So this week, I am not single parenting… I am completely on my own at home…. for a full week… The solitude started on Saturday and will complete on this upcoming Saturday. It is quiet around here… maybe too quiet.. In fact, I am goddamn sure that it is too quiet. It is down right stifling how quiet it is. For all the ungodly noise the wee little bairns make in this house, it is no wonder that I feel a need for some noise. Noise that just is not coming. The fam is having a bit of a getaway at a cool place call Old Ok Dojo, in Boston, that my friend, Deborah is hosting. Remember Deborah? Yeah, she’s awesome. It is just a gathering… much like Juggalos without the scale, misogyny, Faygo, and bizarre lack of understanding of magnets… it is simple, it’s about the alignment of electrons through a conductive material and getting them in sync to manipulate other conductive materials… what’s so fucking magic about that ICP?… umm… So, today’s topic is “Going Solo.”
Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Nadolny, Chris Ring, Dr B Dawg, Maj McArmypants, Dr JHP… (that’s right, I know some doctors.. one is in physics the other is an MD.. deal with it, I am connected with smart people), Lsig, and Lex…. we are going to go above 20 this week… but it is not like I am doing anything else around here.
Here we go…
1. Red Solo Cup – best ode to a drinking vessel ever? Does the “new” Red Solo Cup song bring back any memories for you? Any you can share?
I hate you both. That song is horrible and it is sung by a horrible person.
2. What is your favorite solo activity (the ball is in your court, brother)? Ruling out blindness inducing self gratification, what is your favorite solo activity?
Your minds go right to the gutter… gutter minds. It is weird, but I have to say that my favorite solo activity is to listen to podcasts without having headphones on. No judgement from anyone about what I listen to.
3. When you played through the old Choose Your Own Adventure books, did you hold a thumb in the previous page, or totally commit to your choices?
I just remembered what page I was on… really, you had to make the page? It was page 82, and by going into the room my halfling got frozen by the white dragon… go back to 82 and keep going down the dark hallway. easy peasy lemon squeezy.
4. If you were the last man on earth, what would be the first thing you would do?
Hide, because clearly some serious shit is going down.
5. Why are so many people afraid of being alone?
Because next to being in a small coed group of teens, it is the most dangerous state to be in for every Horror movie ever made.
6. a) Did Han shoot first and does it matter if Han shot first? b) So this week’s topic is about being an intergalactic smuggler/reluctant freedom fighter? c) We get to shoot first right? Otherwise this week’s topic is “Going PC Solo”. d) If you showed up every day this week with a different Han Solo outfit - there are plenty of Han outfits (Classic Han, Hoth Han, Medal Ceremony Han, Ewok Han, and everyone’s favorite: Carbonite Han). What order would you wear them from Monday to Friday? e) I love Star Wars. Granted, but how is Han Solo not some veiled masturbation joke? f) Does going Solo allow one to look like a scruffy looking nerf herder? g) “Going Solo” means shooting first in a Cantina surrounded by scum and villainy, yes?
a) Han shot first and it matters. It is all about story arc. Han is the most pivotal character in the original trilogy. He goes from being self-centered to ultimately altruistic.
b) Yep
c) Yep
d) Monday: Carbonite. I have a hard time getting motivated on Mondays and my outward appearance should indicate that. Tuesday: Hoth Han, I am slowly thawing out to the work week. Wednesday: Ewok Han: It is hump day, yub-nub it up. Thursday: Classic Han, Thursday is meant for vests. Friday: Medal Ceremony Han, beginning of the weekend, baby.
e) Are you sure it is really “veiled?”
f) I am quite scruffy looking today and, in fact herding nerfs.
g)Yep
7. What fun stuff are they doing in Boston?
You, know… I honestly do not really know. From what I can tell the wife has fallen off a house, done some weird acrobatic yoga, the kids are climbing a tree and swinging on ropes.. I think they may be doing some kind of Parkour camp upon further reflection.
8. a) What things do you get done when the fam is all away that would never have gotten done otherwise? b) What things are completely off the to-do list (non kid schedule related) that you would normally do weekly? c) Any good things about your time alone? Stuff you get to do that you normally can’t/don’t? d) What do you look forward to then most when home alone? e) What do you dread the most when home alone?
a) I have watched a few movies that are a bit more violent than the typical fare I watch when they are around. Dredd is amazing while the new Conan is laughably bad in places and just painfully bad in others.
b) Well, doing the dishwasher thing is not completely off the table, but it is greatly reduced.
c) As I mentioned, listening to my podcasts without headphones is really a nice thing.
d) Getting some drawing done.
e) The lack of movement in the house… it is just too still.
9. How many days/hours/minutes going solo til you get lonely?
Turns out about 1.5 days will do it completely. There are moments of loneliness that creep on you immediately after dropping the fam off at the airport, but for it to really sink in and simmer, I would say 1.5 days.
10. Most miserable activity doing solo?
Texas Hold’em… no one cares about the flop when it is one man poker.
11. If Q were a Hope Solo fan, how would you handle that?
Well… I find that one difficult to believe just because Hope Solo’s career will be over before Q is old enough to appreciate her goalkeeping skilz. That being said, as long as she doesn’t emulate Hope’s off-field distractions and concentrates on the actual technical ability, I have can find nothing wrong with that.
12. I am currently going solo for two nights. It is weird and far too quiet. What do keep next to your bed for the strange bumps in the night. I rely on a bat and a dog that would likely ask any intruder for a treat and hug.
A Gurkha Kukri
13. Would you ever hike solo across the grand canyon or some other feat?
Possibly… I would never tight-rope across it, but making the descent and ascent solo could be possible… however it would be boring as snot.
14. Who in the family could sing a solo?
Prolly me.
15. So do you find that your own apathetic clutter becomes a bit of comforting nest about 3 days in, but if you were walking into a strangers house you might be thinking “hoarder”?
I might be thinking “Pathetic Hoarder.”
16. When left to your own devices, do you find that you schedule things and get all those things you wanted done done OR do you just sit there and wallow? What is the sweet spot for you?
As far as the getting things done v sitting and wallowing… a little of column A and a little of Column B. Dave the Barbarian from Diablo 3 is level 30 now, and the kitchen is clean.
17. I find that my favorite part of going solo is the lack of pressure. You?
Who is pressuring you? Tell them to back off and let you get your shit done.
18. Certainly there will be bacon?
Most certainly.
19. Will Skype/Facetime be used to allay the absence?
Hopefully, but, so far, it has been hard to pin down the family to actually spend the time with me on the phone. The kids are too distracted by the goings on and the wife is too overwhelmed to spend time with me on the phone… and I just have time to talk.
20. How do you feel about the etymology of the word alone?
"Solo" seems to have a latin root like many words… Therefore I have little to no feeling about its origins, but "alone" derives from the Old English words for whole and one. So "alone" technically means that wholly one.
21. Of all the musicians and bands you’ve loved (or appreciated) in the world, which musician has broken off from his/her band to go for a solo career and you’ve thought “yeah, right decision” and why?
Tina Turner, because when she was in Ike and Tina Turner Revue, Ike beat her ass.
22. How does technology and/or social media contribute or not contribute to our aloneness/feeling of aloneness in the world?
I think technology and social media can mitigate the feelings of loneliness, but not assuage them entirely. There does not seem to be a real “complete” substitute for actual human interaction.
23. How do you feel about watching marathon running on TV or documentaries? What, if anything, about it is interesting to you?
That is more a question for my wife. I don’t really find it that interesting.
24. During which solo activities are you most conscious of being alone and during which activities are you not aware of your solo-ness?
I think meals are when I realize just how alone I am. When I really get into an activity like a computer game or a drawing, I tend to lose track of time and the outside world.
25. Have you ever performed a solo in the musical sense, either vocal or instrumental?
Never musically, but in 4th grade I did stand-up for the school talent show. I had a tight ten minutes with some solid chunks on my cats and cafeteria food. I was sandwiched between a kid who could dance like no other (he won the show, but lost at life) and a kid a kid lip-syncing a Bruce Springsteen song….The dancer dude won, some girl who was one of the 4 girls who sang “The Rose” came in second, and a girl who did baton twirling came in third… I got an honorable mention.
26. Does one’s ability to play a guitar solo really qualify one to be a “hero”?
Nope, but maybe you become a hero to the actual Guitar?
27. If you’re going solo, I feel compelled to ask, “How lo(w) can you go?” Sorry about that.
I can go so so lo(w).
To recap:
The new Conan was horrible… absolutely horrible
I feel bad for the people in it
It was just so bad
So incredibly bad
Bad, in a not good way
I couldn’t find anything worth anything for lunch today
The “restaurants” around where I work are just not set up for Gluten Free
Reminder, I work in a neighborhood where I have seen people pay for prostitutes with the sweet and sour chicken lunch deal for $5.25
Classy
I should really make an effort to make my lunches
Prolly could have stopped that last statement after “effort”
I need to get to bed
Been drawing for this week’s Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge all night
Still need to ink and color it, but I am happy so far with the linework
Anyhooo… the fam gets back on Saturday
So, I have 3 to 3.5 days left on my own
So, have a great weekend, everyone