2 Things

I thought that I should continue on with the recap of the third and fourth years of the blog, but because the public has demanded that I do not do that. Therefore, in order to keep my 5 fervent readers, I will refrain from doing a post of the first sentences for year 3 or for year 4. I listen… I am a listener.

There are 2 things to talk about from this weekend.

Thing the First: Halloween

Little Man enjoyed himself immensely on Halloween. He does not do the “trick-or-treat” thing, but he does enjoy handing out the candy. He dressed as a black “Halloween Cat” for the holiday. He did a great job meting out candy to all the kids trick or treating.

There was a surprising lack of 14 year olds just wanting free candy this year. Usually there are about 10 kids who are way too old to be trick-or-treating, who did not wear a costume, and who seem to feel entitled to my candy. This year, I did not see that. There were a few kids who were questionably aged for the event, but they were costumed, so that seemed okay.

Little Man was invited to a Halloween Party on Saturday that he bravely went to. It was for a friend of mine’s kids and he wasn’t going to know anyone there. He went and the party goers whilst costumed were still very cliquish. He did not have a good time, but he did eat their pizza before we left. That showed them!

Thing the Second: Vertigo

The vertigo that Wifey suffered through about 2 years ago came back on Sunday. Since we already knew that the symptoms might come back (per the ER doc) we knew that it might rear its ugly head again. She was diagnosed with BPPV last time around and the remedy for that particular bout of vertigo was the Epley Maneuver. While not a trained medical professional, I helped Wifewy through the set of postures for the Epley. It seemed to help but she was out of commission for most of yesterday.

She is doing much better today, but alas and alack for Q, she is no longer able to rock the little girl to sleep.

To recap:
I won the Cartographer’s Guild October Challenge
Go me!
I have a boo boo on my right birdie finger
It makes lots of people think that I am flipping them off
I am not
Maybe…
No one bought me lunch in celebration of my Blogaversary
I am flipping them off
Listening to my throbbing headache

Digital Thursday

Well, even though it is the actual blogaversary today I thought I would post up an update to last week’s Digital Thursday and do an extra special Halloween post for the Blogaversary.

Last week I showed you the near finished work in progress for the October Challenge of the Cartographer’s Guild. I gave you the background on what the challenge was about and all that stuff. Well, today I am going to give the version that I submitted for the contest. I will also outline what I would have done had I had more time in which to accomplish those doings.

Anywhoo… here is the submitted version of the challenge. (please click to embiggenate for the devil is in the details of this bugger.) The main difference between this one and the one I showed last Thursday is that I halved the width of the planking for the dock, I added an airboat, some boxes and crates, some flotsam and jetsam, and tables and chairs for the Dead Spider Bar and Grill.



1. If I had time I would have liked to put some kind of element in the barren center area of the map. It looks too open and too bare to be useful in such a cramped space.

2. In some of the open water areas that don’t seem to make sense I would have added pilings to show that construction is happening there or about to happen there.

3. The roofs of the structures are bit on the bare side. They should have some kind of detail to add seams and panels to the rather large roof areas. A single sheet of metal is not going to cover most of those areas. Also, even though these shacks are in the bayou, they still need fireplaces and stoves, so chimneys and smokestacks need to be evident .

4. The lower left portion of the map should indicate where a boat is docking.

5. There need to be a few more airboats in the upper left corner.

6. There should be the shadow of a gator in the water area with the “dead” mechanized spider.

7. More flotsam and jetsam because those are fun words to say.

Oh, and here is a Supergirl I dre for a Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge (click to embiggen)



To recap:
Happy blogaversary to me
No one even offered to buy me lunch :(
And it is my Blogaversary :’(
I am sad and poor and kind of hungry now
Feel free to wish me a happy blogaversary in the comments... it will make me all warm and squishy inside
Looks like I will win the October Challenge with the above map
Kick ass!
I'm a winner!
I am attempting to build up a fantasy cartographic portfolio in order to make some extra scratch in the gaming world
Little Man is dressing up as a cat for Halloween
I am not dressing up
Listening to Something Is Not Right With Me by the Cold War Kids off of Loyalty to Loyalty
Have a great weekend

4th Annual Blogaversary: year 2

Well here we are again. This is the recap of year 2 to year 3. First sentences from most of the year that was year 2, the year of the yeti.

So for Halloween this year we tracked, killed, and skinned Elmo.
So Wifey thinks that wearing only one sock at night is a definite sign of insanity, much like wearing a boot on one’s head.
What to say?
So I get this call Saturday evening.
The only 2 dimensional natural phenomenon known to man is a rainbow.
I feel that I have something that needs to be said, and I am going to get it off my chest.
Had a meeting in Cleveland today.
Okay, so I was not hallucinating when I was peeing Friday afternoon.
So, Little Man pants’d Wifey at the library last night.
House cleaning is a bitch.
So on the way to work today a few things happened.
So what am I thankful for?
Fowl Holiday 05 has come and went.
Why can’t the weather make up its damn mind?
So Little Man slept in his Big Boy bed all night.
So Last night’s sleep situation was not as wildly successful as Tuesday evening.
It happened last night.
You know your wife really wants to get off the phone when she starts singing the lyrics from the Human League.
I do not want this to become one of those annoying blogs where all the author (yes, lofty to refer to oneself as an author when all one is doing is blogging, but what the hey) does is talk about the aforementioned author’s amazingly cute progeny.
Christmas music time is upon us yet again.
I have nothing to chat about today, yet again.
Little Man is sick today, so I am tending to him today.
Sorry about the lack of post today, Little Man had another trip to the ER.
Okay now I have a headache.
I started out thinking that I could get away with a simple, yet elegant “Mea Culpa” idea to apologize ("apologise" for the Queen’s English folk) about my errors dealing with the Comments portion of the page.
T’was the Thursday before Christmas, when all through the cube No work was accomplished by this bored blogging rube.
Nothing says “Hey, Tubby, get off your lazy ass” like getting a gym membership in your stocking for Christmas
FYI: do not start up an exercise regime, from not doing anything for 2 years, by getting on an elliptical machine and having Rage Against the Machine’s Testify come on as your starting song.
Oh, the New Year is here.
I slept wrong last night.
I am at home today with my lovely little boy.
The evening ritual for Little Man is as follows.
So last night was a night destined to be near sleepless.
Wifey is doing much better, but reading is quite a chore for her still.
I love going out to lunch.
Today we have a guest blog appearance from, none other than, Wifey.
Sweet Mother of God, I thought it was Friday when I got up this morning.
Ah, the promise of a new week.
Somebody just exploded in the bathroom.
I have been marked for death.
Nothing says “Great Custodial Staff and Hygenic Co-Workers “ like worms in the urinals.
Turn out Little Man loves Fanta Orange.
So, I have absolutely nothing today.
I see that I have hit a chord talking about nothing.
We are having our departmental holiday party today.
Back in bidness, baby!
So it was 10 years ago today that I asked Wifey if she would marry me.
Man, am I tired.
This past Friday evening Wifey and I went to the closing show of a local Columbus Theatre/Cabaret.
So the Olympics Fever is firmly ensconced at the Casa del SRH.
Many of the people I work with call today “Single’s Awareness Day” due to the emphasis on relationships placed on today.
I should really be able to get over this by now.
The funny thing about this job is just how much time I have on my hands whilst being insanely busy.
Of the non-speed skating events at the Olympics, the ice-dancing is the best of the lot.
Turns out that Mardi Gras is not that popular a holiday in northeastern Ohio.
They are currently “renovating” the bathrooms on my side of the building.
Ah, Lent.
You know you are officially old when you can “sleep wrong.”
I have much to do this weekend.
It was a nice afternoon.
To steal a phrase from a friend: “Mother Nature is off her lithium.”
For a moment there, I was Number 1.
Okay, I have been in a whole bunch of bathrooms in my day.
I hate spiders.
The best thing about meetings is that they sometimes come with the option of free food.
Usually I count on the weekend for some material, but my life has gotten so boring that I cannot even do that.
Unfortunately, SRH is out of town most of today, so he won’t be able to do his normal blogging about nada, nunca, nothing.
Yes, Hell does have a name.
I got my hair cut today.
Whoever said that fresh air and exercise will help kids sleep, was full of horse shit.
I was going to blog today as one of the imaginary firemen lodged within one of Little Man’s various fire trucks that he “plays” with.
I just felt like wearing a silk shirt today.
I fought the law… and it was a draw.
Yep, Little Man now has a vocation.
Today I am writing a document.
There is a whole bunch of confusion out there about cryptozoologicals.
It is always a pleasure to see my family in the middle of the day.
The problem with me doing yard work is that number 1, its work, number 2, okay wait a second… let me try that again.
So I have traded in my Caffeine Free Mountain Dew for Sunkist: Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations.
Okay, I am postiong this email conversation that I have been having with “The Yeti” for the past few days.
Someone once asked me, “Do you have a personal philosophy?”
Today is a Papa at home with his boy day.
Turns out that my much wanted and desired nap experience did not pan out.
The meal with the ‘rents went well.
There is no Hell like High School Prom night dining.
If one gets specific, one seems insane when one mentions one’s pet peeves.
I am not feeling well today.
On Monday the family will be getting our stuff together and heading to Chicago.
My commute is not a terribly long drive.
Today is an odd day for me.
I need to fix the garbage disposal.
I did not eat enough lunch today and I am still quite hungry.
So where the Hell did the toaster oven go?!?!
Tomorrow I get to be a handsome, svelte, well-groomed, successful, tan, enviable man… relatively speaking, of course.
So I have received an ultimatum.
I would not be surprised if I have a shiner over my right eye by tomorrow.
It seems that we now have a puppy.
The problem with microwave frozen pizzas is that they are not really on any semblance of French bread and they are not really all that pizza like.
Would it be so wrong to have some roughage in sesame chicken or sweet and sour pork?
Today is Little Man’s 3rd birthday.
Little Man is still an eating machine.
I have walked on many a tile floor in my days.
I truly think that the most under-used of all plastic utensils is the spork.
So yesterday at dinner Little Man did 2 things that, frankly, scared the ever-living poop out of me.
If anyone ever wondered what it is I do, I make maps.
So for yesterday’s Papa Day I took Little Man to the Zoo.
As some of you may know, Columbus, Ohio is often times a hot-bed of fast food test marketing.
Friday evening, Wifey and I had our house taken off the market.
Okay, I don’t quite understand this necessity of Wifey.
This weekend is a weekend of change.
Thanks for the questions everyone.
What can I say?
As of today, it has been 9 years of marital bliss for me and Wifey.
There is nothing facetious about an El Camino.
So the curls are gone.
I am tired.
Look at them… so smug… so full of themselves.
I think a higher power might be trying to tell me something.
Oh, it is here! My second Blogaversary.

To recap:
Again, this whole post was one gigantic recap
Listening to Mandelbrot Set by Jonathan Coulton

20 Questions Tuesday: 115 - 4th Annual Blogaversary

It is always quite enjoyable to do retrospectives on the good old blogaversary. Since we are coming up on the 4th annual blogaversary Today’s topic is on 4 years of Under Construction.

Thanks this week go to: All Rileyed Up, Capt. McArmypants, Belsum, Lsig, John P., and Dr. B-Dawg.

Onto the questions:
1. Looking back over four years of blogging, have you noticed an improvement in your writing? Changes in your style? Learned anything about yourself?
I think there has definitely been an improvement in the writing. If nothing else the voice that comes across is much more consistent. I have learned that I can usually force myself to type about a page’s worth of claptrap out even if I don’t want to.

2. Do you think you will still be blogging in four years? Do you think anyone will? Four years ago, did you think you would still be blogging now?
I have no idea where I will be in 4 years or what I will be doing. Honestly, if I had to guess if I would still be writing into the twisting nether that is the Intertubes for 4 years, I would be hard pressed to think so.

3. What is your favorite non-English word for the number four?
Quatre

4. Did you have a vision for this blog 4 years ago and how much of it have you achieved?
I did indeed have a vision for the blog, buit it was a simple vision from a simple man. All I wanted from this blog was a space to help formulate ideas and make them conveyable to others. Since starting the blog as a creative outlet I have gotten up the nerve to start being more creative in other ways. I have started drawing again and I have started looking into fantasy mapping for games and such as a potential money maker… I just have to find some PAYING clients.

5. After 4 years of trying to capture a portion of your life and share it with others, in what way do you feel English or any written language for that matter most fails to provide the tools needed to achieve what you want to communicate. (or is it more a lack of common philosophy?)
Written language has a difficult time with nuance and inflection. Just like you have to be careful typing out emails lest someone becomes offended, blog posts or any Internet missive for that matter could easily be misconstrued.

6. Most useful improved skill due to 4 years of blogging? a. Hyperlinking expert b. Faster typin' skills c. Improved writin' skills d. Desensitization of doing non-work related things at work without fear or guilt?
Let’s just say “Less than “a” space “href” equals sign open quote html address close quote greater than target word less than backslash a greater than.


7. How often do you have to resist the temptation to get all political and stuff? and has this increased or decreased in the last 4 years?
Every day I post I resist the temptation to go all political on someone’s ass. There are 2 things that hold me back. Firstly I am not that well informed about stuff that I would most likely be spewing partisanship upon, and secondly, I realized that I am not that well informed. Politics and hot-button issues are requests for flame wars. My blog is (and always has been) intended to be a place that is just for my fun.

8. I have always felt that the biggest mistake in the formation of the Constitution is the lack of term limits for President (which has been taken care of), Congress and the Supreme Court, do you have a counter argument. (Of course, I also feel there should be some sort of "Logan's Run" type program for all ex-presidents just to ensure that they really really "want it", so my Constitutional criticisms may come from a different place than most.)… Sandmen never run.
Ummm… I… hrrmmmmm… I have no answer.

9. Are you Consitutionally mandated to quit blogging after you finish your next 4 years?
Nope, but I might go all George Washington on this blog’s ass and voluntarily quit.

10. Choosing from only dead ones, which president acted in the most literally fascist manner during his term in office?
Hmmm… dictatorial with intense nationalism… I cannot think of any non-living president that would fit that definition… The US has historically been more isolationist than fascist. I cannot think of an authoritarian president that touted militarism and nationalism.

11. What contribution has your blog made to the economy?
None, I use a free host with free addons.

12. Does your blog have a foreign policy position?
Yes, this blog is about bringing people together. So far I have had some commeters from Europe, South America, North America, and Asia. This blog is truly a melting pot of my ideas. Questions have been sent in from 6 different countries and There are a bunch of people in the Czech Republic who search for turtle porn. I still need a commenter from Africa and Antarctica though. So one of you Egptians and someone from Little America, post a comment.

13. Do you consider yourself the chief executive of your blog, or the commander-in-chief?
Commander-in-Chief.

14. Is your blog's approval ratings up or down?
At the moment they are up by about 10 points. My approval rating (number of daily visitors) hovers around a daily 40 or so, but lately I have been getting 50 hits a day.

15. How do you and the family plan on celebrating the blogaversary?
Hopefully with food.

16. What is the traditional gift for a 4th blogaversary (paper, tin, a new wireless router)?
Hopefully one of the co-workers will think that lunch is appropriate. I like lunches.

17. Why four year terms? Did the founding fathers just roll some dice and see what came up?
The founding fathers of this great democracy only counted the thumb, index finger, middle finger, and ring finger. Therefore the presidency was given in terms of four years. They felt the pinky finger did not count as a full finger and should therefore be tallied as a 2/3rds finger.

18. Have you ever worried about your blog staging an uprising?
Every night.

19. What new features will the blog have in its fifth year?
Hopefully some interviews. I might turn this 20 questions Tuesday on its ear and interview some of you yokels.

20. Boxers or briefs?
I deny that bivariate choice system. I wear Boxer Briefs


To recap:
I want to go home
I am tired and I think it is the stupid weather
I set up Wifey’s machine to print to the wireless printer last night
Now I need to set up my machine
Then I will be able to print without a wire!
My printing will be wireless!
Oooooh the power
I need to stop by the grocery today and figure out something for dinner
No… wait... spaghetti is is!
Listening to the sounds of silence

the Blogaversary numbered 4

For the blogaversary, here are the first sentences to some of my 818 posts. Here is almost all of year 1.

I just want to get this thing started, more to come later.
I didn’t know the devil wore white cotton socks.
I do not understand the Discovery Channel anymore.
I am soooo happy that the end of the political commercials is upon us.
I have absolutely nothing to write about today.
At least I wish something witty would come this way.
I am so flipping tired. Asthma is a horrible horrible thing.
In yesterday’s entry I made fun of Alabamians.
They say that some of one’s best friends are made during college, and they are right, whomever “they” are.
The big reason that visiting with family sucks is that no matter how emotionally healthy one is on their own, when placed into their family of origin dynamic, there is always some regressing.
I am always amazed by the horrible glut of post Thanksgiving deterious.
I so do not want to be at work today.
So, I have been working rather diligently today to get tons of work accomplished, and therefore, almost forgot to “blog” away.
“How’s your workload right now?”
There is not much going on different today.
Okay, here is the problem, “Healthy Request lunches are typically tasty frozen lunches, but their proportion size is either for a 7 year old girl or a European.”
Typically we have to open my parent’s gifts to us weeks prior to Christmas so as not to ruin the day of Christmas for me or my wife.
Okay, I get it now, Garfield is a fat cat.
Remember tales of people getting drunk at parties and telling off bosses, or employee hook-ups that used to supposedly happen during the company holiday festivities?
Yesterday it snowed.
It is a tradition for my wife and I to exchange letters to each other for Christmas.
I think the best actor of all time is easily Michael Caine.
Ah, the New Year’s tradition that everyone dreads.
Oddly enough, there is no difference today than there really was on Friday.
It has been a wild past 3 days.
I am sure the kicking will come soon.
Cheese is a crutch for most mediocre cooking.
I never truly thought that I was wicked, but it turns out that I most likely am.
For some this is a holiday, for others, like myself, it is a Monday.
Have you ever had one of those headaches that feel like tiny elves are trying to dig out of you skull using dull and inappropriate digging equipment?
This blog would be much more memorable if I had an exciting life, but I do not.
Little Man is doing better today.
My dentist is a great dentist, I just think they are a bit overzealous or something.
Right off the bat, I want to let everyone know out there in cyber land know that I have good clean teeth.
Cleaning up just doesn’t mean as much as it used to.
So, in a conversation that I had with a friend earlier this morning, he came up with one of the worst names I have ever heard.
I thought of a topic yesterday afternoon, and them promptly forgot it.
I cannot stand the word “ointment” written or spoken, but especially spoken.
Lately, there just have not been the “opportunities” to spout out tons of vitriolic prose due to a single occurrence.
Everybody feels better when they are making fun of someone.
The word “Wednesday” is derived from Nordic words meaning “Wodan’s Day” or the day named after the King of the Norse gods.
Okay, since I have a 1.583333 year old, I have the wonderful pleasure of watching young children’s programming.
I am completely out of it today.
How’s that for a title?
Caesar was an idiot.
It is true: I hate people.
Top o’tha morning to ya, and all that crap.
I guess that makes me a kind of ass.
So much of my life is wasted watching “progress bars” in computer programs.
Not sure if everyone out there in cyberland even knows about the joys that are grape sodas.
Okay, 3 things to cover today.
My, my, my, it is an absolutely gorgeous day outside.
I am not known for being a maven of style and trendiness but I think I have a lock on some trends.
It does not seem to get any easier.
Anotrher day, another dollar… hopefully at least.
Turns out the little one is a bit grumpy today.
Again, I am going for totally non-Joycian stream of consciousness baby!
I have been asked a few times by people who read this diatribe of mine, “Hey, where do you come up with this insightfully witty claptrap you call your blog?”
To quote the Tick (did I mention I loved cartoons), “The problem with sanity, is that it is a one trick pony. Now with insanity, the sky is the limit.”
I should have gotten my lazy butt out of bed on Monday.
So, we confirmed it over the weekend.
The floodgates have opened.
When one is heavily sleep deprived one notices that it really is the little things that can really piss you off.
There are a myriad of things that one should never admit to another human being.
Other than assistant crack whore, I cannot think of a job that gets less respect than a substitute teacher (well maybe a social worker).
I got my driver’s license renewed this morning.
Little one did not sleep well last night.
The little one has to have sticky sweet secretion glands near the palms of his hands.
On the way to lunch yesterday (Mmmmmm Arby’s) the driver of the car I was in mentioned that the hippopotamus does not have any natural enemies.
Nothing makes oneself feel better about oneself than surrounding oneself with people worse off than oneself.
There are many things one should not do in a men’s restroom.
Sew, Eye was challenged today too right inn as many homophones as Aye could.
Insomnia sucks.
I abhor going to the dentist.
Dear Sir, I realize the discomfort that the dried mucous membrane in one’s nostrils can cause, for I too have dried snot in my nasal passage.
Allergies suck.
Time got away from me today.
How was my weekend?
Due to Spammy McSpamson from Spammiesburough, KY, I have changed the setting on my blog for comments.
So I noticed over the weekend that the Columbus Zoo is devoid of hippos.
Okay, so the “birdy” finger on my right hand has a hangnail issue.
Okay, I have much to chat about today, so I would like it if you guys kept quiet and tlistened throughout the entirety of my post.
Turns out that the professional parents do not like me.
It is about time someone wiped the smile off of Jokey Smurf’s face.
Thank the gods for whoever in my section decided to cut the muzak cables in my area of this infernal building.
I offer my apologies to the cat on Crestview Road Friday evening.
Ah, the blogaversary, excuse me, the first annual blogaversary.

To recap
That was a recap
Sheesh, what do you people want from me?

Digital Thursday

Here it is the triumphant return of Digital Thursday! I know it has been a few weeks since I did anything all digital like, but this is a free blog and I am a tired man.

Anyway… the Cartography Guild has a monthly mapping challenge, and I am endeavoring to do as many of these challenges as I possibly can. I am attempting to create a nice fantasy mapping portfolio so I might be able to make a little extra scratch in these difficult economic times. I entered last month’s challenge and did pretty well (yea me!), but last month’s challenge was more up my alley style wise. I am stretching myself here and attempting to do a style that I haven’t ever done.


The challenge this month is to take the above shape primitive and…

Try to convey some of the character of the place you are mapping. You can choose any genre, and any size settlement. You must stick to the fundamental plan as far as possible and the layout must be recognizable in your entry.

I decided to set the time frame of the map as something kind of steampunk-ish and put it in a swamp. I chose a swamp because it allows for more levels of interactivity. There is a swampfloor/water level, the walking surface level, and a structure level. I really wanted to play with this idea of levels even though the lower to middle levels don’t seem to make much logical sense. For example there are holes in the decking that I have no idea (as of yet) why they are there other than to look cool.

I have a few things left to do to the image:

1. I need to make an airboat and inert it into the upper left
2. I need to create the bow of a 1890’s steampunk tug-boat and have it poke into the lower left corner.
3. I need to differentiate the rooftop levels a bit more
4. There are some shadow fixes that need to happen
5. Some of those roofs need chimneys

If I focus on it tonight and tomorrow night, I should be able to work through the issues that seem to be cropping up.

Anyway… without further ado, my contribution to this week’s Digital Thursday.
It is “due” the 25th of October so I need to work work work to finish it out.

To recap:
I have sketched out about 3 air-boats, so that should be nice and fast to do
I could really use some sleep though
There will come a point where I hit the “good enough” button and call this map quits
I hope that happens after the above laundry list item 5
Speaking of laundry, it is time for me to wash some clothes as well
It seems I am wearing the last of the clean underwear
Was that too much information?
Well, it was not too much useful information, I can tell you that much
Listening to Ikea by Jonathan Coulton
Have a great weekend

Viewer Mail

In my attempts at half-assery I have decided to look into my mailbag and answer reader questions. It turns out that I do not in fact have a mailbag, and I only in fact have one email. That should cut down the decision making time… so here we go from the old mail bag!

From: Avid Under Construction Reader
Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:46 AM
To: SRH
Subject: RE: tuesday's post

#10 - funny!

Do you need a blog topic for today? Since you're half-bummin' this anyway, and you have a baby so I know you're home a lot, here's the topic: Hey, SRH, whatcha
been watching on TV lately? The good, the bad and the ugly.



So here we go, thanks, good reader, for giving me fodder for today’s post.

TV in the SRH household used to be a past-time closer to a religion than a hobby. It was mandatory to be in front of the TV to watch certain shows when they came on. Much lamenting and gnashing of teeth occurred if shows were missed and many a schedule was altered to accommodate viewing pleasure.

Those days have mostly passed. Ever since Little Man arrived, TV just has not claimed the level of prominence that it once enjoyed in the world of SRH. Honestly, there are not many shows that I tend to follow, but I will attempt to let everyone in on my TV viewing secrets.

So far there are few “must watches” on my list. I think much of this has to do with the shift in TV from stand alone shows with over-arching themes to sequential tales of suspense and requirement. Most dramatic shows these days (aside from the myriad of CSI and Law&Order franchises) seem to require you to watch every week lest one miss vital information. I have a hard time supporting that kind of viewing behavior for myself, because I know that it is a treacherous slippery slope for me to attempt to tread. Anyhoo…

Project Runway is/was a must see in my book. It is rather unfortunate that this is the final season on Bravo and that it has just completed and that the show is supposedly moving to L.A. and that it might not even exist due to litigation about its move from Bravo to Lifetime, television for women. This is one of those few shows that I will/did attempt to schedule around.

Burn Notice on USA Network is another that is eminently watchable. The show is like a modern day Magnum PI where there is a good amount of playful banter between characters, an over-arching theme and storyline, but also nice bite-sized pieces to make you feel good about yourself.
Simply Ming is the lone cooking show that I have scheduled to DVR. Unfortunately this show is a bit hit or miss due to Ming Tsai’s (the chef on the show after which the show is named) seems to need most of his food and recipes to slide past the idea of savory flavoring and into fire breathing heat. He also likes to do a bunch of foods with whole fish. Anyhoo… we found some great recipes from his shows. So far we have liked the ribs that we made and the stir fry made with his ginger syrup.

Secrets of the Dead on PBS is also a DVR show for me. Besides the dulcet tones of Live Schreiber narrating the show, it is basically CSI for archeological crime scenes and for people who are not HAWT. The show delves into an archeological site and then reconstructs the events leading up into that snapshot in time. It is very well produced and typically well paced. I do have to mention that occassionally the show focuses on something lesss archeological... that is okay, I guess...

Monsterquest on the History Channel is also a fun watch for me. I do DVR it, but as of late I have not been impressed with the subject matter. So far they have hit the big guns and are now starting to go down the food chain as far as cryptozoologicals are concerned. It was an interesting premise when looking at modern search methods for Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, but it is not that interesting when the subject matter is about big rats. I question its ability to last as an ongoing series. They are clearly starting to run out of credible subject matter.

I have just started watching that show Life on NBC. I am not sure yet if it is one that I will continue following or not. You hear that, Life? You’re on the fence… better make it a good one this week!

To recap:
We are attempting to teach Q that Wifey is not an all you can eat buffet at night
It seems to be working
I will definitely have a Work in Progress to post tomorrow for the neglected tag of Digital Thursday
Looking for a new nanny is difficult
Marinated flank steak with rice and vegetables for dinner tonight
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm steak
It is a simple marinade for simple folk
Oil, Vinegar, Rosemary, Oregano, Salt, Pepper, and Garlic
Why did I capitalize those ingredients?
It is tasty
Then tonight Wifey and I will be enjoying Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog
Listening to I Wanna Be a Cowboy by Boys Don’t Cry ‘cause I am 80’s like that

20 Questions Tuesday: 114 - Half-Assed

This week I have decided that it is much easier to just phone it in… half-ass it… ummm… I would look up some more idiomatic synonyms, but that would take effort.

Thanks this week go to A “C-game” W, “Kinda” Rileyed Up, JA Cop-somethingoranother, John "Maybe" P, Peefer the Meh, and Bel"sorta"sum.

The questions:
1. My coworker had enough of today after 5 hours (including lunch) - is that considered half-assing it?
Well, it is neither half of the ass. Firstly to truly half ass it they either shouldn’t have come into work and stayed at home in their jammies, and secondly if they made it into work they the true way to phone it in is to chat about non-work things.

2. Is work the only place where you 'phone it in'?
Of course.

3. Do you think you'll pass the phoning it in gene to your kids?
I believe if passing happens it already has.

4. What is your opinion of Bluetooth? Helpful or makes people look crazy?
I think Bluetooth can make the crazy look not so crazy. People who talk to themselves are not considered grazy if they have a headset or earbud… I have seen people ranting and raving, flailing their arms crazily and cursing to the heavens. With nary a soul around… I thought they were a bit loopy, but then I saw the Bluetooth earpiece and thought, how businessmanlike.

5. Where did the term "half ass" emerge from? I mean, would it be good to whole ass something? I’m not sure so please explain…is half assing better or worse than full assing it? Is it possible to ¼ ass it?
As for its idiomatic origins, I am sure it had something to do with donkeys and fields and effort. As to the other levels of "assing it," I have no idea.

6. What’s the deal with ET? Why is it considered soooooo great?
I have never watched the movie, so I cannot say. That's right I am a child of the 80's and I have never seen ET.

7. What kind of phone do you use?
It is made by Samsung and I believe the model is the SG-Piece-of-Crap- 465

8. Does little man know how to use the phone?
Not really, and considering that his caregivers are pretty much a 9-1-1 call away from pathological tissue samples, it probably is the right time to teach him about phones.

9. If you’re only putting ½ your ass into the blog, what will the other half be doing? Ummm… sitting

10. Can you still call it “phoning it in” in the age of the Interwebs?
Better than calling it “txtn it n”

11. Why do questions revolve around other things? Is there an orbital-interrogatory theorem I’m unaware of?
The gravitas of a question determines the orbit. So deep questions about tough subjects cause closer and stronger revolutions. I am sure I could get an equation set up if I had the inclination.

12. Did you ever do some phone phreaking as a kid? Use the home phone to call the house, etc.
Get out, the call is coming from inside the house…

13. Would it be possible for us to start up a company that delivers subliminal messages in the elevator music while on hold? Maybe this is already done and I am unawares. Must go buy something now…
I am sure it is buy grape sodas possible to mmmm Nehi is good add subliminal Grape Crush is better than that strawberry crap messages to Welch’s Grape Soda is just around the corner nearly anything.

14. Is Little Man allowed to answer the phone and what is his preferred intro?
We have not banned him from answering, he just doesn’t seem that interested. He doesn’t even like talking to people he likes on the phone much less answering it from someone he doesn’t necessarily know.

15. Alexander Graham Bell: genius or ruinous lay about who was too lazy and impatient to write?
Alexander Graham Bell, The Lazy Bastard of Edinburgh, next on PBS in HD!

16. If you really focused, how long do you think it would take you to do an average week's work.
The problem is not so much focus as down time in between actions. I watch a bunch of progress bars creep across my screen. That being said, if we removed progress bars and computing time, it would boil down to 3 days.

17. A woman's ass can be quite an attractive feature. I don't think this is true for half an ass. Why is that?
Half just does not seem complete.

18. Do you prefer to phone it in (sick, or otherwise), or to inform the boss by e-mail?
I use a phone to his administrative assistant, so not even to him. Any direct contact with him would be waaay too personal.

19. Friday afternoon: a) pub with buddies, b) home ASAP, or c) STRIPPERS!!!?
Sadly b)

20. Which actor of any show you at least half-assedly follow is the most obvious example of phoning it in during their final season before leaving the show?
Jimmy Smits upon exiting NYPD Blue… wasn’t he in a hospital bed for a few episodes or something. His part could have been played by some rolled up blankets.


To recap:
Our section at work has found there is some fun with intercoms
Really pitiful when you think of it
We are trying to figure out a way of changing the ringtones with .wav files
‘Cause we are geeks like that
I could use a grape soda right about now
If I had a hammer…
I am hungry
And half-assing
Not listening to anyone or anything
They can’t make me
Now where is my grape soda?

Is that the phone ringing?

So the trip to the ‘Bama did not occur. On Wednesday the fecal matter started to propagate towards the air circulation system, whereas on Thursday it did make contact. Wifey and Q decided it was time for them to get ill (and not in the rapper warz way either). Wifey’s amazing immune system finally succumbed to the viral agents that had infested Little Man and myself, and Q decided that she was not happy with Wifey’s influenza vaccine infused breast milk. To make a long story short, my marriage… nay, my life would have been in peril had I gone to ‘the Bam’ for Capt McAirforcepant’s nuptials. Such is the way of a papa to a wee one.

That being said, it was a good weekend, nonetheless. Wifey started to climb back from the brink of sinusitis on Saturday evening and by yesterday afternoon she was feeling human again. Q, however, has decided to make us pay for our feeble attempts at sleep. She is like that.

Anyhoo… I will be phoning it in for this week. So this week expect some half assed, weak posts (more halfier-assy and weaker, thank you very much). Next week I shall come back with guns a’blazing and quips a’flyin. Papa Bear needs to take a break before the 4th annual blogaversary special extravaganza. I might post something digital on Thursday, but that depends on if I have my October Challenge done for the Cartographer’s Guild. I should, but let’s not promise anything silly here.

To recap:
Papa Bear is tired and his brain no work so good
Curiously the above statement does not imply causality
It looks like I only have the attention span to be active in more than 2 forums
I know that surprises some of you
10 Days to the 4th Blogaversary
We got a new phone system here at work
Now we cannot prank co-workers
Stupid caller ID
We also cannot save them from conversations that they need to get out of
Stupid caller ID
I am not listening to anything today

20 Questions Tuesday: 113 - Going home again

On Friday I am hi-tailing it out of this cow-town to see Capt McArmypant’s sister ,Capt McAirforcepants, get married to Capt McMarinepants, which gave me the idea to have 20 questions about going home again, traveling in general, and ‘Bama. So here it goes…

Thanks this week go to ACW, John P, Ksig, Belsum, All Rileyed Up, and Atmikha.

On to the questions:
1. Staying with the 'rents?
The choice was between staying with the ‘rents and making them somewhat happy or staying at Capt McArmpants’s haunted house… I chose the mild annoyance of my parents.

2. Did mom keep yours and/or brothers' rooms exactly the same?
Nope, even before they moved they changed things up multiple times. Don’t get me wrong, they didn’t make it any better, but they did change it around.

3. Just you traveling or are you taking the little man? Q? both?
I am flying solo.

4. Will Capt McArmypants be there?
The whole ‘pants clan will be there. His sister Capt. McAirforcepants, His future brother-in-law Capt McMarinepants, his brother Mr McPilotpants, his mom the Rev McBiblepants and her husband Mr McPutterpants. As I understand it, many others from the far flung Mc…pants clan will be there as well (they, as of yet, remain titless).

5. There has to be something you like to see in Bama - right? Can't all be bad - what are you looking forward to (besides other people)?
2 of our cats are still there with my parents. I am looking forward to giving the cats some belly lovin’

6. From what I remember in college you used to average about an hour traversing Tennessee which is about 117 miles. Do you travel with the same velocity now with 2 kids at home?
I only accomplished that feat once, and that was because I was passed in Nashville going 90. My average landspeed has changed considerably since graduating from college.

7. Do you still have the same disdain for stopping while driving to relieve yourself or has the easy access to Depends really cut down on driving time?
I have no issues stopping for breaks now. Especially with my chronic sleep deprivation, stopping and waking myself up might be absolutely necessary.

8. Flying? Driving? Are you flying and if so will you be on any terror watch list? Why choose one or the other?
To my knowledge I am not on the terror watch list. Even though that is the case I will still be driving home. It makes me far less dependant on the parental units, and that is a very important thing.

9. Favorite food from ‘Bama you just can’t get north of the Mason Dixon line and will you get some for home?
Bar-B-Que

10. You can’t go home again because… your parents moved and didn’t tell you where they went or… the neighborhood association has banned you and burned you in effigy?
Even though the ‘rents moved, they accidentally told me where they moved… plus they don't burn effigies in Bama

11. In the song "Oh Susanna", it describes the weather in Alabama as raining but very dry. It also says the sun is hot but people are freezing to death. What gives with Alabama's weather? Do you own a banjo? And if so, do you keep it near your knee?
The song is all about lost love and how life without said love is all topsy turvy and shit, as for the weather in ‘Bama… It is fairly predictable, especially in the spring/summer times.

12. How did the ‘Bamans celebrate Halloween? Pump kin
What’s a ‘Bama quarter? Two dimes and a nickel taped together
The ‘Baman asked his cousin, “Got a little redneck in yeh? Y’ant some?”

My cousins live in Georgia. ‘Bama is the subject of all their jokes. Who do the ‘Bamans make fun of?
The great State of Mississippi and the denizens therein.

13. Give me your best Alabama anagram.
Baa Lama

14. Do people still talk about Bear Bryant?
Well, about 50% of the state populous still talk about Bear… the other 50% talk about Pat Dye.

15. How do people in the 'Bama feel about Tom Hanks' accent in Forrest Gump?
I believe they said, “Hey, Deddy, lookit! They’re talking like us on tha movie pictures.”

16. Ever been to Space Camp?
Nope, but I have been to Redstone Arsenal and the Marshall Space Flight Center a few times.

17. Your ambivalence for your Southern roots are well known (--and by ambivalence, I mean open contempt). Are you looking forward to anything about going back, aside from the Wedding?
Other than the cats and some Bar-B-Que, not really.

18. Who will cook the orange rice while you are gone?
I will be making some Thursday evening after Little Man goes to bed.

19. What do you expect to be the low point of the trip?
The trip. This will, without a doubt, be a supremely stressful and tiresome weekend. Other than seeing Capt. McArmypants, watching his little sis get married, and playing with the cats, I am dreading this weekend. It will not be restful, it will be uncomfortable, it will bring up crappy memories. This is not the recipe for a wonderful wedding

20. Can you explain the Moon Pie?
Nope, I have no explanation of the moon pie… or grits

And one to grow on…
21. Is there anyone you dread running into, and yet who cannot be avoided?
I already mentioned the parents, yes?

To recap:
I need to get the oil in my car changed
And a nap
Slept for crap last night
So I ache and am tired
A winning combination to be sure
Interview Number 2 tonight for the nanny position
I am giddy with excitement
The Intertubes sucks when it comes to writing sarcasm
Man, I am tired
Listening to Can You Picture That by Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

5 Things

Yeah, you read that right. 5 Things

Thing the first:
The problem with me and getting well after a bout of head-coldy sickness is that when it is over, when it is all said and done I have some nasty assed shit spew forth from my sinus passages… I mean it comes out orange and frothy… and it just keeps coming… and then you, and I do mean you as in not me but someone who is potentially near me, can hear air entering into those sinus passages. With how disgusting that sounds and it is truly disgusting, just be glad you are not me. Well, be glad that you are not me for this specific reason this time. Okay now you can go back to the general feeling of being glad you are not me.

Thing the second:
The issue with IKEA stores is not even the furiniture which is pretty much well made and relatively inexpensive. The issue with IKEA stores is the lower level stuff. Those who have been to a store know what I am talking about. Inexpensive accoutrement all over the place is just waiting to be purchased. It is not the furniture that people spend all their money… it is the extra stuff downstairs. Did we need a 17 piece set of plastic food containers? No… did I mention it was $1.99? Then we need 3. That place is one of those places that you could seriously go broke saving money. I hate you IKEA store only because I love you so much.

Thing the third:
Little Man is still quite into trains. Whilst Wifey, Q, and I were at IKEA spending the kids’ college money for a bag of 48 stainless steel sporks, Little Man and his Mimma were at the number one railfanning site in the state of Ohio. They saw 5 to 7 trains in a very short timeframe. The initial report was 5, then it was reduced to 6, but he can only recall 5 trains. Anyway… he was on cloud nine with his Mim Saturday whilst Wifey and I were worried he was feeling left out.

Thing the fourth:
We start the nanny interviewing process again tonight. This is such a difficult process made even more difficult by Wifey and my particular idiosyncratic lists of things we would like. For some reason “hotty who likes flabby wheezing mouth breathing balding guys” is NOT on her list. Go figure.

Currently we have a good universe of options from which to pick, so hopefully this decision will be made by this weekend.

Thing the fifth:
I am heading down ‘Bama-way on Friday to see Capt McArmypant’s younger sister get married. Oddly enough, she is Capt. McAirForcepants who is getting married to a Capt McMarinepants. Hey McArmypants! You need to look for an O-3 in the navy to round out this United Colors of Beneton Military family. So, McArmpants, quit your whining and get yourself to some navy posts and hit on all the Lieutenants you can see. It’s the Navy so you don’t necessarily have to limit yourself to one team.

To recap:
I will actually have something for Digital Thursday this week
Well, hopefully, at least
I have a few irons in the fire digitally speaking, of course
I am tired of blowing my nose
My cube neighbors are tired of me snorting
This sickness is tiring
Listening to my sinuses de-pressurize and fill with air

Un-digital Thursday

The cold meds I am on at the moment make it difficult for me to concentrate. No post today.

To recap:
Advil Cold and Sinus gelcaps, while good at alleviating sinus pressure have a side effect of malaise
Of course I have a primordial tendency towards malaise
That could be the culprit
I would rather blame the cold meds
I need more caffeine as well
But who doesn't?
No really. Who doesn't?
Anyone who says they don't need caffeine to survice cold medicine and boredom is a liar pants
There, I said it
They are a Liar McLiarpants from Fibbville, Tennesse
And a jerk
They are a jerk named Liar McLiarpants from Lower Fibbville, Tennesse
And should be shot
From close range
With paperclips from rubber bands
I mean it
Listening to the arcade music in my head...
Have a great weekend everyone

2 things

Thing the First:

The problem with being sick as a parent is that you still have to be “on.” There is no holing yourself in a room and sleeping the illness away without active and constant assistance from somewhere. I am a bit under the weather right now. If I were in my 20’s with no kids in tow, I would alert my wife to my illitude and sleep it off for 14 hours emerging stubbly yet for the most part unscathed. In some ways I miss those days.

This is merely a head cold. A head cold that through the miracles of modern science will be mitigated by altering my body chemistry and allowing me to fogilly move through the day. As it is I feel like I am running at about 56% of my baseline mental capacity. Since I am normally running at 78%, that means I and at a whopping 43.68% mental capacity of a typical hairless ape. Just thought you should know.

Thing the Second:

One of my coworkers knows a guy who is a train engineer. He drives trains and everything. I thought he was working for Norfolk Southern but is seems (via evidence) that he in fact works for CSX Transportation (who are running some killer commercials right now). Anywho… I contacted him about a year ago to see if there was any train swag he could send my way for a 4 year old (at the time). I never really heard back from the guy. No biggie. Nothing lost nothing gained. Move on.

Well, it seems he probably saw us out at the Weber Road crossing gate the other day whilst they were replacing the CSX track crossing (they own the rights to the Westernmost track of the three tracks that cross that street). Well, there was some temporary track across the street at time and the trains had to travel very slowly across the temp stuff. Needless to say there was a bunch of waving “face time” with the train personnel that evening and the following evening.

Lo and behold 5 days later SWAG

Thanks to train engineer, Eric and his middle man ACW for the kick ass Engineer’s Lantern for Little Man. He loves it. He has already had to use it since someone stole a bunch of the copper wire Monday and Tuesday morning causing us to have some outages in the wee hours of those mornings. The lantern is an unmitigated success. I did a great job of keeping the dark at bay.

To recap:
Ill = not good
I am tired
I will be leaving work early today
Yippee!
Because I am sick
Boooooooo!
Listening to my own sniffles and sneezes

20 Questions Tuesday: 112 - Animals 2

Here we are again at the crossroads of life known as 20 Questions Tuesday. This installment of the cultural phenomenon is the second in a 2 part series of questions regarding animals. For some reason second in a 2 part series sounds much better than the conclusion of a 2 part series. I wonder why that is? Anyway… The questions are about animals.

Thanks this week go to All Rileyed Up, JA Coppinger, Dr B Dawg, Amy, and Wifey.

On to the questions :

1. Did you ever watch the Tiny Toons movie How I Spent My Summer Vacation? How hilarious was Elmyra at the wild animal drive through park?
Nope, never saw that movie. I was not a big Tiny Toons fan. The whole Tiny Toons idea seemed weak from the beginning. The concept was clearly a product of groupthink. What caqn I say, when it comes to Warner Brothers cartoons, I am a purist.

2. I believe you have a no-pets-allowed situation on the home front? Does Little Man ever ask for pets or is he cool without them? Would you consider a hairless pet, like a turtle or fish?
We are a furry animal free house due to Little Man’s allergies and asthma, but so far he has not wanted to have any animals in the house. I am not averse to having a hairless “pet” in the house, but in my opinion turtles, iguanas, and fish are not pets as much as visual oddities of which to simply behold. There is not much interactivity with them and therefore I question their pethood.

3. You lived in the south. Got any good alligator stories?
Other than eating some fried gator tail at a boat up restaurant outside of Tampa, I have no gator stories.

4. Why do fairs continue to give away goldfish that die quickly and force us to teach our children about death?
Fairs are evil places with glorious fried delectables. Honestly, if they battered the gold fish, deep fried it, and sprinkled it with powdered sugar I wouldn’t even be fielding this question.

5. What was the name and your fondest memory of your first pet?
We had a cat while I was growing up named, Sox (think Chicago White Sox). Anywho… I don’t really know why but she would always put her paw on my nose… I miss that.

6. How awesome was Animal from the Muppets?
Pert darn near perfect.

7. What did you think of Orwell’s “Animal Farm”?
Never read it. Somehow I got away with not having to read it. In many ways that makes me very happy.

8. Which animal would you like to genetically manipulate to take down the Hippos of the world?
Meer Kats. I would love to see them swarm a hippo like piranha on a injured swimming capybara.

9. Do house cats think of themselves as small lions or big lions?
Big big lions

10. Which animals would Heidi Klum dismiss first from Project Runway - the striped, the spotted or the furry ones?
I think the simply furry ones would be sent home first because of not going far enough to sell their look. Then the spotted ones would be out because of trying too hard to be spotted. Last to go would be the striped, but if anything were dappled, it would win.

11. If an animal were to maul you to death, which would you prefer it be?
A Yeti, but a girl yeti… this time.

12. If you had the chance to name a species after you, what would you name it and what would you like for it to look or act like?
The mmmmmpig, it would look much like a pig except much more bacony.

13. How do you feel about children growing up with pets? Do you think it makes a difference on their immune system (fewer allergies as adults)?
I like children growing up with pets because of the love of animals, but I don’t think having them in the house does anything for or against allergies. Little Man came into a household of 3 cats, but still developed a rather severe allergy to cat dander. Part of that reaction is due to the exposure and part is just a predisposition.

14. Marmosets or meerkats?
Meer Kats… see question number 8

15. I already know your favorite animal - the wolverine. (cue: the only one who kills for pleasure). I already know your least favorite animal - the hippo. (albeit for no fault of its own, rather for not having any natural enemies). You are a man of strong passions...what is the animal that you simply feel "meh" about?
The gnu. Mainly due to the spelling. Whatev.

16. What is the silliest animal that Little Man is afraid of?
Swiper.

17. How come it's perfectly acceptable for lions to kill a gazelle and eat it raw, but when I eat steak out of the fridge I'm all barbaric and stuff?
Because you have thumbs and the ability to warm meat. Do you think that lions really want raw gazelle? If they had the opportunity to feast on Gazelle cakes with a spicy remoulade, don’t you think they would? We have a microwave, you barbarous carnivore.

18. Animal print sheets: does it really ignite passion or does it make you laugh hysterically thereby reducing your ability to perform?
I have never had the occasion to test whether or not animal print sheets would cause me passion or hysterics. I also think it may depend on the animal print. Tiger stripes would have a better chance of passion than say Okapi print sheets. Leopard print might work better than say, a tortoise shell print.

19. Animal Crackers – aren’t they really a cookie? I mean, would they go in soup? Animal crackers: iced or un-iced? or should I say nasty or un-iced?
Animal crackers are cookies and should be iced with pink icing.

20. Baddest animal you ever came across while scouting? Ever seen an animal in nature that took your breath away?
Black Bear with cub…. Black Bear with cub


To recap:
We are looking for a new nanny now
The current nanny is moving into Cananananda in a few weeks
She sent in her 2 weeks notice on Sunday
That makes us sad because she was great with the kids
Back to the drawing board
Oh, well
I think my allergy season is upon me
Stupid allergies
Listening to my phone ring
Gotta go.

3 Things

One would think that after 3 days of not blogging (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) I would have an easier time coming up with a topic for a Monday Post. One would be incorrect and slightly stoopid. One needs to recognize that I am not that talented nor am I that observant of my surroundings. One should also realize that one should ponder more important questions than whether or not I will have a ready at hand topic for Monday’s post. Truly one has their priorities misplaced.

Upon sensible reflection there are 3 things of which to illumine today.

Thing the First: One kid feeling a bit off over a weekend is difficult… 2 is really a different level of difficulty. Both kids got some shots on Friday and therefore were a bit under the weather over the weekend. Neither was really sick enough to be out of it. They were both just sick enough to be lethargic but not sick enough to not be bored. It is a perfect level of sickness.

Thing the Second: The house looks much better clean. Well, duh. Wifey and I focused on cleaning for our Sunday activity. We focused so much on it that Little Man actually joined the fray willingly. Scratch this from the record. The House looks much better clean? Come on, SRH, you can do better than that.

Thing the Second (Again): It turns out that I cannot in fact do better than the simple statement “The house looks much better clean.” I tried and, unfortunately, I am not nearly as capable as I had thought. My apologies.

Thing the Third: Little Man got the most kick-assiest haircut yesterday. Really, he looks awesome. Wee waited probably about a week too long to get a haircut for him, but the one we got clearly makes up for the lack of haircut a week ago.

To recap:
More animal questions tomorrow
I could sleep right now without even waiting 30 seconds
This weather is creating some head-ish discomfort
Not bad enough discomfort to call it a head ache, but discomfort none the less
Wifey is going to another “jewelry party” tonight
Guys don’t have those kinds of parties
I think I am phoning it in for the week
Enjoy!
Not listening to anything right now

Un-Digital Thursday

I don't have anything artistic to post today. I have been I am currently sitting 3rd in the competition for last Thursday's Digital Thursday piece over at the Cartographer’s Guild. The community there has set up some interesting voting processes. They take the number of entries and divide that by 5 and round up. The resultant quotient is how many votes that each individual voter can cast. I like that it creates voting system that is like applied fuzzy logic. There have been 116 voters casting votes so far, and the margin of victory with 116 votes is only 8, and the difference between myself and the person in second is only 1 vote. The 2 entries that are currently sitting ahead of me are very worthy entries by very capable cartographers. Winning and losing in this It has still been a fun vote to watch.

I think this month’s challenge will be another interesting free for all, but that is a topic for a different Digital Thursday.

Since I do not have anything digital to share, I will tell you a little tidbit about Q.

Last night I bathed both kids in succession. First I got Little Man all sparkling clean and did the best of his bedtime routine. Then after Wifey got home from a meeting I bathed off Q while Wifey was regaled with tales of train watching. I have never seen a child enjoy a bath as much as Q. She gets absolutely giddy when she hears and sees her bath being filled. But the smile of bath anticipation holds nothing on the gleeful face associated with the third minute of immersion. It takes her about three minutes to really soak in the fact that she is really actually IN the bathtub. That it is actually happening… to her. That is when the ear to ear grin crawls across her face.

Pretty soon there will be giggles associated with her beaming smile. That will make the time all that much sweeter.

To recap:
I will have something for Digital Thursday next week
I think that I just needed a break.
Next week I will be back and stronger for the rest
I really need to pee
To bad I am not at the governor’s mansion
Listening to a Never Gonna Give You Up cover by Cake from their B-Sides and Rarities release
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 111 - Animals, Part 1

So, I had a hard time coming up with a topic for the 20 Questions Tuesday for today. I hemmed and hawed about various different ideas and finally came to rest of the topic of animals. Well, it turns out that people have all sorts of questions loosely based on the idea of animals. So far I have gotten 51 questions and most if not all of them are serviceable. Let me clarify that point. I DQ some questions because they are too personal, redundant, or dumb.

Thanks this week go to: Lord Pithy, ACW, Sparky, Belsum, and John P.

On to the questions:
1. WTF is up with cats?
OMG, I have no idea.

2. Which would be worse to find in your bed, a horse head, a living platypus or the other half of the horse?
The other half of a horse… it is heavy and filled with... with... fluids.

3. If you could be any animal other than a primate, what would it be?
Probably a housecat. Bunch of pampered lazabouts.

4. Would you rather go naked than wear fur?
Nope. I would rather be dressed in a fur suit… wait how warm is it outside?

5. How cool would it be if you could shed your skin like a snake (by rubbing up against a rock)?
Would it have to be a rock? Couldn’t I get the same effect by rubbing up against some rough bark on a tree or maybe the edge of a building or such. The yes/no answer depends on whether or not the skin flakes off like dandruff or would come off in one big floppy skin suit looking thing.

6. Any animal types permitted in the SRH household?
None are permitted…

7. Party like an animal??? I haven't seen any partying animals - so what gives?
WHAT?!?! What about Spudz MacKenzie?

8. Animals - the last acceptable group for mascots?
Let’s be clear there are only a few animals that fall into that category. You are never going to see the “Fighting Baboons” take the field unless you are watching a nature show and some baboons are fighting in a field.

9. Are you hungry like the wolf?
No, but I do smell like I sound.

10. What's your favorite animal to eat? (with apologies to the vegetarian/vegan readers, of course)
It is a toss up between pig and cow. Pig makes ham and bacon…… mmmmmm bacon, but cow makes steak and hamburger. How to choose? I will go with cow. It is more versatile, meatwise.

11. Deer and coyote are roaming our neighborhood in the 'burbs. The coyotes like the deer...the deer like to eat the landscaping flowers...everyone is freaked out. Many residents, myself included, have spotted coyotes running wild in the cul de sacs and some neighborhood pups have been attacked. My neighbor is very freaked out by animals and so she's flippin' at the notion of deer and coyotes in the yard. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much would this freak you out?
3

12. What’s your favorite Animals song? Why?
You know the night time, oh, is the right time
To be with the one you love.
I said the night time, ooh, is the right time
To be with the one you love.
I said the night time, ooh, is the right time
To be with the one you love.

Baby, I said a baby, baby, come on and drive me crazy,
Lord,You know I love you; always thinkin' of you.
Hey, baby; oh, I said a baby.

You know the night time is the right time
To be with the one you love.
Aaaah!I
said the night time oh, is the right time
To be with the one you love.
I said the night time, ooh, is the right time
To be with the one you love.
I said the night time oh, is the right time
To be with the one you love


13. Which is your favorite band named after an animal? What’s your favorite song of theirs? Why?
The Aquabats!

14. Animal: best Muppet ever or just best drummer ever? Discuss
There really isn’t much to discuss. The answer is yes and yes, hands down... move on... next question.

15. If Mary Jane were to refer to Peter Parker as any other animal than “tiger” what should it be and why?
Duckmole, because platypus takes too much effort.

16. Were you ever an animal for Halloween as a kid? Which one? Who decided on that costume?
Nope, but I know someone who dressed up as a monkey for at least 7 years.

17. Which came first the platypus or the egg?
The egg. Egg laying animals came long before Platypi.

18. Does Little Man have a favorite stuffed animal?
He has a few that he cycles through: Pinto the horse, Leopard the leopard, and Shmuze-me the Dog.

19. Iced or plain animal crackers? Mmm, need to get some milk now
Iced… the pink iced Keebler animal crackers cookies

20. If you could be reincarnated as any animal what would it be? Let’s allow the mythic creatures to also be included for consideration. I have learned it is best to give you a lot of latitude.
Any animal, mythic or not? I would go with a Titan. I’d give Zues whatfor.


To recap:
For some reason I am having the hardest time recapping today
I think it is because I need to burp
Okay, that should clear things up now…
Sorry people in adjacent cubes
I have started mixing in the Diet Mt Dews with the full on Mt Dews these days
The metabolism is not what it used to be
Snow on Mars? WTF!?!
Listening to Cream and Bastards Rise by Harvey Danger off of Little by Little

Toe-May-Toe Toe-Mah-Toe

So, on Friday I had the pleasure of watching both kids… at the same time! A little bit scary and a little bit fun. Therefore I have a few comments about Friday:

Thing the First: Wifey gets to do some interesting stuff. The day long event that Wifey was doing was a forum on kids and the out of doors and how much those two groups don’t interact as much as they should. This particular instance was a grass roots movement that has grown. Grown enough that the event was held at the Ohio Governor’s Mansion.

Thing the Second: During the day long event that Wifey was working, she realized that she did not have her breast pump and therefore the “girls” were getting a bit uncomfortable by around 2 in the afternoon. So she calls me up and asks if I can bring Q by to help her out with this predicament.

Sure thing, no problem. I will just waltz up to a governor’s mansion and demand that my baby be fed by someone facilitating an afternoon long process. I am sure that security won’t have an issue with that. Turns out that security did, in fact, not have an issue with that. I park on the street in front of the residence and get both kids out of the car. I walk up to an ajar gate and pass through into a driveway. I look at the State Troopers in the guard house and give them a “Sup” head nod. I get one in return and head into the back garden of the Governor’s Mansion. WTF?!?!? WHAT IF I HAD BEEN EL ZORRO, THE FOX, AND THIS HAD BEEN THE CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR’S MANSION?!?!?!?

Thing the Third: Little Man was running around in the back yard of the Governor’s Mansion like a mutant chicken. I am not sure what that means, but there are some 7 year old out there shouting “I’m a mutant chicken” and I just want to be hip. He runs past some park benches and some picnic tables. He runs past some shrubs and small trees. He runs past a small green house. He runs behind a small vegetable garden. He comes around a corner eating something. He goes around another picnic table. He… wait a second? Was he EATING something!?!?!

Little Man has stolen some cherry tomatoes from the Governor’s Mansion. Brilliant.

To recap:
I peed in the Governor’s Mansion
Twice
Went hiking on Sunday
The whole fam went hiking on Sunday
There were 4 of us
Not 3
4 of us
Great Googily Moogily! There are 4 of us!
Listening to conversations with co-workers
I wish it were music
But it is not.