Yesterday was the pretty interesting astronomical event wherein the moon came between me and my sun… my pretty, pretty sun. It made me sad, super sad to see the light of our star dimmed by a dumb rock that revolves around us, tugging at our water greedily. I used my mind to push it back out of the way.

Ummm… I mean, yesterday in the US there was a solar eclipse, and now I have decided to cast my eyes away from the penumbra cast by this event and type this out while wearing polarized glasses.

Thanks this week go to Bruce, Scott, Brian, and some other guy. Now… onto the questions.

1. When drawing an eclipse do you typically make it longer on the north-south or east-west axis? Oh, wait… I thought you said ellipse.
My ellipses are typically longer from left to right than from up to down.

2. Any superheroes other than Moon Knight that get their powers altered by an eclipse?
I looked at a couple of superhero wikis and did not see anything super specific about altered capabilities due to lunar or solar eclipses… that being said, I did not look very hard…. But there are some villains...

3. What is the strangest superstition you know of about an eclipse?
Most of the legends and lore surrounding eclipses revolve around myths and legends about how the moon god/goddess interrupts the sun god/goddess. There is some weird shit about pregnancy and birth during a solar eclipse, but there does not seem to be many modern superstitions and myths about eclispes. The Internet has also done a great job making ancient people seem like idiots because of their “solar eclipse beliefs,” but I imagine that many of those ancient practices were more of a ritual and less of a belief. I mean the eclipse is just a cover to spray us with chemicals while everyone is looking at the sun… WAKE UP SHEEPLE! (where my conspiracy theorists at?)

4. Did you get to see (1st hand) much of this eclipse?
I watched the build up on a parking garage attached to one of the buildings that I work in. I did see the release of some birds from a helicopter. I am pretty sure those birds were a cover for a vaccine being released on the population.

5. How did you view this eclipse? ... internet, box-viewer, "official" viewing glasses, welder's goggles/helmet, etc?
I borrowed some glasses from a co-worker as well as borrowing a cereal box pinhole viewer from a different co-worker. On the parking structure that I watched from, there was a man who was an amateur astronomer and he set up a solar telescope… that was really cool.

6. What have you learned about Eclipse Comics since I asked the question?
The most interesting thing that came out of my quick read was the trading cards that Eclipse out out in the 80’s. Iran Contra, the Savings and Loans Crisis, AIDS epidemic, and Serial Killers. That is some weird shit to create collections around.

7. How do you handle the dad paranoia about your kids staring too long at the sun during this event? Did you read any scary articles to really prime the irrational fear?
Funny you should mention this. My 9 year old daughter was afraid to even be outside because she did not want to go blind. I think the scare tactics to keep people from staring at the sun should have been tempered just a little. Staring into an eclipsed sun is pretty much just as dangerous as staring into a typical daytime sun. The danger is just the same, but it is much easier to do when it is eclipsed. The hype that went into this made it seem that if you accidentally looked near the sun, your eyes would melt and you would be blind.

8. Isn't Eclipse a cool enough name that we should have someone better than Eclipso to reference?
One would think. I think it would be a better character if the character if the person was also a calypso dancer.

9. Why exactly, if you have a total eclipse of the heart, is there NOTHING you can do? It seems like you should be able to do something. Like, it's only 2 minutes.
Okay, a total eclipse of the heart lasts 5 minutes and 32 seconds. You are talking about the total eclipse of the sun with your 2 minutes stuff. That only lasts 2 minutes. Bonnie Tyler, she has staying power. Honestly, there really is only one thing you can do… so go ahead and do it! Turn around, Bright Eyes.

10. Did you know anyone who owned a Mitsubishi Eclipse?
Yep, Jacob Richardson… from my high school… he might actually have been a Pleiadean.

11. Badge engineering is where one design is sold to multiple providers/manufacturers who produce essentially the same product with different branding. What are all the equivalencies for the Mitsubishi Eclipse from the 1990’s?
The Plymouth Laser, the Eagle Talon, and the Mitsubishi Eclipse were all the. exact. Same. car.

Mitsubishi Eclipse.... look at that hood bubble for the turbo charger!

12. Favorite flavor of Eclipse gum?
Winter Frost like a normal person… Not spearmint like and idiot lizard person, or that Polar Ice crap that the grey aliens enjoy… one day we will have Disclosure

13. Can I use high-end, polarized sunglasses to look at the eclipse?
Ummm… no… did you damage your eyes yesterday? Wow… this question is a terrible question to ask the day after the eclipse.

14. Why is a total eclipse so rare?
Well, it reeeeeeeaally isn’t that rare. It is super rare to only clip through a single solitary country (until we get to the One World Order, amiright?)... here is the deal, a total eclipse is always happening somewhere. The sun is shining and the moon is casting a shadow from that sunshine, the rarity is only because we do not intersect with that shadow very frequently.

15. Solar eclipses were often considered an omen of terrible things to come. What is the terrible thing to come?
I am going to say a larger resurgence of outright, blatant, open racism… “isn’t that already happening?” you ask… well, yes, but it is going to get worse.. There will be shooting, Americans are too fond of guns for there not to be shooting. That and the planet Nirubu is going to slam into Earth on September 23rd.

16. How far would you travel to see a total solar eclipse?
Less than 100 miles. It was a neat process to see the partial eclipse that I did, but I do not think the travel headaches would be worth the 2 minutes of coronal viewing. Basically I would want to stay out of remote areas, skunk ape areas, where animals act very weirdly during the solar eclipses.

17. How often do complete solar eclipses happen in Australia?
Well… the mathematics of a solar eclipse are really nasty. Here is the dealio, a complete solar eclipse will happen somewhere in the world between every 1 to 2 years, but the area of effect is only 1 to 2% of the earth’s surface. Australia covers 1.5% of the earth’s surface, so getting those respective 1.5%’s to intersect is relatively difficult. It involves the intersection of non-euclidean geometry with typical planar geometry. Haha it’s not like you can get a solar eclipse to happen on a flat earth right?!? The truth is out there people. They won’t LET us to the edge. THEY always stop those expeditions.

18. Do you think you will be eclipsed by your children’s accomplishments?
Goodness, I hope so. That is the whole point of having children, that and for them to eventually cut the grass, and talk to the restless spirits of the unsettled departed.

19. What is one thing you have learned about eclipses since you started writing this 20 Questions post?
That there will eventually be an antumbra as the moon gets further away from the earth.

20. How large is the shadow of the moon when it is cast on the earth?
Well, that depends on where you are on the earth when the shadow is cast on the earth. The further north or south you are from the Equator, the larger the shadow cast. In general it is about 100 miles across, so multiply that by pi and Bob’s your uncle. I, of course, did not get to see the shadow the way I should have because of MKUltra causing cloudcover at the most important point of our eclipse viewing in Central Ohio.

To recap:
The eclipse was awesome, yet we did not attack the Fire Nation
If I am still in Central Ohio in 2024, I will be able to experience a total solar eclipse
I got on the stupid treadmill this morning
I hated it
I watched "Supergirl" on Netflix
Not sure that is going to work as a running distraction
Too CBS/CW relationship angsty
So much of the issues on the show could be solved with simple conversations
Maybe I will rewatch the Marvel Netflix shows
Or find some crappy action movies
But I should do that prior to getting on the treadmill in the morning
I am the second heaviest I have ever been
So, that needs to change
But the treadmill, ugh…
Adulting sucks
Have a great week everyone