20 Questions Tuesday: 240 - April Fool's Day and its Aftermath

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Yesterday was April Fool’s Day and many people made a fool out of themselves with the retweetings and facebookings of bogus stories.  I like it when the powers that be make it completely clear that the April Fool’s “joke” is something bogus. Google seems to do this very well, with maps.google.come/treasure and Google Nose.  Well played multi-billion dollar company, well played.  My workplace we without any “pranks” yesterday and that is how I like it.  Anyway… the aftermath of April Fool’s Day leaves many a crushed and broken body in its wake, so the topic for today’s 20 Questions is “April Fool’s Day and its Aftermath.”


Thanks this week go to:  K, Chris Ring, Ralph Harbison, Chris Corrigan and some other guy.  Let’s get to the questions… “Let’s?!?” Really?  It is just me here, what the hell is going on in my head?


1.  Has there ever been an April Fool’s prank as good as the Taco Bell Liberty Bell ? Little known fact*  The Piltdown Man hoax started out as an April Fool’s Day prank and rapidly got out of hand.  It ended in the demise of the careers of prominent anthropologists as well as the life of a East London Pauper…. Don’t ask.  Let’s just say it was a big messy thing…

2.  Seriously, shouldn’t everyone give up on this for a while?  I mean, it’s been a long time since 1996 and not one person or corporation has topped the TBLB. In 1996 it took more effort to pull off a great prank.  Now, all you need is a good idea and a web designer.  No prank could work as well as the Taco Bell Liberty Bell because that one ushered in the new sophistication of pranks, and now everything announced on the 1st of April is suspect… albeit sometimes true… Gmail comes to mind as an April 1st product launch that was not a hoax.

3.  What would have been the theological implications if April Fool’s day was yesterday? I imagine it would play out 1 of 2 ways… and only 1 of those 2… No other ways whatsoever..

Way the first: Jesus would make himself visible to everyone and say, “Just kiddin Ya’ll.  I never died or ascended into heaven.  I’ve been here all along.  I’ve just been out of circulation writin the Great American Novel.  Woooo!  God’s Awesome!”**

Way the second: People would come to the conclusion that all organized religion is a farce of “biblical” proportions and then society would crumble under the weight of the disillusioned and now remarkably apathetic newly atheists.

4.  Where did April Fool’s day come from? Yeah, I could Google it but I deciding to Scoottle it. It is nebulous at best as to where it comes from, but the best bet in the Italian, French and Belgian April Fish Day where people would pin paper fish onto unsuspecting people’s backs and say “April Fish.”  

5. I recently had a joke go very bad, ever have a joke go really bad? Oh, all the time… not so much bad as just fall flat.  I don’t really try and prank people as much as tell teh funny.

6. Is it still easy to fool people on April 1st or is everyone on guard? Nope, it is now an attempt to amuse people with ridiculous pranks

7. Best April Fool’s joke you played?I haven’t really played any April Fool’s Day pranks.  It really isn’t my bag.

8. Worst April Fool’s joke played on you? Last year, my lovely wife sent me a text saying she was pregnant. Yeah, that didn’t go over as well as she had hoped.

9.   Didn’t the Groundhog already trick enough people? Clearly not enough.

10.  IS this the favorite day of politicians since any lie can be covered with “April fools?” If and only if the politician says something radically different from their typical positions.  April Fool’s Day pranks should not be about the subtle, and anyone who tries to cover up a gaff should realize that the gaff needs to be monumental and waaaay off message for people to believe an April Fool’s Day excuse.

11.  How long is acceptable to seek revenge on a prank? 1 year.  You get 1 year.

12.  Why isn’t busting someone in the mouth after a prank acceptable? Depends on the prank.

13.  Why is there no opt out on this? I would LOVE an opt out on this.  Like wearing a black shirt says, “Don’t mess with me today.” or something like that… or maybe you could pin a paper fish on your back…

14.  What did you think of the Whitecaps announced retirement of YP Lee, the subsequent revelation that it was an April Fool’s joke and then the sacking of President Bob Lenarduzzi for “unprofessional conduct?”  Talk about your doozy of an April Fool’s aftermath! Since Lee has had a couple of his weaker performances, they would have done better using Cannon as a prank… He seems to be sillier than the good Y P.  As far as the Lenarduzzi news, I cannot find that anywhere.

15.  What is the acceptable way to “get back” at someone who has pinked you on April Fools, and what is the statute of limitations? You have to “get” them the following year, or you can choose to never speak to them again… ever.  Or you can pin  a paper fish on their back and shout “poisson d’Avril!”  That gets everybody.

16.  Shouldn’t there be a dinner associated with April Fool’s Day? Yes, there should be a meal associated with April Fool’s Day.  There should be a meal associated with every holiday.  What other reasons for holidays are there?

17.  What would an April Fool’s Dinner be? Well, everyone would need to lie during the chit-chat and small talk portions of the meal and the meal would consist of foods that looked like other food.  Vegans and vegetarians eating meat and vice versa…. so many people dead from food allergies and anaphylactic reactions… so many dead

18.  Does any good come from April Fool’s day? Yes, many items that ThinkGeek comes up with for April Fool’s Day sometimes make it into market.  For example, the Taun Taun sleeping bag…  Other than ThinkGeek merch…nope.

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19.  Any clean-up from April Fool’s day for you personally? Well, my little girl played an April Fool’s Day Trick on me.  She said that she could get the ice in her cup, but it turns out her cup was the floor… April Fools!  Now clean up the ice, Papa. ha ha ha ha she knows how to play a prank.

20.  Does it seem to you that April Fool’s Day is now less about individuals playing small pranks on people they know and more about companies and celebrities making PR pranks and humorous attempts? Yup, you got it.




To Recap:

White Chocolate M&M’s… oh God…  the deliciousness

So so delicious

Why hasn’t anyone ever thought about white chocolate with a candy shell before this?

Seriously… Thanks Easter Bunny!

Bach! Bach!

My wife said she had them on a car trip 2 months ago

She said they were amazing

And then we couldn’t find them until Easter week

We all thought she had had a fever dream of deliciousness

She is less crazy and more of an oracle

An oracle of confectionary brilliance

Everything is good here

How about with you?

Check your back for a paper fish

Have a great weekend



*I am making almost all of this up

**Jesus has a US Southern Accent… prove me wrong

20 Questions Tuesday: 239 - Scott St Pierre

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It is another Ten Ton Studios day up here in the 20 Questions Tuesday-ville.  This week I get the pleasure of chatting with Scott St Pierre a Ten Tonner with a writing bent.  His writing is quirky and loose.  He is not afraid to break the fourth wall and bring the reader into story itself, but recently he has shifted his focus from writing to laser focusing in on photography.  Now if he would only write about his photos and bring us into his pics.

Anyway, Scott is an awesome guy and I have had a few delightful conversations with him.  He is definitely one of the denizens of the Internet that I would love to share a meal in real space.

Scott has recently moved from the east coast to L.A. (I assume to get his tan on), so question 1 will be interesting.  I have my M.A. in geography and love the story of place.  For example, I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  The fam moved to Montgomery, AL and then to Birmingham.  I went to school in Kent, OH, and then moved down to Columbus, OH with my wife where I have been ever since. Question 1:What is your geographic story?

I just googled “”What is your geographic story?” and find it unsettling that in all of googledom you are the only person to ask that question that way before.

I find it more entertaining to view my geographic story as a Family Circus comic strip. Panel 1: As a little kid I say when I’m older I’ll  move to California someday. Panel 2: the dotted line path where Scotty starts in Peabody, MA bounces to Long Island, NY for a couple stops, bounces back to Peabody, MA bounces to Malden, MA then to Bloomfield, NJ, then Morristown NJ, then back to Peabody, MA and currently here in Redondo Beach, CA. It’s weird feeling more at home in a town you’ve never been before than it was living in the town you grew up in. I know It’s only been two weeks but I seriously love it here.

Huh, I have never thought of googling “What is your geographic story?”  That is odd. It seems that you need to have the “What is the” on the statement otherwise you get results concerning “National Geographic Story.”  Anyhoo… Question 2:Why does SoCal feel so much like home, and why did it feel so naturally like home so quickly?

I think it’s because I know the snow will never get me here. It’s like a haven. It’s also been very welcoming. People will smile at you and say “Hi” while walking down the sidewalk. And there are just so many other transplants from other parts of the country here as well. When someone finds out you’ve just moved here there is a glint in their eyes like “Welcome, dude. We’ve been waiting for you.”

Well, I can honestly say that this is absolutely an awesome thing to hear.  Usually I hear how stuffy and stand-offish the SoCal area is, especially the LA area. It really is nice to hear that it is more inclusive in some situations. Question 3:  What exactly brought you finally to the west coast?

My wise-ass answer is “ What exactly brought me here was an airplane.” The answer you were fishing for has more to do with wanting to shut my wife up than anything. Feb 2012 we came out here for vacation, but didn’t want to do any touristy things on purpose. We wanted to get a sort of vibe of normalcy in the area. I was hoping to hate it so we wouldn’t have to move. Usually any trips I take, by day 3 I’m too tired and want to go home, but that just didn’t happen this time. Career wise, for my wife, she’s a stylist. She’s done work for magazines and theater, and music videos so getting into that out here is really the next big step up for her and really I’m just here supporting that. My boss lets me work from home so he’s cool enough to let me live anywhere we want.

I am sending positive energy your way for your wife’s stylist work out in La LA Land.  Question 4: So what creative endeavors are you going to do now that you are in one of the hearts of the entertainment industry?

This is the part I’m jazzed about. Thousands of people come out to Los Angeles to make it happen. Plenty do. Plenty. They might not be famous, or even rich, or even well off but they make it happen. Every day. We decided that we’re going to be one of those people that make it happen. Wake up. Work. Laugh and smile all day and when you get home from work, work some more. Worrying yourself to death does you no good. There are some people that look at a happy successful person and say to themselves “Being successful must be great, look how happy that guy is,” whereas my new outlook is “Being happy is rad…that in itself is successful enough.” It really all harkens back to Douglas Adam’s argument about why Mankind and the Dolphins both thinking they’re the dominant species on Earth for the exact same reason. Have a good time. I don’t think anyone on their deathbed says, “I’m so glad I did all this worrying. It seems really worth it now.” As positive as all that shit sounds, every day my adopted belief system is challenged by my 4 year old son.

On the creative side, I have a photo project involving twinkies that really won’t seem relevant for another 10 years or so, and a lot of that potential success teeters on what actually happens with Hostess’ name and assets and that bajunk. But before that all happens I’m actually going to try my hand had developing my own film. I haven’t done it since High-School but I love still shooting on film whatever can make that more affordable I’m into.

Also, I’m still writing and revising my odd little fiction pieces which is very freeing. Of all the hobbies I’ve ever had it’s the only one I feel terrible about not doing every day. Writers write. If I think I’m a writer and I’m not writing…what am I? I tell myself “I’d be nothing” so that little ditty gets me to plink down some words into some sort of storyish blarb that hopefully will get read and enjoyed by somebody. But I get crazy ideas like joining an amature comedy group getting known as a good comedy writer and then working on a sitcom or something. Who knows. I’d like to have some creative input on some video game storyline or something that would be cool.

Also, Also, creatively I’m thinking of starting a food blog called “Fries of Los Angeles” where I review the french fries and or sweet potato fries of the gajillion restaurants out here. I have this whole thing mapped out in my head where I would wear a fancy white glove during the tasting portion and the last thing I do is delicately pull the glove off, finger by finger, and actually rub the fry with my thumb and forefinger to test it for greasiness. I’d review the long pieces, the short crunch pieces. Rate it on squishyness, dryness, seasoning.

I’ve seriously put way too much thought into it. I’ll probably end up making it just a quirky hobby of a character in a story of mine, but seriously. I don’t eat meat, only just started eating some chicken again so a lot of these places we go out to eat at I usually order Fish and Chips which means I’ve had a lot of fries. Most suck. Crab House on the pier of King Harbor in lower Redondo’s fries were spectacular. I’d give them a 8.9. A perfect 10 would probably have to be from a place Lady Galadriel would eat at.

I am pretty sure Lady Galadriel would not eat French Fries, but instead eat Pomme Frites or some other translation that is terrible and beautiful.  Don’t get me wrong, about the creative thing.  I ask that because I know you are a talented so-and-so.  I love your polaroid work and think you have a real eye for the photos.  I have also rather enjoyed your written work as well.  I would have changed the lead up, but asked the exact same question had you stayed in Peabody.

I know this is stolen from a bit done by Paul F Tompkins, but still, everyone wants to know… Question 5: Cake or Pie?  Which specific kind and why?

I’m lactose intolerant to the point where even some butter sets me running for the outhouse, so if I’m going to try pie, I’ll have to eat around the crust, which stinks because I remember how tasty the bottom of a Brooksby Farm Apple pie can be. Actually, pecan pie was my favorite back in my pie days. As for cake, my Mother-in-law makes this insane chocolate cake from a World War II recipe that has no eggs or milk in it. They were rationing that stuff for the war effort. (with that reasoning I assume there’s no steel, rubber or gasoline in it either?) It’s completely vegan and brain-crazy tasty. So moist you don’t even need frosting. Though recently I took to putting a dab of Peanut Butter on my fork before going into the cake. I capitalize Peanut Butter out of respect. It’s just the best. So the answer is WWII cake for dietary reasons. Are there any good pies that you can put peanut butter on?

It is interesting, you are the first person I have asked this question who has said cake and not say so because of frosting.  Most cake-eaters eat said cake as a frosting delivery system.  As to your level of lactose intolerance?  Wow, that sucks.  That is an extreme level of intolerance… that is a skinhead level of intolerance.  That intolerance makes other people’s lactose intolerance say, “Damn, that is just too intolerant.”  That really is the suckage.  As to your question about peanut butter on a pie?  There is a whole class of peanut butter pies, not to mention using a smooth and creamy peanut butter on a tart apple pie.  

When our oldest was wee, he had some massive food allergies, so we learned how to make most foods without dairy, egg, and soy.  It was rough.  Question 6:What is the hardest part of being so significantly lactose intolerant? ummm.. I am asking for a friend…

A very hard part is going to house parties or family events and not being able to eat 95% of the stuff there. I love the shit out of homemade cookies and can’t eat them. The Trader Joe’s here have vegan chocolate chip cookies which are killer though. That’s something they didn’t offer in our local MA one. They remind me of the Keebler Softbatch from back in the day. Not sure they still make those. I pretty much just turn my eyes away from grocery store snack stuff with the exception of good ole fashioned Oreos, which are more vegan than most red blooded Americans care to admit.

Another hard part, emotionally, is I’m still the pizza maker for my family. My son prefers the pizza I make from the Trader Joe’s dough over every commercially available option we’ve tried, which is great because it saves us so much money, but spending all that time (Okay..so it’s not ALL that much time) making and baking a pizza and not being able to enjoy it stinks. Soy cheese sucks also. I tried rice cheese and though it claimed it was dairy free it had some kind of cheese protein or culture or some weird thing in it and my arms actually broke out in hives.

Also, the beginning of this year I finally made the switch to black coffee. So its been a lot easier when we’re out and about and some ma & pa coffee house doesn’t have soy or something. Soy creamer isn’t good either. The best alternate creamer I’ve tried and loved is So Delicious’s french vanilla coconut creamer, but I drink a lot of coffee so it was getting expensive. So I’m happy to save the money on that front too.

This is off topic, but I just woke up from a dream where I someone got to eat lunch with Adam Sandler and we talked straight up artistic vision type talk. It was a great mature talk and then I went up to go to the bathroom and all these bombs started going off all over downtown L.A. When I came back he was gone, but left a note saying he waited as long as he could, I wasn’t angry, I was gone a seriously long time. He recommended picking up Pearl Jam’s upcoming record, and he’d been catching their tour rehearsals. I wonder if he, in turn, recommended to any of those guys that they read my work or check out my photos.

I think it is interesting that your subconscious chose Adam Sandler as your spirit animal.  That is just plain odd.  You are an odd duck, Mr. StPierre… and odd duck.

The fam still makes you prep pizza as a severely lactose intolerant individual? Cold, man… cold.

Question 7: Fill in the blanks:  I find that i am mostly _______. Others find that I am mostly _____ __.

I find that I am mostly indecisive. I hope that doesn’t translate to non-committal, but seriously, I wish I wasn’t into some things. Photography, writing music, writing fiction, I let my drawing fall a bit by the wayside these past few years but I still doodle and feel the pull to take art more seriously. One week I want to start a band and save rock and roll. Another I’m realizing I’m in my mid-thirties and The Machine doesn’t allow dudes in their mid-thirties to be new rock stars. The writing is something I have to do. The longer I go without writing the more and more I find I absolutely hate myself. So I try to write every day. Photography for me is different. I mean it’s my day job, but it’s so digital and over processed that after a while of doing it for work I needed an escape but I still wanted to shoot, which is why I got back into analog photography. You think it over more. Especially with the polaroid stuff. It’s about $3 a shot on the integral, so  you have to make it count. Anyway, If I was a pro musician, I’d still be writing. if I was a pro writer, I’d still be making music. In high school I used to hope I’d lose a hand so I’d have less options. I’m sure if I could settle on just one thing I’d be Amazing at it rather than just good. And then, occasionally I think with my writing, my music, my photography…that I was giving these talents not to compete with each other for my time, but maybe I’m supposed to be making movies. Where those skills aren’t competing so much, but working together on some sort of production schedule for an end product greater than the individual parts. I’m watching 2001: A Space Odyssey right now and those three basic elements of image/sound/writing is tear jerkingly beautiful. Then I see something sparkly and want to chase parked cars.

Others find that I am mostly weird. I’ve been told that my whole life. Scott’s weird. My wife says she agrees with the indecisiveness. But she’s weird too, only she’s too strikingly beautiful for most people to notice.

Wow, it is clear that you are a writer because you very clearly painted the picture of how your indecisiveness manifests.  You are a Renaissance Man trapped outside of a Renaissance… except this is the Renaissance, or at least one of them.  You and I have had a few digital conversations over the years, so I feel that I am capable of lending my fill-in for your blank… that sounds vaguely dirty… I find you mostly hard to pin down.  I have noticed that you flit around like a little butterfly from task to task.  One moment you are writing the great American novel (something I think you should put more energy into, for you are very talented in the writing space), the next you are a Polaroid photog showing pieces in shows (something else I think you should follow, because you really have a great eye for it), and this was preceded by musical aptitude and other things.  See, we are all seeing the same you, so at least that is something.  It is nice when your image of yourself is congruous with others.  If you want my opinion, and you prolly don’t, other than your fam, the first thought that you wake up with is most likely what you need to chase for the time being.  But this is coming from a guy with a dead end job who wakes up thinking about drawing but goes to a cubicle to look at where holes have been dug in the past.  Just warning you about the advice given. You should write more… I like reading what you write.

Question 8: So, since you have a pretty good idea of who you are, how can you push yourself to be where you want to be? I am in school trying to knowledge up and get out of my current job…

I had to reread that last question a couple times because something about it just didn’t jibe well with me, but then I realized it said “pretty good idea…” of who I am. Which I think is about right. And you’re right. Who I am is pretty much what I see in the mirror. Though right now I do think I’m a cancer patient due to the giant tumor like zit hanging off my neck. I can take a picture for the website if you like.

The best way to get my ass to that next level, which I’ve been talking with my wife about lately, is I think to really just do the work. Writers write. They sit down and do it on good days. They sit down and do it on bad days. I used to worry and say “What if it isn’t good?” but I don’t any more. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or not, because there are people out there who aren’t as good as you getting paid a professional rate to do what you love, and the reason that’s going on is because they’re the ones sitting down doing it. They’re making it happen.

It’s like the “talent” isn’t in the subject matter they’re writing about, or how many great influences you can pull from someone’s writing style. The “talent” is being able to cement your ass everyday somewhere and get the shit from your head onto some sort of thing that someone else can read and preferably enjoy, whether the end product is a photo-copied stapled short storybooklet (sold about 30 copies of my whale story that way) or 20+ seasons of an evening sitcom. My favorite Neil Gaiman quote is about writing, "This is how you do it: you sit down at your keyboard and you put one word after another until it’s done. It’s that easy, and that hard." The “…and that hard,” part is the clincher for me.

The danger of hitting next level is,(okay, maybe this is like 5-10 levels above MY next level,) and I’ve thought a lot about this too and I hope I’m wrong with this theory, is that in order to be really successful a big part of you has to be saying, “Fuck everyone else,” about 90% of the time. I think there is a reason there are so many divorced rock-stars, movie stars and whatever. It’s as if the great way of thinking that has helped them to hyper-focus on their talent to get them to the level of success they’re enjoying is absolutely no help when it comes to having the ability to able to give yourself up for someone else’s happiness. When my wife and I were dating I came up with a saying, “I’ll always give you the new donut.” That means no matter how bad things get whatever money we have to scrape up to feed ourselves, I’d buy her the new donut and I’ll go fish something out of the garbage behind the donut shop. I think the level of thinking required to get me to that next level might be to think that the new donut is finishing what work I’ve started. Shipping it. Getting it done and in front of people and that maybe many more people than just my wife need that new donut. So it’s time to bust ass cuz there’s a lot of people hungry out there for the manna of St. Pierre.

What is it that people say?  “Writers be writin.”  So I know you from a comic book art website that has churned out many newly established heavy hitters in the comic book art community and many up and comers who are hitting comics hard.  So, you clearly love yourself some comic books.  Question 9:Who is your guy?  What superhero do you consider your superhero?  Growing up for me it was Captain America and then Cyclops from the X-Men.  Who you got?

Ten Ton Studios is the second closest I’ve ever been to having real brothers. It’s a hit machine that has proven over and over if you work your ass off and don’t turn into a whiney bitch when someone critiques your work, you will get a job. My guy has always been Wolverine. I was always the short kid in class growing up. I’m 5’ 3” and remember those Impel Marvel trading cards from the late 80’s I think it was? I used to collect my paper route money on Saturdays and walk down to the Peabody Square Smoke Shop. (I know it sounds shady, and it probably was/is, but it was one of two places that sold comic books that weren’t all beat to crap on a spinner rack) and buy those trading cards. On the back they had the stats of the character and I loved that Wolverine was this short guy, but it totally didn’t define him. I wasn’t really made fun of, but when you’re one of the shortest you quickly realize the advantages of being a taller person. Now in my mid thirties I shave my head because of male pattern baldness. I’m not going to take pills for it because what use is having hair if my wang doesn’t work? But that’s also why I try to stay in shape, because being short bald and fat is a dealbreaker in 93% of any situation. It’s true. I did a survey. But yeah, Wolverine was short and he didn’t take shit from anybody. Batman was second. I just liked climbing and jumping off of things. Still do, but my knees…ya know. I like your choices. Those two guys are both leaderly Boy Scout types. I wonder what that says about us as people?

You cut me to the quick… gah.  I hadn’t realized how milquetoast those 2 are until you mentioned it just now.  I am not sure who would be my guy now if I were a kid.  I loved the Wolverine of the Chris Clermont days… the days before he was in every Marvel book ever.  He seems like a caricature of himself right now.  He used to be the best there was at what he did, and what he did was not pretty.  Anyhoo… I can see the identification with Wolverine.  He had a nebulous past (that should have stayed nebulous) and was a classic anti-hero.  He did the stuff others weren’t capable… nay willing to do!  It was nice when he wasn’t overexposed.

Question 10:What character is your dream writing job, and what is the crazy plot-line that you would inject into his story? I would reboot Heros for Hire with Iron Fist and Powerman (none of this Luck Cage stuff) and have them sub-contract out to others as needed. Hilarity or deep stories ensue.

I never read any of that old team up stuff, but have been wanting to. Long ago I had this epic cross-over idea called Gene-shift. Basically, one day all the mutants in the marvel universe woke up with someone else’s powers. I thought it would be cool to see how it would change the character of those characters. Like, what if Wolverine’s got switched with Speedball’s or something. As far as dream writing gig for comics, I like taking a stab at Excalibur. I’ve always liked a lot of humor in my comics. I’ve been a huge Tick fan since 6th grade, which was before I was even into X-men comics. Not sure what I would bring to the table as far as fresh ideas but with the Tick it’s such a great concept. A jar of mustard could become sentient for no explainable reason and mate with giant redwood and I don’t know if redwood’s drop acorns or what, but there’s a rain of mustard seed redwood hybrids attacking Northern California. There’s your villain. That stuff writes itself.

Boy howdy, that does write itself. It seems that the humor books consistently run below the radar in the mainstream.  Question 11: What needs to happen to get humorous books a la the Tick to really have staying power in the in the cultural zeitgeist? The Tick cartoon only lasted 2 seasons… and it was brilliant… Why is that, do you think?

I wish I knew. I think with comics, as fans, some people are coping with mainstream society already being against them, just because they’re reading comics in the first place that they at least want to be taken seriously doing it. Hopefully that’s shifting, I don’t know. I always loved the funnier stuff. Bloom County was a big one for me when I was way younger. I remember getting pissed off at this kid in 7th grade over it. I asked him if he read it and he said “No, I don’t read political cartoons.” and I was offended by that, being of a lower middle class (or were it upper lower class? Might be lower lower for all I know. I was a kid at the time and very busy having fun being one.) I took offense that anyone would think I was into something so intellectual as political cartoons. But from first finding the X-Men when I was younger I found John Byrne’s She-Hulk who was this amazing babe and I thought her book was hilarious. More recently Nextwave from Marvel was one of the best books they put out in my adult life and that got cancelled relatively quickly too. Which I don’t get because practically everyone I knew loved it.

I wish I knew as well. Sadly, the Tick live action show was really fun as well, but it did not even make it a season.  I find it interesting that within the comic book community there are humorous titles that are lauded and loved by everyone, but they have no traction in the mainstream entertainment.

So, I am currently in the process of removing gluten from my diet to see if that helps me feel better, so I am seriously craving some glutenous food… especially donuts…  Question 12: You have a dozen donuts to buy, what is your mix of donuts?  I will reveal my favorite dozen after your answer.

I wish, for just this once I could give you a straight answer, but I actually have a story about my late grand-mother here. So, I don’t remember the occasion, but my grand-mother took my friend Christian and I out for dinner one night at this fancy hotel. We were teenagers, maybe 16 or 17. We got to talking about our first real jobs which were both at Dunkin Donuts. My grand-mother told me with the straightest not-a-hint-of-bullshit face that she too used to work at a donut shop and that when she was 14 she used to go to work after school and in the donut kitchen one day she…brace yourself, she invented the Boston Creme donut. Now in my relationship with my grand-parents my grand-father was the family bullshit artist, and as far as I’m concerned my the only lie my grand-mother ever told was when she was 15 she told an enlisted man she was 18…yadda yadda yadda. I absolutely refuse to research it for fear that she was untruthful, but yeah.

Okay, so I have a dozen to work with? Let’s pretend milk/whey isn’t a factor here. I’d take 2 Boston Creme. 2 Maple frosted. 3 Blueberry Cake, 1 Strawberry Frosted, and 4 Honey Glazed, but not Dunkin Donuts honey glazed, Krispy Kreme’s. I’ve not tried any of these other flavors from Krispy Kreme, but we just went last week and the girl checked with her boss and said the plain glazed don’t have milk and while I was still skeptical I had 0 issues and must have eaten at least 5 from the dozen we bought.

I am clearly torturing myself here, but my dozen goes as follows: 4 Krispy Kreme glazed, they must be “Hot Fresh Now” and immediately consumed. 2 Krispy Kreme cream-filled donuts.  2 Tim Horton’s crullers. 2 Maple Frosted and 2 vanilla frosted from Dunkin Donuts .  There is my dozen…. of which I cannot partake right now.  I am so flipping hungry.  It is a great thing that you can have Krispy Kreme glazed donuts.  If you have not gotten them from the store when the”Hot, Fresh, Now” light is on, you need to.  It will change your world.

Unlucky Question 13: do you have any superstitions or rituals? Superstitions such as don’t put your hat on the bed, salt over the shoulder, etc… Rituals are more nebulous.  For example, (and this is the example I always use) I used to get ready for soccer games with a very specific sequence of putting on the uniform… Not because I felt it lucky as much as it was a way to get me in the “right” state of mind for a game.  

Is hats on the bed a real superstition? Jesus…no wonder my life’s in shambles. You want to hear a real superstition? A Bonafide guarantee? I don’t pay attention to sports much these days, but I am almost willing to put lots of money on this, the Red Sox will win the World Series this year. Why? Because every time I move away from home that’s what they do. 2004, moved to NY. Win. 2006 moved to NJ, we moved after the halfway point so it doesn’t count (Cuz I say it doesn’t) but in 2007, first full season away, Win. So a definite win this year. Anyone reading this who puts money down and wins, can you send me like, an apple store gift card or something? Thanks.

As for personal rituals for writing or other stuff…I don’t think I have any any more. When I was 18 I used to wear this certain terrible paper hat when I was drawing. Like a line cook hat or something. Also, had to start my inking sessions off with Side 2 of Abbey Road on Vinyl. And it wasn’t vinyl because I was trying to be cool and retro. It was Vinyl because I knew to stay the fuck away from my Dad’s then complicated 300 carousel CD player, there was no way to copy CD’s then and why buy my own copy on CD or cassette when I already had it on 12”? Still have that record.

When I was playing in a band I had this little wooden sea fisherman named Captain Bob who had to be on the left side of my guitar amp facing backwards. That way it looked like he was pissing. At first I started that because I like to see a pissing fisherman while I played music, but you know, you start getting better and the musical output gets better feeling you get so you depend on that pissing captain.

Maybe I need some good ones, but right now my ritual is, if I want to get anything useful/important done…wait till my 4 year old is not around. Anything accomplished while he is around is considered an act of God.

Amen, Brother.  Getting shit done with kids in the house is nigh impossible.  The “Hat on the bed” thing” has to do with country clergy coming to houses to give last rites.  The padre enters the home and hat in hand proceeds to the bedroom where the dying lays on the bed.  He places the hat at the foot of the bed and moves to the head of the bed to administer last rites.  Ergo the bad tidings with a hat on the bed.  

Sounds like Captain Bob needs to watch you write.

Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of.  I chose Vampire Bear (theursine variety, not a hairy gay dude). Question 14: What would you be most afraid of? especially in a dark alley…

Maybe being on the Andy Dufresne end of a murder trial or something. Maybe being on the wrong end of a gun pointed at me from a person who has absolutely nothing to lose. I’d hate to get to the pearly gates after a life of thinking I’ve been a pretty decent person and then not let in. That would blow. I once said I hope every member of the Foo-Fighters dies before me so that they can play my intro music when I get to Heaven. That’s how much I’m looking forward to that, and to lose it…fuck. That’d be terrible.

I’m also recently terrified of white rice. It does things to my throat where it like paralyzes my swallowing muscles and foot gets backed up in my throat…but past the point where my breathing hole thing is, so it’s like I’m choking but can still breath perfectly fine. My last episode was just the other night and by far the worst worst worst. Scared me off the stuff for good.

That rice thing is scary indeed.  It is rare that you would have a reaction to rice.  To tell the truth, I do not think I would like to meet anything/anyone in a dark alley, vampire bear or not.  Number 1: I have already done something wrong if I am in a dark alley to begin with.  Number 2: If something/someone is in that dark alley, they are up to no good.  

Question 15:  Are you going to be able to attend any conventions this year?  If so, which ones?

No idea yet. WonderCon is in a few weeks in Anaheim, but I’m going to miss it. The last few times I’ve been to a convention I don’t think I bought anything. For me they started becoming all about “No that’s too expensive,” and then “where am I going to put this stuff?” and then eventually “why am I here?” It was always great seeing friends and meeting people in person that I’ve only ever talked to on some forum, but then the ones with real industry jobs got too busy doing their thing. And they’re amazing at their thing. And then it’s like dropping by a buddies office when they’re brilliantly busy. Starts feeling weird. I also hate long lines, so the uber stars aren’t a big draw for me.

Also, some of the smells at comic cons are terrible. Some cologne company would be smart to be a sponsor. Maybe Listerine as well.

I think that soap and shampoo would be better to sponsor than cologne, for there are many people there who are large and unwashed.  There is a geek/nerd convention funk that is pretty strong for some of these.  I go to a few local small cons and then to a gaming con, and there are some folk who have some hygienic issues to be sure.  I completely agree about the long lines to see the big guns.  I dislike lines, and I dislike people.  Combine standing in line with people to see people and you have a non-starter for me.

Question 16: Do you have any absolute non-starters in your life? X + Y = no Scott St Pierre?

Cocaine + Orgy, cats + milk, cigarettes + star wars droids.   I’m trying to think. I know like heroin and coke and meth and stuff is hopefully a given. Super duper hot sauces aren’t any fun for me and definitely fall into the “Awe, hell no” category. But seriously, a paycheck is a paycheck. You never know what you might have to do in life.

I think for me, other than people and lines, it would be peppers and now gluten.  I ate some potato chips that did not reference any wheat products last night and I have felt horrid all day.  I look at the website and the brand and type IS NOT considered gluten free just because of potential cross contamination.  That being said, I went to a gluten-free bakery today and ate a delightful cupcake.  I wish it were a donut… or even a doughnut (the donut’s uppity cousin).

Question 17: Is there something that you expected me to ask that I have not?

When Kim Kardashian announced she was pregnant I immediately went public saying I wasn’t the father. For those who missed my announcement, I want to reiterate that. Also, if Taylor Swift or Gaga or Jennifer Lawrence or Olivia Wilde or Kate Upton, really if any of those girls get pregnant I didn’t do that either. Really I’m just trying to feed this interview some good keywords to up it in a web search. Let me get obscure here and find some good random Japanese bikini model…Aki Hoshino. Wow. Japan rules. lol. For the record I didn’t take it off of moderate setting in my google image search, so buyer beware of some images from her. Who knows what she’s been up to. Hopefully good things. Seriously though, I know our friend Jason Baroody would be let down if I didn’t mention some kind of busty asian girl in this interview. I don’t know why he’d be let down, I just get the feeling he would be.

Good way to bump up the SEO on this site.  I hadn’t thought of sprinkling in random buzz word celeb names.  You, sir, are a genius and a bit of a cad.

Turnabout is fair play so… Question 18: Do you have any questions for me?

I’m watching “Up” with my son right now and it’s the beginning of the movie just after Mr Fredrickson’s wife, Ellie, passes away. I was surprised to find that it can still move me to  tears. Just a few, but tears, nonetheless. What was the last movie that pushed you far enough to get some dancing down your face? And did you find yourself surprisingly more susceptible to that sort of thing after you became a father?

Hmmm… I am having trouble coming up with a recent movie that has brought me to tears.  However, I was reduced to manly father tears when watching the opening scene of Up.  I have found myself tearing up at the annoying moving poignant videos that people either post on the Facebooks and news sites.  I can definitely say that the emotions have changed once we had the babies.  Even in fictional stories, I recognize that all the characters in stories, both good and bad have family and most likely someone who loves them.  Sadly, I have lost a bit of my stone heart.  I miss the stone.

Question 19: What are you taking with you from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

I’m looking back at all my answers and realize I have short stories that have less words in them.

You were wonderfully thorough and fanciful in your answers, and I have to say that I am quite happy to have been able to spend this much time with you chatting.  this has been great.

Question 20: What’s next?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.  Focus as short term or as long term as you want.

Some readers may not know that these questions were answered (and asked!) over the course of a couple weeks now. My opinions can shift a bit in that amount of time. Reading back I can tell when I was being silly but truthful, and or serious but over-dramatic. Some of this might belong in question 19, but I think the real take-away is I want to work hard. It doesn’t mean I have been, or even will be, but the want part is there—No. I take that back. I will work hard. I came across a cool quote over this past weekend. I don’t think I’m saying it exactly as I saw it, but it does the job. “Talent without hard work is useless.” That pretty much sums up my entire life. I‘ve had more than a few friends whom I’ve wanted to scrawl that saying onto a baseball bat and beat them over the skull with it, but it’s really time to turn the bat on myself here.

We drove up to Cupertino this past weekend for a babyshower and to see some old friends of ours. My buddy works at Apple and took me over to the sprawling campus. I stood in the spot where Steve Jobs would park his car every morning. I’m a huge Apple fanboy, but I really didn’t think I’d geek out about it all that much, but I just felt a heaviness being in that area. I snapped some great shots of the front of 1 Infinite Loop, But just seeing all those buildings, a symbol of how something started by two dudes in a garage can escalate. It’s been several hours since I started this paragraph (work and life stuff) and I’ve lost the main jist of what the hell I was getting at. Feh.

Okay, back to the topic…What’s next for me? Immediately…eating Corned Beef and Cabbage (A day after St. Patrick’s day. We were travelling all day yesterday.) Which will be the first beef/cow anything I’ve had in probably over a year. I’m eating it more out of love for my wife than love for the actual meat. Long-term vagueness: I’m going to work hard at being me.

Follow Scott on the twitters, read his books,look at his pics, and go to his website.  He is a wonderful guy and should be made into a god.

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To recap:

I love conversations like this

The really do go almost anywhere

I love me some Scott St Pierre

You should too

I could have really slept significantly more today

I really wish I was sleeping right now

School is going well for me still

It is Spring Break for my university studies, so I should be heading down to Florida and getting drunk

I am still all Gluten Free up in this bitch

It is not the best thing ever

And I need to do stuff

Have a great weekend

20 Question Tuesday: 238 - Ali Spagnola

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Today I get the pleasure of asking the insanely talented Ali Spagnola 20 Questions… “who is Ali Spagnola?” you ask. Shut your stinking pie hole and read until you get to the end… you disgust me with your lack of knowledge. Disgust and dissappoint. At the same time.

Ali is a triple threat. She is a musician, and artist, and a third leg to a tripod so she doesn’t fall over. I became aware of the talented Ms Spagnola through the podcast the NSFW Show (please refer to my Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young 20 Questions). Ali has just emerged victorious from a 3 year legal battle like a drunken butterfly. She is in the process of getting a tour together and just quit her “day job” to pursue this musical endeavor. Ali is the owner and operator of a thing called the “Power Hour.” For those of you waaaaay out of the alcohol scene (like me… damn you allergies!!!), a power hour is when you drink a shot of beer every minute for an hour. Her power hour concert is one where she sings 60 one-minute songs to get people to party. The songs of hers I have heard are pretty darn badass. She is also the artist behind “Ali Spagnola’s Free Paintings” where she paints one painting a day and sends it to someone… Like a boss.

Anyhoo… enough about her, let’s ask her some questions. By “let’s” I mean, “I’m gonna.” To the questions!

I have a M.A. in geography, so the concept of “place” is always interesting to me, and I love the idea that where someone has lived tells a interesting story of their life. It is their geographic story. I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. My fam moved to Montgomery, AL when I was 3, moved northeast of Birmingham, AL where I stayed until I was 18. I went off to college in Kent, Ohio, and then grad school in Columbus, Ohio where I got married. I have been in the Columbus area for the past 15+ years. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

Pittsburgh.

Haha I was tempted to leave it at that but I fear I may seem like a jerk… as opposed to a funny jerk. I grew up and hour outside of Pittsburgh in Beaver County. I went to school in Pittsburgh at Carnegie Mellon University. After graduating, I got a career in Pittsburgh. This week, I left that career to pursue my music/business full time. In Pittsburgh. The only colors I’ve ever cheered for are black and gold. (I love that our city’s sports teams all have the same colors.)

Staying in the same area can be great, but when that place is Alabama…. /shudder. I love that the MLS team in Columbus is trying to capitalize on the Black and Gold of Pittsburgh.

So with the shift to following your musical career, Question 2: Do you see yourself having to move for career purposes? If so, where do you see that move taking you?

I don’t see myself having to move in the near future because a lot of what I do is online and touring. I need a home base for those things so why not keep it where I have a low cost of living and a close by mommy? I’m definitely open to moving anywhere needed to further my career but I haven’t found a specific reason to just yet.

It is nice that the globalization of entertainment allows for you to reside between the coasts and do what you do.

Now, to the question that all 10 of my readers want to have answered… Are you ready? Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

Pi. Specifically the math kind. I memorized it to 50 places. No joke.

So, then I assume you are familiar with the Hard and Phirm song Pi? Not a question, that was not Question 4, it was rhetorical, and potentially informative… As someone who majored in mathematics, I find that e is just as important as pi, but holds significantly less cultural sway than the ratio of circumference to radius. It is like… like… well, it is like the e is silent. That is a string of phrases and thoughts that I never thought, and probably should not have been, put into the public zeitgeist.

Question 4: Are you familiar with the Hard and Phirm song, Pi? I am not doing this right, am I?

I wasn’t. But now I am. Thanks, internet!

Anyone who memorizes 50 places of pi should know that song exists. I am a truth-giver more than a blogger. So…

Question 5: Why learn pi to 50 places when you have a fine arts degree? What is it about pi that you are so drawn to? It seems rather incongruous.

It was just always interesting to me. Despite the fact that I seem like a partying artist/musician. I’m also a giant nerd. I memorized pi in high school when there was a poster of it on the wall next to my desk in calc class. Incidentally, when I went to college at CMU, one of the acts in our freshmen talent show was two guys reciting pi in unison until one of them couldn’t remember any further. Wow. I knew I had found my home.

That is a very odd set of circumstances to get you to know pi to 50 places… very odd indeed.

So, your current concert seem to require a certain amount of libation. Therefore I surmise that there is a certain level of inebriation that you frequently endure… Back when I was young and viral and manly and such, 2 things happened when I would get drunk… enough. Thing the first, my southern accent would raise its ugly head, y’all. Thing the second, I get really really good, and I mean disturbingly good, at theoretical math. Question 6: Do you have any special powers that surface only when you are compromised by the alcohol?

My super power is enabling. That and making people lose their cell phones. The more I drink, the more belongings get misplaced.

I realize that may come off as me being a kleptomaniac but that’s not the case. It’s just that people have trouble hanging on to their stuff when they party with me and it ends up God knows where.

Methinks thou doth protest too much… From your luxurious bed of ill-gotten cell phones.

You went to Carnegie Mellon for fine arts, so I am going to dip into a art question… Question 7: When did you know that art was a thing you “had” to do? For example, I knew art was a pursuit of mine when I was 5 years old and drew a pilot in the little tiny cockpit of a fighter jet I was drawing.

It wasn’t like I decided all of a sudden that I had to make art. I still haven’t decided if it’s a thing I should do. Maybe I’ll go back to school for computer science.

Yet, you went through the amazing trouble of getting an actual degree in fine arts… I find that stunning. I started out as a studio art major, and the incredible subjectiveness of the art department made me jump ship to the math department. I was a pen and ink guy, and the painting/sculpture thing just did not work for me.

Question 8: Just painting? or are there other arty things in your life?… please don’t/do say scrap-booking… that would be both sad and awesome.

I was actually a sculpture major. But after I graduated I did digital art/design for a living. All of the nice things I make can be found here!

That is quite an impressive portfolio. I was especially impressed by the Midway Mania graphics, well, because I played that game this past summer. Well-done. Since I am at work at the moment, I did not look through your sound design work, but I am sure that is awesome. You don’t seem to put out crap…. look at me blowing sunshine.

Question 9: Fill in the blanks: I feel that I am mostly _____. Others feel that I am mostly _____.

I feel that I am mostly driven. Others feel that I am mostly drunk.

So, playing music is something that takes skills and concentration. I cannot imagine you being capable of changing musical genres and styles every minute while being soused. I would imagine around minute 50, the last 10 songs would be slurred lyrics with repetitive G chords. Question 10: Do you end up drinking through most of your power hour concerts, or are you merely a conveyance for others’ drinking enjoyment?

You are correct. I get exponentially less talented the more I drink. And there’s no Ballmer Peak for music. So I don’t play the Power Hour while I perform. I’ll maybe have a drink or two but I mostly don’t even have time because I’m too busy being the party ringleader.

The newer social aspects of the internet are helping to create a new class of entertainer or the “middle class rock star,” if you will. I imagine that the party host service you provide can really be considered a gateway to a longer form concert… Question 11: Do you have enough of a catalog to have a straight up concert, and if so, has anyone asked you to come back for a more traditional concert after you have powered their hour?

Well my show actually ends up being about 80 minutes, not just an hour. The songs all played back to back are exactly an hour and since I interact with the audience in between, my set gets extended. No one has asked me to play longer than that before but I have enough content to keep the party going. I’ve also considered switching to DJing after the Power Hour if anyone ever wants a longer show.

And actually, I do a monthly livestream show and this past performance ended up being three hours long because I started taking requests and played two hours of covers after the Power Hour!

Oh, cool. I was completely unaware of your livestream. That is great. I will need to put it on my calendar so I can experience it at least once.

Usually I ask a question that revolves around the word “dozen” since this is going to be question 12, but instead, I will address this question with something completely out of left field… You have mentioned that your focus was primarily sculpture when you were in college, but then moved on to more of a graphic area, and now you seem to be primarily focusing on more auditory stimulus. That is a transition of inputs from tactile, to visual, and then to aural. Question 12: Do you consider yourself a kinesthetic, visual, or auditory learner? Do you feel that your current method for learning has been consistent throughout your life?

I consider myself right in the middle of that triangle. Before any of the art stuff, I was a competitive figure skater and competitive dancer. That was all kinesthetic and because I started at really young age (3), my strength in the physical type of learning has never left me. Though, sing me something and I won’t forget it. Yet when I was taking tests in school, I’d visualize the page in the textbook where the answer was. Maybe that means I’m crappy at all three things. I have to dance while singing the words I’m looking at in a book before it sticks.

So you really are the triple threat. And probably the life of the party in a group study session.

So Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or any rituals? For an example of ritual, I used to get ready for a soccer game by getting dressed in a very specific sequence. I did not do it so much for luck as much as I did it to get my head in the right space. Do you have a ritual to get yourself ready for a concert?

Before my shows my ritual is two Power Hours. It used to be one but that worked so well that I’ve doubled it.

I find that difficult to believe seeing as how you just said that you have an issue performing whilst blotto, but I will let it go…

so… Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of. I chose Vampire Bear (the ursine variety, not a hairy gay dude) image

Question 14: What would you be most afraid of?

I’m most afraid of people taking my party to far and harming themselves. Making sure people aren’t being irresponsible with my game is a constant concern of mine and a very real fear… Ugh. A legit fear? What a downer. This frat sucks… Binge responsibly, kids!

That is a super legit fear, and I can imagine that is something that you have to keep in mind fairly often. I imagine you have consulted with legal people and such concerning liability and all that. It really does not surprise me as a fear of yours. We can be real on the 20 Q’s. It doesn’t always have to be silliness with a side of snark.

Let’s get real then since I have you in a moment of genuineness… Question 15: What is one trait within yourself that you would like to change? I’ll go first. I would like to stop being so fear based in my actions. I find that fear of failure seems to be hamstringing me from being bolder and potentially happier.

My liver. I think it’s reached it’s 3,000 miles by now so I’ll grab another.

Oh, were it that easy. Head down to the local 5 and dime and pick yourself up a new liver. Yes, I am 80… the 5 and Dime? What the hell?

So it does seem like you like the drinky drinky. Question 16: If you had all of them to chose from… beer, wine, shots, mixed drinks… What’s your poison?

I like a good whiskey on the rocks. I also like a crappy whiskey on the rocks.

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Not playing around, and going straight for the whiskey.. well, not whiskey straight, on the rocks… I am confusing myself now.

so Question 17: Is there something that I haven’t asked you that you are surprised I haven’t, or that you feel that I should ask?

You’ve been pretty thorough so far so I’m surprised you haven’t asked me about my ringtones. I have some songs that were shipped standard on a handful of Android devices and I occasionally get inquiries about that.

I feel you should ask me about my favorite pentameter. It’s iambic.

I had not realized how many irons you have in the fire. Well played Ms Spagnola, well played.

Turn about is fair play. I have been drumming you for 17 questions, so Question 18: Anything you want to ask me? I am pretty much an open book.

What’s your favorite pentameter?

I am somewhat a fan of the bard, so I am a fan of the iambs… however there is a soft spot in my heart for the classical lines of a good solid dactyl, but if push came to shove, iambic pentameter for the win.

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 questions that you did not bring in with you? Have these 20 questions illuminated anything new for you?

I’ve learned that 20 is much easier to tackle than 60.

I would say that it is about 1/3rd as difficult… were you taking a shot each time I sent you a question?

Question 20: What is next for you? Be as concrete or as vague as you want. Be as philosophical or straightforward as well… short term, long term, answer how you see fit.

Next for me is to make more nice things :)

Thanks, Ali! This was a blast. Everyone go to her indiegogo campaign and donate. Follow Ali’s exploits on the twitters. She is partying for our freedom so, everyone should support her for that alone.


To recap:

I am now gluten free I miss the gluten Mainly in the form of donuts And bread And pasta

20 Questions Tuesday: 237 - The American South

I was sick last week… shivering and chilled under a blanket on the couch watching House of Cards on Netflix.  In my fevered dreams I remember Kevin Spacey’s Georgia accent transitioning from pretty good to Foghorn Leghorn territory.  The rest of the week is a blur of almost being well and weakness.  So this week I am feeling better… not great, but better.

This weekend the wife and I are traveling down to Asheville, North Carolina for her participation in her 3rd marathon.  She is tired of training.  I don’t blame her at all.  She has run a shit-ton in the past year and a half.  So, we are taking our interracial marriage down south again.  It has been years since we have done that.  Trepidation is happening.  Therefore this week’s topic is: “The American South.”

Thanks this week go to Nadolny (who celebrated a birthday yesterday), the wife, lsig, and Maj McArmypants.  On to the questions!

1. Which Southern states don’t really have that southern feel anymore? I would argue that so many folk have moved to Florida from the North that it barely retains it’s southern feel in anything but the most remote areas (then again, remote areas in Ohio seem southern).
Florida is barely southern anymore… however the pan-handle is still deep south.  There are pockets that still retain their southerness and still being more cosmopolitan.  These are primarily the main metro areas.  No one can deny that Atlanta and Nashville are Southern with a capital “S,” but they also are cosmopolitan enough to have more than the singular Southern Culture represented.

2. Which Southern state has changed the least?
My gut sense is Arkansas. The most likely answer is Mississippi, but I think Mississippi is under enough of a microscope that change is inevitable.  Arkansas could be quietly stagnating….  

3. Can we just let Texas secede? Please. We could ask Cuba to take their place. That’s really piss the Texans off.
Sadly, no we cannot let Texas secede, Austin is too valuable.

4. Don’t we have an Ashville in Ohio? Do you really need to drive all the way to run there? It seems like one Ashville in the world would be enough.Who names their town Ashville?  A town full of ash? That sounds ludicrous.
The Ohio Ashville does not have an “e.”  We are traveling for the “e.” Asheville was named after Sam Ashe who is one of the founders.  North Carolina should eb happy that Asheville was not founded by Robert Gofuckyourself.

5. What’s your favorite Southern delicacy?
Ummm… that is easy.  B-B-Mother Lovin-Q….

6.  Why you no sound southern?
I worked actively and fervently to not have a southern accent because the Alabama accent I would have gotten is not pleasant to hear.

7. A: What southern attitudes did you leave behind? B: Which ones do you still carry with you?
A: The fatalism.  There are people in the South who subscribe very strongly in the idea of “Fate” or as the call it “God’s Will” and will not take actions themselves to change their lot in life.
B: Some of the manners and politeness… I don’t use it much, but I do have it at the ready.

8. Best job offer in the world…do you move back to Birmingham?
Any place in the south you would be willing to live?
Hell. Frickin. No.  There is no job in the world that I would be willing to take in Birmingham.

9.  Difference between The South and the Deep South?
Atlanta is the South.  Nashville is the South.  There is some southern heritage and tradition associated with the cities while acknowledging (somewhat) the fact that the Southern underpinnings was built on the backs of an enslaved people.  The South celebrates slowing down, politeness, and its food.  The Deep South are the places that are 15 minutes or more away from major cities where time moves backwards and the stereotypes and tropes live.

10.  Southern fried chicken…?  Is there a northern fried chicken?
Northern fried chicken is just “fried chicken, and “Southern Fried Chicken” I think involves buttermilk.

11.  What do you consider “the South” geographically? Culturally?
Hmmm… I consider the geographic boundary and the cultural south to be one and the same.  South of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, West Virginia and East of New Mexico.

12.  What benefit have you gained from being raised in the South?
The perspective of someone who has moved away.  It is a weird thing to have gained, because you can only gain it by leaving.

13.  What do you consider the main attribute that the South contributes or exemplifies within the overall American character?
Exaggerated and false politeness

14.  How long of a drive is it for you to Asheville?
It looks like about 7.5 hours.

15.  How much Southern marathon booty is the Wife going to kick?
Tons.  The runners there are already complaining that the temp is going to be too low…  My wife trains in 13 degree weather with a wind chill of 6.  (-10.5 temp with -13.3 wind chill for my Celsius folks out there).  

16. Considering your “American South” background do you really think of North Carolina as part of the south?  I mean the state has North in its name?  (and Asheville has more street performers than Paris….PARIS!!!)
It is a weird thing to have North in the name and be part of the South. I will grant you that.  It should be South Carolina and Souther Carolina. Street performers are nothing more than vagrants with skills, so a place in the south with beggars?  Not surprising.  That fact that they can soft shoe? Surprising.

17.  So according Health and Human Services (confirmed by my last trip home) the South leads the way in Obesity.  Finally we are number one in something!!!  Your thoughts?
Southern Fried chicken is a weight maker.  Deep fry it!

18. Overweight Alabama State Employees are charged extra to recoup Health insurance costs.  Good on them or totally unfair?
Good on them, but there should also be some incentive and assistance with exercise programs.

Personally, having been to several Alabama DMVs, I don’t think it is worth it.  Adding in a whole system to track that one skinny guy’s paycheck.  He just got there for goodness sake.  Give him about 2 years.
Meth… the skinny guy is on meth.

19.  I find that most fake southern accents on TV/movies are just painful. Why is that?
Because you are from the south.  If you were from Boston, you would find TV’s Boston accents to be deplorable.

Do you think it is because Southern accents ARE just painful and I did not notice growing up down there or that actors fail to grasp that you can’t try too hard?  Enunciation being the devil and all.
Not all Southern accents are painful… the ugly Southern accents are super ugly though…. and I think you meant “Enunciation being the debil and all.”

20.  Heat or the Humidity?
Heat.

To recap:
Finally getting over my cold
So much stuff coming out of my nose
Hoping it does not turn to an infection
Wish the Wife luck this weekend
She is running the inaugural Asheville Marathon
1/3rd on road, 2/3rd’s on trail on the Biltmore Estate
Should be awesome
She is concerned about not doing well
I am not concerned about that at all
She is kicking more ass than I ever have
Some of my podcasts are boring me now
Time for a refresh
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 236 - Valentine's Day

This week is the week of Valentine’s Day… I often don’t pander to the holiday, but today is one of the pandering days.  So, strap on some pander monkeys and let’s jump into the saucy sea of Valentine glitz.  

Thanks this week go to the wife, Chris Corrigan, Steev, Maj McArmypants and some other guy.. Onto the questions:

1.  ummm….We both forgot the anniversary of our engagement.  should we just pretend that we got engaged on valentine’s day like everyone else and go out to dinner?
Dinner is always appropriate.  Last week was crazy sauce.

2.  I love the name Valentine.  Someone should have a kid and name her that. thoughts?
I think that is perfectly fine, but I would feel that you know more people who might be able to make that happen.  

3.  What should be the kissing game at Zane’s(Little Man, our oldest kid) Valentine’s Day party at school?  An email was just sent out asking for ideas.  I don’t have any, but it has to involve kissing, right?
What the what?!?!  There is a “kissing game?!?!” What the hell does that mean?

4.  You and your beloved have the most amazing relationship…you talk all the time about how lucky you both feel that the other one would pick you, but if you could put it down to one thing, what fuels the love at the Ryan-Hart household?
It is a one/two punch of communication and putting your partner first.

5.  Tell me the story of why you changed your name when you got married.
The wife was not willing to take my last name, and I felt that it was important for my family to have the same last name. Therefore we combined last names to a hyphenated last name.  Simple really…

6.  Once I had kids I discovered there was another kind of love I’d never experienced before.  How would you talk about that love?
That love is really unable to be expressed by mere words.  It is an amazing and instant love.

7.  And here’s one for you…what are the parts of yourself that your beloved saw in you that no one had ever seen before? (I believe that just naming those qualities would be a lovely Valentine’s gift!)
I have sweet side that most people haven’t seen…. and never will.

8.  Why do you think love gets short shrift?
Because love is very intimate and personal. It is not something that can easily be jumped on by a group of people.  Hate and jealousy and pettier things are easily glommed on by a community of people.

9.  In 1929 there was a gangland shooting known as the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre. There was also a record album released in 1981 bearing the same name and featuring the metal band Motörhead. The lead singer of Motörhead’s name is Ian Fraser Kilmister but goes by the nickname Lemmy. Do you know why they call him Lemmy?
He gained the nickname by constantly asking, when poor and young, “Len’me a quid?” and his brilliant cadre of friends started saying, as Frasier would approach, “Oi, ere comesat Lemmy.” aaaaand scene.

10.  Valentine’s Day is the name of a romantic comedy film that was released in 2010. The film features Ashton Kutcher who was married to Demi Moore (which is kind of a romantic comedy in itself, but I digress.). Moore was also a founding investor in the Planet Hollywood restaurant chain. There is a Planet Hollywood in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; do you think they can show her movie Striptease there?
I think it is illegal to even show that movie in Louisiana.

11.  Valentine’s Day is also known as the Feast of Saint Valentine. St. Valentine or Saint Valentinus, died in prison in 629 AD. What do you think his last meal was and would you consider it a “feast”?
Gonna say that his last meal was not a good meal.  My bet is some crusty stale bread rind, a bit of moldy cheese, and small ort of some dried salted fish. The Roman’s weren’t known for their polite treatment of prisoners.  

12.  The day was first associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Although being a great poet, Chaucer was a less than great soldier. He was captured during the siege of Rheims in the Hundred Year’s War. Many of the largest champagne-producing houses, known as les grandes marques, have their headquarters in Reims. Do you think Chaucer was drunk when they captured him?
Drunk and in a compromising position with a local lady.

13.  In India, in the antiquity, there was a tradition of adoring  Kamadeva, the lord of love. This tradition was lost around the Middle Ages, when Kamadeva was no longer celebrated, and public displays of sexual affections became frowned upon. (Total bummer.) Before people stopped getting freaky in the streets, Kamadeva was known to fly around on the back of a bird shooting “love arrows” with his sugarcane bow with honey bee strings. This sounds suspiciously like Cupid, the Roman god of erotic love. The Pope lives in Rome now and has renounced erotic love. Do you think this is why he quit?
Nope, he quit because he is of advanced age and did not realize how much of his tenure would be associated with sex scandals.  That is a tiring work life.

14.  Don’t you think this would be more fun if this was formalled-up a bit?  Let’s call it St. Valentine’s Day and correct anyone who uses the “old” non-religious version.
I think it is time to start putting the reason back in the season.  Let’s martyr some clergy!

15.  I think we can safely say that love for St. Valentine’s Day is a spectrum. 1.  People who see it as a lame Hallmark Holiday.  2.  People who recognize it is a lame Hallmark Holiday, but would happily support it if it came with time off bestowed through Federal Holiday status.  On a scale of 1 to 2, where do you stand?
More 2-ish than 1-ish.

16.  Do you ever think that St. Valentine’s Day might be proof of the existence of a mainly apathetic mad scientist with a mind control ray?  I mean one day the US started buying romance cards that somehow honors an Italian martyr and let’s throw in the mass consumption of chalk in little tiny heart shapes?   Personally, I would have added in large red hats and insisted that love be spelled “wuv”, but otherwise if I had the technical know how for mind control this just about where I would have left it.
I don’t think there is enough of a subliminal message about how awesome the mind control scientist is.  If I were to create a holiday, there would be something in it to revere me as an icon of some kind.

17.  While never really NOT lame, don’t you think that this holiday’s day is done?  I mean in a time where courting was a “process” this might have provided an opportunity to express an interest.  Now that appears to be done causally with the standard: “Can I git with U?” text.
I like the idea of changing the meaning of Valentine’s Day (the colloquial meaning) from the romantic holiday, or Single’s Awareness Day as some call it to more of a Booty Call Day.

18.  Do you like those little chalk hearts?
Nope.  Cannot stand them.  My dad, however, could eat a bag of them.

19.  You doing anything for Valentine’s day?
Parent teacher’s conference followed by dinner with my wife, it seems.

20.  Valentine’s Day?  More like Valentine’s Gaaaaaay…. am I right?
No… No you aren’t right at all.  

To recap:
Who would want to be Pope
Man, I am rather tired
Sleep has been elusive
Mainly because I am not going to bed early enough
I should prolly go to bed tonight
Early-ish
I have 2 interviews in the works
Both are teh awesome
One is on question 9
And the other is sitting on question 14
I have one person willing to do a 20 Questions
But that person is on a cruise right now
I have had a couple other people say they were willing and then never email me back
If anyone wants to do one of these lemme know
Happy Valentine’s Day
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 235 - :)

I did not do any prep for this post… I don’t have an interview and I have not sent out the clarion call for questions that I usually do on Mondays… How will we do this?  I will find an online questionnaire and answer it!

Here we go, these questions are from:

http://answers.yahoo.com/questio/index?qid=20110124141233AAYyOgp

1. Do you wear make-up, if you do what kind?
Nope

2. Do you have a YouTube account? If you do what kind of videos do you make?
Yep, but anyone who has a Google account has a YouTube account.  Having an account does not mean that one becomes a content creator.

3. Do you have a Facebook/ twitter?
Yup… I tend to like Twitter better than Facebook

4. Who is your favorite singer/actor?
Well singing actors are a small population.  Hmmm… Ewan McGregor, or maybe Hugh Jackman… Obi Wan or Wolverine?

5. Do you have a iPod, if you do what are your top five songs on it?
They are mainly from comedy albums, but they are in order:

Sex in your Bottom by Greg Behrendt

A-Punk by Vampire Weekend (the lone song in the group)

God’s Lobby by Greg Behrendt

How do I get in a Relationship by Greg Behrendt

Riff Suite 2: The Mystery of Offices/The Burden of Seeing Me by Paul f Tompkins


6. What shirt are you wearing right now, and where is it from?
It is a light blue tight plaid pattern button down shirt that I got from somewhere about 5 years ago.

7. What is your favorite color or colors?
I like varying shades of green.

8. Do you live in a 2 story or 1 story house?
If you do not count the basement, it is 2 stories, but technically I could have answered this question with a simple “Yes,” because I do live in a 2 story or 1 story house.  This question is also awkwardly presumptive of my socio-economic status.  I could be renting or living in a box under an overpass only accessing the Internet via public computers at the Library.  Your questions are weak and poorly worded.

9. Do you like to read?
Yes.

10. Favorite store?
I would say the grocery store.  I go there all the time and clearly spend most of my money there.

11. Do you have pets? what kind?
Nope.  Non-existent.  Again, poorly worded question.  The second part should be “If so, what kind?”

12. How popular are you?
Dreadfully… take that as you will

13. What color hair do you have?
It is brownish.

14. DO you like your life?
I do… but I think you meant to emphasize “like” or “your” instead of “DO.”

15. Last text message says?
“Cool”

16. Do you get makeup from drugstores, if you wear it?
This is a bizarre question, at best.  This is like a logic question that follows a listing of statements.  Tammy doesn’t like make-up.  Betty wears makes up that only comes from beauty stores.  Liz likes make-up but will only wear make up from retailers found in larger stores.  If you are Liz… Question 16!

17. Favorite sport?
Soccer

18. What kind pants are you wearing right now?
Some light green slacks.

18. What your best friends name?
My best friend name is Glen, unless you count the wife, and then the best friend is the wife.  Glen is awesome, but the wife is a badass… you should really QA/QC your questions.

19. Do you love like or hate life?
And maybe you should re-read your questions before publishing.  See 14…. also commas, look into them.

20. Did you have fun answering these questions?
Meh, and sometimes I define “meh” as “no.”

To recap:
I clearly need to get questions from better sources
These questions are not well thought out
These questions are not provocative
These questions is not grammatically correct
But I did not do my due diligence and am left with these questions
Dad goes into get some heart stuff tomorrow morning
I hope they find a heart and not some mechanical pump that was placed there by space aliens 24 years ago when he lost those 4 hours of his life while driving cross-country…
Wait, check that last statement, the alien thing would actually be pretty cool
Unless it is one of those H.R. Geiger aliens… thems some ugly aliens… and mean
Have a good weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 234 - Rain

 

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back to the regular schedule… and by regular schedule I mean me answering questions in an asinine manner.  Some questions will be asinine, but, all answers will be.  So, it is almost February in Columbus, Ohio and it was gloomy and rainy yesterday… therefore, today’s topic is “Rain.”  I am nothing if not topical!

Thanks this week go to Kelly Smith, Nadolny, Lsig, Dr B-Dawg, Chris Ring, and Brett Wood. Let’s get to the questions.

1.  Acid or Purple?
I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain…

2.  You have become an overlord in a post apocalyptic world. If you were to start a reign of terror, what would it begin with.
The Spanish Inquisition… weren’t expecting that were you?

3. What’s up with freezing rain?  Can’t make up it’s mind. Is that the definition of wishy-washy or what?  (puns intended)
I think that people forget that precipitation can be many things.  Freezing Rain is just our inadequate naming convention, freezing rain is not a wishy-washy precipitation form… we have a wishy-washy language.

4. Favorite rain song? Least favorite rain song? (I despise many).
Favorite: I cannot think of one that just jumps out at me.
Least Favorite: Singing in the Rain… it is too much of an earworm

5. Hydroplaning, discuss.
Ah, hydroplaning, the way I “got rid” of my second car.  Really annoying

6.  If you got caught in purple rain, would you be laughing? Really? I think I’d freak out.
I would not be laughing, but if I saw you in the purple rain, I would expect you to be laughing… in fact, it is the only thing I would want to see.

7.  If you gotta blame it on something, is the rain really your best choice?
I think blaming it on a guy named Rob or Fab would work better, but seriously, I would blame it on a greedy producer.

8.  Which get you down more: rainy days or Sundays?
Rainy days

9.  Does the rain ever fall on your head like a new emotion?
Nope…. but I faintly remember it falling on my head like a memory…

10.  What would you foresee as the biggest potential problem were it to actually start raining men (hallelujah)?
Craters… craters of splattered men and broken limbs

11.  Who do you think the OED attributes “makin’ it rain!” to?
My bet will be Fat Joe

12.  Do you like jumping in muddy puddles?
Not especially… especially with my awesome shoe selections.

13. “Dancing in the rain” is a great tune, but it is really dangerous. Would this be the most dangerous song title of all time?
Nope, the most dangerous song name is, “Hot for Teacher”

14.  Many people like to sleep when it rains, how ‘bout you?
LOVE. IT!

15.  As a kid we used to construct make-shift “boats” out of popsicle sticks or paper and send them down the sides of the street towards the sewer during rainstorms. Can you remember doing anything like that as a kid?
God, did you also like pushing a hoop down the street with a stick? Skipping down the street with a big lollypop?  Are you 70?

16.  Do you find that rain slows life down a little which is why some people like when it rains?
That is an interesting theory.  I really like it.

17.  Do you know why I like rain? … Because it’s NOT SNOW!!! ok, I kinda answered my own question, you’re welcome ;)
Well, that makes my response easy.  It is like you don’t even need me.

18.  Do rainy days and Mondays get you down?
Just Mondays.

19.  Is there such a thing as too much rain?

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Yep! There is also “too little…”

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 “Too something”can always happen in a near infinite universe… I just blew your mind, didn’t I?

20.  Can you make it rain?
Best I got is a strong mist or a drizzle, but I cannot make it rain.

To recap:
Couple other interviews in the works
Gonna be awesome when they hit
But until then, you will ave to deal with me
Wow, you forget one “h” and the statement looks all 1890’s Cockney
The rain in Spain falls mostly on the plain
It’s like I’m th’opposite of “My Fair Lady,” govnah
I got on the treadmill Sunday evening, I did… what the ell was I thinkin?
Now me legs are all quivery and such, they are
And my feet
My feet feel like I’ve been walking on stones all day
Look, ere’s Gorilla Grodd for yer pleasure

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Oy! Ave a great weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 233 - Mike Milloy

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It has been too long since I have been to Nova Scotia.  It is a gorgeous place filled with wonderful people.  One of these people is the lovely Mike Milloy.  Mike and I started corresponding years ago because we were both daddy blogging like champs in the mid-aughts.  In a period of a year I had the opportunity to hang out with he and his family twice in the wonderful world of Nova Scotia.  First I was up there for the ALIA Leadership institute, and then a few months later the whole family came heading north to the Halifax area for my wife to work for a few days and follow that up with a crazy fun vacation.

If we had the money and the leisure time, I would work hard to have a second home somewhere in Nova Scotia.  Anyhoo… Mike is an absolute joy to chat with and a person I met on the Internet that I was ecstatic to meet in person… You will get to know him in the following 20 Questions.

Geography, my second love, compels me to ask you for your geographic story.  You have read these questions before, and I am sure you know what most of them are, so I assume you will have no problem with Question 1: What is your geographic story?

My geographic story starts out in the frozen tundra of Manitoba: land of lakes. And mosquitoes. And a lot of bundling up for long, freezing winters. Growing up there wasn’t as bad as you might think. As kids, we are innately bulletproof and don’t care much about how hot or cold it is, and so long as your parents have dressed you appropriately (or taught you how to do so), there is no problem lacing up your skates on your front step, putting on the skate guards, and walking half a mile on hard packed snow to play hockey at the community rink.

I lived there for fifteen years, then the family was uprooted and headed west to oil country for another decade or so, where I finished high school and the first of my university achievements. Going from the Keystone Province (really, that is what they call Manitoba) to Alberta wasn’t a touch switch. More hot summers, more cold winters… it didn’t really matter where it was, just that we were a lot closer to the mountains. It was in Alberta that I learned to ski and snowboard (enough to get by on a trip to Jasper or Banff), drive, and cram for exams. All in all, a good place to continue one’s formative years.

After taking a year’s reality check, I uprooted myself to Toronto for a couple of years to get away from my main area of study (economics) and into the environmental field. Two years at a university in the Big Smoke — I’m all about the place names today — I had both fallen in love and out of love with the city, and deeply in love with a girl; a girl from the East, no less.  And so it was that we would eventually pick up and move to Nova Scotia.

Trading the mountains for salt water wasn’t much of a hardship. I missed the snowcapped peaks, but learned how to sail and play in the hurricane-churned waves (if my kids are reading this, you should NEVER play in hurricane-churned waves. It’s just not safe.) I fell in love with the ocean, the bays, harbours, and inlets of this part of the world, and love reading nautical charts. I’m sure you as cartographer can appreciate moving from the world of hiking through the mountains with a topographical map in your hand, to holding a tiller of a sailboat and scanning charts to make sure you don’t run aground and sink your boat.

So that’s it, in four paragraphs… started in the middle, moved west, then steadily plowed eastward. I feel like a displaced prairie boy sometimes, but actually fit in with the comfortable east coast lifestyle better than I thought I might.

That is quite the Geographic Novella.  I knew the Manitoba piece, the Ontario piece and the Nova Scotia piece, but was unaware of the Alberta piece.  So I gather that Manitoba and Nova Scotia are the primary places that you call “home.” Question 2:  Which one is truly your home in your heart of hearts?  and why?

It’s cliché to say that the place where you raise your kids is inherently “home”, but maybe that’s for a reason. We (in the personal sense, not the collective sense) call this home because that’s where the most important memories are being made. I visited my birthplace a decade after leaving it, and found nothing that would really tie me to the place. Similarly, these days, visiting out west leaves me with the feeling that I just don’t belong there anymore: it’s a bit like having a geographic yearbook, or flipping through old photos. You’re in all of them, but they’re all time and place specific. So for now, this is home. Did I answer the question?

I completely understand, and you answered the question perfectly and eloquently.  When my childhood cat died whilst I was in my Super-Senior year in college (5th year) I realized there really wasn’t much “back home” for me to visit.  Yes, my parents still lived there, but that is beside the point.

People want to know, and they are getting antsy Question 3: Cake or Pie? Which kind specifically and why?

I am really more of a pie guy. Berries are my thing… blueberry pie is awesome. Cherry pie, even better. Lemon meringue? Don’t even get me started. That said, I have in my old age taken to going in for seconds on the pound cake with buttercream icing that is usually a ‘cop out’ at a birthday party. But for the sake of coming up with a single answer, pie.image

I have found that most people who like cake, LOVE frosting more than they like cake… Question 4: How do you think a pie with frosting would go over? I have my thoughts and will share them after your answer…

I think that would be a spectacular way to rocket one’s way into a sugar induced coma! I think the frosting is supposed to add something of a contrast to the stability and relative blandness of the cake texture, which really doesn’t exist in a pie. So I don’t think I’ll be an early adopter of the cake/pie hybrid. 

Firstly, I think you underestimate the amount of sugar that the typical North American (predominately United Statesean) diet can handle.  secondly, I think you also underestimate the sheer variety of frosting/icings that are available out there for desert consumption.  I suggest to you, the equivalent of a dutch apple pie, wherein you replace the highly brown sugar laden crumb topping of a typical dutch apple pie with a layer of cream-cheese frosting.  Cream cheese frostings are typically not that sugary (compared to butter-cream, at least) and have a savory undertone to its sweet flavor.  I say if done correctly, frosting on pies could bring about world peace.  One just needs to pair the correct frosting recipe with the appropriate pie… Q.E.D. World Peace.

I also think that many cakes would do well with some kind of fruit compote as a topping instead of frosting.

You work as an economist for the your province’s government, Question 5: When did you find out that you wanted to devote your mental energy toward economics (a subject loathed by many [coming from a mathematics major, so no judgement here, just curiosity])?

I don’t want to belabour the pie-frosting point here, but if you think the world could agree on what kind of frosting would best go with which kind of pie? You should contact the United Nations post-haste. I look forward to the impending state of world peace you will undoubtedly bestow upon us.

On to your next question, which if I read it correctly, is asking at what age I cut my hand so badly that in my swooning state of blood loss, I realised I would make a terrible doctor?

Eight.

As for what I did eventually become… I wanted originally to get a business degree. Why? I can’t really say. I think I was influenced by someone out there who was charismatic enough to garner my awe. And so I started on the path to getting some economics courses under my belt, and I just kind of kept rolling with that, to the tune of over two dozen economics courses before I realised that I still had to get some electives in or I wouldn’t graduate. Completely finished with my undergraduate degree, I knew that economics was getting too theoretical for me, so I’d better do something practical with my education, which took me into the environmental studies field. I eventually learned that pairing the two was a useful combination, and it set me on the path to doing a) economics, then b) environmental economics, and (now) c) mostly economics but with a critical environmental/interdisciplinary bent.

In other words, the cosmos aligned and I became what my education was supposed to prepare me for. Weird, right?

Being an economist in today’s era is an interesting thing. It’s like being a scientist and having your lab become the entire world. Or maybe the other way around. In any case, I don’t think economists are any more reviled than before; it’s just that people let you speak longer before they determine everything is your fault and even though you saw it coming, why can’t you fix it already??

And don’t get me started on math majors. Those freaks used to take the hardest mathematical-economics courses as electives.

Dude, I have way too many holes in the ground to look at to worry about world peace via the correct frosting to pie combination (whipped citrus flavored frosting instead of meringue on a lemon custard pie) … and as far as Math majors taking high level economic courses as electives?  not this guy;  I took art courses.

That being said, it is completely odd that you are working in the field for which you studied and you did not go after a professional degree like a medical doctor or lawyer.  Question 6: So, aside from chasing three kids as a parent and pouring over environmental economic indicators, what consumes your non-existent free-time?

I would make some witty comment about being so busy that I have totally forgotten about free time, but I read something the other day that indicated that people don’t actually ~care~ about how busy parents are! Can you believe that?

I like to run around. Sometimes by myself in straight lines down roads and paths, sometimes chasing and being chased by frisbees (And no, I am not a border collie.). I also like things with wheels: Bikes, skateboards, inline skates, what-have-you. Basically, unless it’s dark out, I’d rather be outside doing something active, and usually it’s with my kids. If it’s dark out, I’m probably consuming copious quantities of television shows that people also really don’t care to hear about.

I always enjoy hearing how busy my non-parent friends are and how they “can’t” do something because of their schedule.  Ha!  I say, they know not what busy is.  I am surprised you did not mention the photography, because you have a pretty good eye for that as well.  Anyone who follows you on the twitters or knows you on Facebook recognize your love of movement.  One of my favorite posts of yours was for one of your winter runs when you got a pic of yourself with a balaclava, and then took one with a balaclava and a jaunty scarf.  Makes me giggle every time I think about it. Every. Single. Time.
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Question 7: Is there anything out there that makes you laugh every time you experience it?image

That was kind of a funny picture. Hooray for accessories, I say.

Something that makes me laugh every time I see it? Hmm… I think human comedy is the funniest. I was brought up with a healthy sense of humour in the house (I know humour is subjective, so what I consider healthy might be construed as sick, or dry, or just off-base.) — particularly slapstick and physical comedy in movies and TV: Steve Martin, Peter Sellers, John Ritter… fantastic abilities. So anything that has to do with people falling down or making mistakes usually makes me smile. In the vein of internet distractions that keep me amused, two of my favourites are “Cakewrecks” and "DamnYouAutoCorrect". Dot-com those if you dare.

That’s interesting, I find wordplay to be more enjoyable than the slapstick… between us is comedic genius.  Humor is terribly subjective, that is why there are acts like Larry the Cable Guy and Cedric the Entertainer and Patton Oswalt and Brian Regan. All are fairly successful acts, but all are radically different.

Question 8: What would 13 year old Mike Milloy think about current Mike Milloy’s entertainment choices?  I know my 13 year old self would not understand all of my entertainment choices.

I have to believe that other than reality television, which pretty much didn’t exist when I was 13, my entertainment choices have stayed virtually unchanged. It’s sort of like music — at some point, your CD (tape?) collection stops changing, or at least growing noticeably slower.

That is true, but digital music has helped considerably in infusing new music into my repertoire.  For example, PSY’s Gangnam Style… I think I might like K-pop. Question 9: How are you introducing music to your kids? umm… I am asking for a friend.

I think the question of kids and music comes at an opportune time. With the first kid, I tried to keep things mature, but wound up in the downward Raffi spiral (which is good once you’re fully indoctrinated — kind of like a cult). That said, there’s a pile of contemporary artists doing kids stuff, which is a bonus. With the second kid, it wasn’t quite as tough, though the older was looking for something a little more interesting so we had to split the difference when it came to songs in the car. The third kid? She knows all the words to songs that I don’t want to tell her the meaning of.

We sheltered the oldest for a bit.  We Laurie Berkner Banded it for awhile and other kid stuff… Then he migrated to Weezer, you know, more kids’ stuff.  With Q, she is into dance music and gets exposed to the lyrics that accompany dance music.  Ke$ha writes some great lyrics for kids.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks.  I find that I am mostly _________.  Other people find that I am mostly __________.

I find that I am mostly barely holding my shit together. Other people find that I am mostly relaxed and in control of my faculties.

It is amazing how hard it is to hold everything together.  It is the “Duck Axiom:” On the surface serene and even regal, however, under the water, paddling like Hell.  I honestly do not know how I am above water right now.  I have the full-time job, I have a full graduate school course-load, I have 2 kids, and my wife has to travel for her job.  This does not even count the side work I have that seems to be lining up.  It is a wonder.  So because of your running in long distance running events, having three kids, having a full-time job, and spearheading the Movember movement in the Halifax area with your thin and blond moustache, it is a wonder you can come up for breath at all.

Question 11: What would you like to be doing with your time that you just cannot get to?

I’d like to be building something. Bikes, furniture, something that takes a moderate amount of time and obviously would require some degree of prolonged concentration. Life is just not conducive to individual pursuits such as those.

I once bought the plans and rough cut all the wood to build some Adirondack chairs for a friend’s wedding present. They now have three children and I never did finish the project. Luckily, I never told them about it.

I’m not saying that given the time, I could successfully pull off something that would look professional, but I wouldn’t mind pointing at something other than a photo on the wall and say, “I did that.”

Having a physical record of effort would be a great thing.  That is why I have been drawing more and more.  Lots of flat colorful artifacts of various degrees of quality.

Question 12: Do you have a favorite thing that comes in a set of dozens?

I like eggs

More of a doughnut man myself… I find that eggs are only an occasional thing, whereas I could eat doughnuts daily… Hourly even.

Since we are on Question 13: Do you have any superstitions/ rituals/ out of proportion fears, etc….?

Having been born on the 13th, I feel justified in claiming the number as a lucky number, rather than an unlucky one. I’m not sure if that’s irrational or not. On an unrelated note, I do sometimes fear that the difference between quirky behaviour and OCD can be a very thin line, so I’m constantly suspicious of my own idiosyncrasies.

Well, the issue with quirky vs OCD is if the action you are performing is to make sure some other unrelated activity occurs or doesn’t occur.  If it that kind of situation (I need to check my phone for voicemails so I know my kids are safe even though I checked 5 minutes ago and the phone hasn’t rang since then) then it is OCD.  If it is wearing a flowerpot on your head and dancing a jig, you are quirky.

I am well familiar with the effort it takes to deal with 2 kids in the house.  Question 14: In orders of magnitude, how would you rate the amount of parental energy it takes to scale up from parenting 2 wee ones to dealing with 3?image

Luckily, we never had three that were all “wee” at the same time. It felt like a geometric leap to go from 1 to 2, but the third actually was much easier to handle. People with two kids should definitely just go ahead and have a third. It really makes that difficult learning curve worthwhile! (Disclaimer: I should not be trusted in any way when it comes to parenting advice.)image

It is going from man-to-man to a zone leaves open seams for a kid to make a break across the middle… and you don’t want the kids to get a TD… at best a field goal.  ”Keep the kids out of the red-zone” is what I always think, say, and do.

Question 15: When are you coming to Columbus?image

That’s a good analogy. But having the oldest kid on your side part of the time is like having a mole… so it may appear it’s a zone defense, but it’s more of a hybrid.

Columbus is #1 of my places to visit when in Ohio. You should know that. But I have yet to broach the subject of a summer vacation in the family truckster to that part of the world. Do you have a board of tourism that can send me a video?

Nope, our tourism is more bored than associated with a board.  Don’t get me wrong, C-bus (as the locals are known to call it) is a great place to live.  Good schools, relatively nice climate, growing restaurant scene, etc… but it doesn’t really have much in the way of attractions.  If there is some kind of conference in the Columbus vicinity that is all about Economics… I insist that you visit.

Question 17: Have I missed anything? Any questions you were hoping that I would have asked?

Well, you haven’t asked me what the secret to blog longevity is, so I can only assume you’ve visited my dormant blog and have crossed me off the list of informed sources.

What about you? Is there anything you want to come clean about? Tell me about your childhood, Scott.

There is no secret to blog longevity.  Blogs come and go and mainly go, everybody knows that.  I am only doing this because I find it relatively enjoyable.  Once it begins to feel like a chore again…. another lengthy hiatus will ensue.

Well, Question 18 is typically the “What questions do you have for me?” but you jumped the gun… you turned the tide on me too soon… I don’t know what to do…

hmmm… a secret from my childhood… I was in the Boy Scouts, and got my Eagle Scout.  While I was there I was homophobic and pretty racist…  It was Alabama in the 80’s and early 90’s.  No matter how much my own tendencies went towards progressiveness and openness, I was a product of the environment.  It was not until I went to college that I shed that shit. Product of my environment and all, I still never liked country music.

You brought this upon yourself… Question 18: How about you?  Is there anything that you want to come clean about?

As a non-catholic, I never understood the idea of ritual confessionals. I mean, we all do bad stuff from time to time, but how is being sorry about it on a weekly basis going to make things better?

I try not to do things I’ll be regretful for, but I admit that I often do things without thinking about the downstream effects and consequences. Usually nothing too serious, but I admit that I’ve disappointed people close to me from time to time and it’s hard to revisit those days and events. Hopefully those people realize, like me, that we’re not a perfect species and that holding a grudge forever is just not productive. image

Grudges can really hurt things.  The hubris of my youth facilitated very similar actions without thinking of the consequences.  I guess that is how people become wise.  Stupid, unwise becoming wise people.

Question 19: What are you taking from this 20 questions that you did not bring in with you?

The motto for the Beavers (the entry point for boy scouts in Canada) is “sharing, sharing, sharing”. I feel I’ve done a lot of that here, which I suppose was your intent all along. I am not one to mesh my online persona (such as it is) with my personal life, but you’ve definitely been able to scratch through my veneer. Thanks!

I am a veneer scratcher, if nothing else.  But let’s be clear , I scratched the veneer to look at the deep luster of the subsurface.  You are a deep and wonderful person, that I am lucky to know.  On top of that, I am well aware that had it not been for Daddy blogging in the mid-00’s I would not have the pleasure of knowing you.

Question 20: What is next for you?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want to be.

At the risk of sounding like someone who’s turning forty (which I will do in less than three months’ time), I’d like to work on Who I Am. Not to say I’m going to buy a corvette, hit up a sweat lodge, and embark on a journey of truth (or open a record store), but I’ve come to realize there are things about me that are only “about me” because I like those things in other people. So I think the next phase of my life is going to be centered around critically thinking about the things I do and wondering if they’re really about ~me~ or if it’s just something amusing about other people that I have somehow latched on to. I should leave those things to them.

Maybe another way of putting it is that I’d like to try to live genuinely. I hope I have the fortitude to pull that off. No guarantees.

Well, I look forward to the genuine Mike in the future instead of this disingenuous bastard I have been dealing with here.  Mike, thanks so much for taking the time to do this.  FYI… to all my reading public, this 20 Questions spanned a full 6 months to complete… when he says that raising three kids is not significantly more effort than 2… I think he is a lying liarpants. image

Follow Mike on the tumblrs and the twitters

To recap:
I love me some Mike Milloy
You should too
Drew this for my 4 year old daughter
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She wanted Superman
And then said, “No!  Supergirl!”
Done and done!
It is silly cold today
But the cold has nothing on the windchill
I am not telling you what the temp is
Look it up your damn self
Well… that’s about it
Have a great weekend everyone
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20 Questions Tuesday: 232 - Greg Proops

Greg Proops Title Image

It is rare that I get get in contact with someone that completely and thoroughly intimidates me.  There is my wife, but I have learned to deal with that near constant terror after 17+ years. In this instance the intimidator is the stand-up comedian Greg Proops.  Mr Proops is one of the memorable personalities of the US and UK versions of the improv show “Whose Line is it Anyway?”  He is a facile improvisor, but his real strength lies in his meticulously crafted stand-up.  He is a wordsmith, a verbose wordsmith with amazing hair.  If you are interested in his weekly musings, he has a great  podcast called “The Smartest Man in the World.”  He is full of himself and backs that shit up, and oddly enough, he is at his best when he is in the middle of the boring preachy parts.

Without further ado, here are 20 questions with the feminist, improv specialist, podcasting genius, vodka aficionado, stand-up comedian, and baseball enthusiast. 

I got my masters in geography, specifically associated with geographic information systems and cartography, and the story of place really resonates with me.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, lived in Montgomery, Alabama, grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, went off to school in Kent, Ohio, and wound up in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born on a planet far away. Given powers that could corrupt normal mortals. I withhold some of my super juice knowing one day earth may need me.

You often mention how much you travel and you are touring all over the place.  Question 2: is there a particular place you cannot help but visit if the occasion arises? For example, if someone offered for me to go to Edinburgh (and I did not have previous obligations) I would go in the drop of a hat.

Paris is always at the top of my list. It is beautiful and the food is tremendous. Just the smell of coffe and bread in the moring is enough to write a novel about. I adore San Francisco with unbridled passio. I was just ther and we stayed at the wharf. The fog and the gulls, the seals and the tiny boats swaying in the slaty air. Goosebumps.

Question 3: Is there a non-traditional place that you enjoy visiting? Some place off the beaten path.  A little burg that you visited once with which you did not know you would fall in love… For me, currently, it is a little town in Nova Scotia that makes me smile.

Halifax, NS is a place of rare delight and mad lobster. Mendocino, California for me is heaven. Mendo and Point Reyes. Weed, wine and seafood.

One of the questions I always ask my questionees is born from a Paul F Tompkins bit.  Question 4: Cake or Pie?  Which specific kind and why?

Both. My wife kills both.

I have found in my asking this question to bunches of people, that there is a strong distinction between who likes cake and who likes pie.  In my small survey sample, I have noticed that people who opt for pie, really like pie and would love a piece of pie if it were available.  However, people who opt for cake, LOVE cake and would jam a fork in a baby’s hand to get that piece of cake. Question 5: Why do you think cake lovers love cake so much? and why are pie eaters relatively ambivalent in their love of pie?

I have not found your thesis to hold true. Pie lovers in my experience are simply cake lovers who have not yet grasped that fact about themselves.

You are clearly a lover of words with a delightful vocabulary.  I have found that there are a smattering of words that should be used more often but are not.  For me, one of these words is “whilst.” Question 6: What is a word that is in relative obscurity that you feel should be used more in everyday language?

Recalcitrant it means defiant of authority or difficult or resistant.

I also try to fit in the word “shiny” as an adjective for awesome.  “His performance was really shiny.”  That shit just doesn’t work, so it is not working well.  I do not seem to be able to gain any traction at all.  I think one of the reasons for that is because it is a silly notion, and I also have the social footprint of an unknown blogger.

Shiny is best when used describing things that actually shine like sword tips, or the moon.

Question 7: Is there a “3rd rail” of comedy? If so, how often have you danced on that rail?

I have pissed on it, daring fate to leap up and scorch my manbag.

So, I have been sitting at my desk and rubbing my eyes nearly nonstop for the past 5 minutes.  I am pretty sure it is something to do with some moldy elements at my workplace and my own difficulty dealing with mold at a histiminic level. Question 8: Do you have any allergies?

Poverty is highly allergic to me. I have been poor and it is hard fucking work.

I think I may be allergic to alcohol.  Every time I have a drink (the equivalent of a shot, a glass of wine, or a pint of beer) my face gets flushed and I get a nasty headache.  The following morning I am hit like I drank a keg of beer and licked a lizard of some kind… after.just.one.drink.  It is quite annoying.  I have been staying away from the alcohol for the past 5 years or so.  Question 9: You are a lover of the vodka, what is your brand of choice?

Don’t lick lizards you have not been properly introduced to. Any brand I am pretty slutty. Tito’s handmade is nice. Chopin is very smooth.

From listening to your podcast, I know that you love Roman History.  Question 10: Who are the 5 Romans with which you would want to have an intimate conversation? They do not have to be an emperor, but they could be… and it does not have to be simultaneously.  No reason to get Caius Cassius and Julius Caesar in the same room.

Cicero because he is the governor. He is why we know anything about Rome and the rhetoric he used still stands. He loved his family and hated Caeser and Antony and paid for it baby.

Cleopatra, I know she wasn’t Roman but she had a huge influence on Rome and did visit. Fascinating woman.

Livia, Augustus wife. Probably one of the most powerful women in the history of Rome. She could tell you everything about what was what.

Hadrian- Gay, lover of poetry and things Greek, Traveled the most of all the emperors.

Seneca, Tacitus, Strabow, Arrian, Martial, Terence, Plutarch- Poets and historians.

Oooh, over halfway done.  Question 11: Is this going okay?  Am I boring you? I am boring, aren’t I? God, I am so self-conscious right now…

Easy, Cochise. We are moving right along.

Question 12: Dozen eggs, dozen bagels?dozen roses? dozen donuts (doughnuts… you pick your spelling of choice), or the Dirty Dozen?

Eggs are useful, donuts divine, bagels are great in the morning, the Dirt Dozen is an awesome film. I love Jim Brown and Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin. Ralph Meeker has the best line in the picture. He is the psychologist and Lee Marvin asks him what he ahas found out about the guys and he says,’ But along with these other results, it gives *you* just about the most twisted, anti-social bunch of psychopathic deformities I have ever run into! And the worst, the most dangerous of the bunch, is Maggott. You’ve got one religious maniac, one malignant dwarf, two near-idiots… and the rest I don’t even wanna think about!

Always donuts for me… always.  A dozen donuts is almost immediately a half dozen though…

Ah, unlucky 13… When I was a young’un I had a specific ritual that I did prior to playing soccer.  I did not construct it as a “lucky” thing, so much as I used it to get myself in the frame of mind to play the game.  Question 13:  Do you have any classic superstitions (salt over the shoulder, black cats, etc…) or rituals (get dressed in a specific sequence, only pour the vodka into this specific glass)?

I smoke a j and pray to the gods of funny.

I always love your diatribes against popular culture, so for my own indulgence… Question 14: Can you give me your best reasoning as to why non-celebrity celebrities (Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, etc…) have become so integral to popular culture when their “celebrity” status is consistently decried by the very media that elevates them to relevance? … and go.

The world is full of mediocre people who don’t want anything to challenge their crappy pre-conceived notions or their stunted intellect. So they elevate these entities to distract us from the game at hand. The rich have taken over and are never letting go, the government is not going to help you and war is made to drain the wealth from regular people. The media is owned by the companies that run the government. Do not believ anything on TV. Nothing on TV is true or important in your life. Except the World Series and old movies.

Question 15:  Fill in the blanks:  I find that I am mostly _____.  Others find that I am mostly _____.

Unable to fill in blanks. Pretentious.

Question 16: Do you have a typical day?  Is there a typical schedule that you adhere to on a typical day?  or are you some kind of laze about hedonistic well-dressed neo hippy who lounges about all morning until you have to scrape yourself away from your comfy confines to belly up to the comedy club and swill libations until you entertain the masses with your witty rapport?

I awake full of fear and trepidation. The world is scary. Then I burn one and move on.

We are heading into the wrap up.  Question 17: Is there something I should have asked you that I have not? and what is your answer to this question I have not asked through my staggering inadequacy?

The greatest ball player of all time is Willie Mays and yes Barry Bonds should be in the Hall of Fame.

I understand that turnabout is fair play. Question 18: Is there a question you have for me?

Really?

Yeah, Really.  I know.

The penultimate question… Question 19: Are you leaving these 20 questions with anything that you did not have with you when you started them?  What is your take away from this “experience?”

You have overthought some things and pulled the ripcord on others. You seem sincere and you care. That is what is important to me. I like insecurity it is a sign of humanity.

and now the final question, Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as concrete or vague as you want…

Hopefully a new comedy hour for Chill who did Maria Bamford’s special special. Maybe a book…..and as always the Proopcast which is free on iTunes or gregproops.com

Well, that just happened.  Follow Greg on the twitters iffens you want, but the podcast is really a better milieu for his particular comedic stylings.  Heck, follow me on the twitters as well… if you are bored

To recap:

Holy shit!  That just happened…

Back to the normal format next week

Classes started up today…

So much work to do

Go buy Greg’s albums

Proops Digs in from 2010

Elsewhere from 2009

Houston We Have a Problem from 2007

Joke Book from 2006

Back in the UK from 1997

Those are the only ones I could find

They are hilarious!

Listen to them

Listen to them now

No really… I have listened to them all

The wife is back in town after a week in Montreal

She seems to have loved that town

Mon épouse adore Montréal

et elle retourne en octobre

I have homework to do now

In a subject I know very little about

Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 231 - Bill Meeks

Today I get the pleasure of asking a video artist, yes, I said it, a video artist, 20 Questions.  The artist in question is one Bill Meeks from Meeks Mixed Media.  Bill is a multi-media triple threat.  I don’t know exactly why I called him that but it sound really good.  He is an incredibly talented video editor and has created boatloads of animated title sequences and his work can be seen all over TWiT and the Geek & Sundry Channel on YouTube.  I became aware of the talents of Mr Meeks whist watching the NSFW Show on TWiT.tv.  Bill is a consistent presence within the chat rooms for multiple TWiT shows and has participated in many of the antics associated with the NSFW Show hosted by Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young.  I really loved his entry into one of the show’s 10 second film festivals and felt he was robbed of the win in that contest.  It is humor like that which makes me want to get to know him better.

Without further ado 20 questions with a guy whose work I am envious of, but know diddly-squat about.

I have a M.A. in geography, so the concept of “place” is always interesting to me, and I love the idea that where someone has lived tells a interesting story of their life.  It is their geographic story.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. My fam moved to Montgomery, AL when I was 3, moved northeast of Birmingham, AL where I stayed until I was 18.  I went off to college in Kent, Ohio, and then grad school in Columbus, Ohio where I got married.  I have been in the Columbus area for the past 15+ years. Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

I was born in a small town next to Houston called Katy, Texas. Brushwood lived there back in the day as well although we didn’t know each other. When I was 3 we moved to Stafford, VA for a few years then moved back to Katy when I was 7 or 8. When I was 12 my grandmother got pancreatic cancer so we moved to Wheeling, West Virginia to be closer to her. I stayed there through high school and moved out to L.A. when I turned 18 where I stayed until I moved to West Liberty, WV at 19 to go to college. College wrapped and I moved to Philadelphia for about a year. Then I went back out to LA for about a year and a half. On a trip home to visit family I connected with my now wife, who had been a friend of mine in college, and we got an apartment in Pittsburgh. After we got married we moved to Cleveland for a year and a half and then back to Pittsburgh, where we stayed until moving to Atlanta two years ago. Whew! Had to start with the longest question, didn’t you?

There is a good chance that things will get longer as this goes on.  You never know where these questions will go.  Sure there are points that these typically all hit, but in between those points it is anyone’s guess.  So, you have a pretty interesting geographic footprint, Question 2: Where do you truly feel “Home?”

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the host was saying that it takes about three years for a place to feel like “home.” I thought about it and in my adult life I’ve never stayed anywhere for three years. The house I live in now holds the record at 26 months. Maybe because of that no one place really feels like “home” to me. It’s more circumstances. When I’m lying on the couch with my three kids lying on top of me while we watch a movie that feels like home. Talking to my wife while she drives on a road trip feels like “home”, To me home isn’t a place. It’s the people around me.

Home can definitely be a grouping of people and not necessarily a place.  For me, Columbus immediately became “home” because I moved there with my wife.  She is home to me. Where she is, is home.

The masses demand this question.  Question 3: Cake or pie? which specific kind and why?

Cherry pie, because it is delicious. Also pie is a better choice than cake because cake is so light and fluffy that you can eat a decent amount before you get full. With pie generally a piece will do you well.

There is a place in Columbus called "Just Pies"  that has world famous Cherry Pies.  I say that only to make you jealous.  My mom was a cake decorator when I was growing up, so I have a soft spot in my heart for cake, but I think pies tends to win out for me, unless it is cheesecake and then we have an immediate winner.

Question 4: So I know you are the creator of wonderful motion graphics and video, when did you realize that was something you could “do?”

I am jealous, you jerk. I was always interested in TV growing up, but there were two moments that really locked in video work for me. When I was 15 the local computer club I belonged to did a tour of the local TV station. We stopped in to the 3D animator’s office where he was using Lightwave 3D to make on-screen graphics and promos for the station. I’d always heard of computer animation but I didn’t realize it was something that could be accomplished on just one machine. Seeing somebody do it made me realize it was achievable.

The second moment was a party at my sister’s apartment right before I started college. She had a computer with Windows Movie Maker and a cheap $10 lapel mic from Wal-Mart and with a little spit, Spackle, and a few stills from King Kong I found online I put together a small narrative. Charles Johnson vs. King Kong! Charles was my sister’s boyfriend. King Kong climbs the Empire State Building then sees a Photoshopped giant Charles humping the Statue of Liberty. Shocked he falls, and our hero tells us was beauty killed the beast over the sounds of Charles humping. Award-winning stuff. But it gave me a rush I still get every time I hit play on the draft of a project.

Truth be told I am not big on the fruit pies.  Only really well made apple pies.  Blueberry and cherry have never done it for me.  I am a lemon meringue guy.  So, just to make you hate me more, we have an incredible cherry pie within 3 miles of the house and I don’t eat it.  Wasteful, I know.

The video editing path is fascinating.  I am okay doing still work in 2-D, but the idea of adding motion and depth kills me.  My hat is off to you, good sir.  The cap has been duly doffed.  I love the word “doffed,” but it is rarely used, and only in conjunction with hats.  Question 5: What is a word you really like that is rarely used?

Now I’m not only jealous but I strongly dislike you. My word is Jejune, which means stupid, immature, and childish. I like to blindside people with it and make fun of them when they don’t know what it means. I guess that’s pretty jejune of me.

Oooh, I haven’t heard jejune for a long time.  I love that.  There are so many good words out there just discarded on the side of the road, disused, forgotten, and rotting slowly.

Question 6: Since the new year is coming, what goals are setting for the new year?

In the grand scheme: to top this year. In more exact terms I’m getting some new gear and something of a production budget to work with so I’d like to increase output in “fun” content, or stuff that I do because I absolutely want to. Little projects I’ll be building from the ground up. I’d also like to get back in shape, but that’s so cliche. 

New gear is always fun.  You could have chosen a significantly cheaper interest though. Quality AV equipment is pretty costly.  I do think that the cost of entry is a pretty significant barrier, not to mention the learning curve.  Yikes.

So I make maps for a living, and when I see poor cartography (see any maps in USA Today) I get infuriated by the ineptitude and complacency and the cost of the map compared to what I am making right now…  Question 7: do poor tile sequences just completely piss you off as much as bad maps do me?

Cost of entry is actually better than it ever has been, but it’s still expensive to get the best stuff. I generally don’t get pissed off very easily but when people get too trendy or too derivative it gets on my nerves. Yes, your name in 3D letters with particles flying around it might be a cool thing to show your friends, but it was stale two years ago in the marketplace. A thousand people have the exact same thing and while it might not set off any alarms in the average person but it won’t make you stand out.

It is amazing how quickly things get stale in the digital realm.  It makes it difficult to stay on top of having an online presence for anything creative

Question 8: Do you see any slowing down on the production of technical equipment due to physical limitations or is the sky the limit and changes will continue fast and furious?  (ie. 720, 1080, 2k, 4k, etc…)

It seems like most advances in the digital space stay popular for about 10 years. HD has been popular for five or six years now so we are due for a change over. They are trying to make 3D happen but I don’t think it’s going to. I can see 4K getting big in the next few years. As for what comes after 4K I don’t know. We can go bigger or we can go to some sort of interactive standard, but that’s for smarter and with a bigger investment fund than me to sort out.

You are clearly an avid viewer of the TWiT network, and since I live on podcasts due to my boring job (I take in about 38 hours of podcasts weekly), Question 9: Do you consume many podcasts, and, if so, which ones?

A ton. I’d say I probably listen to more podcasts then TV or Movies. My first podcast was Coverville but the first one I really became a big Fan of was Raging Bullets (A DC Comics fan podcast). I of course listen to a ton of TWiT and Revision3 shows. NSFW, Framerate, MacBreak Weekly are favorites on the TWiT side. Revision3 it’s Film Riot, Breaking it Down, and Scam School. Outside of that here is a list of podcasts I enjoy in no particular order: The Nerdist, WTF with Marc Maron, Fatman on Batman, East Meets West, Breaking Bad Insider Podcast, Radio Free Skaro, Comedy Bang Bang, Nerdist Writer’s Panel, Scriptnotes, and everything NPR/PRI put out. I also host a podcast about ABC’s Once Upon A Time called Greetings From Storybrooke (greetingsfromstorybrooke.com). /shamelessplug


*Editor’s Note:  Google these other podcasts your damn self.  I have neither the time nor the energy to link all these damn things**

I have not been able to get into podcasts about other shows.  I have tried a few, but they just don’t seem to resonate with me.  One of the main reasons, I think that is the case, is that I haven’t really gotten into the shows that those podcasts are about.  I know I am blaspheming to a degree by saying this, but I have not watched Breaking Bad, I am not a fan of The Walking Dead, and I have never gotten into Madmen.  In fact, we do not have cable, and I only stay semi-current with one show, Arrow.  I like the treatment of the character, but he really does need to have the goatee as part of his costume.  Get on that Arrow producers.  Anyhoo… Plug away on your podcast.  If I watched Once Upon a Time, I would definitely subscribe to your podcast.

Since this is the middle of the 20 questions… Question 10: What are you currently in the middle of right now?  Could be a book? could be a life shift? What is waiting for you at the end of this thing you are in the middle of? (Other than this 20 Questions)?

I’ve heard good things about Arrow, but I haven’t got around to watching it yet. Smallville kind of left a bad taste in my mouth as far as live action DC superheroes on The CW. It went way too long and didn’t give Superman fans nearly enough pay off.

Right now I’m in the middle of writing a script for a video. After that comes recording then lunch then editing. What is really waiting for me at the end of the day though is the XBox 360 my wife bought the kids for Christmas. I’m probably going to set it up tonight to make sure everything works and get Minecraft downloaded for my son Liam. I don’t celebrate Christmas but I still have to do all the tech stuff.

I have been watching Arrow on hulu, so I get it a week after broadcast.  It is fun and they are treating it very seriously.  There is some camp to it, but it seems to be grounded in a consistent reality.  I heard that Smallville started out great and the end of it just wilted.

Question 11:  Fill in the blanks:  I feel that I am mostly ________.  Others Feel that I am mostly ________.

I feel that I am mostly a decent person, a hard worker, and pretty fun to hang out with. Others Feel that I am mostly balding.

Balding?  Hadn’t noticed.  I have heard that you are indeed an enjoyable person to be around.  I think both statements may be true here.  They are not mutually exclusive categories… clearly.  Nor is there any causal relationship.  Decency, hard work, and fun do not bring about baldness or vice versa.
As you mentioned beforehand, you have moved all over the place and have consider home where you have a couch and kids lounging on you.  Question 12: Where would you like to live, if you had your druthers?

I’d love to move back to Los Angeles. I was doing pretty well there last time and loved the atmosphere. As of right now it probably won’t happen because it would be WAY too expensive to live in a safe neighborhood and in a big enough place for the kids, but it’s always in the back of my mind. Someday, maybe.

Cost of living out there is definitely crazy high.  One of my wife’s friends just moved out there from Central Ohio and is re-adjusting to a significantly smaller residence for her family of three.

Ah, unlucky 13… Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals to speak of? Superstitions like “crossing a black cat’s path” or rituals being more of an odd sequencing of actions to bring about an outcome.  If this is unclear, let me know and I will try to ‘splain it better. 

My lucky number is actually 13 just because it’s silly. I really don’t have any big superstitions. Pretty rational overall. I do find myself occasionally stepping over cracks when I’m out walking to spare my mother’s back, but when I realize I’m doing it I stop myself. My wife is pretty superstitious though. She always stops me when I mention a situation is going good because she thinks that will make the same situation go south. Silly, but I humor her and try to watch proclaiming success.

Proclaiming success is not something I have to worry about.  So, at least that is not a problem for me.  It is interesting that your have Lucky 13 in your back pocket.  There are worse things to have than a lucky number. For example a rapid monkey.  That would be much worse than having 13 as your lucky number.

Time to get creative.  Someone once asked me what I would be most afraid of.  I chose Vampire Bear (the ursine variety, not a hairy gay dude).  Question 14: What would you be most afraid of?

A strange dog clawing at my eyes as he pushes me towards the unprotected roof of a skyscraper. All my greatest fears, one twisted scene.That sounds rather frightening, indeed.  Especially if that strange dog is a little yappy dog.  ooooh I dislike the little yappy dogs.

Question 15:  Who is your guy in the DC universe and what is your opinion on the New 52?

Superman. Superman. Superman. Superman is not only my favorite comic book character. He’s my favorite fictional character. In his best stories he inspires me to be a better person. I’m a fan of anything Grant Morrison has done with the character, but I also love the Julius Schwartz era with weird powers and imaginary stories. I even have a Superman tattoo. The New 52 is fine and I really liked Swamp Thing, Animal Man, Actions Comics, and Demon Knights. I’ve been saving up my favorite titles though to blow through a few story lines at one time though.

So, the upcoming Superman film is rather exciting to you. It does seem as if they have it correct this time around, if the trailer has anything to say about the movie.

Question 16: Red underwear over blue tights, or no underwear? As a comic book arts guy I have my opinions, but I am curious what a Superman fan thinks

Love the trailer for Man of Steel. I was completely against the project based on the news and rumors but the trailer completely sold me. You didn’t see a ton of Superman but it really felt like they got Clark right. Red underwear over blue tights. I like the classic look. Very circus.

Visually, even if it seems silly, the underwear over tights work better.  It breaks up the blocking of color and creates some more interesting forms to immediately recognize.  I was not sold on the idea of a new Supes movie, but I have to say, this most recent trailer makes it seem like they got the character correct.  Well done.

It is too bad that I only got to Superman until just now, this has been super fun to ask these Superman questions.  Question 17: Is there any question that I did not ask you, that you feel I should have?

Let’s see. Superman, video production, family, podcasting… I think we covered all the bases. Wait. Music. You never asked me anything about music. Favorite Band in Barenaked Ladies pre-Steve’s departure. Favorite song is Break Your Heart by the same. Also love Harvey Danger, The Decemberists, Say Anything, and used to be really into the punk scene. I ended that when I had to get a tooth rebuilt after a bad incident in a mosh pit though.

Sad to say, I really have moved away from music lately.  I listen mostly to podcasts now.  I am old…. so… so.. old

Question 18: Any questions you have for me?

I’ve shied away from new music lately. Just haven’t found anything that lights me up. Now, for your question.

Who would win in a fight: Ninjas or Ninja Zombies? Please include your reasoning in detail.

I find that this is actually a bit of an easy question.  Ninjas beat Zombie Ninjas any day of the weak.  Ninjas are all about subtlety and misdirection.  Zombies are base level organisms.  They lose all training and abilities when they re-animate, so it is not like they are zombies with ninja abilities, they are merely zombies.  They are merely zombies in fancy pajamas.

Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you? 

I guess it depends on the zombie lore you subscribe to. I personally think that at least within a month or two of turning the zombie ninjas would retain a decent amount of agility and muscle memory… the base level ninja stuff. Plus, every micro-battle won by a zombie ninja would recruit another zombie ninja to their side. I think eventually the zombie ninjas would win out.

As to the question: A slightly better understanding of current self? That’s probably BS though. I have enjoyed the questions popping in every little while though. A welcome distraction. Also, I have your wallet.

I immediately consider a 20 Questions a success if anybody gets some kind of better understanding of self.  That is a one I consider in the win column.  My wallet is useless… I work for the state.

Question 20:  What is next?  Be as concrete or vague, as real or philosophical as you want.

Fun stuff. 2013 is the year of fun and merriment and a little light vulgarity. Around the end of January/Early February keep an eye on my site (meeksmixedmedia.com) and my Twitter (@billmeeks) for some very exciting projects. Until then I’ll be upgrading my gear, planning things, and editing my Nanowrimo Novel. Thanks for asking me to do this, Scott. It has been a complete blast. I’ll miss our missives throughout the day. *tear*

This was absolutely a ball of fun!  Thanks so much for taking the time to answer 20 Questions.

…and just because the 20 questions is over, that doesn’t mean we can never talk again.

Everyone who needs animated title sequences should hit Bill up.  He is a badass.  

To Recap:
The wife is out of town for a week
And the 4 year old is pushing boundaries
Seriously pushing boundaries
She seems to do that when only 1 parent is present
I would go to work and she would test my wife
Now that the wife is out of town, the girl is going bonkers with power testing
She is probing the boundaries like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park
The movie, not the book
Clever Girl
The wife gets home on Monday
And then I will sleep
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 230 - New Years

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Happy New Year to all of you on this wonderful day full of promise and expectations.  This year will be amazing and I am truly looking forward to seeing what it brings this way.  Zombie apocalypse?  Fingers Crossed!

The topic this week is, for lack of creativity, “The New Year.” Thanks go to Lsig, Lord Pithy, Dr JHP, Newbold, and Chris Corrigan.  Onto the questions!

1.  ”Dropping the ball” is both our tradition for ringing in a new year and an expression for screwing something up. Coincidence or deeply profound symbolism?
In this instance I do believe it is coincidence.

2.  What New Years Eve or New Years Day traditions so you have?
The fam doesn’t really have too many real traditions concerning the New Years time.  Other than making time for reflections and some for looking forward.  New Years is a time to avoid the present, it seems.

3.  Do you make resolutions? Do you keep them? Are You Going to Make any New Years Resolutions?  Will you keep them? Resolutions for the New Year?
Typically, if I do make resolutions, they are vague.  Last year’s resolution was to drink more water.  I did that.  This year will be to use lotion more often on my scratchy scratchy knuckles.

4.  Ever been to Times Square for NYE?
Nope, and I never want to.  Too many people, and I imagine a good proportion being dirty and smell heavily of cheap alcohol.  

5.  Any blog plans for 2013?
I would like to get more 20 Question Interviews going… anyone know anyone who wants to answer 20 near random questions?

6.    Predict what you believe will be the trigger for a 2013 doomsday cult.
That comet that is mentioned in Question 17.

7.  If you could pick a book that it will be announced will be made into a movie in 2013, what would it be?
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

8.  What was your favorite New year display (Times Square, Paris, Gahanna)?
Do I have to pick one?  I don’t really care that much about the celebration of New Years.

9.  Have you ever been tempted to stroll around town in a diaper and a sash a la Baby New Year?
Not even slightly.

10.  How many words can you make from the letters N-E-W-Y-E-A-R?
How many can I?  or how many can the Internet make out of it?  Me?  Let’s say 4.  The Internet? 58.

11.  Why do you not use your conference call time to solve world hunger, cold fusion, and the trouble with Highlander 3?
A little background.  During conference calls at work I draw… these…


(I color them at home, I am not an idiot, but they are not exciting conference calls)

I do not have the ability to solve world hunger or cold fusion.  One needs to solve Highlander 2, The Quickening, before tackling Highlander 3.

12.  If you could create a new year counting system what would you base year 1 on and why?
Year 1 would be this year and it would result in us being in the fourth b’ak’tun.  Mayans FTW’s.

13.  Any mathematical significance to 2013?
Not that I can ascertain… ask these dudes.

14.  Are the kids looking forward to the New Years Eve coverage on TV or just another night for them?
They were looking forward to drinking sparkling grape juice and eating heavy hors d’oeuvres with my mother-in-law.

15.  What one thing are you hoping to accomplish this year?
2/3rds done with this next Master’s Degree

16.  What was the best thing about 2012?
Tie between starting up the new degree and moving into the new house.

17.  There’s a really good chance a giant comet will light up the sky brighter than a full moon next year. Do you see doomsday bullshit re-surging  about that time?
Yup, see Question 6.

18.  What are your predictions for the MLS this season?
Hmmm… Let’s see.  The parity of the league will make a good bit of bunching in the middle.  I imagine that San Jose will be the real deal again.  RSL will be bottom third instead of near the top as usual.  KC will struggle this year.  LA and New York will be really strong.  Columbus and Vancouver will make the playoffs but sputter out pretty early.  TFC will struggle as usual, but they will be closer to .500.

19.  And what about the Columbus Vancouver rivalry?  We ought to have a name for it…the NothingInCommon Cup?  The “Enemy of my Enemy is My Friend” Cup?
The rivalry should be called the “Who Dislikes TFC Most Cup.”  And the winner of the cup gets TFC as their home opener (and closer?) the following year.

20.  I predict that the Whitecaps will be in the Champions League this year.  Will we see you there?
I could easily see the Whitecaps there, but Columbus, will not be massive this year.

To recap:
Christmas was great
That is why I did not post last week
If it had sucked, you would have heard
Well, read, not so much “heard”
Next week I have a 20 Questions with an amazingly talented video graphics guy
It will be awesome
It really is a fun read
Happy 2013 everyone
Lets collectively make this year an awesome one
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 229 - Transportation Woes II, "This time it's personal..."

Well, that was a helluva Friday.  Gut wrenching Friday to be exact.  I think it may be time to put the tragic events in Connecticut in the rear view mirror and hope that significant action comes of the tragedy so it is significantly more difficult to happen again.  This blog is not about real stuff though.  It is about nonsense, so lets get with the nonsensing!

In continuation of last week’s topic of Transportation Woes, today’s topic is Transportation Woes II: The Revenge, “This time it’s personal…”  Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Ralph Harbison, John Petrisko, and Some Other Guy.

On to the questions:
1.  What is the worst transportation woe you have ever experienced?
Having to run from the International to the Domestic Terminal at the Newark Liberty International Airport in birkenstocks while carrying 2 40 lb bags and almost missing my flight to the ATL

2.  Oh, so it wasn’t when the ferry you were on had to go and rescue another ferry that had broken down and was drifting towards a rocky island with 400 people aboard?
This question seems oddly specific.

3.  Which is worse, to have a working car, but roads that are impossible to drive on because of snow and ice, or to have a perfectly good day for driving and a car that won’t start?
Worse is being trapped with a working car in un-driveable weather.  When it is nice out and your car doesn’t work, at least it is nice out.

4.  Better transportation movie: “Airplane,” “Planes Trains and Automobiles,” or “Rocketman?”
Hands down, Rocketman.  Harlan Williams is a comedic genius in that movie.  Since the Disney stuff is now on Netflix, I hope that Rocketman gets there…

5.  Who would win in a race, Bo and Luke Duke or the Bandit from Smokey and the Bandit?
Bo and Luke, they have exploding arrows.  ‘nuff said

6.  Why is the unicycle such an underrated mode of transportation?
I find that it is not underrated at all.  In fact, one could make the argument that it is over-rated as a mode of transportation and underrated as a form of sideshow buffoonery at Phish concerts.

7.  Would it be problematic to have rickshaws pulled by teams of little people? Would it be better if they were Asian Little people?
It would be problematic due to the short legs.  I am not sure Asian descendancy would help at all.

8.  Why must bicycle riders insist on wearing the absolute ugliest, least flattering outfits possible? Not the actual racers, mind you, but pretentious middle class, starbucks swilling mega-douches?
It is the modern equivalent to the 1970-1980 golf outfit.  It is how mega-douches roll.  They show you how much money they have by choosing to wear the most ridiculous looking clothing.  “I am so wealthy, I can wear this crap and STILL feel better about myself compared to you.”

9.  If you had a choice between a useable jet pack or teleportation being a reality which would you choose?
Teleportation, easily.

10.  In Pittsburgh I was relegated to public transportation for schooling (mainly the bus) have I had enough transportation woe?
Yes, I cannot imagine being in a bus in Pittsburgh.  The whole city drives like it is a high school parking lot.  Right-of-Way is determined by gruff looks and how crappy your car is.

11.  In reference to the above question, in Europe I loved public transportation why the difference?
Well, Europe has great public transportation infrastructure.  Typically the bus system has good headways and adequate coverage, and if there is a subway, metro rail system… all the better.

12.  Have you used public transportation in Columbus? Woe or no?
Only a few rare times.  

13.  When I was growing up we had a neighbor whose Chevy Vega literally split in half due to rusting. Is this worse than your current problem?
Significantly worse than my current transportation woes.

14.  Why didn’t the camel take off as a mode of transportation in the US West?
The spitting… horses don’t spit.

15.  Favorite mode of transportation?
I love flying, but I don’t get to do it often.

16.  Worst mode of transportation?
The back of a leprous nearsighted leatherback turtle with a sprained flipper.

17.  What is a stopping a horse on which you are riding?
Transportation Whoa?

18.  So the other day I was walking on the side of the street and a car flew past me going about 80 mph (128+ kph).  The car nearly hit me, and was easily within 9 inches of tagging me with the side-view mirror.  I hate the way that kind of near brush with a deadly moving object can cause the adrenaline flow to amp up without giving any ability to dissipate that kind of boost.  Not so much a question as a statement of “AAAAAGHHH, A CAR ALMOST HIT ME!!!!”
Okay… Take a breath and calm it down.  Simmer down, and punch a cloud or something.

19.  A passenger train leaves the train depot 2 hours after a freight train left the same depot. The freight train is traveling 20 mph slower than the passenger train. Find the rate of each train, if the passenger train overtakes the freight train in three hours.
The freight train is traveling 30 mph, and the passenger train is traveling 50 mph, and the trains have traveled 150 miles.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

20.   Monorail?  Did you say monorail?
You know, a town with money’s a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.


To recap:
The car woes are over
It was something to do with the alternator
Not the alternator proper, but a thingamajigger inside the alternator or associated with the alternator
Basically the repair was not $ or $$$, but merely $$
I need a haircut
I should prolly get one before the holiday
Sweet giblets and gravy, Christmas is next week!
Holy Crap!  The end of the world is Friday!
I will never get to see my presents
That’s a bummer
I have got to get my deviated septum fixed in my nose
Have to
It is going to be a good holiday this year
On another note I am carrying a 4.0 with 1/6th of my degree done
Woo freakin hoo!
Have a great weekend everyone  

20 Questions Tuesday: 228 - Transportation Woes

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Note:  That is not my car or anything associated with me. It is just an illustratory image

Yesterday I got up to go to work, just like everything was fine.  Did all the morning routine stuff and got into my car to go to my job and put in a full day’s work.  Little did I know that my car had other plans.  For yesterday my car decided that consistency was not job 1.  The engine was not able to regulate itself and the check engine light was flashing.  I came home and a co-worker was able to drive me to work.  Now the car is in the shop and we are awaiting the verdict.  The good news (if there is any) is that when we drove the car to the mechanic last night it was running significantly better than in my failed commute from that very morning.  The check engine light was a solid orange instead of a blinky orange.  

So today’s questions are about “Transportation Woes.”  I got tons of questions this week, so the topic will span over to next week.  This week thanks go to Brett Wood, Dave Nadolny, Chris Ring, and Wifey.

Onto the Questions:
1. Did you know that the check engine light can pop on just from not screwing on the gas cap tight enough?
I was not aware of that particular reason, but I was aware that the check engine light could come on for rather trivial matters…  That being said, my engine had a hard time operating yesterday morning.

2. Why is it technology advances so fast as we’ve seen in cell phones and computers and even in cars that parallel park themselves but for the longest time there has been no advancement in the way we get the car tires to spin only by using gasoline?
Because we hate dinosaurs so much that must burn them to move forward.  Suck It Dead Dinosaurs!  We are alpha on this rock now, and to prove it we are burning what is left of you!

3. When is it going to be like the Jetsons, you know with cars flying and all?
a)How cool would that be?
And b) at the same time if you had a Jetsons type of car and it stalled how uncool would that be?
I am not sure there will ever be flying cars.  Too dangerous.  Adding a 3rd dimension to people’s ability to travel will only end up in death and mayhem.  Imagine how much rage people build up right now or the stupid stuff people do in just 2 dimensions… Now add a level of complexity to THAT mix…
a) It would be super cool
b)That would be super un-cool

4.  In a post apocalyptic world, after the gasoline is gone, what will be the best transportation method available?
Wind…  The new age of sail, baby!  That and human power… or possibly ferrets.

5.  Is your work location on a bus route? If so, would you consider using the mass transit system?  For the environment? Please? Because you know I’m not gonna, I need someone else to pick up the slack.
My work place is indeed on a bus route… however the bus route is also next to a hobo-town, a meth stand, and a group of prostitutes that turn tricks for sweet and sour chicken.  If the mass transit system were more robust and not specifically on streets, I might entertain the idea of using the system… faster ability to get meth and cheapo prostitutes.

6.  How damn pampered are we here in the U.S. People driving their cars 2 blocks away instead of walking?
There are many ways that kids that U.S. People are pampered… the 2 block drive is just one of them.

7.  How much do the Feds take out of the gas tax we send to the Feds to redistribute?
All I know is that the gas tax funds where I work, so I will not talk disparagingly about it.  Yea, Gas tax!

8.  Should COTA (Central Ohio Transit Agency) be scaled back?
Yes and no.  Yes, because there is no significant amount of ridership, however one of the reasons there is no ridership is the cost of a pass (about the same as 1.5 tanks of gas a month) for unlimited rides in a month.  (I fill up around 2 times a month… and I have the convenience of driving when I want to and by myself.) Without a large ridership it is difficult to justify the routes, but one of the other reasons (other than the aforementioned cost) they are missing ridership is due to the inadequacy of the coverage of the existing routes as well as the frequency of that coverage.  To become a more attractive transit system they need to expand, but they cannot expand services without a huge ridership… catch 22. And I have not even begun to talk about income levels and transit dependency.  Some people have no option other than using the bus system. I could go on for days… I won’t, but I could…

9.  Potholes, discuss amongst yourselves, consider it an early holiday present.
They suck.

10.  Not transportation related, but do you have an ugly xmas sweater?  Going to any ugly sweater holiday parties this year?
Nope, I am ugly sweater-less… and happy about that.

11.  Do they actually teach that the left hand lane is a PASSING lane in Driver’s Ed anymore? because I don’t think so.
They don’t teach shit anymore… Back when we did Driver’s Ed we had to carry our cars on our backs and signal with our hands while running down the street without shoes, clearly with the faster runners on the left.

12.  Really? You’re going to turn in front of me when there’s no one for miles behind me and then go HALF my speed? Really?
But I have to be no-where… slowly.

13. Do you not know that small bar protruding from your steering column is your TURN signal?… because I’m guessing no.
I thought it was a polyp… I was going to have it biopsied.

14. Doesn’t Easy Pass Rock?
Dude, I live in Central Ohio, there aren’t toll roads here.  We don’t need no stinking tolls.

15. For a loooong trip I leave after midnight to avoid transportation woes like a plague, how ‘bout yourself?
We used to, when Little Man was really young, we would get him to sleep while driving like caffeine crazed banshees.

16.  We’re getting a minvan, aren’t we?  Dear god…  we’re getting a minivan.
I hope not, but prolly.  Let’s call it a ante-crossover.

17. How did this happen to us?  I mean, it’s a minivan.
2 kids with friends will do that to you.  We could get a conversion van and airbrush a wizard on the side. Mini-van doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?

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18.  When I was a kid and we had car troubles, my mom would make me be really quiet.  I think so she didn’t hit me.  Who do you wanna hit right now?
I steer away from anger and go more towards depression… car troubles make me sad.

19.  Also, I fell through the floor of our red maverick once on the highway…not hurt one bit.  Am I a superhero?
Yes, you are a super-hero, and I am oppositionally defiant.

20. Anticipating your answer as “no” because I know your level of negativity, what would a transportation superhero look like, then?
I am not sure, but I bet that hero would have a sweet-ass ride that had captains chairs in the middle row and possibly an airbrushed wizard in the side of the van… er ride.

and one to grow on
21.  Why are airplanes so scary?
Because they are flying closed petri dishes of filth and sickness.

To recap:
On deck for next week are Chris Corrigan, Ralph Harbison, JHP, and some other guy
Hopefully they are at least able to get the diagnostic done today so I can know what is wrong with my car
That would be nice
What would be even nicer is to know it was a false alarm
So many questions this time around
I feel like a king!
The King of Questions…
All must bow before the King of Questions!
So it shall be written, So it shall be done!
Have a great weekend everyone


20 Questions Tuesday: 227 - Illness

Well, that was an odd few weeks.  But I am feeling better-ish now, so don’t worry about this post being contagious.  I think that I am no longer viral… unless all of you make this post viral.  Boom, I could be a star!  So this week’s topic is “Illness”

Thanks this week go to Brett Wood, David Newbold, Lord Pithy, Chris Corrigan, and Lsig:

1.  Don’t you hate getting ill?
Boy Howdy!  I cannot stand it.

2.  Is there ever a good time to get ill?
What’s the time? It’s time to get ill. And what’s the time? It’s time to get ill. So what’s the time? It’s time to get ill. Now what’s the time? It’s time to get ill….

3.  Whats up with the word ill and 1990’s hip hop?
It is slang, baby!  Pure and simple slangy goodness.

4.  What’s your favorite illness?
Hmmm.. Favorite?  That I just ate too much feeling.  It goes away pretty fast and it is all about the gluttony.

5.  Which illness is the worst?
Auto-immune Deficiency Syndrome

6.  Is addiction really an illness?
I would say it is more of a sickness, a wrongness within the steady state of the system.  I define the difference between illness and sickness in Question 18… keep reading.

7.  What’s a real illness that you think is fake, why?
I have a hard time understanding Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I feel like it is a catch all term that is more associated with the symptoms than the underlying problem/illness.

8.  If you were mortally ill and had everything taken care of.  How would you spend your time?
I am a sap, I would spend it with my family.  Probably farting a ton just to make them even more uncomfortable.

9. If they are starving, Some people would split their last meal with their pet.  Some peoples last meal would be their pet.  This isn’t about illness but i’d eat the pet.
Hear! hear!  I would eat the family pet.  Hell, there are some cousins I would chew on before the pet was gone.

10.  To get out of what situation would you say it’s not only permissible, but actually a person’s responsibility, to feign an illness?
Accidental pooping in the pants…  That wasn’t just a fart… I must be ill.

11.  Vomit, or suffer with the upset stomach?
Vomit… everyday, all day… well, if you aren’t feeling well.

12.  What is your favorite symptom?
Tired.

13.  Have you ever suffered the rockinpneumonia or the boogiewoogieflu?
Nope, but I have had a mild case of the Hip Hop Coughs

14.  Finish this sentence: I am sick of ___!
Working.

15.  What is the worst illness you have self-inflicted?
There was this night in college…

16.  Was there ever a time when everyone in your house was NOT ill together?
There was one day… back in 2008

17.  What can I do to get you Canadian citizenship and a health card?
I need a job.  I need a job to get there… Not sure I would be allowed to immigrate without gainful employment.

18.  Is there a difference between illness and sickness?
Yes, sickness can be without a germ or virus, whereas illness requires an outside pathogen to enact ickiness.  Sickness can be triggered by eating too much and then having strange motions happen.  That incurs some vomit, but you are not ill, just sick.  Make sense?

19.  Who is the worst patient in your family?
Um… I would say Zane.  I love that boy to death, but he will not let himself sleep when he is ill.  The body wants you to sleep so it can get better.

20.  Sick days: you feel horrible but you don’t have to go to work. Net gain or loss?
I think it is a mixed bag, to be sure.  The issue is that , yes, you do not have to go into work, but you also feel the time at home slipping away due to the illness.  

To recap:
I think we are all pretty much better
Well, except for me and the wife
We are still recovering
Stupid illnes
Saw Maj McArmypants over the Thanksgiving Holiday
Good seeing him again
Dr B-Dawg welcomed his second kid into the world
We are so crazy happy about his family addition
Almost done with Semester 1 of the new grad degree
Anyone want to hire me now?
Please…
Have a great weekend everyone!




20 Questions Tuesday: 226 - Day Off


Yesterday was Veteran’s Day here in the States and that means it was a holiday for state and federal workers around the land… but not for many private sector people. SO  I had the day off, but the people I would enjoy hanging out with did not, and therefore it was a lonely day from me and my thoughts and a sandwich.  I used the day to pick up a wiped hard-drive that lost 4 years of data and maps, graphics, digital art, program purchase numbers, portfolios, resumes, etc… I might buy a gun, wait seven days, pick up the gun, shoot the hard-drive using my hate and anger to fuel my accuracy, and then return the gun.  I might.  Instead I got a cheese steak and ate it by myself… friendless and dataless.

This week, thanks go out to Nadolny, Chris Ring, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions!

1.  How stupid did I feel going to work yesterday and seeing no one there?
Aside from getting caught on the video feed, no one has to know…. and the official answer is no stupider than usual.

2. Do you think that these extra days government workers get off should be revoked?
I would like for them to be re-distributed.  Either Columbus Day or Veteran’s Day should be traded out for the day after Thanksgiving… and no, I don’t think government workers get too many days off.  I took a pretty considerable hit in my pay-rate for better vacation, sick time, holidays, and other benes.  You want to start taking these amenities away?  Compensate me better, dawg.  Compensate me. Yo.

3.  On your “Day Off” if you jumped onto a float in a parade and lip synced your signature song with the crowd, what would it be?
Sober by Tool

4. If you boosted a bitchin’ car on your day off, what would it be?
The Bat-Mobile… Definitely the Bat-Mobile.

5.  I took a day off last Friday to help people in NJ get resettled in a new place in the aftermath of Sandy, how else can people help those affected?
Firstly, Stay the Hell away, unless you NEED to be there.  Secondly, go to Occupy Sandy and see what you can do.

6.  If you take a “mental health” day, do you prefer company or to fly solo for the day?
For a mental health day, I would rather fly solo… Holiday, have lunch with someone.

7.  Favorite day off activity?
Napping.  It has to be napping. Ooh, I love the napping.

8.  Have you ever used “Sick Time” for a “Mental Health Day?”
Nope, I either use either vacation or personal days for that.

9.  Thanksgiving is next week, how many days off will you be using?
Wednesday through Friday, so 3 days total.  One is a Holiday so I only have to use, at most 16 hours of vacation.  Wooo-hooo.  I have a meeting 2 hours away on Tuesday of next week, so I might not have to take all 16 hours.

10.  “Day Off” is different than “Off Day” with just one little change in the order of the words.  Why is that?
Well “day off” is where you do not have to work while “off day” is a day where nothing is working right.  Similar meanings, yet significantly different in causality.

11.  Are any days off actually productive?
Not in the least.  Yesterday was a wash, by that I mean I did not take a shower yesterday.

12.  Are there any other day off movies other than “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”
Not that I can think of.  There are a bunch of movies that could be watched on a day off… guiltily watched, but Ferris is the only movie I can think of for someone’s “Day Off.”

13.  How long until you got out of your pajamas on the day off?
I had to get the kids to their respective educational institutions by 8 in the morning, so I was dressed by 7:30… booo.

14.  So, is a typical work day a “Day On?”
Well, I would not say “on.” That implies/infers that I am actually “on” whilst at work. Coasting is more like it.

15.  Day-o, day-o,
      Daylight come and me wan’ go home
      Day, day, me say day, me say day, me say day Me say day, me say day-o
      Daylight come and me wan’ go home
So, “Day-o” is similar to “day off.”  Not so much a question as a statement.
Umm… yeah, sure thing. Well said? I am not sure how to respond to this.


16.  Who has a better day off? Zoo keeper or bee keeper?
Bee-Keeper.  Not having to get into the bee-keeper get-up makes it more of a day off. Although not having to deal with animal poop makes for a good day off as well, but I still stay with bee-keeper.

17.  For people without a job, is a day off going to a place of employment for a day, right?
I think that is a misunderstanding. A “day off” is just a day where you do not have to do your normal tasks.  If you are working, it is a day away from your job.  If you are unemployed, it is a day away from looking for a job.  When I was unemployed, I really did consistently try to find a job.  It did pretty much become a full time job.  A job that I did not get paid to do.

18.  How much time do you spend just wasting away time on your “day off?”
Ummm, how about 22 hours of the 24 hours that make up a day.

19.  Did you draw anything on your day off?
Nope, I really did absolutely nothing of consequence.  Sunday I had a large quantity of homework due for the classes, and I really just took Monday off.  Up to 3 AM on Sat, and turned in the homework on Sunday at 11:15 PM.  ergo, doing absolute shit on Monday.

20.  Does anyone ever truly have a “day off” when they are a parent?
Hells yes!  I spent most of yesterday sans childrens.  That is why it was a day off.

To recap:
Might get a pistola and perforate the hard drive that killed all my data
Stupid failing hard drives
I do have to say that I feel relatively lucky about it though
I have had computers since 1997 and this was the first hard drive failure
I guess that is a pretty good track record
I shouldn’t complain too much
I was the one not backing up my data
Back up your data , ladies and gentlemen
I might invest in some Carbonite to back this shit up
The wife gets back in town Wednesday night
That will be teh awesome
Next week is a holiday week, so that is cool
Many more days off
I love days off
Have a great weekend everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 225 - Recovery

So last week was a hurricane, and this week is the beginning of the recovery… Oh, you may have thought with this being Tuesday November 6, 2012, that the topic should be “Voting,” “Votes,” or “Elections” or some such crap, but I live in Ohio and I am rather tired of all things election.  I would love it if all Ohioans would abstain from voting and just let the country twist in the wind for pestering us so much, but at least one damn fool would vote and that opinion would stand for the entirety of the state and, honestly, that would not work.  So anyway… this week’s topic is about the Recovery.  Don’t forget Cuba peeps, don’t forget Cuba. Sandy tagged Cuba really hard.

Thanks this week go to Ralph “Yesterday was his Birthday” Harbison, and Chris “My mom’s house blew away and I did not ask a question about that” Ring, some other guy, and my lovely Wife.  Onto the questions!

1.  What is “covery” in the first place?
Covery is a normal state.  If one is not recovering, one is covering… much like bases.

2.  Is making the bed “recovery?”
It depends if all of the covers were completely removed. If you are tidying up the bed from a night of “sleeping” (you randy dog, you) and the covers were not thrown on the floor (You Animal, You), it is not recovery.  If you have removed all the covers, then when you are remaking the bed, you are in the process of “recovery” (you Beast).

3.  Is there “anticovery?”
That is called a hurricane (a Hurricane in bed, am I right? eh? eh?)

4.  Is discovery the opposite of cover and/or recovery?
Yes. Because discovery is changing the normal state of “covery.”

5.  Why must we build it “better than it was before” if before didn’t suck?
It is always better to build it better… not saying one should tear it down to build it better, but if it is already down, build it better.

6.  How come my muscles don’t recover like they used to?
Because you are old… much like me.

7.  What is your time tested method for recovering from a hang-over?
Not drinking

8.  What is your time tested method for recovering from a broken heart?
Sadly, the only thing is time.  Time and revenge played out in the long con.  Cold cruel slow and complete revenge.

9.  Has your wife recovered from her marathon yet?
Yep, she was better within 3 days.  She is a bad-ass.

10.  Have you recovered from Sunday’s “Walking Dead” episode yet?
I am sure this is blasphemy, but I don’t watch “The Walking Dead.”  But I have heard that the spoilers from the most recent episode were pretty intense.  Nobody is safe on that show.

11.  The “Recovery Room” in hospitals is all about coming out of anesthesia… so is “covery” having your ass knocked out?
I like that definition better.

12.  Good d-backs are known for having good “recovery” speed.  Wouldn’t they be better if they didn’t have to use their “recovery” speed?
They should have better “covery” skills/speed and not have to tap into the “recovery” speed.

13.  How long until NYC has a full recovery from the effect of Sandy?
2 years to pre-Sandy settings provided that nothing else hits.

14.  Are you recovering from anything?
My inactive 30’s.  I have got to lose weight and get into better shape.

15.  How long does it take for your memory foam pillow to “recover?”
Are you saying I have a fat, heavy head?  Is that what you are doing?  I will not abide this kind of abuse!  about 20 seconds.

16.  Recovery sports drinks: myth, fact, bunk, or good idea?
Gonna go with fact and good idea.  Hydration is good for you and replenishing electrolytes is pretty good.  I am sure there are better/more effective methods to recover from a difficult exercise session, but I bet those don’t come in awesome day-glow colors and in a plastic bottle.

17.  If the “Road to Hell” is paved with good intentions, what is the “Road to Recovery” paved with?
Evil, vile, crusty intentions.

18.  Eminem has an album called “Recovery.”  Other than drugs, alcohol, and sex, what does Eminem need to recover from?
He really hates the womens.  Maybe he needs to recover from his hatred of the womens.

19.  What is the worst thing you have ever had to recover from?
Migranes.  I have not had one in a while, but they are a serious pain to deal with.

20.  Do you have anything you hope to recover from?
My addiction to the Green Mistress….  I need to kick the caffeine and sugar addition that is going on there.

To recap:
I voted today
Now I hope people shut the hell up about this election
I voted and all I got was a crappy sticker
The campaigns collectively spent $192,275,664 just in Ohio for this election
There are 11.5 million people in Ohio
They could have bought everyone in the state a gourmet pizza instead
I would have rather had the gourmet pizza
mmmmm pizza
I have so much work to do this evening
By “work” I mean reading
Then I have so much work to do tomorrow and Thursday
This school stuff takes effort
The wife is heading out of town on Thursday
Only to return on the following Thursday
Anyone wanna rent a kid for a week?
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 224 - Empathy

This week has had a hurricane hit a few major cities on the eastern seaboard… There is flooding everywhere, and as many people say, “Our hearts go out to those people.”  That, my friends, is called “Empathy.”  Ergo today’s topic of empathy.  

Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Brett Wood, Steev, and some other guy… Ton Tonners represent!  On to the questions!

1.  Empathy is very under used due to people just using sympathy (perhaps incorrectly?) in most cases do you think the word will die out from our vocabulary or at least our spoken vocabulary?
Empathy is a nuanced word.  I do not think that it will drop from modern vernacular because of the nuanced meaning.  Empathy is something different than sympathy.  Empathy is feeling like, while Sympathy is feeling for.

2.  To whom do you frequently empathize?
My kids, mainly because they do not know how to have feelings correctly, and need me to model correct emotions for them.  For example, I show them how to assimilate the emotion of apathy when they encounter anything… anything at all.

3.  Do you empathize or sympathize when you aerobicize?
You have a false question because you are assuming my tubby self aerobicizes.  

4.  What % of Americans do you think Mitt Romney can empathize with?
Not many, it is not as cliche but I would say prolly the top 3%, and he has to stretch his faculties to do that.

5.  What % of Americans do you think The President can empathize with?
I would say most, but there are portions of the country he can’t.  I would say about 70% or so.

6.  Any links between telepathy and empathy?
There are potentially some.  There is the possibility that to be truly telepathic one must understand how someone feels at their core in response to different situations.

7.  How much empathy do you think you have?
I think I can be fairly empathetic, but I typically hold that shit at bay.  The world is a hurting place that can be cold and cruel, and I need to survive.  So, if I allow myself to be empathetic only on rare and uncontrolled occasions.

8.  Do we need more empathy in the world or less?
We need more empathy, definitely.   

9.  What types of people in the world would you say lack empathy?
Entitled pricks and psychopaths.

10.  Mother Teresa, now she had a boat load of empathy am I right?
Shit tons.. the woman was made of empathy and water.  She was a bag of empathetic bones and water.

11.  Empathy is an instant messaging (IM) and voice over IP (VoIP) client which supports text, voice, video, file transfers, and inter-application communication over various IM protocols. It was developed by Guillaume Desmottes and Xavier Claessens, who are both Frenchmen. What do you call a quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Le Royal Cheese… I would think it would be Le Grand Burger avec Fromage… mmmmm Le Grand Burger…. avec les cornichons et les oignons miniscules… mmmmmmm

12. Empathy is a 1962 album by jazz musicians Bill Evans and Shelly Manne. The album had six tracks and absolutely none of the songs were written by either one of these yahoos. How is that any different than painting a copy of the Mona Lisa and then selling it as your own?
Well, the fact that you are aware that the aforementioned jazz musicians did not write the music means that there is some kind of attribution indicating who the actual composers for the pieces are.  The analogy would be if someone painted the Mona Lisa and tried to sell it as “The Mona Lisa, after da Vinci.”

13. Linguistic empathy is the phenomenon where the speaker shows sympathy or point of view through sentence structure. There are a lot of structures in Washington where people speak their points of view. I’m not sure who is the current Speaker of the House is. I wouldn’t mind having some BOSE speakers for my house. Do you think they’re overpriced?
I do think that BOSE speakers are overpriced, but I am not quite an audiophile.  I do not find offense at relatively bad sound system.  If you have a really good ear and find minor tonal variation to be offensive… there are better equipment than BOSE that can be purchased with better audiophonic capabilities.  heh… audiophonic… never thought I would use the word audiophonic.

14.  The Gashlycrumb Tinies is an abecedarian book written by Edward Gorey that was first published in 1963. Gorey tells the tale of 26 children (each representing a letter of the alphabet) and their untimely deaths in rhyming dactylic couplets, accompanied by the author’s distinctive black and white illustrations. What are the names that would accompany the letters in “empathy”?
Emily, Mike, Penelope, Angmar the Mighty, Ted, Harold, Yevginey

15. Would the fact that I find the previous question ironically hilarious make me unempathetic?
Well, not that by itself… It is kind of weaksauce as far as making someone unempathetic by itself. There is a whole host of other reasons for people to consider you unempathetic.

16.  Counselor Troi in STNG was an empath… was her “power” completely useless, or what?
Good lord!  She could always tell that Riker was horny and that “Something is uncomfortable” or “They feel confused.”  “I sense unease…” Damn half Betazoids and their GeeDee useless empathy.

17.  Empathy shmempathy, that’s what I say.
Damn straight, you know it.  Empathy can suck it.

18.  Empathetic sounds a bunch like pathetic… why is that?
Well, empathetic is a combination of the words “empty” and “pathetic,” so you can draw your own conclusions there… pathetic empty losers.

19. Come up with a definition of Impathetic… Do it!
The state of being an ineffective imp.  An Imp who is incapable of causing mishief and mayhem.  At best they can produce a sense of ennui.

20.  If you find someone who is empathetic, can you make that empathetical person take on your uncomfortable feelings and then not have to deal with those encumbering things yourself?
I sure as hell hope so, what is the point of having empathetic “friends?”

To recap:
It has gotten cold here
Good luck East Coast peoples and Great Lakes peoples
Get some power
Halloween is tomorrow
I imagine you were expecting this to be a Halloween post
I don’t roll like that
I come at you from a different direction
Boom!
That’s how I do that
The kids are being Star Wars the Clone Wars characters and a Disney princess as a fairly (or a unicorn {the girl is fickle})
I have a nasty head ache
Advil will be be taken soonlike
That is about all I have from here
Have a safe and great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 223 - Accomplishments

So, the wife ran the marathon like a boss on Sunday. She “PR’d” as they say in running circles, by getting a Personal Record… PR makes sense now, doesn’t it. She came in at 4:32.07 and was passing people like crazy for the final 6 miles.  She is amazing and this is quite an accomplishment… which leads to today’s topic of “Accomplishment!”  Now, accomplishments can take on the form of many things.  They are quiet things, internal and personal things that no one else knows about and then there is jumping out of a helium balloon from the edge of space*.  Both are accomplishments and both are to be lauded.  Therefore today’s topic is “Accomplishment!”  

Thanks go to my wife, lsig, Chris Corrigan, Dr B Dawg, Dave Newbold, and Kelly. On to the questions!

1.  Why is accomplishment so often tied to money?
Because many people need to quantify just how accomplished an accomplishment is.  Monetary compensation is just one way of creating a metric.

2.  Related:  what is the accomplishment you have made that only made you happy inside but mattered to no one else?
I won a Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge.  That means a bunch to me because there is some crazy talent there.

3.  What do you hope our kids accomplish in life?
Allowing us to retire in luxury.

4.  Some folks talk about a fait accompli - why do folks have to use french instead of saying “done deal” are they snobby or something?
Snobbiness is quite the accomplishment, and nothing, other than quoting Vonnegut is quite as snobby as smashing French sayings into colloquial American conversations.

5.  Why do people say that their kids are their greatest accomplishment?  Because, really, we all know it’s a crapshoot after the sperm meets the egg…you can try and try and try and they will still grow up to be who they are supposed to be no matter what you do?
There is the whole nurture argument, but that happens waaay after the whole birthing process, and most people claim that particular accomplishment the moment the infant meets the world.  I don’t get it either.

6.  What is your own best accomplishment?
Hmmmm… I knew this question was coming the moment I came up with the topic, and I have been trying to figure out an answer.  My best accomplishment is that I have really taken very strong actions to not repeat my family patterns and deal with the mental health issues that come with being part of any family.

7.  Do you ever feel like the accomplishments of your friends and family are a silent indictment of your  own lack thereof? Or is that just me?
Sometimes I do and sometimes I bask in the light spilling off friends and family due to their accomplishments.

8.  What “to-do”s are you going to accomplish today?
Write blog: Check
Go to work: Check
Make some dinner:
Do some reading for class:
Watch an introductory lecture:

9.  Is it better to have small goals and accomplish them, or big soaring goals that you may never reach?
Yes, both are better.  I think the long reaching “Big Soaring Goals” should be comprised of “Small Goals” that helps you accomplish them.  It is very much the gamification of accomplishment.  Small steps that lead to large leaps.

10.  How do you keep a balance between accomplishment and progress, because let’s face it, unlike a marathon, life has few actual finish lines?
Again, it goes to gamification.  Small attainable goals that inform a direction for progress.  Much like role playing games, it is all about leveling up and moving forward.  The progress informs the direction of future progress, but that progress is built upon small accomplishments that keep things “progressing.”

11.  How many five-letter words can you make out of accomplishment? I stopped at 90 because of a hand cramp. And since I used all of my allotted question writing time in writing these words, this is my question. So, enjoy.
Wow, there are soo many words… so  many.  You know I have a job, two kids, going to school full-time, have some contract work on the side.. I really don’t have the time to find more than 90 5-letter anagrams using the word “Accomplishment.”

12.  What’s a bigger accomplishment- running a marathon or losing 30lbs?
Gonna say running a marathon, because it is very easy to re-gain the weight, however, once you have run the marathon, no one can take that accomplishment away from you.

13.  Is it an accomplishment to eat an entire 18” pizza by yourself?
Yep.  14 inch? Nope.

14.  If you have 7 beers and then 3 shots of moonshine is it an accomplishment to not get a DUI when the cop pulls you over and says he can smell alcohol?
Drunk driving is never an accomplishment, it is, at best a lucky fluke of fortune if it does not end up tragic.

15.  I considering filling a sketchbook a huge accomplishment but nobody ever acknowledges it. Do you have secret accomplishments that mean alot to you but little or nothing to others even if they knew?
Sketchbooks are a great accomplishments and should be lauded.  As far as a “secret accomplishment?” Hmmm… I am trying to cover my work space with small sketches.



16.  Have ever accomplished something that seemed really important before and then almost worthless afterwards?
Most accomplishments as a kid end up feeling worthless afterward.  Saving a crap-ton of money for a mint edition comic book that is now, technically worthless.

17.  What is a better accomplishment: running a marathon to the very last mile  or keeping it going, keeping  it going full steam?
Too sweet to be sour too nice to be mean.  Gonna go with Keep it going, Keep it goin full steam.

18.  What is your favorite accomplishment?
Ever? When Grog the wise created the wheel.  Well-done, Grog.  Well-done, indeed.

19.  Some people think their kids are their best accomplishment, but where’s the fun in that?
There is no fun in that.  Get some originality people.

20.  Nobel prize in physics or peace?
I would take either, but I have a better chance of peace over physics because, well… I am not super well versed in physics now.

To recap:
I am super tired
Not like a monster truck though
That is a different kind of super tired
Which is different than super tiered
That is more like a badass wedding cake
Tiered, Baby!
Here is the wife in the corral waiting to start the run
The marathon was crazy foggy for about an hour and a half
This group were some of the elites of the marathon
You can’t really see them
Here she is at mile 13
Here she is at mile 24
She is a badass
Have a great weekend

*Not really the edge of space, it was about 25 miles up and space is not defined until 60 miles up 

20 Questions Tuesday: 222 - Marathon

This week, on Sunday, the wife will run in her second marathon.  This will be the second time she will be participating in the Nationwide Columbus Marathon, but the first time she will be doing the full in Columbus.  Last year she did the half for the Columbus Marathon, and then followed that up this February by completing the LIVESTRONG Austin Marathon.  She is a badass and deserves your praise.  Anyway.. with the marathon looming on Sunday, today’s questions are all about “Marathon.”

Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, steev, Icy Yellow, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions:

1. Whatever happened to the marathon candy bar?
They “ran out of it.”  Get it?  Marathon… run… get it?  I slay me!

2. I hope she kicks Paul Ryan’s ass … ok, that’s not really a question but it needed to be said.
Sadly she will not be kicking Ryan’s ass, a sub-two is not in her future… that is what he said he did, right?

3. Does she have a certain goal? … I mean besides kicking Paul Ryan’s ass.
She has a time goal in mind, but more than anything, she is hoping for a good strong race that does not kick her ass.

4. Will she be wearing a wonder woman costume? (it’s almost Halloween)
That is for me and me alone.  No one gets to see her in the Wonder Woman costume, but me.

5. Has her cheering section trained for this event as well?
Her cheering section will be selecting multiple points of cheering, but knowing the route will help- with that.  That and there is a good possibility that there will be multiple cheering units.  When she did the Austin, my friend Brian and I were able to cheer her on at mile 9, mile 15, mile 20, mile 24, and I was able to watch her cross the finish.  I hope to see her 3 times on the course and at the finish.  There may be other people cheering her on as well.

6. “Marathon Man” was a novel written by William Goldman. He also wrote “The Princess Bride”. Do you think Andre the Giant could have ever run 26 miles?
Nope, his growth condition deteriorated his bones so much, that in the filming of The Princess Bride, his back hurt so much that he was in constant debilitating pain.

7. There used to be a candy bar called the “Marathon Bar”. What made it’s packaging unique?
The ruler on the inside of the packaging… So many people could not measure up to the packaging’s expectations..

8. Finish this joke: Why hasn’t Hyundai ever named one of their cars the Marathon?
To get to the other side?  I clearly don’t understand how this works.

9. “Marathon” is a song by Rush from their Power Windows album. Do you think Neil Peart is an overrated drummer?
I think drummers are often both over- and under-rated.  I am not a Rush fan, so I am unqualified to make this determination.

10. In the 10th season of Law and Order there is an episode titled “Marathon”. It is about a fatal purse snatching and stars Sam Watterson. Sam Watterson also starred in the film Capricorn One, a film about NASA faking the moon landing. NASA is funded by the Federal government and accounts for about 1% of the budget. PBS also receives government funding at about .00014% of the Federal budget. That being said, is it any wonder why Oscar lives in a garbage can?
Nope, it is clear.  Oscar loves trash, infact, he sings a song about it near continually.  For a grouch, he sings a shit-ton.

11.  Wouldn’t Marathons be better if you could do them inside a giant hamster ball? Run into shit along the way…
I think the downhill portions could be both “fun” and “extremely interesting.”  Other than that I  cannot imagine 17,000 hamster balls running through the streets of Columbus… but now I want to imagine that.

12.  Will she be carb loading the night before the race?
That is a very good possibility, in fact I will go out on a limb and say, Yes, we will have some kind of pasta on Saturday.  Will there be sauce? Of course.  Will it be a red sauce or a garlic sauce or a white wine sauce?  That is still to be determined.

13.  Do you need to be in any special shape to watch a marathon?
Well, to view the marathon from multiple points, it requires moving rather quickly from points A to B to C to the end of the race.  Do you need to be as in shape as the runners?  Of course not.  Don’t be silly.

14.  Didn’t you start running?  How did that go?
Well, I ran 5k and then stopped running promptly.  Should I run again?  You betcha, I have been allowing life to keep me from running.  Stoopid life and getting in the way of my fitness.  I need to go eat a cookie now.

15.  So how long has the wife been training for this Marathon?
She started this summer and has been consistently running all summer and fall.  It will be a welcome change to have her not training.  Training tacks a bunch of time.

16.  Do you ever want to run a marathon?
Hells no.  I might work my way up to a half eventually, but a marathon does not seem that reasonable to me.

17.  Have you ever participated in anything that had “Marathon” in the beginning of the title?
Officially?  Nope.  Unofficially? Sure there have been some “marathon” gaming sessions playing Civilization II and III and IV.  Hours upon hours of playing Civ, World of Warcraft, etc… However, I have not been able to do that lately.  Too busy to play games at the moment.

18.  What goes on after the Marathon for recovery?
is there any way to answer this question by asking a question and then answering it?  Yes there is.  An ice bath is a requirement for post marathoning.  That and lots of rest and tons of ibuprofen, the wife should be done with her soreness by the middle of next week.

19.  Do you think your wife will want to do more marathons?
Yep, I think she wants to do 1 a year and possibly a ½ marathon a year as well.  She really enjoys this stuff.

20.  Was this a marathon of questions?
Not especially.

To recap:
To recap:
I am 1/12th done with this degree
By January I will be 1/6th done
That is a good thing
It is going really well
The next class will include much more sketching
That is a good thing
Her number for the race is 4862
I think there is some level of race tracking that you can do if you want
It is Sunday morning and starts in the morning
Track it… just fiddle through the race website to find tracking
You need to
Donate if you wanna
Waaaaaay down on the left
Have a great weekend
I will post pics next week