2 Things

Three things:

Thing the first: It is Wifey’s birthday today, so if you have not already expressed birthday wishes to her, please do so now. She loves her some comments. That being said, if you leave her a birthday wish, leave a comment here as well, for I too love the comments. For her birthday Little Man got her a blender so she can make her “smoothbies.” I am not sure why the extra “b” is added, but it is, so you have to kind of deal with it and move on. He was very excited to get her a present for the birthday. So excited that he was chomping at the bit to drag his sick self (more on this later*) to “The Target Store” for the birthday present buying trip. He made me buy a purple motif-ed wrapping paper because he wanted to give her a “purple present.” He is particular like that. She really likes the new blender, and I am sure that many a smoothie will be constructed with it.

I got her a Japanese Steakhouse dinner, a night of shopping, and some kitchen shears used in making chopped salads more chopped salady-er. She has yet to use the shears, but enthused to do so. I am sure that salad will be on the menu this week. She got herself a present, but it has not come in as of yet, so I will not spoil any surprise there.

Thing the second: Or *later: Yes, Little Man is ailing again and therefore on the Orapred. On Thursday he was a bit snotty, Friday he was in the throws of a cold, and on Saturday is breathing went south. So, we are on Orapred again. It is not soooo bad as it has been because the dosage is relatively the same as when he was a 20 pounder. He has more than a 3 rd more body mass to spread the Orapred side effects around in. He is still ouchy and grouchy and quick to unhappiness, but he is not nearly as nutso as he was when the stuff really whacked him out of his mind. He will be riding the Orapred highs and lows until Thursday morning when it all comes crashing down.

Thing the third: I only have 2.

To recap:
Much sleep was lost Saturday
I am tired of giving breathing treatments
Little Man is really tired of getting them
Orapred tastes horrible
It is the aftertaste that gets you
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday is the continuation of Sound

Pants

Start Meta-posting -->
I came up with a great idea for a post this weekend. It was super great really, but it involved me getting pictures of Little Man in some very specific legwear (not chaps you sickos, and not “not chaps” for you even more sickos). Alas and alack, the camera was uncharged and the laundry was undone, so the post- with real pictures- is not to be. So without further ado… the post that would have been better with a real pic, but I doctored some up to prove the point. <-- End Meta Posting

While looking through the laundry this weekend, or sorting it, if you will, I noticed that there are many similarities in our respective wardrobes. We have similar shorts. We have some similar shirts. He has waaay more dinosaur shirts than I do though. The thing that really was noticeable though was the preponderance of red pants that Little Man owns. He has at least 4 pairs of red pants. I have none. I am quite okay with not owning any red leg wear though because I realized something upon noticing this dearth of red pants in my wardrobe. Red pants are not acceptable leg attire for men. I am not sure where the age break is for the red pant rule, but there is clearly a red pant age rule.

On kids, red pants are cool. Some women can get away with wearing red pants. Men can’t. I can live with that. I prove my point below.

Cool: Look at how happy free and fun Little Man is in his stunning red pants. He is carefree and fancy free as he jogs on a friend's couch.

Uncool: I look like I am wearing parachute pants circa 1983. I would clearly be uncomfortable in this gawdy attire. My belly is all bloated circa 2006-2007 though. Get to the gym, Tubby!

To recap:
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about color
I have a presentation tomorrow
It is only half done
I really need to get moving on it
I have 2 active projects right now
I have a presentation tomorrow
I have an artistic cartography portfolio to get together
I have some other art I need to finalize
I have waaaaay too much on my plate right now
My days need to be 36 hours this week
They are still only 24 hours long
No matter how much I push and pull them
Most colored pants are taboo for men unless they are participating in a sporting event
Back to the grind

No red pants were harmed in the making of this post

Siddhartha Pentalagus Furnessi Gautama

I unfortunately am not that familiar with Eastern philosophies so please bear with my ignorance. I am aware that many systems of faith have a renewal ritual associated with them that takes place in the spring. It seems that the one that is most celebrated in the US, a decidedly western culture, is not the only renewal ritual that associates with a bunny.

Much to my mother-in-law’s chagrin, Little Man was adamant that he should not thank the “Easter Bunny” for his Easter basket. He should instead give his laud to the “Eastern Bunny.”
Yes, the “Eastern Bunny.”

The Zen Lapin hid eggs filled with serenity and then hopped down the eight fold path to nirvana.

Thanks Eastern Bunny, Bock! Bock!

To recap:
The Eastern Bunny bestowed gifts of non-extremes to Little Man
Little Man liked them… but not too much
He left Little Man a train Now that train is constantly by is side
Constantly
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions is the continuation of last weeks
It will be an extravaganza of questionessihood

nothing to show for it

This weekend was one of those quietly intense weekends of asthma fun.

Okay, I feel it is necessary to explain more fully. It is a blog, that is what I do, so let me ‘splain. During the days Little Man’s breathing was fine. It was not great by any means. He could not compete in balloon blowing up contests or toy sail boat races, but short burst of manic behavior on a slide seemed to only add a little bit of breathing hardship. In fact it was typically mild enough, that if we slowed down the running with some animal crackers his breathing calmed right down as well.

The issue is that at night he needed 3 breathing treatments a night to sleep. This led to Mama (The lovely Wifey) and Papa (me) not getting good sleep due to the multiple interruptions. This leads me to conclude one of a couple of different things.

1. Little Man does not like us and wishes us ill and fulfills those wishes via no sleep. There is merit to this one.

2. There is something in the evening air that causes Little Man to breathe poorly. I shall call it “the dreaded vapors.”

Or 3. There is a fey that is sitting on his chest and sucking the air out of his lungs unbeknownst to us and we are lacking a certain feline houseguest to scare it aware from our darling boy.

Maybe it is a combination of the 3, I don’t know. Anyway, it boils down to Wifey and I being tired with nary a sick looking child to show for it.

To recap:
Lunch sucked today
It does not bode well for tomorrow either
And I live for lunch
It was my “letter L” word and everything
I am hungry
But I have to workout before I go home to eat
That does not bode well either
I am drinking lots of water in preparation for my stunning ability to sweat while going nowhere
Stunning really, quite stunning
I wish I liked running, because it is beautiful out there today
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the cryptozoologicals, paranormal animals, and mythological beasties

radio/buzzer

I accidentally hit the clock radio alarm switch from the “radio” setting to the “alarm” setting this morning.

Little Man did not like that. No sirree, he did not like that at all.

To recap:
This week seems to be dragging
After Little Man calmed down he said, “Papa! You Noooo Doooo That Again!”
Don't worry, I learned my lesson
I am either working out tonight, or Wifey is doing a yoga seminar
At least for one of us, there will be sweatin’ involved
I have a meeting in 10 minutes
It is about a road in Indiana
I will be doing everything in my power to keep myself awake
I am not that confident in consciousness maintenance abilities
Not confident at all…

The Forced Nap

Yesterday Little Man forced me to take a nap with him. That’s right, “Forced me.” You see, he needed a nap, but I had already taken a nap (stop judging me, I was tired). It was a nice morning nap while Little Man and Wifey went to feed some ducks at a local park. Turns out they had to go to 3 different parks to feed the ducks. The first park had a rather prominently displayed extremely stringent anti-duck feeding policy, so it was a no go. The second park had a lack of ducks. The third and final park had a no duck feeding policy, but it was not as audaciously displayed. Wifey and Little Man ignored the small anti duck feeding signs there and gave the ducks a mighty repast consisting of old (non-moldy but slightly stale) hamburger buns. Upon arriving home, Little Man made a bee-line to the bed-room to wake me up and tell me of the duck feeing adventure. After waking me up, he then went down stairs and shed his shoes and coat.

Anyway… fast forward 1 hour. Wifey is really tired and ready for a nap. I had been cleaning the night before and a little that morning, so I wanted to continue getting my portion of “getting the house in order,” so to speak. Little Man was having none of it. He wanted a nap with Papa. We tried talking him into a nap with Wifey, but it just was not working. The only way Wifey was getting a nap, was if I napped as well. So all three of us trudged up the wooden hill and got into a various sleeping positions. It took him about 45 minutes to fall asleep, but then he slept hardcore for 1.5 hours, with me in tow.

To recap:
I napped for 3 hours yesterday
We still cleaned the kitchen, the dining room, picked up the living room, did some laundry
I didn’t fall asleep until 2 am
I got my blood elf warlock up to level 25 though
Little Man had his second part of his OT eval today
We are not as displeased with the process today
We = Wifey + Me, not the royal “We” that I use when I talk about the realm and me
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions are about Perception…. Ooooh… perception

Walk

Aside from mauling 4 different cats yesterday evening, the walk with Wifey and Little Man went really well, but there was one thing Wifey and I realized about the walk.

To rebuild the day for you, fine readers: It was It is 74 º F (23-24 ºC for you metric folks and 296.4833 K for the physicists out there). It was cloudy and just the slight bit breezy. When the family converged upon the house, there was much flinging open of windows and opening of doors. Happiness ensued. After the airing out of the stuffy house was well underway and all parties involved had eaten something (Little Man’s dinner last night consisted of 1.5 bananananas) we set out on our walk.

Typically we like to walk for about 30 minutes. We just mosey through the neighborhood and enjoy how nice it feels outside. It is quite the nice experience. All involved are usually reluctant to go back home especially Little Man. His reason for continuing the walk stems from his knowledge that the bed-time ritual commences whence the promenade is accompli. We let Little Man direct us here and there and eventually start to wind our way back to the homestead. It is good to give him some control in his life, since so much of his life is out of his control.

Last night, after walking a mere 15 minutes, the little one starts directing us back toward the house. Wifey and I are not ready for our first family walk to be over so we start to direct him away from chez SRH and back deeper into the neighborhood. About 5 minutes pass and we notice that the urchin is exhibiting signs of a full bladder… 5 blocks from home. 5 blocks we would have traversed had we just gone home when the boy wanted to, nay… NEEDED to go home. Turns out that our little potty buddy knew that he was going to need to use the facilities rather soon and his parents forced him to stay away from the potty. We felt great about that. So, I helped him find a tree to bestow his gift of pee. Now, Wifey and I have taught him that trees in alleys are acceptable places to pee. Hurray for us.

To recap:
Maybe we should listen to the youngun
He typically does not want to go home, unless he has to
Peed like a race horse, he did
Once finished peeing, he commented that the tree did not indeed have a flush
He was correct
On the walk he stated to Wifey that she is a “big woman”
Much giggling on Papa’s part ensued
Then Little Man commented that Papa was a “big, fat woman”
Much more giggling on Mama’s part ensued
Working out tonight
Yippeee!
Actually, the working out does seem to be getting better
I don’t hate it the entire time I am there now
I still hate everyone there, but I don’t hate the entire time I am there
It is still not enjoyable, just not hate filled

Ailing Wednesday

I am at home with the sick Little Man today. Nothing is majorly wrong this time. This one seems like it is a pretty typical illness. Other than being really head congested and mildly fevered (really mild), Little Man seems to be his normal rambunctious self. He is making messes and running around. Of course, instead of it being a continuous blur of motion this seems to be more in fits and starts. He runs around for a few minutes and then has to take a break… you know, like a normal human.

I just wish I had more PTO (Paid Time Off for those of you with less acronymy bnefits packages) in my bank so that taking a day with him didn’t cut my PTO by 10%. That is an expensive day off. I had been working for a day off this week, but it was supposed to be Friday. Now my PTO bank is all shot to Hell. Oh well. Thems the break when you have a little one in the house. Wifey will be taking the day off tomorrow if the little one is still ailing, while I go in and get caught up with work as best I can.

Not much else to talk about really. In fact, if I don’t get off the computer soon, Little Man is going to force me into watching trains on YouTube whether he is having a breathy or not.

Cheers!

To recap:
Man I need some caffeine
We don’t have any in the house
If Little Man is up to it, we might get some furnace filters today
And some sort of caffeinated soft drink
So far this has not triggered any asthma stuff
But it is only a matter of time
How’s that for a happy outlook on life
Actually, we are surprised that it has not progressed as of yet
Turns out Little Man likes a vegan lasagna
We doctored up the vegan lasagna with some pork sausage
He can have anything vegan, we typically add meat though
Because, at our core, Casa De SRH is a house of carnivores
Great, now I’m hungry
Why am I still typing?
Oh, yeah, so I don’t have to play trains with a sick, cranky, willful kid

Go away, and don't come 'round here no more

It was a lark, I tell you, a lark. I never thought that it would end up how it did. It was good clean fun, just plain silliness really. I remember it as if it were yesterday… Okay, it was really only 2 weeks ago, but, wow, what a two weeks.

I had just picked up Little Man from G-ma D and G-pa R. He was getting settled into his car seat and getting ready for the journey home. Part of this ritual (other than me strapping into his five point harness of doom) is for Little Man to choose his music for the trip home. Well, this specific afternoon/early evening he chose the Bear in the Big Blue House CD. Not my favorite choice, but definitely not the worse thing he has made me endure. Anyway, to put Bear in, I had to take out the CD I had guiltily been listening to.

What that?
Oh, this is just the CD I was listening to when I was on my way here.
First Bear, then that.
Let me get this straight, since your use of articles, pronouns, adjectives, and adverbs is somewhat suspect. You want to listen to this CD after the theme song from Bear is over.
Uh-huh
Okay…

So, oddly enough, the theme song ends with the line, “So let’s begin.” The irony is not lost on me. No siree, it is not lost on me at all. Anyway… after Bear shuts his proverbial “yap” Little Man pipes up asking for “other CD.” Here we go, the mistake has been made, I slowly put the CD in and traveling as I know it changed forever at that point.

A little backstory: This “other” CD is the greatest hits from a band whose cassette was the first I ever purchased with my own money. This cassette was the cassette I wore out while reading countless comic books. This band is the band I listened to when I was reading my first real books. This band helped me through many a slow chapter of required novels with thick language and slower pacing for my English classes in middle school, junior high, and high school. There is a huge nostalgia reason for me to listen to this CD. Okay, back to the story.

The first drum beats and first notes from the saxophone hit and Little Man get a light in his eye that I have never seen before. The chorus plays, because most of the song is the chorus and he is repeating the lyrics as best he can. He is enthralled. He is absolutely loving this song. It is like coming home for him. He is wrapping himself in this song like it is a warm blanket. The song ends with plaintive lyrical hook that appears though out the song , and all I hear from Little Man is “Again! Again!”

Now whenever he gets in my car, and sometime before we get to my car he is asking for Who Can It Be Now by Men at Work. He is not soo keen on Down Under or It’s a Mistake and rarely listens to Be Good Johnny, but he goes nuts for Who Can it be Now.

To recap:
We painted the bed room this weekend
Now we need to move furniture back in
Next month I am trying out Diesel and Dust or Blue Sky Mining with Little Man
I would love to hear him singing Dreamworld
Then I will buy him a skinny tie and some parachute pants
Not sure what the 20 Questions topic will be for tomorrow yet, I will figure on out though
Before tomorrow
Probably immediately after I post this, um… post
I am real good with words

Lessons

Today while going from the car to G-ma D's and G-pa R's Little Man learned himself a lesson. As I was getting him out of the car and putting his Little Man feet on the ground, I remarked, "Be careful, Little Man, it is slippery."

To which he responded with infinite incredulity, "It not slippery."

I retorted thusly, "Yes, it is you need to be careful, so hold my hand."

Again , I was met with belligerent skepticism laced with thinly veiled contempt, "No, it not slippery."

I riposted with an invitation for an experiment. "Little Man, why don't you just hold my hand and take 2 steps forward." For I had noticed the bane of many a driver's existence and many a walker's sore bum. I had espied a patch of the dreaded black ice on the parking lot.

Intrigued, Little Man tentatively took my hand and took 2 confident steps forward. Soon my holding his hand was the only reason he was still upright. The look I got was very memorable. It was a look of comprehension beyond mere understanding. It was a look of someone who has just had their world turned on end. It was a look that spoke volumes and yet the look really only said something simple. He then said more out of awe than respect, "It IS slippery."

He grasped my hand firmly and together we walked into G-ma D's and G-pa R's house cautiously.

To Recap:
At least for a period of, at most, 5 minutes some of the rules Little Man once thought arbitrary seemed reasonable
Deadline for some work shifted
I have tons to do and no time to do it
It is going to be a long night
I am sure by the time I was back in my car heading to work, Little Man forgot that I had been right about something... for once
Deadline is 9:30 am tomorrow and I have a good bit of work left
Cheers!

Name your price

It seems that bribery works. I am not a big fan of the process for moral reasons, but it seems that it works and therefore is a viable solution to some of our more entrenched Little Man behaviors.

Case in Point, the first: Little Man’s potty training.
So far Little Man has been fine about peeing in the potty. He especially enjoys when Papa and Little Man pee at the same time. Bonding at its finest. The potty training issue that we have been fighting against is pooping on the potty. He has adamantly been against pooping in the potty for the past 6 months. Wifey and I don’t know exactly what that is all about, but we have been wiping poo off his 3.5 year old butt for far too long. Enter the bribery. Turns out that Little Man, who will not listen to reason, he determined on his own, what his price is. He named it and we haggled, and now we pay him to poop on the potty. “His price?” you ask. Well, other than answering, “None of your Damn business,” or “Get yer own kid to bribe,” and also in realizing that I have started this line of thinking, I really should answer with “Special root-beer.” That is right. Little Man will excrete solid waste on a proper toilet receptacle for a shorty (8 oz) A&W Root-beer.

Turns out he would most likely sell us to street thugs for some root-beer from a can. It is good to know he has a price. It is better to know what that price is, so we can top it…

Case in Point, the second: Little Man’s sleeping situation
We are co-sleepers. This was not a decision that we entered into thinking that we wanted to be closer to our little one and help him feel safe and secure in his slumbering. This sleeping arrangement was a decision made purely out of necessity. I shall explain. Back in the wee Little Man days when we were just the typical happy-go-lucky parents of a typical little boy, we were on the path top sleeping freedom. We were reading the No Cry Sleep Solution book and implementing its ideas as we started to move the boy into his own sleeping quarters. We just are not “cry it out” people. Nothing against people who use that solution, it just was not for us. Some people like vanilla ice cream, some French vanilla ice cream, and some people like vanilla bean ice cream. mmmmm ice cream.... where was I? Oh yes, he was at about 6 hours of sleep on his own at night and then the rest of the night in our bed. It was working. His stays in his own bed were lengthening and the time that he was not in our bed allowed for some wonderous slumber.

Then the food allergies really hit. He was scratching himself awake at night due to the rashes and eczema reactions from his food allergies (we think the itchiness was mainly soy and the eczema was the egg). For 3 months we slept, Wifey on one side and me on the other holding his little arms down so he couldn’t scratch himself awake at night. It was horrible… just plain horrible. We finally figured out all that he was allergic to and he was not itchy, but the damage had been done. We left one of the developmental stages where he would easily transition to another bed.

We started the transition process again, but this time it was halted due to his asthma kicking in. When you have to give breathing treatments every 4 hours for nearly a year, you just put the kid in your bed and sleep as best you can, when you can. When we were finally on a pretty good maintenance routine with his asthma and food allergies, he had hit the terrible 2’s and the effin’ 3’s, that was not the time to introduce a new sleep pattern. Now, I recognize that some of these are rationalizations, and some are real reasons, but the end effect is that his bed is currently butted up against ours and we all sleep (to steal a phrase) like a pride of lions.

Which leads me to the next bribery. It seems that Little Man is enamored with a loft style bed… with a slide! There is a light at the end of the family bed tunnel and it is a loft with a slide. He likes the mission style loft in black (Twin Junior Loft with slide in the Mission style in black... Boy's got taste). Not our choice in color, but if it gets him out of our bed it could be pink with yellow polka dots. If Little Man can sleep in his bed on his own for a while (Wifey and I have not discussed the time frame yet) we will order the loft. He is on board with that.

To recap:
Took an hour to dig out and get the car moving today
Yeeee-uck
Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate
Happy Single Awareness Day to those who celebrate
VD and SAD, that is just pitiful
Bribery could definitely pay off
Goodness Gracious! I hope so
Not much more to recap
Not sure what is for dinner tonight

2 things

Firstly, Little Man’s breathing is better. It is not where we want it to be, but it is better. Thanks to all the positive thoughts sent our way.

Secondly, Honestly, I don’t have a “Secondly.” I am pretty drained from the roller coaster event from yesterday. Breathing issues are difficult to deal with, because, well, by our definition life requires respiration of some form. So I leave you with this image instead of some inane ramblings on my part.

Someone once asked me what animal was the scariest. Well, I will tell you again, and this time I will back it up with a terrifying image.

I am afraid of Vampire Bears

To recap:
Each time I look at the post, I cringe
In fear and in shame
Both about equal
I need some sleep
Who isn’t afraid of Vampire Bears?
I mean really?
Some people are afraid of vampires
Some are afeared of bears
Me? I like to consider myself the more sane of those 2 groups for I am afraid of the combination
It is like a fear combo
You know where fries and a drink cost less
But I am not afraid of this Vampire Bear
That would be just plain silly

Honestly, I didn't watch any of the videos because they are blocked where I am

I could be incredibly frightened of that Vampire Bear and just not know it

I find it disturbing that someone blogs/vlogs by the name "Vampire Bear"
I really am just rambling now, aren’t I?
Have a great weekend

Comprimised part 2: the revenge

Update: 2:00pm

After the visit to El Doctore, we are now on a anti-biotic as well as an oral steroid. Even though Little Man is coughing a ton at the moment, it seems that there is still some really good air exchange going on in his little lungs. So at least we got that going for us.

Since the cough does not seem to respond to breathing treatments he has given us another course of action. We are attempting to treat the symptoms. Little Man seems to like hot lemonade with some honey in it. He doesn't know about the honey, so everyone, shut yer flappin' yaps.

To recap:
He is blissfully unaware of the honey he is consuming
So far he has not minded the anti-biotic
At least not nearly as much as he minded the Orapred
Today is Wifey and my anniversary of getting engaged
11 years ago I asked her to marry me and she accepted
SUCKER!
I definitely won out on that one
I am going to go se if he wants some more warm lemonade
With honey

Comprimised

Little Man's breathing seems to have finally realized how crappy the weather is. Ergo, I am at home with his coughing self today. So far we are doing breathing treatments around every 3 hours, he is on Orapred, and he is still coughing. I think that very little of the coughing is the typical phlegmy cough that everyone has this time of year, but 19 of every 20 coughs is definitely the asthma-non-productive-dry-cough that we know so well.

We are really not that sure as to what to do. He is not responding great to the breathing treatments and o far I am unimpressed with the Orapred results. Usually that stuff knocks the cough on its ass, but... right now, the cough seems to be winning. I will be making an appointment with El Doctore soon, but his office isn't open yet, so I will have to wait a bit for that.

Needless to say (and yet still being said) I do not like this cough one bit.

To recap
Grandma D and Grandpa R are going to think they did something wrong
It is how they roll
It is picturesque as Hell out there
The roads are atrocious though
Soccer: US v Mexico tonight on ESPN2 at 9pm EST
I will be very interested to see this team play
Little Man's breathing is definitely compromised
Great a full day of Go, Diego, Go! and playing trains
Hopefully I will have a better report about his breathing tomorrow

Nap?!?

So I am home this afternoon with Little Man. This is a planned homestay, so no diatribe against the caregivers this time. This one I completely scheduled and expected. I just hope that Little Man wants to take an inordinately long nap today, because his papa needs the sleep. Badly.

Steve:

Joe:

Little Man is currently forcing me to watch Blue’s Clues. I have nothing against the show, but I have to know how Steve or Joe made it to adulthood being so completely unaware of their surroundings. Sweet goose down quilts! those 2 couldn’t find their hand in a bag if their hands were in bags. –Wow, that metaphor didn’t work at all- Anyway, it goes to the overall topic or questions regarding awareness and children’s shows. I think the characters on kids' shows have gotten rather complacent in their situational vigilance. I mean, come on, they rely on toddlers and little kids to find everything for them. I swear to pizza on a stick, if Blue’s paw print were an angry venomous snake, there would be 2 less children’s TV hosts around.

Oh, and Dora, Swiper is behind the bush. He is always behind the bush, every single time. Behind the bush. Every time. Why don’t you check there prior to enlisting the aid of my train distracted child. Send your weird footwear-challenged primate to look behind the bush, if Swiper isn’t there, then ask my 3.5 year old if he’s seen him. My child is not your lookout. I don’t want you priming the pump for him to be “the lookout” when people he is loosely acquainted with want to knock over a convenience mart and need another set of eyes.

Where was I? hmmmm Oh yes, not much to say today.

To recap:
I am napping in 20 minutes
Please, please, please let me nap in 20 minutes
Okay, Blogger is being all wonky
I will try publishing again after the nap
Please, please, please let there be a nap
I will publish this after the nap
Have a great weekend

Update: it was a glorious nap. I feel much better. Now we are giving him a breathy. Aaaaah nap. Now I know I won't get to sleep tonight

Snuffily

So, Thursday Little Man decided it was nigh passed the time when he should get another cold. I has been 3 weeks of new year with barely a sniffle, so I guess he might be right. Don’t get me wrong, since about November Wifey and I have been giving him at least 1 rescue treatment a day, so it hasn’t been all roses, rainbows, and unicorn farts here in SRHville. I said “unicorn farts” not “Unicron farts.” There is a big difference:

Shout out to the Gen X geeks out there! “Holla! Holla!”

Anyway… Thursday Little man gets his first cold of 2007. I happen to get the same cold Friday morning. Friday evening Wifey decides that she is feeling left out and jumps on the cold bandwagon. This weekend was a sniffily, snuffily disgusting weekend of phlegm and inability to breath. Eventhough we had our ER bag packed Saturday night we were able to ride out the multiple breathing treatments necessary to keep the little one alive. The rule is 3 in a 6 hour timeframe and to the ER we go. We were at 3 in a 6.5 hour time frame. So we were 1 episode of ALF away from Orapred.

Hey, Willy!

To recap:
Unicorn farts = potpourri
ahhhh... orange peel and anise
Unicron farts = annihilation
My planet is gone!
It is a simple transposition of letters
Speaking of mis-types…
I accidentally hit the “t” when I type “busy” all the time as well
That makes for some odd emails to co-workers
“You sure look busty today, Bob.”
“Ummm… I don’t understand your email”
“You know, Bob. ‘You have a nice rack,’ or maybe I accidentally hit the‘t’ key. I am not telling you which is the truth though. I like to keep you guessing.”
20 Questions Tuesday tomorrow
Not sure what is for dinner tonight

Hairs

Okay, I am not much for giving advice to other parents. I mean, really, if you have kids, you have enough people telling you how to parent. Your parents chime in every now and again, co-workers with kids, (surprisingly enough) co-workers without kids, total strangers, doctors, social workers, children’s services workers, etc… You know, people who should mind their own business and let you parent how you wish. That being said, I feel it is my duty to inform other parents of Wifey and my parental discovery of last night. Keep in my, I am in no way telling anyone what to do. I am merely imparting knowledge gained through adversity. Adversity one hopes you, other parent, will not have to experience. I am altruistic like that.

When attempting to cut your child’s hair for the first time on your own, do not:
Number 1: make the attempt when one or more parents are fending off a migraine
Number 2: make the attempt when one or more parents are having gall bladder issues
Number 3: make the attempt when one or more parents have not eaten recently
Number 4: make the attempt when the child is nearing the end of his day without a nap
Number 5: make the attempt within view of anything more enjoyable than sitting and getting his hair cut by his parents
Number 6: make the attempt while blocking the view of the Library’s copy of Blues Clues on the TV.

Last night we broke all 6 of those.

I was hungry and fending off a migraine, while Wifey was hungry and dealing with gall bladder issues. I accidentally nicked Little Man’s ear with some scissors. He cried… a bunch. He cried a bunch more than it hurt because it was close to bed-time, he didn’t have a nap, the train table was still within his sight (but waaaay over there in the other room), and Papa was too opaque thus blocking Blues Clues.

The whole hair-cutting experiment had to be halted while Little Man calmed himself with some passenger train action on the train table. By the end of the fiasco it looked like he had been mauled by a little tiny bear. The side of his head was all bloodied, there were tears streaming down his face, and 2 patches of hair that clearly had not been cut yet. He was in the living room holding tufts of newly shorn locks in his hands saying, “Want hair back on head…” He really looked pretty rough. The ear stopped bleeding before bath-time, and the final 2 areas were taken care of in his bath. We felt vindicated.. headachey, bellyachey and vindicated when he liked how it looked when he saw himself in the mirror.

All in all, I have to say that his hair looks pretty good… now. I still would wait until more favorable conditions before making the attempt again.

Just a friendly bit of advice from me to you.

To recap:
Need to get to the grocery tonight
I also need my hairs cut
It seems that my hairs cutter is unavailable due to birth of his first child
Congrats JW! Get pics up soon!
Looks like I will be scruffy a while longer
Speaking of scruffy, I need me some new pants
Heck, I probably need some new shirts
I am a disheveled unkempt shaggy headed blogger
Really, It is not pretty
Oh, yeah, make sure you kid goes to the bathroom before mauling his hair
Have a great weekend everyone

Deal Breakers

So in our search for a different child care set up for Little Man Wifey and I have run into some deal breakers for childcare.

The first of the deal breakers has been the lack of part time daycare availability in the area. Some places say they do part time (not full week) but they are lying through their plaque ridden teeth. Most places have only a limited amount of part time spaces, and oddly enough, they are all filled up. Most places say that they offer part-time because they feel that you, as the parents, can just decide not to bring your kid in on all 5 workweek days. You pay for 5 days a week, but only have to use the place the days that you want. Well, thanks a bunch guys. Other places set up their daycare like a timeshare. We can only use them as a part-time child care facility if we can find someone who is willing to have their kid take Little Man’s slot on the days that he isn’t there. I like to think of the other kid like those seat fillers at the Golden Globes and the Oscars. So far only one place we have contacted has full on part-time capability, and Wifey has called a shit-ton of the places recently.

The second of the deal breakers is their food allergen policy. I mean seriously. In this day and age with the prevalence of lethal and near lethal reactions to the major 8 food allergens, a daycare should have some kind of food allergen policy in place. Each facility should at least be tree-nut and peanut free. That is a no brainier, but the facilities should also have a policy in place for people with multiple food allergies. I am not saying that all child-care places should be tree-nut, peanut, dairy, egg, soy, wheat, fish and shellfish free, but they should have at least an idea of what they could do to ensure the health and safety of a child who has multiple food allergies. For the record, I do think that most places should also be fish and shellfish free, because, that is just weird to have tilapia and lobster out on the snack table.

The third of the deal breakers is location. The realty maxim of “Location, Location, Location” also matter when dealing with child care. It does no good if the potential childcare is a 40 minute commute from where we live or our relative places of work. Some of the more attractive places are across town from where either of us even remotely roam. One would think that places would abound near us, but they all have issues with the idea of 3 days a week with food allergies.

The fourth of the deal breakers is environment. Well, more to the point, this deal breaker happens to be about carpet and small furry creatures. I am amazed at how many day care facilities have carpet. With the number of spills and messes associated with kids, I would think that a surface that could be hosed down makes the most sense. If we were currently building with Splashy McSpillsalot in our household, Wifey and I would be hard-pressed not to have cement floors in all the rooms with drains on all the floors. Not to mention Little Man’s asthma. Carpet is a bad thing for him. It traps stuff in it that makes him cough. Again, I am not saying that all places need to be carpet free, but our kid’s asthma kind of necessitate it for or decision making purposes. The asthma and his allergy to most things furry also mean there should not be any hamsters, guinea pigs, marmots, ferrets, cats, dogs, rhinos, etc.. as class pets. Not to mention cedar chips don’t really work. They just make the poop and pee smell like it has been in a cedar chest.

The fifth of the deal breakers is murals. Not all murals, mind you, just the murals that depict hippos as kindly, happy go lucky friends to people. Those animals are vicious killers. Most African animal encounter deaths are due to the hippo. They are insanely territorial and murderous slavering beasties. My son, heir to my self imposed moniker, Natural Hippopotamus Enemy, will not… nay… can not abide in an environment that makes hippos seem that friendly, cuddly friends. It would be like having murals of cartoony dictators plastered over the walls for the kids to play with. You know, like murals of a dancing Ivan, the Terribly Fun for Kids, and Ghengis Duck Duck Goose Khan.

The sixth and final deal breaker is their stance on cryptozoological existence. Little Man’s uncle happens to be a half Yeti. Most pre-schools and daycares discourage children from believeing that yetis and bigfoots (bigfeet?) okay… sasquatches, amoks, elves, jabberwockies, satyrs, dryads, nyads, trolls, giants, unicorns, dragons, jack-a-lopes, etc… exist. The odd thing is they are more than willing to propogate the holiday entities charade. Oooh, look it's Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy (wait, the Toothe Fairy isn't associated with a holiday, nevermind). Well if they feel that cryptos don’t exist, they are denying Little Man’s uncle’s existence (well, half his existence anyway) and that is not acceptible.

To recap:
Looks like we have solid child care for the next few weeks at least
Back to the normal schedule
And therefore the normal posting schedule
Not that this schedule ever really changed
Little Man wore his jammies to “work” today
Who wouldn’t want to wear jammies to work
I have one of those headaches today Yep, one of those pine marten trying to escape the confines of my skull headaches
Stupid weather
Our questionnaire for in home/private childcare is going to be rather interesting, isn’t it?

Sorry for the lateness of the post today, Blogger was acting wonky

Clique, clique, clique

This weekend was the Great Train Expo for Central Ohio. Little Man went to the expo twice this weekend. He do loves hims somes trains. For his first foray into the world of train enthusiasts this winter, he attended the show on Saturday with his Mimma. The weather was really nice that day and the expo was attended really heavily. He made it home with some new trains: Lionel Santa Fe War Bonnets to be exact… to go with his other 2 Sante Fe War Bonnet engines he already had. He has a thing for Santa Fe’s. Honestly, it is surprising that he left there with so little. So, Sunday Wifey, Little Man, and I made it through the nasty weather to attend the show for Little Man’s second day in a row. He then got another Santa Fe. The blue this time.

The expo is set up as train “lay-outs” on the left and vendors on the right. Never shall the 2 mix. It turns out that there are quite a few subsets of train enthusiasts. The first group is kids. Theys loves thems somes trains. This group is easily identified due to their lack of age. Little Man falls into this category. The second group is of the collectors/vendors. These are the folk the ones trying to hock their wares. They are the business people who are out there trying to make a buck. The third group is the collector/antiquarian group. Some of these folks have vendor booths set up, but they don’t really want to sell there stuff to people, they want people to recognize their wares’ rarity. These are the people who don’t want to take the toy out of the packaging and play with it because then it will be worth less. The fourth group is made up of the guys who really wish they were train engineers, but due to their inability to climb ladders or stairs, their questionable grooming habits, and lacking social acumen are forced to build their own little dream worlds in their garage/basement/attic whatever. The fifth group are the railfanners. That group are adults who do not play with scale model trains. These people stalk real trains and videotape them for later viewing when they are not watching actual trains. There were not many railfanners at the expo because they were out watching trains.

It turns out that the train enthusiast community is a bit of a closed community. None of the four groups want to mingle together. Well…. That is not quite the case. The vendors really want the kids around. Annnnnd some of the unwashed wannabee engineers REALLY wanted the kids around, but I am not going to get into the creepy vibes I was getting from some of them. That is a topic for a different post… maybe. The collectors did not want the kids around, because they might devalue one of their prized possessions. The collectors don’t get along with the wannabees because the wannabees want to play with the collectors items like they are some mere toys. Okay, the vendors liked everyone now that I think about it, but that is beside the point, the point is that this hobby is one of cliques and divisions.

The divisions even ran between scale models as well. The N-scalers thought the HO people with idiots and too old fashions, while the S-Gaugers looked down on the Z, N, and HO people because their trains were too small and did not have enough detail. The divisions were deeper than that though. The Central Ohio Railroad Enthusiasts did not talk to the Railroad Enthusiasts of Central Ohio, the Model Railway Club of Central Ohio didn’t mingle with either Railroad Enthusiast groups, and everyone equally shunned the Dayton Area Model Railway Club. There were cliques within cliques within cliques. I haven’t even started talking about the fights between the different factions of controller technology. The vehemence and derision displayed by these varying groups rivaled the ill feelings between Newtonian Calculus Supporters and Liebnezian Calculus Supporters in the 1700’s. Talk about 2 groups you didn’t want to have tea with.

Anyway… The show was a success with Little Man but I was appalled by the lack of interaction within the different sects of that community. I hope Little Man does not necessarily want to cultivate this hobby full-time. I don’t think I could handle the cliquishness.

To recap:
Overall it was a good weekend
I am a bit harsh on the wannabees, but they weren’t willing to interact with anyone who was not in their club
Sweet Mulberry Bushes! Guys you have kids between the ages of 2.5 to 10 who are enrapt with your train displays…
Interact with them
Talk to them about your hobby
Shower
Oh yeah, stop leering at my wife!
The Lego train layout was incredible, and the guys running it were very personable
They did not belong there

Schemocityishness

Some of you don’t know this, but some of you clearly do. I will call those that do, oh, shall we say, “parents?” Yes, I will call them “parents.” One cannot force a 3.45 year old to eat quickly. This is an issue when you have to pick him up from pre-school, get him fed, and get him to his afternoon childcare and you need to be back at work because of some crazy deadlines you did necessarily agree to. Little Man will eat his orange rice at his own pace thank you very much. If that pace happens to coincide with the ending of a Blue’s Clues episode, that is mere happenstance. It is not some master scheme devised by a not yet 4 year old Machiavelli to keep you from getting back to work and completing your insane tasks. No sir-ee Bob. Not a scheme at all. Definitely not schemish. Low value on the schemometer. Utterly lacking in schemoscity. Could not be studied by a schemologisty. Well, might be studiable by a schemologist if the schemologist is doing a case study on something anti-schemic. .

Again, some of you don’t know this other truism, but some of you clearly do. Probably the same set of folks. Anyways… sometimes it is easier to cave in than stand up. “Choosing one’s battles” is a label for it, but more than anything it feels like caving. Yes, Wifey, I caved! You weren’t there! You don’t know!!! It was a warzone man! People were leaving left and right of us! We were just sitting in the car... I thought orange rice would assuage the beast in the seat, but it didn’t! It couldn’t. The beast beat me. Beat me, I say! BEAT MEEEEEEEE. To make a long story short, Little Man got a Sprite from McDonald’s on the way home. It was the only way… THE ONLY WAY!

To recap:
I still have a shit ton of stuff to do today
I do not have a shit-ton of time left to do it
World of Warcraft’s Burning Crusade Expansion is really nice
I gotta get in stupid early tomorrow
Wifey has apparently discovered Pandora.com
Thanks a bunch JW!!!
She loves it
I can’t access it from work; therefore, I hate her
Little Man is at a friend’s house today
Let’s hope he naps, and we’re all still friends after they have him alone for 5 hours
Have a great weekend