Free at last, Free at last

Two things to chat about today.

Firstly, good Lord my Mom is lazy!

So the last 2 times I have called my parents an odd thing has occurred. Mom has answered the phone and then she has 3-way called my dad. Mind you my parents do not live in a sprawling mega mansion in the posh areas of Birmingham, Alabama. My parents just moved to a 1-story ranch only 4 houses away from my childhood split-level. So, my parents in their need for a more simplified life due to their advanced ages of 62 and 61 (their words, not mine) decided that the stairs in the old house were too much to handle. They purchased this house so they would not have to use any stairs, because they feel that they are soooooo frikkin old. So, in this 1-story ranch without any stairs my mom feels it necessary to call my dad on a phone instead of walking the 50 feet (at most) to where he is and telling him to get on the phone. Or instead of raising her voice to a level that my dad can hear say something to the effect of “Our son’s on the phone!” She takes laziness to a new level. The issue is that she doesn’t want to get out of her chair.

This has always been an issue for her. While I was still living at home Mom would wrap a rubber band around the corded phone leaving the phone cord dangling 10 feet from the phone jack to her chair. People would have to step over the phone cord to get to the kitchen. That is a combination of both lazy and cheap. Lazy to have the phone sitting in your lap, and cheap to not have ponied up the $20 to get a cordless.

Secondly, Little Man is making us look bad at the local grocery store.

Okay it is bad enough that Little Man is running away from us in the grocery store, but the fact that he is yelling “Free! Free! Free!” makes it look like we never let him out of the house. I am not sure what word he is trying to say, but it comes out as “FREEE!” Both Wifey and I are wondering if it is supposed to be “three” or “tree” or something along those lines, but it sounds like “free,” and “free” sounds bad.

So early on in his walking days we let him out of the shopping cart. He hated sitting in the cart, and we want to be responsive to our child’s needs. We thought that letting him out so he could explore his world would be an okay thing, and we would just make sure he stayed near us. Mistakes were made. Lessons were learned. Ramifications are being dealt with. Let’s just say that it looks like Little Man will have to do his own grocery shopping now.

To recap:
Get off your lazy ass and tell dad I’m on the phone
“Free” of what, exactly, Mr. Little Man? Free of what?
Making Christmas cards today
If you don’t get one in the mail within the next week or so, the Postal Service clearly dropped the ball
No really, we mailed it
Happy B-Day, G-Money