20 Questions Tuesday: 109 - Excuses Excuses

It seems that lately (for the past 34 years or so) I have been bandying about all these different excuses for stuff. I am trying to put some of that behavior behind me… if I have time.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, John P., JA Coppinger, Capt. McArmpants, Nadolny, and All Rileyed Up. Sorry about the answers this week, I wasn’t able to focus on them like I would like to because of stuff and things and such.

On to the Questions:
1. Do dogs actually eat homework? Did the dog ever eat your homework?
I have never actually heard of a dog eating homework spontaneously. Homework slathered in peanut butter or wrapping up a steak, maybe… but just raw homework? I don’t think so. Since I had cats growing up, this was not one of the options for me.

2. Is "because I don't feel like it" and excuse or just a simple truth? What percentage of the excuses you offer really come down to: "I just did not care that much".
There is a subtle but real difference between an excuse and a reason. An excuse is a hurdle that could be overcome, but a reason is a different beast entirely.

3. Which is it easier to find an excuse for- not exercising or not doing housework?
Not exercising. Everything is easier to not exercising.

4. Can you justify this sorry excuse for a blog topic?
Yes, it is no better and no worse than any of my other 20 Questions Tuesday topics.

5. Has Little Man started to make excuses for not doing things he is suppose to? Are these excuses any good and could he ever live up to your standards of fabrication of an excuse?
He has started down that path. He is my son, so I expect it. I have used the phrase “Don’t bring that weak game into my house, child” to him before, but he isn’t quite hip to that jive.

6. Who is better at making excuses in dealing with friends or family you would rather not deal with, you or Wifey?
I am better at making excuses for everything compared to Wifey. Excuses are pretty much like lying, but with a kernel of truth to make it more believable. Wifey sucks at the lying.

7. The polite “excuse me” in the grocery store aisle to get by the shopping cart in the exact middle of everything. Do you use it and does anyone ever utter it your way? ... by the way, I’m sorry my questions are so lame for today’s topic but I had a long rough weekend, the Steelers lost, I haven’t been able to buy The Force Unleashed yet, and I’m sitting here at work with a ton of stuff to do. I mean quite literally close to 2000 pounds of paper work, give me a break man!
I have been known to excuse myself around others taking up too much aisle space. I have also been known to need excused… I have kids now. Kids take up aisle space darn it!

8. Why two pronunciations for the same word? i.e. “That’s no excuse.” & “Excuse me!”
One is used as a noun and the other a verb.

9. What’s the worst excuse for missing work you’ve ever made?
I haven’t really used excuses for missing work. I typically tell my work, “Hey, I ain’t coming in on Friday.” I am rock star like that.

10. What excuse are you planning to use if you can’t bring the funny for one of these questions?
Questioners not bringing their A-Game

11. Aren't excuses the greatest thing ever. They are ridiculously cheap, easy to manufacture and yet we can use them to patch massive holes in the very fabric of society. Not only that!, but you don't even have to make your own, if you fail to someone else will do it for you. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!???
I am happy for you that you have someone who can manufacture excuses for you. I have to sweat blood and cry tears to get excuses.

12. Does it annoy or amuse you when someone won't let go of their flimsy excuse. Like a guy will tell you he did not finish a proposal because his daughter was sick and you are like all whatever just get it to me tomorrow and he is like all yeh, she has a fever and stuff and you are like all yeah, that is tough, no problem just get it to me and he is all like and I had to swing by to get her medicine and that took forever and you are all like thinking while I personally have doubts about the existence of karma, if your daughter actually gets sick in the next week won't you fell a little guilty?
You are a hard hard man, McArmypants.

13. How much effort have you put into an excuse? I once went overboard on an issue of almost no consequence. I mean my standard is just to give the pensive cow until the inquiring party makes an excuse for me, because I think it is important to let people know where you stand with them, but once I started this elaborate nonsense just for reasons I honestly cannot say I understand or understood and just kept digging deeper and deeper. It was practically lunacy. That ever happen to you?
The problem with excuses, and I am sure you will agree, is that once they are given you have to keep them up. If I give an excuse for a twisted ankle, I have to always remember what ankle is twisted until the proper healing interval has occurred.

14. So who are the best "excusers"? The ones who fabricate for their intended audience and lovingly handcraft each fact to help others maintain their own illusions or the ones who are writing and re-writing their own saga to make sure that their official version is in-keeping with their world view of themselves?
The better excuses are lovingly the lovingly hand-crafted ones, but the more effective ones are the ones done by the deluded folk trying to maintain their own fractured world view.

15. What is the most number of times you can repeat a word in a sentence while remaining grammatically correct? No excuses, answer the question!
There is an infinite amount while still maintaining grammatical correctness. The Court will court the court recorder to record records of the court squash court, the court tennis court, the court, ….” I could go on forever using the word “court.”

16. Did you ever write an excuse for yourself for missing school and sign your parents’ name?
Nope, I didn’t miss that much school as a kid. Plus I saved forging my parents’ names for things like permission slips and the like that I had forgotten to take home.

17. Excuse me. Do people really mean it when they say it? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Very few mean it, but it is at least a polite way of saying “Move.”

18. What's the worst excuse you've ever gotten, for whatever the reason?
I got a boat-load of excuses when I was a Teaching Assistant running the lab section of a lecture class. I don’t remember many of the excuses individually, but collectively, they were weak.

19. Who says excuse me better, Steve Martin or, um, well, who else says excuse me besides Steve Martin?
I have to go with Steve Martin…. He is a wild and crazy guy.

20. Fill in the blank: Excuse me! Please, excuse me from the bottom of my heart, but if I held it any longer, it would have been a ______ .
Pile of linty dust slowly filtering into the wind.


To recap:
Smooth Criminal with Celine Deon acapella… who’s with me?
I have work to do
It is work
It is crappy work
It is crappy boring work
It is crappy boring unrewarding work
I don’t want to do it
Clearly
If I could only figure out something to say to keep me from having to do the work…
I need to learn myself some new software as well
Q is still a bit under the weather
Nothing bad though
Well, back to the grind for me
Listening to co-workers chatting about various gaming platforms

20 Questions Tuesday: 108 - Exercise & Aging: Oil & Water II

Well, even though I am currently living in a post apocalyptic electricity deprived society, where only the lucky few are left suckling off the teat of modernity, I will still post what I was planning on posting for today’s 20 Questions Tuesday, the continuation of last week’s 20 Questions Tuesday. I received many great questions about aging and exercise, so many that I only asked a few people to add questions this week.

Thanks this week go to Allrileyedup, John P, Sparky, and Dr B-Dawg. Now, bring on the questions.


1. I just ran into someone in his mid twenties who introduced me to his fiancée as "she used to baby-sit me" -- how old should that make me feel?
Wow… oh, just wow… I know I would feel pretty darn old.

2. What makes you feel older -- running into some kid you know in the manner of the scenario above, or watching your own children grow?
I think the above scenario seems to make me feel more aged. For some reason my children’s development seems to be somehow outside of my own timeline.

3. Is there really no school like the old school?
Word

4. Fill in the blank: older than _____
Dirt.

5. Do you use anti-aging skin creams?
They make anti-aging skin creams?!?! Does it help with joint pains?

6. Much like the Theory of Relativity do we age faster the more we exercise? I know it is supposed to be good for you but why do you develop all the aches and pains with each workout?
Sadly for me, a prolonged absence from working out produces more permanent aches and pains. Exercise aches and pains seem to be rather transient.

7. Pick one: workout regularly and age gracefully or enjoy chips (or bacon) and MT Dew and go out kicking and screaming?
I defy your instructions and choose both. I can gracefully exit kicking and screaming.

8. What was the motivation for the run? Someone giving chase perhaps?
I wish someone were chasing me. I would feel a bit more motivated then.

9. Should we investigate human cloning more so we could all get a body double that is made to stay in shape and then when our lazy heart, lungs, and liver give out just “borrow” them back? Ethic smethics.
I agree, ethics smethics, give me a new knee, SRH2.

10. Would you workout to stay in shape so you could participate in a sport with you children they enjoy even if you didn’t like it in the least?
Sadly, yes, unless that sport also required an insane amount of equipment, then it would just be financially silly.

11. Whatever happened to good ole jump and bounce aerobics complete with neon colored lycra, white Reeboks and legwarmers?
I imagine they still exist. Whilst at my previous gym membership I occasionally saw the odd aerobics and step aerobics class occurring. They were definitely not as frequent as the yoga and Pilate's classes.

12. What are your top 5 tunes on the iPod for exercising?
I exercise to Tool’s Lateralus.

13. LL Cool J - aging hasn't slowed him down or cooled off his uber-hotness. What gives?
I have no idea. The man is a lip-licking machine.

14. Same question, subject is Dara Torres.
I have no idea. The woman is a swim/runway modelling machine

15. Did you see any of SNL this weekend with Tina Fey as Palin or Michael Phelps hosting? This question has absolutely no relevance to the topic, but I'm asking the questions here!
Nope

16. Do you feel that you're aging gradually or that there are abrupt stages that are a little jarring?
I wish I were aging gradually, but it seems more like I have abrupt quantized stages.

17. How close are you to grabbing the yoga banner?
I tried yoga a bit whilst Wifey was teaching it. It is not an exercise for me.

18. As you move onward, would you rather be more Jack Lalanne or more John Goodman?
Isn’t there a happy more than medium leaning towards Jack?

19. a) You aren't wearing a step counter are you? b) If you do find yourself wearing one, does that forfeit your right to not have a bag thrown over your head and secreted away?
a) I count no steps. I am a specific distance or time frame runner.
b) I believe it does indicate a forfeiture of the Right Not to be Secreted Away by Masked Men

20. Do kids make the aging process speed up or slow down?
Yes


To recap:
Damn, I want my power back
I have stuff to do that cannot be accomplished behind work’s firewalls
I am tired of sleeping without the re-assuring sound of a fan
I want to clear out the fridge and begin anew
I am ready to watch TV again
Hopefully I will have happy power news tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 107 - Exercise & Aging: Oil & Water

So this weekend I did something I have not done in over 5 years… maybe even 6 years… they just start smooshing together after a while. One year blurs into two, then all of the sudden, there you are with a fragmented memory… Where was I? Oh yes, nigh on 6 years ago I went for a run. Yep, I went for a run on Saturday. It was not pretty, but it did lead me to the idea for this 20 Questions Tuesday topic.

This was the first run ever where my cardiovascular system decided to throw in the towel before my decrepit physical condition. So in “honor” of that event today’s 20 questions is on Exercise & Aging: Oil &Water.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, ACW, Capt McArmypants, and JA Coppinger.

On to the questions:
1. Do you listen to music when you exercise?
If I go to a gym, most definitely. I am not terribly keen on music whilst running outside. I have tried it a few times, but I think I would rather be able to hear what’s going on around me… That is, of course, until I can exercise outside for more than a painful 30 minutes of wheezing, hacking, and cursing.

2. Do you prefer to exercise indoors or outdoors?
If it is an activity, outdoors, but if it is “merely” exercise, I think indoors.

3. When were you in the best shape?
Senior year in college. I was fencing competitively at the time which meant practice at least 4 times a week and I was lifting with some guys 2 or 3 times a week.

4. What is your fitness goal now?
Complete a triathalon… Not sure when I will actually set that goal as a firm date as of yet. It is a bear trying to balance a life that is out of balance already. The new baby and the 5 year old demand a bunch of attention. Plus when I am not paying them attention I need to find some time to share with my spouse. Once in a while I also need to throw a bone to my oft neglected friends as well. On top of all that I have work too.

5. Do you prefer to work out singly, with a partner, or in a group?
I prefer not to work out, so whether I exercise in a group or singly is immaterial. That being said, different work outs seem to fit best with different amounts of people. Cardio is something I want to do on my own with no one able to watch how pitiful it is. Strength training, I feel is done best with a small group of 3 or 4.

6. Why exercise? - We’re all gonna die anyway
Well, it is about quality of life at the moment. I would like to be able to do some of the more active activities with my children as they grow. Plus I seem to be falling apart, and the only way to not fall apart is to do this physical preventative maintenance.

7. Did you at least make it to the end of the block?
I ran 1 mile at a pretty good pace (for starting out) and walked 1 mile like a weak mewling asthmatic kitten praying for breath.

8. Doesn’t aging suck?!
Boy howdy! It sucks real bad.

9. Ever been to a reunion and noticed how everyone else aged (but not you)?
I don’t go to re-unions. The people I keep in contact with are the ones I want to keep up with. Anyone else would fall into the category of idyll curiosity.

10. Better with age? - Thoughts
Depends on what you are talking about. Scotch? Yes. Hard cheeses? So I have heard. Wisdom? Definitely. Knees? Nope

11. Why does Global Warming nonsense get so much media play when clearly gravity has been increasing ever year for the last 15 years!!!! I mean focus here people!!!
I think that gravity may not be increasing…. I think your density is increasing like a superpower.

12. Do you find it harder to judge athletes for taking HGH now?
Sadly, yes.

13. How much solace to you take in the fact that you are still healthier than half the high school age children in America today? (As you steal a Wal-Mart scooter to get from the parking lot to your office tomorrow will it help that at least you can remember a time when you were in good shape? or will it only make it worse?)
I take no solace in that. As to the parenthetical question: All the Wal-Mart Rascals were in use and there was a line. I had to drive to work and walk up to the door like a chump, and in some ways having been in shape at least once in my life makes this worse because now I know how far I have fallen.

13(b). How much better is this latest James Bond movie going to have to be than all the other James Bond movies to overcome the title: "Quantum of Solace" (Please do not reference how bad the title "Octopussy" is because let us not forget it was also a terrible movie.)
I think it might actually be up to the task. Daniel Craig is a bad-ass bond. The ones that it will have to beat are Casino Royale, Dr. No, Never Say Never Again, and maybe Moonraker. Although Golden Eye was pretty good too.

14. Do you have lists of exercises that you can still do physically, but no longer do because it hurts too much the next day.
I keep no such list.

15. Can you still do that thing where you walk down stairs while simultaneously turning in a circle? Cuz as long as you can do that you are not out of shape.
I am woefully out of shape then. I have a hard time turning in a circle or going down stairs.

16. When you move past the aches/lack of oxygen do you actually like running, or is it just an “I gotta do it” thing?
I fucking hate running. I hate it with the heat of a thousand suns. I loathe it with a cool fury the like of which has never been seen. My hate for running is worse than the black bilious ichor that resides within the darkest reaches of the worst of mens’ souls.

17. Which part of the body hates exercise the most in your advanced years?
At the moment, my lungs, but my feet are not far behind in that race. I swear I have the arches of an 88 year old.

18. Morning or evening workouts – and how does your ancient self looks while exercising affect the choice?
My body prefers evening workouts, but that is family time at the moment. As soon as Q is a bit more self sufficient, I might be able to get a routine going in the evenings. I lookj rather silly in my exercising duds. That is all you need to know.

19. Are you an iPod kinda guy when working out?
I am trying that out as far as the road running, but most definitely if I am in the gym. Sometimes I put the earbuds in just so people won’t talk to me.

20. Why the break from the long hiatus?
It is time.


To recap:
I am having a Papa Day at home today
Little Man starts his pre-school again today
Then he goes to an allergist appointment
Hopefully he will test out of dairy and egg today
It has been rough allergen –wise for the SRH household this week
Little Man has been Zyrtec-less for the past 5 days to “cleanse” his system before being tested
EDIT
Went to the allergist this morning for Little Man, it went well
Sorry for the late post, but I was away from computers all day

20 Questions Tuesday: 106 - The next 5

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about being off the cuff. I say that because I completely forgot that today was Tuesday and that yesterday was Monday because family traditions that are typically done on Friday were done on Sunday making Monday feel like Saturday. Plus my calendaric confusion level tends to go up on holiday weekends. So today I sent out an impassioned plea for the next 5 questions each person thought of. I shall answer them with questions of my own. Who says this old dog can’t learn new tricks.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Belsum, ACW, Wifey, Capt. McArmypants, theMikeStand, and AllRilyedUp.


1. Why do I still work here?
Why does anyone work anywhere?

2. Does expired Tylenol have any adverse side effects?
Not that I know of, how many tentacles do you see?

3. Can I sue Target for selling me expired Tylenol?
Wouldn’t you have a better case in court if it were expired soy pudding and Whole Foods instead of expired Tylenol and Target?

4. Don't Mondays suck, even when they are technically Tuesdays?
Who cares about technicalities in work week hate?

5. There is no fever so what brought on the boy’s puking?
Why do some illnesses/viruses/germs target certain systems but not others?

6. How come nothing is ever easy?
Why do people constantly disparage the concept of “Nothing?” What has it ever done to you? Nothing maybe?

7. Will I ever feel well rested again?
Do you even remember what well rested felt like?

8. Labor Day? - is this our nod to the old USSR's celebration of the labor party/workers?
Were the USSR’s celebrations of the proletariat worker derived from the Pro-Union activity that brought about Labor Day in the US?

9. What's up with "For Better or Worse" in the comics?
Why can’t some people let go?

10. It's September! What happened to summer?
Indeed! Where has the time gone?

11. Why won't she go to sleep? Or rather, why won't she stay asleep?
Why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?

12. Does she hate me?
Is she capable of hate? Of love? Of indifference?

13. Are we already setting up some dynamic whereby we teach our dear child to torture those who love her?
Shouldn’t we instruct her in a dynamic that does not have so much potential to harm us?

14. Why can't I wear white after Labor Day?
Are you in the Navy?

15. So I woke up this morning and my back was killing me, it happens sometimes. I immediately chose plan B, which is where I cook up a big breakfast to fill my stomach and then take some serious muscle relaxants. I then hang from something for about 15 minutes and then I walk to work. (Thank God I can walk to work, driving is not an option.)
a. So how pathetic is that?
b. What is the biggest betrayal by your body for you?
a. If pathetic were a question, I would respond, why?
b. Have you ever heard of metabolism?

16. Did you know that Canada is going to have a Federal election just before the US has theirs? Using your limitless knowledge of Canadian politics, how do you think the outcome of our election could affect the outcome of yours?
If a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Japan, does that affect the wind and water in Louisiana? Better yet, will the conservative result in Canada create more resolve in the US for something less conservative?

17. Who was / is your favourite Muppet?
Why don’t Beaker and Doctor Bunsen Honeydew have their own show ?

18. How could you forget which day of the week is TUESDAY?????
I know, WTF?

19. What is your opinion on stomach stapling?
Do I have an opinion on stomach stapling? Does it work for all people who get stapled?

20. Favorite breakfast cereal?
Would it have to be consumed for breakfast? At that point is it really “breakfast cereal” or merely “cereal?”


To recap:
Did I forget to post yesterday?
I just received 5 questions from Peefer, should I answer them?
1. Why don't I ever get anything done on time?
What exactly is time?
2. Do you ever think about what angle the plane of our solar system makes with the plane of the Milky Way? If so (or if not), what is your best guess?
Nope, I never think about that, should I?
3. Last course you ever took?
Would you believe a 1 hr course of independent study for my thesis completion?
Why only 3 of the 5 questions?
Why not?
Why am I listening to a cover of I Will Survive by Cake?
Why aren’t you?

20 Questions Tuesday: 105 - Sleep Debt

So, there is no denying it. I am sleep deprived like no one’s business. I haven’t completely gone off the end of dementia, but I would not consider it out of the question.

Thanks this week go to IC Yellow, Belsum, Sparky, Capt McArmypants, and Allrileyedup:

Onto the questions:
1. Have you ever been asleep dreaming that you were lying in bed trying to go to sleep? That's happened to me a time or two. Talk about confusing!
I have had a dream that I was nearly done with all the morning tasks when I am rudely interrupted by my alarm. Very similar confusion I would imagine.

2. Who's more sleep deprived? You or Wifey? Who's handling it better?!?!?
I think I am more sleep deprived than Wifey, but not because of Little Man and Q. When I am stressed my sleep goes to shit. Plus both Wifey and I think that there must be some kind of hormone flowing through breast feeding moms that nullifies some of the sleep deprivation effects.

3. The Captain woke up at 2:30 this morning and had insomnia. Now I’m a wreck. How is that fair?
Parenting is completely unfair. It is best to keep that in mind.

4. Is waking up in the middle of the night to pee really the body’s way of preparing you for the post-birth sleeplessness or is it just the smaller bladder due to the parasite taking up residence in your abdomen?
I would say that it is a little of Column A and a little of Column B.

5. Does caffeine actually help when you’re working on severely not enough sleep or does it just make you so jittery that your attention is diverted to that unsettling feeling instead of being mad about not getting enough sleep?
Caffeine is a substance that helps insure that I stay marginally conscious whilst at work. I have never really felt jittery after consuming something caffeinated, then again, I am not that fond of espresso or other super potent forms of caffeine, so I really haven’t taxed my system with caffeine as of yet.

6. What’s worse: not being able to fall asleep initially or waking up for no good reason and then not getting back to sleep?
Not being able to fall asleep initially is worse for me. That is when the brain starts to do crazy stuff. Truth be told, though, I cannot remember an instance of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep.

7. Why is it always possible to fall deeply asleep about 40 minutes before the alarm goes off, even when you’ve been tossing and turning all night long?
Because there is a higher power and that higher power is known as Irony.

8. Unisom? Tylenol Simply Sleep? Tried them? Perhaps you should?!
When co-sleeping, one should not take sleep aids. Anything that assists someone into a sleep often takes them into too deep a sleep to have an infant in the bed. Those would be excellent choices to reset the sleep-o-meter if Q were not sleeping between Wifey and I.

9. How about quitting the Dew after 12 noon? This might help. Too much caffeine makes one edgy and it's hard to wind down then drift off (personal experience talking).
This is definitely a goal in the life of SRH, but it is one that needs a few criteria to be met prior to enforcing. Without the mild caffeine found in soft drinks most likely what would occur is sleeping at my desk at work and being wide awake at home. Honestly, sleep would not be an issue if I were able to take an hour long nap in the afternoon.

10. Can you try resetting your body's clock and going to bed earlier for a week? It will be tricky at first, but you'll adjust.
This is trickier than one would think. The transition would be frustrating beyond belief. One of the most frustrating things that I can do to myself is to lay in bed trying unsuccessfully to go to sleep. Lack of sleep coupled with immense frustration does not a fun-to-be-around SRH make.

11. How about making yourself NOT get on the pc/gaming stuff and hitting the hay instead?
I honestly haven’t played the big computer game of my life more than 3 times in the past 2 months. Lately the late nights have been Olympics and/or Sudoku. Actually, I think the lack of game playing has contributed to my insomnia. I have not had enough mindless yet engaging activity to “reset” and escape.

12. Are people who actually believe they are better off going without sleep if they can only get an hour better classified as imbeciles or dimwits?
There is some sooth in the thought that sometimes a paltry amount of sleep is worse than no sleep at all. It all depends upon when the person wakes up in the sleep cycle. Some times a power nap’s end can coincide beautifully with a waking time, but then again there is the chance that you will be groggy for hours as well.

13. I used to have a really hard time sleeping. Light sleeper, could not actually get to sleep with all these little thoughts bouncing around and then other thoughts would wake me back up when I finally got to sleep. Except for the light sleeper stuff, I pretty much got all that beat. My thoughts pretty much keep to themselves if they know what’s good for them! So what is your main problem? I am pretty sure it is not light sleeping, so brain activity waking you up or keeping you from going to sleep? or a combo of the 2 with what percentage?
I would say that on stressed out days it is 75% keeping me from going to sleep and 25% waking me from sleep.

14. How is it that the siesta has not taken off like wild fire? Would you go so far as to say that when we embrace the mid-day nap as a species it will be an evolutionary step?
I believe we would evolve as a race with the global implementation of a siesta. Genius really.

15. When really sleep deprived I resent everything that wastes my time and get very frustrated with things that would normally just annoy me. But my real hot buttons, (I say hot button, but cause the phrase "pet peeve" is actually a pet peeve of mine.) are inexplicable traffic jams and multiple human voices talking at the same time. Anything seem unusually aggravating when going on 4 or less hours of shut eye?
Everything seems annoying to me.

16. So I figure Napoleon was lying and actually got 8 hours a night and just talked a whole bunch of crap in hopes that some one would try his B.S. sleep recommendations. What is your ideal sleep amount?
Ideally I would subsist well on 7 hours. I would do fine with a solid 6. The problem is that I am getting an interrupted 5.5.

17. Is a 20 minute catnap as empowering as those advice columnists claim them to be?
Nope, those advice columnists are a bunch of lying jackals... the lot of them

18. What have you been dreaming about lately?
Oddly, I have been dreaming about super mundane stuff. The grocery store, laundry, world domination… the typical stuff.

19. What do you think your children dream about?
I believe Q dreams about Mama, while Little Man seems to remark about dreaming of Chicago. Peter Cetera did all his own stunts when he was with Chicago.

20. What is your dream sleep time?
I sleep best from about 2 am till 9 am. Yes, that sleep would make me happy.

Bonus Question

21. Admit it, when you look at her, all the sleep deprivation in the world is worth it, isn't it?
With or without the sleep debt, she is amazingly worth it. That being said, I do not feel that she is the over-arching reason that I am not sleeping well. Heck she sleeps from midnight to 6 and goes back to sleep after feeding. That would give me plenty of rest if I could assimilate into that schedule.


To recap:
Interview went well last night
We kicked the caregivers in the stomach today
It could have been worse
We could have shot them and eaten their hearts in front of their fading consciousness
Instead we just ripped their hearts out
We are good like that
I have way too many icons on my desktop
But I cannot, for I need the icons, yet they cannot be moved elsewhere
Woe am I
Listening to The Theme From Shaft by Isaac Hayes
They say that Shaft is a bad mother..
SHUT YO MOUTH!
I’m talkin’ bout Shaft
Then we can dig it!

20 Questions Tuesday: 104 - Two Years of This Crap?!?

So it is 20 Questions Tuesday: 104 which means that this post content crutch that I cling to for dear life has been going on for at least 2 years. In honor of my recent inability to create meaningful and/or entertaining content (this supposes that at some point I did have meaningful and/or entertaining content or it means that you are defining “recent” as within the last 4 years. Both suppositions are acceptable.) I have chosen to not have a topic associated with this 20 Questions and instead rely upon my fine readership’s ability to generate random questions.

Thanks this week go to Belsum, Lord Pithy, JA Coppinger, Amy, and Allrileyedup. On to the questions!

1. Do you suffer from enochlophobia? Or are you just a garden variety misanthropist?
Garden variety Misanthrope.

2. What is your least favorite way to experience a crowd of people?
Amid said crowd. Lording over a crowd of people doesn't seem so bad.

3. “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” Words of wisdom or trite screenplay dialogue?
I believe both. It is very true and yet from Men in Black.

4. How many is too many?
Depends on the space

5. What if you know everyone? Does that help?
Sometimes that only makes it worse…

6. Could tetherball be a contender as an Olympic sport if it were played with a wrecking ball?
Certainly, but I don’t even think changing the ball would be necessary. Really? If table tennis is an Olympic sport then tetherball definitely could be. Not knocking table tennis players as much as lifting up tetherballers.

7. How would you update Candyland to make it more relevant to today's youth?
It would be called Microwaveland and the food places would be cheap microwave food instead of candy places. The Gumdrop Mountains would become the Burrito Canyon and the Peanut Brittle House would become the Hot Pocket Hut.

8. Purple or orange?
Purple.

9. If a nod is as good as a wink to a blind man, what color is your parachute?
I was not aware that I needed a parachute… not when I am holding these pictures of my boss…

10. I'm going to California, how does that increase the odds of the "big one" happening? ("Big one" as in earthquake you sick bast@rd.)
Touchy touchy. Rest assured though, it does not increase the odds... much.

11. What’s more annoying: people who start every sentence with “Ummm . . .” or people who say, like, the word “like” in like every sentence they like speak.
The combination of the two is really where the test of patience comes in. I think I prefer “ummm” to “like.” With “ummm” the person is likely searching for words, while with “like” the person is relaying a story that never happened.

12. Super Hero, Wizard, Healer, or Psychic. Pick one & explain why.
SuperHero because you did not define what the power was. I feel it gives me more leeway in my character generation. I could be a Super Hero Wizard, a Super Hero Healer, or a Super Hero Psychic.

13. Celestial body you would like to vacation on if it were possible?
I am a simple man of simple pleasures, I think I would merely like to go to the Moon.

14. Abbot & Costello or the Marx Brothers?
Abbot & Costello, less preachy.

15. Is breakfast really an important part of the day? What would be the best breakfast ever? If money and time were endless, what would you pick as your breakfast?
Breakfast is really important for maintaining a healthy metabolism… I should pay more attention to what I just wrote. I love French Toast and really could have that for breakfast at any time. Lightly sprinkled with powdered sugar with maple syrup (the super de-dooper-dee buttery kind that is amazingly fake). Great, now I am hungry.

16. What are the first 5 songs on your iPod if you put it on random? Are there any songs on the 'pod that you're tired of listening to, but are too tired to remove? What are they?
Snap by the Power
Opera Singer by Cake
Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill
Don’t You Evah by Spoon
Velvet by the Toadies

The thing about the songs on my iPod is that there are some days I don’t want to listen to some of them and other days that I really do. It might be time to switch things up a bit though.

17. Who invented the paper clip?
Johan Vaaler, why?

18. Why can't over the counter prescription drugs live up to their promises?
Because for them to be sold OTC they have to be toned down from their prescription strength counterparts, otherwise people would continually OD without realizing it.

19. How do you think dinosaurs became extinct?
They didn’t become extinct… they left

20. What are your top three favorite science fiction movies?
Tron, Star Wars (The OT), and Blade Runner

To recap:
Stoopid Olympics are getting in the way of sleep
Little Man is really into trying new foods at the moment
Like, crazy into it
Tried bringing my lunch to work today
That didn’t work out so well
You see it had been frozen a looooong time
It did not respond to the thawing process well
It looks like Q is allergic to soy as well as not responding well to dairy…
And so it begins
Listening to Satan is my Motor by Cake

20 Questions Tuesday: 103 - People/Crowds/Mobs/Throngs

Well, it turns out that on Sunday’s trip to the zoo I remembered another thing about myself that I have been carefully keeping from the surface for years. I hate people. Sweet Jesus Almighty I hate people. Always watching me… judging me… uh, where was I, Oh yes, I hate people. I especially hate people in crowds. Therefore today’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about People/Crowds/Mobs/Throngs.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, John P., Lord Pithy, Capt McArmypants, and JA Coppinger.

On to the questions:

1. Three's not really a crowd, is it? I mean, it's three people for crying out loud.
Three is not a crowd. Three is an unfortunate circumstance when 2 of the 3 are dating.

2. More obnoxious mob behavior: pitchfork wielding, or the wave?
Well, in terms of frequency? The wave. I am trying to watch a game here, you drunken yokels
In terms of ferocity? Pitchforks, hands down

3. What is the relationship between a mob and The Mob?
Structure

4. Why the hate? It is time to let the healing begin.
I hate so that I know I am alive. That burning fire in my gut is what keeps me focused.

5. Do you hate all people in general or just stupid people or people who do or say stupid things?
These are not mutually exclusive categories.

6. Will this hate of people in large numbers bode poorly for us when you ascend to dictatorial power?
You have no idea.

7. Any particular grouping of people you hate more than others? Grocery store people, movie theater people, work people, concert people…
I really hate the groups of people directly affecting me at any particular time. For example, I have been to the movies once in the past 2 years or so, movie theater people are not receiving much in the way of SRHate, but those fuckers in the grocery store parking lot can go straight to hell!

8. After writing people and looking at it so many times it just strikes me as an odd work P-E-O-P-L-E. Why is this? Am I losing it?
It is an odd word. I cannot think of another word that has the “eo” vowel diphthong going on. But I also want to clarify that the weirdness of the word “people” does not indicate that you are not, in fact, “Losing it.”

9. Why are you so hateful of anyone who is even a little different from you?
Their differences scare me and homogeneity is what I crave not only in my milk products but in the entirety of my surroundings. I long for the wonderful sameness that is found in over milled blandness that is white bread. My consciousness reels at the mere thought of differentness. I wish to be a penguin amid a sea of penguins.

10. Don't you find it true that people should celebrate their differences and revel in the things that set them apart from the "norm"?
I find that what people should do and what they actually do is far separated by a culture that is built on the idea that there is comfort in conformity.

11. Aside from a total intolerance for any deviation from the Rodenberryan Physical Ideal, what other prejudices do you harbor?
Mouth breathers…. And other people who can’t close their damn mouth. I hate them… I Hate them. I HATE THEM SOOO MUCH WITH THEIR LOUD BREATHING AND VAPID LOOKS, URGH! IT IS ALL I CAN DO NOT TO PUNCH THEM IN THEIR MOUTH AGAPE FACES!!!!!

12. So Russia invades Georgia and our big news for that day was that John Edwards has a love child. In order of jerkiness, please rate America's Apathetic and Short-Sighted General Public, Russia, Georgia, John Edwards, his lovechild.
From a scale of non-jerk to maximal jerkitude I would go with
John Edwards’ potential love child
John Edwards
The Republic of Georgia
The Russian Federation
The State of Georgia
America’s Apathetic and Short-Sighted General Public

13. Which is more indicative of the end of civilization: No one waives when you let them over, no one puts up their shopping cart, how trashed moist public bathrooms are?
Did you mean to type “moist” or “most.” If you meant “moist” I think you are going to the wrong bathrooms in general, but to answer your question, I think the lazy bastards that don’t put the shopping cart away are indicative of the end of civilization. I reason it this way. They are both breaching a social contract that one enters into when one uses a grocery store parking lot, and they are actively being inactive thus adding to the societal strain caused by poor health and obesity. That and they are FUCKING MOUTH BREATHERS! SHUT YOUR DAMN PIE HOLE AND BREATH THROUGH YOUR NOSE LIKE GOD ALMIGHTY INTENDED!

14. So is McCain's Obama ad likening him to Brittney Spears really a criticism of Obama or a brilliant (albeit unintentional) criticism of America?
Sadly it is clearly one of the most brilliant un-intentional criticisms of America I have ever seen. I especially love the fact that the Hiltons contributed to the McCain campaign and he makes fun of their daughter. Now, that’s hot!

15. Lately (last 30 years or so) I have noticed that people (Senators, Mayors, Presidents, Democratic Party Leaders, Republican Party Leaders, Minority Activists, Majority Activists, PETA, Greenpeace, the Moral Majority, Evangelists, TV personalities, Union Representatives, CEO's, etc.) regularly and repeatedly say they stand for one thing and then do something contra-indicative to their alleged beliefs? Why do I feel so very alone, when I observe this? I feel like fricken' Roddy Piper in "They Live!" (and if you are reading this and saying to yourself, "Yeh! those damn Republicans!" or "Damn Union!!" You maybe missing what I am going for here, but fully support your wish to damn them both.) Don't get me wrong I realize that everybody could be characterized in such a light. However, with cheating spouses or lying teenage kids there are clearly other factors involved. So my question is: What am I missing? Is this just a matter of "magic" sunglasses? or is there some social contract that I am just not hardwired to receive?
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. Hee hee I love that movie. What was the question again? People hate the weaknesses in themselves the most.

16. What makes crowds stupider than individuals?
Volume.

17. Why do people lose all common courtesy when gathered in large numbers?
The “not it” principle as far as responsibility, and the “shit, there sure are a lot of us, I had better look out for myself” principle as far as grabbiness and impatience.

18. What’s the head-count where you start to hate “people” as a group?
Well, I have enough ability to hate people without anyone’s help, but I imagine that if I needed to group up it would need to be me and 3 of my friends hating as a group. That way we could also tackle some instances and kill us some orcs. Orcs, they need to be dying.

19. Do large groups of children get on your nerves or is it strictly adults?
Small groups of children can get on my nerves. They just know how to ramp up the noise better than adults.

20. How do you handle the crowd rage – stay quiet and spout later, or lose it on all of them?
Stay quiet and spout it later. Much later, in a public forum like a post on a blog.


To Recap:
I need some sleep
Q is enamored of Little Man
She just stares at him in the mornings and smiles and smiles
She reaches out to get his attention
It is really special to watch
And Little Man loves him some O--lympics
He would stay up and watch it all night if we would let him
He would also stay up and watch paint dry if that meant he didn’t have to go to sleep
Not a big fan of the falling to sleep
Not sure what we are having for dinner tonight
Listening to Reset by Mute Math
More bands should do instrumentals
And covers… more bands should definitely do covers
I love covers
Typically more than I like the original
Yet, I don’t really like cover bands
Go figure

20 Questions Tuesday: 102 - Lunch

During my now classic 20 Questions Tuesday: 100 – The Century Club, the question “Could you answer 20 questions on the topic of lunch?” was raised. Since I already had a theme picked out for 20 Questions Tuesday:101, it fall to this week’s 20 Questions Tuesday.

So without further ado I would like to thank Sparky, Karen, John P, Capt McArmypants, and Allrileyedup.

On to the questions:
1. Who are your favorite, non-family lunch companions? These are people you actually lunch with and remember I said non-family! (Remember some of your coworkers are reading this...)
Silly question: My coworkers , of course... Hi, Co-workers!

2. If you could drink alcohol at lunch, what would you drink? What would be the ideal appetizer to accompany said drinks?
Beer would be the poison of choice. I tend to not react well with hard alcohols. The ideal appetizer would be pizza.

3. Brunch - better than lunch?
Yes

4. Best lunch under $5, please.
Hmmm…. Scavenged lunch meeting remains. You didn’t have to survive the meeting, but can partake of the bounteous bbq, sandwich, salad, pizza that was not eaten by the meeting attendees. Other than that I like the dollar menu at Wendy’s and the pizza by the slice at Flying Pizza.

5. What is your favorite lunch to eat? favorite place to eat lunch?
I am partial to toasted sub sandwiches in their many guises and names… hoagies, heroes, grinders, bombers, poor boys, torpedos, subs… All that being said, I do not have a particularly favorite eating haunt for lunches.

6. What is your favorite lunch activity…just eating lunch, finishing a digital Thursday pic, calling the family to check in, etc?
Getting the Hell out of the office… This favorite part of lunch has really made it difficult to bring a lunch and eat it at my desk.

7. What was the worst school lunch your cafeteria ever had?
I never partook of the “salad bar” in high school, but I was renowned for its 3 potential salad dressings. The choices were white, orange, and red. They didn’t so much have a different flavor as different chromaticity.

8. What is Little Man’s favorite lunch?
Burger King Hamburger with ketchup only, onion rings, small root beer. That or “chickies” with ketchup.

9. Lunch meat…please explain?
It is thinly sliced roasted meat that is fully cooked and able to be eaten cold. It comes in a variety of meats and a panoplea of flavors.

10. Do you think it would advance western (and perhaps eastern) civilization if we moved brunch from just a weekend endeavor to a full fledged workweek event?
If brunch is available all the time, it loses its appeal, the specialness that makes it great. Sadly I feel that brunch must be only available on weekends and then only partaken of rarely lest it become commonplace.

For questions 11 to13. While I am not as known for my sophisticated palate as you are. I have come to the conclusion BK and McD's have embraced the "Taco Bell" business plan something that most of the other chains have failed to truly really grasp. (except Taco Bell of course, but they have pigeonholed themselves with Tex Mex too much to capitalize on what was clearly their idea and in all honesty considering what they are selling I bear them not ill will.) Uuuh... where was I? Oh yeah, Their business plan in short: The average American can not discern average food from craptacular food. There was a time when BK-McD food was cheap and tolerable and thus oft consumed by people such as myself. However, since like 1998, I can not help but notice that these titans of lunch now actually cost about as much as your "fancier" lunch places like Qdoda, Panera and Chick-Fil-a. (Please excuse the sophistry.) No, Sophist!

11. What gives how do they do it!?!?
Well, it has taken some time for this process to occur. Rome wasn’t built in a day and the relative suckation of mass market fast food also took time. Initially to drive costs down the heavy hitters in the world of fast food sacrificed quality for price. they noticed that their clientele didn’t reduce with the reduction in quality and then decided to push prices to increase their profit margins. They found what people were willing to pay for their now inferior product and it turned out to be similar to what people are willing to pay for “higher quality” fast food with much tighter profit margins. That is why you will see a Qdoba or Chipotle fail and rarely a BK or McD’s. The profit margins are much different, while the consumer costs are similar. This is of course, just a guess.

12. Why do people still go to these places when they about cost as much and provide so much more suckiness? I mean admittedly most chain lunches are passable at best, but when you compare the 7 dollar meal at Grinders to the 7 dollar mean at McD's why does anyone still go to McD's?
Consistency. If I go to Anchorage Alaska or Edinburgh, Scotland, when I walk into a McDonalds, I know what I am getting.

13. How awesome are McD's fries though huh?
When they are piping hot? They are incredible

14. When you go out to lunch, how do you pay 1.50 for the accompanying drink. How does one embrace paying so much for a wax cup of flat soda? I mean do you have to start your training on this as a child? Have I missed my window? Do you think it would help if I brought my own "glass" glass? (maybe a fancy wine flute)?
Some of us are addicted to caffeine and are too proud to sully ourselves with coffee. $!.50 is a small price to pay to make the headaches go away. Glass, plastic, paper, it doesn’t matter, just make the pounding in my temporal lobe go away. Uh… umm…. What I meant to say is that it is highway robbery.

15. Some people often (every work day) have a large Breakfast, a medium sized Brunch and a medium sized Lunch. (mmmmm I love me some brunch....errrr.... I mean some people do love me some brunch...er.... I mean some people do love themselves some brunch.mmmm brunch) Do you think this brunch should it be more breafasty or lunchy in composition? Do you factor in left overs about to go bad into this decision?
Brunch is a late breakfast to me. It typically consists of more breakfast food items than lunch items, but it has eschewed the juices, coffees, and milk products for carbonated headache reducing elixirs or wine.

16. What is your fantasy lunch (sort of a 'what would eat as your final meal' question, but happier and midday)?
My final meal, lunch or dinner shall always and forever more be all you can eat pop-corn shrimp. There is always room for another popcorn shrimp. The warden would come to ask me if I were ready to go off to my execution, and I would say, “No, I think I will have some more shrimp.” I could honestly do that forever.

17. Did your mom or dad pack your lunch in grade school? What was the worst lunch surprise you ever received?
Occassionally my mom would pack my lunch for me, but typically I ate what the cafeteria was serving. After a while I just stopped eating lunch all together so that I did not have to go into the lunchroom. My junior and senior years in high school were completely lunchroomless for me.

18. What is your opinion on luncheon loaf?
I am not knowledgeable about this… “luncheon loaf,” yet I am afraid of what it might be

19. What is the difference between lunch and luncheon?
Trays

20. If Sony or Nintendo offered your unlimited amounts of money to create a video game, and the only thing was that it had to be called Lunch, how would you go about it?
Well, firstly, I would adopt a Blizzard strategy in game releases and production cycles and milk that unlimited cash cow for as long as I could. Secondly, I think it would end up being a first person tactical horror shooter involving the player being hunted by aliens so they can make him into a lunch item.

To recap:
Little Man got spooked by the lightning and thunder last night
That made this morning rather difficult
He was up for 3 hours between 2:30 am and 4:30am
Then he fell out of bed at 5:30 this morning
It was a rough night
My allergies are all acting a fool and I am all out of allergy medicine
Listening to Fire Woman by the Cult

20 Questions Tuesday: 101 - Intro to 20 Questions Tuesday

Since today is the 101st installment of 20 Questions Tuesday, I figured that I would fashion today’s topic after the ubiquitous Intro classes at American Universities. There was English 101, Astronomy 101, Physics 101, Archeology 101, Psychology 101, and (dare I say, Yes. I dare say) Anatomy 101. Anyway… today is 20 Questions Tuesday: 101 – Intro to 20 Questions Tuesday because I believe recursion is underused.

Thanks this week go to Peefer, JA Coppinger, Lord Pithy, Lsig, Dr B-Dawg, and Nadolny. Onto the questions:

1. WTF? Seriously. This is a question. Please answer it.
If I knew the answer to that, do you think I would be wasting my time writing on this second rate blog? Sadly, the world may never know the true answer to that question.

2. How much time do you think you've spent on your 20 questions installment since the beginning?
A good solid work week with some overtime.

3. Has Little Man ever asked, "Why?" twenty times in succession. If so, did you ever cop out and answer, "Because I love you"?
“Because I love you” only seems to confuse him more, since most of his questions seem to revolve around trains and train operation.

4. How many Under Construction fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Number 1: I am not sure I have many “Under Construction Fans,” and, Number 2, I am sure that, unless it is an amazingly large light bulb, anyone able to read Under Construction is waaay to big to fornicate in a light bulb singly or with company.

5. How do you decide who to ask for questions each week?
I have an email list that I send out weekly. Anyone can get on that list. If anyone wants to be on that list email me using the email provided on my profile. I started out sending out an email to 8 or so people each week. I would cycle through a list of about 25 people but only send to 8 people a week, but I found that I would not be guaranteed 20 questions that way. I started just emailing my entire list. I have been slowly removing people from the list who stopped responding, so I am down to an email list of 17.

6. Why 20 questions . . . wouldn’t 5 have been simpler? Why Tuesdays? I mean, Wednesday’s are kinda nice . . . Was the inspiration for 20 Questions Tuesday divine guidance or just plain laziness? Why didn’t you decide to do 10 Questions Tuesdays? Why 20? You seem to not be a follower of trends. I'm surprised you didn't make it 10. Still a "t" word to go with Tuesday and it is 10 less than 20 and thus a lot less work for the lazy. How often do multiple people provide similar questions? And, does it occur more or less frequently than you would think?
Well, the first 20 Questions post (I have actually done 113 20 Questions posts now) was a 20 Questions meme that was going around. The next few were similar in length questionnaires that I found on the Interwebs. That kind of started me down a path. The concept ties in nicely with the 20 Questions parlor game that everyone knows and loves. I chose Tuesdays because it is my favorite day of the week. Pending on the topic I will get about 3 similar questions usually.

7. Do you normally have topics lined up in advance or do you make them up as you type up the e-mail?
A little of Column A and a little of Column B. Sometimes Tuesdays line up with significant dates. That makes the topic easy enough. The week of major holidays, topic fodder is pretty simple as well. Sometimes I stare at a blank email for a few minutes trying to come up with a topic.

8. What has been your favorite question/answer pairing over past run?
I am not sure that I can think of a “favorite.”

9. 101 Dalmatians is good family fun. What would 101 rabid skunks be?
Well, as long as all 101 were calm cool and collected, they would be no problem, but the second one felt threatened…. The olfactory horror

10. 101 is 5 in binary (according to the internet). What is the significance of that? Why doesn't the binary system get more love?
Well the significance is that it takes computers an awful lot of storage space to encode a concept as simple as 5. The binary system is a bit laborious to compute into and out of since we typically live within a base 10 system, ergo the lack of love.

11. How do you pick which questions to answer (assuming you get more than 20)?
I try to figure out which ones I think will have more entertaining answers. I sometimes get some real howlers as well. Those don’t make it even if I won’t have a full 20 without them. Some questions end up being too personal (either for me and my fam or for people who I know). It is all very un-scientific.

12. Have you ever knowingly lied to us, the reading public, when answering a 20 Question?
Flat out lied to obfuscate the truth? No. Have I altered an answer to hopefully entertain more? Yes.

13. How many questions do you typically garner when you send out the call?
At first I was averaging 15 and I would make Wifey come up with 5 or ask people at work for a question or 2, but lately I have been getting about 25 on average. For today’s I received 29 questions of which 6 or so were extremely similar.

14. Do you honestly think anyone cares about this?
Nope, I do not delude myself into thinking anyone really cares about my 20 Questions or my 20 answers. Well, aside from me.

15. What was your worst intro class in college in terms of the way it was conducted?
Intro to Anthropology. The exams had nothing to do with the lectures in the least. The lectures were very interesting, but they had no utility in regards to the grade associated with the class.

16. Are your answers free-form or are they carefully thought out with multiple drafts?
I will answer the questions and then wash over the answers once or twice trying to tighten them up if I have time. Sometime I end up posting my first pass.

17. Who do you aspire to be when answering the questions: Abigail Van Bueren? Heloise? Marilyn Vos Savant?
I would say that I am unlike all three. All three of these syndicated question answerers is that they honestly and earnestly attempt to answer the questions they are posed. I try to look at the question from a different angle and answer the un-intended question instead.

18. How long does a typical 20 questions take you to put together?
30 minutes to an hour. Very rarely do I get to focus on it, and finish it up in one sitting. Some people take smoke breaks, I write crap for a blog.

19. It feels like your research some of the stuff as you have facts and links that just don't sound like you would know off the top of your head. How much research goes on?
Usually, most looking up I do is to confirm what I was thinking as the answer, I have a lot of useless information in my noggin here. A LOT. The research that I end up doing typically has to do with finding the correct link for my answer. I would say I have to actually research an answer for 1 or 2 questions per post.

20. Do you still feel that the blog is useful for your writing skills?
I feel that this process is helping to keep me mentally sharp. Especially since my job is not that strong at providing me with mental gymnastics.


To recap:
Man, I am tired today
Some of the fam will be here this evening
Yippee?
Wifey had a meeting today
She really doesn’t want to get back into that game
I don’t blame her
Who wants to work for a living?
Not me, that’s who
It is time to switch out some of the music on my iPod
Listening to Spoon’s Don’t you Evah… again

20 Questions Tuesday: 100 - The Century Club

Who would have thought that this crack-pot idea of having people ask me questions would last for 100 weeks? Not me, that’s who. I have so many people to thank so I just won’t because I am incredibly lazy.

Thanks this week go to Sparky, ACW, Peefer, Dr B-Dawg, and Nadolny (do you wanna be called “Sassyfrass?”).

100 weeks in and the questions are only getting better. The answers? That is a different story...

On to the questions:
1. Is it hard for you to answer personal/serious questions?
Well… since I will not answer too personal of questions the answer is “no.” But I tend to answer things rather obtusely, and that takes more effort so the answer is “yes.” I should hope that no one is coming to this blog for much seriousness.

2. Could you answer 20 questions on the topic of lunch? Or perhaps you have...
I could have sworn that I had done a “lunch” 20 Questions, but it seems that I have not. 20 Questions 102 will be concerning lunch.

3. Would you want to have 100 of anything? (Other than items of currency, of course.)
Definitely not Dalmatians. Those are some angry dogs. Very bitey dogs. Hmmm… I would love to have 100 happy repeatr customers and clients. Then I could work for myself and loose the shackles of this corporate veil.

4. Finish this sentence..."But I would walk 500 miles..." I know it's not ONE hundred, but deal with it.
And I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walked 100 miles to fall down at your door.

5. What club would you REALLY like to be a member of?
The Justice League! Sure it is exclusive, but I can’t be any more useless than the Atom!

6. What are your thoughts on the Century Series of American jet fighters?
Who doesn’t like a plane named the Thunderchief?

7. What was up with the Hundred Years war - what are the 5 W's?
The French and the English really didn’t like each other.
Who: England and France
What: Medieval warfare
When: 1337 to 1431
Why: Sovereignty claims and Duchy tax issues
Where: European mainland

8. Do you think the US of A has a hundred years left?
I am honestly not sure. I think the US might need to create a more formal alliance and governmental union with our continental neighbors to create a more cohesive trade partnership. It could possibly strengthen the economy (in the long run) and make the continent a more robust player compared to the EU and China, India, Brazil.

9. Any fond memories of the Bicentennial in 1976? Any memories at all....?
My first memory that I can clearly recall is from when I was 3, 1 year after the Bicentennial in 1976. It is of a kid biting my nose on a playground slide. Thanks for reminding me.

10. Why do we need pennies? For example, the Dutch don't use the 1/100th of a Euro - they just use a 'rounding' item on their receipts to remove those pesky cents.
I have no real affinity for the penny, but one has to think of what the unit for currency is. There needs to be some level of indivisible currency. In a base ten currency that level is usually worth 1 something or other. If you change that level to being worth 5 something or others, that level is still technically divisible.

11. In the Dewey Decimal System, what is categorized under the 100's. Why?Philosophy and psychology. Because

12. What kind of person would sing "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall" all the way to the end?
An annoying one. Most likely 5 years old.

13. How great is living to 100?
It seems to be getting better. I can remember seeing pictures of near skeletons with dead eyes and feebly “smiling” their missing toothed skull grins at cameras clearly wishing for death since their mind had partially lived longer than their now useless body. But now the people in the 100 years club pics seem to be happier and more vibrant, so by the time I get near the century mark I will be hale and hearty.

14. A googol is greater (much greater) than the number of atoms in the visible universe. So what is even the POINT of defining a googolplex?
Because dark matter exists, Peefer and it must be made to account for!

15. How have you changed in the last 100 weeks?
I am older, hopefully wiser, and definitely more tired.

16. What are your preferred bills for $100? 1 Benjamin, a two Grants, 5 Andrews...
10 Hamiltons. There is a symmetry with the 10 tens and Alexander Hamilton is dreamy.

17. Is it just assumed that a person would have an STI after reaching the century club?
I think it is assumed that will have had at least one STI. They may have something recurring or continuous, but they most likely have had at least one bit of something or other.

18. Look into the future and predict what the world (yours or in general) will be like when Tuesday's 20 questions turns 1000.
Hmmm… 17+ years away… Little Man will be 23. Q will be rounding on 18 years old. I will be a venerable 51. Hmmm… jet packs and flying cars, baby!

19. Why does the centi- get so much respect and the milli-, so little?
What about poor little hectic- and deci-?

20. What would a hand look like with 100 fingers on it?
Silly

Bonus 4 questions!

21. What do you think of the mile high club? Does membership have it's advantages?
Seeing as how I am not a member, I have not seen the enrollment packages and benefit entry plans. Sorry, I can’t really help with this question.

22. Did you own a Members Only jacket in the last century?
I owned a knock-off Member’s Only jacket… I was just that cool, I also had some high-top Star Runners as well

23. When you are old, will you sit on the front porch telling stories about how "back in my century, we had global cooling rather than this sissy global warming crap" and "back in my century, they wrapped the burgers in paper and threw it in the trash and we liked it that way!"
Most definitely. I will also threaten to keep that ball if it comes in my yard one more time

24. Methuselah, discuss amongst yerselves.
Yes, please do.


To recap:
Thanks everyone for making this such a fun thing to do
We think that Little Man is a bit afeared of the Tooth Fairy
He did not want to put anything under his pillow for some magical fairy ninja tart to secretly come into his room while he was sleeping and collect his discarded body part for some trivial amount of money
He didn’t like that concept at all
It was a pretty significant display of lightning last night
Lightning Storm and a Tooth Fiary could be a really “good” b-horror movie
Too bad I was sleeping
Listening to Ghost Riders in the Sky by Johnny Cash, hmmmmmmmmm

20 Questions Tuesday: 99 - the Guest List

Okay, here is something just a little bit different for today’s “20 Questions Tuesday.” For today’s post Wifey put out the call for people to answer 5 questions like/for me. By the time she left to do her daily stuff away from the house, 6 intrepid readers (including herself) had answered the call.

Thanks this week go to Peefer for the 5 questions and Wifey, Lsig, JA Coppinger, Nadolny, Lord Pithy and Capt McArmypants for answering questions.

On to the questions:
1. What is the Golden Distance; i.e. the idea distance separating the homes of you and your parents/in-laws?
Wifey: The Golden Distance is directly proportional to the appropriate boundaries and ability to cook of said parents/in-laws. Stated in an equation
GD = Golden Distance
X = boundaries (score of 1-100 with 1 meaning that they don't call on your birthday and 100 meaning your parents sleep in your bed with you)
Y = inability to cook (score of 1-10 with 1 meaning that you would eat at their house over a restaurant and 10 meaning that they feed you only burnt chocolate chip cookies)
Therefore, GD = (X^Y) miles - or kilometers for the Canadians

Lsig: Close enough that they can arrive within half a day in an emergency, but too far for them to drop by unexpectedly. Ever.

JA Coppinger: This equation can be simplified to: twice the distance the parents/in-laws think it should be.

Nadolny: What? Are you crazy? One side of the 'rents reads this here blog. If I answered that, I'd be in a heap of trouble. That being said, about 500 miles. Enough that they can;t reasonably jump in the car and just shoot over for a surprise visit.

Lord Pithy: Ahhh, fwah fwah fwah. That distance, you see, is, harrumph, kaff kaff. Yes.

Capt. McArmypants: With a change in fuel prices the Golden Distance as unfortunately changed for us all. Soon thrifty parents will realize that flying is now cheaper than driving. While gas prices are nigh-prohibitive the golden distance must include a 2 hour drive to the closest commercially viable airport to ensure the trip remains a hassle.

(The Captian’s Analysis: Now I realize that this does not answer the question, but please notice SRH senses when you have a specific answer in mind and automatically does 2 things. 1. Subconsciously decides you will not tell him what to do and 2. Decides to answer 1/3 of the question because he is lazy. Nor he would clarify parents or in-laws for us.)

2. When will they ever learn?
Wifey: They won't. It's up to us as their children to teach them and be rewarded with crap for our efforts.

Lsig: When it's too late to do anybody any good.

JA Coppinger: Please, if anyone has a real answer for this question let me know. PLEEEEEASE!!!!

Nadolny: When? When? The monkeys wouldn’t like it if they didn't learn soon! Ahh, ahh, get them out of my head!

Lord Pithy: When they know, humphhumph

Capt. McArmypants: They learn every 4th time and then promptly forget with a year. They provide just enough hope that they might one day learn.

(The Captain’s Analysis: SRH might be a complicated man, but when it comes to multi-faceted exhausting interaction his parents are like the 2 monkeys that repeatedly write Hamlet. No one knows how they do it, but they always hit the mark.)

3. Tell us of you best family relationship (not including wife and children).
Wifey: It's with my wife and children. (I cannot be contained by your rules, peefer. Nobody puts SRH in a corner.)

Lsig: I'm tight with my half-brother the Yeti.

JA Coppinger: LOL – can’t best Wifey’s answer!

Nadolny: Why not them? They are the soul of my existence. They define my life at this point and few other relationships hold a candle to them.

Lord Pithy: Donny and Marie

Capt. McArmypants: Wifey has totally hit this one on the head. This is SRH's answer.

(The Captain’s Analysis: SRH blogs openly, but remains a man with good boundaries, which I totally appreciate. Also, please see the part 2 of the commentary on answer 1.)

4. Could All In The Family succeed as well today?
Wifey: Sure, please see Dog, the Bounty Hunter. Archie would just have to keep it a little more real, yo.

Lsig: All in the Family would do fine. It's just that the percentage of people who identified with Archie instead of being provoked by him would likely be much higher, because people are meatheads.

JA Coppinger: Nah, today we’d need to call it “Some in the Family”. The rest would be at Betty Ford, having silicone implanted, or working on alternative lifestyle relationships in an L.A. tattoo parlor. Actually, might be a show I’d watch . . .

Nadolny: Sure, look at some of the other racially/politically insensitive shows out there that do well. Hell, there is a glut of them. The press may squash thigns like Kramer's tirade at a stand up comedy club or such, but if a mainstream show makes fun of it, that seems to be Ok with them. Beside which, that Edith is damn funny.

Lord Pithy: Maybe not all of them, but Edith

Capt. McArmypants: All in the Family was produced in a time of change and upheaval. Many people at that time were actually ignorant of so many of society’s injustices and woes. Theoretically, people were more prone to live their lives and not their neighbor's. THEY WERE ACTUALLY BUSY and many of the hot topics of the show just never came up in their microcosms. The show's genius YES genius!!! is that it examined many of viciously racist and classist issues of society not from the standpoint of a zealotous and spiteful, white-spikey-hat-wearing-K-ray-Z nutbar, but from the stand point of the middle class protagonist who just did not know any better and was set in his ways. It was an EFFECTIVE attempt to reach the proverbial good man who does nothing as evil triumphs. It provided weekly little philosophical short stories where a relatively good man applied the patriotic, "American" and religious ideals he always thought he held to minorities of every sort (race, color, religion, class, orientation) in a variety of situations and caused many of the show's viewers to realize the cognitive dissonance they practiced daily. We make light of it today, because most people today can not appreciate the prevailing lack of knowledge of the times when your "likeable" Archie's where still around. (Also we have all been programmed by the same TV not examine any of our dogma and to content ourselves with placing blame as opposed to actually doing anything to change the status quo.) Yes there was a time when people could go their whole life without being faced with the disparity of some citizens to other citizens. Segregation was not called segregation it was called everyday unexamined life. Where as today, some might argue that we are just as close-minded, segregated and classist (with no legitimate excuse for our ignorance), I would like to point out that I have turned on the television and you are still talking so............ SHHHHHHH!!!! Today this show could not succeed for a variety of reasons. The Thing First, the ignorance of that day is pretty much inexcusable and/or willful now, so Archie could not possibly be seen as a sympathetic character. The thing Second, this show requires a Jefferson's to yang its yin. The thing the Third, Sally Struthers is hideous!!!! Hideous!!!!!! Thing the Fourth, we have decided to stymie any sort of honest examination of society along those lines. We have created new rich and equally inflexible stereo types for our movies and media and they are not to be trifled with! (or triffled with, but that totally changes the meaning of this answer.) The producer of such a show would never be heard from again, the main characters would never work in Hollywood again (except for the Dice-man. He always comes back.) and the only comment from the media at large that would not be some equivalent of BURN THEM... BURN THEM ALL!!!! would come from Jason Whitlock and ignored as a sports commentator out of his depth.

(The Captain’s Analysis: Yep that is what SRH would have said alright. He is a disturbingly opinionated man. I mean I think he should seek help.)

5. At what age does the average parent become obnoxious to his/her children?
Wifey: The parent's age or the kid's age? I'll go with the first. I apparently became obnoxious to Little Man on his 2nd birthday, I'll go with 31 years old.

Lsig: Whatever age they are when the kid wants to pick out his or her own clothes.

JA Coppinger: One is assuming that the parents are average. There’s always the possibility that the ‘rents are exceptionally obnoxious, in which case I’m thinking there was probably milk money and Garanimals involved in the realization . . .

Nadolny: I'm gonna go with two answers on this one. First, when they first become conscious to the constraints put upon them by the parental units (about one and a half to two). Second, when they are out on their own and the parents are still offering advice that isn't sought.

Lord Pithy: And the eyes open …

Capt. McArmypants: I remember the day well. I was so tired. Emotionally and physically exhausted. Then I held my first child in my arms for the first time. I looked down at his beautiful dark, dark still unfocused eyes and then his started crying for momma. So I guess 0?

(oddly, there is no “Captain’s Analysis” associated with this one…)

To recap:
A la JA Coppinger:
To Recap: I gots the mad equation solvin’ skillz, yo!
Wifey knows me better than anybody.
I ma so tried I can barly type this.
Need Mountain Dews . . . Much Dew is due!
Food, Family and Snoozing awaits. Not necessarily in that order.
Listening to “Hungry Eyes” off of the DD soundtrack.
I’m out.
Okay, my recap:
Overheard in Wifey’s car on the way to preschool: “I’m sorry, Q. I just gotta dance. I can’t get your pacifier right now.”
Little Man was rockin’ the booster seat while jamming to Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back
Little Man is also sporting a loose tooth
He is growing up so fast
Listening to Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake off of Futuresex / Lovesounds
Yawp

20 Questions Tuesday: 98 - Family

Here it is Tuesday again, so 20 Questions Tuesday: 98 – Family is coming at you.

Thanks this week go to JA Coppinger, Capt. McArmypants, Lsig, Belsum, Allrileyedup, and JW.

Peefer, Wifey and is on a kick to whip something up to use with your questions for next week, so don’t think I forgot you there. Heck, I am not even sure you read this blog anymore.

Anyway, on to the questions:

1. Do parents ever see their kids as older than 12? Will you be able to see yours as adults?
Some parents really do, but they are rare. I hope that as Little Man and Q grow up and mature that Wifey and I will grow up and mature as parents as well.

2. Siblings – how do people raised at the same time, in the same place, by the same people, turn out SOOOO different?
I. Have. No. Idea. It truly is amazing.

3. When was the first time you realized the way your family did things was not the only way – or even necessarily “normal”?
I think I was in college at the time.

4. What does “family values” even mean?
That the frozen meal is supposedly big enough for a family to eat it, you glutton.

5. Who has more cause to be more resentful/jealous of their sibling? Zan of Jana or Tito of Jermaine or LaToya of Michael or Cain of Abel.
LaToya of Michael. They are both crazy, but he is crazy with crazy money, which makes him able to shrug off the legal issues..

6. Why does no one love the middle child? WHYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?
Because they are rather whiney.

7. In many cultures, large extended families live together under the same roof Grandparents to grandchildren. Everybody takes care of each other and the elderly are not marginalized to 2 hour visits at the "home" once a month. How dumb is that!?!?
A-men.

8. Describe your family in one word.
Anachronistically-Denial-Ridden... is that one word?

9. How many siblings do you have? How many does Wifey have?
I have one older brother and Wifey has no “full-siblings”, but a menagerie of “half-siblings.”

10. On a scale of 1 to 10, how crazy is your family (consider mine about a 9)?
For this question, I am considering “Family” to include my parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and their spouses and children. I am not including Wifey’s fam because she has a blog, damn it!

This is an interesting question because from the outside my family seems fairly innocuous. No arrest records, no psyche ward trips, etc… So from the outside I would say probably about a 4 or 5. They seem “no crazier than most.” As you delve in deeper and realize how many people aren’t looking at the same blue sky or think opening a llama farm is the key to their yet-to-be- success, that number goes up to a 7 or 8.

11. I find that distance makes the heart grow fonder when it comes to some members of the family. Do you agree?
I agree that you find that distance makes the heart grow fonder when it comes to some members of your family.

12. I’m leaving on Friday for a week long family reunion at a beach house in NC. Does this make you shudder or are you jealous? (Incidentally, only 43 of us are coming this time but I can not wait to see everyone!)
I believe I shudder, but not from jealousy. Yep, definitely shudder.

13. Do you have separate birthday parties for the Little Man: one for his/your friends and one for family?
We have had, and seem to continue to have multiple parties for Little Man. Some are no more than “play dates” but it makes this month a birthday extravaganza.

14. Should family secrets be let out or should they stay hidden? Why?
I am a big proponent that family secrets should be open-aired somewhat. You don’t want to hurt anyone, so maybe it is not a good idea to create and advertise a web-site associated with your family secrets, but I also think that secrets should be less secret so that people will realize the craziness of their family is really pretty normal.

15. What is the etymology of the word “family?” What should it be?
I was going to act like I knew this, but here is the link to where “Family” comes from. As far as etymological roots are concerned, this is fine. I think that in practicality, family can mean any group of people that you feel most comfortable around.

16. One of Jack Handey's deep thoughts are "it's a shame when families are torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs." any thoughts on this?
Depends on the family being torn apart.

17. Do yetis have families? Care to elaborate on the hippo family unit?
Yetis have a system very similar to bears. Cubs stay with mother’s until they hit adulthood and then strike it on their own. Fathers are solitary beasts that occasionally have conjugal relations. Hippos are weird. There does not seem to be any especially strong bonds except between mothers and daughters and mothers and young males. No one really knows why they congregate into pods.

18. What is Little Man's response if you ask him who his family is?
Mama, Papa, Little Man, and Q

19. Why did people think “All in the Family” was funny?
I have often wondered that. I also wondered why the local TV station had this show on immediately after cartoons on the weekday afternoons. GAH, just thinking of the theme song sends shivers up my spine.

20. Do you think the annoying family members actually know they are annoying and relish in it, or do you think they are blissfully unaware of the fact that they get on everyone's flippin' nerves?
I think that, like most people, family members are blissfully unaware of their annoyingness.


To recap:
Orange Rice for dinner tonight
Well, Little Man is having Orange Rice
I will find something else to eat
I am a bit tired of the Orange Rice
Still concepting something for Digital Thursday
I might see if I can get some hi-res inked stuff and color it up
Or I might see if I already have something of that ilk hanging about
Hanging about digitally, of course
Man, do I need some sleep
Listening to March of Death by Zach de la Rocha and DJ Shadow
Download it

20 Questions Tuesday: 97 - 4th of July

Sweet giblets and gravy the ‘rents get here this afternoon!

Enough about them and their meddling ways. Friday of this week is the 4th of July, and that has some significance in the U.S. of A. It turns out that as a nation we like to drink, eat grilled meat, and blow shit up.

Thanks this week to ACW, Dustin, Belsum, Lord Pithy, JA Coppinger, and Capt McArmypants.

On to the questions:
1. Any food traditions for the fourth? Picnic food: hot dog and hamburgers or fried chicken? Sides?
No food traditions to speak of. I am much more a hot-dog and hamburger guy. Corn on the cob, green beans, chips… it’s all good

2. Any out of town visitors?
My parents :(

3. Going to the Crew game? - tickets starting at $10....
Nope, eventhough it is only $10

4. Do you spend the fourth relaxing or doing chores around the house?
Typically a little of Column A and a little of Column B

5. Why is it that no matter how old I get, I still get excited at the prospect of fireworks? On a scale of 1-10: How much cooler are fireworks purchased on a tribal reservation as opposed to in the parking lot of a K-mart? What is the coolest thing you ever did with fireworks (“coolest” from the point of view of a 13 yr. old male)?
You are still an adolescent at heart. As for the 1 to 10 thing it depends on the amount of fire water purchased as well. My borther and I would have a 5th of July celebration where we would explode models with left over fireworks. It was pretty cool

6. Has Little Man learned to love blowing things up yet?
Little Man is not a fan of Fireworks. For some silly reason, Columbus’s big fireworks display is on the 3rd, the local neighborhood display is on the 4th, and Crew Stadium will be lighting them off on the 5th. Those three nights, regardless of weather, the house will need to be closed and fans/AC running to drown out the explosions that scare Little Man.

7. How many times have you seen Independence Day? Is President Whitmore’s speech before the final battle pretty much the awesomest thing or what?
I have seen ID4 maybe 1.5 times. I thought it was horrible. I did not like one bit of it. So Whitmore’s speech did absolutely nothing for me, even though it was delivered by acting juggernaught Bill Pullman

8. Do you prefer seeing the big civic displays of fireworks or setting off your own explosives with neighbors?
I like the more intimate affairs with greater probability of bodily harm.

9. Who is your favorite Founding Father and why?
Alexander Hamilton… he’s dreamy

10. With 200+ years of hindsight, did the founding fathers really do us any favors?
I think the ideals that have underpinned the mythology associated with the US is the best favor. True that mythos is not their intention or even remotely the reality, but the myth is pretty awesome.

11. Which is the greater irony: "Land of the Free" or "Home of the Brave"?
Land of the Free

12. If given a time machine, would you agree to go back and sign your name to the Declaration even larger than Hancock's? Still with the time machine, what rider would you attach to the document?
I think I would LOLSign the Declaration: Iams sining yur papur, dclarin NDpendens, LOL SRH

13. Inalienable or unalienable: which is correct?
Unalienable is the one on the paper, but both are recognized words.

14. How do you see the 4th: day off for beer and burgers, or an important flag waving kinda day?
I am not an important flag waving kind of guy.

15. Is there any point to watching fireworks on TV?
Nope

16. What’s your personal take on the Declaration of Independence (250 words or less!)

Hey, George!
Suck it!

17. So why is Independence Day such an awesome film? I mean it so full of plot holes and logic errors that it is painful to think about and yet in the end it comes together so well?!
It is not an awesome film. Next you will be telling me that Titanic was a cinematic wonderland.

18. Honestly which is a bigger mockery of the original intent of the holiday? Xmas or Independance Day? Is it a tie? I mean sure one deals with religion and should make it a shoe-in for a bigger mockery, but at least if you want to take Xmas "seriously" you know where to start, but with the 4th? I mean most people don't even think about it.
Xmas is more of a mockery.

19. So is there anything that has failed to keep its childhood wonderment than fireworks, aside from possibly trips to the zoo? I mean when I was a wee one I was alllllll psyched for fireworks, now they are actually kinda a nuisance for me. I would actually prefer to see a nice quiet starry night than one with fireworks. You?
I was pretty ambivalent about fireworks prior to Little Man hating them. Now, I just want them to go away so my little boy can sleep

20. I usually don't give to the Holiday Santa's on street corners with their stupid bells, but I would totally cough up a few bucks to roving bands of crippled fief-players/drummers carrying a tattered colonial flag. So why have none of the charities targeted my demographic?!?!
Your demographic, while stacked with chips, is still teeny tiny, and marketing campaigns are more shot-gun blasts than sniper fire.


To recap:
My parents are already here and it is waay too early
They might accidentally poke mama bear with a pointy stick
They don’t want to poke mama bear with a pointy stick
Nobody wants to poke mama bear with the pointy stick
Whatever happened to Bronson Pinchot?
That has to be a bitter man
I am checking out of here early today
With enough caffeine in my system, I might be able to run just enough interference
I’ve got my Mountain Dew
I’ve got my keys
I have a damsel in distress
I have a mission

20 Questions Tuesday: 96 - Get back to work, you

So, I am now back at work. Let me tell you something: After 2 and a half weeks of basking in the glow of love that is my family, going back to work sucks. I am tired and cranky. Oh, and I don’t like people. So today’s 20 Questions will be about that process of going back to work.

Thanks this week to Dustin, Belsum, Dr B Dawg, and Sparky. On to the questions


1. On a scale of 1 – 10: How hard was it to get out of bed this morning (assuming you made it to bed in the first place).
π... mmmmmmm pie

2. What does one pack for lunch on their triumphant “RETURN TO WORK DAY!”
One goes out to lunch

3. How many new pictures of your little bundle of joy do you have to add to your desk?
I am a modern man. I have many a picture on a thumb drive

4. Estimated number of gallons of coffee you’ll need to consume to make it through the week?
Zero. What don’t you people get? I don’t drink coffee. The taste never lives up to the aroma.

5. Did anyone steal your stapler while you were gone?
Nope. I still have my 2 staplers and 4 pairs of scissors

6. What percentage of your 239 emails can you just delete or move to another folder and call it good enough?
10 were honest to goodness work related, so that works out to just over 4%.

7. Is it easier to come back after a short absence or a long one?
I would imagine a shorter break would have made it somewhat easier. Also spending the time with family that I don't like would have made the return easier as well.

8. Do your co-workers expect you to be fully engaged right away or do you get an unofficial grace period for your brain to adjust?
There was an un-official grace period. Yesterday was pretty much a wash between clearing my email inbox and conversing with everyone about baby stuff.

9. Are standard office supplies as a group (wooden pencils, pens, notepads, printer paper) in the top five for most environmentally wasteful things around?
I don’t think so. I think fast food packaging is up there and pizza boxes. Most recycling centers cannot use pizza boxes.

10. Did you arrive at work with a picture of the new one?
I have her hospital picture in my wallet and 24 other images on a thumb drive.

11. Future stay at home dad?
I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I need non-kid centered conversation.

12. Do you have a workday avatar?
Nope

13. So far today, what's been the most frequently asked question?
“So, you gonna have any more?” I swear to God, if I could stab some people in the eye...

14. How much Mountain Dew did it take before you could form a complete sentence this a.m.?
A good 20oz. A better question would have been “How much Mountain Dew did it take before you could form a coherent sentence this a.m.?”

15. How do you think mommies cowgirl up for returning to work after a 3-month maternity leave? Let's not forget that during their absence they, oh I don't know, gave birth to a child and have been getting zero sleep!
I have no idea how they do it… simply no idea.

16. If you were a full-time, stay at home dad for 5 years and had to return to the workplace, what job title and description would you give those 5 years on your resume?
Freelance team manager

17. Do you think professional athletes dread going "back to work" once their off-season is over? I mean really, "Oh man, I have to golf today...and get paid for it!"
You sound bitter. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

18. Was there a party waiting for you at work?
No :-( and my birthday was this weekend too. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I had to buy my own lunch and everything.

19. Have you even done any work since you came back in?
A little.

20. There is no Question 20
Oh, thank goodness. I couldn’t bear to answer another question about coming back to work.

To recap:
I need to bring my iPod docking station back into work
Played a bit with SketchUp today
It is an interesting program
So far all I have been able to do is modify other people’s models
Soon I shall bring about models of my own
Then all shall fear me
Umm…. Where was I?
I need to take some time and get some Copic Markers
Maybe that is a trip I can make at lunch tomorrow
Listening to people working all around me
The near rhythmic clicks of mouses mice meese clicky thingers and the tappa tappa tappa of keyboards
Lulling… me…
To…
Sleeeeeeeeeep

20 Questions Tuesday: 95 - 2 of them?

Having a second child is riddled with emotion. There is a certain amo0unt of loss associated with no longer have a solitary child and solitary responsibility of raising that one. There is something glorious adding to a family. If done correctly, the new child does not fill a void, the new child merely makes things “more complete.” So today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is about our having a second child.

Thanks this week go to lsig, Capt Mc Armypants, Lord Pithy and Wifey.

On to the questions:
1. How long is Q going between feedings?
On average I would say that she is eating every 2 hours or so. There are some 3 to 4 hour spaces between feeding, but there are also some 1 hour issues as well.

2. Is this 2-kid thing easier or harder than you expected?
Yes, and no. Yes, because when we had Little Man, when he slept, we slept. So there was a bit more potential for small shots of sleep. No because now we have a 4.9 year old who is firmly ensconced in his typical human circadian rhythms. Now, we no longer have the luxury of sleeping when Q is sleeping because Little Man is up and running with scissors.

3. How is Little Man adjusting to the interloper?
He is doing well. I imagine it will really come to a head when she gets more interactive and demanding more attention… that will be the test. Right now she is either eating, getting changed or sleeping.

4. You claim not to be overly sleep-deprived. Can Wifey say the same?
The funny thing with not “overly sleep deprived” is that you can easily turn the “overly sleep deprived” corner with just one bad night. We like to call those Monday nights.

5. Is this the Best Thing Ever?
It is really flipping close. I would imagine the wheel and sliced bread might take on more cultural and human significance, but this is up there for Casa Del SRH.

6. So when I was a kid and sleep deprived I would get all giggly and punchy. As an adult I find that I just get really really cranky and want to punch things? Does this mean I am better at being sleep deprived or is this just the natural evolution of "punchy"?
I believe this is the natural evolution of “punchy.”

7. Don't you feel in the future both your kids would try harder at school if they knew only one college education would be paid for?
I think it would be a real kicker to make Little Man wait 4 years to see if he could go on to college. Advantage Q.

8. There are several "methods" of sleeping less to gain efficiency. They have all these charts with bio-rhythms and when you should wake up and promises that if you just do it for a few weeks it will see completely natural. They all promise that you will be come more efficient and have more time in the day. Honestly, how proactive do you think a guy who messed with his sleep schedule and wrote a book about it really is? I mean does this sound like a busy guy or some loser coming up with things to do?
There is a certain amount of credibility to acclimating to a schedule. Just like acclimatizing to high elevation, I imagine the body can get used to chronic sleep debt. To write a book about it though seems a bit loser-ish.

9. As I get older I really believe that if I could just get another set of eyes and trade them out day on / day off I would need half as much sleep. Concur or dis-concur?
Concur.

10. When was the last time you had the falling dream? If recently, can you stop yourself now? I know I break 4th wall all the time now. Would you say this is apathy or practice?
I have never really had the falling dream, but in my “nightmarish” dreams I have taught my subconscious some abilities to retain some amount of lucidity. So I have had some ability to break the fourth wall and make my nightmares into the dance party of my dreams… literally.

11. Using the Brady kids as archetypes, who is Little Man, and who is Q?
Remind me which boy was the train obsessed, severely asthmatic one with the multiple food allergies and which girl was the newborn.

12. If you could travel back in time 10 years, what advice/insight would you attempt to offer the pre-parental SRH?
Simplify.

13. Now that you have a daughter, has your view on the appropriate age for a first date changed?
Nope.

14. What's your favorite Noggin show?
The Upside Down Show.

15. What do you expect Q's first four-letter word to be? What was Little Man's?
Q: Mutha Fuckah (while technically not a “four-letter” word per se, I believe it fits the criteria. We are teaching her right)
Little Man: Shit

16. Why does she poop right after we change her?
The only thin I can think of is that by wiping her butt we are somehow stimulating her behind to let loose with the poo. Kind of like a mama cat cleaning her kittens.

17. Whose kid is this? She doesn’t look like you or me.
No kidding. I saw her come out of you, so she is definitely yours, what… what are you trying to tell me?

18. Would it be so hard to have multiple color selections for pack and plays?
No shit. How hard could it be to make the same model in 3 different fabrics? Not everyone’s living room is decorated by jungle animals in lime green.

19. Sweet Ani DiFranco! We need to go grocery shopping!
That isn’t much of a question, but you are right.

20. Do you mind if I take a 30 minute nap?
Not at all.


To recap:
It is difficult getting these done during the day
We are nigh out of everything in the cupboards areas
My back is a bit sore
When I was actually sleeping, I must have done it wrong
That is a kick in the pants
Don’t get to sleep much, and when I do it is wrong
My birthday is this Saturday
I just remembered that
So what did you guys get me?
Listening to Little Man play with trains
I am about to join him

20 Questions Tuesday: 94 - Impending Arrival

So this evening, Wifey will be induced to bring about the birth of our soon to be baby girl. There are many things about today that are a bit bittersweet. It is the last day of our family being the trio of Little Man, Wifey and SRH. There is some sadness associated with that. Now, I will not be unconsciously focusing solely on my little boy.

Tomorrow my attention (both conscious and unconscious {“unconscious attention?” WTF, SRH? [shut up, you! How did you get in my parenthetical asides anyway?{your love of words has cost you dearly this time, SRH… [that doesn’t even make sense. We should get back to the thought at hand, agreed? {agreed.}]}]}) will need to be split. That makes me somewhat sad.

Anyway… today’s topic will be about the impending arrival. Thanks this week go to ACW, Lord Pithy, Belsum, Lsig, JACoppinger, allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants, Sparky, Dustin, DR B-Dawg, and Jay. I would also like to thank Peefer, Karen, tree-monkey, and atmikha for their well wishes.

On to the questions:
1. Pitocin - a godsend or a taste of hell on earth?
Pitocin is quite possibly derived from the tears of an infected and slowly dying daemon. Pitocin is a fire. It consumes without mercy. It conflagrates whatever is near. It is made of the molten pitch known as hate and is meant to cause as much pain and suffering as the daemon could hope to wreck in its fleeting immortal existence

2. Any favorite music in the hospital bag?
I am not sure. Wifey picked out a playlist, but I do not know what she picked. From what I have gleaned over many a conversation, the Duchess will most likely not be brought into this world to the dulcet tones of one Ani DiFranco, because Wifey is not calm whilst listening to Ani.

3. May I have her? If "no," may I name her? If "no," may I babysit her? If "no," may I help deliver her? If "no," have I blown all chances of visiting her?
No. No. No. No. Maybe

4. Did you have another baby shower?
Nope.

5. Does Little Man have to share a room with his sister?
To sleep in? No. But he will have to share all the communal rooms

6. Does Wifey have a Birth Plan?
Once pitocin is involved, birth plans go out the window.

7. Do you really think you are ready for this?
Hell to the No

8. Will you get up for night feedings even if . . . well, if YOU are not needed?
I will be needed. I will need to. I will find ways to be helpful. There is always use of a partner during the fist weeks of late night feedings.

9. Have you calculated how many pots of coffee you’ll need to make it through the first week?
I am a Mountain Dew man. I believe I will need to rent a fountain drink dispenser.

10. What outfit does Wifey have packed to wear at the hospital post birth?
She has two different things. One is a night gown, and the other is a pajama set. One is better for when the doctors and nurses want to check on her hoo-ha, the other seems more conducive to breast feeding.

11. Be honest - have you made fun of those weird netted underpants that they give to all the moms in the hospital?
Those things look funny as hell, but when new mom says they are the most comfortable ever, there has to be something to that.

12. So will you be calling this child by her middle name or her first name?
Maybe first only or a combo of the two. We really do not know yet.

13. So do you intend to sleep at work from now on or just fall over dead in a few years from exhaustion?
Is there a combination of the two?

14. What aspect of having a baby in the house again are you looking forward to the most?
The cuddles. How a small babe will just melt into you.

15. What songs do you think you'll sing to baby? What songs do you think Little Man might sing to baby?
Hmmm, I am not sure I will sing any particular song, but Little Man will most likely sing some songs from Wow Wow Wubbzy, or Yo Gabba Gabba.

16. Baby’s room color: pink, blue, or the gender neutral color of sea foam green?
I did not realize that sea foam green was gender neutral. Especially, since it is typically paired with dusty rose. Ah, 1986 we do miss you

17. New baby is more or less conducive to blogging?
Way less. Any added responsibility will adversely affect my blogging availability. After I get into a good routine, I might need to re-evaluate this 4 times a week blogging thing.

18. Will the Duchess arrive in a carriage with horses?
Wifey hates that this thought is even out in the universe

19. When you've been carrying around another human being in your belly for 9 months, is "induced" the best word?
“Induced” is better than “extracted”

20. Any ideas about whose personality she will be influenced by? (yours?/ Wifey's?/ Little Man's)
All three with a good mix of her own genetics.



To recap:
Tomorrow’s post will hopefully just be stats and a pic
The hospital has free wi-fi so at least I will be able to surf the net
Oh, here is our new bathroom


Jealous?
Oh, yeah, I’m so getting my J on
Listening to Be Happy from that YouTube vid I linked in Question 15

20 Questions Tuesday: 93 - A la The Hour

This week’s 20 Questions Tuiesday is submitted by themikestand from Speak into the Mike. Thanks Mike. I will let you take over since there is some ‘splaining to do.

As promised, here is your 20 Questions Tuesday topic, in the form of 2-20, a two minute interview format which has been popularized in Canada by George Stroumboulopoulos and his news show, The Hour.

You have two minutes to answer these questions (I won't time, so feel free to do so. Or not.You should probably give yourself five minutes, just because you have to type and all.) Don't feel the need to justify your answers. Elaborate when and if you see fit. How much easier could this get?!

Begin:
1. Paper or Plastic?
Plastic

2. Who would win in a fight? McCain or McDuck?
McDuck – better funded

3. New York or L.A?
Neither

4. Crocs, or clogs?
Birks

5. You've got $5 in your pocket and you're snackish. Do you buy chocolate, candy, or fast food?
Fast food

6. Disneyland/world or 4-Star-resort on the Mayan Riviera?
Disneyworld – Darn you kids and ruining my Mayan vacation

7. College or Trade School?
College

8. Foreign accents: Australian, or Indian (the subcontinent)?
Australian, mate

9. A $20 bill, two $10 bills, or four $5 bills?
$20

10. Fashion: Shoes always match the belt, or always try to make sure you're wearing underwear?
Underwear, shoes can be a statement. Underwear is a necessity.

11. Curry: Awesome or Awful?
Awful

12. Sega or Nintendo?
SSSSSSSSssssssssssega!

13. Bumper stickers: Yea or Nay?
Nay

14. Apples, or Oranges?
Apples

15. DIY (do-it-yourself) or leave it up to the experts?
Depends

16. DVD Audio or Vinyl?
DVD Audio

17. Restaurants: Paper napkins and ketchup packets, or white tablecloths and snooty sommeliers?
Ketchup packets a go go

18. Speed limit, or 5 miles over?
5+

19. Imperial or Metric?
Everyday Use: Imperial
More Common Sense: Metric

20. Which is easier: Blogging, or reading and commenting?
Reading and commenting

Good work!
You don't know that

To recap:
That was the quickest 20 Questions Tuesday evar!
Thanks Mike!
I will post pics when the kitchen is done
It will be nice for the kitchen to be done
I already have Thursday’s Digital Thursday done
Cleaning out a car seat tonight
Might be nice to have that done prior to going to the hospital
Tomorrow Wifey goes off of resting
Have I got a list for her to do
Listening to Angels and Airwaves’ Distraction from We Don’t Need to Whisper
It reminds me of this which makes me smile because it makes Little Man smile

20 Questions Tuesday: 92 - Random 2

Here is the second installment of the 20 Questions Tuesday round of Awesome Randomness.

Thanks this week go to Allrileyedup, Dustin, Peefer, and the ever soooo pregnant Wifey.

To the questions:
1. Who do you think is the greatest rock guitarist of all time?
Hendrix is up there, of course, but I think you have to go back to Les Paul.

2. Why do people like Bon Jovi?
I have no idea. There is nothing that I can discern that should differentiate them from the myriad of other mediocre hair bands of that time. Why they made it and others didn’t is a doctoral dissertation waiting to happen.

3. Do you think the scene in Mr. Deeds with John McEnroe is funniest part of the movie?
Have not seen the movie. I am not a huge Sandler fan.

4. Is it mean spirited to shave hairy dogs down in the summer?
This is mean spirited… Shaving them in the winter and forcing them to wear sweaters would be mean-spirited.

5. If you had to choose between eating a glass of cooled bacon fat with a spoon or drinking a glass of spoiled milk, which would it be?
You had me at bacon… mmmmmpig

6. Why are curly haired individuals so much more superior to normal haired plebeians?
It is quite a burden, isn’t it? I would imagine it has something to do with the sparkling personalities that accompany naturally occurring curly hair.

7. Am I wrong to think that everything between New York City and Philadelphia is an industrial wasteland?
I am hard pressed to disagree with this sentiment. That area is pretty much a depressing bit of industrial blight. I am sure there are pockets of nice there, but they are small and filled with lint.

8. Crazy old dudes in Austria, wtf?
I know... I hear they eat babies...BABIES!

9. Assuming Web 2.0 is real, what will Web 3.0 look like?
Hopefully not Second Life… ewwwww

10. Why does a “kidney punch” sound so much more painful a normal punch? I mean, do kidneys even have nerve endings?
Kidney punches make you pee blood. Do I need to go into any more detail as to why it sounds more painful?

11. What is your favourite type of bread?

Warm

12. Do you remember ever peeing your pants?

Yes, regardless of my long memory of pissing myself, this is quite possibly the most random question I have gotten.

13. Water up your nose or sand in your mouth: what is worse? Please explain.

Water up the nose… at least it can have a cleansing side effect… that does not include the scouring power of sand.

14. What's the dumbest thing you dressed up as for Hallowe'en?

R2-D2

15. Highest and lowest places (on land) you've ever been? Any plans for higher and/or lower?
Highest is Mount Evans in Colorado at 14,264 ft (4347.667 m) and the lowest would be Oostende, Belgium at 13 ft. (3.96 m) that I know of. As far as plans? Elevation is rarely a consideration in traveling plans.

16. “Darn Barn!” Please explain.
Little Man has determined that this will be his new invective phrase. No more “Summmamabitch” or “GAWTDamnIT!” for him anymore. He is relying on Darn Barn to illustrate his frustration. When asked “why” he relates that it is due to the rhyming.

17. What was your reluctance to getting the new PC?
The old one hadn’t completely died yet. It is no longer in existence now though. I clearly had run it into the dirt, but it is difficult to get myself new toys.

18. Does your underwear match Little Man’s today?
Yes, in an attempt to ensure a dry night for Little Man I “bribed” him with similar underwear. We are both wearing red boxer briefs.

19. You are having Manwich tonight for dinner. Not really a question as much as fact
I am aware of this. It could be worse.

20. Realistically where do you want to go for your next vacation?
I was thinking that here are some strong possibilities associated with Canadia


To recap:
Last night was a rough one
The Duchess’s room is all painted
Furniture will migrate into there this weekend
Hopefully the office will be painted done today
Then we can move all the office furniture out of the Dining room and into the office
I still have lots to do to set up the new PC
Listening to The Octopus Project’s The Adjustor from One Ten Hundred Million

20 Questions Tuesday: 91 - Random 1

There comes a time in a 20 Questions Tuesday blogger’s life when he needs a break from coming up with topics for questions. During those rare, brief times that blogger calls out to the twisting nether for his questioneers to question him in a more thoughtless random pattern. Well, readers, that time is now, and it seems next week

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Belsum, Sparky, Capt Mc Armpants, Scott St.Pierre, and Pami Jo.

On to the questions:
1. Do you believe in coincidence?
Yes, I do. Happenstance and I are long acquaintances. I also believe that some things are more than coincidence.

2. What color are your shoes?
Brown leather, tan leather, olive mesh, with lime green stripes. They RAWK

3. Star Wars fans vs. Star Trek fans- compare and contrast.
Star Wars and Star Trek fans are not mutually exclusive categories. Keeping that in mind, I understand that the more rabid fans of one genre may not agree with the other. Therefore I can make these distinctions. Star Wars is for the more martial of the geeks. The ones that thrive on the bounty that is hack and slash. Conflict is resolved in person with a light saber and a blaster. Star Trek is for the more cerebral. Not that it is more “thinking” than star wars, just that it is more distant. The conflict and conflict resolution in Trek is typically ship to ship and impersonal. Photon torpedoes and phaser banks win the day in that universe. I would say that Star Wars is the Marines and Star Trek is the Navy.

4. Why do we sing our babies to sleep with a song about them falling out of trees? What's that about?
I have often wondered that one. How bout we sing a song about safely floating or un-threateningly rocking to sleep?

5. How are you?
I have been better. You?

6. Budweiser and Clamato: discuss.
Ummm… wow. I am not a fan of Bud nor of Clamato. I can’t help but think this is a virulent gastronomical explosion waiting to happen.

7. Dill pickle potato chips versus ketchup potato chips versus roast chicken potato chips.
I have to choose one? Ewwwwwww.

8. Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, or Jade?
Hal Jordan

9. Why isn’t Kyle Minogue more popular in the US?
I honestly can’t think of any good reason.

10. Who’s your favorite Pope and why?
Hmmm… I am clearly most familiar with JP2, so I will have to go with the most recent non-current Pope. As far as Catholic doctrine goes, JP2 was really pretty progressive. He brought about many institutional changes that have set the plate for the following Popes to continue the modernization process.

11. What's your favorite libation?
Hmmm… Alcohol and I no longer agree with each other. I think I might be allergic to the stuff. Recently if I have the equivalent of a shot of whiskey or a beer, the following morning is like I have been on an all night binge drinking display of human debauchery. So, even if I am just being social with a couple beers or a glass of wine, I pay the price as if I had gotten ripped. I just stay away from it now unless drunkenness will be possible. If that is the case, I drink beer.

12. If you had to over-decorate your cubicle with a ceramic collection of something, what would you choose?
Hummels. It would be expensive, but it would freak people out for a 33 (soon to be 34) year old guy to have a collection of Hummels at work.

13. Would you pass the dutchie on the left hand side?
Get yer own Dutchie. I love that it is a bunch of kids singing this. Did you know one of them spent some time in the slammer for drug possession? Quelle Surprise?

14. Inquiring minds want to know more about your tatts.
No they don’t. I only have one. It is on the center my back just above my shoulder-blades. That’s all you get.

15. Chef Ming Tsai is coming over to cook dinner for you and the fam. What do you hope he prepares?
Not sure, maybe the Oven Roasted Pork Ribs, I think I would want a more traditional BBQ sauce and with maybe a ginger kick to it.

16. Why do we still use the English measurement system?
If there is one thing the US does well, it is stick to its guns no matter what evidence to the contrary may point to.

17. Public education. How do you fix it?
The metric system... duh. Sheesh, do I have to fix everything?

18. At what point during a town meeting are you most likely to drop your drawers and moon the mayor?
You know the point of the meeting where the one guy who just gets up to the mic and complains for 20 minutes about the smell of socks? When he’s done. Truth be told, there isn’t a “wrong” moment.

19. If time heals all wounds, why do we need doctors?
If we take the definition of “heal” to be “to free from ailment.” Then time does indeed heal all wounds, for given enough time the free-ing from ailment will be the sweet release of death.

20. If it snows & accumulates say 8 inches what would the total accumulation be if it had been rain?
It depends on the relative sogginess of the snow. The colder the weather it is, the more snow it take to equal an inch of rain. For super cold weather it could take up to 20 inches of snow to equal 1 inch of rain water. For those sloppy snowfalls where it is hovering just below freezing the ratio can be as close as 2 or 3 to 1. The average that is used is 10 to 11 inches of snow for 1 inch of rain.

To recap:
Details seem to be the only things left for the remodel
Cutting tiles
Grouting
Staining the window frames and the new BATHROOM door
Then we move the office downstairs…
Maybe even this weekend
I am giddy with excitement
Sooo close
Painting
I needs to gets me some lunch
Listening to Don’t Make me a Target by Spoon off of Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

20 Questions Tuesday: 90 - The Sun

Here we are at 20 Questions Tuesday. Instead of the format used in the past 2 installments I have brought back the begging for questions. The simple topic I lobbed their direction was “The Sun.” This time the begging brought forth fruit. My guess is that people like the sun.

Thanks this week go to Belsum, Capt McArmypants, Allrileyedup, Lord Pithy, and Lsig.

On to the questions:

1. Every morning while I was in Syria I would sing “Here Comes the Sun” to myself. What’s your favorite George Harrison song?
I would have to go with “Got my Mind Set on You”

2. My nickname all through school was Sunny. Did you have any nickname and do you still use it?
As far as I know I was nicknameless, this statement does not include what I might have been referred to behind my back.

3. I have a tattoo of a sun on my left hip. Any tattoos?
Of course, I am all tatted up... ok well not quite all tatted up

4. Do you feel the Sun judges you constantly?
…. Yeeees. I tire of it’s unyielding stare. I will have my day, Sun. I will have it!

5. Do you have a plan for the hot hot sun making your steering wheel unbearably hot to the touch or do you just go ow ow ow for the first 5 minutes of the ride home? Is that even a problem in Ohio?
I have not really had this issue much here. In ‘Bama? sure, but here? not so much.

6. So you seem to be just about the palest human in the world? It is like deep sea fish belly white. Is there some sort of eventual goal to this like bioluminescence that you are going for?
One should always strive for bioluminescence. I am just closer than most.

7. Solar Power? Do you think the orbital collectors will be our eventual salvation or about the same time we can make them cost effective, the ground based solar farm efficiency will have improved to be competitive and much easier to maintain making it a superior trade off in terms of logistics v. efficiency. Does the solar orbital stations remain more appealing due to the Death Laser from Space appeal? (don't go spouting that nonsense about death laser from earth that is bounced by mirror back to earth crap either.)
I think that for solar to be our energy savior; it will most likely have to be a combination of ground stations and orbital collection systems. As for the “death laser” situation, that would have to be from an orbital platform. Ground based with mirrors is stupid. If a mirror allows for reflecting the “deadly laser” back to a target, shouldn’t it destroy the mirror? Otherwise, why wouldn’t potential targets just cover themselves in mirrors?

8. So that one sunflower that does not follow the sun's path. Is he like stupid or something?
Capt McArmypants, you are that sunflower that does not follow the sun, you tell me. Are you stupid, or something?

9. Ever heard the sun song by they might be giants? What’d you think of it?
I think: the Sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is turned into helium at a temperature of billions of degrees (without looking it up)

10. Favorite sports team named after the suns? Isn’t a bit brazen to name your team the suns, anyway? “Look at us, we are the brightest shining star in our solar system; don't even look at us for we will BURN YOUR EYES!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!” (um, sorry...)
As far as I know, the Phoenix Suns are the only solar named team.

11. Favorite song titles to make use of the sun?
The aforementioned “Here Comes the Sun”

12. Does Little Man stare directly at the sun the moment you tell him not to or is that just something my defiant children do?
I have chosen not to tell him not to stare directly at the sun for this very reason. For Little Man is a contrary beast.

13. Sunrise or sunset? (Now I’m thinking of fiddler on the roof...)
Now, all I can think of is Fiddler on the Roof as well. Thanks a bunch! Jerk.

14. Posit a plasma entity that resides on Sol's surface. What would a typical small-talk conversation starter be?
Unintelligible and burny

15. Would the Brady kids really have been brave enough to "go for a walk outside now" if the summer sun had really been calling their names?
I don’t think so. When large balls of nuclear energy call your name from 93,000,000 miles, you don’t answer without considering the consequences

16. Who is your favorite sun god?
You have to ask? Kinich Ahau

17. If our sun were a red dwarf, would we call cherries "reds"? What would we call oranges?
If the sun were a red dwarf we would not be.

18. If you had a suit that allowed you to survive the trip, would you dive through the heart of our star?
Probably not. My eyes are extremely photo-sensitive anyway, so traveling into a super bright light is not the smartest of ideas for me. Plus that doesn’t even begin to address the physics associated with breaking free of those kinds of gravitational forces.

19. Why do you think in many cultures the Sun was considered a male diety?
Cause they were bright… ooooh burn!

20. Do you use sunscreen?
For the upper body, yes. Not so much on the legs.

Extra Questions:
21. Do you wear sunglasses?
All the time.

22. At night?
Well, I guess not exactly all the time, Ms Corey Hart.

23. I have heard that there's nothing new under the sun. Do you think there's anything new over it?
Everything new is over it.


To recap:
I am not into this today
Therefore I decree there will be no hyperlinks!
Different meaning to the sentence if you change it to:
I am not into this toady
Cause I am not all about the sycophants like that, yo!
I am trying to figure out a way to get me some Iron Man viewing in this weekend
I am failing miserably

here comes the sun,
doot in doo doo,
And I say it's all right

Little darling,
it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling,
it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun,
doot in doo doo,
here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling,
the smile's returning to the faces
Little darling,
it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun,
doot in doo doo,
here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling,
I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling,
it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun,
doot in doo doo,
here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun,
doot in doo doo,
here comes the sun,
It's all right
It's all right