20 Questions Tuesday: 50 - Gen X and the Go-Go 90's

Due to the OVERWHELMING response (one comment, Thanks B!, and my response) to this past Thursday’s post X: 24 of 26, I have decided with my insurmountable wit that today’s theme for the 20 Questions Tuesday extravaganza will be about Gen X and the Go-Go 90’s.

Thanks this week go to: ACW (most likely sad that Poison was ousted by Nirvana), Lord Pithy (felt the public embrace of the B-52’s for Love Shack and Roam was too little, too late), Bomber (a closet Bon Jovi fan if I have ever seen one), Peefer (for some reason Depeche Mode comes to mind as one of “your” bands of the 90’s), and JW (too cool for mainstream music. Prolly listened to Los Straightjackets back in 94 when they pressed their first album).

On to the Questions:

1. What were you doing on the "day that the music died"? (4/5/94)
I had class that day, I believe I had Differential Equations II and Cartography I and Cartography Lab that day. I was sad, but not surprised. One of my friends was absolutely shaken by this event. Still wears a Cobain shirt occasionally. Cobain was a tortured morose soul.

2. How did the Northridge earthquake get covered out here in the Midwest (1/17/94)?
I am at a bit of an advantage for this one, so my results are a bit skewed. In the aforementioned Cartography I class the professor’s primary research was in mapping natural disasters. She was like a kid in a candy store collecting research on this one. She subsequently imparted much of her research on the students in her classes.

3. What's up with that OJ guy? Did he ever find the killer he was going to search for?
I think the killer must have been a caddie… Anyway, I was incensed that the OJ trial was called the “Trial of the Century.” How quickly people forget about Nuremburg.

4. Did you "party likes it’s 1999?"
In 1995 I was all about partying like it was 1999, however I had calmed down considerably by December 31, 1998.

5. Screw Gen X, I'm from the Me Generation, so why can't I ask a question about Me? Why do most Gen X-ers feel superior to Me?
No one cares about the Me Generation except, ironically, the Me Generation. You can ask a question, but no one will really care. I would imagine that Gen X-ers feel superior to you not because of your generation label, but because of you.

6. What is the absolute oldest I could be and still be part of Gen X?
Honestly, I think it is around 35-36 years old. So I would go with 36.

7. How about Jem X, would she still be Totally Outrageous?
Like, OUTRAGEOUS TIMES 10!

8. GenX / jinx – coincidence?
I have found in labeling there are very few coincidences.

9. So let's hear your thoughts on the "slacker" label given to Gen X-ers...if you're not too indifferent to respond!
I think Gen-X-ers saw the adults in the 80’s working themselves to the bone in the professional rat race and not getting much for their above and beyond efforts. We collectively looked around and determined that enough is really enough and extra effort was not really necessary. Why work your ass off for an "A" when a "B" is all that is required?

10. When Gen X-ers are in their 60’s and pieces are written about their generation, what will be touted as the greatest contribution of this generation?
Mediocrity (actually the Internet)

11. Can you explain WHY Boyz II Men's craptastic song "End of the Road" broke records in the 90s as the single to remain at the #1 position for the longest stretch of time?
I do not understand this phenomenon at all. While there was a dearth of popular true R&B in the mid to late 90’s, I can’t think that there was enough of a fanbase to make that #1 for so long. All I can come up with is that they timed its release just in time for the song to become every Class of 94’s “Class Song.”

12. Chris Farley, Tim Meadows, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Julia Sweeney joined Saturday Night Live in the year 1990. Do you have a favorite cast from SNL?
Hmmmm…. I would have to go with the early years after Chevy Chase left or the Carvey, Hartman, Meyers years.

13. Please help me and summarize what happened in the 90's. I have Absolutely no recollection.
Ummm… If you really need a primer on the 1990’s, I would suggest looking somewhere else on the Internet. This weblog would be a woeful source of real information.

14. Did the world get better or worse, or did it stay EXACTLY the same?
With the advent of the Internet, I would say that the world only got better for porn.

15. Are the 90's the decade in which The Beatles finally started losing popularity? If so, please explain why.
The people who popularized the Beatles were parents of teenagers and pre-teens in the 90’s. Because nothing parents do is cool, the Beatles became un-cool.

16. What on earth did people do with their lives prior to reality TV?
Must See TV on Thursday nights on NBC.

17. Why is there such an emphasis on naming each generation? (X, Y, Me, Boomers, etc)
The media wants labels to address collective attributes of like aged people.

18. What are some of the 90's articles of clothing that Little Man will make fun of you for wearing in old photos?
Only time will tell, but most likely jeans shorts.

19. Did you think people REALLY liked the Grunge scene, or just went along with it because MTV said it was cool?
Grunge was a nice alternative to the girls, booze, and fun of the 80’s hairbands. Grunge was a different sound (mainly due to the minor chords) and the market was ripe for a new sound. I don’t think MTV created the movement as much as it rode the movement.

20. WHY?
Why Ask Why? Drink Bud Dry

To Recap:
I don’t have much to recap today
There were things that I could have linked for today’s post, but I am feeling all 90’s apathetic*
Would have linked:
X: 24 of 26
Poison
Nirvana
B-52’s
Bon Jovi (via wikipedia)
Peefer
Depeche Mode
JW
Los Straightjackets
Kurt Cobain (via wikipedia)
‘94 Northridge Earthquake (via wikipedia)
“Trial of the Century” (via wikipedia)
Nuremburg Trials (via wikipedia)
Jem
Boyz II Men
Chevy Chase
Dana Carvey
Phil Hartman
Mike Meyers
the Beatles
And “Must See TV” (via wikipedia)
"Drink Bud Dry" (via wikipedia)
The end


*All hyperlinks in this post were made by the person submitting the questions, not the author of the answers as per usual.

20 Questions Tuesday: 49 - July 4th - July 4th Celebrations - Patriotic Holidays, etc

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the impending holiday of July the 4th. The topic for today is technically “July 4th - July 4th Celebrations - Patriotic Holidays, etc” I got an amazing amount of responses to this call for questions. I guess this is a topic that is near and dear to many folk. Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Tree Monkey, Bomber, ACW, Belsum, Dr Civil, and JW. I got more than 30 questions, but since the topic is soooo time sensitive I am just going to cull some of the Q’s instead of tabling the topic until next week. In fact in honor of the nation’s birthday, I will add on 5 extra questions. That is a celebration beyond compare.

On to the questions:
1. Could my hearing impairment be in any way connected to having a firecracker go off in my ear when I was 7?
Say again? I missed that.

2. Which would hurt more: a Roman candle enema or forced viewing of an American Idol marathon?
That is a tough one…. Unless it was watching American Idol contestants run a marathon then the answer would be easy. I still will have to go with the AI marathon just because my family has bestowed me with an amazing gift of tuning certain things out.

3. Favorite response: "ooooh" or "ahhhhhh"?
“You said WHAT?!?!” is my favorite, but in this case I will go with “ahhhh.” That is also the sound one makes when they put sore feet in a cold stream.

4. Would having a rocket in your pocket really intensify your lusty endeavors?
Not that I am aware of. In fact it is a bit bizarre and kind of sexually frightening.

5. Which of the Founding Fathers would you say is the yummiest?
I would have to go with Alexander Hamilton. That Scottish burr gets me every time. Not Aaron Burr mind you, although he is involved with Hamilton’s ultimate demise.

↑↑↑↑HOTTIE↑↑↑↑

6. Will you and the family be attending any fireworks this 4th? Does Little Man like fireworks? Will Little Man go to any fireworks viewings? Which fireworks display will you be viewing?
We are not sure whether or not we will go to the local fireworks display here in Clintonville. Last year we got Little Man ready and went but after the first explosion went off, he was done.

7. Is Red, White and Boom really as great as it is talked up to be? Red, White & Boom - I've heard "skip it." What do you think? Which is more interesting, the fireworks or the people at "Red, White and Boom"?
You have to seriously consider the source of your Red White and Boom information. I personally do not like people, therefore large gatherings of people is not a big draw for me. If you like festival type stuff and shoulder to shoulder people, this might be your thing. I don’t like people and am not overly impressed with fireworks, so Red White and Boom is not a good fit. I would (and am) personally skip (ping) it. As for the people v fireworks? I hate people, so I would only be there for the fireworks.

8. What is your favorite “picnic” food?
Hamburgers

9. If you could invite anyone to your 4th BBQ this year and they would attend, who would you invite? You're allowed two answers - one famous person and one not famous person (as in, you know, a friend).
Famous: Mathew McConaughey: We could charge admission to many a folk to come by, and I could be entertained by his folksy Tennessean humor. Plus, I would get lucky with Wifey later. She wouldn't be thinking about me, but I would still be getting lucky.
NonFamous: Capt. McArmypants – he would not be in Afghanistan then

10. Do you like North Carolina vinegar-based BBQ?
Not really, I am more of a Kansas City BBQ guy. Texas style is nice as well.

11. What's the secret ingredient in Bush's baked beans? And what's the secret ingredient in Chipotle’s rice? My husband and I swear it is some kind of sleep-inducing crack cocaine. It makes us simultaneously want more Chipotle AND want to sleep!
RE: the baked beans - Apathy and Brazilian brown sugar.
RE: the Chipotle - Cilantro is an odd beast of a flavoring. It is not a strong flavor but it is noticeable when it is there, and it makes you want more. The sleep is induced by the vast quantity of food.

12. Is it true that the Declaration was signed on July 8th and that everyone just agreed to it on the 4th?
Word on the street is that the resolution was adopted on the 4th and then signed by the majority of signers on August 2nd.

13. Was Dolly Madison an 18th century porn star? Come on, with a name like Dolly?!
Nope, she makes baked goods, doesn’t she?

14. Has there ever been a US war that the US public hasn't been totally feed up with by the 3rd year? I believe the answer is no.
I do not believe so.

15. Why is it called "flying the flag?" We don't fly it - it just stays there on a stick - not unlike a hot dog.
That is a very good question. A question, in fact, for which I have no ready answer.
16. I’m going to go ahead and rip off Jay Leno. Feel free to attribute The Tonight Show as the source of these questions. He asked them last week in a Jay-Walking segment and people did not know the answers. Sheesh. What the hell man?
A: What is the reason for celebrating on the 4th of July?
B: Who did America become independent from?
C: What did Paul Revere say when the British were coming?
D: Who was the general during the American Revolution?
E: What year did America become independent?

A: No other summer holidays that we can use as an excuse to drink.
B: From whom did America become independent? Be mindful of your grammar.
C: EGADS!
D: General Horatio Gates
E: We are still dependent on oil from OPEC, labor from Mexico, cheap goods from China, etc...

17. Is it true that only a man can properly operate a grill?
Are you saying that a woman cannot handle your meat?

18. Did our forefathers declare independence on the 4th of July because they were ready and it was the first step to international recognition or because it was hot and muggy in Philly and they were just feeling a bit pissy?
A little of Column A, a little of Column B.

19. There ain't no Question 19.
Why there no Question 19?

20. Did the Canadians just pretty much copy us with their whole Canada Day thing? And couldn't they have come up with a better name?
Well, I think it was a bit of a “Hey, I want a day too” from our northern neighbors, but as for Canada Day vs 4th of July? I am not sure either of them really wins a holiday naming contest.

***FIVE EXTRA QUESTIONS***

21. Independence Day...cool movie or dud?
That movie sucked baboon butt. God, it was horrible!

22. Will you be attending the Doo Dah Parade this year?
Nope. I hate parades. Too many people in one place for me.

23. What hunk/s of meat will be grilling for Wifey and Little Man for the 4th?
There will probably be some hamburgers, brats, hot-dogs and possibly chicken.

24. Have you blown any appendages off due to firecrackers? (Or at least come close)
I am the epitome of fireworks safety on the 4th of July. Now, on the 5th of July, my brother and I would attach the left over fireworks to some old models and blow them to smithereens (Stop weeping, ACW). In fact we joined the “snap-tight model of the month club” just for that purpose. On July 5th we would blow up 24 crappy snap together models with m-80's, black cat firecrackers, whistlers, and the odd roman candle or two.

25. Have you become the old guy in the neighborhood that always complains about "Those damn kids and their fireworks" when those said kids start lighting said fireworks?
Not yet, but if that ball comes in my yard again, it’s mine!


To recap:
Happy 30th Kim!
I am hungry
Lunch was tasty, but small
Not really small, but I am still hungry anyway
I mean, really, it was a significant portion of food
Not sure how the family will be celebrating the holiday tomorrow
ZingerZapper has decided to be an auburn haired vixen
Little Man ate 12 mini banana muffins yesterday
It is a good thing Wifey and he made 24
Little Man had a nightmare last night
I slept with him in his big boy bed from 4:30 to 7:30 this morning
His “big boy bed” is not really that big of a bed
And his Spongebob Squarepants sheets are like fine grain sandpaper
Hey, Wifey, we need to wash those sheets about a dozen times!

20 Questions Tuesday: 48 - What's Going on while Wifey is Gone

Oh, 20 Questions Tuesday, where would I be without you. Today’s topic is all about the single parenting whilst Wifey is in Nova Scotia. I would wax eloquent more about this but we are only on day 3 or 7 and I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I have thought that I should write a post this Friday and Saturday as well so you can see my Little Man forced descent into madness, but then I thought about how much effort that would take and how much effort I have to give. Those levels didn’t match.

Anyway, thanks this week go to Nancy at Blog Pourri, Bomber of no known affiliated blog, Allrileyedup from the redundantly named All Rileyed Up, and Themikestand at Speak into the Mike.

On to the questions:

1. How many real chores will you aspire to do? How many will get done?
Hmmm, I will aspire to do quite many, but most likely I will only be able to get the living room/dining room picked up and keep the dishes in relatively good order, but I am not making any promises here.

2. Take out? What’s the fave?
I love Chinese take out, but there is such a high probability of peanut cross contamination with Chinese food that we tend to stay away from it. The closest thing to take out that we will most likely have this week will be Wendy’s Chili acquired from the drive-through.

3. Boredom busters….before and after Little Man goes to bed.
He is always up for a good showing of The Upside Down Show from the DVR. I also randomly tackle Little Man and wrestle with him on the floor. That tends to end the boredom pretty quickly. As for after he goes to bed, there are the post Little Man chores that need to be done and I have popped in some of the Star Wars DVD’s to pass the time late at night.

4. How much time will you REALLY waste on the computer?
Define “waste.”

5. Will you cut his finger nails and toe nails? Is that your job?
This is typically Wifey’s job. I honestly am in awe of her ability to trim the keratin. If he has some egregiously long/snaggly nails I will attempt to trim them.

6. Typical bachelor day for the two of you…both the ‘fun fun fun on the go really cool kind’ and also the lazy-arse in jammies all day kind
I more like the lazy arse days, but Little Man likes to go to at least one fun place.

7. What kinds of crafts will you do? Will you show us pics?
He might want to paint some, but that is about as crafty as I will get with him. Sadly there will be no pics.

8. What will be the popular dinner of choice this week - McD's, Burger King, orange rice? What else is on the dinner menu now that you don't have the prying, judgy eyes of Wifey in the kitchen every night?
My bet is that Burger King wins out over McDonald’s. So far we have made pizza and orange rice. Tonight is a Taco night and Wednesday is to be a “left-over” night. On Friday or Saturday there is a good chance of California Pizza Kitchen.

9. Give an estimate in percentages - how much do you think Little Man's TV watching will increase during Wifey's absence?
10% but he has not been that interested in the TV as of late. It has been really nice.

10. If Mary Poppins were to descend upon your household this week to provide full-time assistance, which task would you be most grateful for her assistance with? *I'm not sure that's grammatically correct, but you get my drift...
The bath or taking him to the rail road crossing. That is a chore and a half.

11. Do you and Wifey have any little traditions/send offs you do for each other before one of you departs for a trip without the other?
No we don’t but I think we will need to since her vocation seems to be sending her to 3, 4, and 5 day events elsewheres.

12. How many times a day will you talk to Wifey? Will Little Man speak to her over the phone while she's gone?
Probably around 2 times a day. I wish it were more often. I always forget how often I talk with her during the day. If Little Man is willing to talk with her, he will, but sometimes he is not about the phone. Last night he asked her if she was still on the plane and then told her that he helped make some orange rice.

13. What is the origin of the phrase 'when the cat's away the mice can play'?
It is code. Serfs couldn’t talk about how lazy they were going to be when the Lord of the estate was away, so they talked about cat’s and mice because Lords were idiots and did not understand metaphor. In short what I meant to type was, “I don’t know.”

14. Who has a harder time with Wifey being gone, you or Little Man?
I tend to miss Wifey more than Little Man misses her, mainly because she is an adult and I need adult interaction. Little Man is not an adult and his conversations are difficult to parse sometimes and usually about trains.

15. Who is more easy going with the movie options for Little Man (ie, are you letting him watch movies Wifey would other wise un-allow?)
Not really. He is not that into movies right now. 30 minutes seems to be about his TV attention span, and even then that is pushing it.

16. Your life compared to Mr. Mom. Similarities? Differences?
Both Michael Keaton I went to Kent State, so we have that going for us. I am holding down a job outside the house, so there is a difference. I am also not wrangling 3 kids. My hair line seems to be about the same as Michael Keaton’s though…

17. Will Wifey come to a home that is cleaner than/dirtier than/the same as when she left it?
I hope it will be just about the same, but there is a good chance it will be worse.

18. How have you rearranged your work schedule to adjust to your new Daddy on Duty status? (read: Have you made up excuses so that you can leave the office at 2:30 every afternoon?)
I am getting in late and leaving early, or what I like to call the “PhD schedule.”

19. What will be the first thing that Little Man wants to tell his mother about when she returns? And what are the chances you'll have to bribe him so that he doesn't tell her something terribly incriminating about you?
It will most likely be about the last train he saw at the local train track crossing gate. The worst thing that I do while Wifey is gone is feed Little Man’s root beer habit.

20. How many train movies will you watch on YouTube before the week is out? 10-50, 51-100, or over 100?
So far I have not had to watch any. I have, however, seen 5 trains at the Weber Road crossing gate. 3 were waiting by the tracks in a car and 2 were by dragging Little Man from our house in his new wagon.

Bonus Question 21: Name one thing you would have liked to do if you and Little Man had the chance to tag along with Wifey on the trip.
Hung out with themikestand, duh! Little Man would have loved to see the container operations going on with the port facilities. I imagine we would have to pry him away from watching trains with a crowbar.


To recap:
Little Man is testing boundaries this time around
Wow, is he testing them
A bunch
I have tons of work I need to get done that I am avoiding
I am also sleeping like crap
I need to buy some faux Monterey Jack and Cheddar cheese for the taco extravaganza we are enjoying tonight
My work desk needs cleaned pretty badly
So does my computer desk at home
Hey, wait so does the bed-room
And the kitchen…
There seems to be a trend going on here
I imagine that tomorrow’s post will be even more of a descent into madness
Much like Brando in Apocalypse Now
Except I don’t have a private army or the rank of Colonel
Noggin and Nick Jr are flipping morons for not renewing (read the news post from June 1, 2007) The Upside Down Show

20 Questions Tuesday: 47 - Questions You Really Wanted Answers to But Were Too Afraid/Uncomfortable to Ask

Ah the completion of the 20 Questions Tuesday called “Questions You Really Wanted Answers to But Were Too Afraid/Uncomfortable to Ask.” Last week’s was uproariously fun, this week’s should be doubly so. It should be, but I am sure it will fall short.

Thanks this week go to ACW, J.A. Coppinger, Allrileyedup, TheMikeStand, and Wifey. Again, as I did last week, I shall endeavor to answer these questions as if I were the one you meant to ask the question.

On to the questions:


1. Why does the majority agree with the boss (or authority) when you (and a few others) know that the idea presented is crap?
Because, people are, in essence, a herd animal.

2. Why am I so damned handsome?
You could have stopped at “damned.” It would have been a more realistic question.

3. Why does US Soccer blow - for that matter MLS?
The big reason that the US blows at the moment is the lack of finishing ability. The US cannot put the ball in the net. As for MLS, the level of play would get better if they raised the salary cap. Adding the designated player rule helps, but until the league minimum is more than someone could make at Applebee’s waiting tables, the overall quality of the player is not going to go up much.

4. To the “waist-enhanced” young lady with the belly-shirt that shows the extra 50 lbs you’re carting: do you OWN a mirror?
Just cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean I don’t feel sexy.

5. To the soccer mom driving the huge SUV while talking on the cell AND eating a bowl of cornflakes while doing 85 on the highway: How friggin’ late are you for work that you felt this was necessary?
Get off my road. You don’t know where I am going or what I am doing or how many things I am juggling. It is best you get out of my way.

6. To the lady in front of me at the COSTCO checkout who tried to pay with a credit card: Did you not see the dozens of four-foot signs that said “CASH ONLY” or did you just assume it didn’t really apply to YOU?
Hey, meatbag, today’s retail should be cashless. This is my passive way to let COSTCO know that they should get with the times.

7. To the white-haired granny wearing the micro-mini and the see-through tube top that barely covers your ridiculously large silicon implants: Honey, are you ever gonna just let it go?
Old men need love too, I am not advertising my wares to you, young’un. Move on.

8. Also to the granny: is the young lady from question #1 your great-granddaughter?
Nope.
**author’s note: Umm… the last 5 questions were decidedly anti-female. Methinks one should look into why one is decidedly unhappy with women, ‘cause it is pretty clear that there are some un-resolved issues going on in regards to the womenfolk.**

9. To drive-thru coffee place: do I really need to tip you? Come on, dude, it's a drive-thru.
When you put it that way, no. But maybe you should tip the fast food drive through people as well.

10. To driver riding my ass: can you ease up? Why are you in such a hurry?
I will ease up when you are out of my way. I need to be over there now instead of here.

11. To certain family members: Why all the drama? Is life really that complicated?
You don’t know, you weren’t there, man! You were handed everything on a platter, and I just got to see the platter being handed to you. Mom always did like you best.

12. To Arby's: how do you make your roast beef?
Slow oven roasting and tons of salt and fat.

13. To certain family members in the midst of a divorce: are you seriously fighting over who gets 'custody' of a friggin' Snackmaster sandwich maker?
IT IS MY SNACKMASTER, GODAMMIT!!!!! I will be damned if my soon-to-be-exe gets the snackmaster.

14. When I'm at a four-way stop, and everybody's frantically waving everyone else on, and I seem to be the only one who knows whose turn it ACTUALLY is, am I supposed to go when it's my turn, or when there's actually an opportunity to go through (without running down a pedestrian) while clearly violating my conscience as it relates to traffic codes of conduct?
I suggest you always wait if you know you do not have the right-of-way. Otherwise if there is a collision, you will be liable for failure to yield.

15. Which is more important to personally concern myself with: the global implications of violence in the Middle East, or the sad state of social welfare in our own cities?
In many ways the 2 issues are inter-related. Social inequity on a local scale often mimics social inequity on a global scale. The issue is that the “have nots” are unhappy with the “haves.” I am not saying that the “Have nots” necessarily want what the others have (sometimes they do), but they at least don’t like what the others have.

16. To the parents of youngish children: How did you get pregnant with an “oops baby” when you already have a young child, know how babies are made, and know the consequences of making a baby? If you planned on having 2 kids so soon, that is one thing, but how could you get pregnant with an “oops baby?”
We had difficulty getting pregnant the first time. When it takes 3 years of unprotected sex and medication to get pregnant the first time, you think you have free reign to have all the unprotected sex you want. Turns out that your body changes after giving birth.

17. To the woman in the mall with an asymmetrical top: Doesn’t your one shoulder get colder than the other one? How do you deal with the un-eveness of skin to cloth contact?
It is fashion; I will do anything to stay in fashion. Even look like a late 1980’s crappy comic book villain.

18. To stinky cheese lovers: Ummm, even you refer to this crap as “stinky.” There is a strong relationship between the olfactory sense and taste, how can you stomach that rotten filth?
It is an acquired taste, you couldn’t possibly understand the sophistication one’s palette must live up to, to push past the stench.

19. To my young child: What is with all the “Why’s?” Sweet Mother Googly Moogly, I swear to anyone who will listen, if you ask my “why” one more time…
Why?

20. To Salvatore Ferragamo: What exactly makes your shoes worth $650… not that I wouldn’t spend it for the shoes, but I am honestly curious. Are the shoes manufactured differently? Are the materials that different from, say, a $150 pair of shoes? Would I just be buying the name?
My shoes are made from extraterrestrial moonbat skin, stardust, and a space-age polymer only able to be generated in a weightless environment. The international space station isn’t being used for research… it is my sweatshop to produce shoes. There aren’t 4 astronauts there, just 872 Malaysian 8 year olds making shoes. They have such cute tiny precise little fingers. Add all that up and you get one expensive shoe.


To recap:
I need to learn how to do this new piece of software
IT did not give me the discs with the tutorials on it
It is not going well
Lunch today was heartily unsatisfying
Stupid frozen lunches
I hope I can whip up something nice for dinner
Trying to decide on a 10th anniversary trip
Oh, the middle-class angst -
Ireland, Scotland, or Canadian Rockies?
Is storytelling the same as lying?
If so, I am quite the liar
Wood chisels are not friendly to one’s hands

20 Questions Tuesday: 46 - Questions You Really Wanted Answers to But Were Too Afraid/Uncomfortable to Ask

So I sent out my typical call for questions yesterday and got an overwhelming response. The topic I sent the questioneers was this one: Questions you really wanted answers to but were too afraid/uncomfortable to ask. And then I gave them 3 examples.

To Ex-Boyfriend: Did you think I wouldn't find out about you and my sister?
or
To Angst ridden teenager: How different are you from the host of other Goth people out there? Why soo emo, angst-ridden-teen?

Whoa Nellly, did I ever get a response. Questions from the right of me, questions from the left. People shot questions to me from all over the place. It was a question ridden pandemonium. The first batch of questions is from (I think the topic will carry over to next week) Lsig, Lord Pithy, Bomber, Dr B-Dawg, and Karen. I shall endeavor to answer these questions as if I were the one you meant to ask the question.

On to the questions:

1. Why do the sports gods hate Cleveland?
It is the same reason social workers get paid for crap. Cleveland fans are going to be Cleveland fans whether or not the team gets positive results. Just like people who hire social workers will pay them crap because they know those people will want the job anyway. The sports gods know that they don’t have to reward Cleveland fans with championships to keep the people being Cleveland fans. They save the championships for more fickle fans like folks from (oh, let me pick a random city from a hat) San Antonio.

2. Hey, dude in the office behind me: Do you know how much your food stinks? Every day? Do you bring it on purpose to torture me?
Nope, I did not realize that you found my food so malodorous. So the answers are No, No, and from now on Yes.

3. To the gentleman in the truck driving down the road: What, exactly, do you hope to accomplish by hootin' and hollerin' at me? It can be a nice ego boost, I suppose, but you're in your car. I'm on the sidewalk. You will never get any closer to me than you are right now. What's in it for you?
You could show us your boobs? Would that be so much to ask?

4. Why do people -- specifically this person, me -- die?
Lack of oxygen flow to the brain. Ultimately that is the reason everyone dies in the end.

5. Why is religion so all-fired important to people?
People need something to believe in, a purpose. Religion is one of the frameworks that provides some sense of a raison d’être. OOoooooh French!

6. If the question "What was there before the Big Bang?" is irrelevant and nonsensical, shouldn't it be easier to answer?
Who said that this question is irrelevant and nonsensical?

7. When Western civilization switched to a single-god system, did the leftover deities go on a divine version of welfare?
Nope, they went to Florida. That guy in the light blue shorts with the black socks wearing sandals; That's Heimdall

8. What is the significant difference between a worship system of many gods, and a worship system of a single god with saints?
The significant difference is that each of the minor deities in a polytheistic system had a certain amount of power and control over very limited aspects of the natural world, while in Catholicism, the saints simply bring your concerns to God on your behalf. The saints themselves do not have power and dominion, they have to curry favor with God to get your prayers answered. (was that too judgemental or not judgemental enough? I can never tell).

9. To SRH: If you had to compare me to some well-known/famous person, who would it be?
If you had to pick another name for me, what would my name be?
I would go with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and your new name would be Samantha Keen, but you would go by Sam Wise.

10. What do you think is the most challenging/difficult aspect of marriage? Now to flip flop, the best aspect?
Good communication and the results there of.

11. To ex-boyfriend from college: Did you break up because you cheated on me? If yes, which I suspect is the answer, is that woman now your wife? (sidebar - I really should write the guy a "thank you" note because he did me a HUGE favor, but this is still a lingering question)
Yes and no. If you send me a card I will get back in touch with you.

12. To the cosmos in general: Where the hell is my cell phone that I lost last month??? Please, cell phone, show your face!!!
***Your question is too insignificant for the cosmos in general to answer, so in effect your answer is the crushing silence that only comes from realizing your overall insignificance in the face of infinity***

13. What guy did I have a crush on that I would be shocked to know had a crush on me, too? (okay, probably no one, but just humor me and make up a name, 'kay??)
Chad Barstow

14. To acoustic singer-songwriter: Why do you think your trite observations about life are profound?
Yes, no one has ever been a depressed white chick from Milwaukee before me.

15. To local news anchorperson: Why do you move your head so much - left and right and up and down - to a final gently nod and close your eyes at the end of a news piece.

I am a trained classical actor from Julliard, I have my Masters in Communication Theory from Emory, and a Doctorate in Media Relations from Harvard Business School and I my lead in story is about some Purse thieves on the East Side. I wish I could have gotten my break on CNN where I could talk about Paris Hilton 24/7.

16. To movie actor: Don't you realize that you are just a puppet?

Yes

17. To morning driver that drove so slow that I missed a light at a long intersection and you made a right turn and were ultimately not affected by your oblivious driving: Do you know that your ilk will be responsible for the downfall of civilization?

That seems a bit grandiose or excessive, but it’s probably true. Initially, I thought you were being a bit grandiose, but then I realized that my lolly-gagging, unnervingly slow procession is one of the reasons for civilization’s downfall because I am so self absorbed in my slow procession that I have not noticed all the ills in society that a little bit of global attention would fix. You have it aright, sir. I shall endeavor to be more mindful of others.

18. To a recent traveler to Mexico: When you decided to try ecstasy, for God only knows what reason, why did you think taking it from a stranger in a night club in Mexico was a good idea?
If someone is going to buy illegal drugs in Mexico and has not brought one’s own pusher, one must rely on the kindness of the nice drug-dealing Mexican stranger.

19. To the guy who walks High Street (Clintonville and Worthington) and rides COTA, always wearing a blue button-down shirt (tucked in), sunglasses, and has a beard: What's in the paper sack (neatly folded down, under your arm) you are always carrying?
If it were your business, you would know.

20. To Crazy guy wearing the clown hair and muttering to himself while walking his dog: Have you ever thought about getting a blue tooth headset so you didn't look so nuts talking to yourself?
Who SAID that!?! GET out of MY HEAD!!! I like eggs with a little bit of Tartar sauce...

To Recap:
Tonight US vs. El Salvador in the Gold Cup
So I was all stoked since I have almost finished my first all digital painting without referring to an existing pic until I saw this
I am not so impressed with my meager skills now
I didn’t even know that was possible

I would embed it, but I cannot get to YouTube from work

When I get done with my pic I will link it
All I have eaten in the past 2 days is pizza
Pizza from 4 different places, but still only pizza
I feel like I am back in college
Except fatter
I bought a hack saw this weekend
When I asked the Lowe’s Customer Service Specialist which he would use he said, “I would get a Sawzawl.”
Wellll, Duh! If I could get a Sawzawl, don’t you think I would?

Yeah, I can post from work again

20 Questions Tuesday: 45 - Why have they taken my blogs from me?!? Why!?!? Intertubes!?!? Why?!?

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the Intertubes being stripped away from me. The official topic name is “Why have they taken my blogs from me?!? Why!?!? Intertubes!?!? Why?!?” Catchy, Huh?

Thanks this week go to Dustin, Allrileyedup, JW, Wifey, and me (I had to come up with a few to get to 20, see if you can guess which ones are mine. It will be like a game... with no rules or reason to play) Honest, I didn’t know the answer prior to asking myself the question. I can compartmentalize like that. This here brain has some skills.

On to the Questions:

1. Why doesn't "the man" love blogs like everyone else?
Many people do not realize the importance of the web-log. There are a multitude of blogs out there that are devoted to actual information. I never point to any of them, because, well, I don’t think any of my readership would really care to look at “advanced data visualization blogs.” When people think of blogs they tend to think of people posting pictures of their kids or posting pictures of their cats, or writing about how they have no friends.

2. Are we sure this wasn't the Yeti's doing?
I am fairly certain the Yeti is not associated with this due to his lack of IT job experience at my company. I think I would have noticed a 7 foot tall white curly furred primate with a receding hairline. Sometimes, I am unobservant, but really, if nothing else the fetid stink would have alerted me to his presence.

3. If I was to send your boss a twenty dollar bill and a bag of tater tots...do you think that'd win him over and convince him to reverse his ruling?
I might not even need the 20… Because everything is all righta with Ore-Ida!

4. How are you coping with this travesty? Does it involve cheese cake?
Lots and lots of weeping, but now I want cheesecake. Thanks a bunch!

5. Has Little Man sensed your sadness and tried to comfort you with trains?
Little Man has not noticed my sadness, but oddly enough he has attempted to comfort me with trains.

6. Do you think it has anything to do with you and your blog that all blogs are getting blocked?
Honestly, I don’t think our IT department pays enough attention to notice that I post to a blog from work. I think that my bosses might know that I have one, but they most likely don’t know the url. The IT department installed a web proxy server on Thursday evening of last week and in doing so had to re-install the web security software. The software went back to its default settings which classifies blogs as “Personal Pages” (not “personals pages” I can still get to those "LFMWBF2HBWINF").

7. If you did find out that it was, in fact, YOUR fault, what would you say to your co-workers?
It wasn’t, so I will not have to cross that bridge.

8. How does a computer/server/whatever know what is and is not a blog, in order to block it?
It goes directly by the domain names, for instance anything .blogspot.com or .livejournal.com were blocked, but people who have taken the time to get their own domain name were not blocked.

9. With regard to the question above, what is it that is doing the blocking -- computer, server, or whatever? Define whatever.
It is a software service that many companies subscribe to. At one time the company was using WebSense, but now I think we are using Sentian. Basically it is a way to keep employees from surfing porn sites and streaming radio stations.

10. How will this blog blocking affect your work routine?
Well, it has cut into my morning reading. I start out the day getting caught up on all the blogs I read. So instead of reading blogs, I now play 5 games of the super addictive Spider Solitaire.

11. Name your favorite place of employment and what your responsibilities were
Honestly, this is the first real job I have had outside of part-time college stuff. I worked at a few NordicTrack stores in a couple of different malls. I could sell a mean NordicTrack. Actually I was in the store when a Saudi prince came in. He basically bought everything. I'll tell you what; I made my sales goal that week.

12. Would you rather work in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, or in a sewage plant for 2? (For the same salaries)
Honestly, a cubicle. You cannot get that kind of stink out.

13. What will be the destination of little man's first train trip?
Not sure because we would need to make a trip to Cinci or Cleveland for him to hop on an Amtrak. If there were a station in Columbus, we would have made a day trip to Cinci or Cleveland already.

14. How's Wifey feeling?
Wifey is doing really well at the moment. Keith Richards seems to be passed out, so the gall bladder is not really giving her many issues at the moment.

15. Since the company has made it more difficult for you to post to your blog, will this impact your posting frequency?
I have a posting frequency? Is it AM, FM, or XM?

16. Why haven’t you shown us the before and after images of your digital mounds of dirt that you mentioned a couple weeks ago?
I haven’t really felt like it and they really are not all that exciting. It is not like I inserted a building into a bustling cityscape or drastically changed the look and feel of a particular area, but if you really are that interested, here they are.

Existing
Proposed

I can feel everyone’s hearts collectively palpitating at the excitement of it all.

17. What are you avoiding at work by writing this post?
I am currently not doing a map of rail in Ohio. Little Man would be so unhappy with me. I will finish up that map tomorrow.

18. Without the daily reading of your blogs, how do you not pull all your hair out from boredom at work?
I have to proceed very gingerly as far as my hair is concerned. My forehead (immense to begin with) seems to be getting larger and larger. Not to mention the thinning happening on my crown. So, I do not pull my hair out. It seems to be leaving fairly well on its own.

19. Since you don’t like people and you seem to socialize via this blog, how is this affecting your interpersonal interactions with the people at work?
Well, ummm… My wit has taken a certain edge to it…

20. (from Wifey) What the Hell do you do at work anyway? I mean really, what the Hell do you do? Shouldn’t you be bringing home the bacon and not just posting this meandering claptrap?
Ummm… I do all sorts of worklike stuff. I have a 47% win rate with Spider Solitaire. I have found that reading Wikipedia about “workplace slayings” gets people to leave me alone. I have collected 5 pairs of scissors (2 of which are old plot shears so they are about a foot long). Other than perfecting the art of snarfing extra pizza, bbq, and box lunches from lunch meetings I did not attend, not much.

To recap:
My elbows are quite dry
They are all scratchy
My MSWord has some weird issues when I copy and paste into Blogger
I am sure that tomorrow I will have some kind of bone-chilling tale of suspense and excitement to tell you about
Positive of it
No really
Why is it a “pair” of scissors?
It is just one simple machine, isn’t it?
I just ate but I am all hungry again
35 minutes on the elliptical after a week of neglect will cause some burning sensations in the calf area
I think Wifey is addicted to my iPod
"I'll tell you what" should be pronounced "I tell you wut"

20 Questions Tuesday: 44 - A Hodge Podge, a Mish Mash, a Potpourri, if you will

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is a hodge podge, a mish mash, a potpourri, if you will. The reason for this a-topical 20 Questions? Well, I did not email people for questions yesterday. I sent out an emergency call for questions this morning and was pleased with the responses I got.

Thanks this week (A very hearty thanks, by the way) go out to ACW, Belsum, Allrileyedup, the Em, and Ksig.

On to the questions:

1. Why does modern man believe that he can build anywhere? (coastal plans along the Atlantic and Gulf coasts, hillsides in So Cal?) Have we lost touch with nature?
It is not that man has lost touch with nature, it is that the places that are prone to major catastrophic events tend to be the more panoramic places with the best soils for agriculture.

2. What does it mean when both cars have over 100K miles?
Time for a new car, or that you have spent around $13,000 on gas (assuming an average of 30 mpg and an average gas price of $2.00).

3. Is Little Man into the F1 series of locomotives?
Little Man is not too fond of steam locomotives. They are not what he sees when he goes to the railroad crossing to watch trains. He is into the diesels.

4. Do you like to take your birthday off work?
Yes, yes I do. It is my own personal holiday for reflecting and introspection.

5. What did you get men (Belsum) for my birthday on Thursday?
I was not aware it was your birthday on Thursday. I will have to look into what gifts would be appropriate.

6. Last year was my Golden Birthday. When was yours? Did you do any extra celebration?
Mine was in 1995, and I didn’t even know that it was “golden” at the time. Could have been a heckuva party.

7. It’ll be a full moon on my birthday. Do you pay attention to moon phases at all?
Not in the least.

8. Twice in elementary the last day of school fell on my birthday. Is there possibly a better present for a kid?
Well, there’s… nope, that isn’t as nice. Or there is… that’s not as nice either. Ummmm… nope, that really is the best present a grade-schooler could have.

9. Which is worse--living along an earthquake fault, living on a coastal bluff subject to mudslides, living in a fire hazardous area with only one road out, or living in a hurricane disaster area?
Earthquakes happen along a geological time frame, so it is not as risky as one might think. Don’t get me wrong, when they go, they go big, but in overall risk assessments, it is pretty weak. There are things one can do to mitigate the fire hazard associated with one’s domicile. Granted, in a real firestorm, there is not much that you can do, but in a run of the mill wild fire, you could shore up most of your possessions and easily survive. Hurricanes take a looooong time to make landfall. There is a pretty good amount of warning that is given before those guys make landfall. Therefore, one could save themselves fairly easily, as for property? You can replace property. I would say coastal bluff prone to mudslides. If the area is truly unstable, then it is only a matter of time before you get the slump.

10. When living in Alabama, which was the worst hurricane experience for you?
Since I was in Birmingham, which is pretty far inland, Hurricanes were pretty much just massive rainstorms by the time they got to us. Our worst storms were spring cold fronts sweeping in from Mississippi. Those bad boys could be all sorts of nasty: tornadoes, straight line wind, lightning, hail.

11. What is the difference between a tsunami and a tidal wave?
Tsunamis are associated with geological events (volcanoes, earthquakes, etc…). Tidal waves are a misnomer that should be referred to as tsunamis. The Japanese deal with these things all the time. I think they deserve to give them their global name.

12. High heels--naturally hazardous to one's feet or a beautiful accessory?
I understand the appeal of high heels. What is not to understand? They add height, lengthen the leg, thrust the breasts forward, and push the butt back. That being said, I don’t like them because of the long term physical damage one can get by frequent use. I have plead with Wifey about no longer getting significantly raised heels.

13. Do have an emergency preparation kit at home?
Nope. Should I? Most definitely. I plan on us surviving on the weak if there is a disaster in Columbus.

14. What do you think the best state to live in would be (overall)?
Hmmm… I love me some Colorado, but there are many states I have not been to, so I think pronouncing a “best state” would be a bit premature.

15. Would you prefer drowning or freezing to death?
Freezing

16. Why is it that people comment on what you are wearing no matter how dressy or casual it is? It's like no matter what you wear it's not right. Okay, maybe this question was more about me (the Em) than you, but you had better answer it correctly.
Pass

17. Why do some people enjoy running so much....they'd rather just run than run while playing some sort of sport...don't they get bored?
I have no idea. Running is not an activity that I can get behind. Some people can get into a kind of meditative state whilst running. I just constantly think about how much I have left before I can stop.

18. What's your favorite flower? Do guys have a favorite? Would you like it if Wifey ever got you flowers instead of the usual other way around...the guy buying flowers for the lady?
For my undergrad graduation, Wifey got me flowers. I was truly and honestly touched. That being said, I do not really have a favorite flower.

19. If you were walking down the street and someone “served” you, what moves would you pull out of the kilt? And what dance would you close the dance-off with? And don’t chicken out with some lame answer about running away or not retaliating to ‘ you got served’. I want dance move names so I can picture it mentally.
Hmmm… you have me at a disadvantage. I am not knowledgeable in the terms of dancing. I will try to give you a good picture. If someone served me on the street, I would most likely be wearing a kilt, so anyone who steps up to this shit needs to beware. I think I would have to start with a traditional 6-step. I gots to get my momentum goin’, dawg. I think some swipes would be in order, straight into a wushu with a front flip directly into a set of broncos. Once the broncos are done, I am all over the flares. My flares are money. For the finale, I would do a front back flip, front fall and end it with an airchair. Cause that’s how fly I am, shiiiii.

20. You grew up in ‘Bama (Crimson Tide/Auburn Tigers) and now live in C-Bus (OSU Buckeyes). I realize you are not a football fan (and don’t give me the bs about soccer being football) but what are the major differences between the 2 (schools,fans,cities,etc…) towards football?
Alabama does not have ANY professional sports, therefore college football is the surrogate. Sure, sure, Columbus doesn’t have an NFL team, so the Central Ohioans treat OSU like a pro-team, but the ENTIRE state of Alabama lives through their 2 schools. There really is very little comparison about the rabidness of Alabamian football fanatics. They truly are the fundamentalists of football. Another key difference is that OSU does not have an in state rival. OSU’s biggest rivalry is with Michigan. Michigan’s biggest rivalry is with Michigan State. Therein lies the problem.

To Recap:
Little Man now has a bed with a slide on it
Who doesn’t want a bed with a slide on it?
I would have loved a bed with a slide on it
Columbus’s original name was Wolf Ledges
We would have soooo many professional sports teams if that were our town’s name still
Who wouldn’t be afraid of the Wolf Ledges Alphas or the Wolf Ledges Loup-Garous
It was one busy weekend
Busy with stuff top show for it
But not enough stuff to warrant how busy it was
I think it is time to turn on the air conditioning
Little Man might be done with the daily nebulizer!
I am going to type that again for emphasis
Little Man might be done with the DAILY NEBULIZER!!!
And his peanut allergy is actually getting better
He had an allergist appointment this morning
It went very well
Wifey and I are happy

20 Questions Tuesday: 43 - By the Numbers

I have done letters so now it is on to the venerable topic of numbers. Many people think that since I am a math major I am all knowledgeable about numbers. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am increasingly more unfamiliar with numbers. So today’s topic was an interesting one for me to try and answer. I have to answer well enough to seem like I haven’t forgotten all that much, but, you see, I have.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, Lsig, Tree Monkey, Dr B-Dawg, JW, WV Slim, and ACW.

To the questions!

1. a. If 1 is the loneliest number, and two can be as bad as 1 (it's the loneliest number since the number 1), what is 471?
b. If, as songs would have us believe, One is the loneliest number and Three is the Magic number, what is Two?
c. The Beatles claimed that one was the loneliest number, but it really seems to be better than say 3, 5, 7 in terms of the effect of the group dynamic on your un-coupledness. So shouldn't there a better mathematical development such as:

L = 1 - N/N!

According to this little guy: 1 and 2 have a loneliness factor of 0. As the number of people increase, the loneliness factor increases also. For even numbers the loneliness factor isn't zero. I'm guessing that this reflects jealousy or the desire to be with someone in the group than with the current partner. Interestingly, 11 is the plateau number. So, in a group with a minimum of 11, that is when you are truly the loneliest. Thoughts?
a. According to part c, 471 has an L value that is almost equal to 1. So 471 is significantly lonely.
b. Two can be as bad as 1 (as stated above), but 2 is only lonely if the 2 are not together or have been for a looooooooooong time.
c. The basic premise of your function is not valid. The function you describe is asymptotic to L=1

L = 1 – (1/(N-1)!)

Your premise is that as you add people, loneliness increases. That just does not hold true. Sure there is a capping function where loneliness kicks back in because as more people are added the individual relationships break down. I would suggest something more along the lines of L = 1 – ((N+1)!/(N-1)^N)). It is still asymptotic towards 1, but there is more fluctuation. In this instance 2 and 3 are more lonely than 1, but what the heck.

2. There are word problems in math; give me an example of a math problem in grammar.
Too plus too equals FORE!!!!

3. If you have three apples, and I take three apples away, what law of capitalism have you failed to uphold?
Retention of my personal property. I am charging interest on those apples, by the way. They were not a gift. Oh, I am all about the usery.

4. What is funny about 72?
Oh, 97 knows. Oh yes, 97 knows indeed. Let's just say it involves coughing, penguins, blue painters tape, and an artichoke.

5. How many pickled peppers could a woodchuck chuck?
18, but that is "up-chuck".

6. Aesthetically, I think 8 is the nicest-looking number. Do you have a favorite?
I like 9 when it is hand-written.

7. Why, if numbers are so cool, did mathematicians decide to start using letters in algebra? Other than to totally confuse the math illiterate, of course.
Mathematicians needed place holders, and the most denigrating thing they could do to languagey people was make their symbols empty and meaningless.

8. What’s your lucky number?
22

9. What number(s) seem to recur for you in phone numbers, DL#, zips,...
8’s, 5’s, and 7’s

10. Why didn't natural selection gives us 12 fingers and 12 toes. Was there someone with 12 fingers and toes (let’s call him Chad)? Did we remove Chad from the herd because of his smug superiority? If, for some reason, the base-ten numbering system had to be abolished, what would you advocate in its place?
Chad was a jerk. All uppity with his counting more than others.

Oddly (not in honor of Chad... he was suck a jerk!) I would go with a base 6 or base 12 system. We already use it for circles and calendars.

11. Have you seen spiderman 3 yet?
Nope, I will see it when it makes it to TBS in a year and a half.

12. What is the number of merit badges that you earned?
I think it was 21

13. What is the Historic/religious significance of pi 3.14?
Mmmmm pie…. I’m sorry what was the question again?

14. What is the highest number that little man can count to?
He has on occasion gotten to 17. he typically stumbles around 11, and 12.

15. Who sang "Baby Don't Forget my Number" since it wasn’t really Milli Vanilli?
Brad Howell and John Davis (not of Garfield fame)

16. What do you think is the biggest number people are willing to pay for a gallon of gas?
$3.99

17. What's up with that magic number in nature....the Golden Ratio. Do you think it hold the key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe?
It is all about measuring stuff and comparing it. It is pretty impressive when you see how many things in nature have that ratio, and how many unrelated things seem to have the ratio embedded within them as well. I do not, however, think that it is a key to unlocking the secrets of the universe, I think it is a proportion that has some evolutionary merit for movement and balance.

18. How do you feel about you age? Are you where you thought you would be?
I really feel pretty okay with my age. 32 is not as bad as I thought it would be. I am moderately active. I only have a few chronic aches and pains. Little Man is not surprisingly old for my age. I guess I am about where I thought I would be around now.

19. Please explain the chaos theory. Who is that guy Mandelbrot (he is quite the looker)?
Chaos theory is more aptly defined as non-linear dynamic systems. It is where you use the output of an equation as the input for the next step of the equation. So an equation like X =|(N^N)-1| in linear terms goes along like (0, 0, 3, 26, 63, …..), but non-linearly it depends on what number you start with. If you start with 0, it goes (1, 0, 1, 0,1,……). This system is considered non-choatic for the numbers 0, and 1, but chaotic for 2 and above. That is one of the basics of chaos theory without looking at the stuff holistically.

Looking at non-linear dynamic systems as a “big picture” you find that technically chaotic things tend to follow a certain amount of pattern and while they cannot be exactly predicted there is a pattern to the systems that can be predicted.

Mandlebrot, was the first person to “map” all the quadratic functions tendencies towards chaotic systems. Summarily, the Mandlebrot set is that map.

20. To graduate as a math major did you have to complete some kind of freaky proof?
Nope, I just had to do some coursework. Had I continued on and gotten a masters in mathematics, I would have had to do some more intricate studying and proofing.

SPECIAL EXTRA 3 QUESTIONS

21. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. That bastard ate 9! Do you hear me, 7 went all Hannibal on 9!

22. Come on, who really thought the elf from The Santa Claus would be able to solve crimes using some highly improbable math?!
Not me. I love math and I couldn’t get into Numb3rs.

23 Why can you "play with the numbers" to get something to make sense, but you can't "play with the letters" to finish a report?
That is a good question, and one for which I do not have an answer.


To recap:
I am quite tired today
And sore
Stupid exercising
I couldn’t sleep at all last night
Doot doot doo doo doo doot
I think the room was too hot
That doesn’t bode well for this evening
It is going to be much warmer today
Little Man ate 3 plates of spaghetti last night
3 PLATES!
He isn’t a boy, he’s an eatin’ machine

20 Questions Tuesday: 42 - Feelings...

Originally I was going to have the topic for today be about the sense of touch due to the sensory nature of the past couple of Tuesdays, but I decided against it since most of the people in the list from which I request questions are gutter dwelling porn fiends (I am looking at you, Lord Pithy! And you, Dustin!). I changed the topic to Feelings instead (much to the chagrin of some).

Thanks this week go to the Snorks addict Lord Pithy, the blunt instrument of observation that is Nadolny, the locker-room humor naïf Bomber, the unfortunate porn addict Dustin, my long lost sibling Allrileyedup, and the gutter dwelling porn addict WVSlim.

1. Obligatory cage match question: Barry Manilow vs. Kenny G?
Kenny G, he could use his saxophone as a weapon. How could he not break Barry’s nose with the thing?

2. What stupid song has the line, "Be quiet, big boys don't cry"? I can hear it being whispered, but it's absolutely driving me insane.
This song is not what is driving you insane.

3. What is the acceptable time one can pout after having one's feelings hurt before one is considered self-indulgent?
It really depends on the offense and the pout affectation. Are you standing in front of them, arms crossed, tapping your foot, and sighing a little bit too loud? Because that has a very short window of appropriateness

4. Feelings?... WTH made you pick this topic?... One demerit to your GUY card!
I lost my GUY card a long long time ago.

5. If you feel up a tree in a forest, and no one’s around, does it make a sound?
If you listen really hard you can hear it whispering on the wind… “it is the body, it is not me…”

6. Do you think that discussing your feelings with a psychologist (other than wifey) would ever be a productive thing?
I do, I have, and it was. The problem with therapists is finding a good one that is not too effed in their own head. Many people who are in the mental health field are there to focus on others mental and emotional issues at the peril of their own (Freud anyone?).

Finding a therapist that works for you is a tiresome and annoying procedure. Their personality and yours have to be compatible and they have to have a theory of practice that works with your thought process (are they solution focused, whereas you are existential?)

7. Favorite feel-good movie?
Love Actually. See, no GUY card to speak of.

8. Do you spend energy trying to be considerate of the feelings of others? Not just those you love, but people who come and go during your day - coworkers, the dude at the gas station, etc.
I take efforts to be polite to those I come in contact with and may not ever see again, but I am not positive that it could be considered “considerate” of their collective feelings.

9. Quick - name a song that comes to mind with the word feel/feelings in the title or lyrics! (Other than the terrible and obvious song, "Feelings.")
More than a Feeling by Boston because I am all about the power ballad

10. Would you rather feel nauseated or so stressed you were made to sweat?
Nauseated to the point of sweating? That is pretty nauseated. Ummm… I will go with stressed.

11. Do you have any foods that qualify as "feel good" food (other than Cheese Cake since your dependency on that food item is well known to all)?
I am not proud of this in the slightest.

12. Can one really be "Hooked on-a Feeling"? Speaking of Hooked on a Feeling, who sings the best version of the song?
Psychological dependence is a scary thing. heroine users are all technically “hooked on a feeling.” So, in answer to part 1 of the question, “Yes.” Part 2 = the Hoff. ‘nuff said

13. Is it wrong to feel bad spending $400 on camping supplies?
It depends on if you mean camping equipment such as tents, backpacks, and sleeping bags, or if you mean camping supplies such as dehydrated food, bug repellent, and matches. The former: nope, very easy to rack up $400. The latter: ummm…. I question would question one’s purchasing practices unless a large scale camping trip is about to be undertaken

14. What is the best answer to the question "I don't feel so well?"
Maybe, you’ll tell me when you know?

15. Do you believe in psychic-type feelings?
Yes, I remember reading somewhere that people only use 10% of their brain. There is a boatload of grey matter that we don’t use that could lead to some of the more commonly held extra mental abilities.

16. I'm all out of questions. How does that make you feel to know you've stumped me?
Really good. Honestly, I will sleep better tonight for it.

17. When was the last time you cried?
I think I have blocked out that memory, because the last time I can think of was when I was like 9 years ago. I am sure it has happened since then. Do I get my GUY card back now?

18. What has Little Man's most outrageous outburst of feelings been?
The outburst that confuses Wifey and I the most is when he goes ape-shit because his decorative band-aid has come off.

19. What was the worst thing you did to hurt someone's feelings?
Told it like it is. Word.

20. Do you believe in intuition - gut feelings?
Yes, indubitably

To recap:
Day 1 down, I just have to survive 4 more with Little Man solo
Yes, merely “survive”
That was all I was tasked with
I slept fro crap last night
Probably will sleep for crap again tonight
It is the way of things
Sorry to break it to you, but the Magic 8 Ball isn’t really magic
Scissors or shears?
Little Man was ready to leave before I was this morning
WTF?
My headphones at work are from 1994
I think I might need some new ones
I don’t feel so well?
If you have any feeling questions, please feel free to ask them in the comments

20 Questions Tuesday: 41 - Sound, part 2

Ah, the continuation of sounds mysteries. Thanks this week go to Dr B-Dawg, Wifey, and JW. Usually I attempt to write something pithy here as in introduction. No such luck today!

On to the questions:

1. Why do so many people insist that records have better quality than digital for music?
I think vinyl-philes feel that records are better because of the imperfections. If you ask them, they like the “pop” of the needle touching the record. They like the low hiss of the record where there is not supposed to be any sound. Basically it is nostalgia. No one who did not grow up with records think the sound quality of records is better.

2. There is a certain solemnity when putting on a record that I don't get. What is that about?
Again, this is a visceral reaction to people who grew up with records. There was an interactivity to the process of putting a record on the turn-table that is just not present with cd’s or other digital music. Hitting the play button or double clicking on a file is no where near as interactive as plcing the needle in the groove.

3. Have you ever heard a “who” or is that more due to Horton's superior sense of hearing?
I have heard “the Who” but never a “who.” I love me some Dr Suess but he really did try to shove his own personal political opinions on kids all the time. Why the anti-abortion establishment has not latched onto “Horton Hears a Who” is beyond me.

4. When was the last time that you and your co-workers broke out into a spontaneous song and dance of "Cleveland Rocks!"
3 Thursdays ago, but it was all for the irony of it, because everyone knows that Cleveland does not indeed rock.

5. What did you like to sing in the shower/car?
Shower: Nothing, don’t want to attract Little Man’s attention to the warm shower’s cocoon. He does enjoy opening the bathroom door and allowing the heat to escape.
The Car: Who Can it be Now, by Men at Work. This is Little Man’s favorite.

6. Besides the obvious spots, what part of your body makes the most noise?
My crackly knees.

7. Fingernails on a chalkboard - the ultimate grating sound. Anything else sound close?
Microphone feedback is pretty bad to me.

8. Why is it called sounding-off. I don't get it.
Initially it was how soldiers alerted command of who was still on the line, so I am not sure how the phrase came to mean when someone gave their unwanted opinion.

9. If a tree could scream would we still keep cutting them down?
Depends if they were always screaming*.

10. What sound do giraffes make? I'm just curious. Your child wants to know. meeerilapt

11. Why didn’t Lord Pithy ask you about “Tintinnabulum,” it is, like, his favorite word ever?
I was surprised I didn’t get a question about this as well. He is nothing if not predictable.

12. What's the last sound you'd like to hear before you die. (Not that I'm planning anything).
I am sorry your Wife had to go like that. Just kidding Wifey, as I am sure you were… I have my eye on you!

13. I find it interesting that changing one small word, even if it's a word in the same general category can completely change the meaning of something. For example, Nirvana's “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, would have been totally different if titled, “Sounds like Teen Spirit.” Likewise, the “Smell of Silence” isn't all that catchy. Yet we're simply interchanging to very similar words in the same general category (senses). Explain.
"The Smell of Silence" is a deadly, deadly title. The same can be said for any of the words in those titles. “Smells Like Adolescent Spirit”, “Smells Like Teen Verve”, “Smells the same as Teen Spirit”. None of those work either. Think of how many songs there could be out there that are great songs with crappy titles.

14. What sound creates Pavlovian salivation when you hear it?
Honestly they all have to be in context which removes the Pavlovian aspect of the sounds’ response.

15. What sound makes you want to gouge your eyes out?
An ex-co-op here at the workplace had the whiniest voice. I swear I wanted to just make that noise stop. Oh, and microphone feedback

16. “Blood curdling screams.” Can blood actually curdle?
Not that I know of. It can coagulate, but “curdling” implies “souring” and really blood never goes bad?

17. Which sound is worse to wake to? The unrelenting, piercing electronic wails of an alarm clock after 5 snoozes, or the sound of the garbage truck reminding you that you forgot to take out the trash, and have about 1 minute before you're stuck with a weeks worth of trash on top of the coming weeks
The alarm clock. I can always store the garbage outside to tick off the neighbors.

18. What's your favorite summer sound?
Crickets at night. For some reason I find this soothing.

19. Onomatopoeia, how cool a word is that?
As far as words go, it is up there with squad, pointy, shiny, and Ka-Plow

20. Is there a difference between train horns?
Okay, in my relative inexperience with trains (I am not a railfanner, Little Man is and I try to accommodate that) I have noticed that there are nuances associated with both the make and model of the train as well as the company. For example, there is a difference between the SD40-2’s and the AC4400’s. We rarely see the 4400’s. At the local crossing, Norfolk Southern is the primary rail service, but CSX has a rail there as well. It seems that the NS trains and the CSX trains have different horn sounding regulations. CSX just lays on the horn and doesn’t stop for a long time, while NS goes for a few short bursts. Oh, God! Kill me now….


To recap:
I know way too much about trains for not really liking them that much.
It is hectic here in SRH-ville
I need more PTO
And less orange rice
I am still rather sleep deprived
Not necessarily sleep depraved though
I need to exercise more and sleep more
Guess which one I will attempt to catch up on first
Here is a hint: It doesn’t involve an elliptical

*I wish I could claim that one, but it was an SNL Jack Handy quote.

20 Questions Tuesday: 40 - Sound, part 1

Today’s 20 Questions is all about sound. I figured that it was time to go through the senses. Next week will be about sound part 2 because I got a boat load of questions that need answered from my fine bevy of folk asking questions. I still need a few more for next week, so if anyone wants to step up to the plate, go ahead.

Today’s questions come from ACW, Lord Pithy, Dustin, Dr Clean, and Belsum for your questions. Dr B-Dawg, Wifey, and Jay, I will answer yours next week. Thanks guys, you guys make the blog better.

On to the questions:

1. Can we travel the speed of sound in water? Is there a "speed of sound" in thin atmospheres - like the moon?
Part 1: We have not been able to generate a vehicle that can travel the speed of sound in water. In salt water the speed of sound is even higher so it is even more unlikely to break that barrier as well. (For the actual speeds see Question 3)

Part 2: The issue with thin atmospheres is that sound does not travel far, so it has relatively no speed. In all practical sense there is not any sound in extremely thin atmospheres.

2. What is the speed of sound in water?
Fresh water: 1498 m/s, 3351 mph, Mach 4.5+
Salt water: 1531 m/s, 3425 mph, Mach 4.6+
Assuming near sea level at a constant temperature.

3. What do the voices in your head sound like?
Alvin and the Chipmunks. In my head Theodore is a jerk.

4. Worst sound to hear at 3:30 a.m.
Your kid fall out of bed. Sure this happened at 9:53 last night, but I assume it would sound just as bad at 3:30am.

5. How did Ping-Pong get its name when the sound is clearly Thtock-Thtack?
I have no idea. This really is a conundrum that I had not even remotely thought of before. Before your question I felt that “ping-pong” was a perfectly apt name, but now I find it hard to hear and distasteful to my delicate ears.

6. Best sound: rain falling on a tin roof at night, or: "Time for dinner." Which sound do you find more comforting, rain on a window pane or bacon frying in a pan?
Put them all together and you have heaven.

7. If chocolate were an animal, what sound would it make when wounded?
The sound of stampeding chocoholics. Yes, chocoholics stampede.

8. If a groom-to-be has nightmares about stuffing wedding invitations and whimpers in his sleep and the bride to be hears is, does she smile and chuckle maniacally to herself?
Yes, yes she does. She also uses it against your wussy self later.

9. What is the current ring tone on your cell phone?
It is called “ascending” but not “ass-ending.”

10. What does a Yeti's mating call sound like?
It burns the ears. It burns, it does.

11. When I was little, I'd try and imitate sounds I heard around me (birds, dogs, the ice cream truck, etc.), does Little Man do this?
All the time. He usually begins his imitations with {item} says: and then the sound (with a “long a” not a “short a”, much more of a “sais” than a “says”)
For example: Train sais eeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

12. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
**Slap!** (or if you arte an old skool Chappelle fan, "Slap BISH!")

13. 12" Powered Subwoofer...necessary or just a guy thing?
Women tend to not need to feel the explosions associated with action movies, so I would have to say, “Yup, that is a cool as hell thing that only guys care about.” That being said, this was a gross overgeneralization. I am sure there is an audiophile female out there (audiophilly?) out there that needs to feel the sonic thump.

14. If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there, does it still make a sound? Yes, just because no one is there to experience it does not mean it does not happen. For instance did I have the capacity for a romantic relationship in high school? Yes. Did anyone experience that capacity? No… great now I’m gonna cry…

15. When folks talk about a strange food (snake, croc, etc...) they often say "It tastes like Chicken." Is there a similar quote for sound?
I could not find one. I think it is due to our generalization of tastes and how there really is a finite set of tastes since there is a finite amount of taste receptors on the tongue. Sounds are infinite due to the nature of wavelength and amplitude and stuff.

16. If the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, what starts with a single sound?
A symphony

17. Why is a “sound” also a body of water?
It comes from and Olde English word, “sund” meaning “to swim,” and has nothing to do with the independently derived auditory definitions which hale from the Latin word “sonus.”

18. What classic sci-fi sound do you randomly hear most often in your every day life?
The men’s bathroom downstairs on the other side of the building thrums like the ambient noise in the on station shots for DS-9. Co-worker trekkies, can you back me up on this one?

19. Tone vs Pitch: Can you hear the difference?
At one point I could, now I have difficulty separating silence from noise…. SHUT IT, THEODORE! YOU ARE SUCK A JERK!!!!Editted 12-21-2007: Better version since so many people are coming here for the pic of Theodore.

20. Sound as a pound. What else is sound?
The sleep of a 3.5 year old when you need then awake. Some people’s reasoning is sound. It is difficult to come up with examples because I can always think of exceptions.

Sound as a pound, not like a dollar.


To recap:
The allergies are acting up again
Time to get prescription strength allergy medicine now
Little Man was reacting to something last night and we have no idea what
He had to take the dreaded “pink medicine” or as we refer to it Benadryl
He hates that stuff
But it does make him feel better
He fell out of bed last night
It was scary and took some unconscious effort on his part
I hurts to think that The Chipmunks were based on the theories of Freud
If Dave had had a girl-friend, I am sure that Alvin, Simon, and Theodore would have offed him in his sleep and started dry humping his girlfriend’s leg
Does the above statement make me a bad person?

20 Questions Tuesday: 39 - Colors (part 2)

I was surprised yesterday when I delved into my 20 Questions directory in Outlook yesterday and I did not have enough questions in the cupboard. I thought that I had some questions lying around. I was wrong. I was woefully short on color questions. So thanks this week go to Dustin, Nadolny, Atmikha, Lord Pithy, Ksig, and Wifey.

On to the questions:

1 Why are swear words referred to as "colorful" language? Does that imply that non-swear words are color-less?
I prefer the term “crude” instead of “colorful.” I am not really sure as to why they are referred to as “colorful language, but they sure as heck are. I think it does insinuate that lack of swearing is the equivalent of color-less or dull language. I find this to be in error, because when one does not rely on swear words for their anger the language is typically much more descriptive. Metaphor and hyperbole work much more effective than swearing.

2 How come now one decorates in mauve anymore?
'Cause they shouldn’t have in the first place

3 If Green is the new Black, then what is the new Green?
Oddly it is more green

4 Red Roses or Yellow Tulips?
I like both but find the tulips more pleasing to me.

5 What is the dominant color of your clan's tartan?
Hunter Green

6 Why do you think people have favorite colors?
Why do people have favorite anythings? Color is a very subjective set of ideas. Some find bright vivid colors to be very invigorating and affirming. While others find them garish and overpowering. Taste is in the eye of the beholder.

7 The Color Purple is the first movie I remember with Oprah. I actually liked her in that, but in nothing since. One thing I don’t remember, why the hell was it called The Color Purple?
Honestly, this movie is not my bag. Wifey is all over this book and movie. Word on the street is that purple symbolizes hope.

8 If feeling sad has you singing the blues, and feeling angry has you seeing red, what color is the feeling you get on Friday afternoon?
A happy yellow with splashes of orange highlights.

9 Say the company decides to remodel, and your input is requested as to your future office (not cubicle). What color scheme do you suggest?
Cool kind of sagey cucumbery green and khaki. Then the accent colors in the office could be jewel tones or savory colors. Who did I kill to actually get an office?

10 Black and white or sepia?
Sepia

11 Light red is pink, light yellow is cream, why doesn't light blue have its own word?
Cerulean, but try teaching that one to a 3.6 year old

12 Black and gold, red and silver, French blue and taupe, Sage green and ....what?
Cranberry.

13 If, as Skittles suggests, you can taste the rainbow, what flavors would you ascribe to infra-red and ultra-violet?
Infra-red would have to be peppermint while ultra-violet would be licorice.

14 Cornflower blue?

I know WTF?

15 If you were God of a world, how would you change the current color scheme of nature?
There would be more metallic colors just because I like reflections.

16 Why do humanoid aliens in the original Star Trek universe with different-colored skin have such glossy flesh?
Matte paint is difficult to get out of the pores. Ummm… I mean, “I don’t know.”

17 If oranges were poop-brown, would we have come up with a more creative name? Or would you start each morning with a big glass of poop-brown juice?
Mocha Latte anyone? I would have to say we would not have named the fruit poop-brown, but we would more likely have re-named the color, “poop-brown,” to orange. Then when we had the “oranges” no one would want to know.

18 Black & Tans. Great combination or not enough of either to make you happy?
Oddly a black and tan is the perfect combination.

19 Why is Robin’s Egg Blue and Lime Green the current color scheme (Don’t insult your lovely wife when you answer this)?
There is typically a predominantly blue color scheme that is always in vogue. At one time (80's) kountry blue was quite the rage. Hopefully Robin's Egg will stand the test of time longer.

20 What is your favorite color name for a person?
Blue or Gray although I like Azure as well.

To recap:
Wifey is heading to a conference on Thursday
I will be bacheloringt it until Sunday
With Little Man
On my own
For 3 nights
By myself
I am afraid
I am very afraid

20 Questions Tuesday: 38 - Colors

It is that time of the week again, it is time for 20 Questions Tuesday. Today’s installment is all about color. Color is a electromagnetic phenomena that is absolutely fascinating. People have an emotional reaction to color. People like colors and they hate colors, sometimes for no reason whatsoever other than it feels like they should like or hate a particular hue.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, ACW, Belsum, Peefer, and Bomber.

On to the questions:

1. What is the best color for a toasted marshmallow?
The marshmallow needs to be overall a white color with the edges golden and just the hint of browning on the edges… mmmmmm….

2. Cage match: Bluish green vs. Greenish blue. Who reigns supreme?
Greenish blue.

3. Why is it a good thing for someone's True Colors to shine through?
‘Cause Cyndi Lauper says so?

4. What is your favorite color scheme for a map?
I am really happy with this one,
but as far as favorites go, I don’t really have one. Different color schemes work for different maps for different reasons.

5. Does Little Man have a favorite color?
Not that we know of. So far we have not seen a color that says “train” to him.

6. Really, what is mauve?
It is defined as “a pale bluish purple,” but the results you get with a Google image search vary greatly.

7. I heard that the human eye can differentiate more variations of green than any other color. Is this true?
I have heard that as well. It harkens back to our primal days when we were prey.

8. Ladies wear red to excite and attract the males - to bring notice to themselves in other words. Is this much different than in the animal kingdom where red is used to denote "danger", "I'm poisonous" and "stay away"?
No different at all.

9. Given that certain colors promote increased productivity at work, what colors would you change in your office?
Well, I think I would promote a cool color scheme with sea blues and the like. The drab gray that I am surrounded by right now is conducive to naps, not working.

10. Western society uses black for mourning and white for weddings. Eastern, particularly Indian, uses white for mourning and red for weddings. What other colors make sense to your own internal logic?
Blue = cold
Red = hot

11. Why is purple the color of royalty?
The expense of making it in the middle ages. Red is the color of royalty elsewhere for the same reasons.

12. How many times has your favorite color changed over the years? What was it when you were a kid?
3 colors, it started as a sunny yellow, migrated to an electric blue and has settled into the sage green family.

13. “Red” is often a nickname. Are there any other colors that would make a cool nickname?
Blue or Grey can work, but I am not sure how one would get that nickname.

14. Rainbow suspenders: fess up, did you have them? Did you covet them?
I did not have them, and I did not want them. I had rainbow tabs on my shoulders for one shirt. That’s how I got my “rainbow” on.

15. What is your skin colour in values of 8-bit (0-255) R:G:B ?
R: 200
G: 142
B: 124
Whities are surprisingly darker than they think. I sure was surprised.

16. If you could see the world in only two tones (e.g. black-and-white or shades of sepia
etc.) what two tones would they be?
I would go with sepia. It is just softer on the eyes.

17. What are your preferred screen colours when reading text? Please comment on your blog's adherence to this palette.
As far as screen color go I like dark text on a light background. My favorite would be that light green color that is similar to most accounting ledgers with a deep charcoal for the text color. I am not far off with the white text on a black background. I need to update the template. I am waiting for some other things to fall into place before I make the commitment to change the blogarooney, I will probably try for that text color scheme though…

18. What terminology does your family use when referring to an African-American? For example:
"Hey! Who didn't put a new bottle on the water cooler?!"
"I think it was that new guy."
"Which new guy? They just hired three of them."
"You know, the ____."
This is an interesting question. I would probably say “the black guy.”

19. Do you think that one day all of humankind will be one color?
I think the extremes will start to get more and more muted and/or rare, but I am not sure that genetics would allow for a lack of variety.

20. A recent report by the Oxford Hair Foundation in the UK has caused shockwaves in the Netherlands: redheads, it says, are dying out, and could become extinct as soon as 2060. The two main factors involved in this demise are genetics and migration. The gene that gives rise to red hair - and often pale, freckled skin - is recessive, which means it is easily dominated by genes for other hair colours. So if, for example, you have a brown-haired mother and a red-haired father, you are most likely to have a brown-haired child. So, there's talk recently that within this century, redheads will no longer exist. Your thoughts?
Redheadedness will become rarer and rarer, but will never completely go away. It will be one of those traits that will skip 4 generations and then ‘poof’ red-headed kid. They will then be made emperor of the world.


To recap:
I now am only juggling 4 professional things
By end of business today I will be down to 3
At least, that is the plan
Little Man talks about trains in his sleep
He talks about them in his wakeful hours as well
I guess, the point is, he likes trains
We are going to walk to the tracks to watch one go by this evening after we get home
I owe him that from last night
I need to get cracking on that last bit for today

20 Questions Tuesday: 37- More Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties

Here it is the continuation of last week’s mega-hit topic: 20 Questions Tuesday: 36 - Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. I like to call it 20 Questions Tuesday 37 – More Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. I have a way with words, I know.

Thanks this week go to The Em, JW, Allrileyedup, Atmikha, and Dustin. Honestly folks, I really do owe you for helping me to write 4 times a week. Apologies to Riley and Dustin, whose G-mail emails didn’t make it through for other Tuesdays. Clearly the IT group at my company figured out what was going on and remedied the issue. A hearty thanks to all of you questioners, really, without you guys, there would be a whole lot more posts that were me rambling on about nothing.

On to the questions:

1. What are your thoughts on the Loch Ness Monster? Do you think it exists?
I love the idea of cryptozoologicals and I think that some of them actually do exist. That being said, Loch Ness is not a hospitable place for a large creature. There just is not enough nutrients in the body of water to sustain a large bodied creature and have it not seen more often and properly documented. If it is a carnivore, the fish population is not large enough in the loch to maintain a sustainable population of the creatures (unless one assumes that Nessie is a singular creature that can live forever). If it is a herbivore, the creature would have to forage closer to the shores and therefore be more susceptible to capture due to the lack of flora in the depths of the loch. Alas and alack, I do not think that Nessie is one of the cryptids that exists.

2. If you could be half man/half horse, would you want to be?
Some have already called me a horse’s ass. Does that count? The real answer is and unequivocal, “Hell No!” Wifey don’t like horses and that just wouldn’t work for me.

3. What was the purpose of the Golden Fleece?

Myth: show wealth and power
Reality: There were some ancient cultures in what is now the former Soviet Republic of Georgia that used to do the equivalent of panning for gold with the fleece of a sheep. The gold flecks would settle into the deep wool of the fleece and give the fleece a shimmering golden hue. They did this to make money.

4. Which one strikes more fear in the hearts of men: Cyclops or Minotaur?

I think both would be rather scary beings to behold. Both were basically sequestered in rather remote areas. I would have to go with the Cyclops though, because he was able to roam free on an island, while the minotaur was cooped up in the labrynth.

5. Who was more annoying? Jar-jar Binks (Star Wars), or Falcor (Neverending story)?

Jar-Jar

6. Who would win a fight between Ookla (Thundarr theBarbarian) and Chewbacca (Star Wars)?
Hand to hand? Gonna have to go with Ooklah the Mok on this one. Remember in the opening credits Ooklah is swinging a helicopter around like it is a toy. Chewie ain’t got nothing on that.

From a distance? Chewie and his bowcaster ftw.

7. Is there a mythical creature that an OSU fan can blame for losing to Florida yet again? I believe I would have to go with Gator, and it is unfortunately not mythical for many a Central Ohioan.

8. What is the difference between fairies and faeries?
Spelling. Glibness aside, typically “fairies” are associated with kids’ stories. It is the common name of the “Fair Folk.” Usually when an author uses the “ae” spelling, they are making the group in question a bit more sinister be referring to them as the “Fae” or “Fey” or doomed. It is all about the slant an author is using.

9. Two part question: Part 1: Unicorns--real or not? Extinct? Do you remember the movie, The Last Unicorn? Part 2: Dragons--real or not? Extinct?Do you remember the movie, Flight of Dragons?
Part 1: I do not think that the magical unicorn exists. I do remember the horrid movie. Scarred me as a child, it did. Marred me for life.
Part 2: I think Dragons were more associated with meteorological and geological phenomena than real beasts. When I tornado struck a town in pre-medieval Europe, I am sure it was the work of a dragon. Etc… I do not recall that movie.

10. If there was a Mythical Creature Death Match, who would you like to see duke it out?
Tiamat and Marduk. They are pretty evenly matched.

11. If you were to design a T-shirt for a family reunion, and had to incorporate the ancestral herald of a cockatrice and the family motto "Je n'oublierai pas," What would it look like?
Well, it would have a cocatrice with a befuddled look on its face. A word balloon coming from it saying, “What was I supposed to remember?” and in Gothic block letters underneath would read "Je n'oublierai pas.”

12. If Brad Pitt was a good friend of yours, and you found out that Angelina Jolie is actually a kitsune, would you say anything?
Probably not. No need to incur the wrath of a trixter.

13. Say you somehow fell off of a boat, and Manu saved you from drowning. How would you repay him?
What could little old me give to the descendant of all India? He was already granted a wife, and he ain’t getting Wifey.

14. Evidently, more and more children in Japan are flying around the countryside in the Miyazaki Cat Bus after bedtime, or dangling from Totoros. Why do these forms of aviation have more appeal than, say, a flying carpet, or even just an airplane?
Because anything Hiyoa Miyazaki touches is inherently more whimsically magical than most travel concepts.

15. In the French fairy tale Peau d'Ane, a beautiful girl has to disguise herself as a dirty beast of burden. Pinocchio's friends at Pleasure Island inadvertently become trapped in the same condition by their regressive behavior. Why is it that boys have the power to change their predicaments, but girls always have to wait for True Love?
Because the myth and fairy tale is that for woman, love conquers all. They must be saved due to their inability to save themselves. For myths and legends in general, women and girls are the object of a quest, not the one questing. It is quite unfair, but that is why there is a such a strong young adult section in bookstores now that focuses on young women being the hero. I suggest pretty much anything by Tamora Pierce as an example.

16. Do table fairies really exist?
Nope, someone else ate the doughnut. Not a fairy, someone sitting at the table or in the building when you went to “freshen up.”

17. If said table fairies are real, should I feel wrong for killing them in droves when I was between the ages of 5 and 12 just to spite my grandmother?
You can rest assured, no table fairies were harmed during your pre-teen murderous rages. However, you are the reason there is such a low population of Lares and Penates.

18. What the hell kinda creature is Cupid?
Cupid is a god

19. Santa's elves: slaves or willing helpers?
Slaves. Turns out Santa is an ass

20. What's the difference between Orc, Goblin, and Troll?
Depends on the storyteller. You will have to be more specific in comments. Are we dealing with Middle Earth, are we looking at D&D, are we in Azeroth? You gotta give me more info.


To Recap:
Things are busying up at work currently
Alas, I do not see the trend continuing
Little Man has the memory of an elephant
My left shoulder is killing me
Which is odd since my right shoulder is the bad one
Stupid exercising
Wifey’s blogaversary was April the 5 th
I didn’t do anything for it
She is upset that I didn’t mention that we started dating 12 years ago on Saturday
Sorry, Happy Belated Blogaversary

Oh, and happy 12th Anniversary of our Going Out

20 Questions Tuesday: 36 - Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties

Ah, glorious Tuesdays, where my content is supplemented by others. Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is concerning Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. Oddly enough, so will next week’s 20 Questions Tuesday. I put out the call for questions out yesterday to my typical intrepid questioneers and I have already received 38 questions, with only a few repeats. The repeat questions tend to be about cage matches between beasties or whether I believe the Loch Ness monster really exists (stay tuned).

Anyway, cryptozoological research has always interested me. Even as a child I had a kid’s library devoted to paranormal stuff. A book on the sasquatch, a book about UFO’s, a book about the Loch Ness Monster, etc… (oddly no book about the Yeti… hmmmm….) So this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, Der Kieselbach, Lsig, and J.A.Coppinger.

On to the questions:

1. Is it just me, or do questions about paranormal animals naturally lend themselves to an R-, or even X-rated slant?
It is just you. It is only you, it will only be you. Please stop sending me emails about what you would like to “do” to Bigfoot.

2. If you were going to be abducted by one of the following, which would you choose, and why: Mothman, Bigfoot, Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers, he makes some good chicken fingers.

3. Should Cryptozoology be offered as a legitimate major, complete with doctorates and stuff? (Yes, "stuff"!)
I think it should be classified as a minor. Biology should be the doctoral program or maybe veterinary science or zoology. I would be hard pressed to base a PhD program on information that is completely unsubstantiated and, by definition, improvable. Then again, one can get their doctorate in economics.

4. Nessie: surviving dinosaur, giant eel, mass hallucination, errant Macy's Day float?
Nessie sightings have been going on for far longer than Macy’s Department stores have existed, so it would be difficult to make the case that it is an errant float, unless, you take into account time travel and the paradoxes that ensue do to temporal distortion. All in all, I would have to go with, if Nessie does in fact exist, a plesiosaur.

5. Which paranormal creature would make the best pet? Why? And would you buy it at Petland or go to a breeder?
Blink Cat. Just like a regular cat except it can teleport short distances. I think I would have to go to a breeder.

6. Better flying animal: Pegasus, the Luck Dragon in Never-ending Story, or Donkey from Shrek?
Luck Dragon, his flight is powered by magic, not wings or extra pixy dust.

7. Since Cerberus has three heads, would they each fight over the same piece of food even though it goes to the same place?
Eating is not just about sustenance. All three of the heads want to enjoy the sensation of eating. That is what the fighting is all about, the thrill of consuming, not the satiation of hunger.

8. Who would win a starring contest: Medusa or a Basilisk?
Both would lose, but the pigeons would love the statuary.

9. Loch Ness real or mythical?
Loch Ness is a real place that exists in Scotland. Does it have a monster lurking in its murky depths? Different question entirely.

10. Why does it seem that most "mythological" creatures are spotted by the same people you see on the news describing what the tornado sounded like as it hit their trailer?
This is a bit of a mis-conception. Most people associated with sightings are either well educated people or local indigenous populations. Honestly, that is the only reason that these stories have been sustainable. If the only people who reported sightings and interactions were the un-educated and unintelligent, the stories would be summarily dismissed. The fact is that you have British Military sighting the Yeti in Nepal. It is only when you start to get into the lore and custom surrounding certain cryptids and mythologicals that you start to hear about “old wives’ tales” and other superstitious claptrap.

Plus, you know, tornadoes hitting trailers is really scary stuff. You might not be at your best if that just happened to you.

11. Describe, if you will, a hippogriff and where one finds such a beast.
Hippogriff: Head, chest, front legs and wings of an eagle with the rear half of a lion. You can find them in most Alliance cities, towns, and outposts and some neutral cities. There are some “wild” ones in the Hillsbrad area just to the northeast of Durnhold Keep.

12. Why do leprechauns leave their gold lying around, anyway? Carelessness? Lack of 401k plans? Why?
My bet is that it is complete overconfidence in their abilities.

13. Two enter, one leaves: who wins a basilisk vs. wendigo cage match?
I have to side with the basilisk on this one. The big “power” of a wendigo is to eat people. Seeing as how basilisks are not people…

14. How is the yeti, anyway?
I assume he is doing okay. I contacted him to ask questions for this set of 20 Questions Tuesday, but I have not heard back from him yet. My bet is that the satellite uplink for his internet connection is spotty from where he is in the Himalayas.

15. Are unicorns actually good for anything besides adorning the shiny stickers and Trapper Keepers of pre-adolescent girls?
Other than making sparkily glue? Nope. They are just window dressing for 12 year old girls.

16. Succubi – Let’s be serious, is there really a man on the planet who’d try to drive one off?
A good bit of men wouldn’t want to die while having sex with a demon. I, for one, am not interested in an anonymous romp with a supernatural demon who wants to claim my soul with her sexual death embrace. Nope, doesn’t sound like a good time to me. Plus I think you are forgetting that whole 9 to 12% of the male population that is not enticeable by demon boobies. It is offset by the 9 to 12% of the female population that is.

17. You get to be any mythological god/deity you want to be. Who do you choose?
Well, definitely not any of the Norse/Germanic deities. They all bite it in the end. Hmmmm… I am not sure what deity. Maybe you guys should suggest which one I would be best at. (Note: I exclude myself from being Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess, so you cannot suggest that as the deity of my choice. Lord Pithy, who oh so often comments as “anonymous,” I’m looking at you.)

18. Barring Yeti, who’s the coolest monster of all time?
Why the Vampire Bear, of course. The Vampire Bear is the definition of B.A.D.A.S.S.

19. Why does America have so few monsters? Cuz we’re young, or just lame?
America has a few monsters to deal with. The sasquatch and wendigo are purely native American in origin. There are a few sightings of lake monsters here and there as well. There is the Nain Rouge for Detroit, Michigan, the Jersey Devil, etc… We have our fair share, they just are not as well known as the big named ones.

20. Why are vampires afraid of garlic?
If I remember correctly, most pungent odors would really ward off a Vampire. Supposedly, they scent the exquisitely rusty aroma of a mortal’s life blood… the intoxicating allure of the tangy sickly sweet scent wafting from prey… ummm.. where was I? Oh, yes, vampires do not so much dislike the smell of garlic as much as the strength of the garlic smell over-rides their blood tracking abilities… or so I have read… yes… read.


To recap:
I have found that parenting via the Monty Python method is very effective
If anyone wants to be added to the usual weekly call for questions, please feel free to leave a comment with your email address
Just spell out the email address so the spambots don’t get you
For example gibber AT businessname Dot com
Don’t forget to tell me what god you see me as, since I could not answer Question 17
Trying some pouch cooking for dinner with the boy
A little potatoes, a little beef, some vegetables
Ought to be really nice
He liked the crunchy meatballs last night
Making a menu is a good thing
I ran myself into the ground last night on the elliptical
I am paying for it today
Stupid elliptical!

20 Questions Tuesday: 35 - Letters

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is about the varied and interesting topic of “Letters.” Now, there are many kinds of letters that people refer to all the time. There are the letters that make up the alphabet, there are letters that are pen and paper missives from long lost friends and family, there are the letters that are found at the end of people’s names that signify educational and professional standing. Basically, the topic of letters is a very open ended one. That is how I like my topics to be.

Thanks this week go to the ever present Lord Pithy, the succinct Kim, the un-flappable Dr B-Dawg, the phasers set to deep fry Belsum, the word-mistress Bomber, and the typically just under the wire JW.

On to the Questions.

1. What was the foulest message you ever received from your Alpha-Bits cereal or alphabet soup?
Cereal: You need to pray more you heathen
Do you think God was trying to say something? The randomness is stunning really. I mean what is the possibility of all those words being spelled correctly and having the appropriate spaces and all?
Soup: Do not listen to the cereal – Beelzebub
And to think both these sentences came up in the same day. What a co-inky-dink

2. What's your opinion on the new Forever Stamp?
I love it. I feel like I would like to buy them in bulk, but alas and alack, I am too poor.

3. After "YMCA," what is the best song that is spelled?
S-S-S-S-A-A-A-A-F-F-F-F-T-T-T-T-Y-Y-Y-Y D-D-D-D-A-A-A-A-N-N-N-N-C-C-C-C-E-E-E-E. Sure it is not consistently spelled through out the song, but I like it none-the-less. Better than M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E in the Hall and Oats classic Method of Modern Love. Although now that I think about it, I want to change my answer to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha Franklin kicks major ass.

4. When was the last time someone spelled something around you so you wouldn't know what was being said? What was being said?
Are you kidding me? Wifey still spells things around me.

5. Did you "letter" in any high school sports?
Soccer.

6. Is English the only language that prides itself on having no two letter members as part of its elite 26?
The English language is curiously devoid of double letter symbols such as “æ.” I think in general English has a thing against diphthongs.

7. How long can you handwrite a letter before your hand fatigues and you can no longer write? I used to be able to write pages endlessly - now - 5 sentences.
I can actually make it about a page before the hand starts to protest, and three if I push through the “pain.” Is it legible? That is a different question.

8. If 1 is the loneliest number - is Q the most obsessive and clingy letter around in that it needs to have U around all the time or are Q and U a happy couple?
Q is most definitely codependent, and I think U is at fault for enabling. I thought it was a great that Q struck it out on its own when it helped make Iraq. Too bad about the outcome there…

9. Native speakers of other languages always boast that their language has words/phrases that couldn't possibly be translated and have the same meaning because they are so complicated or convey a feeling that English can't express..... - is this just sour grapes because they haven't been able to add a new word to their lexicon in the last 50years that didn't sound English or is there really something to it?
The French are still smarting about the whole “Samedi et Dimanche” being shortened to “le weekend,” and I found it interesting that at the bilingual wedding this weekend when the Japanese was interspersed with words like “communication.” There is no idiom in Japanese for “communication?” Really? I go with sour grapes.

10. Is cursive about dead? It is faster than printing and definitely the style for marathon writing for its ease but, again, who handwrites anything of length anymore. It seems to be joining the ranks of calligraphy in being pretty but utterly useless.
Cursive is definitely dying. So is block printing. It looks like grade schools are starting to teach a script writing style. It is kind of a hybrid between full on cursive and block letters.

11. If you could obtain another degree, frivolous or practical, what would you choose?
Black Belt

12. Do you still write letters or do you only send e-mail?
Pretty much all electronic these days. I have though about writing something out and scanning it in as a .pdf, you know, as a personal touch.

13. Best letter you've ever received?
The first summer that Wifey and I dated was a long distance relationship. We actually sent each other letters. It was very sweet.

14. "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me." How about you?
Abso-frikkin-lutely

15. X is for...?
I don’t know what it is for, but it most definitely marks the spot.

16. In keeping with your alphabet theme, what is your favorite letter of ANY Alphabet?
I like the Hebrew “aleph,” א It is the cardinality of the rational numbers.

17. What was the subject of the WORST letter you've received?
Hmmm... the subject? It was a grade for a class I needed to graduate

18. What were Letterman's super powers? His weaknesses?

Faster than a rolling 'O'
Stronger than silent 'E'
Able to leap capital 'T' in a single bound!
It's a word, it’s a plan...it's Letterman!

As I recall, he really didn’t have a weakness, but his whole shtick, and therefore his strength was to add a letter to a word and to make it into something else.

19. Quick! Name three songs that have something to do with writing someone a letter.
The Police – Message in a Bottle
There’s that Eminem song about the obsessed fan that goes mental, called Stan. (I had to look that one up)
And I am drawing a blank for a third, a little help?

20. Do they still make Alpha-bits cereal?
Yup

To recap:
Had Little Man’s parent/teacher conference today
Little Man is doing well
I guess if I want more comments, I should post more contraversial topics

I haven't had 11 comments for a long time

I am getting close to needing another haircut
Hear that, JW? You will be getting an email soon
Saw that Little Man did a family portrait at preschool
Little Man is a stick figure
Wifey is a stick figure
I am a round shape with sticks for arms and legs
This pushing myself at the gym is killing me
By “killing me” I mean making my weak little muscles sore
But it looks like Little Man thinks I am Fatty McFatterson
So I guess I need to work out more
I am “in the barrel,” so to speak
There are worse places to be

20 Questions Tuesday: 34 - Perception

It is that time of the week again. That’s right, it is 20 Questions Tuesday time, well not "Time," that was last week and the week before. Many of the questions I received about “Time” ended up being more about “perception,” so the idea for today’s topic was born. Many have said that possession (not the demonic kind) is 9/10ths of the law. If that is truly the case, then perception is 9/10ths or reality (not realty, turns out that perception is only 1/22nd of realty, who would have thought?). So today’s topic is very relative. It really depends upon people’s point of view. Here we go with the 5th dimension: Perception.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, ACW, J.A.Coppinger, Peefer, and JW. On to the questions!

1. Does it matter if the glass is half full or half empty if there's a waiter standing nearby?
Only if they respond to a snap of the fingers and a bellow of “Garçon?”

2. How many wrongs will make a right?
22 1/2. It is the half wrong that is the bugger, and you have to do 22 full wrongs in a row, and then the half wrong. It is just how it works. Might as well do the right, don’t ya think?

3. I would rather be lucky than skilled. What would you rather be?
Lucky, most definitely lucky.

4. Given it can't be your brain in the pan, who's dream would you want to be a part of?
Honestly, I am probably part of many people’s dreams but they either don’t know me, or they don’t want to tell me.

5. Why are pessimists attributed with the saying "the glass is half empty" and not "Fuck it - the world's going to end anyway"?
I think that is how the hedonists look at it, not the pessimists.

6. Why is it that 60°F (15.56°C or 288.71K) in the Autumn is chilly and in the Spring its considered warm?
Perception.




Okay, I kid, but not really. It has to do with the direction and magnitude of the temperature change. When the body is used to a certain temperature a 10° F swing in either direction is going to be noticeable. If it is -20° F (-28.89°C or 244.26K) outside and then warms up to 14°F (-10°C or 263.15K), 14°F feels like an absolutely balmy and warm day.

7. How is it that we can identify the idiots, yet the idiots are oblivious to their own existence? Don't they look in the mirror?
I once read somewhere (I forget where) that 75 to 80% of people think that they are smarter than the average person. This, of course, is statistically impossible. Stupid people don’t know they are stupid. Idiotic people don’t know they are idiots, but the smart folk are well aware of their smarts.

8. What is the most ridiculous popular perception you can think of?
That I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is butter. Come on people! “It’s Not Butter” is in the name!

9. How do you think strangers perceive you?
Well, old folk are scared of me for some reason (especially when I am driving in a parking lot), so I would have to go with scary. I am interested in what others think though, so please comment away. You guys are probably stranger than most.

10. What was your most mistaken perception from when you were a kid?
Girls are icky.

11. What do you perceive as the most important thing needed for a happy life?
A strong sense of self. I don’t necessarily think that it will; bring you happiness by itself, but I think it is the foundation upon which happiness is built.

12. Is perception the cause of the “Age Gap” or are we just becoming cranky old farts?
These are not mutually exclusive categories. The age gap can exist without cranky old farts, and cranky old farts can exist without an age gap.

13. When I perceive blue and you perceive blue, are we seeing the same blue? Maybe your blue is my fuchsia.
We are most likely Not seeing the exact same hue of blue because of differences in our optical abilities. But I would most likely think that with the homogenization of world culture, that the concept of blue is becoming more uniform. Now my blue might be someone else’s turquoise or periwinkle, but fuchsia is a bit of a stretch. Now there is such a thing as blue/green color vision deficiency, so that might be an issue as well, but blue/fuchsia is a bit of a stretch.

14. What is the smallest thing you are aware of ever having seen without the use of an optical aid? With the use of an optical aid?
Hmmm… I believe I have seen a generic mote with un-aided vision, and the smallest thing I can think of that I have seen with a microscope is an amoeba.

15. What would it be like to live without depth perception.
Painful and Bruisey

16. What is the maximum number of small pet dogs (e.g. terriers) you think you could have without them being a severe detriment to the quality of your life?
1

17. What was your perception of question number 16?
It was a well phrased question, but lacking in background research. Had the questioner dug even remotely into my past, the questioner would have realized my dislike of canines.

18. Please attempt to explain to me why, no matter what, my wife and I will generally tend to perceive the EXACT same thing completely differently?
Well, sir, that is because your views of the events are wrong. It is easier when you just accept that.

19. Do you feel there is any likelihood that some or any of us possess the latent (or not so latent) ability of Extra Sensory Perception?
There is an amazing amount of the brain that we just do not use. I can only imagine that some of it would lead to more than typical perception. I have already remarked about my amazing déjà vu abilities.

20. Just how does women's intuition work?
Just like a man’s “Gut Instinct.” It sounds better though.

To recap:
The mass on Wifey’s liver is a Focal Nodular Hyperplasia
She goes into more depth here
Let me just say that grape sized tumors are nothing, walnut sized tumors are for schmucks, golf ball sized tumors make me laugh.
Now, a golf ball and a half – that’s a tumor
Papa’s in the barrel right now
Little Man loves him some Papa
It’s sweet – and suffocating
WV Slim, all of your questions were, I believe, about “conception”
I will answer them here: 1. Do you think God makes babies, or is it more likely that the guy just didn't pull out in time? 2. Do you believe that Mary was a virgin? 3. My mom once told me a could still get pregnant with my underwear on. To this day I am still confused by this. Can you shed some light on it? 4. Is jumping up and down an effective form of birth control?
1. Ummm… Pulling out is not an effective method of birth control. That and the rhythm method are colloquially referred to as “pregnant” 2. Not when I met her. We are talking about the same “Mary,” right? 3. I believe she didn’t want you to be doing ANYTHING sexual EVER. Parents are naïve like that (isn’t that right ACW?). That is how I read that one. 4. Nope
Thanks for sending questions though
24 questions for the price of 20
You guys got a bargain
Sloppy Joe’s aren’t’ nearly as good on night three
The word of the day today is proprioceptive
I have really small weak muscles that protest when I use them
I increased my workout all around last night
I balanced that out with a Vanilla Frosty
I am sore today
Not because of the Vanilla Frosty
There is nothing wrong with the Vanilla Frosty
Nothing
Nothing!
NOTHING!

20 Questions Tuesday: 33 -Time (part 2)

Here we go again. Time is the topic for today, again. Thanks this week goes to Belsum, JW, Bomber, Atmikha, and Wifey.

To the questions:

1. Which incarnation is your favorite Time Lord?
I have never been much of a Dr Who fan. I just couldn’t get into it. The most current version seems the best as far as special effects. So far I like this guy’s version of the Who franchise.

2. How often do you test out 88.5 mph—just in case?
If I owned a Delorian, I would so drive 88.5 all the time. Mainly so I could go back to 1962 and where my mother would hit on me and I’d have to engage in hilarious shenanigans to get my parents back together. And I would also go back to 1964 to keep my mom from shagging that yeti.

3. “Timeline? This is no time to talk about time. We don't have the time!... What was I saying?” - How awesome is drunk Deanna Troi?
Ah, Deanna Troi, a character that they really did not know how to use. “I am sensing pain… great pain!” Thanks a bunch, Troi! Do you think you could sense something useful?

4. I think that the protagonist in The Time Machine is a friggin idiot for testing out his vehicle and not bringing supplies. Hell, he didn’t even pack a sandwich! What are the minimally required items for the intrepid traveler?
I would want a weeks worth of food, some clean underwear, a firearm of some form, cheez-its (for currency), some beer (also for currency), a small commando force, enough Mt Dew to drown a rhino (not for currency), and definitely a towel.

5. Past or Future? What era? Why?
I think future because there would be more acceptance of Little Man’s biracialness (biracialosity? biracialicality?) due to more interracial unions.

6. Please do your best to explain the scientific reasons why children are like black holes in terms of time?
There is no acceptable scientific reason. It all boils down to perception and basic need. It seems that they need all the time, and they need a whole bunch. I once heard it explained thusly, children can take as much as you can give them and always want more. It is up to the parent to determine what the child really needs and then set boundaries. That my friend, is what parenting is all about… and if you believe that load of hooey, I have a bridge to sell you.

7. Time seems to zoom by more quickly the older you get. Discuss amongst yourself.
Again, this is a perception issue more than a time issue. Let’s think of it purely as a form of percentages. 1 year to a 5 year old is 20% of their life, while 1 year to a 30 year old is only 3.33%. 3.33% happens much faster than 20% even though it is the same amount of “time.” This can be said for all increments.

8. Time zooms by doubly fast once you have children (except for the long nights when your child is ill, of course). It makes me quite sad because you want to freeze and cherish every moment. You're a proud papa, your thoughts?
Time flashes by because it is pretty much an overload of sensory input. You cannot soak up every detail. I have started trying to focus on some small details as a kind of mnemonic device. If I can recall Little Man’s hand holding my finger, I can bring up a bunch of the other input from the time.

Also, for the record, I am not a proud man. Pride cometh before the fall, and all that crap. In truth, Wifey beat the proud out of me years and years ago.

9. Is Time really on your side?
Nope, Time got picked first, and I got picked last. What the team captains did not know is that I am better at kick-ball than Time.

10. Favorite song with the word "time" in the title or lyrics? Double bonus points if it's an 80s song.
Anthrax’s “Time,” better than the Joe Jackson original, but I really dig covers.

11. Dorothy Parker said that the definition of eternity is "two people and a ham." Would you agree or disagree?
I would disagree.

12. A lot of Science Fiction/Fantasy plots involve travel into other dimensions or realities, however when the hero returns, no time has passed in the "true" reality. Why is that? If you were a 32 year old king in Narnia, wouldn't waking up tomorrow in your 12 year old life be a royal drag?
Honestly, with how much I hated High School, I would absolutely abhor going back in time to when I was 12. Add onto that that I had been royalty for about 20 years and the pain would only be that much greater.

13. Is it possible to make time your friend if you consistently try to beat it every morning on the way to work?
I try to flow with time, not beat it into submission. Even though time is not on my side (Question 9) we are still friends.

14. In Greek mythology, Chronus, or Time, eats his children so they won't grow up to usurp him. Later Zeus, the sky-god sets his siblings free and replaces them with rocks in their father's guts. Which kill him, of course. What are the Greeks trying to say with that bizarre and grisly tale?
The Greeks had some really whacked out views about parenting. It seems that they thought all children were going to try and kill their parents and the best way of combating this is to devour the children when they are mere babes or exposing them to the elements. In many instances it did not work out all that well.

15. Really, what the hell is that about?
Greeks like eating babies.

16. Why does everything make me sleepy today? I'm afraid I'm not too good at this. Feel free to use or not use any/all of the above. My brain is searching for a nap.
Napping is a wonderful thing, time makes one sleepy. I know I am in the midst of time right now, and in the need of a nap.

17. “What’s the time? It’s time to get ill.” Huh? What were the Beastie Boys saying with this?
I believe they were alluding to the fact that their beats were fresh dope, yo!

18. What is your best time of day? Worst?
I am at my best creatively and cognitively between the hours of 10 pm and 1 am. That is when I am “on game,” so to speak. I am not really in the game early mornings.

19. If you were in one of those sensory deprivation rooms, how would you try to keep track of time?
I wouldn’t. I would be asleep, and during the conscious periods of time I would have the Police’s De Do Do Do De Da Da Da Da running through my head on loop.

20. What’s the longest time you have ever spent playing a computer game – straight through, without breaks?
Ah, Sid Meier’s Civilization II, I remember you well. Okay, I am not considering bathroom breaks and/or grabbing food breaks (chipping in so a friend’s brother would pick up some pizza) as they are less than five minutes in duration. 17.5 hours…. I quit early


To recap:
Next week’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about perception
Funny thing about time, I spent too much on this post
Formatting these 20 Questions Tuesday posts is a time consuming process
Little Man and I are going for a walk this evening
Whether he wants to or not
That is just how it is going to be
I will drag his little butt around the block if I have to
It is 74 º F today
That is 23-24 ºC for you metric folks
296.4833 K for the physicists out there
I think the temp change led to the migraine yesterday
Stupid migraine
Not sure what we will have for dinner, but we might walk to get it

20 Questions Tuesday: 32 - Time

It looks like there are enough questions about time to carry this topic over for another week. Time is a fickle beast that is very much connected to our perception of it. Many feel that it is the fourth dimension, some think there is a physical essence to it, most people just think there is not enough of it. Thanks this week go to the Info Diva, ACW, Lsig, J.A.Coppinger, and Dr Civil.

On to the questions:
1. Daylight Savings Time is this weekend. Will computers will ready for the change or will the time display be wrong?
Computers have dealt with DST for quite a while now, so I do not foresee it being a problem. You might need to restart the machine to have the clock reset though. The same is true for cell phones. If your phones or PC’s do not update with DST (if this is instituted in your area or the world) restart them and let the clocks re-initialize.

2. Time heals all wounds. Your thoughts.
Sure, why not? In all “seriousness” though, given an adequate amount of time most wounds will heal to a certain point. Sometimes damage is bad enough that even in a “healed” state it is not like it was prior to the injury.

3. Time-outs. Does this parenting technique really work?
This method can work for some kids, just not all. Much like everything else associated with the rearin’ of younguns, what is best for some is worst for others.

4. Do you hold any credence to the theory that time will end on 12/21/2012?
Not even a little bit. Our time and dating system is pretty arbitrary. Sure that is supposedly when the Mayan calendar stops, but how many digits of PI are there? I assume they were going to update the calendar later but just never got around to it. Granted there is the whole crossing the galactic equator, blah, blah, blah, Earth’s moon at it’s closest perigee, blah, blah, blah, celestial doom, blah, blah, blah, but really I think it is merely about waiting till later to fill out the rest of the calendar. I know I haven’t filled out my Outlook calendar for more than 3 weeks ahead (if that), but I don’t expect others to think that the world will end on 27 March 2007 because of that.

5. Will Morris Day and the Time cease to exist?
Never

6. The villain in Star Trek Generations said, "Time is the fire in which we burn." Agree or disagree?
I tend to agree. If cellular decay and radioactive decay can be determined using increments of time and considered to be fire, then sure, why not? Really, it is difficult not to agree with Malcom McDowell.

7. Which would you prefer- unlimited free time or unlimited funds?
Unlimited funds can create unlimited free time.

8. They've changed Daylight Savings Time- do you care?
I would rather DST not exist. It is a throw-back to the US’s agrarian roots that is unnecessary in today’s economy. Farmers will get up when they need to get up regardless of what the clock says.

9. Is not giving someone the time of day really that awful?
Someone should have their own means of telling the time, a chronological time clock, if you will. That being said, it is not a remarkable inconvenience for me to tell someone what time it is, ‘cause it is always Hammertime for SRH!

10. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” (Douglas Adams) Your thoughts?
True enough. “Time” is elusive, so that would make it seem illusionary, and eating an illusion is silly, so Adams is right on the mark here.

11. “Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely” (Rodin) What was the most wisely used moment of your life?
My proposal to Wifey . Why is that blind sculptor blathering on about time anyway?

12. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” (Wil Rogers) What one deadline in your regular life truly ticks you off?
Work stuff. It is not going to be the end of the world if the graphics for this report are 1 day late for the culmination of a 7+ year study.

13. “Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.” (Max Frisch) If you could redo one hour of your life over, when would it be?
Little Man’s birth. In truth, I wouldn’t change much of Little Man's delivery. There is some information I would impart to Wifey about this particular delivery process that could have made it smoother and less injurious, but I really would not change much in that hour. I would redo that particular hour to more studiously remember every detail I could.

14. “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If you had no time constraints at all, what would you do on your “perfect” day?
Play with Little Man and Wifey, get a bit of World of Warcraft time in, draw some, and watch a good soccer game.

15. Can you really "save time in a bottle?" If so, what kind of bottle would it need to be?
Yes, but it needs to be a Klein Bottle. As soon as you can manufacture one of those babies, you are set to bottle time.

16. Why does it take longer to drive back from someplace than to it?
That is not so much a time issue as much as a perception issue. Those questions will be for later. Also, it depends on the destinations. If you are going predominantly downhill on the way to the destination, the return trip will possibly take longer.

17. What would be the coolest way to create a rip in the "space/time continuum?"
Hmmmm… using a Sponge Bob Squarepants Toddler cup. The Space/Time continuum never saw it coming.

18. Ecclesiastes said

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

WTF was he really saying? Did you think it was just a song?
Oooh, biblical from Dr Civil. Will wonders ever cease? I think what the author was trying to get at was that time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future, I want to fly like an eagleto the sea. Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle ‘till I'm free. Oh, Lord, through the revolution feed the babies, w o don't have enough to eat, shoe the children with no shoes on their feet, house the people livin' in the street. Oh, oh, there's a solution.

Where was I? Oh yes, answering questions. Dit dah dit, doo doo doo doo

19. Do you think that Mark Twain was right when he refuted the age old saying that "Time and tide wait for no man" by saying "A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide."
Personally, I know I don’t wait for time or tide, time and tide wait for me… ‘cause I am slow. Langhorn might have been onto something with his electric wires and water-ballast except for the fact that electric wires and ballast really only have a localized effect.

20. Do you believe that "Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock" or is it all just a bunch of damn Hallmark card drivel?
Hallmark drivel at its finest. Lovers’ moments don’t last for eternity, conversations about taking out the trash, or leaving the toilet seat up take eternity, or making your wife talk to your parents. Sweet, Jebus, you pray for the tick of a clock during those eternities. At least then you know that time has not come to a complete standstill. Ummm… I mean, love ya honey.

To recap:
I got 12 questions waiting in the wings, and that is without the physics Phd speaking up
I will have 20 questions by next week
As GOD as my witness, I will have 20 questions by next Tuesday!
I am hungry
And I am tired
Both at the same time
I know, that is an odd combination for me
Usually I am tired AND hungry, not vice versa
Glad I clarified that
I like clarified butter on crab legs
Mmmmmm crab
I am really hungry

20 Questions Tuesday: 31 - 80's Music

Ah, sweet memories. Yesterday’s post made me think that I should do a 20 Questions revolving around 80’s music. I love me some 80’s music, but who doesn’t like 80’s music. Anyway… Thanks this week to Lsig, JW, ACW, Lord Pithy, and Wifey for questions today.

On to the questions!

1 Two bands enter, one band leaves...who've you got in a Bangles vs. The Go-Gos cage match?
Go-Gos all the way. The Bangles were never a punk band. ‘Nuff said…. Although, I am pretty sure that Joan Jett could have taken out all 9 of them single handedly (and by that I mean with one hand tied behind her back). She is some ass bad stuff!

2 Was Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" album really as good as I remember it being?
No, no it was not. I never understood the mass appeal of this album or of the band. They were okay, but never that good.

3 Does anyone rival Lionel Richie as the preeminent baladeer of the 80s?
I don’t think so, but Mr. Richie is not someone that I am abundantly knowledgeable about so I will turn this question over to Wifey for final answer. Wifey?

That’s an interesting question. I will firstly admit my bias in that I am a huge Lionel Richie fan; therefore, my stance is that no one ever, in the history of the world is as good at balladeering as Mr. Richie.

That being said, Kenny Rogers did give him a run for his money. If you’ll recall , Lionel wrote Kenny’s big hit, “Lady” and they went on to collaborate a bit.

So in fact, Lionel was responsible for Kenny’s success as a soft sounds crooner, thereby remaining the penultimate love song maverick of the decade.

Thank you, Wifey.

4 The 80s was the era of Michael Jackson as an actual pop musician. What the heck happened?
The whole of the Jackson family is damaged goods. Many people forget that Latoya is also part of the fam. Who knew that MJ was destined to go nuts? I certainly didn’t.

5 So, Madonna. What accounts for her transformation from 80s pop-tart to enduring musical icon? Why her and not...a dozen other chicks from back then?
Madonna, above all else, is a brilliant business person/marketer. She was able to capitalize on trends and re-invent herself in the most opportune moments. She was able to take the slightly passé trends of the avant guard and turn them into pop culture trends for the masses (Like Vogue). Other female musicians of the era, were not as savvy as Madonna and relied almost solely on their musical talents. Many of them still have quite a following and many of them are still producing very high quality music, but none of them became as iconic.

6 Did video REALLY kill the radio star?
Sadly, yes, the Buggles were on to something. Radio was always the medium for talent. It did not matter what that talent looked like. Even today, many a DJ is not a pretty face. Videos almost required the talent to look good too. There are boat lodes of not pretty talented people out there who just aren’t pretty. They will be relegated to the land of “studio singers.”

7 Who's hotter? the go-go's Belinda Carlisle, or the Bangles' Susanna Hoffs?
I am a Belinda fan although Hoffs ain’t no slouch.

8 Who was your favorite "Big Hair Metal" band? (Not that it makes any difference, cuz RATT was the GREATEST!!!)
I could go Round and Round about this all day with many different people. I am going to go with Anthrax.

9 How on earth did Menudo warrant their television program's airing here in the states?
I don’t know. I could see their show making it here today because there is more recognition amongst the TV scheduling people that there is more than a white demographic, but in the 80’s , I just don’t get it.

10 Where is Thomas Dolby?
Looking at his site? I would say California.

11 Why are the 80's the decade of the greatest music known to man?
This is a question that I often ask myself when I can’t sleep. What people think of when they think of 80’s music is the fun associated with that music. People also only remember the good music from the 80’s as well. There was some crap made in the 80’s, but nostalgia stations don’t play that crap.

12 What happened to Tawny Kitaen? She had sooo much promise (especially as the Future Mrs ACW)?
She’s in rehab…

13 Besides Men at Work - what other group are you embarrassed to have enjoyed? Loverboy? Duran Duran? Wham!? Missing Persons? Bow Wow Wow? Dio? Judas Priest? Cyndi Lauper? Christopher Cross? Flock of Seagulls? Human League? Cars? J. Geils Band? White Snake? White Lion? Great White? OMD? The Smiths? Husker Du?...
I think I have to go with Billy Idol. I love me some Vital Idol!

14 Do you have fond memories of going to the corner music store, browsing the rows upon rows of album, looking for the special import (you know the one with the colored vinyl)? Ah, Heaven...
I remember going to Turtles Records and Tapes with my brother while my mom did some at the Woolco and leafing through the 45’s. The first 45 he bought with his own money was Queen’s Another one Bites the Dust. We listened to that song over and over and over again. Good times indeed.

15 Describe the setting (where you were, who you were with, how many law enforcement officers were curently looking for you), the first time you heard "It's Raining Men."
I was sitting in a car with my brother, my uncle and 2 dozen puppies. We had just killed a snoring security guard so the puppies could have something to eat. It was a seven state manhunt involving the FBI, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, and Connecticut.

16 Tiiiiiiiiiiiiin roof?
Rusted

17 Aside from Swing, has there ever been a decade of happier music than the 80s?
I really don’t think so.

18 Describe your ideal 80s cover. (For instance, Anna Nicole singing "Take On Me.")
Hmmmm… I would love to hear the Cure’s Killing an Arab done by the newly re-united Rage Against the Machine. It is a political enough song that it could be in the realm of possibility. The absolutely ludicrous cover would be RATM covering the B-52’s Rock Lobster. Can you imagine Zach de la Rocha belting out:

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Oh that is the stuff dreams are made of.

19 Who was hotter and wore trash better: Pat Benatar in "We Are Young" or Cyndi Lauper in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"?
Benatar wore it better, because that was not her “typical” look.

20. Did anyone every actually “park on the dance floor” or was Midnight Star simply making a pre-emptive public service announcement?
I believe, as this picture illustrates, someone, indeed, did park on the dance floor. Oddly enough, if my eyes do not decieve me, it was Midnight Star.


To recap:
I am jonesing for some 80’s music now
What’s you favorite color, baby?
Living Colour!
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know what the city is getting
The crème de la crème of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner
Anything U2
Actually, RATM covering some U2 would be nice as well
I have Johnny Cash’s version of U2’s One, that is a pretty good cover too
Johnny Cash would not be good at a Cover 2 though
That’s a zone defense for American football, and well, Johnny Cash is dead