Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the impending holiday of July the 4th. The topic for today is technically “July 4th - July 4th Celebrations - Patriotic Holidays, etc” I got an amazing amount of responses to this call for questions. I guess this is a topic that is near and dear to many folk. Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Tree Monkey, Bomber, ACW, Belsum, Dr Civil, and JW. I got more than 30 questions, but since the topic is soooo time sensitive I am just going to cull some of the Q’s instead of tabling the topic until next week. In fact in honor of the nation’s birthday, I will add on 5 extra questions. That is a celebration beyond compare.

On to the questions:
1. Could my hearing impairment be in any way connected to having a firecracker go off in my ear when I was 7?
Say again? I missed that.

2. Which would hurt more: a Roman candle enema or forced viewing of an American Idol marathon?
That is a tough one…. Unless it was watching American Idol contestants run a marathon then the answer would be easy. I still will have to go with the AI marathon just because my family has bestowed me with an amazing gift of tuning certain things out.

3. Favorite response: "ooooh" or "ahhhhhh"?
“You said WHAT?!?!” is my favorite, but in this case I will go with “ahhhh.” That is also the sound one makes when they put sore feet in a cold stream.

4. Would having a rocket in your pocket really intensify your lusty endeavors?
Not that I am aware of. In fact it is a bit bizarre and kind of sexually frightening.

5. Which of the Founding Fathers would you say is the yummiest?
I would have to go with Alexander Hamilton. That Scottish burr gets me every time. Not Aaron Burr mind you, although he is involved with Hamilton’s ultimate demise.

↑↑↑↑HOTTIE↑↑↑↑

6. Will you and the family be attending any fireworks this 4th? Does Little Man like fireworks? Will Little Man go to any fireworks viewings? Which fireworks display will you be viewing?
We are not sure whether or not we will go to the local fireworks display here in Clintonville. Last year we got Little Man ready and went but after the first explosion went off, he was done.

7. Is Red, White and Boom really as great as it is talked up to be? Red, White & Boom - I've heard "skip it." What do you think? Which is more interesting, the fireworks or the people at "Red, White and Boom"?
You have to seriously consider the source of your Red White and Boom information. I personally do not like people, therefore large gatherings of people is not a big draw for me. If you like festival type stuff and shoulder to shoulder people, this might be your thing. I don’t like people and am not overly impressed with fireworks, so Red White and Boom is not a good fit. I would (and am) personally skip (ping) it. As for the people v fireworks? I hate people, so I would only be there for the fireworks.

8. What is your favorite “picnic” food?
Hamburgers

9. If you could invite anyone to your 4th BBQ this year and they would attend, who would you invite? You're allowed two answers - one famous person and one not famous person (as in, you know, a friend).
Famous: Mathew McConaughey: We could charge admission to many a folk to come by, and I could be entertained by his folksy Tennessean humor. Plus, I would get lucky with Wifey later. She wouldn't be thinking about me, but I would still be getting lucky.
NonFamous: Capt. McArmypants – he would not be in Afghanistan then

10. Do you like North Carolina vinegar-based BBQ?
Not really, I am more of a Kansas City BBQ guy. Texas style is nice as well.

11. What's the secret ingredient in Bush's baked beans? And what's the secret ingredient in Chipotle’s rice? My husband and I swear it is some kind of sleep-inducing crack cocaine. It makes us simultaneously want more Chipotle AND want to sleep!
RE: the baked beans - Apathy and Brazilian brown sugar.
RE: the Chipotle - Cilantro is an odd beast of a flavoring. It is not a strong flavor but it is noticeable when it is there, and it makes you want more. The sleep is induced by the vast quantity of food.

12. Is it true that the Declaration was signed on July 8th and that everyone just agreed to it on the 4th?
Word on the street is that the resolution was adopted on the 4th and then signed by the majority of signers on August 2nd.

13. Was Dolly Madison an 18th century porn star? Come on, with a name like Dolly?!
Nope, she makes baked goods, doesn’t she?

14. Has there ever been a US war that the US public hasn't been totally feed up with by the 3rd year? I believe the answer is no.
I do not believe so.

15. Why is it called "flying the flag?" We don't fly it - it just stays there on a stick - not unlike a hot dog.
That is a very good question. A question, in fact, for which I have no ready answer.
16. I’m going to go ahead and rip off Jay Leno. Feel free to attribute The Tonight Show as the source of these questions. He asked them last week in a Jay-Walking segment and people did not know the answers. Sheesh. What the hell man?
A: What is the reason for celebrating on the 4th of July?
B: Who did America become independent from?
C: What did Paul Revere say when the British were coming?
D: Who was the general during the American Revolution?
E: What year did America become independent?

A: No other summer holidays that we can use as an excuse to drink.
B: From whom did America become independent? Be mindful of your grammar.
C: EGADS!
D: General Horatio Gates
E: We are still dependent on oil from OPEC, labor from Mexico, cheap goods from China, etc...

17. Is it true that only a man can properly operate a grill?
Are you saying that a woman cannot handle your meat?

18. Did our forefathers declare independence on the 4th of July because they were ready and it was the first step to international recognition or because it was hot and muggy in Philly and they were just feeling a bit pissy?
A little of Column A, a little of Column B.

19. There ain't no Question 19.
Why there no Question 19?

20. Did the Canadians just pretty much copy us with their whole Canada Day thing? And couldn't they have come up with a better name?
Well, I think it was a bit of a “Hey, I want a day too” from our northern neighbors, but as for Canada Day vs 4th of July? I am not sure either of them really wins a holiday naming contest.

***FIVE EXTRA QUESTIONS***

21. Independence Day...cool movie or dud?
That movie sucked baboon butt. God, it was horrible!

22. Will you be attending the Doo Dah Parade this year?
Nope. I hate parades. Too many people in one place for me.

23. What hunk/s of meat will be grilling for Wifey and Little Man for the 4th?
There will probably be some hamburgers, brats, hot-dogs and possibly chicken.

24. Have you blown any appendages off due to firecrackers? (Or at least come close)
I am the epitome of fireworks safety on the 4th of July. Now, on the 5th of July, my brother and I would attach the left over fireworks to some old models and blow them to smithereens (Stop weeping, ACW). In fact we joined the “snap-tight model of the month club” just for that purpose. On July 5th we would blow up 24 crappy snap together models with m-80's, black cat firecrackers, whistlers, and the odd roman candle or two.

25. Have you become the old guy in the neighborhood that always complains about "Those damn kids and their fireworks" when those said kids start lighting said fireworks?
Not yet, but if that ball comes in my yard again, it’s mine!

To recap:
Happy 30th Kim!
I am hungry
Lunch was tasty, but small
Not really small, but I am still hungry anyway
I mean, really, it was a significant portion of food
Not sure how the family will be celebrating the holiday tomorrow
ZingerZapper has decided to be an auburn haired vixen
Little Man ate 12 mini banana muffins yesterday
It is a good thing Wifey and he made 24
Little Man had a nightmare last night
I slept with him in his big boy bed from 4:30 to 7:30 this morning
His “big boy bed” is not really that big of a bed
And his Spongebob Squarepants sheets are like fine grain sandpaper
Hey, Wifey, we need to wash those sheets about a dozen times!