March 20 has come and gone, and it is now officially Springtime. Yeah! Springtime! Woo-hoo! Springtime! Yet, here we are below freezing again… stupid Springtime and its stupid cold mornings. Today’s topic is “Spring” because Spring has sprung, bitches! Oh, God, why is it so cold then?

Thanks today go to birthday boy Chris Ring, some other guy who is quite annoying, and the Internet which is both broad and deep… Onto the questions!

1. For me it's the smell of cut grass, what screams Spring to you?
Goddamn annoying birdsongs when I am trying to sleep.

2. Spring is FINALLY here, I'm going to ______________?
Air out my car, so stale and stinky…. /shudder

3. Spring brings the Ice Cream Truck, jingle jingle, favorite truck treat?
Favorite truck treat? Pulling an audible here and eschewing the ice cream truck for a food truck. At this point I will say BBQ pulled pork from Ray Ray's Hog Pit.

4. Ideal Spring temperature?
Morning of around 50° F and afternoon of 72° F (10°C to 22.22° C for my metric folks)… this happens for about 1.5 days a year. I am often dealing with less than ideals.

5. All that snow melted and we found a ______________ in the front yard.
Dead yeti…. you heard me right… dead Himalayan Sasquatch… dead.

6. What is your least favorite thing about springtime?
Working… now ask me what my least favorite thing about Winter, Autumn, and Summer

7. So, Winter is pretty much one thing, Summer is pretty much one thing, Autumn is pretty much one thing, and Spring is a whole bunch of things (coiled metal that stores and releases energy, water coming from the ground, and a season)... What’s up with that?
I don’t get it either. The season should have a seasonal name instead of a description. Fall is the colloquial name for Autumn… Spring should be the colloquial name of something.

8. So, on the Vernal Equinox can you actually balance an egg on its nose?
Yes, yes you can. You can also do that on May 25th. It turns out it is just balancing an egg… can be done everyday, equinox or not, it just requires good balancing and patience.

9. Best kind of bed spring?
Well… I use a “space age memory foam” mattress bed thingy… so I am not sure which bed springs are the best. Last I saw via a commercial is that a squared off coiled spring works best.

10. Is it any surprise that most religions have a rebirth holiday associated in the spring?
No. It is not surprising at all… Is this a question? It seems more rhetorical than anything. Are you just using me to get your question on the Internet? self-obsessed jerk…

11. What is the best season to have a birthday?
It is a tie between Spring and Summer. My fam knows why…. 2 Spring and 2 Summer… I guess all of you know why now.

12. Are springs potential or kinetic energy?
I believe it is a special instance of elastic potential energy.

13. Would it be better to have 2 seasons such as a rainy and a dry season?
I imagine it is for many since many people live in areas with wet v dry seasons… Since I have only lived in temperate areas, I cannot comment on the value of living in a rainy v dry season. That being said, I enjoy having 4 seasons… not the 64 microseasons we are having this year in Ohio… hot, cool, hot, cool, cold, cool, hot, cool, hot, cool, cold, cool, cold, cool, cold, cool, cold, crazy-ass-cold, cool, crazy-ass-holy-shit-cold, cool, screw-it-your-car-won’t-start-cold, cool, cold, cool, cold, etc….

14. If it’s Spring, why is is goddamn snowing?
To eff with runners and my sinuses.. mainly my sinuses though.

15. What puts a Spring in your step?
Adequate sleep… so that doesn’t happen

16. Who would you like to have a Spring Fling with?
Um… well… It would be awkward if I picked anyone in the real world, so I think I will stay away from real people. Gonna go with Ming-Na Wen… She is just rocking it lately Agents of SHIELD tonight… Well… I will catch it tomorrow on Hulu+

17. So the seasons are flipped in the southern hemisphere. Does that mean the names of the seasons are flipped as well, or is Winter warm down there and Summer cold?
Nope, it is Autumn in the southern hemi.

18. What is the biggest spring you have ever been to? The hydrological kind, not the coiled wire kind.
I have been to Blue Hole, Florida once, but that was long ago. It was gorgeous and springy

19. Oingo Boingo, Springy, yes?
That does have a Spring kind of flair to it. Danny Elfman does not have a springy flair to him.

20. Favorite Springtime song? and GO!
ah… ah… gimme a second. um… “I Can See Clearly Now.” Oh, God, I’m old. Let me try that again. Um… let’s see...crap… I’m still old. U2’s “Beautiful Day.”

To recap:
It is supposedly Spring
I find that dubious at best
I need to post this and read some for my class
I also need some more people to ask some questions
Happy Birthday Mr Ring!
Man, I am tired
Have a great week everyone