3 Things

3 Things to talk about from the weekend.

Thing the first:
Earth Balance Soy Free Margarine. Thank you for mass producing an 8 major allergen free buttery spread. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Rather from the bottom of Wifey’s heart. She is rather tired of the shortening that we “made” into something “butter-ish.”

Thanks Earth Balance, Bawk! Bawk!

Thing the second:
Rice Krispie Treats are tasty. Mmmmm

Thing the third:
I have a killer headache that is getting in the way of me being nice to my loud 5.75 year old. Yep, fluffy is in da house.

To recap:
Shout out to the May 4th Memorial at Kent State
Even though this is a rather quick post, it is chock full of lemony goodness
Maybe that is the headache talking
Tylenol, Sudafed, and Mt Dew have something to say to you, Fluffy
And it is not “Make yourself comfortable.”
They aren’t polite like that
Listening to Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill
I am Old Skool like that

20 Questions Tuesday: 132 - Interview with Riley (Interviews)

For this installment of 20 Questions Tuesday I am interviewing the much sought after Riley from

All Rileyed Up

. I started reading her blog about 3 years ago and have watched it transform a few times. Her irreverence knows few bounds, and her posts and comments smell distinctly of sarcasm. Riley is one of the few denizens of the net that I would really like to get to know more. She and I have never met, yet I think our paths have crossed rather closely a few times. I have always loved her questions that she has for me, and now I am looking forward to her answers. For the topic of this interview

(I decided to make it a recursive loop the kind of which only Star Trek excells)

I have chosen

"Interviews."

On to the questions:

1. How many interviews have you given since you started blo

gging?

In my incredibly busy 3-year blogging span, I've managed to get one other blogger interested in interviewing me. And now you. I'

m tak

ing the internet by storm, I tell you.

2. Two interviews in 3 years is not bad. So far, with 1 gigantic interview under your belt, what would you say is the best part about being interviewed?

Can I say that the comments to the interview were very exciting? I hate to sound like the kind of person who just REALLY wants other people to lik

e her, but I gotta be me.

3. Who would be your ultimate interviewee/interviewer?

Are we talking anyone anywhere, time period and lan

guage barriers notwithstanding? Genghis Kahn. Preferably over a meal of turkey legs, you know those big kinds that you can buy at carnivals and festivals that look like you can use them as a weapon once you're done eating them?

4. Is that choice because of Genghis or because of the turkey legs?

Genghis, of course. I just threw in the turkey legs for his benefit. I think if he visited the twenty-first century, he would really like this food option at fairs (a close second being the deep-fried Twinkie).

5. Why hasn't fried-food-on-a-stick become more of an American cul

tural mainstay beyond at fairs and carnivals?

Fairs and carnivals usually only come to an area once or twice a year, and that's really all a human body should sustain of fried food on a stick. Could yo

u imagine the obesity problem in this country if we had the fried food on a stick option ALL the time? I shudder to think. Or jiggle, as the case may be.

6. Speaking of the obesity problem in the US, what is your favorite decadent food? Mine is, as most faithful readers know (hello to the both

of you), Vanilla Bean Cheesecake.

I'm not much of a cheesecake person. That's the one decadent treat I could alway

s easily pass in. But pinpointing my favorite decadent food is really a difficult

thing to do. You may as well ask me what is the worst outift Tori Spelling ever wore in the entire span of 90210 -- TOO MANY CHOICES. Or, since you probably didn't watch 90210, asking me who was the best bad immortal to ever fight Duncan MacLeod. I just don't know if I could choose. I could definitely choose the most irritating immortal, though: Richie. I can't stand him! Although the episode with Joan Jett hitting on him was funny. Um, where we

r

e we? Decadent treats? Maybe Girl Scout Thin Mints.

7. and you are in the thick of the Girl Scout Season as well... Ac

kI hated the villain played by the lead singer from the

Fine Young Cannibals

. Anyhoo... what is your tv distraction du jour, since Highlander the series has been off the air for years now?

Thanks to the wonders of Netflix,

Highlander the Series

lives on. In fact, it is also through the wonders of Netflix that I can watch any TV

because I stopped getting TV service in 2005. I'm a season behind, but I currently wa

tch

Smallville,

Entourage

,

Lost

, and

Flight of the Conchords.

(editors note: You can Google these your damn selves)

8. What made you decide to stop "getting TV service in 2005?" Next to Mt Dew, TV is my opiate.

It seemed like a lot of extra money to watch things I can eventuall

y rent on DVD. The only thing I miss is the occasional football game, Saturday Night Live, and the Oscars, so I invite myself to other people's houses and watch

it on their TV.

9. Back to the subject matter. When giving interviews do you try to answer as truthfully as possible and damn the personal consequences or

do you hedge a bit to protect the feelings and thoughts of others?

I try to do a little of both, depending on the question, but really, how else am I to answer the question? "As truthfully as possible" is so subjective.

My feelings on truth could best be summed up by this excerpt from Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar:

Dimitri: So, Tasso, you seem to be one of those guys who thinks there is no absolute truth, that all truth is relative.

Tasso: Right.

Dimitri: Are you sure of that?

Tasso: Absolutely.

10. So do you think I am Hot? I am pretty sure I will have a better answer to the previous question by how you answer this one.

As I understand it, the temperature in Columbus is in th

e 40s today

(Friday the 20th -the editor)

, which is my idea of freezing, so I think you're cold.

Interesting answer. 11. So sometimes in an interview, you feel that obfuscation and avoidance are necessary?

I don't know what obfuscation means. Please use smaller words.

12. Well-played, Riley, well-played indeed.

Thank you.

13. I know from my experience that I get a great deal of satisfaction answering 20 Questions Tuesday questions in the most obtuse yet technically correct manner. What gives you the most satisfaction when answering a question?

I derive a lot of satisfaction from referencing movie quotes as part of my answer. I don't appear to have done that in this interview thus far, which leaves me no choice but to say I demand satisfaction! I love that lin

e. It's from Barry Lyndon.

14. In that case...

Do you feel lucky, punk? Do ya?

I was trying to think up some cheeky answer. but much like the villains being faced down by Clint Eastwood, my mind has gone blank.

15. I am sure you would have been super intimidated if you saw

my steely gaze as well. Favorite movie quote?

Didn't my answer to the favorite decadent food question make it obvious that I am incapable of pinpointing ultimate favorite things? I cannot choose. In a

ddition to every line in The Princess Bride, I'm rather fond of the way Mr. T growls out "Prediction? Pain." and I often say "I dig that about you!" a la Cuba Gooding Jr in Jerry Maguire and "It's a sweater!" from Three Amigos. I could go on (and on and on) but for the sake of post length and keeping things swear-free, I'll limit myself to these.

I was fairly sure that you would not be able to boil it down to one favorit

e quote, which leads me to... 16. Do you have a problem with decisiveness, such that you can not reduce a universe of options to one finite answer?

Um, I don't know... let me get back to you on that once I've had some time to think about it...

17. List 5 bloggers you would like to interview.

Again with the specifics!!!! Let's see, I just asked Edj at Planet Nomad if I could interview her, and I'm stoked she said yes. I think I could also have fun with Our Little Tonginnator, Steph at Red Clay Diaries, This Eclectic Life, and Whee! All the Way Home. I believe you can find them all on my sidebar.

(editors note: So visit her blog, already!)

18. What subjects (without going into the whys and hows and whos and such) are strictly off-limits in an interview... maybe this should have been my first question?

You could always lie and put this question first and pretend like you asked me that as question number one. I won't tell. As for the answer, n

o subject is always off limits (see my answer on absolutes), although I don't like having to defend my dislike of yogurt. Or Highlander.

19. Your love of Highlander, or dislike of Highlander? as a follow up: Duncan or Connor?

Sorry, I should have said "Or my love of Highlander." Duncan all the w

ay. Not to say that I don't like Connor, and was sad to see him die, but Duncan was by far more entertaining and ridiculous.

20. Will you be posting this on your blog as well and is there anything emblazoned in your memory from this interview?

I will be a posting a link to this on my blog so that people have to visit yours to read it, and hopefully enjoy other posts by you as well, such as your threats to the

yeti

and

hippo

. Emblazoned in my memory are the following things: 1) I like Highlander 2) Obfuscate and 3) I'm indecisive.

Thanks!

To Recap:

Thanks so much, Riley!

I have much to do tonight since I have been fighting off a nasty headache all day

Hello, Fluffy. Been a while, hasn’t it?

Listening to Joss Stone sing

Some Kind of Wonderful

Reading the

The Shepard Kings

by Judith Tarr

20 Questions Tuesday: 127 - Interview with Lsig

This week I have done the second of my hopefully on-going series of interviews on 20 Questions Tuesday.

For this installment of the weekly show I bring to you oft questioner, lsig. She is known by many names one of which is

nqllisi

on

L

i

VEJOURNAL.

Her blog can be found

here

.

Lsig and I have known each other since college. She was dating my roommate and was just a simple pleasure to have hanging around in the apartment. In many ways ksig and Wifey and lsig and I are technically better matched than the current couplings, but I think that is why we four have always gotten along so well.

Anyway, the topic of this interview is loosely based around Traffic and Trafficking.

On to the questions!

1. If you had the opportunity to smuggle fresh fruit into Canada, wouldn't you? Canadians want fresh fruit too, right?

It is my understanding Canadians only want maple syrup and beer. And pie. I know a Canadian who really likes pie. She likes Skittles, too.

2. Skittle pie? That sounds horrendous.

I didn't say I liked it- I'm not Canadian.

3. What would it take for you to become Canadian? Everyone has their price, Lsig. Everyone.

Well, they'd have to cough up some fresh fruit.

4. Some fresh plums from Chili and you are singing

"Oh Canada?"

Where is your loyalty?

I still support the perpetually losing Cleveland sport

s teams, despite having moved away from northeast Ohio nearly a decade ago. I am the very definition of loyalty.

5. Speaking of Cleveland sports teams. That Lebron is something else, isn't he?

If by "something else," you mean "Lsig's imaginary boyfriend", then yes. Yes, he is.

6. Why haven't you started following more local sports franchises. You left the greater Cleveland area almost 10 years ago. One would think you would start identifying yourself more geographically with the DC area franchises by now.

Well, aside from the whole "loyalty" thing, the Redskins

and Wizards haven't been that great in the time we've been here. The Nationals were fun to root for when they first started, and as a National League team they don't conflict with the Indians for my affection, but we haven't been able to watch many games because of a television rights war going o

n here. Mostly, though, it's a loyalty thing.

7. Who really introduced you to the fan side of Cleveland sports. Granted I understand that when someone grows up near Cleveland they ate enmeshed intrinsically to the sports franchises up there, but usually there is some person who guides the young into becoming the true fans that the Cleveland area breeds.

My mother loves the Browns and the Indians, so we always had sports on at home. That said, I didn't watch sports myself with any regularity until I started dating KSig. He is certainly the reason I now watch ESPN every night in lieu of the actual news.

8. In many ways, isn't sports news more relevant than global geo-political news?

It is certainly easier to engage with it emotionally. I am equally unlikely to be able to influence the outcome of the next Cavs game and the progress of a genocidal regime somewhere around the world, but it feels a good deal nicer to worry about LeBron's bicep.

9. Back to the idea of traffic. How far is your commute to your job? Should you be envious of me because I have no commute, or should I be enviou

s of you since I have no job?

My commute is generally between 18 and 22 minutes, with an added 6 to 8 minutes to drop off the Siglette. I currently live in one of the two worst traffic areas in the country, so I am ridiculously lucky when it comes to commute times. You should be jealous of me, for this and myriad other reasons. I'm tremendously cool and interestin

g.

10. Is there a perfect commute window for you such that if you leave 5 minutes earlier or later it takes 15 minutes longer to get where you are going?

Yes, if I leave more than 5 minutes late, I am late by at least fifteen minutes. Of course, on any given day the traffic can be randomly bad even if I leave right on time, so it's always a fun adventure. Fortunately, everyone who works here is in the same boat so no one is too scrupulous about exactly when you walk in.

11. Do you ever bring fruit to the Canadians who work in your office? I know

there are Canadians there. Canadians are everywhere, and they act just like polite Americans, so you can't tell who they are... unless there is some hockey on TV.

Oh, maybe offering some fresh fruit would be a way to lure them out of hiding... I must consider this further.

12. Ever thought about selling that kid of yours? I mean really we have all thought about selling our kids, right? Heh, heh, I’m not alone is this, right?

I haven't really considered selling her...but there have been mom

ents when I'd have happily given her away for free. KSig, on the other hand, had a starting bid and a Buy it Now price selected for Ebay.

13. It is the ad write-up that you have to watch out for. If the kid is so great, why are you selling? What do you think the key selling features are for the Siglette?

This teeny wonder is in like-new condition. With big blue eyes, ten fingers and ten toes, and four, yes four original teeth, this little girl is good for all of your peek-a-boo needs. Perfect for picking up every crumb, string, or piece of lint on your carpet, the 2008 model of the Siglette has three speeds- walking, crawling, and sleep. Never worry about losing a family member under blankets a

gain- she'll find whoever is hiding! Need help taking off your glasses or the hat on your head? She has you covered!

14. Are you afraid that anyone you know might want to make the eBay purchase? I know a few who would click "Buy it Now" if Little Man or Q came up for bid.

There are a few people- most of them with some variation of the word "Grandma" in their name.

15. Speaking of "Grandma," is being away from family a blessing or a curse? I know where I fall on this issue.

Being far from my family is more of a curse. Shall we leave it at that?

Left at that, it is. It is odd, being away from my family is a blessing.

16. How often do you make the trip "back home?"

Around three times a year, before the Siglette- once in the summer, onc

e around the holidays, and then usually a long weekend by myself at some point, for a holiday or a family reunion, that sort of thing. We'll see how it shakes out now that we have spawned; the family there would certainly like us to come more often, but travel is decidedly more difficult. I suppose it will probably average out to about the same, 2 - 3 times per year.

17. How often does family travel to you?

For the first eight years that we lived here, we'd

have family visiting once or twice a year. In the last 11 months, strangely enough, we've been visited 9 or 10 times. Weird.

18. Is it for the fruit? They may be secretly Canadian?

Heaven forbid! We wouldn't want a rumour like that to get

oot

.

Out! I mean out.

19. Will you be posting this interview on your blog as well?

That's a good idea. It'll be nice to show my blog readers how famous I am.

20. Anything emblazoned on your memory about this interview?

Something about fruity Canadians?

To recap:

Still applying myself like glue

I have a pretty hideous headache at the moment

It is purely weather related

Stupid weather

For some reason this 60 degree shift has messed with my sinuses

Why hello, Fluffy

So you have the Cavs over the Pacers tonight, I see

Listening to

All Better Now

by Earl Greyhound

Feeble Attempt

The ability to create an effective metaphor is a keen ability to possess when writing a blog. I wish I could claim metaphors such as “like trying to tie your shoes with sticks and bubble gum” Or “as useless as a fat kangaroo in a wet sand box.” The ability to create an effective metaphor seems to erode as sleep deprivation increases. In fact, as sleep deprivation increases, ability to generate a meaningful and interesting topic seems to go out the window as well. Basically, as sleep deprivation increases, most things that take thought seem to do not good stuff… and things. But this post is not about sleep deprivation. This post is all about… ummm… other stuff… other very important stuff.

I am tired and my head hurts. No more post for today.

(Look, it’s Fluffy, the Headache Pine Marten!)

You go away, Fluffy. You go away right now.

To Recap:
Q is preferring Wifey something fierce right now
Much to everyone else’s consternation
I am all about the new software learning
I am currently watching Google SketchUp tutorials that are nicely categorized on YouTube
I have been watching approximately 3 hrs of tutorials
Whilst informative and interesting (to a point) I am getting a bit tired of watching tutorials
You would be tired as well
This incessant droning on by the online tutor is also getting in the way of holding on to and stringing together coherent thoughts
Especially with a certain amount of lack of sleep
A WiP update on the Doom pic tomorrow
I hope there is a discernable difference between what I have done so far
Listening to someone drone on about edges, faces, selections, and objects

Tangential

The problem with yetis other than their remoteness and un-kindness towards strangers is that they smell like a wet goat on crack. I am not sure why the goat is necessarily on crack, except that crack is a problem across societal, socio-economic, racial, and species boundaries (is there an adjective for speciesal?). Crack should get worried about meth though. Meth is on the rise and does not require costly Columbian imports for its creation. Let’s be clear, being illicit drug independent is important in this day and age of high fuel costs. It is not as important as alternative fuel sources, but it is pretty important nonetheless. Go green, Go meth. I should work in advertising. I mean it. Slogans like “Go Green, Go Meth” don’t come along every day. Even addicts want to help the environment.

In truth I think we all want to help the environment. I don’t know of one single person out there who is hoping and praying to befoul the environment. Well, there is one… I am looking at you, Chad! That being said, there are some people who don’t want to actively change their lifestyles for the greater good of the environment. Some of which are the anti-environmental cocaine smugglers. Whether that coke is made into crack or left to be sold as pure blow doesn’t matter, what matters is that an incredible amount of diesel and airplane fuel went into the production of that illicit material. Frankly, that excess is just irresponsible. Not irresponsible like a yeti, but what is really? And that is what this post is supposed to be about. It is supposed to be about how stupid and smelly yetis are, not about how environmentally irresponsible the drug trade is.

So back to the matter at hand: Yetis are stupid and smelly creatures with big noses due to their big fingers and bad posture. I am not sure what bad poster has to do with their big noses, but that is irrelevant. Not as irrelevant as Chad and his anti-environmental ways(Ooooooh, Burn!) but irrelevant nonetheless.

So, there you have it. Yetis are big, dumb, smelly creatures… and Chad is a anti-environmental jerk.

To recap:
I have a headache
Well, Hello Fluffy
It indeed has been a long time… ummm… indeed
I have started working on tomorrow’s Digital Thursday stuff
It will be a “Work-in-Progress”
A WiP to use the lingo
I am not sure whose lingo, but it is lingo, damnit!
Listening to Loser by 3 Doors Down off of The Better Life

One thing

Thing the First:

Computers are made up of a bunch of different primary components that make them work. The list basically goes motherboard, processor, memory, soundcard, network card, graphics card, hard drive, front-side bus, media drives (diskette floppies, CD-Rom, DVD-Rom, etc…), power supply, heat sinks, and cooling fans. That is the basic list for a PC at least. The list for a Mac looks more like fluffy bunny, kitten’s purr, unicorn smiles, and good feelings (of superiority).

Anyway… if anything goes wrong in that laundry list that component has to be replaced prior to the machine working again. I have been expecting my 5 year old pc to start shutting some of these systems down because, well, it is 5 years old. So, it did not surprise me on Saturday evening when I was un-able to use my home PC. What surprised me was the component that had gone south (by “south” I do mean metaphorically where technology don’t shine, Alabama). It turns out that my monitor was borked.

Now, I don’t know if many of you out there in cyberland have ever tried to use a computer without a monitor… It is more difficult than one might imagine. Typically I would not usually list the monitor as something that might go wrong with a PC because it is not really associated directly with the box that is the PC. No screen makes computing HARD!

So Sunday morning I was at Best Buy getting a new monitor. I also priced out a new PC to go with said monitor. I maybe should have gotten the 2 bundled in a package deal, but I feel that further investigation into modern PC info is necessary. My knowledge of top-of-the-line PC components seems to stop about 4.7 years ago. I am slowly trying to re-acquaint myself with the modern PC component list. Buying a new PC is very similar, to me, as buying a new car.
I hear they are up to quad-cores now.

To recap
Still have much to do on the old “to do” list
We have to get a toilet and sink tonight
The plumbing for the new bathroom is going in this week
Yipppeeee!
This weather shifting stuff is killing my head
Why, hello, Fluffy
It has indeed been a long time
Not long enough if you ask me…
Listening to Monkey Wrench by the Foo Fighters off of The Colour and the Shape

Digital Thursday

It is digital Thursday and I am going to regale you with some Scarecrow pics. All of these are of the Batman super villain, the Scarecrow. Ooooooh scary.

The initial offering was what I posted in the sketch challenge that I attempt to enter into weekly. It is all graphite on paper, and done by traditional methods only.

The second offering is the same pic having been tweaked for color rather quicklyt in Photoshop.

The third offering is the final version with some textural touches added to it.

That’s all for Digital Thursday

To recap:
Wifey is heading out of town tomorrow morning
She will be back Monday afternoon
I will miss her greatly
Little Man will miss her more
Because Little Man will be stuck with me
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
It’s an insane sinus headache!
Have a great weekend everyone

A good day

Today was a good day. I can tell already that the overall impression of today will be good.

“Why was it good, even though it isn’t done yet?” you ask.

Stop interrupting me and I will tell you.

Today, even though it involved an hour long conference call was good because of something I got to say. Today, even though I got to work late and had to get 2 things finished in less than 15 minutes was good because when I said that something, the person I said it to understood. Today, even though it is the middle of the work week was good because when I said it and the person understood it the ultimate results were exactly what I was looking for.

Here is a transcription of the transaction as near as I can recall it*.

Me: Can I have the 10 inch baked chicken, light on the onions and with ranch on the side?
Guy behind the counter: Sure. Anything else?
Me: Chips and a drink, oh, and can you bacon that up?
Guy behind the counter: /snicker… Yeah, we can “bacon” that up

And, lo, when the sandwich was brought forth there was bacon, and the ranch was on the side.

Today was a good day because not only did I get to use “Bacon” as a verb, I also got to eat bacon and the ranch dressing was on the side.

To recap:
Digital Thursday is tomorrow
I need some more stuff for that
Maybe I will make something new tonight
Parents are coming back through for dinner tomorrow
It should be nice
I hope the conversation does not revolve around their financial situation again
I should have gotten the sandwich on wheat
Then it would have been healthy
My head is killing me today
Hello, Fluffy
Just for clarification purposes of the above story

*Some details were deliberately omitted, some details were accidentally omitted, and some details were neither deliberately nor accidentally omitted. We call those details “included.”

20 Questions Tuesday: 58 - Little Man questions

Yesterday I decided that today’s 20 Questions were going to be given by none other than Little Man himself. So I took it upon myself to scribble down his questions as I remembered them and in some cases, as he asked them. This usually led to other questions, but that is no matter. Here are a smattering of the questions I received between the hours of 6:45 am and 8:30 am in no particular order.

On to the questions:

1. Why are you still sleeping?
Because it is 6:45 in the morning and I didn’t fall asleep until 2:30.

2. Can… can… can… I have some red juice?
No, you cannot have any red juice while you are in our bed. You have spilled your juice in Mama and Papa’s bed 3 times in the past 3 weeks. No more juice in bed for you.

3. Was I a singing kitty?
If one defines “kitty songs” as screeching and, well, caterwauling, then, yes, yes you were a singing kitty.

4. Hey… hey… hey… Where my cheese slices?
I am cutting them. Sheesh, gimme a second here, kiddo. Block faux cheese doesn’t slice itself.

5. Why don’t you play with me? (repeated 4 times rapidly before I could answer the first)
Because I am cutting up your frikkin’ cheese!

RE: The Marble Run (FYI: his doesn’t have the motorized elevator… yet)
6. Why there are 9 of them (marbles)?
Because you found 1 more than when you only had 8.

7. Is mine done?
Yes, you have used all of your marbles.

8. Why don’t you start yours?
I don’t want to lose my marbles.

9. Why you’re going to wait?
Because I am slowly losing my marbles.

10. Why don’t we build a new one?
By “we” you mean “Papa,” right?

11. Why new one not done yet?
Because God’s sense of humor has a bit of a bite to it.

RE: Train Table
13. Why… why… why… where is the spiral engine?
Have you tried looking in you train bucket? You haven’t even looked anywhere yet, have you? It is right next to your train table with the other engines.

14. Where is the box?
We had to put the box away (author’s note: the box was one of the Thomas recall items because of its red letters) because it could be bad for you

15. Where Norfolk Southern engine? (near tears)
Have you tried looking in you train bucket? You haven’t even looked anywhere yet, have you? It is right next to your train table with the other engines.

RE: Trains on DVD
16. Why that one going so slow?
I have no idea, I also don’t know why it is continuously blowing its horn. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop…

17. See that mean looking Conrail? Why does it look so mean?
I didn’t realize that that actual train engines could look “mean.” My Bad.

RE: Yo Gabba Gabba
18. Why Muno got one eye? Why that how he was born?
Muno was not born. Muno is a creation of some sick demented soul who happened to major in early childhood education. He has one eye because they need a character on the show with no depth perception. You know, they needed a clumsy foil.

19. Is his name Flex?
No, it is Plex. Flex customizes cars for the insanely wealthy.

20. What going on?
I have no effing clue…

To recap:
Sweet Jebus, Wifey, come home soon!
I sooo need to sleep
Badly
Little Man’s first day of preschool for the year was today
It was pretty “meh” on all accounts
I asked him, “Do you think you are going to like pre-school this year?”
He responded “Well, I don’t know. Looks like we will have to wait and see”
Guess who’s in the house?
Fluffy’s in the house!

I think it is supposed to rain

F: 6 of 26

Today I asked Wifey to give me the random letter to use for the fourth installment of the Randomized Alphabet of SRH. She gave me the sixth letter of the English alphabet, F. Honestly, other than the kick off of A, she has supplied me with the randomness that is the Non-linear Alphabetic posts of SRH.

F: Big F, little f, F...f...F Four fluffy feathers on a Fiffer-feffer-feff.

The letter F is a tough one. But it thinking on it has caused me to alter the idea of my Randomly Assigned Alphabet of SRH to the Alphabetic Haphazard Jumble of SRH’s Blog. Therefore, F is for Headaches as shown through Fluffy, the pine marten in my skull.
Hello Fluffy!

Usually I only flash up Fluffy’s picture when I am experiencing severe head pain. Oddly, that is not today. I am a bit surprised that I don’t have a blinding headache at the moment since there was such a significant weather shift in the past 2 days. That usually triggers the old noggin pain.

Headaches have been a part of my life for a long long time. On the under 12 soccer team for which I played, my nickname was “headache.” I can only assume it was because I missed a number of practices due to cranial acheage. Surely, it wasn’t because I was a pain in the coach’s ass. No, that couldn’t be it at all, definitely the missed practices due to nonspecific head pain.

As it is, I have started seeing the warning signs of my migraine headaches much earlier. So luckily, I have been able to mitigate them before they become full blown immobilizing headaches of doom. I cannot say that I get migraines often, but I definitely get them more than rarely. Therefore most of the headaches I suffer from are not migrainal, just average everyday run of the mill headaches. Most of the non-migraintorial headaches tend to be sinus headaches. Fluffy, the pine marten in my skull, is usually associated with the sinus pressure in my cranial area wanting to escape but having no where to go. It is much like an unfortunate woodland creature clawing its way out of a tiny enclosure.

Fluffy has transcended from being a one time throw-away image illustrating the pain in my head, to being an on-going theme of the blog with it’s own label.

To recap:
F is for Headache
Deal with it
Little Man got $5 in an Easter card yesterday
He immediately used the card as a tunnel on his train table
And decided that he was going to use the $5 at “the train show”
I believe he spent his $5 at a local train store today for a Sante Fe hopper carI think Wifey had to chip in
Then she bought a swing set for him
I need to disassemble said swing set
And then assemble it again
Not looking forward to that
Little Man ate a boat load of ravioli last night
"A boat load," I say, "A boat load."
Have a great weekend everyone

unexpected

I am going to buck traditional thought and not post about my long weekend trip. I am not going to regale you with anecdotes about bad drivers and overly spicy pizza sauce. I will not blather on incessantly about seeing old friends and the laughter that follows these kinds of re-unions. I will not bore you with tales of angst at being away from Little Man nor with how re-asserting limits on the tyke is a chore in and of itself when Wifey and I returned. Mostly, I will not give you a play by play of how the weekend went. You would all find that as boring as I would whence writing it. That is just how vacations go. They do not translate well into prose for others who didn’t partake of the vacation. So, since most of you were not part of my long weekend, I shall not bore you with details of said weekend.

Instead, I shall bore you with my typical 25 step process for writing a post.

1. I open up my word processing software of necessity
2. I stare at the blank document for a minute
3. Shut down the word processing software because I cannot think of a damn thing to write
4. Call Wifey and see if she has some topics at hand that she can give me
5. Re-open the word processing software
6. Stare at the blank page some more
7. Start writing a post
8. Erase what I wrote
9. Start again
10. Erase again (lather, rinse, repeat…)
11. Figure out some of the recap
12. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead
13. Look over the drivel I just wrote
14. Spell check within the word processing program
15. Be appalled that “blog,” “blogging,” “blogger,” “bloggish,” “blogariffic,” “blogetc…” are not in the word processor’s lexicon
16. Be impressed with myself for coming up with the word “lexicon” in my head (every day occurence)
17 Copy and paste everything into Blogger
18. Format text within Blogger
19. If the post requires pics, find the pics
20. Attach said pics (not attaché pics, because that would be silly)
21. Link where links are necessary
22. Preview
23. Stand back and admire the “work”
24. Publish
25. Look at the blog to see the post in situ

Bored yet?

To recap:
Sadly, the building is not a burnt out husk
So, I have to work today.
Fluffy the headache Marten is back in town! Hey, Fluffy! Nice to see you again! Please go away!
Interesting take on Underdog going on over here
Disturbing take on Underdog here
Little Man’s OT evaluation was this morning
We are a little un-happy with the assessment process
Wifey was, in her words, “Unimpressed”
I am sure many if you (probably 2 of you) are curious about the weekend
Well, it was a really great time
It was odd though, since 4 of the 8 people were unawares of the whole blog
And the 4 who knew about it, didn’t really want to clue the other half in
OOooooooh secrets
Without any childrens around and my lack of sleep, there was a panoply of cursing
“A panoply,” I say, “A PANOPLY!”
I forgot how much I relied on the vile language whilst I was in college
I forgot how much of an artiste I was with the vulgar colloquial aspects of linguistics
I was a master, my brush was a suite of interchangeable base words, and my pièce de résistance was the shocked looks of others
Tomorrow is 20 Questions Tuesday: 33 – Time (part 2)
Quotes from the weekend:
You are all my friends and all, but you are all basically peons
I don’t want to hear your goddamned life story, just order your damn food

Deal Breakers

So in our search for a different child care set up for Little Man Wifey and I have run into some deal breakers for childcare.

The first of the deal breakers has been the lack of part time daycare availability in the area. Some places say they do part time (not full week) but they are lying through their plaque ridden teeth. Most places have only a limited amount of part time spaces, and oddly enough, they are all filled up. Most places say that they offer part-time because they feel that you, as the parents, can just decide not to bring your kid in on all 5 workweek days. You pay for 5 days a week, but only have to use the place the days that you want. Well, thanks a bunch guys. Other places set up their daycare like a timeshare. We can only use them as a part-time child care facility if we can find someone who is willing to have their kid take Little Man’s slot on the days that he isn’t there. I like to think of the other kid like those seat fillers at the Golden Globes and the Oscars. So far only one place we have contacted has full on part-time capability, and Wifey has called a shit-ton of the places recently.

The second of the deal breakers is their food allergen policy. I mean seriously. In this day and age with the prevalence of lethal and near lethal reactions to the major 8 food allergens, a daycare should have some kind of food allergen policy in place. Each facility should at least be tree-nut and peanut free. That is a no brainier, but the facilities should also have a policy in place for people with multiple food allergies. I am not saying that all child-care places should be tree-nut, peanut, dairy, egg, soy, wheat, fish and shellfish free, but they should have at least an idea of what they could do to ensure the health and safety of a child who has multiple food allergies. For the record, I do think that most places should also be fish and shellfish free, because, that is just weird to have tilapia and lobster out on the snack table.

The third of the deal breakers is location. The realty maxim of “Location, Location, Location” also matter when dealing with child care. It does no good if the potential childcare is a 40 minute commute from where we live or our relative places of work. Some of the more attractive places are across town from where either of us even remotely roam. One would think that places would abound near us, but they all have issues with the idea of 3 days a week with food allergies.

The fourth of the deal breakers is environment. Well, more to the point, this deal breaker happens to be about carpet and small furry creatures. I am amazed at how many day care facilities have carpet. With the number of spills and messes associated with kids, I would think that a surface that could be hosed down makes the most sense. If we were currently building with Splashy McSpillsalot in our household, Wifey and I would be hard-pressed not to have cement floors in all the rooms with drains on all the floors. Not to mention Little Man’s asthma. Carpet is a bad thing for him. It traps stuff in it that makes him cough. Again, I am not saying that all places need to be carpet free, but our kid’s asthma kind of necessitate it for or decision making purposes. The asthma and his allergy to most things furry also mean there should not be any hamsters, guinea pigs, marmots, ferrets, cats, dogs, rhinos, etc.. as class pets. Not to mention cedar chips don’t really work. They just make the poop and pee smell like it has been in a cedar chest.

The fifth of the deal breakers is murals. Not all murals, mind you, just the murals that depict hippos as kindly, happy go lucky friends to people. Those animals are vicious killers. Most African animal encounter deaths are due to the hippo. They are insanely territorial and murderous slavering beasties. My son, heir to my self imposed moniker, Natural Hippopotamus Enemy, will not… nay… can not abide in an environment that makes hippos seem that friendly, cuddly friends. It would be like having murals of cartoony dictators plastered over the walls for the kids to play with. You know, like murals of a dancing Ivan, the Terribly Fun for Kids, and Ghengis Duck Duck Goose Khan.

The sixth and final deal breaker is their stance on cryptozoological existence. Little Man’s uncle happens to be a half Yeti. Most pre-schools and daycares discourage children from believeing that yetis and bigfoots (bigfeet?) okay… sasquatches, amoks, elves, jabberwockies, satyrs, dryads, nyads, trolls, giants, unicorns, dragons, jack-a-lopes, etc… exist. The odd thing is they are more than willing to propogate the holiday entities charade. Oooh, look it's Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy (wait, the Toothe Fairy isn't associated with a holiday, nevermind). Well if they feel that cryptos don’t exist, they are denying Little Man’s uncle’s existence (well, half his existence anyway) and that is not acceptible.

To recap:
Looks like we have solid child care for the next few weeks at least
Back to the normal schedule
And therefore the normal posting schedule
Not that this schedule ever really changed
Little Man wore his jammies to “work” today
Who wouldn’t want to wear jammies to work
I have one of those headaches today Yep, one of those pine marten trying to escape the confines of my skull headaches
Stupid weather
Our questionnaire for in home/private childcare is going to be rather interesting, isn’t it?

Sorry for the lateness of the post today, Blogger was acting wonky

My Itenerary

So, as a magical interlude to my work filled day, I met Wifey and Little Man for lunch today at the Benevolent Regent of Ground Beef (Burger King). It is always nice to see the fam in the middle of a work day. It is always bittersweet though

Midday lunches with the fam remind me of why I have to work. The family needs shelter and heat and whatnot, and my employment allows for those provisions. It galvanizes me to be a productive member of society and provide for my family. I know that for my child to be successful in life, by whatever definition Wifey and I determine for his youth and by whatever definition he edits ours into for his adulthood, the basics of survival are absolute necessities. I help to provide him with shelter, food, and clothing. Without those essentials, his survival is suspect. Coupled with those basic essentials, Little Man has some other requirements. These entail his medications and, sadly, his train addiction. For him to thrive in any environment now, he requires both intensive asthma medication and extensive wooden train track with long freight trains. My working helps to provide him with his primary essentials as well as his secondary essentials and any other creature comforts to which he has become acclimated.

Midday lunches with the fam also remind me of why I don’t want to work. Hanging out with them is entirely more fun than working. I would much rather play “remote control” with Little Man than work on joining together vectors to create a nice EOP polygon for some public involvement piece for a meeting in Cleveland sometime in late January. The process of joining together arcs and vertices is waaaay more tedious than turning Little Man upside down and tickling his belly. Seeing the little one and Wifey remind me of how much fun my family is. Lunch today was all smiles and giggling. Going home with them would extend that period of fun and giggles. Ah, but these three paragraphs are simply a set up for the reason for this post. This is merely the action sequence at the beginning of MacGyver episode, the action scene that shows Mac finishing up a previous mission. The beginning of a show that illustrates Mac’s kick assitude, but is not wholly germane to the episode’s plot itself. It is the scene that gets you ready for the actual episode to follow.

Upon leaving the fast food establishment of choice for Little Man, the joyful 3.42 year old informed me of what the rest of my day was to be like while I was buckling him up in his carseat.

Papa, come home in Papa’s car?
No, I have to go back to work.
Papa go back to work and take a nap?
No, Papa has to go back and work at work.
No! Papa go back to work and take nap. After nap, Papa send 5 emails and watch trains on computer.
Is that what I am going to do today?
Yes, nap. Then 5 emails. Then watch trains on computer.

It turns out that was to go back to work and take a nap. When I get up from said nap, I am to send 5 emails and then watch trains on Youtube. If only.

To recap:
MacGyver would have kicked everyone’s ass if he had a Leatherman or any subsequent multi-use tool
Good Lord, he did WHAT!?!?! with a Swiss Army Knife…what could that man have done with pliers?
Had a visitor to the house last night

That’s right, Fluffy the Headache Pine Marten
An unwelcome visitor
It has been a while since he visited last
I need to set my head down on my desk and take a nap
Per the instructions of my child
I cannot disappoint him, can I?

Awwww, Nuts!

Okay, I don’t quite understand this necessity of Wifey. I understand that when she gets a culinary craving, and I mean serious, get out of her way craving, that she must sate that craving rather quickly. I also understand that I am often the beneficiary of her impromptu baking flurries. She will get a craving and suddenly need, NEED I tell you, brownies, cookies, fudge, etc… That evening, whatever evening it is, she will bake ferociously (sometimes into the wee hours of the morning) until her baked goods are completed and cooling on a rack somewhere.

Side Note: I feel it necessary that everyone know the Wifey does not tend to have these craving terribly often. Maybe once every 2 or 3 months… at most. It is probably much less often than that, if I really think about it.

Anyway… to the point of this post. Why in the name of Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess*, does Wifey insist on putting nuts in everything she bakes. Walnuts, almonds, pecans, peanuts, etc… in fudge, brownies, and cookies. Nary a damn baked good comes out of our oven that she has prepared that does not have some nut (“nut” not Nut, the Egyptian Goddess of the Sky) embedded within its baked goodness.

Now, I am not here to just rant against adding hard shelled seeds to bakes goods. I am ranting about adding hard shelled seeds to ALL her baked goods. Baked goods do not always need a nut in them. Cookies don’t have to contain a walnut piece or almond sliver before that are considered a cookie. Heck, she even wants white cake to be frikkin’ “White ALMOND Cake.” Lay off the nuts, Wifey! Wait, that was phrased poorly. Let me try again. Ummm… nope, there really isn’t a good way to phrase that one. Just disregard this post entirely. This post is over, folks! Just, move along. Move along…

To recap:
I have a splitting headache
Looks like Fluffy the Pine Marten has decided to take residence in my skull again

We determined that last night’s brownies were the last nutty baked goods that she will be producing in our kitchen due to Little Man’s allergies
When he wasn’t all over the place, it was not so bad to get some walnut dust and scrapings on the counter
Now, it could be a problem
Pancakes and sausage for dinner
Everyone have a good weekend



*note: A friend of mine figures that Ba’al is out there just waiting for someone to recognize him/her as a god, but then, when hears how he is being referenced, the god/dess is distraught about his/her characterization. It is just a little trick we like to play on the Babylonian Mythos. It is the equivalent of a prank call on a diety.

Vending

For the past 1.5 years at my office we have been down to one snack machine and 2 different drink machines (one for cans and one for bottles). This weekend the vending machine fairies deposited 3 new machines in our auspicious office. Again, they are in the same distribution: one snack machine and 2 drink machines (one for cans and one for bottles). So I saw the machines this morning and thought to myself “more variety is always good.” If by more variety I meant “variety of purchasing place” I would be a happy man right now. Turns out that the machines are mere copies of the craptastic selection we had before our snack machine capacity doubled.

One would think with a full 100% greater vending capacity there would at least be a 25% increase in vending machine variety. In our building, one would be wrong. Horribly horribly wrong. For example: Say that last week I wanted a crappy little bag of chips (crisps for the Britons. “Hello, Britons.”) SAY IT!!

Anyway… my choices were Ruffles, Doritos, and plain old crappy chips. So, let’s say that I want a bag of chips (again, crisps for the British readers). SAY IT!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO SAY IT!!!!

Anyway… my choices are Ruffles, Doritos, and plain old crappy chips, but in 2 locations. Do you see the difference? It is subtle, I completely understand if you need a minute to ponder out the intricacies.

While I wait I will look at a picture of the pine marten that lives in my skull, Fluffy.

The weather has been abysmal lately. It has been dreary and rainy all week, which has awakened the marten’s tenuous slumber…

Back to the story at hand... You see, the problem with having 2 vending areas with the same choices is that you have not increased variety in the least. What is the point of adding more vending when (a) you are not increasing the universe of choices for the vendee and (b) you never really sold out of anything when you only had one set of vending machines? They have increased capacity while doing nothing to demand, yet the prices are the same. Simple supply and demand says that the prices should have gone down. Monopolistic jerks…

To Recap:
What’s wrong with adding variety to my vending situation?
No really, what’s wrong with that?
I need to cut the grass
Badly
By “grass” I mean “patch of dandelions”
My music selection is a bit stale on my work pc
It is the same music selection as my home pc
I am getting old
Most new music sounds like a bunch of whiny kids
Any younglings reading this here blog, gimme some musical artists I should look into
If you say “Nickleback” or “My Chemical Romance” I will find a way to ban your IP
I will...

Abdominal

There is a whole bunch of confusion out there about crytpozoologicals. Many people think that the yeti is the same as a sasquatch or a wild-man, but they are sadly misinformed. Sadly, sadly misinformed, indeed. You see, sasquatches and wild-men are sweet and gentle descendants of Gigantopithecus, while the Yeti is descended from conniving hellspawn. That is why the yeti is also known as the “Abominable Snowman,” while the sasquatch is known as “Bigfoot,” and the wild-man is known as “that bear like thingy.” With the Yeti, there is the modifier “Abominable,” as in abomination (as opposed to abdominal, as I thought they were referred to as a kid, don’t get me wrong, they do have abs of steel, {they do a shit-ton of sit-ups… daily}, but it would be silly to refer to them as the “Abdominal Snowman,” down right silly.), but there are no negative modifiers with sasquatch or the wild-man.

The reason is that yetis are, in general, jerks. No good, kick you while you are down, jerks. So, for all of you out there who think I have a beef with all the cryptozoologicals out there, I don’t. It is just yetis, in general… and that no-calling-back bastard Ogopogo… and Mokele-mbembe owes me a dinner, but other than that, no beefs. None at all…


To recap:
No one noticed that the “person” I chose to ride shotgun with was Fluffy, the pine marten who resides within my skull
Hi, Fluffy!
I would essentially have been riding shotgun with something that was riding shot gun with me…
How narcissistic is that?
The problem with having a 12 pack of grape soda on my desk, is that I find it incredibly easy to drink lots of them daily
I am okay with sasquatches
No, really…
And the odd wild-man
It is those damn yetis that you have to look out for
One Yeti knows why he has incurred my wrath
I call him “the Yeti”
Oh, yes, the Yeti knows why…

20 questions, cause I am uninspired

Okay, due to lack of motivation, I will be doing 20 questions again. Stop grumbling

1. Is there a type of question I could ask that would guarantee my inclusion?

Well, responding to my call for questions puts you in the running. Responding quickly boosts your chances. Responding first… guaranteed.

2. Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

Atwhay, inay ethay Ellhay isa isthay apcray? Iyay antcay eadray isthay…Ohyay, itshay, ownay iyay amyay oingday ityay.

3. If there's a story of a broken heart for every light on Broadway, does that explain population spikes following power outages?

Well, not exactly. If all the lights broke during the outage, then sure, but just because the power goes out does not mean that the lights were broken. Now there is typically a baby boom 9 months after a major outage. I think it is due to people have idle time on their hands, if you know what I mean, /wink /wink /nudge /nudge a wink’s as good as a nudge, KnowwhatImean? KnowwhatImean?

4. If you could ride shotgun in the mind of anyone from any time, who would you pick, and why?

Ride shotgun or place shotgun against? Oh ride… ummmm… that is a toughy. I already have the other list prepared. Well, I would have to pick an English speaker, because I don’t want to be couped up in anyone’s skull and not speak the language. That certainly narrows it… I would choose him...

5. Eggplant or pi?

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993753...
but eggplant is purple... 154269854782236985422365311578964565...

6. Is Easter becoming the spring version of Christmas with respect to gift giving?

It kind of is. Let me clarify, At Christmas time people do not get each other things for the Spring to come. A spring gift shouldn’t be given in December. Also since there are now “easter trees” that folks decorate with eggs and baskets hold as much as stockings, we’ve pretty much gotten rid of the religious significance of this holiday as well.

7. Why is it so hard for people to see beyond their abusive/compulsive relationships/lives?

People typically do not enter into a relationship that is abusive and/or compulsive because it is abusive and/or compulsive. They get into the relationship for other reasons, and they stay due to those other reasons as well. As for why people can’t see beyond their lives, well in general it is difficult for a whole bunch of people to look past themselves.

8. Am I in denial?

Yes, about what, we do not know….

9. "Hot Italians" - why do people like them?

I think any sub sandwich is just as good as the next one. If you like salami, capricola, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, and peppers on a sandwich, good for you.

10. Is it okay to eat bread that you have seen a spot of mold on, but removed that portion?

God, I hope so… Although, there was this one case where a lady died and in the autopsy they found bread mold on her brain. Yeah, and another case where this guy died because he had bread mold on his heart… You see, the mold actually reaches much further than just where the spot is visible, and clearly human organs are perfect hosts for bread mold. The 2 ideal places for bread mold: Bread and human organs

11. Is it worse for a lady to have visible leg hair or armpit hair stubble?

I would have to go with the pit stubble. Visible leg hair denotes a conscious decision, stubble denotes poor time management and sometimes lack of conviction

12. Would you or have you ever dressed up in a super hero costume?

I am not at liberty to say (the government records are still sealed)

13. What is your biggest challenge right now? (and don’t say getting enough sleep, we all know you’re tired)

The Yeti… he knows why

14. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Ummm, sure, whichever one is in stock at the moment

15. crick or creek?

Personally, creek, but I grew up in an area where it was almost always crik. A crik is something I get in my neck

16. Why is it that networks are always so worried about decency on television when they allowed a show like the Flintstones to run for so long without the men wearing pants?

I don’t think the networks are worried at all about decency on television. They are worried that they will fined for what they show. Completely different motivation – they are trying to protect their assets and interests, not the public good. You know it’s hard out here for a pimp…

17. What posses someone to look at a rottweiler and a dachshund and say I wonder what their puppies would look like?

Is his name Bubba? I mean, “Does it say Bubba on his birth certificate?”

18. Why is it when an animal kills someone we trap it, kill it, and test it but if a person kills someone we sometimes kill them but don't test them?

For what would we test them? Rabies? Cholera? Or would we test things on them such as cosmetics? If we were to test them for rabies and an eyeshadow called Midnight Rendevous, I am all for it.

19. If person A and person B both leave the same destination at the same time but person A travels at 95mph and person B travels at 65mph how long does it take for person B to quit looking at the accident caused by person A and resume traveling at normal speed?

Better yet – does person B have a loud muffler? That will cost you a $100 in court.

20. Food question: car-mel or car-a-mel? mustard or ketchup? (or catsup)? salt or pepper?

a. Car-mel
b. Ketchup
c. both - live together in perfect harmony – side by side on piano keyboard, oh lord, why don’t we?


To Recap:
I am soooo not wanting to be inside today
I think it has something to do with the weather…
Mmmm Calzone for lunch
I need a nap…. Outside
Little Man has discovered ants… and is now afraid of them
Is it bad that we drape a blanket around Little Man’s shoulders and march him to the bed while humming the Imperial March from Star Wars?
Little Man loves this
We think that we have created a monster

You will pay, Yeti...

You

Will

Pay

Un-well

They are currently “renovating” the bathrooms on my side of the building. It will be interesting to see what happens with the renovations. Will the snot on the walls be cleaned off prior to painting or merely be painted over? Curious minds want to know. Will the stalls be replaced with non-rusted stalls? I hear that they are going to be putting in new tile for the floor, but I have heard nothing else.

Oddly enough, they are not currently renovating the worm infested bathroom. That restroom is available for use by all. No one uses it, but it is available. So it at least has that going for it.

I am currently one of those people in the office who should be avoided lest someone wants the horrible sore throaty sickness that has been going around. I have been doing my part though. I cough when I can and touch as many surfaces with my un-washed hands as much as possible. Gimme a break, I can’t use the sink that is less than 20 feet (a tad over 6 meters for my metric fans) away from me. I am not going to walk all the way across the building to wash my hands after every cough when I can easily wipe them on door handles and my co-workers’ desk surfaces that are soo close by. Yes, Misery loves company and Misery sounds like a horse voice and feels like a brick in your head. Thought you should know.

I am not really one of those people who coughs on everything and smears my germs on co-workers’ desks maliciously. I am one of those people who coughs on everything and smears my germs on co-workers’ desks in a spirit of fun. I need more of that Purel crap for my desk. I really do not want to get my co-workers sick. Well, most of my co-workers at least. I have a list of ones on which I wish mild maladies (I’m looking at you ACW!).

That is all I got today. I am afraid that tomorrow my furry friend will have taken up residence in my skull again.


To recap:
Pine Martens are cute and cuddly, except when lodged in ones skull
Currently the US is winning v Poland 1 to nil, in their international friendly Go US
They only have to hold on for 10+ minutes
Stupid cold with its stupid sore throat!
I might have something coherent tomorrow, but I wouldn’t count on it

Meme is the word

Man, am I tired. All of the usual suspects for my sleep deprivation seem to not be the culprits this time as well. I am at a loss for the fatigue, but not at a loss for fatigue. Funny how that works. My creative juices are lacking a bit of “juice” at the moment, so I will simply do one of the tons of meme questionnaires that are out there.

Deal with it.

I stole this from http://www.ministryofinformation.co.uk/

Unique
1. Nervous habits
I tap my fingers to my thumb from index finger to pinky and back again. Over and over and over and over and over…

2. Are you double jointed?
My elbow hyper-extends somewhat, and my right shoulder can partially come out of its socket, but I am not sure I would consider it “Double-Jointed”

3. Can you roll your tongue?
Yep, I can also flip this bad boy

4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
Yep, the right one

5. Can you blow spit bubbles?
Yep, I grew up in Alabama, but oddly I cannot “gleek” or snakespit

6. Can you cross your eyes?
Yep

7. Tattoos?
Yep, but I am not telling you what or where

8. Piercing
Nope

9. Do you make your bed daily
Nope, I am just going to mess it up again

Clothes
10. Which shoe goes on first?
Typically the right one

11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?
Nope, but I have thought about it

12. On the average, how much money do you carry?
Maybe $3 is what I average

13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
Wedding ring

14. Favorite piece of clothing?
I used to have some favorites, but lately I do not. I had a pair of 13 year old Adidas Magnums that I always wore as well as an olive green boonie.

Food
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Yes, I twirl it or cut it

16. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Yes, pork shoulder and ham is quite tasty

17. Do you use extra salt on your food?
Sometimes, but define extra. If the food needs it to tsate good, is that really “extra?”

18. How many cereals in your cabinet?
3. Smart Start, Cracklin’ Oat Bran, and some other crap

19. What's your favorite beverage?
Fully leaded Mountain Dew

20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
Arby’s, the one with the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Shake

21. Do you cook?
Yup, I cook a whole bunch. Tonight is braised steak with mushrooms, broccoli and cauliflower on rice

Grooming
22. How often do you brush your teeth?
Bi-weekly, whether they need it or not. No really, I have disciplined myself to brush, every other week.

23. Hair drying method?
Towel

24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?
Nope

Manners
25. Do you swear?
Fuck, Yeah!

26. Do you ever spit?
I am right now. Hey, where did everyone go?

Favorites
27. Animal?
Pine Marten, but only if they leave my head alone

28. Food?

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake

29. Month?

May, by this time the weather has stabilized somewhat in Ohio

30. Day?

Tuesday, some of you know why

31. Cartoon?
Old school Warner Brothers Looney Tunes

32. Shoe brand?

Clarks, other companies can make snazzier individual shoes, but Clarks are consistently nice

33. Subject in school?
Nothing from high school, I hated that infernal place. Geometric Topology from college

34. Color?

Deep forest pine green

35. Sport?

Soccer or yeti hunting, I cannot decide

36. TV Shows?

I never get to watch TV that isn’t geared to a 2.5 yr old, but of those, I really do find Lazy Town to be surprisingly funny

37. Thing to do in the spring?

Hike

38. Thing to do in the summer?

Run from yetis. It is training really, I get in shape for the hunting that takes place in the autumn
39. Thing to do in the autumn?

Hunt yetis

40. Thing to do in the winter?

Sleep

In and Around

41. In the CD player?

Jamiroquai, “Travelling Without Moving”

42. Person you talk most on the phone with?

Wifey, but watch the grammar meme? That question was horribly written

43. Reading?

Rift War Saga by Feist

44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors?

Oh, yeah, baby! I am all that and a bag of chips

45. What color is your bedroom?

White, although we are not “into” that whole Shabby Chic thing

46. Do you use an alarm clock?

Yes, but technically since Wifey sleeps on the alarm clock side, Wifey is my alarm clock

47. Window seat or aisle?

Sure, where are we going?

Dumb

48. What's your sleeping position?

Horizontal

49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?

A light one

50. Do you snore?

At one time in my life I didn’t

51. Do you sleepwalk?

Nope, but I do have to pee a bunch while sleeping. That gets to the point of almost sleepwalking

52. Do you talk in your sleep?

Nothing consistently intelligible

53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Nope

54. How about with the light on?

We have the bathroom light on outside of our room

55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?

Sometimes

56. Last interesting person you met?
That is an interesting question, but I really have not met anyone recently, so I will answer No One!

To recap:
Memes are the easy way out of blogging something meaningful.
That is why I usually ask for 20 questions
What the world needs is more bacon
Two strips does not a sandwich make
Man, I need something to blog about

Not sure what the spacing issue is that is going on, but it is an artifact caused by blogger

I have dirty, dirty desk

Sweet Mother of God, I thought it was Friday when I woke up this morning. There were a couple of things that flashed through my head. Number 1: Crap, tomorrow is not Saturday. Number 2: Crap crap, I have to come up with a topic for today’s blog. This blogging is starting to seem like work. Number 3: My Thursday project of cleaning off my desk is still unfinished and I need to get that done today.

If it were Friday; tomorrow would be Saturday, I would not need to make up a topic, and my desk would be clean.

Alas and alack it is indeed Thursday. And my desk really is a sty. It is not a stye. That would mean my desk was inflaming or infecting my eye. My eye isn’t even inflamed, and if it were, I do not think it would be my desk’s fault, especially with all the crap I stick in my eye. All in all it is a good desk. Not really a desk of infectious origins. It is a simple cubicle desk. It really is nothing special, and definitely not a desk of eye infection germination. (man, I am grabbing at straws here, today’s topic seems to be about a desk. How lame. Eh, it is something to talk about though.)

I really do not think I was emotionally prepared for today not to be Friday. I mean, for God’s sake, I have been rambling on about my desk for good paragraph here. Well, not a good paragraph like they teach you in 8th grade English class. Those have a thesis statement, 3 supporting statements and a conclusion sentence. Ah, the perfect 5 sentence paragraph. It has been a long time since I have been forced to turn in the good old 5 sentence paragraph.

Pine martens are not nice creatures. These denizens of the forest are predators. They hunt and kill for pleasure as well as survival. One of them lives in my head and causes me great amounts of pain in the cranial region. I do not like pine martens.



Man I am rambling… mainly to keep from cleaning my desk off. A cluttered desk signifies that I have work that needs done. If I have work that needs done, I clearly need to stay gainfully employed. The powers that be have been curious about all the typing I do though… Too bad I cannot actually touch type. I hunt peck and curse for my typing style. I am envious of people who can type, and more envious of those that have something good to type. I am just blathering, and slowly by typists standards.

To recap:
Thursday… not Friday
Less people would do this if it were called blooging
My desk is not dirty, and has not infected my eye with its mess
I work in a cubicle
Spelling is not my fort
God, that last one kills me
I use 2 fingers and the thumb of my right hand, and only 2 fingers of my left hand to type
It is surprisingly efficient for not being fast, well at least I am noisy at typing
Man, my head is killing me