Digital Thursday

I had 20 minutes today and, from last week's Digital Thursday post, an affinity for X-characters. To go with that Colussus, I now have a Cyclops.

No time to really expound much on this except it is a digital sketch done rather rapidly with some crap color thrown on for good measure. So without further ado, a late 80's/early 90's Cyclops.

Ooooh he's dour.

To recap:

The office and bathroom are both happily painted

We are swiftly moving stuff into the office to reclaim our dining room for dining purposes

Mim is getting surgery today to aleviate some nerve stuff in one of her shoulders

I need to find the hardware for the crib

Things seem to be coming together

1 more week baby-less and maybe we can have our shit together (physically)

So please all positive thoughts about baby's pending arrival should include a not before May 30th clause.

Listening to Cream and Bastards Rise by Harvey Danger from Little by Little

Have a great weekend everyone

Four Things

Thing the First: The problem with buying a new computer is getting all the old shit onto the new computer. For someone, such as myself, who is somewhat tech savvy (not tech salve-y, that is just yucky) the process is moderately infuriating. I know just enough about computers and computer technology to completely mess some shit up, yo. The issue that will be tackled anon is the whole email accounts in outlook crap that needs to be taken care of. There is also the issue of migrating over my anti-virus and firewall stuff, and sadly, since the PC is my workhorse, it needs to take some priority away from other house projects currently underway.

Thing the Second: I took the broken chair back from our recliner/rocker/breast-feeding station to La Z Boy’s repair shop on Sunday. I got to the repair window that closes at 3 at 2:50. The man behind the window looked up at me clearly panick stricken. That’s right panic with a “k.” Do you feel the anxiety he was emoting. That is a “k” folks. It doesn’t get much more panicky than that. The panick stricken man stammered out, “But… but… but… everyone’s gone home for the day.” I guess I am tired and stressed because me response was less than compassionate.

Me: That’s not my problem.
Panicky: But… no one is here
Me: Listen, I don’t need this fixed right now, I just need to drop it off. You aren’t open on Sundays and I work during the week. I just now found out you closed at 3 and I am here before three. Take my information and have someone look at the chair Monday morning.
Panicky: Uh… ok, but..
Me: Listen, I have taken up enough of your time to chat about this and since you close in less than 10 minutes I imagine that you are pretty ready to call it a day. Thanks for your time, after I give you my information I will be going.
Panicky now writing down my contact information: uh… yeah.

Thing the Third: The painter is painting the Duchess’s room today as well as other places, but what I am getting at is that the room is no longer “the office” or “the computer room.” It is officially the Duchess’s. After the painting is accomplished, we have much furnituring to get done. The crib will need to be reassembled and we will need to have a dresser of some sort, for the little girl will have clothes. Many of which shall be small, pink, and frilly whether Wifey or I want them to be or not. That is the way of things. So it shall be written. So it shall be done.

Thing the Fourth: We are hoping the painting will not take too long and will be incredibly transformative. What we are really hoping is that the remodel will be done before the baby decides to show up. The OB is feeling pretty confident that we can make it 37/40ths of the way. That would be nice. According to the Dr 36 weeks is on Wednesday, and 37 would be the following week (because you clearly can’t add 1). So keep your fingers crossed that we make it until next Wednesday.

To recap:
Birthing class refresher courses should be just that refreshers for people who have had kids before
When the instructor asks who has had a kid before Wifey and I shouldn’t be the only ones to raise our hands
Waste of my frikkin time
I am sooo flipping tired
But there is sooo much more crap that needs un-crapping
Listening to Indian Reservation by The Raiders from Legend of Paul Revere
Love the organ at the end
That sounds slightly naughty

Some might say

So I have been staring at a blank page in Microsoft Word for about 20 minutes (off and on while trying to get work done and waiting on response from colleagues). The page does not seem to want to fill itself with witty banter. Stupid non-sentient computers.

I have started a post 3 times and all three of them have ended up in the digital equivalent of the good old “circular file.” Some might say that I have writer’s block. Some might say that supply is inversely proportional to demand. Some might say that you should salt and pepper between each step of a savory meal in order to build a depth of flavor. Some might say that hats are absolutely necessary. Some might even say that there are absolutely no absolutes. Some might even recognize the irony of those words. Some may not. Some might say that I am rambling. Some might say many things.

To recap:
I need more writing exercises
Or better writing ability
Or more sleep
I am going to stick with the “more sleep” possibility
It is the most likely culprit for my lack of ideation
Ideation is a silly word for thinkin’
Although it seems so much more heady than thinking
Skylight is in the kitchen
All I have left to do is stain the bathroom door and the kitchen windows
We are close to being done
So very close
Some might say
Listening to Rusty Cage by Soundgarden from Badmotorfinger

20 Questions Tuesday: 91 - Random 1

There comes a time in a 20 Questions Tuesday blogger’s life when he needs a break from coming up with topics for questions. During those rare, brief times that blogger calls out to the twisting nether for his questioneers to question him in a more thoughtless random pattern. Well, readers, that time is now, and it seems next week

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Belsum, Sparky, Capt Mc Armpants, Scott St.Pierre, and Pami Jo.

On to the questions:
1. Do you believe in coincidence?
Yes, I do. Happenstance and I are long acquaintances. I also believe that some things are more than coincidence.

2. What color are your shoes?
Brown leather, tan leather, olive mesh, with lime green stripes. They RAWK

3. Star Wars fans vs. Star Trek fans- compare and contrast.
Star Wars and Star Trek fans are not mutually exclusive categories. Keeping that in mind, I understand that the more rabid fans of one genre may not agree with the other. Therefore I can make these distinctions. Star Wars is for the more martial of the geeks. The ones that thrive on the bounty that is hack and slash. Conflict is resolved in person with a light saber and a blaster. Star Trek is for the more cerebral. Not that it is more “thinking” than star wars, just that it is more distant. The conflict and conflict resolution in Trek is typically ship to ship and impersonal. Photon torpedoes and phaser banks win the day in that universe. I would say that Star Wars is the Marines and Star Trek is the Navy.

4. Why do we sing our babies to sleep with a song about them falling out of trees? What's that about?
I have often wondered that one. How bout we sing a song about safely floating or un-threateningly rocking to sleep?

5. How are you?
I have been better. You?

6. Budweiser and Clamato: discuss.
Ummm… wow. I am not a fan of Bud nor of Clamato. I can’t help but think this is a virulent gastronomical explosion waiting to happen.

7. Dill pickle potato chips versus ketchup potato chips versus roast chicken potato chips.
I have to choose one? Ewwwwwww.

8. Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, or Jade?
Hal Jordan

9. Why isn’t Kyle Minogue more popular in the US?
I honestly can’t think of any good reason.

10. Who’s your favorite Pope and why?
Hmmm… I am clearly most familiar with JP2, so I will have to go with the most recent non-current Pope. As far as Catholic doctrine goes, JP2 was really pretty progressive. He brought about many institutional changes that have set the plate for the following Popes to continue the modernization process.

11. What's your favorite libation?
Hmmm… Alcohol and I no longer agree with each other. I think I might be allergic to the stuff. Recently if I have the equivalent of a shot of whiskey or a beer, the following morning is like I have been on an all night binge drinking display of human debauchery. So, even if I am just being social with a couple beers or a glass of wine, I pay the price as if I had gotten ripped. I just stay away from it now unless drunkenness will be possible. If that is the case, I drink beer.

12. If you had to over-decorate your cubicle with a ceramic collection of something, what would you choose?
Hummels. It would be expensive, but it would freak people out for a 33 (soon to be 34) year old guy to have a collection of Hummels at work.

13. Would you pass the dutchie on the left hand side?
Get yer own Dutchie. I love that it is a bunch of kids singing this. Did you know one of them spent some time in the slammer for drug possession? Quelle Surprise?

14. Inquiring minds want to know more about your tatts.
No they don’t. I only have one. It is on the center my back just above my shoulder-blades. That’s all you get.

15. Chef Ming Tsai is coming over to cook dinner for you and the fam. What do you hope he prepares?
Not sure, maybe the Oven Roasted Pork Ribs, I think I would want a more traditional BBQ sauce and with maybe a ginger kick to it.

16. Why do we still use the English measurement system?
If there is one thing the US does well, it is stick to its guns no matter what evidence to the contrary may point to.

17. Public education. How do you fix it?
The metric system... duh. Sheesh, do I have to fix everything?

18. At what point during a town meeting are you most likely to drop your drawers and moon the mayor?
You know the point of the meeting where the one guy who just gets up to the mic and complains for 20 minutes about the smell of socks? When he’s done. Truth be told, there isn’t a “wrong” moment.

19. If time heals all wounds, why do we need doctors?
If we take the definition of “heal” to be “to free from ailment.” Then time does indeed heal all wounds, for given enough time the free-ing from ailment will be the sweet release of death.

20. If it snows & accumulates say 8 inches what would the total accumulation be if it had been rain?
It depends on the relative sogginess of the snow. The colder the weather it is, the more snow it take to equal an inch of rain. For super cold weather it could take up to 20 inches of snow to equal 1 inch of rain water. For those sloppy snowfalls where it is hovering just below freezing the ratio can be as close as 2 or 3 to 1. The average that is used is 10 to 11 inches of snow for 1 inch of rain.

To recap:
Details seem to be the only things left for the remodel
Cutting tiles
Grouting
Staining the window frames and the new BATHROOM door
Then we move the office downstairs…
Maybe even this weekend
I am giddy with excitement
Sooo close
Painting
I needs to gets me some lunch
Listening to Don’t Make me a Target by Spoon off of Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

+1 Station... 6 weeks to go?

Stress is a gauze that irritates wounds.

To recap:
We think that the Duchess is planning on getting here early
She is impatient like that
There are many things left to do this week
I hope to have the arch way and door ways stained before bed tonight
That involves sanding on the big archways and staining the bathroom door jamb
I need to pop out the broken tiles under the fridge and by the new walls
Ack not enough time….

Just a recap

Instead of boring you, dear fine readers, with another laborious writing exercise, I have decided to bring down unto you just a recap.

To recap:
No topic
No writing exercise
No problem
All recap
All day long
Boo-yah
Little Man is a bit under the weather today
He is all congested and snotty
His asthma is also flaring up
We are hoping that it is similar to a bug I had last week
That only lasted 3 days
Overheard at work today:
“… made the Amish look like dirty whores.”
My question to you is, “What doesn’t?”
The Amish are just a randy cultural sect
Don’t deny it
Plumbers should get everything attached tomorrow for the new bathroom
Dare I say that we will have a downstairs bathroom this weekend?
I daren’t
Anyone want to volunteer for the next installment of 20 Questions Tuesday?
We bought a wall mount light for the new bathroom
We need a ceiling mount light for the new bathroom
We went with a vessel sink
That means I have to stain and poly the vanity countertop
Kick ass! Another task on my “to do” list
Karen: I think we will be attempting to employ your painter friend
It would be nice to remove painting from the to do
Unfortunately, the painting is a task I am capable of completing reasonably well
Such is the way of it
Sweet proton torpedos we have some laundry piling up
It is mainly my laundry at the moment
Just because of volume
Little Man has more articles of clothing in the laundry
My articles are just significantly larger
Wifey was reminded that I did indeed grow up in the south last night
It was my appropriate usage of the phrase “Good Gawd Damn”
I am a delicate little flower of a man
Digital Thursday is coming up tomorrow
I will be traveling to Phoenix, Arizona next Friday
So not next week, but the following one I will not be posting
I need a break
Listening to Moon Over Bourbon Street by Sting from The Dream of the Blue Turtles

20 Questions Tuesday: 81 - Laziness

Today’s topic is one that is near and dear to my heart. Today’s topic for 20 Questions Tuesday is Laziness. I have been lazy for more years than I have been alive. “How is that possible” you ask? Well, when you are as good at being lazy as I am, it is like 2 lazy people accomplishing nothing. I am so efficient at being lazy it stuns other people into shocked awe inspired stupors. My Laziness causes others to do nothing… in admiration. Now, my dear readers, that is lazy.

Anyway, thanks this week go to Dustin, ACW, Belsum, Allrileyedup, and JW. Thanks for getting off your collective duffs and getting me these questions.

On to the questions:

1. Who’s lazier: Garfield or Homer Simpson?
I would have to say Garfield because Homer Simpson has held many a job, in fact he has been an Army Private, agent, ambulance driver, amateur-division professional arm wrestler, astronaut, attack-dog trainer, baby proofer, bartender, blackjack dealer, bodyguard, bootlegger, bowling alley employee, boxer, butler, candle maker, car designer, carny, CEO, chauffeur, Chief of Police, choreographer, chiropractor, clown, clerk, coach, cook, con artist, conceptual artist, day-acre worker, detective, drug smuggler, door-to-door salesman, executive, farmer, film critic, film producer, fireman, fish monger, fisherman, food critic, fortune cookie writer, garbage commissioner, grease collector, guard, ice cream truck driver, impotency spokesman, informant, ISP, inventor, lucadore, mall Santa Claus, manager, marriage counselor, mascot, mayor, mini-golf assistant, missionary, mob boss, monorail conductor, mountain climber, musician, night school teacher, oil rig worker, one man band, opera singer, ordained minister, outsider artist, owner, paparazzo, performance artist, personal assistant, prank monkey, public speaker, roadie, railroad engineer, rollercoaster rebuilder, referee, safety inspector, Saftey Salamander, sailor, Salesman, security officer, silhouette model, smuggler, snowplow driver, softball player, superhero, talk show host, town crier, trucker, union leader, used car salesman, voice actor, and a webmaster to name a few. Garfield, however, has only been a cat

2. I find that I’m most lazy on Sunday afternoons. Is this a common national affliction, or merely something that only North-westerners feel?
I think Sunday is the laziest day for most everyone whose work-week starts on Mondays.

3. Laziest animal in the world?
The Koala… it sleeps a lot and gets by on its cuteness.

4. Should I add this poster to my birthday wish list?
Add anything you want to your birthday wish list, it is your wish list. You don't have to ask me. I'm not your keeper. Sheeesh!

5. If there was a job that lazy people gravitated towards, what would said job be?
Truly lazy people are like super cooled liquids and slowly slide and ooze down the path of least resistance. I guess their job would be “ooze.”

6. What’s the difference between laziness and procrastination?
Procrastination is putting off something that could be done at the moment to do it later at an accelerated pace with questionable results. Lazy is not doing anything. Procrastinators often get stuff done, lazy people don’t.

7. Is laziness the same as not caring?
Nope, that would be apathy. Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain level of apathy that a lazy person must achieve, but one can be apathetic and not be lazy.

8. Shouldn't I feel better about being lazy? - I just feel soo guilty - what should I do about the feeling of guilt?
Here is our relativeness to the size of the universe. It is important, when being lazy, to realize that every individual is truly and honestly insignificant.

9. What’s up with the La-Z-Boy chair? Why would anyone buy a chair with that name?
Cause they are comfy

10. Has being lazy caused you to miss (at least in hindsight) a very worthwhile activity?
Not that I am aware of that would have taken effort to find out

11. What if I’m too lazy to send you any questions?
Then you should not have sent this question

12. What if you’re too lazy to actually respond to any questions?
I am skilled at being lazy, so I am not worried about that.

13. Why is it called a Lazy Susan?
Because the "Innovative Susan" wasn’t derogatory enough

14. Do you have and/or enjoy the La-Z-Boy?
We o have a La-Z-Boy, but it was purchased for the sole reason to make breast-feeding Little Man easier. Therefore the chair is the right size for Wifey and not the bigger guy she is married to.

15. What is your idea of a "lazy day"?
One that involves very little movement other than a 45 minute shower, preferable a shower with a chair in it.

16. Does sleeping in immediately constitute someone as being lazy?
Nope, sleeping is absolutely necessary, and "sleeping in" is a gift from the divine.

17. Is Godzilla lazy? I mean, he's so slow when it comes to destroying everything.
Nope, Godzilla is quite industrious. What we do not see from the movies is his extensive macramé hobby.

Now, Mothra, that Kaiju is lazy

18. Is it possible for parents to be lazy?
I have not found that to really be the case. Wifey has to be soooo un-lazy due to my laziness

19. What did you do/not do on your laziest day in history?
Uhhh… nothing. That was a silly question.

20. Are "bums" really lazy?
If by “bums” you mean srh-and-others-like-him’s ass, then "yes." If you are talking about the homeless, I am going to go with a big old “No.” Survival takes a bunch of energy.


To recap:
Sink is in and all should be usable by this evening
Dishwasher is in and all should be usable by this evening
The new kitchen is now officially usable
Wooo-hoo!
We will be cooking tomorrow
We might even be cooking this evening
Little Man said something about pancakes
And pancakes shall be his…
So it shall be written
So it shall be done

Tedium and Inactivity

I have run into a problem associated with reducing the daily amount of caffeine in my diet. I guess since I was not feeling 100% last week I did not notice the issue. Without the illness weakening my perceptive abilities I have noticed something that was not apparent to my adlepated brain. It turns out that caffeine is absolutely necessary in my professional life because my job is mind numbingly boring.

Sweet Jebus help me. My job is akin to picking up spilled toothpicks while watching paint dry. It is mindless tedium followed by large moments of inactivity. It is clipping the grass one blade at a time and watching a tree grow. It is… you are probably tired of the analogies by now, I will move on. I have the inglorious task of connecting vector lines and then watching progress bars slowly creep across my screen. Conversion progress bars… print queue progress bars… print to PDF progress bars… flattening progress bars… save progress bars… my life slowly draining progress bars… Please make it stop!

It was not until I got to work today and watched my concentrative energy slowly drained by the difficult to focus on tasks at hand did I realize that caffeine is the only thing that has kept me from sleeping on the job. The job sure as hell isn’t keeping me from taking a snooze. Trained monkeys could sleep at this desk… under-trained St Bernard’s could find slumber easy. However, squirrels on crack would not sleep through this job, because, well, they are squirrels and they are on crack.

Caffeine is all that keeps me remotely employable. Caffeine, my co-worker… Caffeine, my friend… Caffeine, my companion … Caffeine, my lover … Caffeine my savior…

To recap:
I am fighting the urge to sleep and the urge to drink more caffeine today
I hope I do not lose either of these fights
One would think that I would find a more efficient caffeine delivery system than Mountain Dew
One would be incorrect because coffee tastes like boiled socks and I am unwilling to use a pill form of caffeine
I am not a trucker
I do not drive a big rig
I am not known for hauling goods cross country in the vehicle that Peter built
I am no truck driver
I have lately been mistaking thirst for hunger
I need to drink more water
The counter-tops are stained and have three nice coats of acrylic on them
The water elements (sink and dishwasher) in our new kitchen should be attached today
Oh, Glorious Dishwasher! How we have missed you so...
That means we are only a sky-light and some cosmetics away from having Phase 2 of the construction done
Phase 3 is coming fast on its heels
Phase 3 will be interesting to say the least

Getting all political

I usually do not weigh in on politics and/or political happenings. I find that political discussions tend to bring out the absolute worst in people. There are three types of political conversations that can occur. The first two are the most common. Conversation Type the First is when people agree with each other. These political conversations tend to turn mean-spirited very quickly and devolve into attacks against other viewpoints. Basically it is almost a series of one-upmanship of who can make fun of the opposition more.

Conversation Type the Second is when people do not agree with each other. Perfectly sane people will devolve into mouth-foaming wing-nuts when presented with opposing view points. Political discussions often rapidly devolve from the ivory tower position for or against something into personal attacks often culminating into attacks on previous political decisions and family lineage. That is one of the big reasons I don’t like political conversations.

Conversation Type the Third is when one or more of the conversation participants is apathetic. The conversation gets no where and at least one person leaves the conversation wondering why they just wasted their time.

So, I do not want to get into an alternate to my stance bashing session (a la Conversation Type the First), or a personal attack argument (a la Conversation Type the Second), or a waste of my time (a la Conversation Type the Third), and that is why I stay out of political topics.

Not today though. Today I will wade fearlessly into the political slush that is today’s blogosphere. I know you are thinking that with all of the primaries going on and how active the political landscape has been lately with primary season on around us that I will be posting something about whom I would endorse if asked. Well, I am not touching that crap with a ten foot pole. That shyte is a volatile morass of explodihood. “What are you going to get all political about then?” you ask.

Well, I think it is about time that I finally allowed my bile to spew forth considering the MLB Steroid abuse issues. WTF?!?! WHY IS CONGRESS EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!? Seriously people? What is the point? Are there not enough real governmental issues going on to deal with? Aren’t there poor folk, rich folk, old folk, disabled folk, minority folk, white folk, military folk, foreign folk, etc… that need decisions made about actual budgetary and legislative stuff? Shouldn’t congress be battling with each other about who gets what and how much? What does Congress care if some ball players are suping it up? How is this internal MLB matter of any interest to the United States Congress? WTH!?!?! Will there be a national law against steroid use in professional sports when this is over? Why are they wasting my money on this?!?

Hey, MLB! Take care of your own shit. Come up with a steroid policy. MLB Players Union, stop doping and grow up. Congress, get back to governmental stuff! And quit wasting my money.

To recap:
Not sure what will be for dinner tonight
We need to get the counter tops in place prior to the sink being installed
Added a feed to the site
I should see my readership just going through the roof now
Many have asked for a feed for a long time now
Many = 1 or 2
I am starting to see the light at the end of my own personal illness tunnel
Hopefully there will be some gym-time in my near future

Mea Culpa and 2 things

So last week didn’t end quite how we had hoped it would end. On Tuesday of last week, major demolitions to one wall were conducted in the kitchen remodel. Dust went everywhere. We stayed at the hoose Tuesday evening, but Wifey and Little Man’s breathing determined that staying at Mimma’s house was necessary Wednesday and possibly Thursday . Wednesday afternoon rolls around and both Wifey and I feel like burnt monkey asses. We initially attribute this feeling to the dust inhalation, but later on we realize it is because we are ILL. We contaminated Mimma’s house until late Thursday evening and sickened our own residence for the rest of the weekend.

It was a bizarre illness because it would come in waves. Wifey would be out of commission for a bit and then it was my turn. Fever, sinus stuff, and sore throat… you know, burnt monkey assery. I did not feel like I got on top of it until Sunday night at about 9 pm. Little Man is still in the midst of it, and it seems like Wifey might be on the mend.

Whilst staying at Mim’s I was unable to post because her house is curiously cut-off from civilization. You see, she lives in a mythical house that does not have cable tv or a connection to the Internets. Not to mention that the she cannot receive the network channels due to static interference. It is a curious place.

What the above three paragraphs boil down to is the reasoning behind the lack of posting last week.

Two more things.

Thing the first: the BIG train show was this weekend. Little Man and I medicated ourselves up and went to the show. A few observances of the festivities.

There were a couple of the model train layouts that were not working. I have trouble with this lack of train movement. This is THE biggest train show event for the area annually and you have trains idle on the tracks? That makes no sense. Go to Plan B if your super de-dooper computerized controlling system isn’t working. There are kids here that want to see trains moving.

I got really tired of the overweight 50 to 60 year old white guys announcing how much better this was than video games because you are actually watching something real happen. If model train hobbies were more active hobbies I might be okay with the disgust that you hold to mere video games, but you are still in your basement being rather sedentary. Well done. You and gamers could get into wheezing contests and tie. Your high horse is in the basement and malnourished, so get off of it.

Whilst being directed by my 4.5 year old, I got interviewed by the local paper about the event. Seven minutes of conversation led to 4 lines in the Sunday Metro Section. That’s us at the end of the article.

Thing the second:
Conversation with Little Man:
LM: Papa
Me: Yes?
LM: Papa
Me: Yes, Sweetie?
LM: Papa, you know what?
Me: What’s that, Big Guy?
LM: I don’t like… I don’t like… I don’t like…
Me: What don’t you like, Little Man?
LM: I don’t like… mean people and diarrhea.

To recap:
Mean people suck
So does diarrhea
Supposedly getting the stove hooked up today
It will be nice being able to cook at home again
Goodness I am tired

20 Questions Tuesday: 78 - Remodeling

This week’s 20 Questions Tuesday deals with remodeling. Since we are in the thick of a major kitchen remodel, it only seems reasonable to seek and answer questions concerning this particularly life interfering task?

Thanks this week go to Dustin, Ex-Tree Monkey, Sassyfrass (aka Nadolny), and JimmyLegs.

On to the questions:
1. How does one become “handy?” I was going to ask how one becomes a handy man, but I’m didn’t want to risk any easy jokes about my love of clothes and effeminate gestures.
One becomes handy purely out of necessity. Home ownership will do that to you.

2. Is it wrong that KJ and I can’t even fix a broken drawer (broken in that it keeps jumping off its tracks)?
I like how you lumped KJ in there with you… very chivalrous. It really depends on what repairs the drawer needs to make it consistently work properly. If it is a matter of just re-setting the drawer on the rails… judgements might be rendered.

3. When working of said remodeling project, do you and Wifey have separate tasks, or do you try and do things as a team? If the answer is “team” – has this ever resulted in the phrase “FINE!! Fix is yourself Bob Villa !!” and then someone storming out of the room?
Wifey is not terribly informed as to whom Bob Villa is aside from the Sears gimmick tool commercials.

4. Countertops: Granite or other?
Other. Granite is soooo 2002

5. Is asking for magnetic drill bits for my birthday a lame request?
I would find the usefulness of drill bits whose sole purpose was to drill into magnets a bit underwhelming. Unless, of course, these drill bits could drill into the magnetosphere...

6. Are you enjoying the remodeling process? How much work are you doing yourself and how much are you getting subbed out?
The remodeling process to this point has been relatively painless, but at the moment it is a bit tiresome. I would say that (at least) 90% is being done by the contractor. We are attempting to do the stuff we can, which is not much.

7. Are you or Wifey more excited about a brand new kitchen?
Right now, Wifey is, but it changes by day.

8. Are you getting new “fancy” appliances? You know I love me some fancy appliances!
We got appropriate new appliances for a starter home. The fridge is not a Sub-Zero, the range is not a Viking, and the dishwasher is not a KitchenAid, but they are all new and all Energy-Star rated.

9. How’s Little Man handling all the extra dust, and the fact that you can’t find the microwave to make his “chickies”?
He has not been home during the really nasty dust laden processes, so far. So his asthma has not really flared up due to construction debris. Our contractor has been making a stalwart effort in trying to minimize dust as well. That has helped a ton. We made sure that the microwave is still easily located, so he is still chickiable whenever the need arises.

10. Have you felt the manliness intensified when holding a sawz-all? I don't know that anyone really needs one, but man do they feel manly.
If one’s job is not as a contractor, ownership of the sawz-all is really superfluous. Since I am not heavily associated with the demo portions of the job, I have not been privy to the use of the sawz-all this time around. I have wielded one before and I do believe it is heavily infused with testosterone.

11. How careful do you have to be when remodeling with regards to dust and such and Little Man’s allergies?
So far the work has been confined to an area that Little Man does not frequent, but as the processes become more invasive to the house, we are trying to minimize his exposure as much as possible.

12. What is the hit list of your future remodeling projects?
After this one, I think (other than cosmetic stuff that occasionally comes up) the upstairs bathroom is all that is left.

13. Has Wifey explained that when you finish the last room, that women actually think you’re supposed to start over? It's a never ending vicious circle I tell you!
I can only imagine that she will be longing for the upstairs bath to be fixed.

14. Wood?!? Feelings? Discuss amongst yourselves
I love it. We have hardwood floors throughout the house except for the flooring in the kitchen. We are going to have a butcher-block counter top for the new kitchen. Wood is good.

15. Do you ever take models of airplanes and stuff, then blow them up, and finally reassemble them thus “remodeling?”
I did the first two processes without the third being tacked on.

16. What kind of photo shoot do you prefer? Oh, wait my bad. I thought you wanted questions re: modeling.
A shoot without animals or children... and bikini clad models

17. Why are you remodeling your kitchen?
Well, it all boils down to two reasons really.
Reason 1 – add a bathroom to the downstairs
Reason 2 – make the office upstairs into a nursery
You see, we are pushing the kitchen into a mostly un-used sun-porch, and then turning the existing kitchen into an office with a bathroom so we can make the upstairs office into a nursery.

18. I forgot what 18 was?
Me too

19. So if Tyra Banks gives up this talk show host gig and gets back on the cat-walk, would she be, in effect, remodeling?
No, that would be un-retiring.

20. Let’s say that you are showing Little Man how to behave by acting in the way that you want him to act. He seems to catch on for a bit, but then regresses back to previous behavior. What is it called when you demonstrate through your actions how you want him to behave for a second or third time?
Remodeling… Uuugggghhhh, that was just painful.


To Recap:
Day two of the significant destruction
They are opening the pass-through from the existing kitchen to the new kitchen today
It will be nice
We will dine on left-overs that can be heated in the microwave
Meeting hell today
3+ hours in one meeting that went to nowheres
Fast-like

Appliances

All the components are in place. We have cabinetry (one needs to be replaced due to a break). We have countertops. We have appliances (one needs to be replaced since it was clearly dropped). The issue is that all of these constituent pieces are not assembled. Our dining room is a maze of cabinetry in boxes. Our existing kitchen is applianceless, and the new kitchen is not ready for prime time as of yet.

Supposedly the major wall demolition will be occurring tomorrow to remove the old exterior wall to create a 6 1/2 foot entry way from the old kitchen to the new. Associated with this demo, the electrical work is supposed to be finalized, the gas line is supposed to be switched and the plumbing should be finalized as well. Should should should. I have money on all those things not happening tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, I think our contractor will do everything in his power to make it happen tomorrow, but I just understand that there are just too many systems and processes that have to happen correctly for that to be realistic. Hopefully we will only be out of commission kitchen-wise for a mere week.

Therefore this week will be a week of restaurant frequenting. It takes having a workable kitchen arrangement to actually cook. Tonight? I have no idea what will be for dinner, but we aren’t cooking it. Tomorrow? The same.

So… here we are in the midst of the Kitchen re-model for reals.

To recap:
No stove and no dishwasher make SRH go crazy
By all means these are not the only conditions to do so
“Cleaning out” the old fridge and detaching the other appliances took a long time last night
And this morning
I define “cleaning out” to mean “removing food” and not the application of any specific cleanser in this instance
They delivered the new stuff at 8:15 this morning
I unhooked the dishwasher at 7 this morning
That involved many tools and much banging about in the kitchen and basement
I am exhausted
Little Man is a bit under the weather today
This “a bit under the weather” seems to be lingering for him
Wifey is having trouble maintaining her eat/not eat balance
She goes from fine to starving tiger in 2 seconds
Thanks pregnancy!