So, I glibly asked people for questions about the weather because when you don’t have anything else to say, you start talking about the weather. So far I have gotten a glut of questions. This topic will definitely span 2 weeks. Today there will be a high of 91ºF (32.778º C) and sunny.
Thanks this week go to Bomber, WV Slim, Dustin, Lord Pithy, Lsig, Tree Monkey, and JA Coppinger.
On to the questions:
1. What was the weather like on the day you were married? on the day Little Man was born? (give the date, please)
Wedding - 09.06.97: The weather was typical for a fall day. It was partly cloudy in the morning with a hint of chill. I think it got into the upper 70’s that day. It was a gorgeous day.
Little Man birth - 07.25.03: Hot and sunny and wonderful
2. What weather disaster to you find most frightening?
Tornados. Tornadic activity is so sporadic and arbitrary. One house can be completely obliterated while the neighbor’s is untouched.
3. Why are weathermen so odd and unappealing, yet weatherwomen tend to be sorta hot? Why can't the female viewers (or gay men) get the joy of some eye candy while learning whether we need a sweater the next day?
The initial reasons have to do with the fact that most meteorologists in the beginning were men because women were discouraged from studying sciences. So the nerdy guys were the meteorologists and the women on TV were hot “weather readers.” Now people expect women on TV who deal with weather to be hot. Men? There has not been too much of a clamor for hotness. I think people looking towards beefcake don't generally look to the news
4. How can there be global warming if there is a huge hole in the ozone layer?
It is quite cold under the hole in the ozone layer. I always find it interesting that many of the arguments about global warming occur when it is coldest outside or about areas that are insanely cold. In college, the only article I ever saw about global warming in the student newspaper was printed when it was -14ºF (-25.55ºC). No one gave a crap about the negative effects of global warming when they couldn't feel their toes from frost bite.
5. Do you like Columbus' climate?
Pretty much
6. Waterspouts: “totally awesome” or “totally will ruin your day on the beach”?
Waterspouts are completely awesome. Awesome to the max!
7. What’s the biggest piece of hail you’ve ever had hit you?
Pea-sized. I was backpacking in New Mexico. Oh, I am urbane.
8. Do you find fog comforting?
I more find fog eerie and foreboding, especially at night.
9. On Gilligan's Island, why was it always a sunny bright day unless weather was needed as a plot point? I mean, it was never just a drizzly day in the background. What's up with that?
Well, the weather in the 3 hour tour radius from Hawai’i is very story driven. It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very complicated.
10. All of my knowledge of California weather comes from the Brady Bunch. It never rains in California. Why isn't California one big desert?
It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.
11. If you were a weather pattern, what would you be?
Stationary Front…. uh... I’m gonna wait
12. How would you mess with the TV weatherman if you were an intern producer? (Not a producer of interns, but a producer serving his internship at a television station.)
Porn.
13. Growing up in Ohio, I always heard people complain about how you never knew what the weather was going to be from one day to the next, or even from the morning to the afternoon. I assumed that this was true everywhere, and that wherever anyone lived they would complain about the same thing. Having moved to a different state, I now know that, no, Ohio does actually have some pretty bi-polar weather patterns. Can you account for this?
Ohio is in an area where 3 different predominant weather systems collide. We get dry cold air from the north (Thanks Canada). We get hot wet air from the Gulf States. We get even more stuff coming in from the Mountain States to the west. Since all 3 of those meet in Ohio, Ohio’s weather is very volatile. It can change rather rapidly and pretty significantly.
14. What is the best weather-related song?
A) "It's raining men" by the Weather Girls
B) "Walking on sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves
C) "Here comes the rain again" by the Eurythmics
D) " Sunshine on my shoulder" by John Denver
E) Some other choice of your own (please state your selection)
I choose you, B! Katrina and the Waves’ “Walking on Sunshine” is absolutely contagious.
15. Do you think the “hot, humid, 100 degree” weather is done for the year? Even my cat has taken to jumping in the fridge, it’s been so darn warm!
August is not over just yet, so kitty-cicles might still be part of the freezer on your fridge.
16. Living in Alabama, have you ever experienced any “extreme” weather?
Remnants of Hurricanes. Tornadic stuff. Southern super cells, but I would not say that I have experienced weather to the X-TREME!
17. Snow: why is some of it wet and heavy, while other times it light and dry?
All about the relative humidity when the snow is formed. That and it has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.
18. Ever stood outside in a violent storm just to say “Damn, that’s cool!”?
This past Saturday. (much to Wifey's chagrin)
19. Is a “dry heat” really any better than a humid heat?
Depends on what you are trying to cook. Steamed vegetables, I would suggest a rather humid heat. Dry heat is for pizza, baby!
20. What’s up with the weather people? Can’t they open up a window in the studio and see that their “current forecast” (oxymoron, BTW!) is just plain WRONG????
Most news studios don’t have windows. Some don’t have doors. They slide food through a slit in the wall and then get tasered back into their sleeping chambers.
To Recap:
Yes, I said "Awesome to the max!"
I am not sure if “taser” should be a verb
I amend that, it should most definitely be a verb
I also believe that donut should be a verb as well
And not necessarily in the driving in circles way
I mean the chucking a donut to a friend so that they can consume it greedily
Now that’s a verb!
Yo, G! Donut me!
You know what I’m saying
After 3 bad experiences giving blood I am about to do it again
I hope I don’t have to punch anyone this time
I hate punching blood letters
Blood letters are not like runes, they are people who draw blood
I know there is a more technical term for it
But "leech wrangler" sounds so Medieval
I need a nap
Thanks this week go to Bomber, WV Slim, Dustin, Lord Pithy, Lsig, Tree Monkey, and JA Coppinger.
On to the questions:
1. What was the weather like on the day you were married? on the day Little Man was born? (give the date, please)
Wedding - 09.06.97: The weather was typical for a fall day. It was partly cloudy in the morning with a hint of chill. I think it got into the upper 70’s that day. It was a gorgeous day.
Little Man birth - 07.25.03: Hot and sunny and wonderful
2. What weather disaster to you find most frightening?
Tornados. Tornadic activity is so sporadic and arbitrary. One house can be completely obliterated while the neighbor’s is untouched.
3. Why are weathermen so odd and unappealing, yet weatherwomen tend to be sorta hot? Why can't the female viewers (or gay men) get the joy of some eye candy while learning whether we need a sweater the next day?
The initial reasons have to do with the fact that most meteorologists in the beginning were men because women were discouraged from studying sciences. So the nerdy guys were the meteorologists and the women on TV were hot “weather readers.” Now people expect women on TV who deal with weather to be hot. Men? There has not been too much of a clamor for hotness. I think people looking towards beefcake don't generally look to the news
4. How can there be global warming if there is a huge hole in the ozone layer?
It is quite cold under the hole in the ozone layer. I always find it interesting that many of the arguments about global warming occur when it is coldest outside or about areas that are insanely cold. In college, the only article I ever saw about global warming in the student newspaper was printed when it was -14ºF (-25.55ºC). No one gave a crap about the negative effects of global warming when they couldn't feel their toes from frost bite.
5. Do you like Columbus' climate?
Pretty much
6. Waterspouts: “totally awesome” or “totally will ruin your day on the beach”?
Waterspouts are completely awesome. Awesome to the max!
7. What’s the biggest piece of hail you’ve ever had hit you?
Pea-sized. I was backpacking in New Mexico. Oh, I am urbane.
8. Do you find fog comforting?
I more find fog eerie and foreboding, especially at night.
9. On Gilligan's Island, why was it always a sunny bright day unless weather was needed as a plot point? I mean, it was never just a drizzly day in the background. What's up with that?
Well, the weather in the 3 hour tour radius from Hawai’i is very story driven. It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very complicated.
10. All of my knowledge of California weather comes from the Brady Bunch. It never rains in California. Why isn't California one big desert?
It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.
11. If you were a weather pattern, what would you be?
Stationary Front…. uh... I’m gonna wait
12. How would you mess with the TV weatherman if you were an intern producer? (Not a producer of interns, but a producer serving his internship at a television station.)
Porn.
13. Growing up in Ohio, I always heard people complain about how you never knew what the weather was going to be from one day to the next, or even from the morning to the afternoon. I assumed that this was true everywhere, and that wherever anyone lived they would complain about the same thing. Having moved to a different state, I now know that, no, Ohio does actually have some pretty bi-polar weather patterns. Can you account for this?
Ohio is in an area where 3 different predominant weather systems collide. We get dry cold air from the north (Thanks Canada). We get hot wet air from the Gulf States. We get even more stuff coming in from the Mountain States to the west. Since all 3 of those meet in Ohio, Ohio’s weather is very volatile. It can change rather rapidly and pretty significantly.
14. What is the best weather-related song?
A) "It's raining men" by the Weather Girls
B) "Walking on sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves
C) "Here comes the rain again" by the Eurythmics
D) " Sunshine on my shoulder" by John Denver
E) Some other choice of your own (please state your selection)
I choose you, B! Katrina and the Waves’ “Walking on Sunshine” is absolutely contagious.
15. Do you think the “hot, humid, 100 degree” weather is done for the year? Even my cat has taken to jumping in the fridge, it’s been so darn warm!
August is not over just yet, so kitty-cicles might still be part of the freezer on your fridge.
16. Living in Alabama, have you ever experienced any “extreme” weather?
Remnants of Hurricanes. Tornadic stuff. Southern super cells, but I would not say that I have experienced weather to the X-TREME!
17. Snow: why is some of it wet and heavy, while other times it light and dry?
All about the relative humidity when the snow is formed. That and it has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.
18. Ever stood outside in a violent storm just to say “Damn, that’s cool!”?
This past Saturday. (much to Wifey's chagrin)
19. Is a “dry heat” really any better than a humid heat?
Depends on what you are trying to cook. Steamed vegetables, I would suggest a rather humid heat. Dry heat is for pizza, baby!
20. What’s up with the weather people? Can’t they open up a window in the studio and see that their “current forecast” (oxymoron, BTW!) is just plain WRONG????
Most news studios don’t have windows. Some don’t have doors. They slide food through a slit in the wall and then get tasered back into their sleeping chambers.
To Recap:
Yes, I said "Awesome to the max!"
I am not sure if “taser” should be a verb
I amend that, it should most definitely be a verb
I also believe that donut should be a verb as well
And not necessarily in the driving in circles way
I mean the chucking a donut to a friend so that they can consume it greedily
Now that’s a verb!
Yo, G! Donut me!
You know what I’m saying
After 3 bad experiences giving blood I am about to do it again
I hope I don’t have to punch anyone this time
I hate punching blood letters
Blood letters are not like runes, they are people who draw blood
I know there is a more technical term for it
But "leech wrangler" sounds so Medieval
I need a nap