Today is my little girl’s 5th birthday… Holeee shit she is 5. How in the hell is this possible? Sweet jeebus! I am completely confused by all of this. She cannot be 5 because I cannot be 5 years older. She is amazingly healthy and happy, her allergies are completely out of control this season, but she is riding it well enough. Anyway… How the hell did this happen… oh, wait, I already “Anyway’ed.”
Anyway redux… I noticed an article this weekend where it went over the idea how people have difficulty accepting compliments. Therefore today’s post is all about compliments. Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Ralph Harbison, Dave Newbold, Wifey, Chris Corrigan, Kelly McGowan, and some other guy. On to the questions!
1. Does the Theory of Relativity apply to compliments?
Yes, “I am the coolest of all my friends” does not say much about me because my friends are uncool. Sorry for the hard truths that just happened, friends.
2. What’s the greatest compliment you’ve received?
Compliments shed off of me like water off a ducks ass. I cannot remember a particular “greatest compliment.”
3. If you’ve paid $500 for an airline ticket is it “really” a complimentary beverage?
Kind of, you now have to pay for snacks, and honestly, you are paying the fees for gas, wages, maintenance, etc…
4. Who in your opinion is a modern day Eddie Haskell?
I cannot think of anyone who is kind of the smarmy jerk who compliments the equivalent to Mrs. Cleaver. You know Haskell wanted to bone Mrs. Cleaver, am I right?
5. Do these questions make me sound fat?
These questions make you seem fitter and trimmer, have you lost weight?
6. Why are people offended by back-handed compliments, except for when they are not?
Well, back-handed compliments sting like the back of my hand, and some people like it rough.
7. Is it so bad to tell someone “You don’t sweat much for a fat chick?”
You need more of a modifier, try “You don’t sweat soooo much for a fat chick.”
8. What is the best compliment you can give?
That’s good form.
9. If other people’s opinion isn’t supposed to matter, why give them at all?
I don’t give other people’s opinions, I only give mine, and those matter the most.
10. What is the etymology of the word?
It is derived from the words “comply” and “-ment.” Make your own judgements on how that comes together.
11. What do you get complimented on the most? What’s the most backhanded compliment you have ever received?
Part the first: My drawing, even though I feel like I have a rather realistic idea of where I stand in my capabilities compared to the pros.
Part the second: You really have a pretty robust vocabulary considering how much you swear. My fucking lexicon is God-Damn immense.
12. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received from Wifey, Little Man and Q?
Firstly Who Gives a Fuck about the Oxford Comma? Not you apparently, that’s who. Wifey: Her compliment is not fit for polite company. Little Man: You are the best papa ever. Damn straight I am. I work hard for that title. Q: You draw gooder. I do my newly 5 year old little girl, I do draw the gooderest.
13. So, in movies when a restaurant gives someone an entree for free, the server often says, “Compliments of the chef.” What the hell does that mean?
Well, it goes with an archaic meaning of “compliment” which means a gift. The chef is not actually saying, “you look great and I like your erudite conversation so I will tell you so with free kansas City Style Baby-Back Ribs.” mmmm ribs.
14. Have you ever fished for compliments?
I don’t think I would be very good at fishing for compliments. I mean, I don’t feel mt blog is very good or that I really could pull off something like fishing for compliments. I probably should not even post this, cause it is pretty weak.
15. When a woman asks if her ass looks big in that dress, is this an appropriate time to drink all the beer or do you go for the compliment?
Immediately say “no,” regardless of the truth. Do not hesitate, do not contemplate. Say, “No” and then drink all the beers, make your hasty exit, and hope you answered quickly and convincingly enough.
16. Is it proper to compliment a friend’s spouse on how they look? Uh… I’m asking for a friend?
It depends on if there is something underlying the compliment, more than just a “that looks good on you/you look good” way. If it is a friendly, “Holeee Chit! You look da awesomest! Great shoes!” That is one thing, whereas if you say something like, “I really like how that shirt makes your breasts look yummy.” You have definitely overstepped.
17. What is the perfect compliment to ice cream?
Well, the perfect compliment to ice cream is “That ice cream is so good, it makes me want to do something illegal.” The perfect complement to ice cream depends on the flavor of ice cream. For example, a high quality salty caramel ice cream works sublimely as the ice cream in a root beer float. Trust me on that one. So I will need more information to really give you a better answer.
18. What is the perfect compliment for steak and potatoes? Red wine? White? Beer?
Corn on the cob, and this gluten free red ale I had this weekend… so good and kept the bloat away.
19. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve given?
Well, it is not that weird for me, but I am sure it comes off as weird. telling absolute strangers when they have on awesome shoes.
20. What color compliments you most?
Icy blues and aqua colors. They help to make my eyes stand out.
To recap:
I am old because my youngest is 5
That’s how that works, right?
We had flank steak, white rice, and corn on the cob tonight for the birthday dinner
Her menu, and it rocked
Now we need to clean up the kitchen pretty badly
The wife has a day long meeting in DC tomorrow, so her day will start early and end late and involve a good bit of travel
My day will include wrangling kids
It isn’t too long til the oldest is 10… what am I going to do with that?
Double digit kid’s age
I will lose my little lizard brain
Sorry for the tardiness of the post all
Have a great weekend