Damn you Little Debbie! Damn you to Hell!

Still no word from the buyer about the inspection. They actually have until mid-night tonight to submit a “request for remedy.” After that, as far as we know, the deal moves forward. At that point I will actually inform my parents of our impending move. We figured they should know at some point. I mean really, it is not going to be a big deal. We will have the same phone number and our mail will be forwarded. I mean, what’s the big reason for telling them?

Anyway… lunch today was horribly unsatisfying. To start with, the base of today’s midday repast is a cheap ass frozen thing from Stouffer’s. Now of the frozen types of meals, Stouffer’s seems to have some of the highest quality and good consistency of product, but it is, nonetheless, a cheap ass frozen thing. These meals are never enough sustenance on their own so I have started supplementing it with chips of some form. Today I have decided on the organic Tostitos that are out at the moment. The ingredients for these bad boys is corn meal, corn oil, sea salt and love. They are quite the delectable chip. Well, this morning whilst trying to usher Little Man out of the house, he saw my chips and wanted some of them. He has a limited array of potential foodstuffs. He wants my chips that he can eat… he gets my chips that he can eat. As a substitute I get a measly bag of Doritos from the vending machine. Crappy assed frozen thing and measly bag of Doritos of an unknown vintage constituted my unsatisfying lunch today.

Needless to say, I went down to the snack machine and purchased for myself a dessert since I was still hungry and the main course did not satisfy. I chose a “Double Decker Oatmeal Creme Pie” from the evil bastards that work for Little Debbie Snacks at McKee Foods in Collegedale, Tennessee. Did they really have to make this thing a double decker? Sweet mother of Debbie! The single is unhealthy enough. I might as well just eat a spoonful of lard with a high fructose corn syrup chaser.

For me the oatmeal creme pie is one of my seriously unhealthy little dalliances. My other is the Hostess Lemon Pie. Those things are evil incarnated with sweet white and yellow centers respectively. Mmmmm…. Hostess Lemon Pie…. Anyway… the issue with these 2 particular foodstuffs, is that whilst partaking of their confectionary goodness, it is like eating a sweet slice of heaven on a cloud, but once the last morsel is consumed, the heavenly cloud sits in your gullet like a clod of clay.

Due to my weakness for the delicacy of my childhood, I will be weighed down by unseen forces exerted upon me by the disembodied spirit of the double decker oatmeal creme pie for the rest of my day. Moving has definitely become an issue, and motivation is right out. At least we know where all of this stands now, and by stand, I mean “sit languidly at my desk trying not to sleep.”

To recap:
If we don’t hear something by midnight tonight, we don’t have to repair a darn thing
Frozen lunches are not satisfying… ever
Little Man likes the tortilla
I feel really ill for having eaten the forbidden double decker creme pie
Me so tired
Damn you Little Debbie! Damn you to Hell!!