20 Questions Tuesday 121: Christmas Cards

In many ways the Christmas Card is a yearly reminder that someone is not dead yet.


Everyday for about a week, the family has been getting Christmas Cards in our daily mail. It is a nice change from the bills and spam mail that we are used to, and it leads into the 2 week topic concerning Christmas Cards.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Dr B Dawg, All Rileyed Up, Sparky, and Belsum for the questions.

On to the Questions:
1. Do you feel like you "owe" someone a card next year if they send one to you?
Sadly, sometimes I do feel as if I owe someone a card that they do not really want. Other times I think, “Well that loser just wasted some postage.

2. If a card includes pictures of someone's children, do you feel guilty throwing them away?
If I have had very little exposure to said children or if I am not close with the parents who sent the card, it doesn’t bother me overmuch. I still will most likely throw the pics away, but I will feel sad about it.

3. Do you do something specific and/or decorative with the cards you receive?
We make the mantle of or fireplace become the Holiday Mantle of Shame where people can see and ridicule all the poor saps who know us. Of course, this means they are in our house and therefore should be the target for even more ridicule and potentially even scorn.

4. It's cool that you design your own card each year, don't get me wrong, but why do you feel compelled to do it?
I love playing with Photoshop and it is a skill that I feel I am fairly good with that my job does not call on very often. So I typically enjoy the process of making a card. In my opinion it makes the card seem a bit more like it is from our family.

5. How many cards to you typically send?
In the years past it has been between 30 and 50, but really Wify is the one with this information. I make the crads, she sends them.

6. What is the family phrase for smiling on cue for the Christmas picture?
Well, Little Man is partial to “Money” and I find saying “Egg-nog” pretty frikkin hilarious, but tradition calls for “Cheese” for the entire family.

7. Did your family ever do the family portrait card or is it a new tradition for you?
My family growing up was never very good with cards. I can remember only 1 or 2 years that we actually sent cards out, so the annual process of card sending is new to me since the marriage.

8. Have you ever thought of dressing up as reindeer for the photo?
Nope, that is too expected

9. Will this year's version play A Charlie Brown Christmas?
Nope, Unless you would like to play A Charlie Brown Christmas upon receiving the card.

10. What font will you be using? Lucinda calligraphy, helvetica
This year’s card used Ananda, Comic Sans MS, and Fantique Four.

11. How many people on your Christmas card list?
On the list? Probably about 75. We cull the before we send cards out. This year, I think more people will get the cards though.

12. Do you keep a few extra lying around in case you receive cards from people you didn't initially send one to?
Typically, no. We usually have just enough for our rather tight list.

13. What is your opinion on cards that play music when you open them?
I dislike musical cards. I guess I feel like cards should be an intimate exchange between the sender and the receiver, when music plays anyone within earshot can participate.

14. What is the best use for old Christmas cards?
Kindling

15. What, no Hanukkah or kwanza cards?
Not from our household. We have a hard enough time preparing for a single day celebration. Those 2 festivals are multi-day affairs. I don’t have the stamina for multi-day holiday fetes .

16. What do you think about going paperless and sending e-cards to save trees?
Funny you should ask. This year we decided to go paperless (as much as possible… some of the relatives don’t have the email). This was a conscious decision that we made in October. No one really keeps Christmas cards and if you would like ours on your mantle, you can print it out on your own. Preventative procrastination or environmental activism? You be the judge

17. I didn’t send cards last year. Did anybody notice?
I surely didn’t…

18. Do you stop sending cards to people if they don’t send one back to you? How long do you wait before cutting them off?
It depends on the person. I do not believe we have ever gotten a Christmas Card from Capt McArmypants, but he is a guy and single and, well, he would never send anyone a card, so we send him cards regardless every year. Now some of the acquaintances that we kinda would like to send cards if we have enough get 2 years.

19. Christmas letters: a great way to catch up or annoying bragging and filler?
It really depends on if any information is really imparted by the letter. If it is not silly and funny and/or doesn’t get us caught up with a family in a touching way, it is useless to us and should be destroyed for wasting our valuable time.

20. How long do you display photo cards on your fridge (or mantle or bulletin board or wherever) before taking them down for the year?
They stay up until, at most, Martin Luther King Jr Day. They usually get pitched when the decorations get put away though.


To recap:
The card is almost done
Wifey needs to write up some text and then we are sending these bad boys out
If anyone whom I do not already pester for 20 questions would like a card, please email me through the contact information on my profile
It is no skin off our backs if you get our e-card
I think it is sausage barley soup tonight
Mmmmm sausage barley soup
Has anyone else wanted to break out into some Michael Jackson signature moves for no apparent reason in the hall of where they work?
Not that I have or anything…
Listening to With or Without You by U2
Goodness I am old

3 Things

There are basically 3 things to chat about after this weekend…umm ended. I give them to you with no conscious bias.

Thing the First:
I need to start exercising again. No only am I exponentially expanding at the moment, but my knees are getting rather loose. I have noticed during the “Q-Why-Won’t-You-Go-To-Sleep?” dance that both of my knees are all over the place (and not in a good way). It is time for me to start carving out time to go and sweat like I haven’t in a long while. I am not happy with this, but I knew that this time would come again. If I could only find some exercise that I actually liked.

Thing the Second:
It is both a good and bad thing having a grocery store just down the street from your abode. It is good because if you need one or two ingredients to finish up a recipe you don’t have to travel far. It is bad, on the other hand, because it is very easy to just jump down to the grocery store without planning a weekly meal schedule.

Between Wifey and myself, our family averages 1.5 trips to the grocery store a day. That’s right we go to the store more than once daily. When we plan out a menu for the week and go for one big trip per week we have found that we have more time to do other things that need doing, and don’t spend nearly as much. We keep saying that making weekly comprehensive grocery store trips is imperative and we need to just “do it,” but we constantly find ourselves not. That is something that needs to change.

Thing the Third:
The Christmas Card is well underway this year. In fact, it will be the subject of this week’s digital Thursday. I started work on it last night around 10pm and before I knew it, the clock had moved forward to 1:30 am. So much for good sleep. In the end, I think the card will be well worth it. Alas and alack, poor readers you shall have to wait until Thursday to peruse the holiday card for ’08.

To recap:
One thing that buying vast amounts of Christmas presents has taught me is that I eat out for lunch entirely too much
Re: Exercising: I am afraid I might have to start doing ab workouts as well
I hate ab workouts
Is there a stronger word than “hate?”
If so, that is what I do concerning ab workouts
Any guesses as to the subject matter of this year’s Christmas cards?
No guessing if you have had a peek
I will give you a hint, all four of us are in it
Individually
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
Can you feel the excitement?
Listening to You’re So Damn Hot by OK Go.

Digital Thursday

Digital Thursday has come again and I have very little to show for it. Actually all I have are the digital tutorials I have been doing within Photoshop to share.

The first is a denim texture built from scratch. Openned up a blank document and used filters and effects as well as the dodge and burn tools to get the final effect.

The second is a rust texture, which I have heard from others is “OK” but lacking in the flakiness that rust typically has. I told them to make their own rust texture and leave me alone. They did… and now I am lonely.

The issue that I have had so far with the Photoshop tutorials is that they are very good at giving step by step instructions as to how one accomplishes the very specific result that the tutorial is designed to create, but the techniques defined are difficult to translate into non-denim making reasons (for example). Don’t get me wrong, it did teach me a bit about the dodge and burn tools, but other than that it was pretty much just about the denim.

The bed-time ritual tonight will most likely involve a movie night for the boy. Wifey is working until around 8 tonight and Little Man and Q will be left to my inadequacies. Goody for them. I really have not learned how to juggle the attention between the 2 kids as of yet. It seems so far that as I focus on one the other needs attention. It is a tough act, and I do not feel it is okay to say to either kid, “Suck it up, buttercup” just yet. Although, Little Man has done his share of sucking it up.

To recap:
Luckily there is food to be eaten at the house
Because I would like dinner
Yes, dinner sounds nice
Something with leftover brats or maybe a cheap pizza
Prolly the former
There is a better chance of being able to eat a leftover brat and rice or something than the chance of wolfing down a frozen ‘za
Did you see that? I just coined a new slang term for pizza
I am soooo street
Wait, the “soooo” cancelled out the streetness of “’za,” didn’t it?
And by “streetness” I do mean suburban middle class middle aged white guy version of street
Listening to Wallflowers by MC Frontalot
Have a great weekend everyone

No overlap

So… all the stuff that needed to get done yesterday is, well, done. That unfortunately leaves me with nothing productive to do at work. Some might think that this would lead to mischief and mayhem, but some don’t realize just how lazy I am. Mischief takes planning and mayhem takes effort. On the days that I have one, the other is missing. On the days that I have both, there is other stuff that must be done. It is the way of life.

Now I am sitting at my desk with very little to do and even less motivation to get it done. In many ways it has become a contest between my lack of motivation and the few tasks that need to be accomplished. This particular competition is scored much like golf.

I think the biggest problem with the tasks that I have waiting for me is that they are supposedly skill building, but they are about building skills that should remain dormant and unexplored. Database management systems? Yeee-uck… CADD software training? That is not my cup-o-tea. If the personal skill set building revolved around color theory or zombie slaying I would do the exercises twice. I guess that is one of the biggest issues I have with the working world. The skills that work would like me to build do not cross-over with the skills I would like to build for myself. Work tends to reward those that help the collective abilities of the company while I am more interested in how to level up my hunter in World of Warcraft (turns out it is bby playing more, btw.) This disconnect between the skills that I want to hone and the ones that my work would like me to build make me question if I am in the correct field.

Then again I wonder what field is there in the Columbus, Ohio area that I could dial into with my not-so-great comic book drawing skills, mediocre video gaming skilz, and amazing map making abilities. Methinks that vocation does nigh existe.

To recap:
I think I slept wrong last night
My neck hurts today
The crew made a big mistake not offering Sigi what he wanted
I guess I can find some new Photoshop tutorials
I made some denim the other day
Digital denim
Issues gleaned from that tutorial?
Dodge and burn
Dodge and burn, baby
Listening to Pool Party by the Aquabats!
You don’t even know, dude
There’s gonna be food and girls
And more food
And Mike Tarrudo’s coming

20 Questions Tuesday: 120 - Holiday Season

Since the holiday season is upon us, it only seems appropriate that I give some 20 Question Tuesday time to the topic of the Holidays. This week’s thanks go out to John P, Capt. McArmypants, Mr X, and Nobody Squared.

So without further ado, here come the questions:

1. What holidays do the hippopotami celebrate? Probably something centered on rivers and the water I’m sure.
It is not so much of a “holiday” as just a happy day for the hippopotami, but the first day of flooding is always a nice day for them. That is the day that all their vast amounts of excrement gets washed waaaay downstream by the floodwaters.

2. Are there any atypical holidays you and yours celebrate? Arbor Day, etc.
Yep, Loving Day. It is June 12th, and it is very important, and it is one way to educate people about marriage rights and how much inequity is systematic but changeable.

3. Who in the family is the worst about snooping around for presents?
Probably me, but that is only because Little Man hasn’t figured out how to be truly devious yet… he is getting there though.

4. Are you a holiday decorations fanatic, middle of the road, or low key?
We are pretty middle of the ground when it comes to holiday décor. We used to go hog wild for the Christmas Season, but the pitter-patter of little feet will change those habits really fast.

5. What was with the Thanksgiving Day parade? I haven’t watched in a while but it seemed like one big long commercial for the sponsors.
Well, I assume that is the only way it can survive. It is one of the few events broadcast by multiple companies that does not involve politics in some way shape or form. I am certain the only way it has survived for as long as it has in our fickle cultural landscape is due to its advertising.

6. If you could create your own holiday what would it be and what would the celebrations entail? (would bacon be involved?)
SRH Day? Hmmmm… It would need to be a federal holiday to keep me from going to work that day and I am certain that festivities would involve doughnuts, bacon, ranch dressing, and root beer, but not all in one sitting.

7. Christmas lights are my favorite Christmas "bell & whistle", it totally sets me in a Christmas mood. What thing is your favorite Christmas "bell & whistle"?
I think when I hear Jingle Bells the first time of the season. This year Little Man sang it to me to ring in the Christmas Season. Then I sang it with him. Then I told him to be quiet and go to bed.

8. Holidays seem more lack luster and less meaningful than they did "back in my day". I mean it seems that people are just insular, ungrateful and rude all year now, I could have sworn that people used to lighten up for Christmas and maybe Thanksgiving. (Being in my 30's, I missed the time in U.S. history when people were nicer during any of the summer holidays.) Is that a by product of THE age, MY age or just me regardless of age?
I think it primarily has to do with YOU more than YOUR age or THE age, but I think all three have factors that contribute to decline in Christmas cheer.

9. Usually, I, like most of my gender, fulfill the male SOP (standard operating procedure) of "buy everything that might pass for gift" about a month before Christmas. Please explain this self-destructive phenomena. It seems counter to my own interest, but there it is. I know I am not alone in this.
Ummm… the typical SOP for men is to wait until Christmas Eve and see what is on sale at the 24 hour Wal-Mart. You, Sir, are an odd duck.

10. So what is the most B.S. Holiday? I hate National Boss's Day the most because it usually results in several violations of the Joint Ethics Regulations of the United States, but there are many to choose from, which do you feel is the most idiotic.
Well, I think I am going to be a stickler for the term “Holiday.” In my definition, “holiday” is a day that we get off from working. This limits the number of “named” days to a handful to choose from. With that criteria, it becomes a toss up between Washington’s Birthday and Columbus Day. I chose those 2 days because there are no celebratory fests associated with them other than a sale at Kohl’s.

11. Knowing what you know now, what Christmas toys would you have not asked for. I mean what seemed sooooo AWESOME in the box and about 30 minutes of fun out of the box and then you just played with them every now and then for political reasons?
I really did not have super extravagant Christmases as a kid. I got a skateboard one year that never really worked out for me. That’s the best I got for this question.

12. One SRH household tradition around the Christmas Season.
There are always cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. Cinnamon and brown sugar are nice ways to celebrate.

13. Okay another SRH Household tradition around the Christmas Season.
Okay… I will give you a couple and they all revolve around food. On Christmas Eve, we have Shrimp Fettuccini in a basil and olive oil sauce. It is not a true pesto since there is no cheese involved. On Christmas Day we have a standing rib roast for Christmas Dinner. Don’t you all wish that you were part of the SRH household Christmas meals?

14. Favorite incarnation of Santa Claus?
Hmmm… I am not sure if you mean portrayal or cultural figure. I will go with cultural figure. I like the Finnish, Joulupukki, because he started out as a malevolent spirit that demanded gifts instead of giving them.

15. Do you have all your Christmas shopping done?
Nope, not even hardly.

16. Favorite Christmas Song?
Hmmm…. I like Jingle Bells. As stated above, it makes me think of Christmas and it makes me smile. Little Man is much more sophisticated. He is very much into John Lennon’s Happy Christmas. Kid’s got good taste.

17. What is Little Man getting this year?
Little Man will be making out like a bandit. There will be much loot for him under the tree, but I will refrain from telling about what he is getting. Some secrets are sacred.

18. Any traditions from Wifey that you thought were odd?
I have no idea why she wants to wait and wait and wait to open gifts on Christmas morning. She is all about prolonging the suspense of opening the gifts and the awe and wonder that may lurk inside the different packages, whereas I am much more about getting more time to do stuff with the presents.

19. What does Q think of the Christmas décor?
She is quite enamored with the lights on the tree. In fact, the lights on the tree seem to keep her from going to sleep when we are trying to rock her. And I am pretty sure she would love to gnaw on many an ornament hanging in the house.

20. Do we get to see this year’s Christmas Card?
Yes, in fact this weekend I will be attempting to get the card created. Even though it would be much better with the Four SRH Horsemen of the Apocalypse wishing you a Merry Christmas we will figure something else out.


To recap:
Working diligently today
It is an odd occurrence to say the least
I have many things that yet have to get done
By “many” I mean 3
One of which is drink a Mt Dew
It is a very exacting “To Do:” list
There were 9 items on the list
There are only 3 left, one of which is drink Mt Dew
I am blazing trails today
Listening to Joss Stone belting out Some Kind of Wonderful from the Soul Sessions

Special Agent?

Even in the off-peak Chuck E Cheese is hell on earth.

This weekend Little Man had a birthday party to go to at the local (notice not low-cal) Chuck E Cheese. The party started at 10:30 am on Saturday and there wasn’t an end time given on the invite. I guess that party could have lasted forever.

Little Man had a great time with the general mayhem that accompanies a trip to “the Cheese,” but his papa was not a happy camper. It was nice for the first hour or so because it was not too terribly busy, but around noon the legions arrived in droves demanding their pizza and their fun.
By the end of my penance for what could only have been some kind of heinous double bludgeoning murder of orphaned nuns by a club made entirely of wet and sick kittens (that is the only crime I can think of that would merit such torturous penance), there was a 3 deep wait for the air-hockey table. Did you know that even if no one scores (best 7 of 12) the game will shut down after 15 minutes of unresolved game play? I did not know that gem of a fact until the 2 kids in front of Little Man and I couldn’t get past 3 to 2 for 15 minutes. 15 minutes of frustratingly unproductive puckwork later and Little Man and I were air-hockeying. 2 scores later Little Man said, “I am done with this” and put his puck-hitting-thingy on the table and walked away. I mentioned that I was in Hell, correct?

The whole time I was in this experience I could not help but remember a career day that was held at my high school whilst I was young, vibrant, and significantly less cynical.


…Cue wavy transition with ethereal music…

The man was there telling us about the FBI. That is right, the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He told us about all the cool stuff that the FBI did such as hunting down fugitives, stopping terrorists both international and domestic, defeating organized crime, etc… He went through all the requirements that must be met to place the title “Agent” in front of your last name. College education, background check, rigorous physicals, etc… and 2 years full time employment doing something professional.

We asked Agent Johnston what his 2 years full time experience was. Was he a cop? Did he work in investment banking? Just what did this highly qualified individual do prior to making or country safer from threats domestic and abroad? He hemmed and hawed about what his experience was, and that it really did not matter what the employment was, just as long as it was full time for 2 years straight. So he was not a cop. Did he work in a warehouse? Was he a construction worker? A legal aid? A file clerk? A mail room employee for a corporation? Again he attempted to focus us on the letter of the requirement more than the type of job.

He almost broke down when he sullenly informed us of his previous full time employment. It turns out that Agent Johnston spent a full 2 years at a Chuck E Cheese as the Big Cheese himself. I wonder how Agent Johnston got the crap assignment of a high school career fair. I can only imagine that his colleagues and direct supervisors decided that Agent Chuck E Cheese would be perfect for the crap assignments.


…Cue wavy transition with ethereal music…


The only thing more akin to the actual fire and brimstone of the legendary hell would be a Chuck E Cheese in Akron, Ohio.

To recap:
Chuck E Cheese is an evil place inhabited by demons
Starting on some holiday themed 20 Questions Tuesdays tomorrow
I think it will take a week or so of ice and snow on the ground for the local drivers to get used to snow and ice again
I have work that I am ignoring at the moment
I need to get back to that stuff
And soon
Listening to “The Pretender” by the Foo Fighters.

Digital Thursday

So last week I did not post my ready to publish Digital Thursday piece of work because some sort of family thing came up. Therefore this week I am posting last week’s Digital Thursday thus making it this week’s Digital Thursday.

Last week I was going to merely show you my entry to the November Cartographer’s Guild mapping Challenge, but this week I am showing you the WINNING ENTRY FROM THE NOVEMBER CARTOGRAPHER”S GUILD MAPPING CHALLENGE!

That’s right; today you will gaze upon winningness.

Here is the winning entry for the Novemeber Challenge over at the Cartographer's Guild. The Challenge was to:

Quote:
Whether you are "Lost in Space", "Pigs in Space", or colonizing the "Spore Universe", what the intrepid space farer really needs is a decent map.

The challenge this month is to create an orbital map, star-system map or even a quadrant map. A map as large as an entire galaxy, or the immediate environment surrounding a planet or star system.

Not just any old political map... this is intended to be a traveler's map (not a Traveller map) to aid in "getting there", where ever there may be.

Sharpen up your lightstylus, put a fresh coat of paint on the Tardis, and prepare to beam up...

Entries should be in by no later than November 25, 2008.

Good Luck!!

The idea behind this one actually came from a Star Wars mock-up of an "Imperial Credit". That graphic is completely badass. I tried to approach the same level of badassery, but I know that I came up short, and that is ok because this map has made me better for doing it. There are already some techniques to this one that I will incorporate into my work maps and other pieces that I know how to do better now.

The other idea behind this map was to do it with a single ink in mind, as if it had been done as an intaglio print. The process took a while, but it would have been insanely time consuming by hand. Thank you vector illustration programs. The portraits in the bottom corners really started out the feel of the map. Lots of crosshatching and pen and ink techniques on them. Everything else was done in illustrator. I only pulled it into Photoshop at the end to add the shaded relief of the border elements.

The map is designed to print at an ANSI D size (24 in x 34in) or a 2 x 3. The initial work in PS was done at 200 dpi, but the posted version is only 100 dpi so it would post.



To recap:
Q doesn’t like eating for anyone other than Wifey
That is quite the burden for any mama to bear
Might try to make sausage and stuffing casserole tonight for dinner
It has been a few days since I have eaten sausage stuffing casserole
I have some work associated with the city of Cleveland that I am doing my best not to work on
Most of my emails of late have not been specifically for me
I am a person and I deserve personal emails
I am tired and all yawny
Which is markedly different than being tired and all Yanni
That means you are trite and boring to listen to
Whereas I am merely sleepy
Don’t disavow me of that notion
Listening to No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age
Have a great weekend everyone

Failed Post beginnings

I type with only five fingers. Truly it is only four fingers but I use the left thumb as a prop so I count it.

I kind of miss the Yeti. He has not contacted me in well over a year, so I can only assume that he is dead and the inheritance shall be all mine.

I get more and more emails from people I don’t know because of this blog.

Little Man has taken his fight with sleep to new heights, and it seems that he has enlisted his nose into the fight.

Sometimes when I cannot think of a topic to write on, I call Wifey. Sometimes I just sit and wait for inspiration. Wifey is much more effective.

The problem with being mauled by a vampire bear is that if one is not ursine in nature one does not enter the realm of the undead, one is just plain old dead… horribly disfigured-ly disgustingly bloodlessly dead.

Coming up with ideas for Christmas presents is not nearly as easy as it was when I collected and played with toys as a kid.

Almost dozing off at your desk whilst at work is bad. Almost dozing off at you desk whilst at work in a meeting with your boss is a political statement.

I need to make the family Christmas Cards soon and Wifey doesn’t want me to focus the family as the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. What’s the point of having 4 family members if you can’t make them look like War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death on a holiday card?

Little Man has turned a corner on kids TV programming and I am not sure I like it.

Of all the natural hazards out there, none are so amazingly un-sexy as “slump.”

Looking back on it, I would be much richer if I were paid more.

What I don’t understand about lightsabers is

There is not enough time in the day to get everything done.

Little Man likes the show Extreme Trains on the History Channel. I define “likes” as “constantly obsesses about” in this instance.

Being famous would be nice, especially concerning free shit.

To recap:
I could have made this a recap post
I am so stupid
I hate flossing
Those tow statements are separate statements
They should not be read as “I am so stupid, I hate flossing”
Even though it may be what you think there is no provable causality indicated
Listening to Let it Die by the Foo Fighters

20 9 Questions Tuesday: 119 - Scheduling Conflicts

Here it is Tuesday again. It seems like just a week ago it was Tuesday. Anyhoo… I have been a bit more sporadic in my posting lately due to some outside influences on my attention span, but it all boils down to scheduling. Therefore this week’s poorly attended topic is scheduling. Poor scheduling on my part? I think so. Anyway, I got 9 total questions about schedules and I think 3 of those were about pronunciation.

Anyway… thanks this week go to ACW, Peefer, Capt McArmypants, and Kim.

Onto the questions:
1. Can I get back to you on this?
Nope, this is kind of a one shot pony here. There were not even enough questions for a single 20Q’sTues, much less drag it along for multiple weeks. You lost out, bud.

2. One question: skeh-jule or sheh-jule?
One answer: depends. (hey, I have to draw this answer out. 2 more people asked about it).

3. Schedule sounds more important when pronounced SHHHHHHH-edyool. Why don't we Mericans all use that pronunciation?
Because we tend to the more Germanic pronunciations of words. What can I say? Mericans like the “hard K.”

4. What does scheduling mean to you? I mean do you have a firm "at 12 I eat lunch, at 15 after I take a break" type scheduler or are you more of an itinerary type of guy?
Scheduling for me is usually a loose framework. I am much more of an itinerary kind of guy, but I understand that some times a strict schedule is necessary.

5. I have started using Outlook calendar that reminds me of events and meetings and a GPS to get to the meeting, I see this trend going one of two ways. Technology is taking more and more of the mundane thinking away and I can't decide if I want technology to finish me off and allow me to operate on auto pilot while I play video games in my head or go away entirely before I become a robot. Comments or suggestions?
BTW, what level are you on for the mental Tetris game you have going on right now? I think a Blackberry with calendar and a GPS device is only a small price to pay for your ability to function is a tightly scheduled world.

6. How can pipe have a schedule?
I did not realize that they did?

7. When you were first allowed to pick your own schedule in College did you try and follow the subject or the 3 to 4 day weekend? How did that work out?
I didn’t mind a full 5 day week as much as having class before 9 a.m. I was able to steer myself mostly away from the morning classes, but a bunch of upper level math courses resided in the 7:45 a.m. slots. Jerks. Who can do higher level math at 7:45 in the morning? No one, that’s who.

8. The other day, I was chatting with a Brit. I kept asking him to repeat himself when he was saying "sheh-jul". I didn't know what the bloody hell he meant. Finally, I realized the arse was saying "schedule". why didn't he just say that? Does the British pronunciation of the word bother you as much as it does me?
It doesn’t bother me too much when there is an audible “d” in the word. If, as you report, the bloke was pronouncing it “sheh-jul” I would probably want to gut him and wear his skin as a suit, but if there was an audible “d” that you are just not mentioning, I would probably get him a beer.

9. Why do we bother using Gantt charts when the final due date never changes??? Is it so that we can visually see how screwed we are?
I don’t understand why Gantt charts are even toyed with. There has not been a project yet that has actually followed the proposed Gantt timeline. The due date should have “-ish” after the date and the Gantt should be one big bar with a question mark inside of it.


Well, that is it. I am 11 questions short and my headache is telling me not to worry about them.
To recap:
My head is really bothering me
Wifey is having some kind of hoot-nanny tonight that requires me to be away
Her hoot-nannies should require me to play World of Warcraft
I think I will take Little Man to get Mama and Q Christmas presents and some desert
Not necessarily in that order
Stupid headache and it is my own darn fault too
I should have slept last night
Instead I stayed up too late not sleeping
Listening to Danger Woman by The Aquabats!

2 Things

The problem with posting a blog that you do not want family to read is that when they are around doing family stuff in your house, you cannot even pretend to put together a blog post. Especially when the family that is staying with you at your house are two computer savvy nephews. One of whom would not allow anything to happen on the computer without his enraptured attention.

Needless to say Thursday’s post did not happen due to lethargy generated by digesting waaaay too much food and a determined avoidance of all things bloggy to throw the nephews off the scent.

Thant being said there are 2 things to chat about today.

Thing the First:
Even though Thanksgiving is colloquially referred to as “Turkey Day” over here, the day is more about the ham to me. Well, ham and mashed potatoes. I dined on ham and mashed potatoes for 4 days straight. Now I am tired of ham and mashed potatoes, but that is a matter for another day. If there had been more sausage stuffing casserole, it would have been consumed as well. Truth be told, I am not so much for the turkey. I like the trimmings around the turkey, but the turkey itself is not that much of a draw for me.

Our menu included turkey, ham, sausage stuffing casserole, green beans, mashed potatoes, regular old stuffing, stuffing from inside the bird, 2 kinds of bread, cranberry salad, pumpkin pie and I am sure some other food I have forgotten.

A good time was had by all, but mostly by Little Man who was beside himself with glee through out the entire eating festivities. He was in heaven eating food he likes and surrounded by family who love him.

Thing the Second:
Most of the Christmas presents have been purchased for the fam. All that is left for the SRH household is one gift from Wifey to SRH and one gift from SRH to Wifey. Wifey diligently attempted to bolster our flagging economy by getting all the presents done this weekend. You hear me Wall Street! The DOW should go up 300 points on that fact alone.

As it is Wifey and I are left with the dubious task of figuring out what we want to get for each other.

To recap:
I just won the most recent Monthly Cartographer’s Challenge over at the Cartography Guild
This win surprises me a bit
I will post my map for this upcoming Digital Thursday
Now you want to come back on Thurs to see the award winning map
I am sure of it
Been watching a bunch of Nova's (Novas? Novae? Nova Shows? Episodes of Nova) on PBS lately
PBS can throw together some good old fashioned butt kicking documentaries
I watched something on choatic dynamical systems
And then I watched something on the genesis of monotheism
Get it?… genesis?… monotheism?… I crack myself up
Fascinating stuff really
Listening to the Roots singing Lovely, Love my Family from Yo Gabba Gabba
Any show that can get the Roots to perform for kids is a good show
No matter how much All Rileyed Up may not like the show

20 Questions Tuesday: 118 - Thanksgiving (A Day Late)

Consider this my obligatory Thanksgiving Day post where in I focus on the holiday. Thanks this week go to Capt McArmypants, JA Coppinger, Dr B-Dawg, Belsum, and Nadolny.

On to the questions:
1. When you look at the accepted "origins" of Thanksgiving and compare them to what you know of history do you think our traditional history is a function of lore (as in the story evolved into what was presented to us in Elementary School as the origin of Thanksgiving over the course of generations) or in this particular case the whole thing was created in the 1600's by one imaginative nutbar and repeated verbatim ever sense? It seems to have a coherence like it was all the idea of one person doesn't it?
Many myths and legends converge to a singular story, so in this case I would say that it is not the imaginative work of a singular nutbar, but the collective work of generations of nutbars.

2. Who will be at the table this year? not me..... le sigh.
Q, Little Man, Wifey, Mimma, G-Ma D, G-Pa R, Grandma H, Papa H, the 2 nephews and me. It will be a pretty full table.

3. Tofurkey? I understand why it exists, I mean some ideas no matter how crazy really take off (see 1 above). My question is: People who insist it is an acceptable substitute for Turkey and tastes good. Are they damnable liars or did they just lick too many nine volts as a kid and destroyed their ability to taste?
Firstly, one cannot lick too many nine volts as a kid…. Ooooh tingly. Secondly, I don’t understand the need to shape tofu like a turkey unless it is in an attempt to trick the mind into thinking it is, in fact, turkey. It is not and trying to trick yourself or anyone else into thinking it is should be criminal.

4. I noticed a disturbing trend as of late. Why is pumpkin being used more as dessert flavor in the last 5 years or so? I mean for nigh on 400 years it has been a once a year traditional dessert from a time when we had less choices. Now all of a sudden Coldstone.... mmmmmmmmColdstone... has a Pumpkin flavored ice cream, Cheese Cake Factory....... mmmmmmmmCheese Cake Factory has a Pumpkin flavored cheese cake......mmmmm cheese cake....Dairy Godmother has the same and all these candy companies are making pumpkin flavored candy!!! I mean what the hell people IT IS A GOURD!!!! Do you see Squash flavored pie? NO!!! Do you see cucumber flavored ice cream ....well outside of Japan!!?? NO!! So what is the deal!!!!???? (do not reference Watermelon in your answer as I feel it lessens mine argument.)
The US is one of the few places that does not attempt to flavor more things with pumpkin. In Australia, if I remember correctly, pumpkin is used in all kinds of different dishes… some sweet and some savory. Of course, in Australia the noble pumpkin is referred to as an oolooowannabee.
5. I feel it is time to update this antiquated holiday as the average American is thankful for absolutely nothing. Preferably this new Holiday should implement the use of lasers and should have an X in it. Please Discuss.
I think in about a year, Thanksgiving will have more meaning to the average American as the economy crumbles, people will start realizing what they have and more importantly, what they had. As it is, this year’s holiday should be referred to as TurkeyDayROXOR Fest 08, and there should, indeed, be lasers.

6. Thanksgiving doesn’t have an iconic figure (i.e. Santa, Easter Bunny, etc.) to boost its popularity. Who should we use to improve its marketing potential.
Thanksgiving really doesn’t need an iconic holiday figure because this holiday is based almost exclusively on food. Christmas and Easter have some kind of religious occurrence that they are commemorating, and therefore need the sustained marketing effort of an icon. Thanksgiving just needed to be named a federal holiday and then people would eat themselves silly.

7. It has been claimed that the original Thanksgiving feast did not serve turkey at all – how did the poor bird end up on so many plates?
It turns out that the federal government people who instituted Thanksgiving also thought Ben Franklin was an ass.

8. Is it right to be thankful that we killed, subjugated, and stole our lands from indigenous type folks?
To the winner go the spoils. When we go around the table mentioning what we are thankful for, I think to myself “Smallpox, because that made the indigenous populations ‘leave’ their land for us.” I don’t say it. I am not a heartless barbarian.

9. Yeti vs. turducken - who wins?
I am going to go with the Yeti on this one. I think the Yeti, when hungry enough could take down 3 fowl. If it were a Biscoderpig (a Bison stuffed with a cow stuffed with a deer stuffed with a pig) my money is one the Biscoderpig, especially since those are usually wrapped in a flour tortilla and deepfried.
10. So, the pilgrims and the American Indians are sitting down for their big meal. A pilgrim sneezes into his hand. A friendly Indian says "may the great spirit grant you a long life". And the pilgrim smiles and says "thank you". Did either realize that the pilgrim just released a bio-weapon at the dinner table?
Nope.
11. Favorite side dish at casa de SRH.I love mashed potatoes.

12. Do schools still have Thanksgiving Day pageants? And, if so, what did Little Man dress as?Little Man’s preschool does not have a Thanksgiving Day pageant, but if they did I am sure he would go as one of the 3 wise men.

13. What will be the top five thanks receiving items?
5: Donuts (and not those fancy High Fallootin Doghnuts neither)
4: Mashed potatoes
3: Wii bowling
2: Family
1: Continued health and prosperity

14. Am I the only one that’s addicted to the Thanksgiving themed episodes of Iron Chef America?
I believe so... and by that I mean, “Iron Chef America is still on?”

15. White meat or dark? First round or leftovers?
I like the white meat on the first round. I am not much for leftovers. There is a story to accompany the lack of liking left-overs, but that is for a different day.

16. Favorite part of Thanksgiving?
The eating part, followed closely by the napping part.

17. Tryptophan, discuss how the womenfolk have poisoned us for years! You didn't see Charlie Brown poisoning his friends with it! /ahem, ok, I'm calm again
Well, the special where Charlie Brown and Snoopy started up a Meth Lab never really made it to air. The censors didn’t like what happened to Woodstock. Poor Woodstock. It turns out that even birds can’t fly… when they are tweaked out on meth.

18. Describe how the Yeti might interrupt the SRH feast.
Probably with gas. He is rather gassy.

19. Any plans to go shopping on Friday?
The nephews, Little Man, Papa H and I will go to Krispey Kreme donuts and that is probably it.

20. So, Christmas decorations, are they put up by the time the table is cleared?
Sometimes the weekend after Thanksgiving is when the decorating begins, but this year I think we will be waiting until the following weekend.


To recap:
Ummmm… I wrote this out yesterday and forgot to post it
No formating or hyperlinking
Whoopsie
Happy Thanksgiving everyone

2 things

2 things to get to today, so lets’s get at it.

Thing the First:
Wifey and Q are back in town and that makes me a happy camper. Both Little Man and I missed them greatly this past week and weekend. Little Man and I survived well enough, but it just wasn’t as much fun as having the rest of the household around.

The 2 womens-folk of the household returned last night, and while I have had some time with Q, I am still waiting to get the ability to have a conversation with Wifey. It seems that when one works for a week while doing the primary parenting of a baby and then travels with a baby to an airport, the trend is for one to be beyond exhaustion. Wifey was asleep on the couch by 8:30 last night. She was asleep downstairs before Little Man was asleep upstairs.

Today she had 2 conference calls and a meeting to go to as well as taking care of Little Man and Q. I fear that she is going to be crispy toasty this evening as well. So eventhough she is back, I still miss her.


Thing the Second:
The parental units and my nephews will be arriving on Wednesday afternoon for the upcoming Feast of Fowl. Usually this family incursion into SRHland would require briefings and de-briefings and strategy sessions utilizing Lucite Maps with technicians who write backwards and mark positions with toy boats…

However, as of late we have had to prepare ourselves less and less for visits with the parental folk. They seem to be respecting our boundaries more and starting to interact more lovingly. It is a pleasant change. There is this strange sensation of “not dread” at their impending appearances. I cannot go so far as to say that I am wholeheartedly looking forward to their visit. That is a mistake you only make a few times before having the cruel reality come crashing about your head and shoulders area.

This visit is intended to be a short one. For all of you who did not know (and that includes all of you, save Wifey) my dad went to the hospital (again) for chest pains last week, and does not quite feel “up to “ and extended stay here in C-bus. The tests on said chest pains seem to indicate an ulcer in his upper GI system, so no one start praying for him just yet.

To recap:
I have to stop by the grocery store on the way home
It seems I ate all of Little Man’s cheese puffs
In my defense they sat unperturbed in the cupboard for 4 days before I devoured them
They were the All Natural White Cheddar kind
I am only human
Crew took the MLS Cup yesterday 3 -1
Hopefully they use this win as an opportunity to change their logo from the village people logo to something more soccer oriented
Maybe they will become F.C. Columbus and be affectionately known as “the Crew”
That would be nice
Never happen, but it would be nice
Tomorrow’s 20 questions is about Thanksgiving Day
Listening to Wallflowers by MC Frontalot

Digital Thursday

The November Cartographer’s Guild Challenge is a space traveler’s map. The idea is that the map has to encompass at least more than a planet. Maybe a planet and it’s moons, maybe a solar system, maybe a galaxy, maybe a universe, potentially a multiverse, but definitely more than a typical planet map. Anyhoo… I decided to do a space-farer’s solar system map in a Victorian style with portraits and filigris and cartouches and scrollwork and such.

Here is the basic concept.


And here are the insets for the lower left and lower right portraits. I, of course still need to add the borders and scallops and plaques and stuff to them.
At first with trips to Battle Creek and Thanksgiving holidays and other obligatory stuff, but since Wifey and Q are in Massachusetts and Little Man will be spending the evening with Mim on Friday, I have some time to push this mapping challenge out.

Things left to get finished

The filigris (one can never have too much filigris)
The cartouches (2 styles to be mirrored)
The coats-of-arms
The border elements
Oh! And the map

Ummm… sooo… pretty much everything

So… at least I have that going on for me.

To recap:
Day 1 of bach-ing it with Little Man and he is alive and well
Last night he had Chinese food for the first time ever
He did really well with it
Amazingly well when you consider that he has never really had any of that Asian flavor set before
Chicken fried rice and some lo mien
Nothing too crazy
He doesn’t quite get my love of the egg-roll
No one really does… to tell the truth
I don’t sleep so well without the Wifey in town
Not listening to anything
Have a great weekend

Fake Post

No real time to post today so I will fake post to my heart’s content. I love me some fake postin. One can not fake post enough. I should fake post more often actually.

The reason I only have time for a fake post is that I will be heading home to help Wifey prepare for here impending departure to parts unknown (Unknown = Rockport, MA). She will be taking Q with her on the flight and leaving me and Little Man behind to fend for ourselves in this dark, cold, lonely world devoid of light, love and hope.

Little Man has already complained that he will be tired of me and was disappointed when he found out I was staying and that he would not, in fact, be spending 3 days in a row again with Mimma.

I will have to fight my urge to be curt with him in the mornings because I did not get enough sleep. Luckily there are only 2 mornings that require me to motivate him into motion. So at least I got that going for me.

Oh well, I will have something digital for you for Digital Thursday.

To recap:
Pressed for time
Not listening to anything
Chat more tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 117 - Unexpected Absence

One week away from posting and all of the sudden I have to make up questions for myself. I guess unexplained absences will do that. Thanks this week go to John P, Belsum, Nadolny, and Capt McArmypants for the 16 questions that were sent in.

Onto the questions:
1. Whatever happened to the Star Wars Christmas Special? Some say it was terrible. My recollection of it is not that great I just felt there was a strange void in the Force for awhile.
Most traces of it were removed by Lucas because of the horror it induced. It was… as if millions of voices suddenly groaned out in horror and were suddenly silenced.

2. Is being wrapped up in Xbox play a good unexplained absence to a) the wife, b) work?
I would go so far as to say it is an explained absence from the wife and/or work, but not a good one.

3. What has happened to the promise of 7 minute abs? You just don’t hear about it anymore.
Turns out it took more than 7 minutes, and people aren’t willing to abide that kind of mis-representation.

4. If there is one thing (book, toy, school trip, etc.) from your childhood that went missing and you wish you could get it back what would it be?
Not that I can think of. I am at peace with most everything lost from my childhood. I think I would have liked cable TV as a kid though. I always felt so left out of the Fraggle Rock conversations.

5. Has Little Man ever lost something that turns up later in the oddest and most unexplained place? My wife once lost one of our phones which turned up in the storage under the stairs about a month later. The ringer locator needs to have a slightly higher volume in my opinion.
We find the remotes in odd places, but nothing oddly remarkable. More than anything we find his trains all over the place. I have seen one in the fridge before. Turns out the Rio Grande was too hot.

6. Can you find my sanity please? I think I need it back.
I am not the one to come to regarding lost sanity.

7. Whatever happened to DB Cooper?
He died in the mountains of southwest Washington state. Les Stroud has difficulty surviving in high mountain ranges for a week, and he is the Survivorman. How do you think Coop would do?

8. The 50s promised us more than just air cars. What about robots? And Dick Tracy watches? And circular space stations creating their own gravity? And jet packs?
Robots exist and are doing bunches of stuff. They just aren’t our assistants like we thought they would be. I think Dick Tracy watches have occurred, they just aren’t on our wrists, they are in our pockets or holsters on our belt or in our pockets. Cell Phones would be science fiction to a transplanted denizen of the 1950’s. I am sad that there is not a big old visible from space rotating space station up in the sky, but more than anything I do miss not having jet packs.

9. Why does Waldo keep hiding?
Because if I ever find him, he will suffer a fate worse than a hippo.

10. Back to my sanity, really, where is it? I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to hold on to it.
Wrong person to look for anything approaching sanity.

11. Ok, so everyone is going to ask where you were, which I think you should answer, but more importantly, make up a good lie about where you were and what monster abducted you.
I was in the steamy Brazilian forests along the mighty Amazon riverbanks. Taken there by El Chupracabra only to be handed off to the dreaded oversized vampire bats from the Ribeira Valley. I escaped by my wits alone. I had to leave my pants. No Questions! You weren't there! You don't know what it was like!

12. Second obligatory question if not answered in #1, are Q, Little Man and Wifey all
OK?
Everyone in Casa Del Ryan-Hart is doing peachy.

13. Were you missed at work or are you now worried that you weren’t missed?
A little of Column A and a little of Column B

14. Didn't they just find the bones from an adventurer millionaire guy whose plane crashed in California? Is this at all related?
They did just find what is most likely Steve Fossett’s crash and death site, but that had nothing to do with my trip to the Brazilian rain forest… or Battle Creek, Michigan.

15. Will New Orleans disappear in the next 200 years? 100 years? 50?
I think the Big Easy will slowly relocate within the next 100 years. I do not think that it will cease to exist.

16. Why is there a dearth of news about the Gigantor Bail-out/slash end of America as we know it?
What are you talking about? Everything is fixed. My gas prices have gone back down and a new administration has been elected. Problem solved. Move on. Sheesh. Everyone is sooo wanting to live in yesterday.

17. There is this puss filled thing on my dog’s leg, and I don’t know where he… wait a second, it says “Unexplained Absences.” My Bad
No problem… and ewwww.

18. Did you lose readers by being gone for a week unexpectedly?
If I lost readers I would be in negative numbers which would mean a net gain.

19. Who are you and what did you do to SRH?
I am a giant vampire bat from Brasil and I drank in his soul. It corrupted me a little and gave me some gas. To be fair though, most everything gives me gas.

20. You asked if we missed you yesterday in the recap, a better question would be “Did you miss us?” You being SRH and not us plural. Basically act as if we asked you that question not like you are reading it out loud. My goodness, did you read it out loud? That would be odd.
Ummm… I missed you (plural)?


To Recap:
Tomorrow is a wacky day, so I will most likely not post anything
I have to get Wifey and Q to the airport
I don’t want to get Wifey and Q to the airport
I have some irons in the fire that need to be tended to
I have very little energy to focus on those irons
Regardless of how burny those fires may be
Wow, am I tired
Listening to MC Frontalot’s Wallflowers from his newest release Final Boss

2 Things

I decided at the last moment Thursday evening to take a bloggy break. Sure I said I woul have something for you for Digital Thursday on that Friday, but I clearly did not understand the heights of apathy that I could achieve. So instead I decided to take an impromptu week off from the blogging. Much of this impromptunity was predicated by being in Battle Creek, MI for the week and not having the best intertube connectivity at my disposal.

Could I have smurfed out a way to post daily from the dead confines of Battle Creek? Of course I could, I am resourceful and capable. Did I smurf out a way? Of course I did. Did I implement my smurfy plan? Hells no! I am also lazy well beyond my inherent cognitive abilities. Honestly my laziness knows no bounds… because to know one’s limits one must test to see the extents of those limits. Testing is inherently not lazy. Therefore all true laziness is limitless. Q.E.D.

Anyway… I have 2 Things to chat about today other than my Theory of Infinite Laziness*.

Thing the First:

Battle Creek, Michigan is a dead husk of a city. I have rarely been in a city where there really were not any people noticeable. The sidewalks were basically deserted. The city was constantly quiet. It was eerie.

Oooh I like typing “eerie”

Thing the Second:

Wifey will be heading out of town Wednesday with Q for some work she needs to get done in Rockport, MA. She will be getting back Sunday evening. It will be difficult for everyone involved. I will be soloing with Little Man and Wifey will be soloing with Q. I definitely got the better end of this stick effortwise, but it will be difficult without the womenfolk here. I will dearly miss the big toothless smile of Q and the companionship of my wife. We are trying to figure out the logistics of how she will be able to work this.

I am primarily concerned with how she is going to wrangle Q, and all of Q’s accoutrement as well as her own stuff in the airport. I think an umbrella stroller may be in order. The other concern is about sleeping. If Q has an opportunity to nurse, she will. Lately she has considered sleeping next to mama much akin to all you can eat popcorn shrimp. You can always eat one more. She nurses in her sleep for 10 seconds and sleeps quietly for 5 minutes and nurses in her sleep for a little and just plain sleeps for a little. I have had to be an interventionist in the middle of the night to keep Q from the nursey nursey. I am going to try some different techniques tonight and see if we can keep the constant nursing to a minimum.

I don’t believe anyone is looking forward to this. Little Man inquired upon hearing these plans, “But won’t I get tired of Papa by then?”

To recap:
Last week I was in Battle Creek, Michigan
Wooooooo
I will be grilling in the snow this evening… maybe
Now it looks like I will be doing double bed-time ritual since Wifey has an evening meeting
I am not sure what will be for dinner tonight
Maybe cheap pizzas
Those are easy
Easy can be good
Cheap pizzas are not good
In the way that pizza cannot be good
Meaning “not as good as other pizza but still good cause it is pizza”
Little Man is getting his room painted this week
That aught to be nice
Did you miss me?



* patent pending

No so Digital Thursday

Ummm... I am postponing this Digital Thursday until tomorrow for an odd Digital Friday experience. That's right, I will post something on my Friday sabbath. I will whip something up tonight for the digital experience tomorrow.

Any requests?

To recap:
Busy today...
Not so much tomorrow
Ergo the postponal

Yes we can

So there was this election yesterday and the guy that my little boy hit the submit button for won. Everyone in the household is beyond happy about this… Well, almost everyone is out of their head happy about this. Q seems to be out of her mind happy about drinking from a cup. Ice water is her favorite.

Anyway, yesterday was game changing. There was a palpable shift yesterday. I felt it and it was not gas (this time).

I do not get overly political on my blog because I don’t want it to become one of THOSE blogs. You know the blogs that I am talking about. But there comes a time when something so momentous occurs that as a citizen of this country we must pause and take note.

Prior to yesterday my children really could not become president of these United States. It really was not a dream they could hold on to. Prior to yesterday anyone whose skin was too brown did not really think that President was a reachable goal. Technically it was, but “technically” is merely a technicality. Did I honestly think the Obama campaign had a real shot at The House? Not when he started this journey. Around 3 weeks ago I started to really let hope wash over me. Cycles and calendars were starting to align. Drawn cards were of crowns and hearts. Constellations were in the right houses. Chicken entrails were painting hopeful pictures.

Even though all the signs pointed towards the hopeful conclusion, I could not fully embrace the hope trying to find me. It was not until election results were coming in that I started to let the hope thaw me… Yesterday was a great result for my family. Yesterday was a great result for my country. Yesterday was a great result for our culture. Yesterday was a great result for the world.

But, it is important to note that yesterday was not the culmination. Yesterday was only the beginning. Yesterday only matters if the future promised by it comes to pass. Yesterday reminded me that I have more to do for my little boy and little girl. Yesterday told me to get off my ass.

To recap:
Yes we can

20 Questions Tuesday: 116 - Political Ads

Well, the election is FINALLY here. That means that tomorrow all but the few straggling political ads will be off the TV. It would be nearly criminal for me not to at least mention the election here in the US since I blog. I think there is some un-written rule that once someone starts a blog they have to get all political and shit during the US election time.

Anyhoo, because I try to not be too partisan on this here blogarooney, I will rail against something most everyone hates, political commercials.

Thanks this week go to All Rileyed Up, Belsum, Capt. McArmypants, JA Coppinger, Amy, IC Yellow, and Nadolny.

On to the questions:

1. What do you think of the suggestion to decorate with vintage election campaign ads? (I read it in either domino mag or real simple in the last month or two)
I think if you like vintage and you like the colors red and blue, it could be a good fit.

2. Favorite political slogan? Least favorite political slogan?
Favorite: Local judge election slogan: Bring us Dingus
Least Favorite: Fob James’ political campaign slogan in 1998: More Fob

3. Why do new candidates like to point out that they didn’t vote for the Evil Laws that the incumbent voted for? They weren’t even in office!! They couldn’t have voted for jack!
I think you are over thinking this a bit. Start thinking about the election with the reptilian part of your brain. mmmm tasty election... oh oh election made of fire! Run!

4. Candidates make a big deal about pulling their attack ads. But when all the various special interest groups are still running theirs, does it matter? Would you rather have the “official” attacks instead?
I would love to see the candidates say the things their official campaigns say about their opponents to each others faces at least 5 times during the electoral process.

5. Does it irk you or make you sympathetic when family members are trotted out to advocate for their parent or spouse in a televised campaign commercial?
It would be better if the opposition would trot out an uncle who thought that the candidate was an absolute imbecile who could get out of a wet paper bag.

6. Why do local races insist on airing their ads in other jurisdictions? I can’t vote for you! I don’t care!
This is something that I think will change as time goes on. The targeting of advertising is on the horizon. Right now political campaigns have to pay for air time on stations whose broadcast radius is larger than their jurisdiction. Instead of using a TV shot gun, they could use a sniper rifle ad or something in about 12 years.

7. How do you think the general public would react if we reverted to the straight up lying of the good ol’ days of yellow journalism? Actual real live name calling and completely fabricated slander sounds like a helluva lot more fun to me right about now.
Things like “Adams is a howling hermaphrodite!” that Jefferson slung around in the 3rd US election? That would be awesome. (thank you the Daily Show.)

8. So what DO you think of Willie Horton? Is that the bear for the Geisel book? I used to love those things as a kid!
Willie Horton Hears a Who.

I love it (it is hard to draw Willie Horton in a Suessical style)

9. It is disturbing how effective negative campaigning is though every year people are polled and constantly say they don't like it. Please explain the discrepancy? I bet it is those evil pollsters! (of course that brings up a similar question of does anyone actually believe polls anymore? But don't answer that question answer the first one.)
People are hypocrites. They hate negative ads, but are unwilling to look on their own to see what their candidate of choice stands for.

10. Every year people make general statements like I will fix this and stop that and people no one wants to hear the details (which is good because there aren't any). Then people go off to enthusiastically cheer and hope and make much jolly about all their problems that will soon be solved. To me this seems like going to a bank asking for a loan so I can start a business to ..uh.... do stuff and make ..... uh.... money. So I guess what I am asking here is why do people suck so much?
That is a question for the ages. I think it has something to do with the pull between free will/self determination and laziness.

11. Every for years I am reminded that people are unthinking dullards who will vehemently support candidates with ideas and agendas that they don't fully believe in or understand. Do you know where the switch is that would allow me to NOT examine and apply my own thoughts because I want to try that out (other than beer).
There are other forms of alcohol than merely beer.

12. So according to the news today the price tag for this whole Prez 2008 Obama v. McCain campaigning thing seems to have run about 1 (pinky finger to side of mouth) Billion dollars. Thus, I am reminded of the old Rich Hall joke where he discusses the annual billion dollar advertising budgets of Coke and Pepsi and the punchline is. "So these guys spend 3 billion dollars a year so when I go up to the counter and ask for a burger and a coke and the guys says "is Pepsi ok?" I can say "whatever."".... but I digress.... So do you have any words of wisdom as to why this should not depress me greatly? I mean if the goal is to elect a representative whose priorities and philosophies most closely align with yours and our method for coming to this conclusion is a BILLION dollar laser light show instead of 2 simple web pages with a nice 4 to 5 page document composed by the actual candidate what does this really say about us? Ok so this is more of a rant then a question, but feel free to answer it, comment on it or just not post it I am cool with any combo of the 3.... well actually if you answer the question but don't actually post the question it will seem kinda weird.
I think I am going to have to start vetting my questioneers more stringently. It seems that some questioneers’ bitterness is getting in the way of incisive questions that I can sidestep with a goofy un-expected answer.

13. Everyone yells about “negative ads” but is it really wrong to point out that your opponent is a dumb ass?
If the claim that your candidate is a dumbass is substantially possible, then it is a defensible attack ad. The problem with most attack ads is that thyey tear down the opponent without building up the other candidate. For example an attack ad that says something to the effect of “Candidate A has no executive experience, is he ready to lead a country?” but fails to mention that the executive credentials of Candidate B is also just as non-existent. To make a claim like “Candidate A has no executive experience” candidate B should have loads of it.

14. Is it wrong to spend a billion dollars on advertising for a single office, or is actually good for the economy?
It is both good and bad for the economy. It lets people know that money has not gone away, but it does beg the question that 600 million dollars worth of schools or hospitals or roadway imporvements with a candidates name on it might be better than an ephemeral TV ad.

15. Ever seen a funny political ad?
Yes.

16. Where was the stupidest political ad placement you’ve ever seen?
Above a urinal.

17. Do you think that the scantron type ballots lead more to test, er, election anxiety amongst the folks that have to fill the bubbles in?
I imagine that, yes, there are some people whose palms are sweating at the thought of filling in bubbles. They also probably have trouble with “in” and “out” doors.

18. If McCain and Palin don't win, do you think Palin should try for a spot on SNL as Tina Fey?
I am not sure she has the comedic chops for it.

19. Don't the repeated political commercials have the opposite effect on you? Most of them are relatively inane, so I would think that folks would get sick of them and actually vote against the person running the ad.
I have been conditioned by years of exposure to my parents to tune out messages that don’t need to be heard.

20. I keep wanting to ask if people are really dumb enough to believe some of the stuff in the ads, but then I think, yes they are.
You are too correct.

To recap:
If you are a US citizen I hope you vote today
Or voted earlier
That way you can complain if things don’t work out how you like
Listening to: For the past 4 hours I have had the Munsters Theme Song running through my head
Oh God! MAKE IT STOP!