The weekend that was

This morning whilst dropping Little Man off at G-ma’s and G-pa’s (his surrogate grandparents who watch him) G-ma met us at the door and asked Little Man how his weekend was. Let me fill you in on his weekend.

Little man’s weekend typically starts on Fridays. Thursday is the last day of the week that he is in childcare with the surrogate grandparents, and Friday starts the weekend for him since he is typically at home with his mama (wifey).

Well, on Friday it was rainy and he did not get to do much. Wifey and Little Man met myself and a co-worker for lunch at Wendy’s so’s he could get his chili on (hey, I am street like that!), and then went home for his afternoon nap. That afternoon he went to have a playdate with M and R’s kids A, F and E. There he decided to be a little crank and push around the 2 year olds F and E. Sorry E! After pushing around some kids who are only 2/3rds his age, we went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner. His favorite. He had his favorite fusilli with marinara sauce. He loved it. Ate the heck out of it, he did. (Ate t’ell outta it, ee did. – in Cockney. My Fair Lady my ass! ‘Enry ‘Iggins, Eat yer ‘eart out.) Anyway… We headed home, he watched some “Diesel” (a DVD of trains with very little narration and a hell of a lot of train noises) and then climbed the stairs for bed-time.

Saturday: Wifey took it upon herself to do the morning ritual with Little Man Saturday morning. I go to sleep in to 8:45. 8:45! Oh, it was heaven! Anyway… that was about me, this post is about Little Man’s weekend. Anyway, Wifey heads off to yoga and it is morning with papa. We played with pennies, flopped around on the bed, and various other filler activities before I got him dressed and out the door for some fun at the local Target (we needed more laundry detergent {ALL Free and Clear, baby!}). Whilst there he was transfixed with the Target line of Thomas the Tank Engine (Take Alongs) which are slightly smaller than the wooden trains, but not so small that a 3-yr old can tell the difference in size. He is enamored with Alfie the back-hoe. Just transfixed. So transfixed that he will not leave the aisle to pee. So after a brief trip to the Target family bathroom and a change to dry clothes we are back to staring at Alfie. By purchasing Alfie we were allowed to leave the store for a wonderful lunch at Yellow King (McD’s). Home for a nap and up again to play with mama who is back from Yoga and gift searching. Mama has a housewarming party to go to at 4:30 is and heads out leaving Little Man to deal with me again. He has seven “rectangles” for dinner. (A little bit of Irony here, so bear with me. Rectangles are called “rectangles” because they are Tyson Chicken Tenders that are found in a box instead of the large family sized bag {referred to as “Chickies”}. These particular Tyson Chicken tenders are formed in the shape of the characters of “Veggie Tales.” So, Little Man is eating chicken in the shape of tomatoes, egg plant and other vegatables. Just. Plain. Odd. Oh, the irony! Where was I? Oh, yes…) He watches another rousing round of “Diesel” and then up to bed for his bed-time ritual.

Sunday: Wifey sleeps in, unlike me, she had to ask if she could. I need to work on my considerateness, she should not have had top ask. Again, though, this post is about his weekend, not me. Little Man and I head downstairs for the morning ritual. Making his breakfast of toast with Vanilla Sugar on it. Wifey ambles downstairs at 8:30 (she don’t know how to sleep in) and then since the weather is looking great we decide to go for a Big Walk (a hike at a local metro park) with some friends who have an almost 2 year old, Ben. He was supposed to go to a classmate’s (OH SWEET JEEEZUS! HE HAS CLASSMATES NOW!!!) birthday party, but Big Walk was a bit much for his respiratory system to take and he needed a rescue breathing treatment. We had to cancel (Sorry Nadolny’s!). So then we are set for his nap. We all decide to nap this time around and the nap lasts extra long. All of us woke up later than we thought we would. Oh, well. C’est La vie.

We get up with just enough time for Wifey to get ready for her monthly Girls Night Out dinner (she was quite the social butterfly this weekend) and leave. Little Man’s Mimma comes over from a week away in Maine, and Little Man proceeds to climb and jump all over her to make up for last time. While all the climbing and jumping is taking place I am concocting one of his favorite meals, Orange Rice. Ground beef, tomato soup, and wild rice casserole ( I will give the recipe if anyone wants it). He proceeds to eat 3 full plates of the meal. Mim and I each only have 2. I honestly have no idea where he packs this food away. The whole meal (well after the second plate when he took time to breath and speak again) Little Man was saying, “Little Man Hungry. Hai Good Orange Rice!” Not really sure what “Hai” is but he seems to use it as an article much like a, an, and the mixed with the phrases this is or that is. Don’t know where he picked it up, but I digress. He eats 3 plates of Hai Good Orange Rice. Then upstairs for the bed time ritual. Since he (we) slept so late for nap time, we look up the Amtrak Zephyr on Google Images and he is in train nirvana prior to his bath.

That is his week in a nutshell, so how did he respond when G-ma asked how his weekend was?

Hai, Good Nap… Mama and Papa

To Recap:
You know it was a good nap when it is the highlight of your kid’s weekend
Wow, I really went parenthetical today
And tangential
Yes, tangential is a word
Tangentine is not
Nor is tangentesque or tangenty
I am looking forward to Heroes tonight
It will probably suck
Happy Birthday Youngest Nadolny!
Wifey won’t leave me alone via email today
Stop e-mailing, lady. I have a job

EKG or no EKG

Little Man’s EKG was this morning, or was supposed to be. More on the “supposed to be” later.

Firstly, I will not make anyone endure reading the whole post before they know whether or not Little Man was given a clean bill of health. He was is fine. The cardiologist said that there was a “buzzing” in his collarbone area and a “whirring” in his heart (his terms, not mine. I can’t make up medical terms like “buzzing” and “whirring.”), and that these are typical sounds most kids’ bodies make. It is just that Little Man is so “skinny” (again, his term, not mine) that there is a certain lack of tissue (that most kids have) to muffle the noise.

Okay, now that the paragraph about Little Man’s health is over, let’s talk about the visit.

So we get into the parking garage of Children’s Hospital in Columbus and start winding our way up to find a parking place. On the way up we had to deal with people who really had difficulty parking in confined spaces. This did not help the general stress level in the car, but Wifey and I recognized that we were showing how stressed we were and Little Man was soaking up the stress like a… ummm… stress sponge.

Anyway… we get into the office and start filling out paperwork. We had to use the back of the page when they asked us to list all medications. You know you have to give your kid too much medicine when at a specialist like a cardiologists office you have to use extra lines on their paperwork to describe you child’s drug regime. All that being said, it was really sad to see so many children there with circulation issues. Real, honest to goodness circulation issues. They were pale, eyes sunken in, out of breath just sitting there. It was bizarre seeing Little Man full of color, vim, and vigor in contrast to these kids with real issues. After completing the paperwork, and Little Man making a “Dirty Poop” it was our turn to go in to the Dr’s office.

So how did the office visit go? Welll…

Pure torture. Pure unabashed torture. Little Man is not big on the whole going to the doctor thing. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he hates it. Hates doctor’s offices with the fire of 1000 suns, especially if said doctor’s offices reside within the main campus of Children’s Hospital where Little Man has endured much and too often. He was traumatized by the scale, and by getting his height measured. Them he was traumatized by the blood pressure cuff (sphygmomanometer?) and the stethoscope. Then, after these traumas, the nurse, who was very personable and oddly not good with kids, tried to put a blood pressure cuff on Little Man’s leg. He was having none of it. The nurse stated “I can’t get a good read on this, because I can’t hear a thing!” Hey, Lady! Kid’s can feel shame! It is not his fault he is terrified by being in the Dr’s office. Cut him some slack! Where was I? Oh, yes, so after not being able to sit still for the leg blood pressure test, Little Man travels across the hall to get his EKG.

For this EKG they only needed 10 seconds of still clam behavior. In the EKG room Finding Nemo was on, piece of cake, Little Man loves Fishy! Well, Little Man loves Fishy when he is not having EKG pick-ups stuck to his torso and legs. We fought him for about a minute trying to get him not to pull off the pick-ups, but gave up on the whole EKG thing when he was reduced to a quivering mess of too stressed out readings. So his EKG was scheduled for today, but it did not happen. It tried to happen, but….

To Recap:
Cardiologist appointment was interesting
Little Man was arching his whole body like we were sticking him with a hot poker
I have to call software vendors today
I hate calling software vendors
Wifey and I are exhausted
Little Man is exhausted
The EKG was a diagnostic tool they couldn’t use in this case
Little Man’s heart murmur is exacerbated by stressful situations
I think getting checked for a heart murmur qualifies as a stressful situation
Pork Chops and Couscous for dinner tonight
The Dr was great with Little Man
The Columbus Crew sucks

Writing

I am writing a whole bunch of crap for work today coming up with requirements for my company to try and break into a newly emerged field of work. This task of actually writing for work is making the process of writing for blog a bit more difficult. It seems that I have a finite amount of writing in me per day, and unfortunately for this post, I have to focus on the work situation instead of the blog situation. Stupid work, getting in the way of my blogging!

Keeping my limit to my wordificationnessosity in mind, as this post gets longer, the less grammatical and cognitive sense it will probably contain. Thems the breaks.

Last night Little man and I went to Ted’s Montana Grill to celebrate Wifey and I exchanging our nuptials 9 years previous. Anyway… for their kid’s meal, Ted’s does not merely make a single child sized hamburger for the tiny tots to consume at their leisure. Rest assured tiny tots consume everything at their leisure. It is a fact of life. One can not speed up the eating of a tiny tot. To attempt to do so, will only backfire. Woefully, woefully, full-of-woely, backfire. No, Ted’s Montana Grill has decided that 3 smaller quarter sized patties are really what kids like. Unfortunately, they cook these itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie adult bite-sized burgers are cooked on the same surface that the gigantor adult sized burgers are prepared. This lead to my burger being done perfectly (it had a warm pink center and was nice and juicy), but left Little Man with 3 charcoal lumps to force down his gaping maw. They were not good. Not good at all. The fries sucked as well, but he loved the IBC Root Beer. The wee one drank almost an entire bottle of IBC. Burped like a lumberjack when he was done. He was proud. I was proud. The wait staff was mildly shocked. But all this is irrelevant.

The thing to keep in mind is that I only have a discrete amount of writing ability that can be called forth from my noggin on a daily basis. I cannot tap the universe for some ethereal infinite writing ability that professional prolific authors seem to be able to tap into. No my dear readers, I must rely upon the paltry limited chunk of writing capability that is lodged within my head.

It turns out that some sort of dairy cross-contamination occurred in the preparation of Little Man’s coal-esque meal because I noticed some hives appearing on his back during his evening bath. I have no idea if the dairy was introduced because of butter on the cooking surface or the fact that his French fries also had one lone dairy laden onion ring gracing the same plate. Regardless, I forced the little guy to have some Benadryl. This ingestion of foul elixir caused much mental anguish and anxiety to my wonderful little boy, who wept for 5 minutes due its the disturbing taste. He was up from about 2:30 this morning until about 4:00 am due to his belly attempting to deal with the dairy within. This morning, when he awoke at 7:30, he started farting deep and rumbly farts that could potentially register on the Richter Scale. The dairy induced sub-sonic gas emissions caused some discomfort to the wee one, and much discomfort to those around him. Those of you who have experienced allergy induced gas know exactly what I am talking about. The important thing to consider though, is that the above information is not even remotely germane to what I am attempting to focus on today.

The real focus of today’s post is on how I only have a restricted reserve of writing capability at my disposal. Today is all about the way in which my work writing is interfering with my ability to post.

To Recap:
It seems that I have a finite amount of writing in me per day
Ted’s can make some charcoal for kids to eat
I only have a discrete amount of writing ability that can be called forth from my noggin on a daily basis
Dairy causes much gas in Little man
I must rely upon the paltry limited chunk of writing capability that is lodged within my head
I like to consider myself a wordificationnessositition
I only have a restricted reserve of writing capability at my disposal
In summary SRH’s writing ability ≠ ∞
I will again being dealing with the parents this weekend
I am tired
Have a great weekend

Asthma DEFCON

I realize that yesterday I mentioned that we were at Asthma DEFCON 2. Well, today, I feel that it might be helpful for me to codify exactly what our Asthma DEFCON levels are, because, well, last night we shifted into Asthma DEFCON 1. I have stolen a page from the United States Military Nuclear Forces for my terminology here. In this case DEFCON stands for DEFense CONdition and refers to Wifey and my levels of readiness for Little Man’s asthma.

Here we go.

Asthma DEFCON 5: Little Man is doing just peachy. He is up to date on his maintenance meds, it is not too hot and not too cold outside without an insane amount of humidity. He has not been exposed to any allergens that he reacts to poorly in the recent past. Wifey and I are not concerned about a severe asthma attack occurring. This is a RARE state for the SRH household to be in.

Asthma DEFCON 4: Little Man might have coughed once. It is between October and May in the calendar year. Wifey and I have increased our vigilance in surveilling Little Man’s chest for signs of reatraction and other symptoms of labored breathing. Honestly, this is where Wifey and I reside most of the time.

Asthma DEFCON 3: He is most likely starting to get sick with some kind of virus or other such thing that kids typically get. Little Man’s breathing is “creaky” enough that we have started giving him supplemental breathing treatments twice a day with his rescue breathing treatments. Basically we have added to the Pulmicort and Foridyl aerosol cocktail both Xopenex and Atravent. This changes the aerosol treamnet from a benign 5 minutes of Little Man sitting still to a 30 minute battle of keeping the breathing mask on his face. Wifey and I are more aggressive about Little Man’s coughing. If there are more than one coughing fit in the span of 1 hour, we immediately move into Asthma DEFCON 2.

Asthma DEFCON 2: We are administering rescue breathing treatments every 4 hours. Little Man is clearly not feeling well. The virus of indeterminate origin is kicking Little Man’s ass, and Little Man’s breathing is suspect at best. Wifey and I are starting to lose sleep and contemplating when we should make the trip to the ER.

Asthma DEFCON 1: Little Man’s breathing is rather compromised. We are doing breathing treatments more than every 4 hours. We have increased the dosage of his aerosol steroid, and we are getting things ready for an eventual most probable trip to the ER. Wifey and I are both really sleep deprived and starting to labor with the idea of finishing sentences and completing thoughts.

Asthma EMERGICON: We are heading to the ER/DR’s Office because the breathing treatments are not giving him any sort of respitory relief. We have our portable DVD player and his allergen free snacks in tow. We are about to go on Orapred. Wifey and I are demoralized and exhausted. Demoralized due to the battle to keep Little Man off of Orapred, and exhausted because, well, we haven’t slept well in a while. Haven’t you been reading these?!?

After Asthma EMERGICON we are in the hospital for Little Man’s breathing. He has been hospitalized and we are even more sleep deprived and fighting with hospital staff about what Little Man can and cannot eat.

We are currently still at Asthma DEFCON 1 but it seems to be better than it was last night. I think we might be able to downgrade to Asthma DEFCON 2, but I don’t want to jinx it by hoping too fervently that we can do that. We have his ER bundle pretty much ready to go though.

To Recap:
I will probably refer to these Asthma DEFCONs often on the blog
Memorize them, there will be a test later
I am sleep deprived and shot full of caffeine
That’s right, in these cases of extreme fatigue I turn to my major vice… Mt. Dew
Hopped up on caffeine and sleep deprived makes me a bit snarky
Not sure what is for dinner
I will update the Asthma DEFCON level after Little Man gets up from his nap.

So it shall be written. So it shall be done...

I have decided that the best way for Wifey and I to enjoy our weekend away from Little Man is to get sick right before we leave. That way if I am absolutely miserable with the lack of contact with my wonderful little boy I can blame it on the malady and not my general wussitude. All my moody pouty looks will be attributed to my sinuses filling to the point of bursting. My vacant distraction will be attributed to my dependence on sinus medication to survive, not to my utter helplessness of not being near to Little Man just in case something goes wrong.

So, sorry Wifey, my decision is final. I will be sick this weekend so that you do not think me a weak weak pitiful man. Plus you gave it to me.

Okay, all things being equal, I really am fighting off some kind of crappy bug. I think Little Man gave it to Wifey, who in turn gave it to me. Little Man and Wifey seem to be on the edge of being non-sick. If they are both nice and recovered tomorrow, that would add a whole other level of “peace of mind” for me. I would hate to be out of town for the first time whilst the young one was not feeling good. I, on the other hand, am just now really starting to feel un-well from this particular illness. Tomorrow, I hope, should be the peak of my sickness. Then I hope I will start slowly feeling better (it has lingered for a long time with Little Man and Wifey… a loooooong time).

It will be really nice to just be able to spend some time with Wifey where we are not constantly trying to know what Little Man is doing (moving the sofa) or where Little Man is going (out the locked back door). That task we are leaving for Mimma. It will be refreshing for me to actually get caught up with the trials and tribulations in Wifey’s life that we currently do not talk about because even when the constant needy ball of need that is Little Man is asleep a conversation tends to get in the way of house up-keep and our sleep. It is true that Wifey may not be happy to re-hash everything, but this blog isn’t about her, now is it?

I am looking forward to getting out of the city. I need some time away.

To recap:
We leave tomorrow afternoon for a vacation without Little Man
It will be little more than a long weekend
Or an eternity, in some ways
I really am trying to fend off this malady before tomorrow but it seems like one of those things that just wants to linger
And linger it is…
Have a great weekend everyone

Wha Happen'd

Unlike most kids who seem to question answers to their questions with their 3 year old favorite question of “Why?”

Hypothetical yet Entirely Plausible Example

Time to go to bed
Why?
Because you need your sleep for tomorrow.
Why?
Because without sleep you will have no energy to do any fun playing tomorrow.
Why?
Because sleep re-enrgizes you.
Why?
Because your body only has a limited amount of energy.
Why?
Sweet Mother of God and All that is Holy, I will kill you if you keep asking “why?”
Why?
Because it is absolutely infuriating!
Why?
… you are dead and don’t even know it yet…


We in the happy SRH household get “Wha happen’d?” Sometimes the “’d” is silent. That is just how Little Man rolls. Sometimes when he is in a hurry it gets contracted even further ‘til it becomes something like “Wh’happun?” Little Man does not necessarily want to understand how things work, he wants a running play by play with running commentary. He will be playing and one of his myriad of trains will fall of the tracks to the train table surface and Little Man will ask, “Wha happen’d?” Little Man and I will be rolling a ball back and forth giggling like jibbering idiots, the ball will go under the TV cabinet and he will confusedly ask, “Wh’happen?”

What I think Little Man wants is:

For those of you just tuning in from the basketball game, it seems that Thomas the train is really building up a head of steam on Little Man’s outside track on the train table in the SRH Tyson Chicken Tenders Memorial Coliseum and Dining Room.

That’s right, Frank. An interesting note, while Little Man really likes making James the red engine a long train, Thomas is usually reserved for just his 2 typical passenger cars. The outside track on the table is perfect for building up speed.

Well, Pete, it looks as if Thomas is being set aside to get Percy into the action with his tanker cars.
Now that Percy is “out of the way” Thomas has a clear shot over the “Arched Viaduct” and into the turn-table.
Oh,MY! It looks as if Thomas has taken a tumble.

Little Man just got too much of a push on Thomas for the little wooden train to be able to handle the curved track at the top of the incline, and straight over the edge he went. This is a typical occurrence for Little Man’s usually over-zealous running of the trains. 1 out of every 4 circuits around the table ends up with some kinds of de-railing mishap.

That’s right, Pete, but this isn’t going to stop Little Man from playing trains.
Ooh, it looks like the tyrannical 3 year old is heading to the fridge for some “Orange Rice.”

The “Orange Rice” is actually a modified recipe from the Betty Crocker One-Dish Meals Cookbook. It started out as the Beef and Wild Rice Casserole and has been modified to meet Little Man’s allergen requirements…

To recap:
I am sure we will be venturing into the "Valley of 'Why?'" but we have not gotten there yet
T Minus 3 days until the vacation
Wifey and I are not willing to do play-by-play and color commentary
We just aren't
We have other things to do
No really
We have to cook, clean, do laundry
Sometimes kids cannot always get everything they want
I am definitely not going to hire anyone to do play-by-play or color
Get off my back already!
Wha Happen'd?

Papa Day

So, for yesterday’s Papa Day I took Little Man to the Zoo. These are a few of the things that I noticed whilst having the Papa day with my boy.

1. Not too many fathers by themselves with their kids at the zoo on a Tuesday Morning. There are boatloads of Mom’s with kids, and a surprising number of couples with their kids. As far as I could see, though, I was the only Dad at the zoo by myself with my kid. I am not sure what exactly this means, but it is something I noticed. With the lack of un-encumbered males at the zoo on that fine Tuesday morning, I was surprised at how many moms there seemed to be dressed like they were trolling. Looking for a little afternoon love on the sly, are we ladies? But with whom...

2. When Little Man does not know all the lyrics to a song he basically becomes my own little Flavor Flav in a car-seat. Let me explain. So in Public Enemy songs Chuck D is just hurling lyrics and Flav pipes up at the end of every other line with the last word. Flav also is known for starting out the songs with conversational questions being asked to, presumably, Chuck D. This is what Little Man does. For example: Weezer’s “Beverly Hills”

Where is Weezer? When is Weezer coming on?
CD Track starts to play….

Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap Crap!
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me as me!

Then, when it gets to the chorus he rocks the joint.

I am trying to teach Little Man to say “Ya, Ya, Come on now!” or “Check it out!”

3. Manatees are really really fat.

4. 3 year olds are good at stating and re-stating the obvious. Tigers sleep. Look, Tiger’s are asleep. When tigers get up? Tigers no wake up. When tigers wake up? Tigers sleep. Look tigers are asleep. When Tigers get up? Tigers no wake up. When tigers wake up?...

5. Unfortunately, grown ups always want to leave the zoo too soon. It’s enough to kill a little boys’ buzz – and he’ll let you know about it. Loudly. All the way home.

To recap:
It is only a matter of time before the Tigers get fat
They are some lazy lazy cats
The penguins are rather fun loving
Is it odd that the only deodorant in the house that seems to be working for me right now is Wifey’s?
I can’t believe I just put that in the recap
Okay, I am done for the day
Nothing to read here, move along

2 things

So yesterday at dinner Little Man did 2 things that, frankly, scared the ever-living poop out of me. The setting: The family is at the dining room table having our meal. We made more faux cheese pizza for the boy and the rest of us, Wifey, Mimma, and I, dined on some beef and broccoli stir fry. Little Man is wolfing down his slice of pizza as fast as he pleases while we are conversing and slowly munching on our respective dinners. It was very good stir fry by the way. Anyway… Little Man asks to be excused in his normal over excited way ( i.e. he jumped off his chair and ran around like a heathen). You might ask why we let him get away from the dinner table when we weren’t all finished eating. In that case, you might get an answer stating that he was done eating, he had been calmly eating and chatting with us at the dinner table for about 30 minutes, and he is 3.

So he gets down to go into the living room and play with some of his new birthday present toys. He is settling into a nice game of Simon Says when the air conditioner goes on. He sprints to the back door which is locked and closed. You see, currently he has been fascinated with the operation of the air-conditioner fan. He loves to watch it from the sun-porch or dining room window. It is best when he can run from one to another. He tries the doorknob but the fact that the door is locked stops him from getting the door open… for a second. He turns the key, the correct direction, and opens the door. Quoted for incredulous emphasis: He turns the key, the correct direction, and opens the door.

Sweet Mother of God and all that is Holy, Save Us, Save Us ALLL!!!! Little Man is no longer one to be penned in by things sooo conventional as mere Locks! He is now free to roam about the world un-fettered by our useless arbitrary division of that which is inside and that which is outside. No, he has determined how to free himself from the shackles of our conformist sense of space. Done with looking at the fan, he comes inside and calmly shuts the door. As if he hasn’t just ruined our chances of containing him while we have to go to the bathroom. It will only be days before he figures out how to start the car.

After I was stunned to gibbering incoherence by his unlocking and opening of the back door, he treated us to another monumental feat for a 3 year old. The ball he was bouncing in the living room whilst stir fry was delicately balancing on my fork inches away from my still stunned and agape mouth bounced underneath the sofa that is against a wall in the living room. Little Man walks over to the back corner of the full sized sofa and pushes it out from the wall. Yes, our 30.5 lb, 13.83 kg, or 2.179 stone in weight 3 year old just moved an 85lb, 38.56 kg, or 6.071 stone sofa. Sure it was just pivoting the sofa, but it still was not an insignificant task for a kid weighing less than half of the sofa, and significantly smaller than . He retrieved the errant ball from behind the sofa and said triumphantly, “Little Man get ball back!” He starts walking away from the eschewed sofa, when I ask him to put the sofa back. He leans into the arm of the furniture and shoves the thing back into place.

So, in one night, Little Man has eroded our sense of safety concerning locked doors, and re-arranged the furniture in the living room to get a missing toy. Quite a Wednesday evening, don’t you think?

To Recap:
You can’t hope to stop Little Man, you can only hope to slow him down…
If I were a Euclidean physicist, I could probably figure out the exact forces necessary to pivot a sofa on hard wood floors
I am not a Euclidean physicist
Nor do I know any Euclidean physicists
I know someone who is much more quantum than Euclidean, but still not a Euclidean physicist
I am very happy for the “Copy/Paste” command
I only had to spell “Euclidean physicist” correctly once
Have a great weekend

check up

We just had Little Man’s 3 year check-up. It was a great Dr. Visit in many ways and a difficulty one in many others.

Okay, the good: He did not need any shots, so the visit did not end with a blubbering puddle of post-shot Little Man. It is not a pretty sight. But, thankfully, it was not a sight for today. He interacted with his doctor (we shall call him El Doctoré). really well. He said “AHHHHH!” when asked. He didn’t fight when he was getting his ears checked out. He thought it was hilarious when El Doctoré was checking his pupil response for his eyes. He was nice and still while El Doctoré checked his breathing and heart beat. All in all Little Man did really well interacting with El Doctoré, and he behaved himself like a real champ. He has just grown up so much in the mere 3 years he has been around.

El Doctoré was very pleased that we had not had to see him since December of 2005 (we are as well), and he was really pleased that Little Man has been Orapred free for over 8 months now (again, we are as well). This is the longest stretch of non-Orapred usage for Little Man since we had to use it the first time just after his 1st birthday. All in all it was a really good visit.

The not-so-good: That being said, everything was not sunshine and rainbows. El Doctoré showed a bit of concern about how many steroid medications Little Man is currently using. On top of the asthma and food allergies, El Doctoré has suggested that we see a cardiologist because of a murmur present with Little Man. Great, just what we needed another medical concern for the Little Man. Honestly, this is the most upsetting portion of the appointment. The doc did a good job of minimizing the idea as just precautionary and prudent, but when a 3 yr old has to see a cardiologist, I can’t imagine that we are just doing it for “precaution and prudence“reasons.

These things were coupled with my own observations about the appointment with El Doctoré. Firstly, I was disturbed to see my little boy in such a clinical setting looking so small. He is currently residing in the 40th percentile for height and 25th percentile for weight. That translates to 37 inches or 93.98cm in height and 30.5 lbs, 13.83 kg, or 2.179 stone in weight. I realize that he is dynamo of energy that could potentially power the city of Reykjavík for about day in the spring, but he really is small for his size, and that is something you do not realize when you see him without other kids around to compare.

Secondly, I felt that he still is dealing with a speech delay. He just did not seem, in my opinion, to be talking as much and as fluently as he should be. Sure some of this may be due to “playing shy” around El Doctoré, but I just felt there was something more palpable to it than that.

Thirdly, I realized that, as a parent, I am not pushing Little Man to do enough things on his own. I do too much for him, when he should be doing it himself. I imagine that this is a typical problem with most first time parents, but it is something that I need to work on.

To recap:
Little Man is growing up
I need to get Little Man to draw more on his own, instead of just making Papa draw
I need to get him knowledgeable more about his environment
I am scared about taking him to the cardiologist
I am not sure we can add much more on our medical concerns plate
We had an open house this weekend with 0 visitors
Yep, 0 visitors
No one, none, zip, zilch, the big goose egg, etc...
I am so glad we are coming off the market soon
20 Questions Tuesday coming up tomorrow

Still eating...

Little Man is still an eating machine. He always stuns the wait-staff at restaurants when he really goes after something that he likes and currently wants. The operative phrase being “currently wants.” For clarification purposes, I feel it is necessary to define “currently wants” as “he wants it at that very instant in time.” Okay for more clarification purposes, I feel it necessary to really break his eating conditions into their 2 constituent pieces. Number 1: it has to be something he likes. Number 2: it has to be something that he is currently interested in eating. Okay, so there are many a food choice in his usual menu that he will only eat occasionally and voraciously. So, of the many food items that he does likes, if their availability does not coincide with him wanting them, he eats like a typical toddler. IF the 2 conditions are met, be very careful around his plate and his mouth, you might just get stabbed by a fork or bitten by some non-permanent teeth.

Last night at California Pizza Kitchen was one of those “he’s going to eat his entire meal so keep non-food items away from his gaping maw” kind of nights. On the Kid’s menu at CPK there is this wonderful Fusilli with Tomato Sauce that he LOVES. As a bonus, as long as we tell the staff there that he is allergic to dairy and egg so they do not accidentally butter the pasta he is allowed to actually eat it. Turns out that there is a veritable panoply of food he wants to eat that he can have nothing to do with. Anyway, he will typically take down the entire portion of pasta whilst at the restaurant, much to the wait staff’s shock and awe. By the way, if he doesn’t end up licking the plate at CPK, he wants to finish it off when we get home.

So, we went to CPK to celebrate the little one’s birthday. Another point of clarification: Since Sunday everything in Little Man’s world has been a Happy Birthday something-or-other. Sunday was his Happy Birthday Party where he got Happy Birthday Presents only to be capped off with a Happy Birthday Cake that he just mashed up with his fork. Sure, if the cake had dairy or eggs in it, he would have scarfed down a plateful and broken out in hives, but, nooooo, we go through the trouble of making a special cake that he can eat, and he doesn’t want to touch the thing… Anyway… he did not know why we went there, because we were not going to tell him that Tuesday was his actual birthday because he would have expected another Happy Birthday Party with more Happy Birthday Presents. He doesn’t understand the whole observed vs. actual thing just yet. In a few years, Little Man, a few years.

So, last night, which was his actual birthday, not his observed happy birthday, Little Man ate the heck out of his pasta and stayed up way too late. Sounds like a good way to ring in one’s next year, don’t you think?

To Recap:
Little Man can still pack it away
CPK is a good place for Little Man
Little Man’s favorite thing at the moment are the Hash Browns at Burger King
He loves the darn things
Spellcheck wanted to exchange Fusilli with Fusilier
“On the Kid’s menu at CPK there is this wonderful Fusilier with Tomato Sauce that he LOVES”
Big difference in meaning
Not that Little Man couldn’t love a Fusilier
They are just getting more and more rare, and California Pizza Kitchens typically don’t have them on the menu with tomato sauce

20 Questions Tuesday: 2 Little Man's Birthday

Today is Little Man’s mighty 3rd birthday. Please refrain from telling him this because he will want even more presents. Anyway, as a birthday treat for the little boy of the day, he shall answer all the questions. I will also give some explanation of his responses. Everyone knows that 3 year olds need interpreters.

Special thanks to KimM, Jude, Continuity Girl, B-Dawg, Peefer, and Wifey for their contribution of questions for this week.

Here are the 20 questions.

No Papa turn, Little Man turn
Yes, Yes, it is your turn Little Man.

1. Now that you have been blogging for sometime...if you could change the name of your blog (Under Construction), would you? and to what?
Papa… PAPA… PA-PA!!!
Okay what he is trying to get at here, is that he is not the one who blogs, but I do. I have toyed around with the idea of changing the title of the blog, but I have come to see "Under Construction" as an okay title, so it shall remain.

2. Why is it so absolutely delicious and pleasurable to eat (yummy stuff, of course)? Shouldn't we be bored by the endless, endless repetition; the interminable habit of putting stuff in our mouths and chewing? Clearly it's a survival of the species built-in thing; but shouldn't it be possible to harness that same capacity for routine for other boring necessities, such as working and getting up in the morning?
I chicky tenders. Ketchup. Hot Dog! Dinner! Orange Rice. Toast, Nilla Toast, Ta-co, yellow chip...
Okay, Little Man is giving you his lexicon of food. PINK JUICE BOX! What he is trying to get at is that even at the tender age of 3 he has a goodly amount of things to choose from for food. PINK JUICE BOX! The choices for eating are pretty much endless, but even with those endless possibilities, people do still get into a rut of food prep. Since eating is a sustaining and pleasurable event, PINK JUICE BOX! it is much more enjoyable than working or getting up . I think that is the difference. There would be very very few obese people, if eating were distasteful but necessary. PINK JUICE BOX! Fine, I will get you a pink juice box.

3. Sweet or savory? perfect red baby strawberries with fresh whipped cream on a buttery, crumbly shortbread; or super-smooth, slightly spicy guacamole with incredibly crisp salty nachos? (I'm hungry)
Straw...berry
Little Man would merely go for the strawberries and then probably eat some nachos, so in answer to your question, both.

4. Reading or writing?
Read, Papa. No write.
Little Man really does not like it when I write things down, but he does enjoy a good book. By good book I do mean about 10 pages, made of cardboard with simple sentences. Beat that Grisham!

5. Who would make the better father Superman or Batman?
Papa
It seems that he thinks I would make a better father than Superman or Batman, and I actually tend to agree.
Firstly Superman: he is from another planet, but more than that his dual identity would get in the way. He could not really be there for a child as a true father whilst keeping his day job at the daily planet and saving the world from nefarious super villains.
Secondly Batman: Aside from the same issues that Superman would have being an absent father, every time this man has taken charge of a kid’s well-being, he has dressed that child up in tights, made them wear a mask, and shown them the “Secret Bat Cave Entrance.” I don’t think I need to go into just how icky that is.

6. Did you have a pet as a child?
Kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat. 3 cat.
Little Man had three cats when he was born, but we had to find new homes for them due to his asthma and allergies. I miss the kittens terribly

7. Which fictional character would play you in a film about your life?
Little Nut Brown Hare
Looks like he would like his part played by a little brown rabbit, and, honestly, who wouldn't

8. What’s your favourite type of pasta?
PASTA!
He really likes mafalda

9. Who was the best James Bond?
Pip and Pop
His favorite characters on Bear in the Big Blue House are the otters Pip and Pop. Tutter a mouse. He also likes Tutter. Ojo… Yes and Ojo the little bear as well. Bear! That pretty much is the entire cast, Little Man. Anyway, he doesn’t really know about Bond as of yet.

10. How do you feel about "grok" from Heinlein's stranger in a strange land being listed in the dictionary?
What grok?
There is a certain appeal to such a guttural sounding word

11. Will you be disappointed if in the new wonder woman movie, she doesn't spin to change identities like Linda Carter.
Little Man spinning
Yes, yes, you are spinning. Luckily when Little Man spins he does not change into an Amazonian warrior princess. Sadly, I do not think that that will be part of the movie.

12. Is “spin in circles” redundant like “tiny little” and “great big?”
It a Big Big World, it a great big world…
Yes, it truly is a big, big world. Anyway, I think one could spin in an elliptical path, so it does make some sense unlike "little tiny" and "great big."

13. Does it surprise you that meerkats have to be taught how to kill and eat scorpions? And could they teach us how to do it?
Cat?
No, a meerkat, Little Man. I have a 3 year old who is ripe for the training in the killing and eating of scorpions

14. Could you handle the pressure of being "a gangster of love"?
I luv you.
I love you too, Punkin. Being a “Gangster of Love” is much easier than being a “Gansta of Luv.”

15. What is your favourite style of carpet: Berber, shag, or hand-knotted and sheared by a child labourer?
Wood floor
He likes his allergen free hard wood floors, personally, if I have to choose a carpet, I want to make sure my choice helps a child start out their career.

16. What is the true answer to life, the universe, and everything, not to be mistaken with the most-often quoted answer to life, the universe, and everything, which is "forty-two"?
Red caboose at back, orange tank car, yellow hopper car, green cat car, blue gondola car, purple boc car, black tender, black STEAM engine
I, unfortunately cannot disagree.

17. What is the proper usage of the ellipsis?
…
… indeed

18. Will you ever post a picture of yourself on this blog?
Little Man, Papa
I am near the bottom of the post.

19. What is the brightest and/or most blinding light you have ever seen?
Sun in sky
Yep, I think the Sun is about as bright as it gets

20. What would make a great band like Weezer think about breaking up?
Weezer, WEEZER, W-E-E-Z-E-R!!!!! MORE LOUD!!!!
I think they may be thinking about giving up the idea of the band, because they have never met their biggest 3 year old fan.

To recap:
Thanks to Little Man for the help on today’s post
Happy Birthday to Little Man
It seems like just yesterday that he was born in some ways
In other ways it seems like non-parenthood was a lifetime ago
I guess it was Little Man’s lifetime ago
For a more heartfelt and less glib tribute to my little boy, go here
I did not write that one, but most of the sentiments still apply (except for the whole job thingy, oh, and I was not the one who bore him into the world)
I just bore him now
Tomorrow I will be posting solo again
For good or for ill

A little bird told me...

Would it be so wrong to have some roughage in sesame chicken or sweet and sour pork? I mean really, there are no vegetables associated with those 2 Chinese dishes. I get a bit tired of just having breaded meat in a wonderful sauce with rice. I need some veggies. Need them, I say. Wifey and I went to our favorite local Chinese place this weekend for lunch on Saturday whilst we were picking up the last bits of presents and gifts for Little Man. My sweet and sour pork lunch special was wonderfully tasty, but pineapples don’t hack it as the non-meat portion of a meal. I think sugar snap peas would work wonderfully with sweet and sour dishes. Whether it be chicken, shrimp, or pork. They have a crispness to them that would be necessary in a rather saucy meal and they also have a sweetness that would compliment the savory-ness of the meat of choice. Sure, one could still have the typical pineapples and carrots, but put something green in there as well. Especially since we know that this is not anywhere near an “authentic” Chinese dish. As for the sesame chicken, throw in some broccoli at the last second, and you have yourself a damn fine meal. Work with me restaurant, work with me.

Okay, On the eve of my little boy’s official 3rd birthday I feel it necessary to spend some time on Little Man:

This weekend whilst on our way to Big Walk (a hike at a local Metropark, Highbanks, where we strap Little Man into our Kelty Journey and walk a 2+ mile trail (3.5+ km) before we set him loose on the playground in the groomed park area) Little Man is in his car seat with his stuffed animal that is appropriately named “Bird.” It is a stuffed animal bird that he talked his Mimma into getting him during one of their many trips to the zoo. Anyway… Little Man is singing along with Weezer when all of the sudden …

Little Man: Screams as if he’s been shot

Me: What’s wrong? I was ready to slam the brakes and get the car headed to Children’s Hospital.

Wifey: Dear God, what’s wrong?

Little Man: Bird hurt his tail.


It seems that Little Man caused bird to wrench his tail a bit and Bird, not Little Man, vocalized the Ow!

Our mistake. “Bird” screamed out a couple more times on the drive and had a couple more accidents during the Big Walk. Bird fall down. Bird hit door. Bird clumsy…

There is some fear in the family about Bird and Little Man’s abusive relationship, but Bird is clearly bringing this on. Bird knows what buttons to push and likes to push them. If Bird wanted to leave this relationship, he could. Nothing is stopping the green, red, and blue plush doll from leaving. We think the avian stuffed animal must like to be abused…why else would he stay? What we can’t figure out is why Bird keeps flying into doorknobs when we’re not around – doesn’t he know this gives him a black eye?

To Recap:
Little Man’s unofficial birthday was yesterday
We consider yesterday as Little Man’s Birthday (observed)
I do not often recommend changes to Chinese food, seeing as how I am not Chinese
Nor am I food for that matter
At least, I do not consider myself food, when Wifey and I were on our honeymoon in DC (we were poor and nerdy, both at the same time) a Tiger did seem to want to gnaw on our bones whilst we were at the National Zoo
It was a bit disconcerting
Tomorrow will be 20 Questions Tuesday:2 (as answered by Little Man due to his birthday)
Not sure where he picked up his abuse issues
Wifey did work in the DV movement for a bunch of time
And Little Man did go to work with her for the first 6 months of his life…
Not to mention his time spent with DV professionals whilst in utero
It all makes so much sense now….

Puppy

It seems that we now have a puppy. We did not want, nor did we encourage the acquisition of a puppy. Really, our family is more cat people than dog people, but we ended up with a puppy anyway. The issue with this particular puppy is how big it will eventually get. If this puppy continues to grow as it is projected, it will be quite large indeed. “What kind of puppy did you get?” you might ask. Well, fine reader, we got a Little Manrador Retriever.

It seems for some inexplicable reason that Little Man has started a persona that is a puppy. It is wonderful to see him using his imagination, but honestly we have no idea where he picked up his doggish mannerisms. We do not own a dog, his caregivers do not own a dog, he doesn’t watch any shows that prominently feature dogs, no one that we know of chat about dogs consistently, and yet, he plays the part of the dog very well. He crawls around and barks and yips as if he were a juvenile dog. It is all so weird, because we have no idea where he got the idea.

Far be it from us not to use his obedient canine persona against him though.

Little Man, grab a diaper so we can change you,
(silence, looks through his sticker book)
Little Man Grab a diaper so we can change you.
(silence, looks through his sticker book)
LITTLE MAN Grab a diaper so that we can change you….
(silence, looks through his sticker book)
If only there were a puppy to bring me a diaper so I could change him
Ruff! He grabs a diaper and crawls over to me to get changed.

Little Man, it’s time for your bath.
(silence, continues playing with the train)
Little Man! Time for your bath!
(silence, continues playing with the train)
LITTLE MAN, You need to come take your bath
(silence, continues playing with the train)
I have a bath up here that is just waiting for a puppy!
Arf! He crawls up the stares and sheds his clothes to get into the bathtub

You need to finish up your breakfast so we can get going
(silence, studied ignoring)
Little Man, finish up your breakfast so we can get you to Grandma and Grandpa’s
(silence, studied ignoring)
For the love of…. I guess I will have to feed the rest of Little Man’s breakfast to this cute little puppy that is studiously ignoring me.
Woof! And he takes down the rest of breakfast eating like a puppy. It is good that he is eating, but, Great Googly Moogly, is it messy.

To recap:
Little Man seems to be a puppy
Wifey and I are flabbergasted by this turn of events
The puppy listens to us much more than Little Man
In some ways we like having the puppy around
Had to put out a fire in the kitchen yesterday
I had to clean the oven out yesterday
Yes, those events are inter-related
Trying something new for tomorrow’s blog
It is new, and yet old
But going to be more frequent
And deliberate
Hopefully it will help with the blogger’s block I keep getting

Bev Hill at at at to BEEEEE!

Okay, I remember what it was that I was going to write about yesterday, but due to my forgetfulness I… um... forgot.

Little Man has moved on from solely kids’ music. Friday afternoon of last week, Little Man embarked into the unknown world of non-kids’ music. It was a complicated turn of events, but I will relate them to you, as best I can. First, for variability’s sake, I will give you some background on what it is that Little Man listened to on a daily basis. Second I will give you a timeline that shows how these events unfolded.

Background: Little Man is a particular little beasty. He likes things how he likes them, and no other way. For the past year and a half, when Wifey takes him to his day care givers, he has listened to Songs from Jim Henson's Bear in the Big Blue House, and when I picked him up in the evening he listened to Laurie Berkner’s Buzz Buzz. For almost 235 of the past 550 or so days Wifey has endured Bear and I have endured Buzz Buzz. Little Man would not allow any other music to be listened to. He would not allow for there to be no music at all, and he was certainly opposed to us listening to NPR. For 235 of the past 550 or so days I had to listen to the same thing over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over again. It was quite tiresome to say the least.

About 2 weeks ago, Little Man started “letting” Wifey listen to The Wiggles instead of Bear. So for 2 weeks Wifey has been close to an insane killing spree due to bad kids’ music, but Little Man showed a chink in his rigidity armor.

Timeline: all times are approximate

Friday 5:30 pm: Little Man and I are entering the Taco Bell closest to our house
Friday 5:33 pm: We have ordered and are getting our drinks from the self-serve fountain drink machine
Friday 5:38 pm: Our food is ready
Friday 5:40 pm: We are eating our food when a Moby song comes on
Friday 5:40.15pm: Little Man starts bobbing his head
Friday 5:41 pm: Other patrons of the Taco Bell take note of the dance stylings of Little Man
Friday 5:45 pm: Lenny Kravitz’s Fly Away comes on and Little Man really starts dancing in his seat
Friday 5:59 pm: We leave Taco Bell and get in the car
Friday 6:02 pm: I put in Weezer’s Make Believe
Friday 6:04 pm: Little Man is singing at the top of his lungs BEV Hill at at at to BEEEEEE!

The shackles of kid’s music have been released

To Recap:
Little Man likes “Weez” because Weezer has a strong base line and easily defined chorus that he can sing along with
Little is not a fan of the ballad
Cake varies their tempo too much for Little Man to get into it
Jamiroquai’s Virtual Insanity is also something the Little Man like as well
We are still sifting through our music libraries for things he might like
I think Tool maybe a bit adult for him yet
Unfortunately for Wifey, Ani drops the F-Bomb too much
I actually sent Weezer a “Thank You” e-mail
I have some poison ivy-ish rashes on my forearms
Teach me to weed around the airconditioner

The Beat Down

I would not be surprised if I have a shiner over my right eye by tomorrow. It seems that Little Man has decided to take out his “ineffectiveness in his environment” against me. Let me define “ineffectiveness in his environment.” This is a home-coined phrase that I just made up like 30 words ago. Hey, I am clever like that, deal with it. Okay the definition without all the self praise.

“Ineffectiveness in his own environment” means that Little Man is not really in too much control of what goes on around him. He eats when we give him food, he sleeps when we make him, he wears his blue shoes and socks when we put them on his feet, etc… Sure he has some semblance of control. He tells us that he would like chicken tenders or a pink juice box, but it is really up to us to make that happen. In this environment he is essentially powerless. We, hoping to be good parents, try to empower him as much as we can, but in almost all serious ways, he is completely bereft of power.

That is to say he only affects the environment that we allow him to - with one major exception. The exception? Well, that is Little Man beating the ever living crap out of me. So far for my July 4^th holiday at home I have been kneed in the groinal area twice, have taken a couple of elbows to the throat, been kicked in a few other tender areas, and been cracked upside my head really hard (the whole right eye area thingy). After breakfast this morning, he ran up to me and hit me in the arm twice screaming “KNOCK! KNOCK!” Before I could ask, “Who’s there?” He would giggle and run away, only to come hit me again later.

Now, one would assume that this is just Little Man not being quite able to control his body as gracefully as someone with full body awareness, but it seems targeted at me. Wifey does not have a cracked noggin. He typically doesn’t knee her “accidentally” in the groin. Sure he head-butts her rather forcefully in her chesty boobage area, but I think that is mainly getting back at her for stopping the whole breast feeding thing. Anyway…as for sheer amount of physical violence, I tend to take the brunt of it.

The constant stream of knees to the nethers and cracks on my noggin have started to take their toll on me. I am starting to take up defensive stances around the Little Man. I find myself flinching when he comes near. I am constantly awaiting the eventual head-butt to my nose. I am pretty sure he will give me a black eye sooner or later. I have started blocking his hands when we are near each other. I cannot wait until the day I have to explain to the cops that I “fell down the stairs again” because my little boy has been beating the crap out of me.

To Recap:
Little Man 4 – SRH 0
I already have a small lump over my right eye
I swear he broke my nose 3 weeks ago
Happy 4thy of July
It rained really hard this morning
I don’t like hot dogs no matter how many times Wifey tries to make me eat them
Germany v Italy is on, so I will post more tomorrow

Off Topic

Got nothing today, but I figured I could blather on about something.

Number 1: I don't usually have an opinion about the royals but wtf?!? Harry, Harry, Harry. I hope your handler got sacked for letting you attend that party in an Afrika Corps uniform. For the love of God and all that is holy, did no one ever sit you down and talk to you about the application of common sense? All you have to do is not something stupid, and yet you seem to mess that up all too frequently.

Hey, royal wranglers, don't let that child go out anymore. Turn one of the lesser country estates into a big night club, import some partiers, and let Harry party there. Get him as many loose British rave chicks as he wants, some "x" if he wants it, marijuana, beer, liquor, etc... and take some control of where and how this child behaves. You cannot keep him from partying, just take control of the parties. Give the kid his excesses, just keep him from doing his stupid stuff in uncontrolled environments.

Number 2: ro·ta·vi·rus (rO-tah-vI-rus)n. pl. ro·ta·vi·rus·es : Any of a group of wheel-shaped RNA viruses of the family Reoviridae, including the human gastroenteritis viruses that cause infant diarrhea. Also called gastroenteritis virus type B.

That is what the doctor seems to think the little one has had since 12-27-04. Says that it lasts anywhere from 5 days to 3 weeks. Well, we are on 2 1/2 weeks, so here's to hoping it is coming to an end. Little man has been vomiting every night between the hours of 11pm and 4 am for 2 1/2 weeks as well as having some nasty ass poo during the days. Sent some poop out for tests, and most likely the lab will be able to tell us what the big man just got over. Here's to hoping.

Number 3: Why can't we just let sleeping cheese lie? Okay, for the last time. I do not dislike cheese, I dislike the over usage of cheese in the US. Too much of anything is bad, this applies to cheese as well.

Number 4: Got Milk? I hate the fact that the American Dairy Council has somehow talked non-Caucasians into doing their ad campaign. Caucasians have a mutated gene that allows them to ingest cow's milk and process lactose. Everyone else in the world has difficulty with cow's milk. As adults, many Caucasians cannot effectively digest lactose as well. The dairy industry is subsidized by the US government and therefore milk and cheese is made into a mandatory food stuff in the US.

Since my little boy is allergic to dairy, I have had time to think about the whole concept of using a cow as a wet nurse. Humans should not suckle off the teat of another animal. I will continue drinking my soy milk, thank you very much. I have found it amazing just how pervasive dairy products are within the US diet. Dairy byproducts such as whey and caisin are additives found in a whole heckuva lot of food products. It is absolutely mind numbing what one can find out about food, just by reading the ingredients listings. I am positive that most of the dairy byproducts found in foods are there because of the government subsidation of the dairy industry.

Stupid dairy.

Back from a small hiatus

During said hiatus, my little one was sick, the pooping kind of sick. Many a poop was cleaned up during the week. Many a poop indeed. Unfortunately he is still not feeling well, but it is not the pooping kind of not well.

So now I am back at work. There are both positives and negatives associated with being back at work. A positive is contact with adults whose vocabulary is slightly better than the little one's singular word/whine of "eeeehhhhh!" while pointing. Usually still whiny here at work, just a better vocabulary. Negatives mainly concern that this is, in fact, work. It gets in the way of not-workin'. The interaction is nice, but the fact that it involves work is not so nice.

At least the people here do not expect me to pick them up and carry them into the kitchen so they can play on the counter with tupperware. Small consolation. There are some here that tend to still point and say "eeehhh!", but that is to be expected, this is a workplace after all.

"There is no spoon" or "You can eat that!?! with youre fingers?"

The little one is quite happy to eat anything with his little perfect fingers. Yes, applesauce is finger food. He enjoys playing with eating utensils, but not so intent on using them for their manufactured purpose. A large wooden spoon is perfect for carrying around, poking things, stirring up legos, etc... Over the weekend though, he did manage to shove some food into his mouth with a fork. He seemed to enjoy that greatly. So maybe his hands only eating method is on the way out. Then again he really enjoyed smashing his face into a bowl to eat a strawberry slice, so maybe the finger food issue is not over yet.

I understand the drive to eat with your hands, I did the major protion of my growin' up in Alabama. Most everything is finger food there as well. Then again most everything there is deep fried as well. We all know that deep fried = eat with fingers.

"Hey, you want you some of them thar green beans?"
"I don't know, is they cruchy-like?"
"Shoot-chya, I fried them up real good."
"Then pile them on this here plate so's I can eat 'em"
"Wanna fork?"
"Chet, I done told you I don't like you that way."
"Nawh, Stubby, Do ya wanna eatin' fork?"
"Oh, nawh, theys don't need no stabbin'."

Then again, maybe using utensils is a good idea....

Homecomings

My wife was on a business trip this week starting on Wednesday through this afternoon. It is amazing to have her back at home with the little one and myself. We both missed her greatly. although, I think the little one was a bit miffed when he first saw her in the airport. He warmed up on the drive home.

These 2 1/2 days without her, really makes me question how anyone is able to raise a child as a single parent. It is difficult enough with 2 fully commmitted parents. I do not want anyone to think that I was unhappy to parent our little boy on my own. It was a truly rewarding experience. He is so much fun, and we enjoyed ourselves as much as we could (he dealing with the Orapred and me dealing with him on the Orapred). He loves to let me build something for 20 seconds with his Legos, and then take it away from me and put it onto the window sill, or tear it apart. He giggles so much when we chase each other around our house, and that giggle is magic. That being said, he took a fairly constant amount of attention, and I was not able to have anyone run interference for mewhile I attempted cooking. I really never had much of a moment to myself, because on the Orapred, even when he was sleeping, it was not a deep and restful sleep. (side note: Orapred is done, he should be his normal self after he crashes either Saturday or Sunday) If I were wearing a hat, it would be off to the single parents out there. It is a rewarding job, but it is difficult.

Orapred

Orapred is the oral steroid that is adminsitered to young ones who are having or just recently had an asthmatic episode. It is the kid version of prednazone. There are some immediate side effects associated with Orapred, these are, in no particular order:

1. increased thirst
2. insatiable appetite
3. insomnia

These three effects cuase a fourth effect, crankiness. Needless to say, being the parent of a kid on Orapred is not the easiest thing I have had to do. Looks like I will have insomnia by proximity.