large bowl, mix together the syrup, sugar, butter, vanilla and eggs until very well combined.
• 4. Pour 1/3 of this filling mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan.
• 5. Add pecans to the remaining filling mixture and set aside while preparing crust.
• 6. In medium sized bowl combine the two flours and salt.
• 7. Cut cold butter into small pieces and add to flours.
• 8. Combine butter into the flour using a fork or pastry cutter.
• 9. Add cold water, a little at a time, stirring until the dough forms into a ball that sticks together (I only used 1/4 cup water but the original recipe called for 1/2 cup).
• 10. Place dough on lightly floured surface and knead gently about 4 or 5 times until it is no longer sticky.
• 11. Roll out dough into a 13 X 9 inch rectangle.
• 12. Carefully pick up the rolled dough and place in the pan on top of the filling mixture.
• 13. Pour the remaining filling mixture with the pecans onto the top of the dough.
• 14. Bake for approximately 50 minutes or until the center begins to set.
• 15. Remove from oven and let cool for about 20 minutes.
• 16. Serve warm or at room temperature.

The Holy Lord provides pecanny goodness.

In truth, if you add brown sugar and butter to chopped pecans and bake, you can have almost any number of pecan dessert constellations.  The house I grew up in to the Northeast of Birmingham had 2 pecan trees.  I ate sooo many pecans as a kid, yet, I do not really like pecan pie.  I am a conundrum to be sure.

Question 5: So, you are doing voice acting, you are an actor, you do a podcast, you organize Sketchfest, I am sure you most likely have a book deal on the back burner, etc… so… If you had any downtime, what would you do as a hobby?

I do make sure I have downtime. I create downtime to stay sane. My favorite things to do with my downtime are to hit tennis balls and to ride my bike. Not at the same time.
That makes me sound really athletic. Allow me to remedy that: I also enjoy watching television, going to movies, and eating food. Food is great. Food whenever possible.

I am disturbed by the level of mental health displayed by your carving out time for yourself….  I am not sure this blog can take this level of health.  However, this healthiness seems to be tempered by the love of food.  So, I guess we can still be friends.

Speaking of food…. Question 6: What is the go to food for you…. All foods ever are on the table (it’s a big time gigantic hypothetical table), what do you reach for first?

There’s a sushi place here in LA that has food so good it kind of makes you angry at it while you’re eating it. You know that feeling? I was just there with a date the other day and he was laughing at how enraged I was by the deliciousness of my baked crab handroll, and suggested I punch it. To prove a point, I DID punch it.

It is good you showed that crab handroll who’s boss!  I have never gotten into sushi…  I don’t like fish in general, and the belly does not respond to spicy that well.  Sushi is just not a treat for me… and I am in Central Ohio, the land of scrumptious seafood (sarcasm), so that is not necessarily a detriment here.  What is a detriment here is my overall distaste for cheese.  People just don’t get that. They constantly try to win me over with cheeses.  It ain’t happening…. but I would push a toddler out of the way for some neufatel… well some good neufatel.

Question 7: Do you dislike something that others insist on trying to get you to like?

Cheesecake. I am often greeted by shock and dismay when I reveal that I don’t like cheesecake. Then, after I’ve expressed my dislike, people tell me that if I just “tried so-and-so’s cheesecake” or “insert cheesecake flavor here” cheesecake, I would at least like THOSE cheesecakes. But I don’t like cheesecake. Thus… I don’t like whatever cheesecake someone forces me to try, thinking this’ll be the bite that converts me. I don’t like cheesecake. I feel I’ve been very clear on this point. I also don’t like the band Nirvana. I respect them immensely, but I don’t want to listen to them. This is the other thing that makes me a pariah.

I understand both aspects of this sentiment.  On the one side I loves me some cheesecake and find it hard to believe that someone is not overjoyed by the sublime smoothness of cream cheese, eggs, and sugar.  On the other side, I don’t like cheese and people keep trying to get me to eat it because they cannot fathom someone not being beside themselves with glee at the mere prospect of eating cheese.  I respect your dislike of cheesecake and suggest apple pecan crisp instead.

Question 8: Other than being the voice of Korra, have you done any other voice acting?

I have… not that much, but some. I did voices in an amazing film - Dante’s Inferno- that was incredibly artfully rendered and I feel so lucky to have been a part of it in any capacity. I also did a pilot for Nickelodeon before Korra that was a huge hoot. I played a smarmy unicorn. Yes, smarmy. There are other bits and pieces here and there, but Korra is certainly the biggest job to date. And it’s been amazing! Like a dream.

I have heard that the voice acting gigs are tough nuts to crack because of the talent and longevity of the existing talent.  I love the work you do on Korra and I could see you getting more gigs due to the quality of that work… if only I were a prophet. I would be prophesying some lotto numbers right now if that were the case.  As soon as I was independently wealthy, I would throw you some voice acting bones, but really I would get myself set up first. Can’t effectively help people from the poor-house now can I?

Question 9:  Have you done any voice-over work?  I understand they are wholly different beasts.  If not, is there a product that you would love your disembodied voice trying to sell?

You mean commercial vo? Like “This vacuum will change your life!”

Interesting that you immediately went to vacuum.  Yes, indeed, that is what I was referring to since VO and Voice Acting are different (yet similar) skills.  So have you done any VO? or what would you like to lend your voice to shill?

Think I got one once? Maybe for… cheese? I’m blanking. I audition for that kind of thing when I have time, but I’m definitely not as skilled at that.

So, it was very impactful for you.  I would even venture to say that it was life altering… well… maybe not so much.

Well, since we are about to turn the corner and start the slippery downward slope… My Mother-in-Law has a wonderful family saying that is an adage as old as time and words to live by.  This sage advice is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”
Question 10:  Do you have an adage, saying, motto, mantra, credo in your life? If so, who is the source of the sagacity?

Hmmmm… an actual specific adage… do I?

This is kind of dumb, but the most recent thing that really impacted me was an old favorite song by The National. “Fake Empire.” There’s a line in it that goes “Let’s not try to figure out everything at once.”

It’s maybe not the fireworks-inducing, heart pounding, Wind-Beneath-My-Wings answer I’d like to give, but it’s been resonant for me the last couple of years.
I would have to say that “let’s not try to figure everything at once” is at least just as impactful as “don’t let the fuckers get you down.”

I am going to take this to a deeper level.  Question 11: What is the question in your life that drives you?  What is the question in your core that you are constantly trying to answer through your thoughts actions and deeds?  For example, my question is “How can I bring my professional life and career more in line with my personal life and goals?”…. and go!

I like yours. Can I take yours?
I guess mine, before I stole yours, would be something about balance. How can I balance finding contentment in the moment while still fostering my ambition for an enriched future, balance my probably-more-than-healthy-dose of fear with confidence and maturity, balance career with anything that doesn’t involve career, etc.

Balance is always a tricky thing, and I have to say that the aspects you are trying to balance are great and very well though out. For the record, I think my over-arching question just altered itself… it does this from time to time.  The newest version is “What exists that you cannot help but participate?”  I am a bit lost right now as far as what I want to do with my life.  Cataloging holes in the ground for the department of transportation just is not cutting it.

How about a palette cleanser here.  Question 12: As one of the creators of SF Sketchfest, what aspect of the festival is your favorite part in 2012? and has that changed since the festival started 11 years ago?

The immediate answer that springs to mind is our INCREDIBLE staff and volunteers. We have been so lucky to build a family of amazing, talented, professional teammates. When we started the festival, it was pretty much just the three of us doing everything. We had a great Tech Director and a fantastic House Manager (who is still with us today), but we were selling tickets, selling concessions, ushering, driving talent to the airport, and everything in between. It’s a completely different experience having people we love and trust helping us make this labor of love come together year after year.

Well, even wee little peeps much as myself in far away Ohio have heard of SF SketchFest, so whatever you and your team of folk are doing, you are doing it well.

Here we are at the dreaded 13.  Question 13: Do you have any specific superstitions that you hold or any rituals that you do?  For this purpose a ritual could be something as simple as saying some phrase to yourself prior to taking the stage to center yourself or something complicated that involves robes, chickens, alters, and snakes.

Hmmm… I’m not that superstitious. But rituals… I mean, I guess I am pretty consistent about throwing my audition sides away the second I leave an audition. That’s more about putting it behind me so that I don’t have to think about the impending rejection, but it’s pretty ritualized at this point. Like, if there isn’t a garbage can nearby, I feel irritable until I have gotten rid of them. Ugh. What a gross, boring, Hollywood answer.

Yes, you are soooo Hollywood.  I was just saying to my wife yesterday that if that Janet Varney gets more Hollywood I will just scream.

I asked 2 of your friends this question and they asked for your input (the delightful Pat Francis and the deep Paul Gilmartin).  Now is when you get to repay the favor. Question 14: Fill in the blanks.  I find that I am mostly _________.  Other people find that I am mostly __________.

Oh! The question I have secretly been dreading!

I find that I am mostly thinking about what I’m going to eat next.

Other people find that I am mostly overly excited about something or other.

Oooh!  I have questions that people actually dread?  That is teh awesome!  It is sad to say that I have become that predictable.  In truth, you are clearly overly excited about something or other and you can barely contain yourself… (is that how “Yes/And” works?)

Question 15: Is there something that you are currently over excited about right now?  It could be a project, a face cream, a new restaurant, a belt, a car, a smoothie ingredient, a new computer, a pet, a list of random things…

I am always over-excited about my podcast.
I am over-excited about a weird craft project I am working on as a surprise for my boyfriend.
I am over-excited about my recent discovery of NO salt turkey at the Whole Foods deli meat department.

Well, I am excited about your podcast (I am catching up on the episodes right now.  LOVE. IT).  You are quite the pleasant and adept host, and I will hear no other evaluation of your podcast hosting abilities unless they are more glowing.
It is always great to have a weird art project going on for your significant other.
I had a lovely Turkey Reuben today from a local sandwich shop.  It is like we are less questioner and questionee and more connected on a higher level.

A little bit about the podcast for the uninitiated… Janet gets amazing female guests on her podcast and asks them wonderfully inciteful questions that tend to focus on the guest’s identity and progression of identity through adolescence and into their adulthood.  It is great. You have already had on some insanely great guests for your podcast, Question 16: Who is your unattainable guest?  Who is the person you would put a basketful of kittens in the rain to have as a guest?

Number one wish is Emma Thompson.

I would absolutely love to hear you chat with Emma Thompson.  You are a delight, she is a delight.  It would be like a delight squared, and who doesn’t like the square of delights.

Question 17: In all the conversations you have had for the podcast, have you found any common threads that seem consistent from conversation to conversation?

If I may just be obnoxiously humble-braggy about the concept of the podcast, I think one of the most consistent things that happens is that guests are surprised to discover what memories come up for them and how much they enjoy turning their thoughts back to that time.

Throughout all of my myriad of 20 Questions I have found that the people I talk to are very gracious with their time.  It is amazing how complete strangers will give so much time for something that is so truly insignificant.  I have a readership of, at most, 450 people a week.  For example, you have given me slivers of your time, in between doing your podcast, voice acting on Korra, promoting and acting for Burning Love, stuff for SF Sketchfest, etc, etc, etc… I am always amazed by the graciousness of the people I ask these questions.  I love answering my random 20 Questions, like the one that is being posted on July 31st about our new house, or the one I did a few months back on Birthdays, but I am always in awe of people giving me their time.  So, preemptively, thank you very much for all the time you have given me

Turnabout is fair play, so, It is time to turn the tables now.  Question 18: Other than what I do for a living, what question/s do you have for me?

Are you watching the Olympics? Why do people not care about women’s sports except the Olympics? What’s one of your favorite books?

Q1: I am watching the Olympics as much as I can… stupid job getting in the way of Olympic watching.  That is a tricky question, and I think it has to go back to how unbalanced our society is.  There is a societal pressure that tries to keep women down.  There is a consistent pressure for women to look and act a certain way.  I think society is not ready to see women in any other light than as supermodels.  Supermodels are the perceived physical ideal.  Their measurements are unattainable and their photos are rarely un-shopped.  When people see female athletes, who are at the peak of physical conditioning, and notice that they all have different body types and that peak physical conditioning does not actually mean the supermodel look… it makes that goal even more unrealistic for women. My wife and I were watching last night and were commenting on the different body types associated with the different sports, and how none of those body types were what is being idolized on magazines and TV/movies. I hope that I am getting my point across and not just being rambly. I am a soccer guy and I love watching women’s soccer, but I think that I am in a minority.

Q2: Hmmm… The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss comes to mind immediately.  It is the first book in a trilogy (the 2nd one is out and the 3rd has yet to be published).  Rothfuss is a wizard with language.  You taste his words as he weaves a picture.  They roll around in your mouth giving you glimpses into a different world.  Another book that I love is Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell.  That is just a delectable book about Jesuits making a mission to an alien world and the hijinks that ensue.  By hijinks I mean first contact and cultures clashing.  Simply amazing.

Question 19:  What are leaving with from this 20 questions that you did not bring with you?

Well, I think we both know I’m overwhelmed at the realization that there is pecan cobbler.

Pecan Cobbler is an overwhelming thing.  Just remember everything that can be made into a pie can be made into a cobbler of some kind…. all you need is enough butter and sugar.

Okay, the final question…Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.  Be as realistic or philosophical as you want to be as well. 

Right now I’m working at HuffPost Live getting ready to launch on August 13. It’s an amazing team of people… what’s “next” for me is to endeavor to become as smart as they are. Me like be smartt.

Smartt goods.

Thanks so much for doing this.  My 20 questions have been getting overly male and getting some strong female energy into the blog is always a welcome difference. You are a talent to be reckoned with and everyone should consume every bit of media and entertainment you create because you are simply amazing.  I am eternally grateful for the amount of time you have taken to do these 20 questions and if you were able to enjoy this half as much as I did, you should have had a good time.

Please everyone give Janet a follow on the twitters, listen to her podcast, watch her on Burning Love, listen to her act on The legend of Korra, watch her field questions on her live Huffington Post Live gig.  She is an amazing talent and a wonderful person.  I feel better just having had this chat with her.

To recap:
So many boxes in the house…. so many boxes
The select button on my phone is dying
So is our fridge
And the airconditioner
We are using a painter for the rest of the rooms that need the paints
The kids’ rooms are painted
Q’s dresser and bed are painted
The basement is getting painted
The downstairs will be painted next
Moving into a new house is hard
Janet Varney is just plain awesome
Leave off “awesome” in that last sentence and it is a put-down
Not like an animal “put-down”
I need to set up my home PC
There are some Never Not Funny’s that I am behind on
Have a great weekend everyone

Donate if you wanna…. way down on the left… I would love to buy a pizza

20 Questions Tuesday: 211 a: In the HOUSE, part 2

So, I got tons of questions concerning the topic of New House,l and felt that I should not short shrift anyone who sent in questions, because most every questions was amazing… some were repeats, but all were good.  Anyway… thanks for the supplemental questions DR JHP, Grapes, and AllRileyedUp, and Some Other Guy to round it out.

1.  Do you still have any unpacked boxes from your previous house?
Nope.  we were in the last house 11 years, and got everything out… git rid of a bunch of stuff too.

2.  Will you be repainting any rooms (ditching 70’s wall paper, etc)?
Eventually we will be repainting all the rooms.  The previous owner felt that khaki was a very light color.

3.  Mancave or not?
Studio instead of mancave.  I will have my drawing table up, computer next to that, and all my supplies at the ready… it is very liberating.

4.  Anything to adorn the lawn? Pink flamingos, gnomes, Yetti?
Low hanging power lines don’t count, do they?

5.  Is the work commute now better/worse/same/don’t care it’s a new house!!
The commute is about 5-10 minutes worse for me, so in truth, I don’t care because it’s a new house!

6.  Everyone has deal-breakers when looking at houses. I had to have a flat yard (I’m not mowing the Alps or getting a goat) and there had to be sidewalks (I don’t want to live somewhere with culverts). Other than the usual mod cons, what were your deal-breakers.
1. Had to have an office area for my wife who works from home
2. Had to have a playroom for the kids (more for the kids’s stuff than for the kids)
3. Big enough bedrooms for everyone.  Previously, the third bedroom was markedly smaller than the other 2 bedrooms.
4. The floor-plan needed to be rather open.
5.  No galley kitchens
6.  Minimal amount of hallways

7.  When we looked at houses (over 30 I believe) we saw some screwed up stuff. People replacing all their doors with accordion style dividers and completely removing the kitchen from its logical spot in the home (they put it in the basement) were some of ours. What freak shows did you witness?
We saw about 15 or so.  The most impressive one was a home that was also being used as an aquarium fish nursery.  Clearly, the owners used the house also as their business, and their business was to sell fresh-water fish to pet stores. There was about 300 gallons of water (around six 50 gallon tanks) in the first floor and at least 800 gallons of water in the basement (sixty or so 10-20 gallon tanks and 400 gallons of filtration water in industrial sized rain barrels).  The place was really well run, but it was difficult to look past all the fish tanks and the MASSIVE water filtration system.  Everywhere you looked were fish.  I have been to aquarium stores with less fish in them.  I am not sure if the house was technically zoned for what was being done there.

8.  Even though it’s a “new” house, people always seem to come up with a list of needed renovations — what are yours?
The most major ones have to do with the basement.  Radon mitigation in the basement and new flooring. Every space in the house needs painting and a few areas need carpet removed.  Carpet has to go for the asthmatics in the house.

9.  Going to have a housewarming party?
Maybe, but not for a while.

10.  What are good housewarming presents?
When you have previously owned a house, good housewarming gifts are Lowe’s or Home Depot gift certificates.

11.  What are bad housewarming presents?
More kids.

12.  Do the kids each have their own bedroom?
The kids do have their own rooms, and they are super cool rooms… or they will be super cool rooms.

13. Are they aware of the total super awesomeness of the new house experience?
Not yet… but they will be.
14.  How much of a change is there between old house and new house?
Well, about 1000 square feet of livable space and a back yard to die for.  

15.  What will change “lifewise” for you at the new house?
No cable for one.  We went up a level of broadband internet and dropped our cable subscription.  No land line now as well.  It is cellphones all the time now.  We also will be eating out less and planning menus more.  Not having a grocery store at the end of the street will be a big change.

16.  Any rooms done yet?
Not a one.  Little Man’s needs to have decor put up, but it is the closest of any room at the moment.

17.  What are the main differences in the neighborhood?
This neighborhood seems quieter, but we really haven’t been here long enough to make serious comparisons.  The new street is a bit narrower, and the running is more difficult to avoid hills or major roads.

18.   Do you need to renovate any particular room/s?
The basement playroom needs some work.  With the asthmatics in the house, the carpet downstairs needs to be removed, and the room needs painting and new furniture to brighten it up.  

19.  How ya livin? What? How ya livin? What?
In Living Color

20.  If you have to focus on any one room to get it completely ready, what room would that be?
I am going to annoy you with my answer, because I am going to choose 2 rooms.  Little Man and Q’s rooms.  Little Man’s room needs to be dressed basically.  The over all painting is done, but we need to decorate the place.  He is nine and want the room to be blue with red accents… which is basically what all little boys’ rooms look like.  We are trying to figure out how to make it his.  Q’s room has drop cloths all over it right now, and the painting needs to be done.  1 more coat of the accent color and then finish up the base color, then the furniture…. so much to do.

To Recap:
Seriously overwhelmed by the amount of work necessary to be moved in
I need to run tonight
This week in the couch to 5k program the running really kicks into gear
I am not really looking forward to that
Trying to determine a good place for this running to take place
16 minutes running v 10 minutes walking (not counting the 5 minute wram up and 5 minute cool down)
Janet Varney’s 20 questions coming up on Tuesday
I have soooo much to do
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 211 - In the HOUSE

Yesterday we moved into the new house.  IT. IS. GREAT.  Five days living with the mother-in-law with the entire fam is enough.  She is great people, but seriously, we need our space… and now we have it in spades.

Therefore this week’s question will be about the new house.  So without further ado.  the 20 Questions.  Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Nadolny, Chris Ring, Brett Wood, and Steev.  Now the questions!

1.  What did you leave behind for the new owners of your old house to discover?
We forgot to get some toothpaste out of the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom.  Oh, and the toilet up there started running the day before we moved out.

2.  Did you assign bedrooms to the children, or let them pick their own?
Since Little Man still loves his slide bed, it means that his choices for bedrooms are curtailed.  Therefore we are picking for them… because of furniture constraints.

3.  What will you have as your first meal as a family in your new house?
The kids get back in town on Wednesday, so we will have marinated flank steak, rice, and broccoli.

4.  If you weren’t real people, but were instead characters in a Beverly Cleary story, what would you expect to discover hidden in your new house?
An immaculate tube of toothpaste… with just. one. dent.

5.  This one kind of harkens back to question 2; how much say do the kids have in decorating their own rooms? Do they get to pick wall colors, art, etc?
We are allowing them to select colors, then we create a few color schemes and let them choose from those.

6.  What is your favorite room in the new abode?
It will be a toss up between the kids’ playroom in the basement or the room I am making into my studio.

7. Have you met any neighbors yet?
I have briefly chatted with one neighbor.

8. How’s the yard landscaping? Big plans, happy as it is?
We are pretty happy how it is.  No frills, and easy maintenance.

9. Did you get the kids enrolled at school yet?
Yup.

10.  Was the “New House” built on an ancient Indian burial ground? … I hear that’s bad.
As far as I know, no.  It was built over the Upper Devonian Ohio Shale, so we do have a radon issue.

11.  Does it have that “New” house smell?
It smells all clean and stuff.  The cleaning crew did an amazing job.

12.  Why didn’t you just tie a gazillion balloons to your old house like in “Up”?
Cause that doesn’t work… especially if you have a basement.  As it turns out the basement is built like a bomb shelter with poured cement walls, floor and ceiling… not enough balloons.

13.  Doesn’t your witness relocation handler frown upon you telling us you moved?
My handler frowns about everything.  He is generally just a sad person.

14.  If you could take and bottle the energy and buzz you get when first moving into a new house like you are, what do you think you could reasonably sell the bottles of new home buzz for on today’s market in this somewhat down economy? And how many 12 ounce bottles do you think you could actually fill till you ran out?
Hmmm… 2 cases of 24 oz bottles at $1099.89 a case.  It is expensive because there are only 2 cases.

15.  Now that you are moving into your new home did it make you realize you have way too much stuff?
Not especially.  We were surprised to see how long it took to load up the moving trucks.

16.  Why did you move out of your old house? and are you going to miss it?
The house just wasn’t serving our purposes as a family anymore.  The third bedroom was too small, therefore our little girl did not have any space of her own.  On top of that, since the wife is working from home now, she needs an actual office with a door and stuff.  

17.  Traditionally, every house is said to have its domovoi. When you move into your new house do you get to name him?
I darn well better.  His name shall be Shecky… so it shall be written, so it shall be done.  Come along, Shecky.

18.  If you walked into your new home and a disembodied voice said, “Get out!”, would you leave or stay like most people in bad horror films?
I would sit down and have a conversation with the voice and find some common ground.  I am sure we can all find a commodious agreement between my fam and the disembodied voice.

19. Do you have a neighbor named Mr. Miyagi? You should check just in case the neighborhood kids give you a hard time.
Nope, as far as I know, no Mr Miyagi.  If there is a problem with neighborhood kids, I will have to take care of it myself in my own passive aggressive manner.

20.  Charles “Xavier” is the wheelchair bound mutant, teacher and leader of other mutants in the comic X-Men. The name Xavier derives from the Spanish surname which originates from the location name “Xavier” in Navarre, in northern Spain. The name derives from the Basque location name “Etcheberri” meaning “the new house.”. Does your new house have a Danger Room?
Yes.  It is super dangerous too.  You Should see it.  When you coming to Mid-Ohio Comic Con (google it your dam selves, I got to paint), Steev?  We have a guest bedroom now.

To recap:
In the new house
Boom!
I have more questions that I will get to as a supplemental 20 questions prolly on Thursday
Look forward to that
I have done nothing but paint kids’ rooms since getting the house
If anyone out there wants to lend a hand painting, that would be great
Next week, guess what?
20 Questions with Janet Varney
You read that right
A female person
It is pretty darn epic
Spoiler alert: she eschews cake and pie
I have more painting to get done now
More questions answered on Thursday
Enjoy your Wednesday

20 Questions Tuesday: 210 - Brian Brushwood

I have been getting asked and then eventually asking 20 Questions for a good long time now.  In fact this 20 Questions Tuesday is the 210th that I have done.  So far most of them have been me answering questions rather obtusely with the remaining 33 being 20 Question interviews from people in all walks of life.  I can honestly say, without any pretense, that this 20 Questions is the first one I have done with someone who is pushing the envelope on how we consume entertainment.  Brian Brushwood is an innovator in the Internet cultural landscape. He is the host of 4 popular podcasts. Three for two different podcasting/vidcasting networks (Scam School for Revision 3 and Framerate and NSFW on TWiT) and one that he kind of publishes independently with my previous interviewees, Andrew Mayne and Justin Robert Young called Weird Things.  I rarely get the opportunity to ask questions to someone that is honestly on the cusp of something that feels kind of revolutionary,and I will pride myself on asking this visionary of new media inane random questions.

As I stated, Brian is a podcast host… it seems like he is a bit more than a “podcaster” in my opinion.  He is host/co-host of 4 podcasts and a consistent contributor to a multitude of other podcasts… One would think that would take up all of his time, but one would be an idiotic fool to think that (seriously, One. Don’t bring that weak ass game into my house).  Brian is also an accomplished stage magician and can be found consistently touring the college markets with his trademark golden spikey hair and witty rapport.  So without any further ado…. 20 Questions Tuesday with Brian Brushwood.

I make maps for a living, but I look at maps and geography as a way to tell stories.  I was born at Tinker Air Force Base just outside of Oklahoma City. The fam moved to Maxwell AFB in Montgomery, Alabama when I was 3 (actually ON my third birthday, we celebrated my birthday at a rest area).  Soon after, we moved up to a suburb of Birmingham, Alabama where I lived until I went off to college at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio.  After graduating from KSU, I followed my fiancee down to Ohio State and we have made our lives in Columbus, Ohio ever since…. but enough about me.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born in Fountain Valley, CA, but moved several times while growing up:  Houston, TX, Denver, CO, and Stavanger, Norway.  I ended up in Austin for college, and I fell in love with the town.  I’ve lived here ever since (though obviously still see a lot of the country on tour).

My family hosted an exchange student from Kongsberg, Norway my senior year in High School.  I lost touch with her when she moved out of my house.  I wish I could get back in touch with her, not being able to is one of the few regrets I have from my life.  

So… Question 2: What was your family doing in Norge?

Dad worked in the Oil business, and Norway does a lot of offshore drilling.  I was 12, and it was easily one of the most important, best experiences of my life.  I was completely uprooted from home, right at the age when American consumerism gets its hooks into you.  Being taken out of the US to a world without TV, shopping malls, or McDonald’s was absolutely extraordinary for me.

So, let’s get into it.  All of my 14 loyal readers want to know… Question 3: Cake or pie? Whichever of these you choose.. what type is your favorite?

CAKE! (unless it’s peanut butter pie.  which is amazing.  Also:  my daughter has peanut allergies, so we make her sunbutter pie, which is made with sunbutter… which is a peanut butter -like substance made form sunflower seeds… yet amazingly better than peanutbutter.  So, I’ll choose “sunbutter pie”…  what was the question again?)

Ooooh we never thought of the sunbutter pie.  That would have been great.  Both my kids had severe food allergies when they were born.  I have actually traded a few tweets with the Invisible Wife about food allergy resources.  Little Man (my almost 9 year old) has grown out of all of his, but he was allergic to dairy, egg, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, and some vegetables.  He held onto the peanut and tree nut allergies until he turned 6-ish.  Q (my 4 year old little girl) was allergic to dairy, egg, soy, and tree nuts, but she has grown out of those yet developed an orange allergy.  Sunbutter is pretty darn tasty, but soy-nut butter sucks ass.  I have tons of recipes for multiple food allergy foods, if you want them.  Sunbutter pie does sound awesome.  Okay, I am on board, how are you going to get that pie to me in C-bus?  Also, I don’t think I have ever had anyone change their mind in mid-stream like this…

You were not always a professional magician, Question 4: Have you always been interested in the magics?

I’ve always been interested in being tricky, and once I got to college I thought that learning some magic would be a good way to spend my free time.  I figured no matter where I ended up in life, it would be good to know a few kickass tricks.  I never thought it would end up being my career, much less a successful one.

I asked you friend and colleague, Andrew Mayne the following question and I am curious as to your response as well….

Question 5:  If you could change the “stage magician” title, which title would you prefer? Magician, Illusionist, Wizard, Charlatan, Sorcerer, Hood-winker, Eldritch Mage, Diabolist, or another of your choice…  Would you choose a different title for other magicians you know? BeeTeeDubs, Andrew Mayne chose “wizard.”  

Definitely Charlatan.  Maybe snake-oil salesman.  Fraud?  Liar?  Those seem appropriate, too…

Charlatan is a completely under-used word.  You should try to add it into your online persona when you talk about the magics.

Question 6: As a magician, excuse me, charlatan, yourself, what type/genre of magic do you enjoy watching most as a spectator? For example, I am completely fascinated by close work.

I’m always interested in performers who use magic to tell a bigger story.  Routines that are about life and death.  About love and loss… something bigger than “where’d that girl vanish to?”

That is interesting because I tend to like the close work because it is typically bite sized without an over-arching theme or story.  There is a local BBQ place,(yes, there is BBQ in Ohio… clearly not as good as what can be found in TX, at this place the pulled pork is good, the brisket is not) that used to hire a magician (Carroll Baker) every Sunday night to entertain the kiddos (whilst the old people eat).  I love watching him work.

Question 7: Let’s get all foodie here… What is the best BBQ in Austin (I have only been to Green Mesquite)?  And what is your particular favorite there? What type of sauce do you like? tell me all things Brian Brushwood and BBQ…  and… go.

I’m gonna piss off the locals here (as my pick originally comes from San Antonio), but I’ll say without reservation that the best BBQ in Austin is at Rudy’s.  The meat itself is great, but it’s their original Sause (spelled that way) that takes their work over the top.  It’s amazing.

I knew I should not have asked this question…. and then I knew I should not have looked at Rudy’s “Country Store” BBQ’s website… I am lucky that in my little burrow of Clintonville has the best BBQ in town in the shape of a food truck, Ray Ray’s Hog Pit.  Yes, I realize that the Columbus food truck scene is severely lacking compared to what y’all have in Austin, but Ray Ray’s Hog Pit is pretty darn awesome.

So, to steer this away from food, of which I need some, let’s talk more about the Internet and the nature of memes, so get your sociologist hat on… With the BBLive show and its current incarnation the NSFW Show, memes and viral videos are a staple of your program. Question 8: Why do you think memes and virals burn so hot and so fast and then are gone? Why don’t they have staying power especially since we, the Internet viewing people find them so enjoyable?

I think just about every facet of real life is mirrored by the internet in some way.  We have analogues for travel, adventure, exploration, workspaces, financial districts…  I think memes are an analog to family jokes or momentary whimsies.  They’re very beloved for the two hours that they’re funny, and then they’re dropped.  But because it happens on the internet, everything takes longer… so it takes 2 weeks to get over it.

Interesting.  What I have found about the memes is that unlike family jokes, most memes you cannot return to.  With family jokes, I have found that I can bring them back up and re-live some of the whimsy… Keyboard Cat is hack now.

So, I subscribe to my Mother-in-Law’s philosophy of “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Question 9: Do you have a saying, adage, credo, motto, etc… that you particularly ascribe?  If so, where did it come from and why does it resonate?

"There’s a million very good reasons why you should wait just a little bit longer before you start your next venture… Ignore all of them.
Don’t wait to get started. Don’t wait to pick up the phone. Don’t wait to start writing new material. Say “Yes” and “Immediately” often.
You’re going to find eight million excuses on why you should wait. Wait for them to call you back. Wait until you buy better props. Wait until you can hire a professional photographer. Wait until your new routine is ready. Wait until know-nothing doofuses who happen to have started their careers before you write you back with sage words of wisdom (that’s me I’m talking about).

Don’t. Wait.

The only thing separating you from having your best show possible is 10,000 hours of live performances. And while that sounds like an unfair, daunting amount of time and effort to put into becoming great, here’s the twist: the time is going to pass anyway. You can either spend it working towards your goal, or waiting.
Whatever’s wrong with your show, it’s nothing that a thousand performances won’t fix. So get out there now and start performing.

I am always impressed by the level of effort and motivation that it takes for people to become independently successful.  That amount of effort seems like levels of self-motivation that I feel like I lack.

So, let’s go a bit deeper for a second on motivational questions.  I used to think that my driving question was “How can I get my professional life more in line with my personal life?”  This does not seem to resonate with me right now.  I think the question I am dealing with right now is “What activity is it that I cannot help but get involved in?”  Kind of a question of what it is that, if it is available, I simply must participate.  I used t think it was fantasy mapping, but I am very disinterested in mapping of all sizes, shapes, and forms right now.  So, Question 10:  What is the question that drives you?  What is the over-arching question you are trying to answer with all of your thoughts, actions, and intentions?

"Where do I belong?"

stated differently:  ”Where do my natural talents make the most sense, give me the most visibility, and allow me to touch the lives of the maximum number of other people?”

THAT is why I do this.  Answers like this are what I live for on this blog.  Digging this answer the most.  I might need to appropriate parts of your question for myself.  It is like you have thought about this before.

So, you are a part of multiple podcasts and you guest on many more.  Question 11:  Do you regularly listen to any specific podcasts (other than your own), and, if so, which ones and why?

Hardcore History, Dan Carlin’s Common Sense, 99% Invisible, Freakonomics Radio, Skeptoid, Smodcast, Stuff to Blow your Mind, Radiolab, Penn’s Sunday School, the PC Gamer podcast, and a few others (more sporadically).

I love Hardcore History, and I have tried out Skeptoid, Freakonomics Radio, and Smodcast before.  I discontinued all of those for various reasons.  

Okay, I know from listening into the Weird Things podcast and the selection of podcasts that you just mentioned that you would classify yourself as a skeptic.  One thing I have noticed about skeptics (enter sweeping generalization here) is that there is a little piece of them that is hopeful that something paranormal out there is, in fact, real.  They are just not swayed by the admittedly flimsy evidence that the unabashed believers tout as truth.  Question 12: supposing that my sweeping generalization is true, what in the whole gamut of the paranormal do you most hope to be true (personally, I am holding out hope for sasquatches)?

Excitingly enough: it seems like we’re drawing in ever-closer to real, technological telepathy.  With transcranial electromagnetic stimulation, we can induce emotions strange feelings.  With fMRI’s, we’re getting closer to reading thoughts as they’re formed.  And of course, we’re all hoping for ever-more immersive, realistic simulations… eventually stimulating the brain directly.  THAT’s some exciting fringe science, right there.

It does seem that we are on the cusp of some very interesting technological times.  

I understand that you, most likely, do not have any superstitions, but this is unlucky Question 13: Do you, instead, have any rituals you adhere to do you can get in the correct frame of mind for some activity? For example, when I played soccer in high school, I had a very specific sequence for putting on socks, shin guards, and cleats.  Similarly, when I fenced in college, I had a specific method for attaching wires, putting on equipment, etc… Or do you have any superstitions?

Oh, man— being a skeptic has done nothing to stop my stupid, animal brain from insisting on the strangest rituals.  If I step on a crack, I feel the strangest urge to step on every crack.  I hold my breath for arbitrary lengths of time, vaguely certain it will affect the outcome of random events.  Before every stage show, I mentally recite the set list as if it’s some kind of litany.

I haven’t found an analog to the soccer and fencing prep in my current life. I think that kind of mindfulness and deliberateness is missing in my life right now, and may be one of the issue impeding me from focus.

Question 14: Fill in the blanks.  A: I find that I am mostly __________.  B: Other people feel that I am mostly ____________.  C: Do these answers differ greatly?  If so, why?

A: AN IDIOT
B: OBSESSED WITH REMINDING THEM I’M AN IDIOT
C: Here’s the thing:  the universe is infinitely complex.  Human emotions and thought are infinitely complex.  The best I can hope to do during my entire life is keep learning as much as I can, as fast as I can.  Part of that means bringing as many people up to speed with the crap I’ve learned as fast as I’m able.  And the only way that’s possible, is if you take a student’s mentality to learning.  Spend your whole life thinking of yourself as an empty vessel yearning to be filled.

You are quite the philosophical soul.

Since we started these 20 questions you have had your second digital book published and put on the market.  Question 15: Any surprising lessons learned from your book experiences?

Yes.  When releasing book 2, don’t drop book 1 to 99 cents.  It creates a perverse incentive for people to buy book 1 instead of book 2.

I was curious about that tactic… I imagined that it would either boost combined sales or completely cannibalize your new book sales.

Since you are firmly ensconced in the “new media” model area, and Framerate is a show primarily about the new medias and such, plus you have just published 2 successful interactive e-books… Question 16: How do you see the media market changing in the next 3 years… I ask because we are about to move to a new house and will be cutting the chord when we get into the new digs, and I find this to be a rather interesting topic.

Media will increasingly be judged on its own merit, rather than on the platform it inhabits.

How very egalitarian of you… the cynic in me really wants to giggle at you for your rose colored glasses, but there is a larger part of me that is hopeful as well that the cream will, in fact, rise to the top.

So, Question 17: What song is going through your head right now.  So you don’t feel self conscious about what comes to mind… I am thinking about Divine Hammer by The Breeders…. and go!

I was thinking that it was a bad idea to take an hour long nap this afternoon, because now I’m probably going to be up until 3am.  That’s not bad in and of itself, but it throws me wildly off-schedule from the rest of the family.  At least I don’t need to get up to go to an office.  While it’s terrifying to swing from gig to gig, never knowing how much money I’ll make month to month, it’s comforting to know that I don’t need to show up every single day to a job that eats my soul.  In fact, it was when I realized that I was excited for bathroom breaks that I realized there might be more to life than a job with a steady paycheck.  Man, those were weird days.  Working in a cubicle, dealing with a phone queue…  I remember staying around after work to play Robotron on MAME against my boss.  We used to joke about us hosting the “robotron world championships,” and when he won, I surprised him at the next team meeting by presenting him with an engraved plaque proclaiming him “Robotron World Champion 2000.”  I was really surprised by how excited he was about the award, and that’s when I realized that dollar-for-dollar, you can’t bring more joy to someone than by presenting them with a trophy or award.  I even used it to get to the top of the list for Fear Factor years ago.  Along with my VHS video tape, I sent them a laser-engraved plaque congratulating them on their smart moves and declaring them official “Damn Geniuses” for considering me for the spot.  It didn’t end up getting me on the show, but that same kind of thinking did get me on the tonight show.  Back when nobody knew who I was, I bought 30 tubs of atomic fireballs and put my demo tape in each one.  On the side I wrote “think these are hot?  Try eating FIRE!” and then I sent them to 30 TV shows that I thought might have a place for me.  Those were crazy times.  We had no idea whether I was even making the right move, quitting my day job to do magic.  Hell, it still sounds like a crazy idea to me, and I’m 13 years into this experience.  But it’s crazy, now.  I’ve got kids.  Obligations.  The stakes are higher, but so are the payoffs.  There’s nothing so awesome as getting to survive doing something you love.  I worry about what would happen if I totally fail, but then I just realize “if everything goes to shit, I’ll just make a living doing something else I love.”  And then I don’t feel so bad.

So, you were thinking about the song Mr Roboto by Styx.  That’s easy enough to understand, it is quite a fun song…  So many people get mad at me when I ask if there is a question I should have asked.  I get so many notes about how I am supposed to come up with the questions, and here I am feeling vindicated, because you clearly had a question in mind that I did not ask.

It is time for the tables to be turned… so Question 18: Other than “what do you do?” what question do you have for me?

"No, seriously:  Where are my pants?”

They are in a safe place… You will get to see them again, Mr Brushwood, once we have gotten to Question 20.

Question 19: So, what are you taking away from these 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

An appreciation for Scott Ryan-Hart’s tenacity.  It’s not easy to get me to focus long-term on anything that doesn’t immediately make me rich. :-)

I will take the kudos on the tenacity… I have not been this tenacious with some other folk, but I was seriously interested in your answers because you seem to be more thoughtful, and I tend to enjoy your “voice,” be it written or spoken.

So, the final sad question that signifies the end of a 20 Questions era, the completion of the Epic Brushwood 20 Questions of 2012.  Now that you will no longer be hounded by me for answers to intrusive questions, Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or vague or as philosophical or grounded as you want

I honestly have absolutely no idea.  I know there’s a few things I really love:  performing on stage, working in front of a camera, writing books, interacting with fans…  but I seriously haven’t the slightest idea which one is going to take off.  

And the weirdest part?  What I do next is not really even up to me.  I’m just going to keep doing my goofy dance for the world, chasing rainbows and laughing… and somewhere, someone is going to think that I’m a natural fit for their vision.  Could be a TV show, could be another internet series, could be a new stage show tour…  but whatever it is, I just hope that I’m as passionate as I’ve been about everything else I’ve done up to now.

Knowing you as much as I do, now, (We are BFF’s now BTW)  I don’t see passion as being an issue for you, and I am certain that you will create success for yourself and the people around you.

This has been an absolute pleasure, and I want to thank you for taking the incredible amount of time necessary to complete these here 20 Questions.

Check out Brian’s work with his website, his podcasts (Scam School, NSFW show, Framerate, and Weird Things), follow him on twitter @shwood, and see him live if he comes to town, and buy his books… Scam School and Scam School 2!

To recap:
We are moving out of our beloved home today
We will miss this house terribly
It is a great house and I hope that the new owners enjoy it as much as we did
It was the house that we brought both our babies home to
It was an amazing house
We are now in limbo until the 30th
We do not take possession of the new house until then
But today I am sad at the end of this era of my life
Then again, after packing up all the shit from the house it is time to say goodbye
I think the house is done with us anyway
It needs a young couple who will take care of it like they have free time and no kids
I think they are planning to have some chickens in the backyard though
Suck it crappy ex-neighbors
On another note, the boy turns 9 tomorrow
Leave a happy birthday message here and I will tell him about it
Next week, we will be in the new house
It will be awesome
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 209 - Cuddlah Army

This is going to be an interesting 20 Questions because it is 20 questions with someone who wants to be relatively anonymous.  This person, in many ways is one of the voices for a throng of people who are fans of the comedy podcast Walking the Room. I had the occasion to interview both Greg and Dave a while ago, but this time I am interviewing someone who is a fan, someone who has joined into a disparate community of people with oddly similar senses of humor.  The sense of humor is truly the only tie that binds this group of people, and yet… in many cases, it is a very tight community.  Walking the Room’s fans have taken to calling themselves Cuddlahs, as a direct joke against the Juggalos who are fans of the insipid lyricists, the Insane Clown Posse (“Fucking Magnets, How do they work?”)... jackasses…. talentless hack jackasses

So, this week we are talking to Cuddlah Army from the Twitters… Cuddlah Army is kind of a marshal for all things Walking the Room.  This person is a critical node in the loose network of Cuddlahs.  So without further ado…. Cuddlah Army

So, if you have read any of my interviews, you know that I typically start out with the geographic story… I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, Moved up to Birmingham, Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio, did my grad school in Columbus, Ohio and settled down there with my wife.  Question 1: What is your geographic story? Be as vague or as precise as you want…

I mostly grew up in small towns in Oklahoma, though I did live in Anchorage, Alaska for a few years when I was very young.  I went to college in Weatherford, Oklahoma, where I met my husband.  10 years ago we moved to a small town near Charlottesville, Virginia. We love it here and consider the Shenandoah Valley our home.

There is oddly a similarity between Oklahoma and Virginia… and there is always a similarity between small towns and other small towns.

Question 2: What do you think is the biggest difference between small town Oklahoma and small town Virginia?

The obvious difference here is the scenery and the weather.  In Oklahoma, the trees are short and squatty, the wind blows constantly, and there really isn’t much in the way of natural beauty.  They have been in a drought situation for a really long time and they tend to have more fires than they did when I was a kid.  The summers are miseable, with temperatures hanging in the hundreds for weeks on end.  It’s sort of like standing in the barrel of a hair dryer.  In Virginia, we have the mountains, the weather is more temperate, and it rains.  As far as small town politics, those are very similar. Unfortunately, I see more racism here, since Virginia is really considered “The South”. Luckily, we live near a college town, so we know liberals more so than we did in Oklahoma.

The rampant overt racism I found in The South is definitely one of the reasons I do not go back there.  Even though my parents still live in Birmingham.  The place is just not safe for me and my family, and I imagine that has not changed in the past 7 years (the last time I went down there).  So, come on South, get with the times.

So, quick question about the Twitter identity…. Question 3: Why Cuddlaharmy?  You, personally, are an individual, why not CuddlahGeneral or GeneralCuddlah?

It was never meant to be about me personally.  I see the Cuddlah Army as a collective… Anyone could run it, and maybe someone else will some day.  It all started because Sean Maclean (AKA Space Ghost) and I had an idea to do a Twitter bomb to celebrate Greg Behrendt’s birthday.  We had a huge response (for it being organized at 2 a.m. the day of the event), that we tried it again for Dave Anthony’s birthday and had so much participation that we registered on TrendsMap.  The whole thing sort of overwhelmed my personal Twitter account, so I created the Cuddlah Army Account.  I’ve been supported by other Cuddlahs along the way, including Mark Klein, who does most of the art, Ronnie Schiller Johnson who helps me think of hashtags, Sean who helps with strategy, and William Bowen, who made the watercolor skull with the clown nose.

It really is amazing how this particular community arose.  So, on a personal side, Question 4: What is it about Walking the Room and specifically Greg and Dave that has hooked you into this community?

I was looking for a podcast that would sort of distract me from my work, which bores me to tears.  I heard about the podcast through Patton Oswalt on Twitter, and decided to give it a listen.  I felt like I was at home from the very first episode.  I grew up with a bunch of brothers and male cousins, and they carry on in much the same way as Greg and Dave.  It gave me a way to hang out with my family once a week without having to deal with family politics.  I think the community has a shared sense of humor that sort of makes it easier for us to deal with one another.  Once you understand a person’s vibe, you can get to know them easier.  I have been able to make friends all across the US, and in Canada, Australia, England, and even Switzerland through this podcast community.  It sort of blows my mind.  Now that I’ve been able to attend a Starfish Circus, I have been fortunate enough to meet Greg and Dave.  They’re just the nicest guys.  I’m eternally grateful to them for putting this group of broken geniuses together. They were brilliant in that they created an identity for their fans, then gave them an outlet for their creativity and sadness.

I guess it is time for me to share my story of Walking the Room.  Greg Behrendt has always been a comedic idol of mine.  Well, not technically always, but after I saw him for the first time on the TVs, I was hooked into his particular brand of humor.  His bit about the abstract art and how it infuriated him until he realized it was about the frame so he punched someone (I could write the bit out from memory, but that would take too much time) is a bit that resides in my head all. the. time.  It is a bit of humor that gets me through the day.  Greg was on Never Not Funny and mentioned he was starting a podcast of his own and I was there.  Dave… I did not really know much about Dave, but I swear we could be close to the same person, if I were just a tad bit more bitter (okay, waaaaaay more bitter).  Like you said, Walking the Room was like “coming home” to a place I hadn’t lived before.

So I digitize and inventory holes in the ground for the transportation system in Ohio… Question 5: What is your dull, tear inducing vocation?

I audit physician coding, billing and documentation.  That’s a fancy way of saying I read medical records all day long and figure out what the physician should have billed, and how he/she could improve his/her notes.

Wow… Question 6: So what other podcasts do you listen to so that you can attempt to retain your sanity?

That list is ever-growing, mostly because I try to listen to podcasts by Cuddlahs whenever I can.  On the more well-known side, I listen to WTF, Superego, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, The Tobolowsky Files, The Moth, Science Friday, and This American Life.  Independent Cuddlah podcasts include Tales From the Attic (I was recently a guest), Toggle the Switch (I will be a guest in the coming weeks), and Going Postal.  I’m planning to listen to The Rigid Fist and The Midseason Replacements soon. [editor’s note:  Google these your damn selves]

I haven’t really jumped on any independent ones… Here is my list… TOFOP, Walking the Room, Never Not Funny, Nerdist, The Moth, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Sklarbro Country, The Dork Forest, You Made it Weird, The Pod F Thompkast, Big Pop Fun, Comedy Film Nerds, Smartest Man in the Universe, Doug Loves Movies, Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History,  NSFW Show, Tech News Today, Fourcast, Framerate,  Talkin Toons, The Shot, Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show, Weird Things, and Mysterious Universe.  I think that’s about it.  You know, not too many.  Listening to Kevin Pollak Chat show right now, and waiting for the mapping program to refresh. [editor’s note:  Google these your damn selves]

Curious minds want to know though…. Question 7: Cake or Pie? Which specific kind and why?

I generally don’t discriminate when it comes to dessert.  I like anything as long as it doesn’t have walnuts.  My favorite in the pie category would have to be something like a blueberry buckle or an apple crisp.  As for cakes, as long as it doesn’t taste factory-made I’m good.  I hate that frosting that comes in a plastic container in the store.  I’ll make my own buttercream, thank you very much.

Store bought frosting is an abomination… It should be dragged outside and beaten with a tire iron.

Question 8: So, other than podcasts, what do you do to pass your “free” time?  What does a CuddlahArmy do in an army downtime?

I have a husband and a seven year-old son who keep me pretty busy.  I love to cook, feed my friends, and walk my dog.  I’m the vice-president of my son’s school’s PTO, so right now I’m fundraising for next year.  I watch a fair amount of TV.

It is always a bit surprising when I find out that someone else who listens to Walking the Room has a family. It is surprising and somewhat uplifting.  It is nice to hear of someone who wallows in a broken sense of humor that also keeps up a “regular” lifestyle.

Question 9: So, Oklahoma and Alaska are not really known as a hotbed of comedy, where and how did you latch onto comedy?

I’ve always found that the best way to get through the trials of life is to laugh my way through it.  I once knew a wise elderly woman who said, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.”  I remember loving Bill Cosby as a kid, then later finding Saturday Night Live (Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, etc.)  The first R-rated movie I ever went to was “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”.  One of my brothers took me to see Eddie Murphy in “Raw”.  I think that’s what hooked me.

It is amazing how laughing will sometimes hold off weeping.  Simply amazing.  

So, I tend to cook more around the household because of how much I enjoy watching my kids eat something I prepared (seriously is there much better in parenting than knowing that you are sustaining your kids on a primary level?)  and I tend to rely heavily recipe books from books done by “The Editors of Cooks Illustrated.”  Question 10: For your cooking, do you rely on recipes, if so, do you use family recipes or do you rely on books/the internet and such… or do you just wing it and throw some stuff together?

I don’t usually use recipes, and when I do I tend to combine two or three recipes together.  I do follow the Cooks Illustrated stuff to the T however, at least the first time.  I’m not very creative outside of the kitchen, so food tends to be my canvas, so to speak.

Food is a wonderful milieu within which to work, and if one is truly gifted in that space, one’s family is super happy about that.

Question 11: Can you bake?  Baking and cooking are significantly different skills.
Unfortunately, I am not a baker.  I hope to rectify that one day.

I cannot bake to save my life.  I have trouble even with the just add eggs and oil baking.

Luckily though, where food is concerned: where I am weak, my wife is strong…

This next question is not judgmental, or at least it is not intended to be judgemental, because in many ways the questions is very much one I ask myself everyday when I am getting ready to go to my unfulfilling work… Question 12: It sounds to me like the medical records billing auditing job you do is not necessarily what you would love to be doing.  What do you want to be doing?

That’s a great question.  I have no idea.  I’ve found that I’m good at organizing people, changing processes, and doing big picture type things.  I also hate politics and prefer to be the one in charge.  I do this now because I can do it from home and it gives me more time to be home with my son and available to help out at school, etc.  Someday I’ll need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I have this fantasy that one day I’ll win the lottery and open a cooking school for kids.  Stay tuned.

It really is tough trying to determine what an appropriate career can be.  When you throw in the demands of a family on top of wanting your vocation to be fulfilling the difficulty of finding a worthwhile pursuit becomes even that much greater.

Ah, but is unlucky Question 13: Do you ascribe to any particular superstitions or have any specific rituals?

Not really.  I’m a lot more scientific than that.  I once took the Meyers-Briggs test and I was so far over on the “thinking” side of things my employees called me “Spock”.  I am a big believer in karma, however.

I don’t have many rituals anymore.  Basically I have a couple of mental calming rituals, but that is about all that is left of my superstitions and rituals.

I have been interested in this question for you in particular because in many ways you are more of a personality that is unassociated with a person and not recognized exactly as a person. Question 14: Fill in the blanks: “I find that I am mostly _________.”  ”Other people find that I am __________.”

Okay, I asked a dear friend of mine who has known be since 1986.  Here was her answer, and I agree completely:

Some people think I’m a control freak/ I think I’m conscientious.
Some people think I’m self-sufficient/ I think I’m self-sufficient because I surround myself with the right people.

Brilliant answers… I like the similarity of the answers which creates a sense of consistency and the discrepancy that indicates your individuality.  Digging it.  Digging it something fierce.

So I have adopted my Mother-in-law’s age-old adage of “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Question 15: Do you have any family sayings, mottos, credos?  If so, where did it originate?

My husband’s grandmother always said, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.”  We spend a lot of time laughing whenever life gets hard to make it more tolerable.

Well I hope you are capable of laughing when things are good too.  It would be sad if you could only laugh when times were hard… and you laugh all the time.

Here we are at Sweet 16.  Question 16: As an avid consumer of online entertainment, how do you see the online content changing the overall landscape of the comedy “scene?”

Hmmm… well, I’m no expert, but I think we’ve all noticed some changes.  Comedians are developing a fan base through podcasts and social networking.  This is great because they can find people who truly “get” them, much like Greg Behrendt and Dave Anthony are doing.  I think the approach Louis C.K. is taking is exciting.  I’m not sure if that model would work for just anyone, but he has definitely hit upon something.  I think we as fans are getting a lot of “free” content in the form of podcasts and tweets.  It will be interesting to see if they can make a living with live performances.  They have to find their fan base and then we as fans have to support them like crazy to make it work.

If anyone can find 2000 supporters willing to pay $40/year for their entertainment… one can make a pretty nice living (as long as you have NO overhead expenses).  I wish I could find 100 people willing to pay $20 a year for this crap I put out just so I can help out with the mortgage more (Donate at the bottom left!).  I know that if they could make it happen, I would be more than willing to make a micro-payment for ever episode of WTR, and then buy merch on top of that.  It will really be interesting to see how a Bo Burnham or some other rising comedic star makes this new landscape work.

Since I try to veer away from typical interview questions, there are often some “elephant in the living room” types of things out there or simply questions people wish I had asked, but did not know I should.  Therefore many people I ask questions hate this question, but here it goes… Question 17: Is there anything that you can think of that I should have asked you?

No… I mean, we made it clear that I’m female, right?  A lot of Cuddlahs assume I’m a guy for some reason.

The only clearer we could have made it would have been with pictures, but I ain’t running that kind of blog.

It is time to turn the tables a little bit, Question 18: Any questions you want to ask me?

How did you fare in the power outages?

We actually fared pretty well on the whole.  We lost power at about 5:30 pm on Friday the 29th and then our power was restored on Tuesday evening around 7 pm.  Luckily we got to miss the most vicious of the hot temperatures.  The issue was that for whatever reason our wireless router of 6 years went ka-put-ski. Most likely from age and nearly constant use, so we were unable to be a fully operational house until Thursday evening at about 9 pm.  Since then it has been blisteringly hot and our poor air conditioner has been getting a work out, but as of Saturday night when I am writing this answer, there are still a few people I know who are still without power.  It was really a nasty nasty wind storm.

Question 19:  What are you taking from this 20 Questions that you did not bring with you?

Ummm… that you are an incredibly patient man. [editor’s note: these 20 questions were answered over the course of 12 1/2 weeks]

You are very nice.  It is kind of like herding cats getting these things done.  Since they are email conversations, they can easily get dropped by the people I am questioning.  The people I ask questions have jobs, I have a job.  It is easy for these to be put on the back burner.  No worries.  When I start these I expect them to take a long time.

Question 20: So what is next for you? Be as clear or vague as you want and be as philosophical or concrete as you want.

What’s next… let’s see, I’m baking a chicken later today.  I don’t really have a lot of plans.  Cuddlah Army does what ever is needed, so that role will continue to evolve or devolve.  For me personally, I’m just really into watching my kid grow and change and become his own person. I want to be around him as much as possible so I can continue to enjoy that. As far as my career goes, I’m hoping someday I’ll have the guts to make a change, but that isn’t happening any time soon.  My family is my #1 priority. 

If we were Juggalos we would be chanting Fam-Muh-Lee right now, but we ain’t Juggalos.  We are Cuddlahs, and we are Army.

This was fun.  I am glad to have gotten a peek behind the curtain.

Please follow CuddlahArmy on the twitters.  and take a listen to her as a guest on the podcasts Tales from the Attic and Toggle the Switch.  Of course to get much more humor by listening to 2 guys expound upon why they aren’t popular, listen to Walking the Room.  It is one of the best podcasts out there because it just is.


To recap:
We are merely borrowing the house we are in right now
The buyers purchased it on Friday
We get kicked out on the 24th
We close on our new house this friday
We are not taking possession of that property until the afternoon of the 30th
We have a gap
And we will be uncomfortable during that gap
And probably stinky
I have a conference call this morning that is supposed to last for 2.5 hours
I will fight the urge to shoot myself and others
It will be a tough battle
But I will perservere
First thing Q said to her teacher upon entering her preschool today
“Crystal, Crystal, I went to Tucson and saw a Gila Monster”
Have a great weekend

20 Question Tuesday: 208 - Tom Merritt

This week I get the extreme honor of asking 20 Questions to the delightful Tom Merritt. Tom is one of the main personalities on the TWiT network.  He is the host of Tech News Today (TNT) and he is the cohost of the FSL Tonight podcast.  I watch him with Brian Brushwood on the show Framerate.  Due to TNT I now know waaaay more about Android Ice Cream Sandwich OS, the tech patent and Intellectual Property cold war, and the earnings reports for Research in Motion (Alas poor RIM we knew you well).  He is a voice of tech reason in a sea of tech crazy. I have been aware of the wonderful Mr Merritt since way back in the days of Tech TV.  The channel that I slavishly watched to the detriment of my wife’s TV viewing pleasure.  Put it this way, I watched Tech TV enough that my non-tech wife started enjoying The Screen Savers.  I still miss Tech TV, but not as much due to the tech podcasting juggernaut, TWiT. Until recently he was the co-host of Fourcast.  I listened to his dulcet voice when he was on the Frogpants show Current Geek and the TWiT show Current Geek Weekly (RIP)… wait… it seems that I know Tom  mainly from things that no longer exist.  He is also associated with a few more podcasts that I have not watched.  Anyway… on to the questions

So, I have to know. Question 1: Why are you associated with so much of my entertainment that no longer exists (Tech TV, Fourcast, Current Geek, Current Geek Weekly)?  Will you also take Tech News Today away from me? Oh God!  Don’t take TNT away from me….

A: I have no desire, plans, or inclination to stop doing Tech News Today. Sit … no.. really… please.. OK. That’s good. You forgot to mention Tom’s Top 5, The Real Deal, and Road Warrior.  I think when you have tried as many shows as I do, you’re obviously going to have some that reach the end of their life or just don’t end up doing well. That’s how we find the things that do work, by trying lots of things.

I know that is the case.  Fourcast had clearly run its course (which was a pretty long course) and Current Geek had been on for a good long time prior to the Morning Stream becoming a long form version of that show.  All of the podcasts’ deaths make sense in the long run.  Now onto the regularly scheduled programming.

I have my MA in geography specializing in cartography, so place and space are super interesting for me.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was 3, moved up to just Northeast of Birmingham, Alabama where I stayed until I went to college.  Went to school in Kent, Ohio and then moved down to Columbus, Ohio for my master’s program.  I have been living in Columbus ever since. Question 2:  What is your geographic story?

A: I was born in Greenville, IL, went to college in Urbana-Champaign, IL, had an internship in Washington DC and lived in Arlington, Virginia, moved back to Urbana for a summer, then went to grad school in Austin, Texas, stayed there for 6 years. I moved to San Francisco to take a job in 1999, moved across the bay to Oakland in 2006, then up to the north bay to San Rafael in 2010.

Question 3:  Of all those places which one is truly “home” in your heart?  For instance, I grew up in Center Point, Alabama and my parents still live there, but since my married life and kids are associated with Columbus, Ohio, this is where I consider “home.”

A: It depends on what you mean.  When I say I’m “going home” I mean my house in San Rafael with my wife and dogs.  When I say “I’m from” I mean Greenville. I spent the first 18 years of my life in Greenville, so it’s always going to be my hometown. But home is where the heart is, and that’s wherever I have my family and my desktop computer.

I will go with the wife, dogs, and desktop.  That is a perfect answer.

So I am now going to ask the question that everyone is waiting for with, quite possibly, bated breath… Question 4:  Cake or pie?  Which specific kind and why?

A: PIE OMG PIE. Specifically fruit pies, and more specifically cherry or secondarily some kind of berry. I also have soft spots in my heart for grape and rhubarb pie, which my Grandma always made. Apple pie is fine, but the most boring of all pies, in my opinion. Cake seems like eating bread to me.  I love fruit and pie just seems to have so much more flavour and less filler.

I have found that most people who answer with cake truly love frosting more than the spongy foam that is a frosting vehicle.  Here and now I suggest to them to frost a pie and tell me it is not made by celestial beings.  My mother used to decorate cakes as a side business.  I have had frosting on nearly every kind of confection.  Pie included. There is a place not far from here called “Just Pies” and well, they are known for their seasonal cherry pies.  I will check their baking schedule and see when you should visit Columbus.  I do not know if they ship….

Question 5: Umm… “flavour?” I seem to remember you waxing eloquent about your love of hockey, and now the “Queen’s ‘u.’”  Are you secretly Canadian?

A: Chocolate pie is kind of like frost pie I think. I am not secretly Canadian, I just grew up reading a lot of British literature and when I was younger and more pretentious figured that grey spelled with an ‘e’ and colour with a ‘u’ was arbitrary and I could do it however I wanted and since someday I would buy a time machine and live in 1920s London for a while I’d better start training for it. I love Ireland, Wales, New Zealand and large swaths of England and Scotland, especially the parts with pubs and whiskey distilleries.

For the record it would be fine if you were secretly Canadian.  I love the word “whilst,” and I try to pepper that into daily speech as much as possible.  “Whilst” and “Yard Gnome…” My two white whales of conversational vocabulary.

Question 6:  You host many a podcast, but which podcasts do you consume?  I listen to about 30 to 40 hours of podcasts a week. I clearly have a terribly exciting job that requires my constant attention.

A: Yeah, one thing about my job, I can’t really listen to podcasts while I do it. I subscribe to about 30 but there are three that I always listen to no matter what.  The Economist, This Week at NASA, and The Instance.

If you were listening to podcasts whilst podcasting, I imagine there would be some lovely gaffs. (notice the use of “whilst.”  Now to figure out an organic way of inserting “yard gnome.”)  I listened to 4 podcasts just today driving around the state getting GPS points for our most recent boring locations (actual location where we bore holes into the ground… which are boring as well) I listened to last night’s Tech News Today and the most recent Framerate.  I also listened to Aisha Tyler’s Girl on Guy and Pete Holmes’ You Made it Weird, but you have nothing to do with either of those, therefore they are immaterial. Disregard them.

Question 7: Considering your interviews with sci-fi/fantasy authors on your Sword and Laser podcast as well as the new Geek and Sundry YouTube channel show, have you been surprised by any responses from the big name authors with which you have chatted?

A: Whilst I haven’t had any shocking revelations about relations with yard gnomes, I have been surprised by the number of authors who used role-playing game experiences to develop their worlds.  I mean, I think EVERY author we talked to has used RPGs as some influence on their work. It’s kind of crazy.  I’m looking forward to having the founder of Rhaposy on the show, who has a scifi book out, but I think may not have played RPGs to develop his world. Watch me be wrong.

A good RPG system can really create a nice believable set of rules for a fantastical realm. I feel lucky to have been associated with a local RPG as one of their “resident artists.”  It is built off of D&D 3.5 and set in an alternate 1904-1915 where limited magic exists.  Now we just need to find someone willing to take authorship of the idea and make a best-selling book, then be interviewed by you and Veronica Belmont.  Simple plan, really.

So, by my inaccurate count, you have about 5 active podcasts that you work on (TNT, Framerate, Sword & Laser, Autopilot, FSL Tonight,) a few less active ones (Triangulation, East Meets West), and I am sure there are other ones I have missed (not counting your guest appearances on other podcasts).  Question 8: Ummm… do you have any “down time?” and if so, how do you enjoy spending it?

A: I actually just re-focused what I work on so I can spend more time making the things I do better. I was definitely spreading too thin. Hence the sad goodbye to FourCast and my leaving co-hosting duties on Triangulation. East meets West has always been a fun “when we can” thing with me and Roger so that’s actually part of the downtime, to be honest.

When I’m not working on shows, I watch TV, mostly SciFi. I play a few video games. Right now I’ve been playing Diablo III. I also dip in and out of World of Warcraft. I’m a big RTS fan, so I love Civilization and SimCity. I go running with my dog 3 or 4 times a week. Not a euphemisim. I literally go outside with one of my dogs and we go jogging. Well for him it;s, what the hell are we running without stopping for, and for me it’s jogging. And I write. I like making up stories. They’re not all that good necessarily but they entertain me. Basically I’ve cheated the world into letting me do what I love as my job, so it’s all sort of hobby work in the end.

We are in the process of moving to a bigger and better house, so I have to let my monthly subscription games go to the wayside.  No more SWTOR for me, but I am playing D 3… I have a young Barbarian named Dave and a Monk named BrotherBob… that is a delightful game.  I envy your finding an occupation that you love.  One day my occupation of choice will come…

Question 10:  How many NaNoWriMo’s have you done now? and how can people consume your writings?

A: I have at least attempted to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) each year since 2003. I’ve reached the 50,000 word goal three times.  Two of those are sitting on my hard drive waiting for me to edit them. Another one, UNited Moon Colonies is out there in the universe at http://unitedmooncolonies.squarespace.org/ and a book I wrote in the 1990s called “Boiling Point” has a little mini-site of its own at http://www.subbrilliant.com/boilingpoint .

I think I need to wait for the kids to get a bit older before I attempt NaNoWriMo again.  the one time that I got a full week into the writing process and was actually ahead word-count-wise, the oldest got sick and derailed my novel ambitions.  I will get my novel about the c/d-rate superhero done… oh yes I will.

Now we are onto the downward slope of the 20 Questions, and a slippery slope it is indeed.

As many of my readers know, I have completely and wholeheartedly adopted my Mother-in-Law’s saying of “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Question 11: Do you have any particularly meaningful sayings, adages, mottos, credos that you adhere to? If so, where did it/they come from?

A: Fear is the Mind Killer
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration
I will face my fear
I will permit it pass over me and through me
And when it has gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing
Only I will remain
- Litany Against Fear of the Bene Gesserit - “Dune”

“I’m a coffee achiever!”
- Kurt Vonnegut

You are the first person to ever quote Frank Herbert on the blog.  There should be some kind of prize for that… or maybe some spice….  I have always enjoyed the sentiment behind the “Fear is a Mind Killer” mantra, however I am a rather fear based person (thanks parents!). I come from a long line of fear based people… it is quite crippling really, and it is the main reason I keep myself from doing something for a living that I might actually enjoy.  There are many mantras about overcoming fears and facing them, etc… that are extremely difficult for me.  WTH, Merritt?  How did you get me to open up like that with some Dune-age?

Let’s bring it back to the lighter side before I go depressing it up more!

Question 12:  Think of a song… any song.  What is it? and be honest?  To help you with not being embarrassed by whatever song you are thinking of, my song that popped into my head is “Can You Picture That” by Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

A: The Red Flag by Billy Bragg is actually the very first thing that popped into my head.  I think I’m so busy right now that my brain wants to sing battle songs. And you were trying so hard to lighten it up.  I know.

It is like you are fighting me at every turn.  I kid.  I kid.  I was actually surprised when “Can You Picture That” popped into my head… I haven’t heard that song in at least a year.  Moving right along…

Ah… we are now to our unlucky 13.  So… Question 13: Do you have any superstitions to which you ascribe? or any rituals? an example of a personal ritual: Sitting in the lotus position and internally repeating the mantra “Fear is the mindkiller” prior to any and all knife fights.  It just gets you in the right frame of mind.

A: One ritual I subscribe to is avoiding knife fights. Or at least bring guns to them. I’m not very superstitious actually. I do ‘knock wood’ a lot, but I just sort of like the phrase. It makes me feel closer to the elves of the woodland realm or something. The thing is, I never do it when I’m alone, so it’s not a very strong ritual. Other than purely entertaining things like that I just try to imagine how I want things to go, and do as many things as fit into that way of the things happening. And adapt as I go, since nothing ever happens the way you expect. It’s sort of like looking at a block of wood and making a sculpture of a turtle by cutting away all the things that don’t look like a turtle. But then I’m always prepared for the sculpture to end up being a rabbit, and that’s fine too.

That is truth right there, “nothing ever happens the way you expect.”  Even if you do use positive visualization and try to imagine how you want things to go.  If positive visualization worked, I would be fabulously wealthy and own a vastly successful DRM-free publishing conglomerate. Instead I am cataloging holes in the ground for the state DOT.

Fill in the blanks Question 14: A: I find that I am mostly _________.  B: Others find that I am mostly _________. (feel free to ask others or use your own conjecture)

A: Blank1 - Anxious. Blank 2 - Not shutting up when I need to.

Question 15: Do you think that A leads to be in this case?  Does your anxiety lead to overtalking?

A: Quite the opposite. I’m carefully quiet when I’m angry or anxious or unsure in any way.  It’s only around people I’m comfortable with that I blabber on. Unless I’m drunk. My wife says the only thing that bothers her about when I come home drunk, is that I won’t shut up and she’s trying to finish that episode of Gray’s Anatomy.

Interesting.. That being said… (Backstory alert) I do not have much of an accent.  I spent a solid 15 years in ‘bama, but kept a Southern accent away… So when I get drunk I talk about theoretical set theory mathematics with a Southern drawl. I do tend to be a quiet angry as well… so if we were in the same room and were quiet… shit is about to get real, yo!

So, when you are broadcasting Question 16: what are your personal foibles that you have to keep in check that would be bad for the netcast/podcast/vidcast? (I curse like a drunken sailor with terrets and am constantly modifying my language to keep from constantly carpet bombing with f-bombs.)

A: I try not to curse as well. I don’t have a problem with cursing, but some people do and cursing is not essential to most of my shows. I’ve become better at not interrupting people. I get so excited about some topics and worry I’ll forget my point that I used to just blurt stuff out which can be darned rude. (see darned not…)

All people who do voice work have crutch words that they say too often and I try to stomp those out.  But as soon as you cure yourself of saying “basically” suddenly you find you’re saying “allll righht” all the time. It’s a constant battle.

Video brings its own set of issues, like when to address the camera vs. the co-hosts, not looking like you’re picking your nose. All that stuff. My hair haircuts have become infinitely better since I started doing video.

The constant camera exposure really makes one notice all the little barely visible imperfections… a mirror takes care of the gross imperfections that everyone else can see.

One thing I have always enjoyed in your tech reporting is that you tend to bring a bit of silliness and whimsy to the plate, whether it is from your sarcastic asides or from your droll use of puns.  We all know that hyperbole is the funniest form of humor ever, but Question 17: What is your favorite way of injecting humor into your reporting/podcasting?  Is there a way you wish you could add in the humors but just have not found the correct vehicle/moment to do so?

A: I sometimes think that my humor is a bad idea and I ought to stop, but I’m glad some, like you appreciate it.  At the same time maybe you shouldn’t encourage me on the puns. Frankly, it’s just me being me. One thing I try to do in all my ventures is be genuine. I think it’s one of the best things about the Internet. You don’t have to impress some mid-level management type to find an audience.  So I can be silly and punny, and if it doesn’t bother people, it works. I do hope it doesn’t get in the way of good info. In fact I hope it makes good info more enjoyable.

Oh, it’s that time in the 20 Questions again.  The time where the circle comes round and the tables are turned.  Question 18:  Is there any question you want to ask me?

A:…I mean… Q: Of the hundreds of millions of blogs, podcasts, twitter feeds, YouTube shows, etc., what’s the one nobody’s doing that you wish someone would? Also, the turtle is on its back in the desert, why aren’t you helping?!

Interesting question because I think there are podcasts and twitter feeds and YouTube shows for everything imaginable under the sun.  I know that if I were to do a search (editor’s note: I will not do the search, this is a hypothetical search parameter) on underwater basket weaving there is at least one podcast, one twitter feed, and at least 10 YouTube vids on underwater basket weaving.  The problem with the existence of these online “resources” is that most of these items are utter and complete shite.  The existence of the topic is not in question, the quality is.  That being said, and I know I will catch hell for this, but I have not found a comic book podcast that trips my trigger just yet.  The sound quality or the poor host talent tend to push me away.  Readers, if you know of a GOOD comic book podcast, leave its name in the comments… I have already tried about 7.  Can you make a comic book podcast, Tom?  you and Scott Johnson and Justin Robert Young?  You have 1 listener awaiting.

I am not in the desert, and therefore question the validity of the statement.  I do not believe there is a turtle on its back.  I cannot help that which I do not believe exists.

Ah, the penultimate question, these 20 question pass so quickly…. Question 19: What are you taking from this 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

A: They’re just questions, Leon. Designed to provoke an emotional response.

One thing I’ve found is that I tend to respond to a series of questions with Bladerunner references.

I also have found I like your questioning style, which is cool. And I learned that I get really philosophical about stuff if I don’t watch it.

I also found out you’re an android. SPOILER!

Isn’t the spoiler alert supposed to come prior to the spoiler.  Has Framerate taught you nothing?  So, you have seen through my Turing test conversation. I was almost a sentient robot, but you have seen through me, and now my sentience is in question… as it has been since 1974… and I am running iOS.

Question 20: So, what is new and next for you? Be as concrete or philosophical, be as precise or vague as you want.

A: I am trying to focus down on what projects I should be working on.  For a few years after leaving CNET I’ve been trying all kinds of things, and I don’t regret one of them.  But now I’m narrowing down.  Tech News Today and Sword and Laser are my main efforts. I want to concentrate on making those shows the best they can be.

Frame Rate with Brian Brushwood is a project I love and will keep doing.  We talk about tech and programming for cord cutters. I think it’s too early for this show to really take off but we’re perfecting it in advance of what I think will be a huge future audience.

And then there are fun projects like FSL Tonight, a podcast about fantasy and scifi characters playing in an imaginary and undefinied sports league.  Autopilot is a seasonal look at TV pilots. And I’m hoping to self-publish another novel or two, and maybe a book about tech history.

So yeah.  Really cutting down. Ha!

At least I’m doing stuff I love and having fun. Thanks for a really enjoyable conversation here man.  It’s been fun!

This was a blast.  Now that I have power again from the derecho of June 29… I have 42 podcasts to catch up on.  2 FSL’s, 6 Tech News Today’s, and 1 Framerate…. hours of Tom Merritty goodness.  

Everyone, if you don’t follow Tom on Twitter you should.  He is acedtect on the twitters and add him to your circles in Google+ at http://gplus.to/acedtect.  All of his stuff can be found though at his website tommerritt.com

To recap:
We have power
The wife and kids are in Tucson, AZ for the week
They left Monday morning
I miss them already
I am packing up the house this week
Cause we are getting kicked out on July 24th
I did have pizza for dinner Monday night
Grabbing dinner with a friend Tuesday night
Seriously, Tom was a delight
Everyone should have the pleasure of trading emails with him
I got 99 problems but empty boxes ain’t one
I need to go running cause I ain’t got no parenting duties this week
Look out world, heavy dude walk/running
We went through a ton of candles and dealt with the insane heat
Have a great weekend everyone… Yard Gnome

Edit!… wow We completely skipped Question 9… so without further ado

Question 9: Umm… how did I miss Question 9?

A: Seriously!  How did we both go through this and not realise you
went straight from 8 to 10.  Is it a conspiracy? A blind spot? A
symptom of heat stroke? The world may never know. I have decided to blame Google.

Google it is Tom!  Thanks for doing this to the nines!

20 Question Tuesday: 207 - Jason Masters

On the eve of the celebration of the US’s Independence Day, I am publishing something that has nothing to do with America, fuck yeah!

I have had the honor of dealing with people from many many continents in the shit-ton of 20 Questions Tuesday’s that I have been doing over the years.  Mainly I have gotten questions from the US and Canada, but I also have gotten some from people in Europe, Asia, other parts of North America, South America, and I even got a question years ago from someone in OZ (Australia for you non-slang peeps).  There are two continents that are conspicuously absent.  Antarctica and Africa…  This week, I get to remedy part of that… I have to opportunity to ask 20 Questions to Jason Masters, a comic book artist, graphic designer, illustrator extraordinaire from South Africa… Coordinating this email conversation will be interesting since our schedules are so wildly off.

Jason is another artist associated with Ten Ton Studios(…. what can I say, I find all of the people there interesting if not wonderful).  He is currently slated to do DC Digital… and his work is crazy clean with strong uses of spots.  The work he does is very precise and always on model.  Seriously, his work is sick and it makes me a little bit jealous.  I am very excited to see him doing work for DC Digital and cannot wait to see where that goes.  So without further ado…

I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, then to Birmingham, Alabama.  I went to college in Kent, Ohio and then settled down in Columbus, Ohio. Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

Wow your preamble makes me sound awesome and professional, more of the same please. Geographically I’m pretty boring, I moved house a lot as a kid but generally stayed within the same basic area. I was born in Discovery, Roodepoort in what was then known as the Transvaal. I believe we lived in Benoni for a little while, while I was an infant, then back to the Roodepoort area for most of my childhood, a brief stint in Randfontein, then back to Roodepoort. I now live in the Randburg area of Gauteng(which used to be Transvaal). One of the first major changes after our first democratic election in 1994 was a re-division of the country. We went from 4 provinces to 8. Transvaal was divided up into Gauteng, Mpumalanga, Northwest Province, and Limpopo Province. I didn’t so much move as the country changed around me.

Okay, Google maps don’t fail me now… So, pretty much you have been circling Jo’burg.  I have very little knowledge of things African.  So, just for my own cultural edification…  Question 2: What do you think I need to know from you about South Africa that may not be in Wikipedia or some other public site?

I contemplated going into a bit more detail about my geographic evolution but any reference I’d make would just make it more confusing if you’re not from here, but basically yes, circling Jo’burg my whole life. As for question 2, only 3 out of 10 zebras has poisonous spines, and yes they do poop diamonds.

so you have a 30% chance of being poisoned by Zebra spines… Gotcha, but they poop diamonds… it makes me wonder if it is a deadly poison or just a make you sick poison…. the poop diamonds might be worth it if it is only “make you sick” poison.

Question 3: Do you get the opportunity to travel much, if so, what is the furthest you have traveled?  In case you are curious (and I am sure you are)… Hamburg, Germany is the furthest I have gone.

No, unfortunately, I’ve travelled a bit, but not as much as I’d like. I’ve travelled to London, Mauritias, Greece, Dubai (only a day though), New York but the furthest, I think, from Johannesburg is Chicago. Great trip, I met some of the Ten Ton fellas, went to Wizard world Chicago and did a road trip around lake Michigan with a buddy of mine. One of the most fun travel experiences I ever had.

Also I’m what you’d call a zebra expert, so just trust me when I say the excruciating pain,  carbuncles and hair loss you get as a result of those poisonous barbs isn’t worth the risk.

I had no idea the zebra was such a dangerous foe… I know that the Hippo is an asshole, but I was unaware of the dangers of the striped equine… I don’t even want to know what threats a greater kudu poses…. because, you know, they are greater and all that…

There are literally 15 people out there who really want to know this… and honestly, of those 15, 5 really don’t care.  Question 4: Cake or pie?  Which genre and is there a particular kind that really trips your trigger?

I must answer your question with another question. Sweet or savory pie?

Hmmm… So the answer seems to be pie… so if the answer is pie, I am more than happy to learn about your favorite sweet pie as well as your favorite savory pie (or the purposes of this exercise, we will exclude pizza from the pie category).  However, if you answer is to be cake, why are you asking me this question?

‘cause it’s late and I’m tired? The answer is cake, savory pie is gross and while lemon meringue pie/rhubarb pie are both delicious nothing beats homemade chocolate cake.

Question 5: So, this chocolate cake, vanilla frosting, butter cream frosting, chocolate frosting, or some kind of crappy coconut thing that makes people hate and murder and kill and hate some more?  Gimme some details about this cake. People want to know!

Ha ha chocolate buttercream frosting I think. I need to ask my Mom, it’s a family recipe.

I have heard of this chocolate buttercream… super rich, but smooth and creamy. The richness of the buttercream is offset by the sharper flavor of dark chocolate. Milk chocolate would be too weak to pair with buttercream.  I know waaay too much about frosting.

Bullseye throwing a Semi Tractor Trailer at Matt Murdock (Daredevil)

So Question 6: When did you know that you could draw (and by that I mean when did you know that you were really good at it and found enjoyment in doing it)?

Sounds like you’ve already sampled my mother’s baking… Dad?

I remember deciding I wanted to be able to draw in Nursery school (preschool) and then just drawing I must have been 4 or 5. I think It was motivated by the teacher going on about someone else’s abilities and me thinking ‘I’ll show you, dammit!”

Sadly, I am not your father.  I just know a shit ton (shite-tonne?) about frosting… I love frosting in an unnatural way.  Don’t judge me.

So, you started drawing because someone else was told that they could draw?  I can think of many activities other kids could potentially do well that you should be very happy did not get praised by authority figures.  Here is the scenario, little Timmy from your preschool gets praised heaped upon him for his dancing ability, therefore the modern day Jason Master’s dances professionally for Ke$ha.  Another scenario, little Timmy is a complete ass and ends up getting praised ironically by the preschool teachers for getting tranq-ed out with some Benadryl to shut his assholish self up.  Little Jason Master’s sees this and realizes that praise comes from drugging yourself to unconsciousness…  I think you can see where this goes. Wow, those preschool teachers were horrible.  Why would they tranq a kid for being an ass?  Horrible people.

Question 7: Were you always soooo contrary and oppositionally defiant?

Ha ha all those scenarios could easily have happened and completely change they way my life turned out. In some cases maybe for the better.

My wife would say yes but I don’t think so. I like doing things sometimes because they’re difficult or because someone says I can’t. I like testing myself to see if I can do something. I do have to want to do it though. I’ve done a few white collar boxing fights recently purely to see if I could and because the idea of fighting in front of people terrified me. Every fibre of my being said no, so I had to do it.

I am confident that the reason my best friend who is dyslexic with authority figure issues became a JAG Lawyer for the Army is because of tons of people saying he couldn’t.  Hey, Maj McArmypants, I bet there is no way on earth you could possibly buy me a car for free.  Let’s see where that goes…

Question 8: Do you find yourself having an issue with comfort?  It seems like you have a need to constantly challenge yourself, is there something out there that you are trying to find though all these challenges and activities?

Good luck with the car sir, I’m sure that plan is bullet proof!

Oh no issues with comfort, I LOVE comfort! I’m just stubborn I think. It’s about finding my place in the world. How do I know where I belong unless I know what I can do?

So, the oppositionally defiant piece is completely about discovering your limits. Interesting.

Question 9: Have you found anything within you that is surprisingly unlimited or surprisingly limited?  For example, I have found that the range of motion on my right ankle is extremely limited.

That and keeping myself from getting bored. I’m certainly not a thrill seeker or adventurer, just bored easily.

Unfortunately not, physically I’m pretty average. I can touch my toes that’s about it. Limited, I broke my index finger on my right hand when I was in high school punching a friend of mine (joking around though, not a fight). As a result my I make a pretty awkward fist with that hand.

My brother was playing soccer in high school and a cleat broke the periosteum (the membrane covering the bone) on his left pinky finger, but it did not break the bone.  He started developing a pretty weird calcification on his finger, so he can never make a “true” fist with his left hand. And he always looks so proper when sipping now.

Question 10: Does the healed broken index finger cause any difficulty for your drawing… or is it the reason you draw so well?

Ha ha, that’s a pretty bizarre injury. The human body is an odd thing.
I wish it was that easy, I’d break all my fingers if it’d help my drawing! No it doesn’t hamper me in any way, I don’t even notice it unless I’m making a fist. I still maintain that if there was drawing steroids I’d take them in a heartbeat. Take steroids to get big muscles? Never! But to draw better? Heck yeah!

Speaking of drawing, and reigning in these questions to comics for a second. Captain America has always been my guy and then I drifted towards the X-men’s Cyclops.  Those were my guys as a kid.  Question 11: Who were your guys growing up? and who are your dreams to draw professionally today?

I’m afraid I’m pretty typical here. I loved Spider-man first then Batman and then G.I. Joe. Those are my top 3. I just recently completed a Batman one shot for DC Digital which should come out in a few months! I’m still amazed I got to do that. More than any character I’ve wanted to draw him. Now I want to draw him again and do it better. I have a long list of characters I still want to draw though. Spider-man, G.I. Joe, The Flash… oh jeez just name it I want to draw it

Really, GI Joe?  I would not have called that since it seems amazingly US-Centric in its existence.  Question 12: How was GI Joe packaged in South Africa… some of the main characters in the cartoon and the comic books were Roadblock, Stalker, Doc etc…?  How did integrated elite forces play out in 1980’s when Apartheid was still in effect?

Media didn’t get repackaged just because it featured African’s or African Americans. Television here wasn’t very white centric. We got cartoons and show’s as they were featured stateside, unless we got the same media from the U.K. The U.K. turned G.I. Joe into Action Force to make it more European I guess and turned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. I think they believed the word ‘Ninja’ would cause violence amongst the youth there. For a while we got the same show’s repackaged from the U.K. as well as the regular unedited shows. It was pretty stupid.

Back to 1980’s apartheid, it never affected television here. We all grew up on a steady diet of most of the shows you watched. Everything from The Cosby show, Sanford and son to Good Times. So from a pop culture background we’re pretty similar except we also had a big influx of English shows.

Well, isn’t that an interesting conundrum.  I would have thought the state would have created an environment where no black personas were lifted up on equal footing with a white persona, otherwise it would be incredibly difficult to maintain the inferiority based rules system, but seriously, that is just my bias having grown up in the US Deep South.  The idea of racism started to erode more in the South when modern positive black role models gained entertainment footholds within that society.  The positive black role models did sway some of the people who were only “culturally racist,” and not necessarily holding racial hate within their heart. Interesting interesting interesting.  I have to say I am absolutely loving this 20 Questions so far.

Question 13: Do you hold on to any specific superstitions or is there a ritual aspect to your life?  For example, when I played soccer in high school I had a very specific lucky sequence of getting ready for a game that I felt “would help me play better”, and I know other players on the team did as well. In truth these sequences were a nice ritual to center my thoughts and create focus.  Got anything like that? or even anything like “I turn around three times in a doorway to scare away the ghosties?”

Our old apartheid government kept their hate local. International black people were perfectly fine. At least that’s what it felt like. For a lot of the older people here racism almost felt like a family tradition as opposed to a set of actual beliefs. We could go deep here but for the sake of keeping it light maybe we shouldn’t.

I wish I had a ritual, maybe it’d help me focus better than my two cups of coffee before working. Having said that there’s something comforting and ritualistic about actually putting on a uniform for sport. Beyond that, no. I feel like less of a man now.

pfft, you are no less of a man than you were prior to this conversation. (take that as you will).

Question 14: Fill in the blanks: “I find that I am mostly ______________.” “Others find that I am mostly _________________.”

"I find that I am mostly tired." "Others find that I am mostly stubborn."

How’s that?

Kids will do that to you.  I was starting to not be tired when my oldest turned 4… and then the we had the youngest… I am so so tired.  Just so tired.  Why can’t I sleep more?  The stubborn thing might be due to your oppositionally defiant nature. You are just so contrary… so amazingly contrary.

So 2/3rds if the way through this…. Question 15: Is there anything out there that I have not asked that you feel I should have?

'Amazingly contrary' is now on my business card.
Other ways to answer that question could be
I find that I am mostly sitting. Others find that I am mostly damp.
I find that I am mostly joking. Others find that I am mostly a douche.
I find that I am mostly ambitious. Others find that I am mostly a unrealistic.

I could go on forever!

Hey now buddy my job is to answer the questions not make them up, you getting tired?

Let me ask you, have you got any special skills? Something you feel makes you better than the average person?

Usually I don’t turn the tables until Question 18, but I will allow it. I am nothing if not magnanimous.  But before I get to my answer, I want to address your continued answering of Question 14.  Yes, you could go on forever, but are the answers true?  Do people really find you mostly damp?… sure they could probably find you moistly damp, but mostly damp?  I think not.  Anyway, that is neither here nor there.

To answer your question posed to me…
I am a really good cartographer.  I can create some really kickass maps. Cartography is where I am an em-effin viking.  That being said, I seem to be losing my drive to do the mapping.  I am not quite sure where the drifting interest is going, but I just seem to feel uninspired by making maps these days.  Doesn’t matter if it is for the stodgy data driven maps I have to do for work or the artsy fantasy/sci-fi maps I attempt to do from home.  I just am uninspired and disinterested at the moment.  What did the Vikings do when raping and pillaging just didn’t do it for them anymore?  I seem to be getting more internal fulfillment from drawing right now.  Go figure.

Back to the matter at hand…  Question 15 was a catch all that I sometimes include to address the elephant in the living room.  I try to stay away from the typical questions that people usually get asked for whatever profession they have, but some people secretly want to answer that question that they constantly get asked.  15 would have allowed for that to happen.

Question 16:  How do you foresee where the Internet and its mere existence changing how media is distributed, comic books, music, news, tv, comedy etc…?  I ask since you are doing digital comics for DC (notice how I got the plug in there? {it’s like I am a goddamn Viking at this as well})

Damp and evasive, ok maybe one friend found me damp but it might have something to do with drying my hands on him every time I was done in the bathroom. Yup still a friend.

I sometimes forget there are people out there with cool real jobs like cartography! You’re like an old school explorer guiding people to new lands, or maybe drawing those little maps in the beginning of fantasy books.

I understand being disinterested though. I’ve had to revive my love for drawing as well. Everything is a job but that doesn’t mean it can’t be amazing.

Question 16
Yup a raping, pillaging, mapping viking!

With people’s reluctance to pay for things there seems to be few financial models that truly work. The most successful strategies seem to be employed by a few web-comic creators. They give their content away for free, create brand loyalty and earn through the sale of eventual book collections and ancillary products. Of course this only seems to work if your product is amazing. That’s the real game changer for me that the internet has unleashed. With anything literally at your fingertips why would you waste your time watching/reading or listening to something that is brilliant? This is forcing the quality of all things to go up and that’s a great thing.

Thanks for the plug sir! Yeah I drew a Batman story for DC Digital, It’s written by Joe Harris who wrote into one script all the things I’ve ever wanted to draw. It’s a really great little short story that’s part of the Legends of the Dark Knight banner. Ben Abernathy, editor supreme, has put together an amazing collection artists and writers on this series and I’m really lucky to be part of it. Our story doesn’t come out for a while still but the first few parts are available here for only $0.99. Who doesn’t want to read Batman stories by Damon Lindelof, Jeff Lemire, J.G. Jones, B. Clat Moore, Ben Templesmith and more? No nobody paid me to say that, I’ve been buying them myself and they’ve been brilliant.

I find that the predominance of the digital revenue models I have seen either require millions of individual hits to create significant ad revenue, or like you said giving the cow away for free and hoping someone will purchase cow related merch and products. Both of these models require fairly large audiences.  It will be interesting to see when someone figures out a model that works for smaller audience.

So, as many people know, I have adopted my Mother-in-Law’s age old saying of , “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Question 17: do you or does your family have any sayings, mottos, adages, credos that you adhere to religiously?  If so, where did they originate?

Your Mother-in-law sounds feisty, I like that.

I think the closest thing we have to saying ‘if you don’t work, you don’t eat’. It has it’s origins in the Bible I believe. Now my Mom never used that as a threat, say ‘clean your room or no food’. It’s more of a statement about not expecting anything unless you’re willing to work for it.

That is an awesome philosophy with which to live.  Yes the M-I-L is quite a feisty one, but that is one the main reasons I like her so much.  And we are nearing the end here…

Question 18:  Your choice: You can ask me another question or answer this one… What happened this weekend that made you smile?

I choose both. First the question for you.

Hypothetical situation. You’re in a room with a stranger on one side and a million dollars in a duffel bag on the other. You can only leave the room with one item. Either the stranger or the money, but whatever is left in the room is incinerated. Do you save the life or take the money, and why?

I finally got over my cold this weekend and was able to get some exercise, the endorphins made me smile.

Well, in this hypothetical situation the stranger is actually a wookie and I choose him because of the whole “life-debt” thing.  Seriously, I would select the stranger anyway… unless he was a dick.  Life is more important than the concept of money…. $10 mil? $100 mil?  different answer… unless of course it is a wookie, and then I pick wookie every time.  I did it for the wookie.

Endorphins are great things.

Question 19:  What are you taking away from this 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

Ok then i throw this to you, how many lives do you think you could save with a million dollars? I’m betting quite a few and I think you’d be forced to by the guilt of killing someone. Wookie or not.

I’m taking away a lot of guilt for taking so long to get back to you there for a while. Beyond that the conversation, I’ve found it interesting meeting you in this. I just have to admit I don’t hate people and like meeting new ones. It’d also always fun crystallizing an idea that’s been rumbling around in your head by writing it down.

Oh, that is an apples and oranges argument.  I am a relatively good person, but I am not a saint.  If I came into contact with a cool mil, I would not spend every dime helping folks.  There is a good chance that I would not spend anything helping anybody.  That money would be mine.  Now, I would not push someone into a fire for it.  I am sure that a million dollars could save a good many people, but that wouldn’t be how I would spend the money.

As far as the guilt?  Let that shit go.  It is not worth any of your mental energy. Unlike you, I do hate people and I do not like meeting new ones.  You are one of the exceptions that proves the rule.

Question 20: So, what’s next?  Be as vague or as specific as you want.  Be as philosophical or concrete as you wish.

Try not to fuck shit up too much.

Unless it is sparring, in which you want to fuck that shit up old skool.

This has been an absolute blast and I have to put it in one of my top 20 Questions ever, but in truth I say that with nearly every 20 Questions interview that I do. Feel special, but not too special there.

Seriously people, follow Jason on Twitter, look at his website (that will be fully functional soon), and join in the fun at Ten Ton Studios where I “met” him.

To recap:
The power went out June 29th
It is still not on
It is projected to come on by Sunday the 8th
I was driving in the nastiness on Friday
It was a bit scary to say the least
On Monday the 9th the wife and kids will be traveling to Arizona for a mini-vacation
The wife has to do 3 hours of work a day and both kids will be in camp in the Tuscon area
I will stay home packing
BECAUSE WE GOT THAT HOUSE!
It is awesome and amazing and is quite a stretch for us
A stretch that is worth it
Happy belated Canada to my Canadian friends
Happy early July 4th to my US friends
If there are other national holidays that I need to address, please leave them in the comments and I will address them in future posts

20 Questions Tuesday: 206 - House

This week I have a few interviews almost done.  I am sure you will see on next week.  It will be awesome, but today the topic is “House” because we are in the middle of a bid for a house that would be perfect for our family…. so my mind is not really that focused on anything else.  Deal with it peeps.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Steev, Chris Ring, and Lsig.  Onto the questions!

1.  Knowing what you now know about homeownership, if you could send a message back in time, what advice would you send yourself?
Work with a stager and maximize the space in the house.  Let specialists do their specials.

2.  In a money’s-no-object world, what is your favorite roofing material?
Slate.  It is durable and looks awesome.

3.  Which is better, large front yard or large back yard?
Large back yard

4.  Best lawn ornamentation for pissing off the neighbors?
The little racist lawn jockey.

5.  Best lawn ornamentation for warning off the neighbors?
A baby’s leg

6. I really hate the TV show “House” because it is repetitive medical nonsense. Could you post a picture of Hugh Laurie in a dress for me? (That’s a house related question.)
I was not able to get to Photoshop last night, so this will have to do…

7.  I really loved the movie “House”. Where was the actual house used in the movie located?
Monrovia, CA, the house is called “Mills View”… it’s historic.  I loved House as a kid… Damn! Come back from the grave and ran out of ammunition.

8.  The actress who played Mary on Little House On The Prairie was one of my grade school crushes. Was she ever in anything else? (see how I worked “house” in there?)
Melissa Gilbert?  Yeah, she has done some stuff, but never as much as popular as Little House…Fun fact, she married Tron.

9.  The song says that there is a house in New Orleans called “the rising sun” and that it has ruined many a poor boy. How?
Well, it was either a house of ill-repute where boys went to partake in sexual commerce, or it was a gambling house where boys went to lose their money, or it was a drug house where boys went to get a fix and ended up dead or something like that.

10. They say people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Is there a better alternative?
Either throw sponges in the glass house or make the house out of more typical materials… or were you talking about the adage?  If so, I would say this one. “Overweight sleep doctors shouldn’t tell me to lose weight.”

11. Home is where _____________???
My family resides.

12. Best song with House/Home in the title?
I just looked through my iPhone to see what “Home/House” songs I have, and the only one that came up was “Home” by the Foo Fighters.  So I guess that will have to do… I am listening to it right now, and it could work for this purpose.  I am sure there are others, but I figured I should put my money where my mouth was and pick a song I have with me.

13. What if all the pigs built their house out of bricks?
It would have been a much shorter story with no moral to learn from.

14. Does “Wait ‘til your father gets home” instill joy … or terror?
Neither… can something instill annoyance?

15. Your home away from home is?
I think a local metro-park called Highbanks

16. What makes the house you are looking into so great?
What is the realty axiom?  Location! Location! Location!  4 bedrooms, 2 offices and a play-room for the kids.  The kids will be able to have most of their stuff out and I will be able to have an actual studio that is accessible all the time.

17. Which tv house is the best? I’m partial to the Silver Spoons place, but Webster had a dumbwaiter to ride…
The silver spoons place is pretty boss.  I toy train running through the living room? Thank you kindly.  I have to go with the Brady Bunch abode because the sets clearly could not fit in the facade shown in the opening shot.  That family room was gigantic… that house was a tesseract.  It was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside.

18. “There’s no place like home.” True or False?
True

19. Is Alabama in fact a sweet home?
It is a sweet home for someone, just not me anymore.  That place can go sit on a tack for me.

20. HOMES- greatest geography mnemonic ever?
It does have some issues because it does not put the lakes in any specific order. It would be better if either SMHEO or OEHMS were words. For those of you who don’t know HOMES is Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior… the Great Lakes. 

To recap:
The seller should be getting back to us by 3 this afternoon…
Everyone cross your fingers
We really want that house
I want a studio
Badly
The wife needs an office with a door
No one wants to watch her work
It is like making sausage
Just be happy with the results
Don’t watch the work
Close the door, Honey!  No one wants to see you working
There will be a Yea! or Nay! by next week
Send positive house thoughts this way
We could use it.
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 205 - Birthdays

This week is the week when I turn 38 years old, or is it 38 years young?  It is on Thursday the 21st, and I will gladly accept PayPal donations as a gift.  Anyhoo… what I have found is that on birthday week’s thoughts inevitably go to, well, birthday.  I am not sure how I will celebrate the day.  I might just decide on taking the day off from work.  That and a specialty pizza from a take and bake place down the street.

Anyway… Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, themikestand, Lsig, Lord Pithy, Ballpoint, Chris Corrigan, Allrileyedup, Ralph Harbison, and Dr B-Dawg.  Onto the questions!

1.  A: At what age do birthdays cause depression rather than celebration? B: Are birthdays even worth celebrating past 21?
A: Age 2
B: Most definitely.  They are a great time to tell others, “Suck it, bitches!  I made it another year!”

2.  Best Birthday gift? (don’t say your children, that’s too easy)
My children are not gifts… my children are little bundles of work wrapped in grubby hands and whining.  Best gift?  hmmm… Being in Scotland on my 18th birthday.

3.  A: Any “Birthday Suit” moments you care to share with the rest of the class? B: Why is it unacceptable to wear your birthday suit to your birthday party? C: What suit do you prefer to wear on your birthday?
A: None that I can remember…I might have blocked them out.
B: It is perfectly acceptable, but you do need an overcoat.
C: It is more of a costume than a suit.

4.  Do you share a birthday with anyone famous/infamous?
Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Michael Gross AND Meredith Baxter (both Keaton parents, “What would we do baby, Without Us?”), and Jean-Paul Sarte.

5.  Thirty eight? You’re a spry young thing, aren’t ya?
Spry is not a descriptor I would use.

6.  Does your family have any birthday traditions?
Not especially.  I think we might need to start some up.

7.  What will you wish for when blowing out your candles this year?
A direction

8. What would have been the best birthday party entertainment for the 4-year-old you; and what would be the best birthday party entertainment for the 38-year-old you?
At 4? A bouncy place with a trampoline and slides would have been teh awesomest.  At 38? I would love to have a nice dinner and then go to a professional soccer game to be followed up with some kind of donut-like confection.

9. There was a show on TV this weekend about a family spending $10,000 for a birthday party for their 4-year-old. What kind of party would you throw for yourself with that budget?
For 10K?  I would have an out of debt birthday party!

10. What was the most baffling birthday present you ever received (just so we have a goal to shoot for)?
I dusty rose pink cassette case given to me by my grandma who wanted a grand-daughter instead of me.

11.  Any resolutions for age 38?
I would like to become more active.  With the feet getting better and seeing my dad dealing with crappy knees due to disuse… I need to get moving.

12.  A: Birthday cake or pie? B:Does the “cake or pie” thing go out the window on birthdays? C: Favorite kind of birthday cake? D: What is your cake/ice cream combo choice? E: Birthday cake or birthday pie?
A: For a birthday? Cake
B: Yes, only cake
C: Yellow cake with with white frosting
D: Yellow cake with no ice cream near the cake to make the cake soggy… only uneducated boobs will put ice cream near a cake.  Ice cream should be served in a bowl with some kind of warm gooey topping.
E: Cake… see A & B.

13.  I had my 44th birthday last week. Fill in the blank: Why do Geminis ____?
Bifurcate…. Because they are gotta get their dual nature on.  I am a cusper though.  A little bit Gemini and a little bit Cancer… a dual natured hermit.

14.  It is good form to congratulate the mother on the birthday of one of her children because it was more memorable for her? Discuss.
It depends on if the kid has turned out well.  

15.  What do you think of the revamped astrology dates?
I don’t understand the necessity of it, especially since Astrologers (I read this somewheres on the Internets, so it must be true) seem to be saying that it is not a retroactive.  So the same astrological forces are supposedly influencing my life as the ones with me when I was born, but someone born today has different celestial influence?  That makes no sense.

16.  Are there any takes on the birthday song that you actually enjoy (eg “you look like a monkey and you smell like one too” “and many mooooore”)
Are you saying that I look like a monkey and I smell like one too… and that I am getting oooooooold?

17.  Any memorable birth stories reported to you by your parents?
Nope, not many of my parent’s stories are all that memorable... dull dull people

18.  Is your birthday your favorite birthday, or do you get more excited for someone else’s birthday?
I enjoy others’ birthdays more than my own, due to a birthday occurrence and the ambivalence associated with that event.

19.  If it’s your party, can you really cry if you want to?
Listen, don’t bottle that shit up.  You can cry anytime you feel like you need to.  Let it out.  I mean, you will be considered a freak if you do it on your birthday, but that is your deal, not mine.

20.  Why don’t we get an automatic day off from work on our birthday?
I have no idea.  Sounds like a banner idea though.

and one to grow on….
21.  Do you prefer to cover yourself in a blanket and rebirth through the birth canal in the morning or in the evening?
I am not a morning person.

To recap:
Birthday in 2 days
I expect cards, notes, gifts, phone calls, donations, people lining up to do 20 Questions with me
Come on Internets, let’s get this going
Things are afoot with houseness
Hopefully details will exist next week
A good friend of mine was diagnosed with thyroid cancer
He wasn’t using his thyroid much anyway, so it all works out
He is planning on taking a ferret in with him to the radioactive stuff
Hoping to get the powers of a ferret
That being said, most likely the ferret will gain his powers
So there will be one goddamn sarcastic ferret who can school people in BW3 trivia in about 2 months
Look for it
Sarcastic trivia laden ferret
I am Adrift
Like an untethered boat on the sea
Seriously, I will take donations via PayPal for the birthday
I even have a handy dandy donate button waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom left of the page
It’s my birthday… come on, gimme gimme gimme
Maj McArmypants, sending positive vibes your way
For a couple of reasons
38 years old or 19 and 19 years old
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 204 - Sally Kuzemchak

It is a rare time indeed when I get to ask someone local that I actually know (other than my wife) 20 Questions.  So this is a super fun event for me.  This week I get to ask Sally Kuzemchak 20 Questions.  A little background… Sally is Little Man’s best friend’s mom… she also happens to be a relatively successful nutritional blogger over at her blog, Real Mom Nutrition.  Honestly, her status as a nutritionist has cause mild angst and anxiety when her little boy is over for a play date…. What snack do you get for a nutritionist’s kid? Is pizza OK? Is this juice good enough…. or just water.

I say all this in jest, while it does cause some less than mild anxiety, we have never been worried and watching her boy is an absolute delight.  All the conversations I have had with her have been great, and I look forward to any of the interactions with she or her spouse.  Wonderful people, just plain wonderful.  Sally has been worried that her 20 Questions will not be interesting, but let’s be clear, I interviewed these losers: Steve, Dave, and Chris, so anything she says will be miles more interesting then them.  Without further ado, 20 Questions with Sally Kuzemchak, Real Mom Nutritionist.

Since you have read my posts here, I am sure you know what is coming.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  Moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was three.  When I was 4 or 4.5 we moved about 2 hours north to just north of Birmingham, Alabama (A little town called Center Point).  I went of to Kent State University in Kent, Ohio for my undergrad degree and then followed my fiancee down to Ohio State University (oops, THE Ohio State University) for my grad school.  We have been living in Columbus, Ohio ever since.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born and raised in a small town in Western Pennsylvania called, confusingly, Indiana. At 18, I went two hours away to State College, Pa. to attend Penn State. After graduation, I moved to New York City and lived in three places (Greenwich Village, Park Slope, and the Upper East Side) in 3.5 years. Then I left to be with my then-boyfriend, now-husband in Chicago, where we lived two blocks from Wrigley Field. In 2000, we moved to Columbus, Ohio where we’ve been ever since.

I imagine that many people you grew up with went to IUP for their college education, the most confusing university name ever. That is a pretty fun list of places.

Question 2: Do you consider Columbus your home now in your heart of hearts or is there still a window open to Indiana, PA?

My husband and I are both from the same hometown, so we’ve definitely considered moving back to the area at certain points over the years. I have so much of Western Pennsylvania in me—I’m a coal miner’s daughter, after all. But the region has changed, and I have changed. Columbus reminds me of a bit Western Pennsylvania because it doesn’t put on airs. I like that.

You should mention to my wife that you are a coal miner’s daughter… she will quote that movie till the cows come home.  That might be a fun exercise.

So Question 3: You are a nutritionist, but I imagine you did not start out in college wanting to study nutrition. How did you come into the field of nutrition.

I gained a crapload of weight in college. Well, 15-20 pounds—but I’m just over 5 feet, so that’s like 40 pounds on anyone else. It was the first time I’d been exposed to limitless amounts of bad food, and I had no idea how to navigate it. I was eating pasta with a side of bagels and waffles with soft-serve ice cream for dessert. Then after a night of drinking beer, my roommate and I would run home in time to order a pizza at 2am. So I went to see a dietitian, who taught me about balancing carbs, proteins, and fat. It was a total revelation to me. When I moved to NYC after graduation and got a job at Self magazine, it happened to be in the nutrition department. The more I learned about nutrition, the more I loved it—and it had made such an impact on me personally, So I went back to school (and eventually lost all that weight).

In high school I was around 6’ 1” or 6’ 2” and a huge weight of 165 lbs (that is 1.85 to 1.87 m and 74.8 kg for my metric friends, and 11.78 st for any Brits).  After my first semester in school I weighed a solid 195 lbs (88.45 kg in metric or 13.9 st in imperial units).  Freshman 15 is nothing. I scoff at a freshmen 15.  My mom was overweight and to combat that she never made enough food at dinner, so she wouldn’t over-eat.  The lack of food at meal-times and the shocking amount of exercise that a teenager can do playing sports kept me at a rather thin and maybe a bit sickly 165. The small meals did not stop my mom from eating every snack in the house late at night though which did not combat her weight gain in the least.  She also made and decorated cakes for a side business, which didn’t help matters.  When I got to college, there was food… and I ate it.  Alot of it, so I am happy for you to have lost all that weight… I would love to lose more of mine.

I have been looking forward to asking this question to you since you agreed to do this, because it is such a heated question with many ramifications… Question 4: Cake or pie? Which kind specifically, and why?

Frosting, actually.

I eat the cake too, since that’s what’s socially acceptable for grown-ups to do. But I’d rather do what my 3-year-old does: Lick off the frosting and be done with it.

We always had frosting in the fridge. Always.  I would put frosting on everything… between cookies, between pop-tarts, on top of glazed donuts, on a spoon, sometimes I would even just use my finger.  Everything can be a delivery system for frosting. The best ever was adding frosting to a vanilla cheesecake. I would pants a stranger at the mall to get frosting covered cheesecake again. Frosting is the best, I have a killer recipe for it if you ever want it.

Question 5: So, what is your nutritional weakness… what is the food that you are constantly fighting against eating all the time?

Sugar. Candy corn, Sour Patch Kids, frosting (and yes, I would like that frosting recipe), jelly beans. As a kid, I would eat spoonfuls of powdered sugar from the bag. Whatever’s the quickest way to get the sugar directly into my veins. I recently did a two-week no-added-sugar challenge on my blog. The first day almost killed me, the second day I had a pounding headache, and from the third day on, I was totally and completely fine. It was nice to be liberated from sugar for once in my life. Then came my birthday. And cupcakes. And then the floodgates sort of opened. I think when it comes to sugar, I’m either all or nothing.

The problem with the recipe is just how bad it is for you…. when you know what goes into it, it is appalling, perfectly wonderfully tastily appalling, but here we go… 2 pounds of powdered sugar, 1 cup Crisco, 1/2 cup of HOT water, 1/8th teaspoon lemon extract…. mix them up… done and done.

I have heard that white sugar is crazy addictive… like more than cocaine addictive.  It is just that the side effects and negatives associated with the sugar are not nearly as acute as side effects and negatives for illegal drugs.  The effects are much more subtle and long term, and not necessarily any less worse… that being said, I am addicted to my green mistress… Mountain Dew.  Boatloads of refined sugar and a nice slathering of caffeine on top.  It is the burden I must bear.

Question 6: Kind of the contrapositive for the previous question… so, which healthy foods cannot you not help but eat?

Man, that frosting recipe sounds intense. A cup of Crisco! If you want to up the addictive quotient, substitute almond extract for the lemon extract.

Your double negative is tripping me up. Do you mean “what healthy foods do you like to eat?” or “what healthy foods do you not like”?

As a note… the lemon extract gives the frosting a crispness to cover the heaviness of the Crisco.  Vanilla extract and almond extract seems to make it “too heavy.” A dash of peppermint might work, but the lemon extract seems to work really well.  I think I know too much about frosting…

To clarify the question… Question 6 redux: Which healthy foods, if presented to you, will you always, every time eat?  For example, my wife will put some cherries away, and I have a hard time letting blanched broccoli stay on the table.

In the summertime, I require about a pint of blueberries a day. I also eat a giant salad almost every single night out of either a mixing bowl or 1.5 quart casserole dish.

I need to add more salads to my repertoire. I have them occasionally, I just don’t know how to make it a meal more often. A giant one daily is pretty darn awesome.  

You have 2 younguns at the same age as my two kids, so I know your free time is limited, but…. Question 7: What do you do in your limited or nonexistent free time?

Clean my house or write my blog. How sad is that? If I did have free time, I would finally knit the last arm on the sweater I started making my husband in 1997.

Clean and organize is something I should definitely do more of… sitting is what I definitely do more of.  Sometimes I sit and think, and sometimes I just sit.  I have been finding myself spending more and more of my “freetime” working on this blog.  Currently I have seven (maybe eight) 20 Questions Tuesday interviews going on simultaneously, all at various stages of completion.

Question 8: Part of your professional existence is tied up in your Internet presence and personal branding.  Do you enjoy/how are you enjoying the process of slowly building a niche market Internet presence?

Building an online “brand” has been odd and not something I ever thought I’d do. I’m a bit shy when it comes to this stuff—I’ve spent 15 years as a reporter/writer, so I’ve usually been the one behind the scenes, not the one out in front. But I started cultivating a presence within my niche (nutrition) because I wasn’t finding what *I* wanted to read—which was honest and humorous but helpful stories about what it’s really like to feed kids (and yourself) when you’re a mom. So many nutrition blogs made it sound too easy. I felt the need to pull back the curtain and say, “Even though I have these fancy letters after my name, it’s not perfect at my house either. Sometimes my kids eat boxed macaroni and cheese, and sometimes I have cake for dinner.” And those stories I wrote—like my frustration when my younger son refused to eat dinner for weeks or my insecurity in the presence of the fashionable all-organic-buying mom behind me in line at the grocery store—seemed to really resonate with my readers. Much more than my straight-ahead posts with helpful advice.

But my internet “brand” is also based on my personality and keeping it “real” (as in Real Mom Nutrition), so I have to stay true to that. One day, I was griping in a Facebook post about Pop-Tarts, and a reader (quite fairly) pointed out that I was sounding elitist—and wasn’t I supposed to be all down-to-Earth and realistic when it came to food? That was a good reminder that yes, people are actually reading this stuff and paying attention.

The fact that I even have people reading my stuff who aren’t my friends and family is strange—exciting but strange.

You are totally going to say something about Pop-Tarts, aren’t you?

Most definitely…  Like I said… as a kid, since my mom made cakes as a side business, I would put frosting on almost any food stuff… I really don’t want to think of the calories I ingested with the frosting between 2 pop-tarts sandwiches I used to make… For the record, even non-nutritionists can rail against the atrocity that is the pop tart.  It really is devoid of health, and chock full of convenience.  We have 2 boxes in our pantry right now.  I don’t dislike pop-tarts, I dislike the lack of healthiness on which pop tarts are built.  That is some Real Dad Non-Nutritionist stuff right there… That’s how I bring it… Boom!

The online branding stuff is truly difficult, and the idea of making a vocation out of an online presence that does not have any celebrity attached prior to the whole online thing is daunting to say the least.  I can honestly say, that I would really enjoy making a living at this 20 Questions stuff, but I am also quite aware that it is nigh impossible to do at this stage in the Internet’s developing ecosystem.  In the early wild west years I think there was a better shot, think back to the development of Dooce and that generation of Internet celeb as online forces.  I had pretty good readership on my old blog sryanhart.blogspot.com for a while.  There were moments when I had goodly amounts of people checking into my weekly questions, however those numbers died off when blogs kind of died down in 2008-2009. But enough about me and the sadness that is my online presence.

Question 9: Fill in the blanks… “I find that I am mostly ___________.” “Other people find that I am mostly ___________.”

I find that I am mostly a bit too Type A.

Other people find that I am mostly ___________. I polled a few folks and got answers like “upbeat”, “positive”, and “fun”, so clearly I don’t seem as uptight as I usually feel. Though a friend once said I reminded her of Reese Witherspoon in the movie "Election". She insisted it was a compliment, but I’m not so sure.

Having met you I would say that you are typically positive and I find your conversations quite enjoyable.  I would not say that you remind me of Reese in “Election.”  She was a nut in that movie, I would question your friend’s idea of a compliment.

Question 10: What medium for entertainment do you find yourself partaking the most, Movies, TV shows (via DVD or over the net etc…), Music, Podcasts, or Books… etc…?

That character *was* a nut, but I think my friend meant that she thought I was feisty and determined—and well, very Type A.

Books, primarily. From the library. We cancelled our cable and watch something from Netflix about once a week. Music is reduced to the stuff my kids like, which ranges from Katy Perry (one of my older son’s favorites) to “All About John Deere for Kids” (14 songs, all about tractors) when we’re riding in the car. Alright fine, minivan.

Little Man is not super into popular music as much as he is into talking about Star Wars… incessantly.  Q likes dance music and instrumental surf rock…go figure.  I think it is excellent that you cut the cord on your TV.  If it were not for soccer games that I like to watch, I think we could possibly cut the cord and be cableless… Minivans are waaay too damn convenient. I sadly see one of those in my future.

It is all downhill from here… Question 11: How adventurous are your kids in regards to trying new foods?  When Little Man was allergic to nearly everything, we missed many an opportunity to introduce new foods.  He subsisted on bratwurst and Burger King hamburgers, and now he is incredibly reluctant to try new things.

Our 7-year-old Henry is pretty adventurous. My husband and I are both recovering picky eaters—I pretty much existed on buttered noodles until college—so we are in awe when he barely hesitates before taking a bite of something new at the dinner table. Sometimes he’ll even take a second or third bite before making a judgement. My three-year-old, however, is the opposite.

Since I was such a picky eater, I really understand the impulse to reject new foods, so I think I’m pretty patient with it. I can name a slew of foods I never tried until my 20s and beyond—asparagus, salmon, beans and lentils, onions, raw tomatoes—so I know firsthand that it can take a LONG time. Just because your kid isn’t eating certain foods now doesn’t mean he never will. You just have to keep presenting them at the table (without making a big deal about them or pressuring your child) and keep the faith.

Speaking of your husband… I know that when one gets married one has to integrate 2 sets of traditions.  Most of these traditions don’t rear their ugly heads until holiday times.  Question 12: What culinary traditions did you and your husband have that were different and had to be navigated over the course of years?  For example, it took about 4 or 5 years for the fam to make stuffing that both my wife and I like.

This isn’t a culinary tradition per se, but our families have very different ideas of what “enough” food means. Growing up in my house, you got your one plate of food (that my mom portioned out) and that was it. She didn’t do that in a controlling way—no one in my family ever talked about dieting or portion sizes. But my family is big on not wasting any food, so we didn’t have a lot of leftovers. The first time my husband spent Christmas with my family, he finished his plate of lasagna and was looking around for seconds and…there were no seconds. On other hand, my husband’s family serves a lot of food—so the first time I spent the holidays with his family, I was struck (and of course totally psyched) by the huge buffet of crab dip and shrimp cocktail and prime rib and trays of cookies. Since we’re from the same hometown, we see both families at each holiday and it’s always a funny contrast.

Oh and ps: If she reads this, my mom is going to be totally mortified. So let me state for the record that since that “lasagna episode”, my mom has always made sure to have seconds for Joel. (My parents rarely, if ever, eat seconds…which is probably why they’re both very slim.)

Food was an interesting thing in my household growing up, as I stated before.  The scarcity and then lack of scarceness I think has caused me issues with portion control and creating self imposed limits.  Woe is me… wooooe is meeee.

Question 13: Do you have any superstitions and/or rituals?

Nope. But now you’ve scared me. Should I have some? Do you have any extras?

I really don’t have many superstitions or rituals anymore.  I had a very specific method of getting ready for soccer games that was very ritual-like in nature when I was in high school.  That ritual was mainly to get me in a specific state of mind before the game.  I have never been truly superstitious either.  So far the best answers, by far, that I have gotten for this question are (and I paraphrase) “Never put a hat on the bed,” and “I am a Christian, so all the rituals that are associated with the religion.”

I do think that superstition and ritual seem to be going by the wayside.  Superstition mostly, because many things can be ritualized (how someone washes a car, gets dressed, makes coffee).  I am surprised there have not been more digital superstitions though.  ”Don’t put your phone by the computer because it will corrupt your memory” or some such oddness.

Question 14: What is the central, overarching question that drives you in all that you do?  What is the burning question you are consistently and constantly trying to answer through your thoughts, actions, and intentions?

You have completely stumped me with this. I’ve been thinking about this question for a week now. I must be really shallow or something.

Let me give you an example.  MY overarching question at the moment is, “How can I get my professional existence to line up better with my personal existence?”
BTW’s: You are not shallow, this is just a method of thinking you haven’t had to do yet.  In many ways it is better to live with a question instead of an answer.

My overarching question at the moment is, “How can I explore all of these cool, interesting professional opportunities without my home (and home life) becoming a disgusting mess?” It’s a version of the work-life balance dilemma. Some people have that dilemma but hate their jobs. I love my job…plus the jobs I hear about. And I’m always wanting to do them all. But then I become a stressed-out wreck and have to have those stress cries like Holly Hunter in “Broadcast News”.

oooh, work life balance stuff is a question for the ages, and I think culturally women get the worse end of the stick on that one.  I feel for you on that one.  All we have found with my wife’s consultation practice is that the balance issues really raise their head when it is out of balance.  Adjusting for life/work balance seems to be reactionary instead of proactive… at least in our experience.  It helps to have a partner that you trust wholeheartedly to only tell you to back off when you REALLY need to back off. I hope that I am that partner for my wife.

You just got back from the Mexico for a bit of vacation, Question 15: Where is your favorite vacation spot?

I’m a beach girl. So: on a beach chair with a book or music, looking at the ocean, preferably at 5pm when the beach is at its best. The added bonus of 5pm is that it’s past prime sunburning time. With my history of blistering sunburns—and stage 1 melanoma three years ago—I’m more likely to be under and umbrella and giant sunhat between 10-3.

Sorry, didn’t mean to bring everyone down—but I like to plug sun safety whenever I can.

Oh, we are all down now… so, so down.  No worries.  This blog can be both educational and entertaining.

I am mountains and forest guy, myself.  I just am not super into the whole “sand” thing, but hiking in a nice foggy mountain valley?  You got yourself a deal.

and we are now over 2/3rds done.  I am always surprised when I get to this point.
Question 16: I would consider myself a poor question asker thingy person if I didn’t ask you about being the author of a NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING BOOK… That is an abso-frikkin-lutely-amazing feat.  How do you not have business cards with that fact as your job title?  I would “casually” drop this little nugget of personal information in nearly every conversation, yet you hardly mention it and slough it off as nothing whenever it comes up… what’s that about?

It is truly not as impressive as it seems. Prevention magazine’s “Flat Belly” book was already a NYTimes Bestseller. I was doing a lot of work for them at the time and was hired to write copy for a spin-off cookbook about families. Not that it wasn’t exciting to see it on the list and be a part of it, because it certainly was. But if I ever have a book on the bestseller list that was my totally my inspiration and creation, then you will see it tattooed on my bicep. Or at least included in my email signature.

I think you may not be giving yourself the credit you deserve, but I am not your therapist.  If you write that book I will hold you to the bicep tattoo…. and the email sig.

Question 17:  You have been freelance and self employed for a good while now… could you ever see yourself solely working for somebody else ever again?

No.  No no no no no no. I will do what it takes to help pay the mortgage, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. I’ve been freelance for 15 years. I’ve had some jobs over the years that required me to work elsewhere—like a hospital or office—and I always feel homesick. There is something magical about your house in the middle of a Wednesday when both of your kids are at school and there is just….silence. Plus my office-drama muscle has completely atrophied, so I wouldn’t know the first thing about handling gossip or a difficult coworker in the next cubicle. When I have to work with someone difficult, they are gone from my life after I hang up the phone or close their email. I love that.

I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to transition from working for yourself for 15 years to going back to a 9 to 5 job with a supervisor and performance review and office politics and commute, etc… I would imagine it would be very akin to going back into a traditional education system for a classes/papers/exams situation.  I could possibly see re-entrance into a more non-traditional degree program, but there is no way I could go back to school right now for something like history (which is a topic I find very interesting).

So, here we are at the pivot point in the 20 Questions.  I have been grilling you for 17 questions, but at 18 I turn the tables.  Question 18: Is there anything you want to ask me?

I have actually really enjoyed this process, and I love the premise of your blog. BUT, do you ever get really sick of people droning on and on and on about themselves? Don’t you wake up some days and think, “I don’t give a shit about whether so-and-so likes cake or pie today?”

Not especially.  These interview 20 Questions tend to be spread out around weeks and weeks and weeks, so I don’t really get over-tired of asking these questions.  Mainly because these questions are spread out over time and the answers are never ever the same.  It really is quite interesting to do.  As to the droning on about themselves, I am not sure if you have seen, but I drone on about myself for most of the posts.  I mean really I “wax eloquent” a bunch… a whole bunch.

Question 19:What are you taking away from this 20 Questions that you did not have when you started it?

A recipe for frosting that I plan to make and spread on Pop-Tarts of course!

So, I have corrupted a nutritionist with tales of frosting and pop-tarts.  I now consider this post a success, and my job here is done!

So, final question. Question 20: What’s next for you?  Be as vague or precise or as philosophical or concrete as you want.

Somehow, *somehow*, slowing down. I’d like to soak up the last gasps of my 7-year-old still thinking I’m cool and wanting to (occasionally) hold my hand. Enjoying my 4-year-old before he dives into the world of kindergarten and I start losing him to the world at large.

And maybe writing a book (I’ve got an idea percolating).

The fact that those two goals are not really compatible in any way, shape, or form  just about sums it up for me.

You are nothing if not dichotomous.  Thanks so much!  This was so great.  Not only was it a fun 20 Questions, it also allowed me to learn a ton about my boy’s best friend’s mom (that was a pretty good string of possession).  Next time I have to make frosting, I am giving some to your kid to take back home.

Sally is a great writer (I mentioned the best seller thing, right?) and whether you are parent/mom or not you should go over to her blog and give it a read.  Definitely follow her on the twitters.

To recap:
On Monday I had an itch on my left shoulder blade area that I couldn’t quite reach
Therefore I scrubbed my back up and down on a doorway at work
Humming “It’s the Bear necessities” while I did it to complete the picture for the co-workers
I do nothing if not complete idiotic picture for coworkers
They do not quite know how to take me
I kind of like it that way
Today I am taking video of holes we put in a road
Rather un-exciting videos
One might call them boring
I hate that “boring” is an appropriate term for much of my work
Everyone I talk to seems to think I am making a pun due to my works’ strong association with boreholes
I cannot think of another word that works quite as appropriately
Have a great weekend everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 203 - The Future

So this past week I was in the realm of Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.  A whole week of hanging out with the fam and not going to work.  That and I did not get any more of my interviews moving.  Plus, whomever I interview could probably not out do Clark Gregg and 4 boss artists drawing Agent Coulson.  Anywho… aside from finding snakes right by our room for 3 of the 7 days and my wife being deathly afraid of the snakes, all went well.  Luckily, because my intrepid questioneers are so amazing, I had 20 questions in my pocket that I was sitting on and waiting for a rainy day.  Today is that rainy day.

Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Lsig, Dr JHP, and Steev… on to the questions!

1.  Where’s my flying car?
It’s in your floating garage.

2.  Do you believe in visions of the future or is it just deja vu … or a glitch in the matrix?
Okay, this is going to take some ‘splaining.  Time much like other dimensions can loop back on itself, the reason we have deja vus is due to time looping on itself and our coincidentally being unconscious at the “beginning” of the loop.  Here is the thing, time is constantly looping on itself, but we do not recognize the loop because of all the other outside stimuli we are experiencing.  Remove the outside stimuli and one is able to experience the “future” in a dream state.  So deja vus are when we are experiencing the future whilst sleeping, and then do not recall the future until it is happening.

3.  What under the radar sport will become most popular in the future?
A google search brings up KRONUM… I am at work, so I can’t look at this “sport.”

4.  Finish this with the most likely candidate “Rise of the planet of the __________”
Ants…

5. I made a $10 bet with someone OVER 10 years ago that movie theatres would NOT disappear in 10 years, do you think I’ll get my money?
Nope… I would make the bet that you never get paid for that bet.

6.  When you think of The Future, how far ahead are you generally thinking about? Five years? Fifty? After lunch?
When I think of “future” I am thinking of 50+ years…

7.  Do you have a five-year plan?
Not at the moment… but I should

8.  Do you agree with the axiom, “There is no date but what you make?” (aka the “Terminator” theory of the future)
As stated before Time is not a linear unidirectional propagation… therefore there is no only one future… The future is limitless

9.  I’m often struck by how much we are living in The Future - touch screens, instant access to information, vacuum cleaners that run themselves,  etc. What technological advances in your lifetime impress you most?
The smart phone in my pocket is pretty amazing… that level of connection to others is pretty amazing.

10.  If you could make a wish to guarantee one thing for each of your children’s futures, what would you use your wishes for?
Significantly better healthcare… hell, our kids might be around for the Singularity… if you are not familiar with the Singularity… look it up, could be amazing.

11.  You probably will get this many times but where is my flying car?
It is in your floating garage… floating away in the ether never to exist.  Flying cars are a bad idea. They are not practical and I cannot imagine how dangerous they would be.

12.  Is the future really so bright that you gotta wear shades or is it just the hole in the ozone layer?
A little of Column A and a little of Column B.

13.  Do you believe we can glimpse at the future? Not winning the lottery per se but that odd sixth sense when some people know and prepare for something bad just before it happens?
Yes, I do.  I think that people with “true” precognitive abilities can just access loops in time better than others.

14.  Would you rather have the power to change the past or set the future?
Neither.  You change the past and your present is different.  You set the future and what is the point of decision making.

15.  Does Peyton Manning have a good future in Denver or not? A lot of people really want to know.
Payton will have 2 “good” seasons… not great seasons, and then he will be done. He will then become a rather well thought of quarterback coach, then offensive coordinator, and then a crappy head-coach… so it is written, so it shall be done.

16.  What will the world be like in the year 2000?

Much like it was in 1999, but with more manually corrected dates on checks. Remember checks… err… cheques?

17.  Time travel is always fun and the Toynbee Convector by Bradbury is my time travel story. Do you have a favorite story involving time travel and the travel and the future?
The Castings Trilogy by Pamela Freeman is pretty cool.  One of the main characters jumps back and forth in time to help resolve the plot.  It is a fantasy series though, and not a sci-fi series, but this is my blog, so these are my rules… deal with it.

18.  We’ve had the Ice Age, the Bronze Age, the Industrial Age and now the Information Age. What “Age” do you see in our future?
The Universal Age, where we find out that there is other intelligent life in the universe.

19.  If there is something you would really like to see come about in the future, what would it be?
Fat free products that taste just as good as the fatty versions, but are also healthy… guilt free donuts for everyone!

20.  If you had the word “future” in Scrabble, what would be the most points you could get for it?
30… I think.. double letter score on the “T” and triple word score on the “E.”

To recap:
There are snakes in Florida
The wife really really does not like snakes
She doesn’t want them erradicated
She wants them away from her
LEGOLand in Florida was a bunch of fun for the kids
It was a nice distraction from the wild world of Disney
Well, Capt McArmypants is now Maj McArmypants
Congrats to Maj McArmypants
Infact, I got some questions from the good Major for this week’s 20 Questions
From Maj McArmypants:
Extra 1.  2100:  So space travel, nanotech, AI, etc?  or will “Crabs in a Pot” Theory prevail?
All of the above.  The crabs in a pot will slow things down, but progress will always prevail.  Expert systems first (rudimentary AI), nanotech, then space travel.

Extra 2.  Biggest “future” invention you anticipate in your lifetime?
Clean fuel… something that takes less fuel consumption than it generates with no negative environmental side-effects.

Extra 3.  Gonna do Wetware when it comes out or are you opposed?
Definitely not 1st gen.  Maybe third generation with potential to upgrade.

Extra 4.  Is the whole “tweeting” thing proof that we should stop right now?
Nope, tweeting is awesome… follow me: @mmmmmpig

Extra 5.  So what is it with the Unitard and the future?  I mean I could honestly see the Toga making a huge comeback in the future, but I simply cannot imagine the technological breakthroughs that make the unitard standard issue daywear.
How about a toga over a unitard?  That’s where I see things going.

Maj McArmypants also had emergency back surgery for a bulging disc
Get well soon, McArmypants
Get well soon
Have a great weekend everyone