We are in week 47 of the great US lockdown of Covid 19. Time has no meaning. So, since I did Self-Distancing last week, I could not figure out a good topic, and just decided I would answer some random ass questions.
So without further ado, here come some questions. Thanks this week go to Julie, Matt, Amy, Lsig, Grapes, Gavin, Bob, Will, Little Lady, Little Man, Susan, and some other guy.
1. How is social distancing going in your neck of the woods?
In the city proper, it seems to be going fairly well. We have seen some dumbs gathering for front yard parties where a group of 15 or so people who think epidemiology doesn’t apply to them. They will “hang out” with each other in their yard trying to stay 6 feet apart. This isn’t testing the letter of the law people to see what you can get away with, this is about microbe propagation. You aren’t getting one over on the system, jackass.
Word from the red rural areas, is not as positive.
2. How is online learning being structured for the kids and how do they feel about it?
The kids are fine with it, but no one is happy. It is going fine, but not great. It is a solution that has clearly and understandably been thrown together. With my daughter (11 yr old) I am trying to supplement with things from streaming sources. Tonight we watched the PBS Secrets of the Dead about the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
3. I’m curious about your reaction to meth heads who own tigers (aka The Tiger King on Netflix)?
This show is so popular because it is a cross between a Duck Dynasty/Swamp People kind of reality TV show with a true crime story. It is voyeurism and true crime all cobbled into one. It was a 7-episode train wreck.
4. What is your favorite gluten-free recipe you make on Easter?
I don’t have something that is specifically GF. Most of the Easter foods we eat are already GF.
5. How’s the book going?
Slow… I am afraid that setting up another Kickstarter now would be a disaster. People seem to be low of discretionary income for other people’s pet projects. That being said, I am getting more and more character designs done.
6. Does a CPAP machine make you more inclined to embrace the dark side?
The CPAP is an outward symptom of pre-existing dark side tendencies.
7. How much does the building, you are currently in, weigh? A rough estimate is acceptable. Addendum: what is the estimated mass of the building?
Well… I am not getting into the mass v weight thing. I am not a tenured physics professor… but you know who is? Dr B Dawg, that’s who. Congrats Brian. You are amazing. So… reinforced concrete is 150lb per cubic foot. The house is a shell of 18 inch thick floor, ceiling, and walls reinforced concrete. My house is a bomb shelter. A no shit, for real, honest to goodness bomb shelter. Anyway, according to the auditor’s site the perimeter to my house is right around 170 ft and area of 1430 sq ft., A full basement with a perimeter of 130 and an area of 1050 sq ft. So average wall height is 10 foot. The first floor alone is 6,840 cubic feet of reinforced concrete. The full basement is around 3,525 cubic feet of reinforced concrete. So the total for the downstairs and basement is 10,365 cubic feet for a whopping total of 1,554,750 lbs… not including furnishings or the roof or the second floor. I believe this roughly estimates to be a metric fuck-ton.
8. If you were allowed to toss any celebrity from the deck of The Duge Bridge, whom would you choose and why?
Would I have to? I mean that is really cruel. Logan Paul… because Logan Paul. Celebrity is a weak term these days.
9. How many days in a row of grayscale weather are you able to handle while quarantined before you lose your shit?
So far? About 17.
10. I’m thinking about just doing something I’ve always wanted to do... grow my hair long and a beard. Any advice?
If you can push past the itchiness for the beard, the sky is the limit as far as length of beard.
11. I’ve been pondering this for days now. At 10:00 AM train A left the station and an hour later train B left the same station on a parallel track. If train A traveled at a constant speed of 60 miles per hour and train B at 80 miles per hour, then at what time did train B pass train A?
Okay, firstly, trains in the US are not allowed to go faster than 35 mph in urban areas, and even the Acela, the only highspeed rail in the us is only allowed to go 70 mph in certain areas. Secondly, the physical train infrastructure is just not set up for those kinds of speeds. The railroad ties themselves would rip themselves out of the railbed before either train made it to the first curve. That being said, mathematically you have to just find out how long it will take a train going 20 mph to make it 60 miles. There is a 20 mph difference and the difference in the trains at T sub 1 is 60 miles. 3 hours.
12. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This is my answer from October 30, 2009: “1 cord, at best, but that is only if the woodchuck has thumbs. without thumbs the woodchuck would just look sullenly at the wood.”
This one is from April 26, 2005: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" requires a definition of the verb "to chuck."
Okay here goes.I was correct in 2009 and in my response from 2005. Let’s actually figure this one out. A cord of wood is 2000 to 3000 lbs and a woodchuck is about 8.5 lbs and 16 inches long or so. Let’s state that “to chuck wood” is to move a piece of wood a full body length in one fluid motion. So for an animal that weighs 8.6 lbs to move an item 16 inches through the air, I would imagine that the item in question would need to be no more than 1 lb in size (and that is being generous). I’m going to limit that weight to ½ lb for repetition’s sake (the equivalent of a 200lb person throwing something 10lbs). So let’s say on average we give the woodchuck in question a typical labor job where the worker has to do an 8 hour shift with a 30 minute lunch and two 15 minute breaks. So that is 7 hours of time just chucking wood. Let’s say that a woodchuck can chuck some wood every 5 seconds over the course of a shift. So, let’s see how many throws a woodchuck could do in one shift. 5,040 chucks a shift with a total of 2,520lbs of wood. Next time someone asks… 1 cord of wood.
And they said my math degree wouldn’t come in handy.
13. You know how everyone has an FBI Agent who listens into your phone calls and reads your emails? (Hey, Special Agent Gertrude Rosencrantz, how are you doing today?) Well… there are 7.53 billion people in the world right now, so, my question is, is there an extra 7.53 billion FBI special agents out there to listen in on conversations, or is it that 3.765 billion people are actually FBI agents?
Um… young kids don’t have phones or emails, and the super olds don’t know how to use the technology, so let’s whack down the population by 1/3. So let’s say there are 5 billion people who are potentially using phones and/or email. So… 2.5 billion special agents it is. Now put your tinfoil hat back on and go to bed.
14. Are you drawing more?
More? Yes. Enough more? No. I seriously need to be drawing more.
15. How much more exercise have you done/been seeing getting done since self-distancing started up?
I have walked about 25 miles a week since being home because the doggos need the walkies. Got to tire them doggos out. Tired dogs are good dogs. That being said, I have seen waaaay more people running lately.
16. Is there one thing you really want to have accomplished by the time you can re-insert into the public?
I want a clean house. A deeply and profoundly clean house.
17. Who from Tiger King do you most identify with and why?
Probably Amanda Green, the federal prosecutor. She seems to still be based in reality.
18. Best sandwich? Defend yourself.
Man… I love a French Dip. I haven’t had one in years because of the glutenous breadiness of the bread necessary for a French Dip. It is a sandwich and a show. Fight me!
19. Microbrew: limited beers per month or macrobrew: unlimited beers per month. Defend yourself.
Back in my college drinking days it was to start with more microbrew (probably more like mesobrew) and then shifting to macro as the drunkenness ensues. If you can find a macro that you like… drank it. No fights for this one.
20. If you had to pick one show to form the basis of a religion, which one would you pick? (not Star Trek)
Hmmm… I have no idea, so I’m just going to say Bojack Horseman.
To recap:
Been cooking a shit ton
Shrimp and grits happened again
It was amazing
Again
Risotto and roast chicken breasts?
Yes, please
I have read a few books
My fav so far is Trigor by Tom Merritt
It’s time travel shenanigans
I still have been digging Jelle’s Marble Run
Any book suggestions?
My feet are tired from all the walking
I would pay good money for a deep tissue foot massage
I. Would. Pay. Good. Money.
It is terrible having crap feet
Wash your damn hands
Stay away from people
Have a great week