Oh, goodness where to start. Well, firstly I will give a quick update on Little Man. I have too many friends who read this thing, not to give an update from the get go. Little Man is doing pretty well. The Orapred is coursing through his veins and he is absolutely beside himself. By that I mean he is vibrating at a high enough frequency so he actually appears to be in 2 places at once. The Picard Maneuver, if you will. Good Lord, I am a geek. Ah, Orapred , I have missed you so.
So onto today’s topic.
In the long list of things that I hate, one thing has reared its ugly head more recently than many of the other virulent hates that I have in my life. I hate people who drive drunk. I hate people who think they are funnier than they are. I hate many things, but one of the things that I hate with the fire of a thousand suns, almost more than the phantom snotter of our bathroom (but not quite), is the God-Awful voice that is inflicted upon my by the voice actor for Winnie the Pooh. It is worse than nails on the chalkboard for me. Nothing makes my spine revolt like hearing the Pooh incessantly jabber on about Christopher Robin., or his quaintly misspelled “hunny,” or about Piglet, or Tigger, or even if he were reading the telephone book. Just SHUT THE HELL UP POOH, NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!! YOU THINK EEYORE’S YOUR FRIEND, DO YA? YOU THINK OWL LIKE BEING AROUND YOU? Ummm… anyway…
That voice, that scratchy, whiney, sandpaper voice, sends me into a murderous rage. It is a primal instinctual rage. A rage where I am attempting to make the voice stop by killing everything until it goes away. Luckily the voices in my head do not sound like that bear, or I would have silenced them long ago. FYI: the voices in my head tend to sound like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, freaky huh?
Anyway… I hope the mostly decomposed undead zombie corpse of A. A. Milne is slowly but sure making his way to Playhouse Disney’s production studios so he can eat the brains of whoever decided that back to back pooh shows is a good idea. That is the reason I re-animated him, I hope he is on mission, and not just eating brains in Cornwall. Anyway… Sure one of the shows is animated and the other is poorly puppeteered, but that is beside the point. The point is that the voice is one that no one should be exposed to for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I did mention murderous rage, correct? (Initially I mistyped “murderous” as “murderopus” which I can only think is an octopus with a mission.)
I cannot wait until Little Man wants to see some Winnie the Pooh piece of crap movie. Oh the rant he will hear. Maybe Wifey will take one for the team and see the movie with him while I curl up into the fetal position weeping and hoping never to hear Pooh’s voice again.
To recap:
Little Man is vibrating
I HATE Winnie the Pooh’s voice
I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns
It is not a cold hate, like what I have for the creators of Small Wonder
Oh, they will pay for their crimes against humanity
They will pay
So onto today’s topic.
In the long list of things that I hate, one thing has reared its ugly head more recently than many of the other virulent hates that I have in my life. I hate people who drive drunk. I hate people who think they are funnier than they are. I hate many things, but one of the things that I hate with the fire of a thousand suns, almost more than the phantom snotter of our bathroom (but not quite), is the God-Awful voice that is inflicted upon my by the voice actor for Winnie the Pooh. It is worse than nails on the chalkboard for me. Nothing makes my spine revolt like hearing the Pooh incessantly jabber on about Christopher Robin., or his quaintly misspelled “hunny,” or about Piglet, or Tigger, or even if he were reading the telephone book. Just SHUT THE HELL UP POOH, NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!! YOU THINK EEYORE’S YOUR FRIEND, DO YA? YOU THINK OWL LIKE BEING AROUND YOU? Ummm… anyway…
That voice, that scratchy, whiney, sandpaper voice, sends me into a murderous rage. It is a primal instinctual rage. A rage where I am attempting to make the voice stop by killing everything until it goes away. Luckily the voices in my head do not sound like that bear, or I would have silenced them long ago. FYI: the voices in my head tend to sound like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, freaky huh?
Anyway… I hope the mostly decomposed undead zombie corpse of A. A. Milne is slowly but sure making his way to Playhouse Disney’s production studios so he can eat the brains of whoever decided that back to back pooh shows is a good idea. That is the reason I re-animated him, I hope he is on mission, and not just eating brains in Cornwall. Anyway… Sure one of the shows is animated and the other is poorly puppeteered, but that is beside the point. The point is that the voice is one that no one should be exposed to for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I did mention murderous rage, correct? (Initially I mistyped “murderous” as “murderopus” which I can only think is an octopus with a mission.)
I cannot wait until Little Man wants to see some Winnie the Pooh piece of crap movie. Oh the rant he will hear. Maybe Wifey will take one for the team and see the movie with him while I curl up into the fetal position weeping and hoping never to hear Pooh’s voice again.
To recap:
Little Man is vibrating
I HATE Winnie the Pooh’s voice
I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns
It is not a cold hate, like what I have for the creators of Small Wonder
Oh, they will pay for their crimes against humanity
They will pay