20 Questions Tuesday: 69 - No Topic

So, I am a bit tapped on topics for 20 Questions Tuesday and have decided not to have a topic for today. Basically it is a 20 Questions Free-for-All. I got questions coming at me from all sides here.

Thanks this week go to Nadolny, Dustin, Lord Pithy, and ACW. On to the questions!


1. Of you standard 20 questions submitters, what is their demographics? (i.e. friends, coworkers, family, coworkers who are friends, etc...)
This is an interesting question. I typically send out the call for questions to around 20 people. Of those 20 people, I have actually met 10. 14 are male. 10 have kid/s. (as far as I know) 6 would be considered to be older than me (more than 5 years), 3 would be considered younger (more than 5 years), and the rest would be considered to be right around the same age (within 5 years). 2 are non-US residents, but all my current questioneers are from North America. I guess I should let folk know who would like to be questioneers to email me via the email in my profile.

2. The war in Iraq, better covered by CNN, BBC or the Daily Show?
At this point? The Daily Show

3. If hippos were a different color, would they be easier to hunt? (I can see the picture now).
That depends on the color.

4. Why 20 Questions? I mean, as a self proclaimed lazy bastage, wouldn't ten be easier?
20 Questions has a cultural connotation because of the game called “20 Questions.” I should make my first question each week, “Is it bigger than a breadbox?”

5. Seeing as I am also lazy, I refuse to give you a fifth question today.
Completely understandable.

6. New Iron Man movie coming out with Robert Downey Jr.: Should I get my hopes up?
Well, let’s see. Tony Stark (Iron Man) is a super-rich guy with substance abuse issues. However will Robert Downy Jr relate? It could be good. I am keeping myself from going all fanboy on it though, I have been burned before.

7. Stuffing or Mashed Potatoes, which is superior?
Mashed Potatoes for the everyday consumption, yet stuffing can be excellent on occasion. 2 out of 3 falls to mashed potatoes.

8. What is the difference between smashed and mashed potatoes?
Smashed potatoes rarely have any extra liquid added to them to smooth them out. They tend to have more of the potato-y texture to them. Mashed potatoes typically try to not be lumpy.

9. Is it wrong that I think that people who say “smashed” potatoes are inferior to me?
Yes, it is wrong. Merely saying smashed potatoes does not indicate preference. If they choose smashed potatoes over mashed… be my guest in your feelings of superiority.

10. My wife made Lefse this weekend and I tried to put chocolate syrup on it. She reacted by calling me a “black hole of cultural respect” and threatened to not let me have any ice cream for a week. Was my infraction really so great?
Dude, potato based products should not come into contact with chocolate. Huge faux pas. Should have gone with peanut butter or jelly (but not both). I am surprised you are still married.

11. Why am I here?
Because you cannot be there.

12. If pressed, what argument would you put forth in support of "Unintelligent Design" (without referring to question No. 11)?
Ummm... the only other outstanding empirical “Unintelligent Design” proof I can think of is little old me.

13. If you awoke one Kafka morning to find your mouth and nose had been replaced with an owl's beak, how would your day be any different?
Depends, if I looked like this:

I would want to kill more Night Elves than usual, I understand you did not mention antlers, but I am taking creative license here. Otherwise, it would just make brushing my teeth unnecessary.

14. Mississippi mud: treat, or eco-disaster?
I am going to go with dessert treat. The other stuff can be referred to as silt.

15. What is your favorite word to type?
It is a tie between “banana” and “Canada,” and “anananananaananananana”

16. Surprises - any knock-your-socks-off ones recently? The pregnancy probably wasn't a complete shock so don't use that one.
Not that I can think of.

17. What is mauve?
Mauve is in the purple family of colors. It is very close to a pink in color. So it is a pink tinged light purple.

18. Any holiday contact from Capt. McArmypants?
A couple of emails. I need to respond to him.

19. Any on-line purchases as part of Cyber-Monday?
Nope

20. Are you still in the barrel with Little Man?
Okay, first off let me define “in the barrel.” In this instance, “in the barrel” means the person whom Little Man wants to spend every waking moment with if possible. At the moment, it is starting to equalize. Wifey is in the barrel sometime. I am in the barrel sometimes. Mimma is in the barrel sometimes. It just depends on his mood.



To recap:
I am feeling rather uninspired today
Wifey and I just got back from the OB
Tootsa is developing nicely
Capt. McArmypants wants us to refer to the unborn one as Voltron
I told him we would if it were quints
I am now afraid he will want us to refer to the unborn as Tranzor Z
He is a bastard like that
I might have mentioned this before
If so, whoops
If not, yea!

20 Questions Tuesday: 68 - Thanksgiving

Here we are, 2 day prior to feasting. I feel like crap. The sinuses are well plugged up and I am being spared the sore throat merely because I am somewhat upright, but I have a post to write Damnit!

I am thankful to Nadolny, Dustin, Bomber, and JW for this week’s questions.

On to the questions:

1. Worst turkey day movie ever? (My vote is for “Blood Freak”)
I am unfamiliar with Blood Freak, but its description makes it sound horrid. There are not that many Thanksgiving movies and the only one I could vaguely recall of its existence whilst looking at IMDB was this one, but I only remember commercials for it.

2. a) Turkey chemical that makes you sleepy, fact or urban legend? B)Tryptophan – evil drug, or added turkey bonus? c)How does one fight the soothing, drowsy effects of turkey consumption? (And don't even THINK of telling me to not eat turkey!)
a) It is indeed a reality and called tryptophan
b) Added turkey bonus
c) Counter act the sleep induction with caffeine

3. Turkey or ham? (No! You can't choose both)
I choose you, Ham!

4. Stuffing in or out of the turkey?
Out

5. Prefer the white or dark meat?
Is this a trick question?

6. Stuffing with odd things (like nuts or cranberries in it)?
Well it is clear that you have an opinion about stuffing. I like pretty much traditional stuffings. The craziest thing I think of for stuffing is adding some sausage to it.

7. Should Christmas decor be held of vehemently until after turkey day? Maybe with a shotgun?
I think Christmas décor is fine for the day after and beyond. I don’t understand the house down the street that added the Christmas themed light up inflatable yard ornaments the day after Halloween though.

8. If the funny hats the pilgrims wore came back into style, would you be out shopping for one immediately?
Nope, I am not a slave to fashion.

9. Which doth thou lovest more, mashed potatoes or stuffing?
Oh, thou dost injure me to the quick with thine rapier question. Must I chooseth between the two, or mightest I combine the two victuals into some kind of culinary infusion of stuffing and potatoes for mashing? I choose betwixt the two, for it is in the tween that mine happy turkey gravy shall pour over ere traveling past my teeth to my waiting maw.

10. When was the last time you had to sit at the “kiddie” table
I think it was 2 years ago, we have had some very geriatric Thanksgivings.

11. Whipped Cream or Ice Cream on your Pumpkin Pie?
Whipped Cream

12. What side dish is a "must have" on your Thanksgiving dinner plate?
Mashed Potatoes!

13. What food item at Thanksgiving is a definite "ut-uh" in your book? (as in, "ut-uh, no way I'm eatin' THAT!")
I do not understand the role of yams in the Thanksgiving day feast. Yams have no business being classified as food.

14. Will you nap after feasting?
If I am allowed by Little Man.

15. Who gets the drumsticks?
Whomever wants them. I am eating ham.

16. Who carves the turkey and do they use an electric knife of the old-fashioned manual instruments?
We have an electric knife that I give to my Dad when he is here. He finds it some sort of honorific, and either I do it or Mimma does it the other times (typically Mim though)

17. I mean, WHO buys Tofurkey, and really, do they have any guests for dinner?
I don’t understand that either. I understand when someone is a vegetarian or a vegan, but I don’t understand why they feel like they need to make their non-meat dishes look and taste similar to meat. Relish in your non-meatedness or eat some frikking meat. I believe most people who visit the cookers of tofurkey know that is what will be on the menu.

18. Where can I get one of those wide end barrel muskets so's I can have an authentic Pilgrim Thanksgiving?
I think the wide mouthed guns pilgrims are depicted with are a bit of a fanciful notion. The Pilgrims came with standard Flintlocks and Match locks of the day with regular, non-flared barrels.

19. Are your hands tired from making all the "finger turkeys" with lil' man?
He luckily doesn’t know what those are at the moment.

20. Canned or fresh cranberries?
If I have to have them, fresh.


To recap:
Not working tomorrow
Wifey said, and I misquote, “There is no way in Hell I am staying home with your parents by myself.”
She didn’t think my response of, “Little Man will be there…” very funny at all
I thought it was hilarious
Zicam is amazing
I am not sure who is controlling the temperature in my area of the building, but I think they need to wear a sweater of something
I am burning up here
Wifey needs more rest
That is not just me “drinkin’ the Kool Aid” either
Oh! Yeah!

20 Questions Tuesday: 67 - What were we thinking?!?!

It is 20 Questions Tuesday again, and since the big news from last week came out, I figured that today’s 20 questions would be all about “What in the world were you thinking?”

Thanks this week go to Dustin, Lsig, ACW, JA Coppinger, Peefer, and JW.

To the questions:

1. Are you trying to start an Army?
I will rely on my cult of personality to create an army… the people’s army.

2. I heard that children make good workers (mending socks, plowing fields, etc.). Was this your motivation?
I am so tired of taking out the trash… so, so tired

3. Is it because you wanted to name Little Man “Megatron,” but Wifey vetoed….so you think you’ll have better luck with the second one?
Oddly enough, Capt McArmypants has already started calling this one Voltron. I think that shall be vetoed in the end though. Personally I am lobbying for ROM, the Space Knight.

4. Are you concerned that with the dropping value of the dollar that you’ll need to live off the future salaries of two children as opposed to one?
I hadn’t thought of it, but that does make some fiscal sense.

5. Has Little Man been informed? What was his reaction?
Not yet. We are starting slowly with Little Man for 2 reasons. Reason 1: he doesn’t adapt to change extremely quickly. Reason 2: when he is ready he is impatient. So… so far we have started talking to him about siblings and pointing out people who are brothers and sisters. Soon we will begin talking to him about his becoming a brother.

6. Does this mean that Wifey is going to start blogging again?
That decision is between Wifey and her blog.

7. Do you anticipate an incremental or exponential increase to the chaos with the addition of Child Part II?
Logarithmic

8. How will the little man learn to share?
He will have to, and that is “how.”

9. You realize that you could, potentially, make CPT McArmypants a guardian of two?! Scary...
The world trembles, but not as much as Capt McArmypants.

10. Any feeling as to whether the little one is a boy or girl? Will you wait to find out (hope so)?
Will this one be a boy or a girl? Yes, this one will be a boy or a girl. If we can find out, we will. It all depends on how the little one will be positioned during the ultrasound.

11. Did you ever imagine a lovely woman would be silly enough to want your child TWICE?
Not in a million years.

12. Did you take the news with a cheer of joy, or a 9-1-1 call for “Man down, not breathing” ?
It was a joyful thing. This was a long and unfortunately drawn out process.

13. If it’s a daughter, will you call her “Little Woman”?
For the blog purposes, yes.

14. You’re not a big fan of sleeping, are you?
That is one of the issues. I really am a big fan of sleeping. In fact, I am a big fan of sleeping with a fan. Well, I am a big fan of sleeping with a fan on, not necessarily fornicating with a fan. I mean if you get your jollies from “doing a fan” more power to you, but merely use my fans to push air around the rooms in the house.

15. Congratulations. If a butterfly can allegedly cause a hurricane, what do you expect from the chaos of another child in the house?
Solar flares

16. Congratulations. You have no idea ... do you realize you have no idea?
I… I have no idea.

17. Congratulations. Why didn't you just ask for one of mine?
Ummm… How to put this delicately? You have already ruined yours. There we go, delicate.

18. Are you familiar with the phrase glutton for punishment?
I have heard of this phrase. Why do you mention it now?

19. How do you think Little Man will react to Wifey's physical changes?
I am sure he will point out those changes as much as he can. He doesn’t really let things go un-noticed.

20. Isn't it nice to get a redo on the stuff you may have fudged the first go round?
I don’t think that is how it works, although this kid will learn the joys of strollerdom.


To Recap:
Not sure what is for dinner tonight
Heck, I am not sure what I am having for lunch
Basically for me, meals are all up in the air today
Little Man and I went to get soup last night
It was quite the tasty treat
Wifey is awful busy these days
Have I ever mentioned that whenever I type “busy” it always ALWAYS gets typed out “busty” and I have to delete the “t”
Cheers

20 Questions Tuesday: 66 - Oh Canada, 2

Here we are, back to the normal events of the week. There is no bloagaversary to get in the way of normal posting. So we are going back to the 20 Questions Tuesday category of Canada.

Thanks this week need to go to Bomber, JW, Capt McArmypants, and some random folk at the office.
On to the questions:

1. Which pronunciation do you prefer "zee" or "zed"?
Zed is both how the Canucks pronounce the letter and the numeral “0.” I like Zed for “0” but not for “Z.”

2. Favorite provence? (quick, name one!)
I have only ever been to Ontario, so I would have to go with that one. Okay without reference Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, Quebec, Ontario, New Brunswick, Saskatchewan, Alberta, Manitoba, British Columbia, and the Northwest Territories. How did I do? Well let me see…. Nunavut is the territory I forgot. Not bad for a Yank.

3. Molson or Moosehead?
Molson, but only because I don’t think I have had a Moosehead. My roommate freshman and sophomore years at Kent was a hockey player and it seems that at least in Kent, Ohio Molson was the choice of the Canadian hockey players.

4. Do we blame Canadians for Tim Horton's or thank them?
I think we thanks them for Timbits but c\blame them for horrible maple frosting. That stuff is hideous and that used to be one of my favorite doughnuts ever

5. Hottest Canadian superstar? (Alannis, Shania, Pam Anderson,...)
Hmmm… I haven’t really thought of where people are from that I find hot. Surprising I nknow, you would think I would have made a map of it. Let’s see… I can’t really do a Google search for “Canadian Hottie” without running into an inordinate amount of porn, so I will go with Elisha Cuthbert.

6. How'd you like wearing the funny plastic rain ponchos on the "Maiden of the Mist"
Fasionable yet cheap.

7. You DID ride on the Maiden of the Mist... Right?
We were lucky enough to get there 4 days before it shut down for the season. It really makes the trip more worth while. There is no better way to experience the power of the falls (safely) than to take the boat into the plunge pool area of the Horseshoe Falls.

8. How much of Strange Brew was actually filmed in Canada eh?
I am going to guess on this one since I cannot find this information anywhere. I will go with 80% in Canada with pick-ups done in LA.

9. Are lumberjacks a product of Canada?
Their greatest export. They do export them, right?

10. Am I the only person in the world (aside from Canada) that enjoyed SCTV?
Nope, but bunches of folk don’t even realize it exists. Lots of big names from SCTV.

11. Canadians seem to don't litter. Why is this? Are they dead inside or something?
I find this amount of cleanliness a bit distressing as well. They also don’t tend to jaywalk either. Very odd bunch. Like laws are meant to be followed or something. If they didn’t go higher than the speed limit I would question their humanity.

12. "Blogaversary" So in Canada is this not considered a really really lame word mainly used by "hosers"?
Your wording is a bit confusing in the question. You negate the question prior to asking. Are you saying that you don’t think “Blogaversary” is a cool word? How about when I put “Third” in front of it like this: “Third Blogaversary”

13. So, there a bunch of Sasquatch up there in the Canadian Rockies?
If they exist anywhere, that is where I bet we would find them.

14. What is the difference between a Sasquatch and a Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is a colloquial term used as a more “common” name. Who wants to write out Sasquatch when they can write Bigfoot.

15. Why the long O?
I am not sure why American words that are typically pronounced with the “oo” or “ou” sounds get a long “o” sound instead. Any Canadians wanna tackle this one?

16. Ummm… Moosejaw? Seriously… Moosejaw?
I know. WTF?!?! Then again many of the states have stupid named cities as well. Burnt Corn, Alabama comes to mind.

17. Why does Canadian money look like the money found in the American game Monopoly? Is Milton Bradley trying to subvert our children?
It is a subtle ploy by Milton Bradley, but one should expect nothing but subtlety from Canadian co-conspirators unless of course Milton Bradley is a Canadian company and then this question is completely moot.

18. Pourquoi, ne sont pas les questions également en Français ?
Parce que, Les Etats Unis ne sont pas bilingue… ou “Pourquoi pas.”

19. What is the greatest Canadian invention?
The zipper.

20. Why is it called Canada?
“Canada” is a bastardization of the Iroquoian word for “Village” or “Settlement.”

To recap:
Still not sleeping great in the SRH household
I need to get back to the work stuff
So not a long recap today
In fact a very short recap
I promise that you will get a real post tomorrow
Promise

20 Questions Tuesday: 65 - 3rd Blogaversary

Who would have thought that I would still be doing this crap? Really, Who? I want names and addresses!

It has bee three long and grueling years of making shit up Monday through Thursday. I have actually made some virtual friends since starting this crap up and I hope that I have given out some laughs as well as good information concerning Orapred (still one of my top attractors to this blog, but the top attractor by far is the Eddie Vedder pic that Wifey linked to in a 20 questions a long time ago).

Since starting this blog I have taken the number one spot on Google for the query “Hippo Enemy.” I was in the top ten for “Turtle Porn” for a while and I think I am pretty far up there for searches a bout the “Yeti.”

Thanks this week go to Allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants, Lsig, ACW, Dustin, Dr B-Dawg, and Atmikha.

The questions

1. Do you find it odd that the word blogaversary hints at the words averse and adversary?
Not even remotely odd. In fact, I would almost expect the word to also have similarities with boredom, and inane, but that word would be blogboradverarynane.

2. Three years ago, did you imagine your blog to be where it is today? If not, how is it different?
By “where it is” I can only assume you mean geospatially. In that case, Yes, I did imagine that my blog would reside where it does today on one of Google’s servers clusters most likely in Nebraska.

3. Do you expect to still be doing this three years from now?
In some ways yes, but in others... No. Yes: I do expect to be doing some kind of creative updating to something. No: Blogging is already something “so 2005,” so in 2010, I imagine the vehicle for my updated creative outlet will be different.

4. Is three really the magic number, like the School House Rock song claims?
Yes

5. Have your typing skills improved after blogging for three years?
Sadly my typing skilz still hover around “craptastic” like when I started this.

6. I think we can all agree Blogaversary is a dumb word. If you were to theoretically give up on that dumb word and go with a really cool one like "Bloscar", in terms of favorite blog entry so far, who would the "Bloscar" go to? In terms of special effects who would the "Bloscar" go to? In terms of supporting cast who would this years Bloscar go to? If you got Frank Sinatra to post from "beyond the grave" (to be said in an eerie voice) on your Bloscar blog entry and his post was too long would you edit his post? Do you think a blog about "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" should ever be beaten by a blog about "Gladiator"? Because if the Gladiator blog was deemed the better of the two, it might make me loose faith in you and your stupid Bloscars. I would then deem your Bloscars some sort of bizarre hypocritical popularity contest where the judges have no clue what is popular. In fact, I am tired of you stupid Bloscars! I find them somewhere between racist and patronizing and I struggle to find how they are even remotely relevant anymore. Good day sir!
Ummm… I think I will refrain from answering this one.


7. What is the appropriate attire for a blogaversary party?
A toga

8. If a hippo were to send you a blogaversary gift, would you A) return to sender, B) accept it politely and then re-gift it, C) destroy it gleefully?
It really depends on the gift, but I would imagine that with a hippo’s limited resources most gifts would be made from hippo fecal matter. I would therefore choose A) return to sender.

9. How many readers do you usually have for your daily offering? Which one of them is your favorite?
I have about 30 to 40 people who look regularly. Sometimes they visit more than once a day. I also get about 20 random visitors. As to “Which one of them is my favorite?” Why, you (inclusive) are, of course.

10. If a blog is published in the woods with no one to read it, does it make a sound?
Since blogs really only exist digitally, I will go with a “That’s a Negative, Ghost Rider” on that one.

11. You sometimes seem to struggle for content. Do you enjoy the daily creative challenge, or has it become a chore?
Yes

12. Can I get all my time back? I've invested quite a lot of time reading this blog and have done a self-assessment and found that your blog is lacking.
No refunds or exchanges without validated receipt

13. What kind of gift are you getting your blog on your 3rd anniversary (traditionally this is the leather anniversary…)?
I am giving it the gift of a Blogaversary post. Like a card just not from Hallmark and not worth any monetary value.

14. If you were to get your blog a gift, what is the mathematical probability that Wifey would make a snide comment?
The probability would be 1.

15. How many times have you cheated on your blog in the past three years? Remember, Baby Jesus can hear your lies.
I am not sure I understand the definition of “cheated” in context to the blog. Do you mean, how many other blogs have a posted to as SRH? None. Sure I have commented and I have my superhero blog that needs massive updates, but I don’t think that I have guest posted anywhere.

16. If someone offered to buyout your blog, what would be your price (in U.S. Dollars, EUROS, or slices of Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake)?
This blog isn’t for sale! I would never sell it, but if you were thinking about buying it I would be curious as to the number you came up with…

17. Does if feel like it's been three years?
Excruciatingly so… blogwise, of course

18. What is the most satisfying thing about blogging?
The “tappa tappa tappa” of typing it.

19. Do you hope to accomplish anything other than a taking a break from the workday tedium?
A little bit of creative discipline as well as a honing of a voice that is not entirely “me.”

20. Will there be any changes or new characters added during the fourth season?
We shall see… I have been toying around with the idea of dot com-ing and then creating a members only forum for everyone to chat, but then I realized I am no where near the critical mass necessary for a forum.

And 2 to grow on!

21. Will there be before and after pictures of the kitchen remodel?
Yes, Yes there will be

22. Do you prefer reading a blog or writing a blog?
A little of Column A and a little of Column B.


To Recap:
Next week I will pick up where I left off with the Canadian questions
It has been a wonderful 3 years
Today has been absolutely nuts
The 2nd person plural form is hardly ever used without modification
You Guys, All of you, Y’all, All y’all
Why is that?
Tomorrow is Halloween
That means so very little to me
Maybe I will dress up my blog
What should it be for Halloween?
And the rest of the week

20 Questions Tuesday: 64 - Oh, Canada

Since Wifey and I went on an impromptu trip to Cananada (misspelled on porpoise), I figured a good topic for today would be Cananananada.

So without further ado, Thanks this week go to Tree Monkey, Belsum, Dr B-Dawg, J A Coppinger, ACW, Lsig, and Lord Pithy.

On to the questions:

1. a)Why does everyone up there say “AH”? b)When ya'll talked to those Canadians, did you notice that they all talked funny? Is it because they all wear dentures due to hockey accidents as children? c) Why do all Canadians say "eh" at the end of each phase?
a) “Ah” is what you say at the doctor and/or dentists office. Canadians are known for adding “eh” to end of their sentences.
b) They do talk funny and it is due to the aboundance of the extraneous “U’s” that they favour in their writing. The missing teeth due to hockey related injuries is why they are ugly.
c) The “eh” at the end of sentences is really more of a polite thing, really. They are basically asking, “Do you understand what I am saying?” by using their ubiquitous “eh.” So polite… just so polite

2. Where’s the coolest place in Canada you’ve ever been and why?
I have only been to the Niagara Falls area of Canada, so that would be the coolest and the uncoolest place all at the same time.

3. Did you need a passport to get into the country? I heard they are starting to require us American’s to have one.
You do need your passport to cross now. A certified birth certificate and photo ID used to be enough, but now you need the passport.

4. Is “Canadian Bacon” the best Michael Moore film? Discuss.
I think so mainly because it has John Candy in it.

5. Which celebrities need to shut up and get the hell back to Canada?
The celebs I would like to shut up aren’t from Canada.

6. How old were you before you realized that “Strange Brew” is “Hamlet”? Did someone have to point it out to you?
Wow, I just learned that from this question. I feel naive and sheltered.

7. Which side of Niagara Falls is more conducive to romance - the American or Canadian side?
Ummm… I am married; I wouldn’t know… just kidding honey!

8. Is it true that Canadian maple leaves are actually throwing stars that grow on trees, and Canadians are secretly waiting to attack the French portions of Canada with their maple leaf throwing, ninja army?

Ixnay on the Anadiancay Injanays!

9. Is there REALLY a Canada, or is it just an American cultural myth . . . like the North Pole? Isn’t Canada really just USA North?
Canada is a real place and it is not merely a version of the US that is a wee bit north of most of the US. You can tell it is different than the US by the quality of beer production.

10. What do Canadians do in between hockey seasons?
Curling, but that is just a guess.

11. Is Canada really just like California with ice?
Nope, more like Minnesota with a bit more ice.

12. Why does Quebec want to secede?
The better question is “Why doesn’t Quebec want to succeed?”

13. a) Why the maple leaf and not a moose head for their flag/national symbol? B) I notice the Canadian flag has a leaf on it. Is it a country of Druids?
a) Duh, Moosehead is a beer and one should never confuse a beer with a flag. It just is not pretty
b) Quebec flag has four Fleur de Lice on it, but no one thinks that they are a province full of Boy Scouts, why would a leaf indicate druidity?

14. Considering our many cultural similarities, why is hockey so popular in Canada and so not here?
Honestly, I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is that the season is too long for Americans and there are too many games. The game that gets the most rabid fanbase in the US is American football (the NFL), since there are so few games and the season is not that long, each game becomes an event. It is difficult to tailgate when the game is on a Tuesday evening.

15. When was your first-ever visit to Canada?
When I was 13… I was curious and it seemed harmless at the time…

16. Cage match! Two Canadians enter, one leaves: William Shatner or Shania Twain. Who you got?
Shania takes Shatner 2 of 3 falls, but Shatner would own her the first round just because he fights dirty.

17. Why the hell don't Canadian geese stay in Canada? I hate them so much.
Cause it gets cold up there! If I were a bird I would not stay up there. Freeze my damn ass feathers off…

18. Why do they keep exporting their damn quarters to the states?
I think they mainly do it because while they are inordinately polite and law-abiding, they are also a little passive aggressive and hold a grudge.

19. On what do they base their sense of superiority: national health care or reputation for peace?
Are these the only choices? Cause the relative stability of their currency seems to be up there at the moment. Remember when going to Canada was like buying everything at a fire sale? It is alll 30% off.

20. Oh, Canada!
Frankly, this statement makes me feel a little dirty.

To recap:
So many questions about Canada
I have enough to push this to next week as well
Except that next week is the Blogaversary
So next week will be about the Blogaversary
Then the following week will be Oh, Canada part Deux
Not sure what will be for dinner tonight
I have bunches of stuff to do
I am missing some software to do it
I am lacking training on the missing software to do it
These two “lacks” make for some hard work later this weekend
I did mention that the Blogaversary is in one week, right?
Presents?!?!
Hmmmm?!?!?!

20 Questions Tuesday: 63 - Morning

It is Tuesday again and time for some more 20 questions. The fine folk that I work with are completely cut off from the blog… makes me contemplate talking about them. However there are still a few of them that play from home, so that is a no go. (Just kidding guys, I would never talk bad about you… really).

The topic for today is Morning. I am not a morning person, so this should be interesting. Thanks this week go to TheMikeStand, Tree Monkey, Dustin, Nadolny, and JW. On to the questions.


1. Simon & Garfunkel's "Morning Has Broken", or Sheena Easton's "Morning Train" -- which would you rather hear for a week straight emanating from your clock radio at 5:30 AM?
Why on God’s green earth am I getting up at 5:30am for 7 days straight? If I had to choose I would go with Sheena Easton. She is waaaay hotter than Simon and/or Garfunkle.

2. What is the worst or most embarrassing mistake you've made (at work or otherwise) that you had to blame on morning brain?
I am sure there are blunders and gaffs as a direct result of my morning cognition, but through the miracle of denial and repression, I cannot recall any.

3. Have you ever woken up in the wee hours of the morning (like, say, 3AM) and mistakenly started your morning routine several hours too early?
Once, you don’t make that mistake twice. The issue I have is that a shower tends to wake me up. I was awake waaaay too early that day.

4. What is it with morning radio hosts (public radio excepted)? Do you think they're all on amphetamines, or just that annoying naturally? Seriously, those people should be shot.
I think they are annoying naturally and that is pretty much the only job they can get because they are so damned annoying. I don’t understand why it is acceptable by humanity at large to allow those people to darken my radio dial.

5. If you had your choice, what time in the morning would you prefer to wake up?
10 am

6. What is your favorite breakfast food? What's your favorite morning food?
I like me some French toast something fierce. It is best if there has been a light dusting of powdered sugar on it and a hint of cinnamon in the batter.

7. Is Little Man a morning person?
I would say that he is kind of a morning person. He wakes up anywhere between 6:45 am and 7:30 am every day, but is not given to super late sleeping in or super early wake times typically.

8. How do you wake up? By Little Man, radio, buzzer, etc?
Typically these days I wake up via Little Man jumping on me. Pre-Little Man: radio alarm. Pre-Wifey: buzzer.

9. Favorite morning weather (fog, sun, rain, snow, etc.)?
Unless I am driving, I love the fog in the morning.

10. Best morning reading material?
Morning is too early to read.

11. Do you like the Oasis album “What’s the Story, Morning Glory?”
I don’t own any Oasis stuff not necessarily because I do not like their music. I don’t own it because they really think they are THAT good. I cannot be feeding into that kind of ego with my hard earned money.

12. If you woke up one morning and it was raining donuts…would you see that as a “glass half full situation?”
I believe at that point the cup runeth over

13. Describe the difference in the traffic patterns at 530am in the morning versus normal rush hour.
At 5:30 am there is nary a vehicle on the road and most traffic lights are still on the night “blink” cycle. Normal rush hour just has more traffic and therefore much more delay. It all goes back to queuing theory.

14. How many times have you mooned people? (mooning is only one letter away from morning you know).
I don’t think I have ever mooned anyone. If I have it was completely unintentional and I shall apologize profusely here and now in this more or less public forum. “To those of you who might have had the unfortunate occasion to view my unclad pale bum, I am so sorry for any mental pain and anguish I have caused.”

15. Coffee, mountain dew, tea, or another beverage of choice for morning wake up?
Mountain Dew and not those punk ass 12oz cans or the wimpy 20oz bottles. Nope, I consume the 24oz variety for my wake up call. The extra 4oz are the 4oz of wake up.

16. What is Little Man’s morning routine?
Well, he wakes up and yells for either Papa or Momma (usually Papa) then he comes into our bedroom and sits down between Wifey and I so he can watch DVD’s or something on the TV until we really wake up about 20 minutes later. Then he usually sends Mamma down to fetch him his breakfast. He eats his breakfast on our bed, and then gets dressed and heads downstairs. It seems that our bed is his staging area.

17. Ok. You’re a dad, so my question is- Will my son EVER let me sleep until at least 8 in the morning on my days off again?
Not for a while. Sprout will need to become a bit more independent before he allows you to sleep in. Then he will still be getting up and just doing his own thing. Sometimes that seems scarier.

18. What morning factors ensure a good day for you? (Don't forget that your blog is rated "PG")
Being able to go back to bed. Sometimes being able to go back to sleep is even better than sleeping in.

19. The lovely wife asks, "What was the earliest you've ever gotten up on Christmas morning?"
Hmmm… probably 7 am. My parents had a rule that we could not head down for Christmas Morning festivities until after 8.

20. When was the last time you and Wifey watched morning occur?
It has been a long long time since we have actually watched a sunrise.


To recap:
I feel like I am being pulled in several different directions
And none of the directions lead to the Cheesecake Factory
That makes me sad
None of them seem to go past a Krispy Kreme either
Pretty much those paths don’t lead anywhere sugar filled
My brother should be in the Green Zone tomorrow
Capt. McArmypants is still in Afghanistan
I am traveling to Charleston, West Virginia tomorrow
That ought to be insanely boring
3.5 hours of driving
One way
Then after the meeting…
3.5 hours driving on the way home
Yeee-uck

20 Questions Tuesday: 62 - Reading

Today is 20 Questions Tuesday and I am home with a sick Little Man. By a “sick Little Man” I do not mean a little man wioth skilz beyond compare, I mean a little boy who is hacking and coughing his way into America’s heart. Anyway, I sent the call out yesterday for 20 questions and was blessed with many prompt returns. Thanks this week go to Dustin, Lsig, Nadolny, and JA Coppinger.

To the questions:

1. Best sci-fi book to read when you’re 25?
Hmmm I am more of a fantasy buff than a sci-fi-er, but I would go with… umm… Orson Scott Card and his book Ender’s Game. I would not, however, continue with the series. The book is wonderfully self contained.

2. Reading + Little Man: What does he request at story time?
All sorts of stuff. His group that is on massive rotation right now include Guess How Much I Love You, Dr Suess’s ABC Book (you may recognize this one from some previous posts) , these 2 Kipper books, an informational comic about asthma, and some board books from when he was a baby.

3. If I type the lyrics “Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high, take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow…” will that song get stuck in your head all day?
I hate you

4. Last book you read that you wish you could get your money back for it.
That’s the funny thing, when I start not liking a book, I usually just walk away from it, but there is this series of books by Celia Dart-Thorton called the Bitterbynd Trilogy that have made me think about calling the better business bureau about because a plot is supposed to have a protagonist and an antagonist some conflict and a resolution. False advertising Ms. Dart-Thorton. False advertising!

5. Have you read “The Time Traveler’s Wife?”
Nope, and with such a ringing endorsement, how can I not? You wax eloquent about its merit so much in your question that I can't help be be compelled to read it.

6. What defines a good book for you? (Examples: Plot, characterization, beauty of language, subject matter, ease of "getting lost" in the story...)
It is a combination of plot, beauty of language, and characterization with the emphasis placed on beauty of language.

7. The Harry Potter books: pop culture fad, enduring literary works, or something in between?
I honestly think they are going to be something in between. I am not certain that they will have the timeless quality necessary for them to hold up as classics in perpetuity. There are some aspects of them that could work, but there are other parts that just will not survive without the fad.

8. What was your favorite book in school? Does it hold up today?
Book from school? I am a big fan of The Lord of the Flies… the book, not The Lord of the Flies himself. He is not so nice, but the book is wonderful. IT is chock full of symbolism.

9. How do you choose the next book you will read?
A combination of three things. Firstly, if it is an author I am familiar with, secondly if the cover catches my eye, and thirdly if the jacket text is not too blasé.

10. Do you consider yourself a good reader?
I consider myself an adequate reader, but I would not go so far as to say “good.”

11. What's you favorite genre of book?
Fantasy hands down. I love me some magic.

12. Who is your favorite author? and favorite classical author (if not the same)?
Currently I am loving Patrick Rothfuss cat*, but he only has his debut out at the moment. I will have to reserve judgment on if he holds up after book 2 comes out. If not him, I would have to fall back to… I have no idea. There are a bevy of authors that I will read, but none of them really jumps out as my favorite. As far as classical author? Hemmingway comes to mind because of his no nonsense prose.

13. How many books a week do you read?
1 tenth of a book unless you consider kids books and then it is over 12.

14. Do you think the youth of today will enjoy reading as much as their parents’ generation?
I think if there could be a few more authors to generate the kind of fervor that J.K. Rowlings did with the Harry Potter series, then, yes. Otherwise, it will be difficult.

15. Will books on the computer ever catch on enough to make bound books obsolete (or nearly so)?
I think there will always be a call for turning a page, so paper books will never completely go away. I could see books being printed on plastic paper in the near future though…

16. Most comfortable spot in the world for reading?
In bed

17. Series: book-by-book, or wait till they’re all in print to read?
Sometimes I like to wait for the entire series to be out and sometimes I like the anticipation associated with waiting for the next installment. That being said, I have also lost interest in a series as well. So, I guess the answer to your "either/or" question is "Yes."

18. One book you re-read regularly?
I can honestly say the only book I have ever completely re-read is The Lord of the Flies. I have attempted other books that I enjoyed, but I found that knowing how the story was going to unfold tainted my reading pleasure. I can however re-read comic books until the colors fade and words become illegible.

19. Reading in the “privy” – bad habit or “Man Haven”?
I am not a potty reader. I stay away from reading in the loo mainly due to my incredibly efficient excretory system. There is no reason for me to get to the end of the paragraph when the business is done.

20. Did you ever actually READ an article in Playboy?
Playboy has articles?


To recap:
Little Man is definitely sick
Not super sick, but sick nonetheless
I am going to try and export some work so I can do it at home
Yippee skippee
The only issue is that Little Man doesn’t like me working from home
He wants to play
Who doesn’t?
Wifey gets home tomorrow night
I might need to go into work when she gets home
That will be lovely
I am sure tomorrow’s post will be on the trials and tribulations of working from home
Ta Ta

20 Questions Tuesday: 61 - Writing 101

20 Questions Tuesday is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I know that I merely have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. It is a curse because I have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. I am somewhere in the middle group of blessing and curse hoping to hit prophecy!

Today’s topic is writing, and it looks like it will be next week’s topic as well. Thanks this week go to the droll musings of Dustin, the crisp witticisms of Lord Pithy (not yet a Duke I see), the obscurity known as ACW, and the melodious musings of Wifey. On to the questions!


1. Preferred writing utensil: a. Quill b. Ball Point Pen c. Fountain Pen d. Pencil e. Sharpie f. Crayon g. charcoal
I use a Pentel P207 .7mm mechanical pencil for most of my daily scribbling. I have also recently been enamored with a green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie.

2. Favorite writer when you were 18?
David Eddings, his stuff does not hold up well over time. It is fantasy cliché at its most basic. The writing is okay, but his stories are all pretty tired.

3. Greatest written document of all time?
Magna Carta
US Constitution
Hammurabi’s Code
The tales of Gilgamesh
Beowulf
My Birth Certificate

4. If someone gave you $10,000 and said you had to write a 100 page novella, what would it be about?
I would write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone…

5. If Little Man were to write an autobiography tomorrow, what would he title it?
The Life and Times of Hero and Leadner: A Epistemological Retrospective

6. When you have writer's block, how do you cure it?
Many times I call Wifey. Sometimes I try to write something else. A few times I write whatever comes to my head and then see where that goes. Rarely I just weep uncontrollably in the corner of a conference room.

7. When composing a letter bomb, what is the appropriate opening honorific?
“To whom it may concern…”

8. Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, or some other choice?
I used to prefer WordPerfect, but I have been forced to use Word so long that I have lost all familiarity with WP. That makes me sad.

9. What word-processing feature would you most like to be able to use in real life?
Crtl + Z

10. If you received a death threat, but it was written in Curlz, would you take it seriously?
More so than if it were in Times New Roman or Arial or Helvetica. Death threats sent in Curlz are clearly from someone who has had a break with reality, and felt they should personalize.

11. Why do your posts and emails contain spelling errors? Don't you have spell check on your machine?
Skrew yoo! Basically I don’t really care too much about the spelling issues. Soelling has never been a forte of mine and I am honestly too lazy to care about the spell check all the time. My biggest issue is that eye sometimes right in homophones, and homophones are knot caught bye the spell check feature in yore typical word processing programs.

12. What's up with Chaucer and why did he write so funny?
Sadly I think the prose of today is going to look as antiquated and laborious to future generations as Middle Englishe looks to us. Think about how truncated our words are compared to Chaucer’s. Now think about how this sentence looks compared to most text messages. Pretty soon, people will wonder why we wrote the way we do. kthxby

13. My friend's kid is in a school system that has gone paperless - to include homework and parent announcements. This can't be good, I believe there is an important lesson to be learned by taking pencil to paper and completing homework. Your thoughts?
There is definite merit to writing and not inputting things directly into a digital environment. I think that computers have too much ability to create shortcuts. Shortcuts are good once one has had a chance to understand the basics.

14. Is the haiku dead?
This poetic form
Made of five and seven sounds
Is alive and well

15. I heard once that a "writer cannot write." That if you can do anything else with your life, you clearly are not a writer because writer's are compelled to write at the expense of all other interests or abilities.

What do you think? Is this a truthful perspective or simply wisdom of a drunk?
Who the Hell are you talking to? I do think there is some truth to this. I think people who are compelled to write can avoid that call, but in general I think they know that nothing else can replace their need to write.

16. Do you think New Kid's on the Block (NKOTB) would have had a hit if it would have been titled, "The Write Stuff" vs. "The Right Stuff"? IMO, it might have launched a huge literacy campaign that would have changed the world as we know it.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
The Write Stuff!

You are clearly on to something. Whoops, mis-typed that. You are clearly on something. Damn prepositions!

17. What would you write about if no one you knew read your blog?
Who I hate, why I hate them, and what exactly makes them look funny

18. Who wrote the Bible? God? The church? Some guys who were recording hearsay and conjecture? Very talented monkeys? Please give your viewpoint.
A council of very talented monkeys, a monkey qabal, if you will. I could and probably should expound, but I shan’t.

19. Please write a haiku about your job.
Mapping can be fun
Information tells stories
Stagnation is bad

20. Right?
Write

To Recap
Nothing much to recap
I still need sleep
I miss mountain dew
Not to be confused with "I, Miss Mountain Dew"
The forthcoming autobiography from Miss Mountain Dew
Not much really to recap about
Databases are boring
Tedious and boring
Might be a Superfriends themed Digital Thursday
Any requests?

20 Questions Tuesday: 60 - Cards, the Deuce

Another 20 Questions Tuesday. This week is the second in a 2 part series concerning cards. Let’s just act like I have written three more sentences about cards and that they were wonderful and all. I did glom together a bunch of the questions that were similar. Thanks this week go to: Themikestand, Dustin, J.A.Coppinger, JW, Nadolny, Allrileyedup, and Tree Monkey.

On to the questions:

1. You have two minutes and fifty words to use the word "card" as many times as possible. Please use complete sentences and attempt to hold a plot and/or theme together. Go.
At first it wasn’t my turn to deal the cards, but then it was. I dealt one card, two cards, three cards, four cards, five cards, six cards, seven cards, eight cards, and nine cards. I lost count, so I had to shuffle the cards and deal the cards again.

No very compelling reading, but it fits the bill.

2. What sports cards, if any, did you collect as a child? What would your most valuable card be if you still had it today? Best baseball card you ever owned?
I collected Hockey cards as a little kid. Sadly, not of the NHL, but of the minor league players since the only team around us was the Birmingham Bulls from the CHL. I imagine many of those cards would be worth something due to the rarity, but not worth anything due to the obscurity. Never collected baseball cards.

3. On alcohol carding: When was the last time you were carded at a bar or liquor store? How old were you the last time you were “carded” at a bar? What are your feelings about the practice of certain stores/events carding everyone, explaining that they do it because they don't want to deal with the repurcussions if they make a mistake. Now I understand it ahs gotten bad and I'm not sure where you draw the line, but I can tell you when I see a 70 year-old blue haired grandma turned down for a beer at the local catholic festival, well, we have just gone way too far. When was the last time you were carded buying alcohol?
Hmmm, I would have to say I was 25, so that would be 8 years ago. I have no qualms about carding everyone. If the blue-haired spinster really needs some alcohol, she needs to bring her ID.

4. How many cardigans do you own? Do they make you feel like Mister Rogers when you wear them? Do you put your cardigan on and change your shoes when you come home like I do? Does that seem a little weird to you too?
I do not own a cardigan, but I never understood why Mr Rogers would hang his coat up, put on a sweater and change shoes only to change back 25 minutes later. He was an odd duck. He talked to a toy trolley for chrissakes!

5. Re Tarot Cards: I just did a "Three Fates" spread on this online tarot site: asking the following question: How will my career path turn out?" My result was as follows:
Past: Five of Wands.
Present: Knight of Wands.
Future: Wheel of Fortune reversed (not Wheel. Of. Fortune! unfortunately).
Basically, pointless struggles in the past, immense conflagration and a lust for change of pace and place (can you say disturbingly accurate?) in the present, and quoting for the future, "an inescapable descent due to Fate or Karma". So, looking good for me, eh? Now you go. Choose a question, report your results. Lather, rinse, repeat. (Could hairdressing be in your future?). Do you believe in fortunes told by Tarot Cards? Do you believe in Tarot Cards? Have you ever had a reading?
My Question: Will this blog make me famous?
Past: Eight of Cups (Indolence), when reversed: The realization that a matter thought to be important was actually of little consequence. Moving on from something in which you had invested great love and devotion. The start of an inner journey to find higher aspects of life. Reflection on what is truly fulfilling in life.
Present: Queen of Pentacles: The essence of earth behaving as water, such as a hot spring: A warm and generous host, providing shelter and comfort for all who would seek it. A person steadfast, practical, and domestic, able to create opulence and stability in any setting. The qualities of maturity and sensibility, coupled with an innate appreciation for nature and the material world.
Future: The Sun: A time of contentment and freedom from restraints. Creative inspiration. Achievement, success, and warmth. Light and love in personal or business matters. Happiness and faithfulness in a relationship.

So, at least I got that going for me. I think that some people can divine the future with and without Tarot, but most people making a living at it are charlatans. So, I somewhat believe in Tarot cards even though I have never had a proper reading.

6. Is it wrong to go “all-in” with a pair of 2’s while playing Texas Hold’em?
It depends on how many people are at the table and if they were pocket 2’s to begin with. If so, I would definitely stay at least to the Turn.

7. Does Little Man know any card games?
There is a, gasp, train board game that is played with cards that he plays over at Grandma D and Grandpa R’s.

8. Is your wife as big a card shark as mine? Why don’t I like blackjack?
My wife has the worst poker face in the world. She wears her heart on her sleeve in card games. You don't like blackjack because you wife is a card shark.

9. In Soccer you can get a yellow card. Are there other colors of card you can get (green…or maybe lavender perhaps?).
Only one that is left is the red. In fencing they have a black card as well.

10. How often do you use your library card?
Once.

11. Why is the act of cleaning up wool called carding?
The initial flat comb/brush that was used for this process was called a card for some reason. Other than that… I have no clue.

12. Re: Greeting Cards: Does it matter if you buy cards for your loved ones at Hallmark or k-mart? How many cards to you send out a year on average? (separate xmas cards from the rest) Hallmark, what a gimmick, I think they were founded by P. T. Barnum. Do you invest in their stock? Make up a greeting right now. Preferably one of those sappy ABAB rhyme scheme anniversary poem cards. Have you ever felt you could write better greeting cards than Hallmark? Or at least design better graphics for them?
Yes. 4 with 25 Christmas (I am guessing here, Wifey knows this stuff, not me). Somewhat gimmicky. No.

Who would have thought
That in 10 years
You could still be bought
Just with 12 beers
Happy 10th Anniversary!

Sometimes for both of the last questions

13. Do you keep all the cards Wifey gives you-dating back to the very beginning of your relationship? (I hope your answer doesn’t get you in trouble)
Nope.

14. If you caught someone cheating during a high stakes card game, and had carte blanche in terms of handling it, how would you most likely do so?
a. Blast him from under the table a la Cowboy/Han Solo-Greedo style
b. Give 'em an Apollo Creed beat down
c. Let them off with a stern warning
3 words: Han Shot First

15. The lovely wife asks "Why are there two Jokers in a deck of cards?"
No she doesn’t.

16. How many library, insurance, credit, bank, grocery, gas, and other cards are unnecessarily bulking up your wallet to the point of almost not fitting in your back pocket?
I count 11.

17. Do you give thank you cards for gifts if you say thank you when u get stuff? I keep seeing people do that and I think it is overboard.
I am not the person to ask about “Thank You Card” etiquette. I would never send them if it were not for Wifey’s insistence.

18. Ever play blackjack or poker in Vegas?
Sidenote: When I went to Vegas, I saw a sign at one of the casinos that said they understood gambling was a problem and therefore, they would not allow anyone to spend more than one million dollars. What the heck is the matter with these people?
I have never been to Vegas.

19. Did you have an emergency credit card in college, and if so, did you use it on pizza?
I sadly did not use it on Pizza, I geekily filled it up with text book purchases. College text books are a racket and a half!

20. Before Little Man, did you get together with your buddies on Friday night to play cards?
I don’t have any friends to play cards with and have never had “poker buddies.”


To recap:
Demo is starting on the sun porch today
Yippee?
My body is cursing the day I got my gym membership
In many different languages
I wish I could get some sleep
I am rather tired
More than that I am tired of looking at databases
Yeeee-uck
I am trying to get some stuff together for Digital Thursday
This process takes some effort.
I will give you this statement as a preview
Robot + Kitten = hilarity?

20 Questions Tuesday: 59 - Cards - the Ace

Here it is 20 Questions Tuesday again and all I could come up with for a topic is Cards. I am slipping to say the least. My slipping doesn’t matter when I have such fine questioneers stepping up and providing questions for me. Enough questions, in fact that the topic will be extended to next week as well.

Anyway, thanks this week go to Belsum, Bomber, Lsig, I C Yellow, Lord Pithy,

On to the questions:

1. Do you actually read birthday cards or just look to see if there’s money inside?
A little of column A and a little of column B. It depends on who the card is from. Some people I know give the absolute worst cards (my parents). For example, I recently got a Garfield birthday card. There is not much literary merit in reading a Garfield card. Luckily there was money in the card…

2. Do you save cards if someone wrote a message inside?
I don’t unless it is a prophesy that tells of a future wherein I, a simple farm boy from an unknown hamlet, become King due to vanquishing the existing evil overlord. All kept prophecies should be in the form of literary cliché.

3. When’s the last time you touched a real deck of cards and what did you play?
Probably about 1 year ago, and I played a few different types of solitaire.

4. Christmas cards: bane of your existence or fun way to keep in touch?
I find them more of a “I’m still alive” notice than a way to keep in touch. I think they are a nice thing because they let people know that even if you have not talked to them, you occasionally think about them.

5. Are you a card-carrying member of anything?
The Columbus Zoo, COSI, and My dental PPO

6. Fill in the blanks: It's just NOT in the cards for SRH to... It is IN the cards for SRH to...
a. …fly a Chinese Jet Fighter.
b. …start doing some freelance graphic design. Any takers? Anyone…?

7. What is your favorite card game?
On the PC, I would say Spider Solitaire. In the real world… umm… do constructible/collectible/pocket model card games count?

8. Can you imagine playing Spider Solitaire with actual cards? Would there be a point?
That thought keeps me awake at night. The tedium necessary to set up the game would not be worth the reward. Not to mention the lack of “ctrl+z” ability.

9. Christmas cards: nice tradition or bothersome chore?
A little of column A and a little of column B. Wifey always wants the cards to be better than the previous year’s cards, but she doesn’t have to make the cards.

10. What is the job title on your business cards (assuming you have them)?
Senior Cartographer / GIS Coordinator

That being said, I would kill someone and eat their spleen if I could get the title Señor Cartographer! Especially if there was an acoustic guitar flourish every time someone (even me) said my title.

Fun fact: Not only would I get the title, Señor Cartographer, I would also steal their soul.

11. Do you care enough to send the very best?
That all depends on the “to whom.”

12. Where can I buy me some "porno" cards for bowling?
I didn’t realize one could use “porno” cards to bowl. I always thought that bowling was done with a an orb manufactured from proactive urethane.

13. Alice in Wonderland: a mathematical parable by a literary genius, or a drug-induced dream by a person of questionable intentions toward children?
Honestly, Lewis Carroll was a literary genius. There are theories that point towards pedophilia. So in answer to your question, I would say that the 2 are not mutually exclusive categories and he most likely was both.

14. If your life were to be presented in a Hallmark Hall of Fame teleplay, who would play you, and what event in your life would be the subject of this touching dramatization?
The indelible Robby Benson (as stated by Wifey, her words not mine) and the movie would be about my overcoming my hatred for elliptical trainers.

15. In elementary school, which cartoon character Valentine's Day cards set did you buy?
Garfield. Hey, I had no taste as a kid.

16. If you've ever found yourself standing in the card aisle in the store, giggling, what do you think people think about you? (You may treat this as two unrelated questions, if you like.)
No, and for part 2… “What a handsome devil.”

17. Don't you hate people who fill a greeting card envelope with that crappy plastic confetti so that if spills all over the place when you open it?
Yes, yes I hate them. I hate them like no one has every hated anyone before. The hatred of the confetti card bastards knows no limits. It is a hatred that burns like cold fire. It is an all consuming loathing that keeps me awake at night screaming silently to the heavens about the injustice of the confetti’s mere existence. There is a special place in Hell where people who put that confetti in cards will remain for eternity… ummm… let’s go on to the next question shall we?

18. Why do some people insist on using the type of cards they do for their bowling?
I have been caught completely unawares of how many people actually use cards to bowl. I really thought it was done with a 8 to 16 pound bowling ball all this time. Now it turns out that bowling is done with a deck of 52 playing cards of questionable subject matter.

19. Give a short history on the use of yellow/red cards in soccer
Well, there is not much to tell. The yellow/red card phenomenon is not constrained just to soccer. It seems to hearken back a loooooong ways. Beyond my paltry abilities to find a suitable explanation from the Internet.

20. How did the spade receive its sinister reputation?
I was not aware that the spade had a sinister reputation. If anything should have the sinister reputation it should be the club… the club of baby seal fame!


To recap:
The parents are still coming to town on Friday
:-(
One of the projects I am working on seems to be blowing up quite explosively
Yeah, me!
The voting is still going for the Thursday Thang
Vote. It is you inalienable right!
You know what is sad?
The fact that :-) is older than some of my co-workers
That’s sad
I personally find the “-“ in “:-)” to be overkill
That is sad as well
Probably more sad when you think about it
So don’t think about it

20 Questions Tuesday: 58 - Little Man questions

Yesterday I decided that today’s 20 Questions were going to be given by none other than Little Man himself. So I took it upon myself to scribble down his questions as I remembered them and in some cases, as he asked them. This usually led to other questions, but that is no matter. Here are a smattering of the questions I received between the hours of 6:45 am and 8:30 am in no particular order.

On to the questions:

1. Why are you still sleeping?
Because it is 6:45 in the morning and I didn’t fall asleep until 2:30.

2. Can… can… can… I have some red juice?
No, you cannot have any red juice while you are in our bed. You have spilled your juice in Mama and Papa’s bed 3 times in the past 3 weeks. No more juice in bed for you.

3. Was I a singing kitty?
If one defines “kitty songs” as screeching and, well, caterwauling, then, yes, yes you were a singing kitty.

4. Hey… hey… hey… Where my cheese slices?
I am cutting them. Sheesh, gimme a second here, kiddo. Block faux cheese doesn’t slice itself.

5. Why don’t you play with me? (repeated 4 times rapidly before I could answer the first)
Because I am cutting up your frikkin’ cheese!

RE: The Marble Run (FYI: his doesn’t have the motorized elevator… yet)
6. Why there are 9 of them (marbles)?
Because you found 1 more than when you only had 8.

7. Is mine done?
Yes, you have used all of your marbles.

8. Why don’t you start yours?
I don’t want to lose my marbles.

9. Why you’re going to wait?
Because I am slowly losing my marbles.

10. Why don’t we build a new one?
By “we” you mean “Papa,” right?

11. Why new one not done yet?
Because God’s sense of humor has a bit of a bite to it.

RE: Train Table
13. Why… why… why… where is the spiral engine?
Have you tried looking in you train bucket? You haven’t even looked anywhere yet, have you? It is right next to your train table with the other engines.

14. Where is the box?
We had to put the box away (author’s note: the box was one of the Thomas recall items because of its red letters) because it could be bad for you

15. Where Norfolk Southern engine? (near tears)
Have you tried looking in you train bucket? You haven’t even looked anywhere yet, have you? It is right next to your train table with the other engines.

RE: Trains on DVD
16. Why that one going so slow?
I have no idea, I also don’t know why it is continuously blowing its horn. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop…

17. See that mean looking Conrail? Why does it look so mean?
I didn’t realize that that actual train engines could look “mean.” My Bad.

RE: Yo Gabba Gabba
18. Why Muno got one eye? Why that how he was born?
Muno was not born. Muno is a creation of some sick demented soul who happened to major in early childhood education. He has one eye because they need a character on the show with no depth perception. You know, they needed a clumsy foil.

19. Is his name Flex?
No, it is Plex. Flex customizes cars for the insanely wealthy.

20. What going on?
I have no effing clue…

To recap:
Sweet Jebus, Wifey, come home soon!
I sooo need to sleep
Badly
Little Man’s first day of preschool for the year was today
It was pretty “meh” on all accounts
I asked him, “Do you think you are going to like pre-school this year?”
He responded “Well, I don’t know. Looks like we will have to wait and see”
Guess who’s in the house?
Fluffy’s in the house!

I think it is supposed to rain

20 Questions Tuesday: 57 - the Weather part 2

Here we are finishing up our look into 20 Questions Tuesday’s weather edition. I hope all the US residents who read the blog enjoyed the Labor Day weekend. I know I did. Thanks this week go to Allrileyedup, the Em, Nadolny, JW, Peefer, Dr B-Dawg, and Wifey.

Without further ado, the questions!

1. Why do magic scenes in movies always show changes in the weather to emphasize the power of the magic being performed?
It serves to show people number 1: the magnitude of the power being unleashed and number 2: the lack of control of said power since it is unfocused and bleeding out to effect the surrounding meteorology.

2. Do you think the X-Men movies did a good job of showing off Storm's powers?
Not even remotely.

3. Would you ever participate in a tornado-chasing tour group?
When I was a recent college grad, most definitely! Sadly, I am pretty far removed from the natural hazards research that I focused on in college. I think I would be more of a fanboi hindrance than an encyclopedic help at the moment.

4. What's your favorite weather myth?
Groundhog’s Day is the biggest farce. What is it? If the groundhog sees its shadow there are 6 more weeks of winter and if it doesn’t there will only be 42 more days of winter? Something like that. By the way, to me, groundhog is sausage. Get it? Groundhog = ground hog = sausage! HA! I slay me

5. Where would you live in the world based solely on the weather and why?
Hmmm solely on the weather…. San Francisco, California. It has a Mediterranean climate that has been influenced by the cold deep water currents off the California coast. Too bad it is going to eventually fall into the sea and all…

6. Why do folks who hate the Ohio weather stay here. I mean, most of them could move (except for those with long established jobs, but then why didn’t they leave when they were younger).
I have found that people just enjoy bitching, and weather is something nice and out of their control that they feel they can legitimately bitch about without getting called to the carpet for their own behavior. I can’t bitch about how dirty the living room is because I don’t pick a damn thing up. I can however, gripe about how hot it is with impunity.

7. Doesn't it seem like kids today get school days off for weather that we would have easily trundled through as kids?
Kid’s today are coddled. Back in my day we had to stand outside in below freezing temperatures naked because all our clothes were wet from fording the river that separated our neighborhood from the local school. There we were naked shivering and getting ready to learn about readin’, writin’, and ‘rithmetic as Doberman pincers chased us so we would run barefoot over the freezing scree fields of volcanic obsidian that we had to eat for our school lunches.

8. Which is your favorite season?
Fall or "autumn" as the uppity folk call it

9. Why is it that weathermen can draw a pretty nifty salary from making (mostly wrong) guesses?
Very few weathermen actually generate their forecasts from scratch. Most of them (in the US) rely on the National Weather Service for most of their predictive data. As for salary, weathermen (in the true sense of the word, guys on TV explaining the weather) are pretty much few and far between. Their salary is based partially upon their relative celebrity.

10. Fall is swiftly approaching. Happy or sad?
Happy

11. What is the smallest atmospheric phenomena that can be called weather.
Microclimatology is a valid and thriving science. So I would say that the smallest atmospheric phenomena that could be considered weather could be as small as the temperature fluctuations one finds in a bank parking lot (for example).

12. What percentage of people regularly confuse climatic with climactic.
43%

13. Will New Orleans be adequately rebuilt before the next hurricane hits it? How about after?
Yes, it will, but the underlying issue will still be there. The problem with New Orleans is that there are significant portions of the city that are below sea level. When the levees go, those areas go underwater. Simple enough. If the next storm that hits the city damages the levee system in the city, the same issue is going to happen.

14. Does it make you sad when people resort to talking about the weather?
If not sad, then how does it make you feel?
What makes me sad is that conversations I have with my dad and conversations I have with my brother have boiled down to being solely about the weather. I love talking about the weather, but when it is all you have…

15. What is your favorite form of precipitation?
Snow

16. How well do you weather through storms?
Pretty well, my issue is that when the conditions get really strong, I am inordinately curious as to how it looks.

17. Ever seen something struck by lightning?
Yep, have you? It is very bright.

18. If you turned into a snowman, where would you live - North Pole or South Pole?
South Pole. No polar bears there, yet bunches of penguins.

19. Is there any kind of weather that makes you so scared you kind of want to pee your pants, but then you don’t ‘cause you’re the man of the family and you have to save face, but if you were alone, you’d pee?
Not that I can think of.

20. Those weird afternoon storms in Alabama in the summer – what’s that about?
The “pop-corn” showers that happen in Alabama typically have to do with the vast amounts of humidity that permeates the air in the early afternoon. The sun heats that stuff up, it condenses into clouds, pours for 15 to 20 minutes and then goes away leaving massive amounts of humidity and sun.

To recap:
I hate conference calls
Hate them with the fires of a thousand suns
A thousand I tell you
I hate even more when the participants of said conference call each individually call you before hand to discuss talking points
Lunch was too little
I am hungry already
That and my back is sore
Oh, and my shoulder is pretty achy too
I think I might be getting old
Thursday is a big big big big big big big day
I will talk about that tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 56 - The Weather part 1

So, I glibly asked people for questions about the weather because when you don’t have anything else to say, you start talking about the weather. So far I have gotten a glut of questions. This topic will definitely span 2 weeks. Today there will be a high of 91ºF (32.778º C) and sunny.

Thanks this week go to Bomber, WV Slim, Dustin, Lord Pithy, Lsig, Tree Monkey, and JA Coppinger.

On to the questions:
1. What was the weather like on the day you were married? on the day Little Man was born? (give the date, please)
Wedding - 09.06.97: The weather was typical for a fall day. It was partly cloudy in the morning with a hint of chill. I think it got into the upper 70’s that day. It was a gorgeous day.
Little Man birth - 07.25.03: Hot and sunny and wonderful

2. What weather disaster to you find most frightening?
Tornados. Tornadic activity is so sporadic and arbitrary. One house can be completely obliterated while the neighbor’s is untouched.

3. Why are weathermen so odd and unappealing, yet weatherwomen tend to be sorta hot? Why can't the female viewers (or gay men) get the joy of some eye candy while learning whether we need a sweater the next day?
The initial reasons have to do with the fact that most meteorologists in the beginning were men because women were discouraged from studying sciences. So the nerdy guys were the meteorologists and the women on TV were hot “weather readers.” Now people expect women on TV who deal with weather to be hot. Men? There has not been too much of a clamor for hotness. I think people looking towards beefcake don't generally look to the news

4. How can there be global warming if there is a huge hole in the ozone layer?
It is quite cold under the hole in the ozone layer. I always find it interesting that many of the arguments about global warming occur when it is coldest outside or about areas that are insanely cold. In college, the only article I ever saw about global warming in the student newspaper was printed when it was -14ºF (-25.55ºC). No one gave a crap about the negative effects of global warming when they couldn't feel their toes from frost bite.

5. Do you like Columbus' climate?
Pretty much

6. Waterspouts: “totally awesome” or “totally will ruin your day on the beach”?
Waterspouts are completely awesome. Awesome to the max!

7. What’s the biggest piece of hail you’ve ever had hit you?
Pea-sized. I was backpacking in New Mexico. Oh, I am urbane.

8. Do you find fog comforting?
I more find fog eerie and foreboding, especially at night.

9. On Gilligan's Island, why was it always a sunny bright day unless weather was needed as a plot point? I mean, it was never just a drizzly day in the background. What's up with that?
Well, the weather in the 3 hour tour radius from Hawai’i is very story driven. It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very complicated.

10. All of my knowledge of California weather comes from the Brady Bunch. It never rains in California. Why isn't California one big desert?
It has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.

11. If you were a weather pattern, what would you be?
Stationary Front…. uh... I’m gonna wait

12. How would you mess with the TV weatherman if you were an intern producer? (Not a producer of interns, but a producer serving his internship at a television station.)
Porn.

13. Growing up in Ohio, I always heard people complain about how you never knew what the weather was going to be from one day to the next, or even from the morning to the afternoon. I assumed that this was true everywhere, and that wherever anyone lived they would complain about the same thing. Having moved to a different state, I now know that, no, Ohio does actually have some pretty bi-polar weather patterns. Can you account for this?
Ohio is in an area where 3 different predominant weather systems collide. We get dry cold air from the north (Thanks Canada). We get hot wet air from the Gulf States. We get even more stuff coming in from the Mountain States to the west. Since all 3 of those meet in Ohio, Ohio’s weather is very volatile. It can change rather rapidly and pretty significantly.

14. What is the best weather-related song?
A) "It's raining men" by the Weather Girls
B) "Walking on sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves
C) "Here comes the rain again" by the Eurythmics
D) " Sunshine on my shoulder" by John Denver
E) Some other choice of your own (please state your selection)
I choose you, B! Katrina and the Waves’ “Walking on Sunshine” is absolutely contagious.

15. Do you think the “hot, humid, 100 degree” weather is done for the year? Even my cat has taken to jumping in the fridge, it’s been so darn warm!
August is not over just yet, so kitty-cicles might still be part of the freezer on your fridge.

16. Living in Alabama, have you ever experienced any “extreme” weather?
Remnants of Hurricanes. Tornadic stuff. Southern super cells, but I would not say that I have experienced weather to the X-TREME!

17. Snow: why is some of it wet and heavy, while other times it light and dry?
All about the relative humidity when the snow is formed. That and it has to do with the Gulf Stream. Very Complicated.

18. Ever stood outside in a violent storm just to say “Damn, that’s cool!”?
This past Saturday. (much to Wifey's chagrin)

19. Is a “dry heat” really any better than a humid heat?
Depends on what you are trying to cook. Steamed vegetables, I would suggest a rather humid heat. Dry heat is for pizza, baby!

20. What’s up with the weather people? Can’t they open up a window in the studio and see that their “current forecast” (oxymoron, BTW!) is just plain WRONG????
Most news studios don’t have windows. Some don’t have doors. They slide food through a slit in the wall and then get tasered back into their sleeping chambers.


To Recap:
Yes, I said "Awesome to the max!"
I am not sure if “taser” should be a verb
I amend that, it should most definitely be a verb
I also believe that donut should be a verb as well
And not necessarily in the driving in circles way
I mean the chucking a donut to a friend so that they can consume it greedily
Now that’s a verb!
Yo, G! Donut me!
You know what I’m saying
After 3 bad experiences giving blood I am about to do it again
I hope I don’t have to punch anyone this time
I hate punching blood letters
Blood letters are not like runes, they are people who draw blood
I know there is a more technical term for it
But "leech wrangler" sounds so Medieval
I need a nap

20 Questions Tuesday: 56 - the Present

There is no time like the present, mainly because the present is always fleeting. The last couple of 20 Questions Tuesday topics have been about the future and the past, so today’s is about the present.

Thanks this week go to Tree Monkey who is presently staring at some Autodesk software, Dustin who is presently confused by bumblebee flight, the Em who is presently contemplating the striping on tigers, themikestand who is presently discussing Keynesian economic theory and its impact on the price of halibut in P.E.I., Allrileyedup who is presently trying to find a recipe for cookies not involving wheat, milk, rice, corn, soy, dairy, or cat dander, and JW who is currently sweeping up the remnants of someone’s erstwhile coiffure.

On to the questions:

1. Presently, if you look back at how you thought your life would be 15 years ago now, are you right on track, have done more than you thought you would, or still have some catching up to do? In all aspects of your life, family, work, socially…. If you think about your present life, is this where you thought you'd be (with work, marriage, kids, etc.) at this age?
In some ways “no,” but in others “not applicable.” I think that 15 years ago when I was a rather naïve 18 year old, I would not have dreamt that my life would be where it is today. My 18 year old self had no real concept of what responsibilities and life were.

2. How are Little Man’s allergies and asthma?
They are doing pretty well right now. We are hoping that with the recent deluge that some of his environmental snottiness might be eleviated. Ragweed has been a bitch recently.

3. Explain to me how I can give someone a “present,” I can “present” myself to other people, and I can live in the “present.” I mean, talk about needing to nail down a definition. Why do the tense and the object-one-receives-as-a-gift (or the act of bestowing something on someone) share the same name? Is it because if someone asked you when you would like a gift, you'd almost always say "now!" ?
If I were a cultural anthropologist who specifically focused on linguistics and their subtle evolution, I might be able to answer your question. As it is though, I would be forced to answer, “I dunno.”

4. Do you ever dream about leaving the present?
I am constantly leaving the present behind in the past and moving towards the future.

5. How many pairs of shoes do you presently own?
6 that I wear regularly and 15 total that I can think of.

6. Will you ever give Little Man a digital video recorder and allow him to film things to his heart’s content then post said things to YouTube thereby creating the ultimate reality TV show, “Little Man for the Masses”…?
Nope. Little Man is a bit rough on electronics. There are other ways that I can flush money into a toilet.

7. There is no question seven presently
Good, I will skip it and go on

8. Which present-day ruler (of a country, not a 30cm measuring device) do you most closely associate with?
Helen Clark the PM of New Zealand. She seems to be the most realistic of country heads at the moment. She is rather down to earth. Since she is that down to earth there is a better chance of her willingness to associate with me. Most rulers are from a social strata that I am not privy to and therefore would not be willing to associate with me.

9. How would you explain to Little Man that "now" is only "now" for as long as it takes to say the word, after which it becomes "then"?
I think I would show him a Direchlet delta function and describe the partial differential equations that help to describe that system. There would be charts and graphs.

10. What are you thinking, right now?
You don’t really want to know

11. If you weren't blogging the answers to 20 Questions right now, what would you like to be doing?
Georeferencing rain gauge locations in Mali, Africa.

12. What is the worst birthday present you ever received?
A pink cassette holder. The cassette holder was pink. It wasn’t necessarily meant to hold only pink cassettes.

13. Do you enjoy reading books/stories that use the present tense?
Yes.

14. What is your opinion of the expensive gift baskets given to awards show presenters?
I find it very interesting that they give expensive presents to people who have more money than god. I hate them for it and their Gucci hand bags.

15. Have I missed any other versions of the word present?
Not that I can think of.

16. Is "pre-sent" a word, like I pre-sent my luggage to my destination via FedEx so that the airport wouldn't lose it, and then the FedEx train derailed, so I had to go without my favorite pair of pajamas that have purple dinosaurs wearing rollerblades?
Firstly, Judges?... The judges have ruled and yes "pre-sent" is now a word. Secondly I am alarmed that you have a universe of pajamas decorated with purple rollerblading dinosaurs such that you have had to choose a favorite.

17. Do you think our kids will look back on the present gas prices when they're our age, lamenting about how cheap it was in comparison to their gas prices?
I think the price of gas for our kids will eventually be less, because I do fervently believe that alternative power sources will be the predominant power plant for most engines sometime in our children’s lifetime (actually in the near future because oil production is peaking). With the decreased demand supply will go up and with increased supply prices will go down.

18. Why is the allure of time travel so much greater than just living and being content with the present?
Because time travel is cool and most likely involves some kind of sound/light effects that make the time traveler seem even cooler.

19. Given the present state of affairs, why are people still so willing to stand behind a political cabinet that clearly disregards their followers (and the rest of the country's) best interests?
People are sheep.

20. What would you like to be snacking on right at this very second? (Caloric amount be damned)
Vanilla Bean Cheesecake (although that ain’t snacking)

To Recap:
I have work I need to do
Mimma is heading out of town this weekend
Rain jackets for adults are not nearly as fun as rain jackets for kids
Mints make my breath minty
Free mints make my breath REALLY minty
Really, how did Rod Stewart become a sex symbol?
His hair is like someone bleached a skunk and taped it to his head
And the only reason the hair is there is to detract from the nose
Can someone help me on this one?

If you want my body
and you think I'm sexy
come on sugar let me know.
If you really need me
just reach out and touch me
come on honey tell me so

Yet another fourth birthday play date this weekend
Little Man got an “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” T-shirt
I-R-O-N-Y
You know what else is ironic?
No?
Well, if you figure something out – tell me.
I’m all into irony these days.

20 Questions Tuesday: 55 - the Past

I went with a new look today. Not sure how long it will stay, but for now, it is going to be the template. I know I need to do some minor edits to it, but spelling errors occur at 2 am, in fact they are almost mandatory.

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the past. Everyone (nearly) who sent in questions asked what my first memory is, so instead of answering this one in the questions, I will give that answer here, kind of as an up front bonus. Q: What is your first memory? A: Well, it is a tie between 2 memories (because I don’t know which one is older than the other since they were from about the same time. Memory the first is of a toy plane. It is a red plastic plane with a metal wheel axel and black plastic wheels and a blue plastic propeller. It wasn’t doing anything, just sitting there. I hear that it was my toy that went with me everywhere. Memory the second is of getting bit on the nose for going down a slide properly. Sure someone was climbing up the slide at the time, but it was my turn dammit! He bit my nose for sliding into him, the little prick.

Anyway… Thanks this week go to Lsig, Peefer, ACW, Allrileyedup, Dustin, and Wifey.

On to the questions:

1. Is there something you've learned from your own past that will help you NOT be doomed to repeat it?
Not that I can hink of.

2. What's your favorite "zoic" era?
Mesozoic, baby! It was the golden age of the ‘zoics.

3. Why do fashion styles from the past get recycled so quickly?
Because fashion is fickle and people have short memories.

4. Why is the present tense, the future imperative, but the past imperfect?
Because the most of the present is not progressive, we must look to the future together, and the past is never truly complete so it is always imperfect.

5. What are you most glad is part of the past?
High school. I hated that crap

6. Did the past really exist? or was it made up in the future (that future being our past - oh my brain hurts...)?
The past is always recorded in its future, so in many ways the answer to your above question is “Yes,” and “Yes”

7. Did you have to evacuate due to hurricanes while living in Alabama?
Nope, Birmingham is way too far north for hurricane evacuation being necessary. We did get pounded by the remnants of hurricanes though. I think a few times the system was still organized enough to be called a “tropical storm,” and more than a few “tropical depressions” moved through the neighborhood.

8. What was the worst natural disaster that you experienced?
I was in an area very close to where a tornado touched down. I did not see the tornado, so I can’t say that I really “experienced” a tornado.

9. Any regrets, so far?
None the I can hink of

10. What was the Boer War about anyway?
To boil it down to it’s simplest reason… Okay, the British annexed the bankrupt Dutch Transvaal colonies in what we now know as South Africa. In doing so the Boers (Dutch for farmer) were not happy with Imperial British control, so they revolted. The original Dutch colonists felt oppressed by the British Empire. This led to 2 wars which the British eventually won.

11. What is the difference between the past tense and past participle?
On is rigid and the other dangles?

12. What period of history sports the best advances in mathematical theory (I’m curious as to just how much you learned in that history of math class)?
Well, honestly the biggest explosion on mathematical ideation happened in 2 time periods.

The first was with the introduction of written language and number systems. People were able to really start better accounting and therefore math systems once they could start writing stuff down. For ease of historical record, we will attribute this explosion to the ancient Babylonians. They were the first major society to have a significant population of non labor scholars to investigate stuff.

The second is truly the modern era. I consider the modern era to be post 1908 publishing of Principia Mathematica by Bertrand Russell. By this time many different people were investigating the theory that mathematics rested upon. The number of people and their relative connectedness allowed collaborative discoveries and more continual discovery. It is a very fascinating time to be “into” math right now.

13. Have you ever heard people pronounce Pabst Blue Ribbon as Past Blue Ribbon, and if so, did you correct them?
I am from Alabama. I learned a long time ago not to correct any one’s pronunciation of alcoholic beverages. No good can come of that.

14. Is the space-time continuum as fragile as science would have us believe? I mean, like in the Simpsons episode where Homer travels back in time and keeps messing things up by infecting dinosaurs with the flu...that's just in he cartoons...right?
One can only hope, since I have been traveling into the past and messing with shit.

15. So when people say "your past catches up with you," does that mean all the ants I've ever fried with a magnifying glass are going to come back and kick my ass one of these days, or more like those breaking and entering charges on my record are really gonna hinder me in the WA gubernatorial race?
It is all about universal inescapable karma. Not instant karma, that is a different thing all together. Just so you though, Them is a documentary. Your ant killing days will come to haunt you.

16. If I traveled back to pre-historic times and became chieftain of my own cave-person tribe via my ability to "create" fire...would you come hang out with me? I'd let you ride my pterodactyl...
Pterodactyls are Mesozoic (mentioned earlier. Holla Holla, Dinosaurs in tha House! ) but tribal groups don’t show up until the late Paleolithic. Sadly, even if you did impress early man with fire, there would be no pterodactyl for you to ride. However one could ride an ostrich, and should. I am all about the riding of ostriches. It would be like playing Joust without the midi music

17. Since our great love would have been against the law in the past, who do you think you would have married? (Careful how you answer this one, I’ve seen this picture.)
If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right! Anyway, that lady means nothing to me... nothing. Plus I dont think she finds me all that partnerable.

18. Being that your job has never called upon your math degree, do you wish you had picked a different major in the past?
I cannot say that I have “never” had to use my math degree at my job. One time I did have to determine the Laplace transform function for the polynomial expression of our profits over time function (sadly it is asymptotic to zero), but I most likely should have done the Lagrange transformation. What was I thinking?

19. Little Man “past” gas on me hand this morning. He thought it was pretty funny. Your thoughts?
That is pretty funny

20. When iPod’s are passé, what genius invention will Apple develop to pick up the slack?
They are trying to make the iPhone the newest iPod, but I think there will be a bit of a resurgence of dedicated technology. Tech today seems to be heading toward the all-in-one devices, but until batteries get me reliable and longer lifed, people will start to migrate back towards independent devices. I don’t want to have my phone die while on a phone call with my boss because I had just been listening to Mahna Mahna.


To recap:
No, really, is there something you've learned from your own past that will help you NOT be doomed to repeat it?
Not that I can hink of
Damn! That’s one mistake that repeated itself
Ummm... repeatedly
Dr. B-Dawg just sent me some questions
I will answer them in this recap
Is there a deep connection as to why past, pasta, and paste look so close to each other, but are so disparate?
There is a loose association with the words. Paste is made with flour and water, while pasta is made from water, semolina (specific type of flour) and eggs. So I guess the past is just water
Did Scrooge get a little to dramatic about the ghosts of past, present and future?
He was pretty dramatic about the Ghost of Past and Present and rather indifferent about the ghosts of Past Progressive, Future Subjunctive, Present Conditional, and Past Perfect
Could your future you beat up a past you in a hand to hand battle. What about with non-projectile weapons? Weapons of their respective eras?
Well my future me (unless I get to the gym) will be a pasty out-of-shape middle aged at best white guy, while my past me will be a competitive fencer. My money is on the past me.
I should work out tonight
Maybe I will after dropping Little Man off at home
I want to give my future self a fighting chance against that arrogant fencing upstart

20 Questions Tuesday: 54 - The Future II

Here is the second installment of 20 Questions Tuesday concerning the future. I would say we were going “Back to the Furture,” but that would be hokey.

As I said previously (last week to be exact) I got an overwhelming response for this topic and therefore have had to thin the questions out mercilessly. This week thanks go to the Info Diva, Tree-Monkey, Dustin, Allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants (Shout out to the troops in the ‘Stan! Holla Holla), Wifey, and JW.

On to the questions:

1. Will libraries cease to exist in the future?
Nope, I think there will always be an intrinsic need for people to physically hold a book and turn a page. Plus Historic records need to be kept somewhere.

2. Global warming = extinct polar bears. Your thoughts.
I think it is a shame, because I have never met a polar bear I didn’t like. Then again, I have never met a polar bear.

3. What movie-based futurist society would you want to live in?
Hmmm… While all the peace and stuff would be a bit boring, I think I would have to go with the Terra from Star Trek. Gotta love amenities.

4. In what year do you think actual stores will be eliminated and everyone buys everything over the internet, including groceries?
Much like I do not think that libraries will be eliminated, I do not think that stores will be gone either. I think stores and retail will start to be more destinations than merely chores though. Grocery stores will eventually need to start competing with more than just pricing.

5. When do you feel that offices will no longer exist and everyone will telecommute? I for one can’t wait until this day.
I think there is an absolute necessity for people to interact in person, so I do not see offices becoming a thing of the past. I do, however, see the work week becoming more fluid with the advent of telecommuting (which I think is a bad thing). By forcing people to come into an office, employers also tend to force themselves to minimize the amount of work done outside of that work week. Take away the barrier of being at the office, and you run the risk of removing the barrier that keeps most people not working when they are not in the office. Telecommuting is a double edged sword to say the least, especially in this results driven society.

6. Do you feel that “snail mail” will ever be eliminated? What will all the post men do?
Someone will need to deliver me the stuff I bought at Amazon.

7. Will the Portland Trail Blazers ever stop being the laughing stock of the NBA?
Only when the league expands with the new franchise the Louisville Laughing Stocks, but why would they choose that name? WHY?!?!?!

8. In the future, will I be able to Google search my dreams?
You already can, you already can.

9. Will Yetis and Hippos ever crossbreed making Yeppos or Hiptis?
If there is a God in heaven I hope the answer is a resounding, “NO!”

10. Do you believe that there are people who can accurately predict the future, like Nostradamus?
Short answer: Yes
Long Answer: I think that time, much like length and width can double back on itself and does not necessarily propogate linearly nor is this perception of propogation the same for each individual observer. Therefore I think that there arte people who are attuned to the moments in the time stream where time loops back on itself. If you read the quatrains that Nostradamus wrote (and I do not recommend that), it really is as if the future he could see was through watching the history channel on someone’s TV in the future. He doesn’t understand what he is seeing, and he is merely recounting the timeline that he saw on a best of History Channel show.

11. Which animal species do you expect will be the next to die out in the near future (say, under ten years)?
The hippo. I haven’t forgotten hippos. I have not forgotten at all.

12. Would you fly into outer space should the option become affordable to the every day layperson in the future?
If it were insanely affordable and as commonplace as air travel is today, sure, why not?

13. So accordind to Timbuk3 we should all be wearing shades by now. Were they viewing an even more distant future or where they Charlatans of the worst kind!
Charlatans, the lot of ‘em! Charlatans of the worst kind!

14. So which will destroy the earth/humanity? a) meteor b) nanotech c) apathy d) Supernova e) Won't be destroyed but humanity will be done in by one of the following way e1) AI type super robots e2) Space faring Neanderthals when they come back for their planet after deciding earth is as good as it gets. e3) Super virus e4) Zerg
Well, as stated in last weeks episode, the sun will eventually take us down, but that is not for many eons, so I suspect that you are more referring to humanity. A combination of B and C, favoring C.

15. Which movie template is closest to the totalitarian regime that will eventually take over the world and then the universe? 1) "Stargate (Movie)" type Totalitarian regime 2) "Star Wars" The Empire 3) The Borg from "Star Trek" 4) Ming the Merciless type monarchy 5) The Totalitarian regime in Serenity 6) Space Balls from Space Balls
6. One would be surprised how often ineptitude rises to the top...

16. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? ........the future's not ours to see.
I will go out on a limb on this one. No and maybe.

17. My question refers to Futurama – what’s up with that show? Why did it never take off? It seems twisted but accessible enough? Please explain.
When Matt Groening made Futurama, the first season was all about character building and set-up. He lost most of the viewership by not locking them in at the beginning. The later seasons are flipping hilarious. I think people forget just how bad the Simpsons were when they started out on The Tracy Ullman Show. The animation was weak and the vignette stories really sucked, but they weren’t a happy go lucky cartoon family and that is why they worked. Furtrama needed 3 unencumbered seasons to try and make it, but by season 3 the viewers had left and FOX started the process of slowly killing it. Seeing how popular the show is on TNT and the Cartoon Network and whatever other cable channels it graces, I think FOX is now ruing the day. Ruing I say!

18. What will we be wearing in the future-say, 20 years from now? (Hopefully the cool silvery metallic shiny stuff they wore in sci-fi "b" movies... Or do you think it would be ok to wear it now?)
Even in the future, I think it will take a brave sole to put on the silvered spandex.

19. What will future archeaologists make of the world we live in today?
That most of humanity were unaware of how much they actually consumed.

20. When in the future will "Captain America" (U.S. Agent is my guess as to who bought it) return to us from the "dead"????
If/when Capt America comes back from the dead, it will be Steve Rogers coming back from the dead and not a revelation that it was US Agent who bought it. But Marvel has some time, they want to see where this story line takes them though. I am surprised that it has taken this long to kill Cap for a second time. When he comes back, bet you he will be much grittier.


To Recap:
When your boss’s boss strikes up a conversation whilst at the urinals, you are pretty much obliged to chit chat
Uncomfortably chit chat
At least she announced her hiatus… I’m looking at you Dustin!
Heat advisory today – heat index of 104°F
That’s 40°C for you metricists out there and 313.15K for you physicists
Wish I’d have known that before I went to exercise last night
It was not pretty
And by not pretty, I mean sweaty, stinky, and red-faced
And by it, I mean me
I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty when I got winded getting dressed to go work out
I was right
Not pretty at all
Little Man loves Men at Work
Unfortunately, he really enjoys their B-sides
REALLY enjoys their B-sides
And their live stuff

20 Questions Tuesday: 53 - the Future I

Okay today’s topic must have struck a nerve with the questioneers from whom I request questions. I have gotten close to 70 questions for today’s post. Therefore I have decided in my infinite wisdom to spread this topic over 2 weeks and whittle the number of questions down to 40. So there will be close to 30 questions on the cutting room floor. Deal with it people. No one wants 4 weeks of a single topic. Especially me.

Thanks this week go to: Bomber, WV Slim, Lord Pithy, ACW, Lsig, Belsum, and TheMikeStand. On to the questions!


1. What will Little Man be when he grows up?
Taller

2. Where will you and Wifey choose to live in your retirement years?
Not sure, they seem so very far away, unless we win the lottery that we are not playing

3. Will I ever lose these damn last 9 pounds?? I need to fit into my skinny pants! (name withheld, please!)
Not the last 9 pounds, for then you would weigh nothing and not exist. Maybe you should aim at loosing the first 9 pounds.

4. Will we all eventually all be one color?
If “decayed” is a color, then eventually, yes.

5. How is the world going to end? Do you believe THE END IS NEAR?
In a scorching calamity as Sol, our closest star and nurturer of life goes super nova eventually enveloping the Earth into its fiery embrace. If you consider billions of years "near" then yes.

6. 20 years from now when the world's oil supplies have finally dwindled to nothing; if kittens are found to be a viable, renewable fuel source, would PETA protest, and would anyone care?
It is a resource that is not very reliable in it’s renewability, so I think we would have to find an alternative. Sadly the alternative would most likely be minks or baby seals and we will be fresh out of those by 2020.

7. What do you see as the biggest obstacle to a self-sufficient Mars base (for humans)? Solve it
Gamma radiation during the interstellar transit would be the biggest issue. Everyone would be rendered impotent as they traveled from the Earth to Mars. Without an ability to pro-create the Earthlings on Mars would go the way of the Shakers. They would make great furniture and die out since they will not procreate.

8. How long after the approval of gay marriages do we have to wait before the concept of group marriages are provided for in the US legal system?
Hmmmm… 25 years, to the date. It will be like an anniversary law.

9. Are we headed towards a future race of large thumbs, bald, pale, overweight techno geeks?
Heading towards?

10. Will supersonic travel become affordable to the point of changing our commuting patterns?
Fuel costs will still make it cost prohibitive compared to telecommuting.

11. Will the aluminum can evolve into a curved profile or just stay straight?
I do think there will eventually be some form of “ergo-can”

12. Will anything from Back to the Future 2 become reality… self-adjusting shoes, precise weather prediction, flying cars, Mr Fusion etc?
Precise weather prediction and the hover board.

13. How will people remember the first decade of the 21st century?
Fondly

14. Which version of the future of mankind seems more likely, "Star Trek" or "Soylent Green"?
Soylent Green, people are really a bunch of jerks.

15. If in the future we all have sassy robot maids and talking dogs like The Jetsons, do you really want to live that long?
Yeah, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t like talking dogs or sassy robot mades, however, useless discs fitted to my clothing could potentially offset the annoying anthropomorphistic canines and belligerent robots.

16. What are you having for dinner tonight?
Stuffed Mushrooms

17. Really, seriously, where are the flying cars? And the household robots? And the circular space stations? And the Dick Tracy watches? OK, we’re getting close to the Dick Tracy watches with cell phones. Will the modern cell phone/camera/television/internet portal/calculator ever become strapped to our wrists? Or will it turn into a tri-corder instead?
The future of the 50’s is most likely not in the cards. While some of that stuff would be nice, I really don’t see it happening soon.

The flying cars will be limited by the driving abilities of the general populace. If not heavily regulated they will not happen.

Household robots in the humanoid state probably will not happen, but automated processing in the home might.

Circular space stations? Too cost prohibitive

Dick Tracy watches? More likely tri-corders, a la the iPhone.

18. If you could see into the future, but had to choose between knowing what will happen a year from now, or ten minutes from now, which would you choose?
10 minutes, I would forget within a year’s time. I might be able to hold onto 10 minutes.

19. What are the chances that Apple and Microsoft will one day merge?
They are already starting to. All recent Apple OS’s can run most Windows softwares, and the most recent iMacs have Intel chipsets and non-Apple motherboards.

20. What is the future of blogging? Will blogs replace mainstream news media, or will it fall into ridiculed oblivion like so many other self-publishing avenues?
I think this medium will stay for a while, but evolve into vlogging and whatever the next step is. People will be appalled by the old schoolers still typing out posts.

To recap:
The future is interesting to most
I need sleep
Little Man’s picture blog is up and running
Almost typed “ruining”
I think both are appropriate
I need to take some dirty dishes home
Badly
I think one container is fuzzy
And not in that good, fuzzy logic kind of fuzzy either
Parents just got back from an Alaskan cruise
Dad was all excited because he saw an iceberg calving
He is a big old dork too
They didn’t seen any yetis – that I know of
My mom is, understandably, pretty low key about yeti sightings
She’s on the down low, so to speak

20 Questions Tuesday: 52 - One year Later

This is the first annual anniversary of the weekly 20 Questions Tuesday portion of my blog. That’s right, 52 weeks ago I started this weekly featurette, and I think it has gone pretty well. So today’s topic is kind of a meta topic. Today’s topic is 20 Questions Tuesday. Recursive, isn’t it?

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Belsum, the Em, JA Coppinger, Information Diva, Capt. McArmypants, Tree Monkey, Bomber, Wifey, Sassyfrass, Kim, and Dr B-Dawg.

On to the questions:

1. How many questions do you usually receive for a given 20 Questions Tuesday?
Usually right around 20. Sometimes I get 22, sometimes I get 18

2. What has been your favorite 20 Questions Tuesday topic thus far? What is your favorite 20 question theme from the last 52 weeks? What was your favorite 20 questions subject? Why?
Here is a list:
12 and 13 – Breakfast Cereal
I really like breakfast cereals and have a truly amazing amount of completely useless knowledge about cereals at my beck and call
16 – Wifey
This one was just fun to do
There are other ones that I like as well, but those 3 really stick out in my mind

3. Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Yes, it is either an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral

4. Bigger than a breadbox?
Yes

5. Why is it that everyone assumes a girl knows nothing about anything mechanical?
How old is the girl in question? I mean, if it is a 4 year old girl, I am not going to assume she knows anything about anything other than Dora’s hat size (if she can count that high. Have you seen the size of that cartoon character’s melon? Gigundous!)

6. Why Tuesday and why twenty? Why not the Wednesday six, or Friday eleven? Why is it 20 questions? Why not 14? or 22? Notice, I too, like even (not odd) numbers. Why twenty questions? That is such a clean round number. Is there any significance to it?
There is an immediate reaction to the phrase 20 Questions. Since there is a game of that name, it just seemed to make sense. Post size wise and time/effort wise 10 would have been a better idea.

7. Who was the best FRPG (Fantasy Role Playing Game) character you ever ran and why?
2 that I would have to choose between. Number 1, a Shadowrun elf gun-bunny named Shnüggy-Whompah, deadly, but no npc ever took him seriously because of the name. I ran him for 3 years in a home campaign during college. Number 2, a Masque of the Red Death soldier named Sgt Mjr Sean MacKintosh. I ran him for about 4 to 5 years in one of the RPGA’s “living” campaigns. That campaign ended and now I am creating a char for the Fellowship of the White Star campaign that is just ramping up. (I did the cover art and some of the interior art as well, BTW)

8. “Global Warming,” how much of that is crap?
I would say that about 20% of it is crap. The other 80%? Spot on

9. “Global War on Terrorism,” how much of that is crap?
This is more of a 90/10 , where the 90% signifies the crap.

10. “Wobal Glar,” how much of that is crap?
The first 2 words

11. What are you getting your blog since it’s the year anniversary of 20 Questions? Is it time to redesign the interface? I see Wifey redesigned hers, are you going to step up to the plate and make yours more visually appealing too?
It is definitely time to redesign, I have some ideas mulling about in my head. I think I am going to try and implement them soonish. Let's be clear, I redesigned Wifey’s blog, thank you very much.

12. Have you ever had a negative reaction to a question you are asked? (Shock, dismay, what the ??)
I have only caused controversy with other posts. I don’t think I have greatly offended with answers to a question.

13. Have you ever had to edit out a question because it was too raunchy or controversial?
You have no idea. The people I ask for questions are gutter dwelling porn fiends.

14. What do you know today that you wish you had known last year on July 24, 2006?
Sports scores that I could have bet on.

15. Is there any significance to doing the 20 Questions on Tuesdays?
Not really, I thought it would be a nice break in my 4 days of posting.

16. Now that you are a published artist (if you weren't before), do you have any plans on how to spend the accolades you will receive from your fame? Will you become difficult to deal with in regards to the paparazzi?
Sadly, I am an unpaid published artist, so the paparazzi haven’t really been swarming me as I get in my car.

17. Speaking of the Paparazzi, and yes we are speaking of them, do you feel that stars are justified in hating their guts or do you think the stars should deal with the attention as part of their getting rich off the fans?
I think stars should expect a certain amount of unwanted publicity, but I do think that the paparazzi regularly invades their private space

18. Speaking of fans, and yes we are speaking of fans, not star fans but air moving fans, how many do you have? We have one that works, and 3 ancient looking ones that a kid could loose a hand in (they are out of "reach") that she uses as decoration. Isn't it weird to decorate with fans?
3 ceiling fans, 3 oscillating fans (one is in bad shape), 2 floor fans. If your wife were not associated heavily with a restaurant chain that typically decorates with 40’s and 50’s items, I would find it a bit odd.

19. If the internet did not exist, what would you doing in this spare time?
Not this

20. Since the past year marked the fashionable end of reading, will the blog eventually evolve into a video blog?
There will be no vlogging here. I would not subject anyone to a audi blog or video blog of my inane prattle

To recap:
Page 251 of HP VII
I had to send out a second request for questions today
Only had to do that 2 other times
Would make sense that it occurred on the anniversary
I have 3 things to do today at work
I am avoiding all 3 very actively
Tomorrow is the actual birthday for Little Man, so I have to make another cake tonight
This will be the 3rd cake in 4 days
Everyone is insisting upon a cake
A new cake that hasn’t been gnawed on
Little Man gets the hairs cut this evening
He will look soooooo cute
Have a great day everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 51 - Jobs and/or Employment

Since yesterday’s post was abjectly not about work, I have determined that today’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about Jobs and/or Employment. Thanks this week go to Lsig (technical and marketing writer), Dustin (chump, professional chump), Themikestand (G-man [economist]), Allrileyedup (at home mother slash writer [does that mean you write “slash fiction?}], and Peefer (an M.E. if I remember correctly).

On to the questions:

1. Your least favorite job?
One summer I had some contract work where I placed thermocouples in test sights for a Georgia Electric power plant in Rome, Georgia efficiency test. There were room I was in that were around 139° F (59.45° C) yeee-uck

2. At a job interview, I was once asked what the most horrible job I could image would be. How would you answer that? (Mine was wrangling free-range chickens. I went for the comedy).
At a job interview? That is a tough one. My natural inclination is to go with “Assistant Crack Ho.” Then you aren’t even a crack ho yet.

3. Would you rather have a boring job with people you like, or an interesting, challenging job with people you tolerate?
Either would be better than what I m doing right now… Oh, I forgot many a colleague of mine read this. What I meant to say was that I already have a challenging job where I am surrounded by extremely interesting co-workers.

4. What makes for a good boss?
When they give good raises.

5. Is it true that you can do any job (no matter horrible) for a month?
No

6. Honestly, does what kind of paper you print your resume on really make that big a difference?
In today’s electronic age, I am not entirely sure if paper is really all that necessary.

7. What kind of job/career do you think that Little Man will grow up to have?
Hmmmm… a well paying one, dammit! I want him to buy me a life of luxury.

8. Are there people who get paid to surf the net all day?
Yep, they are not paid much though

9. When you were 12, what was your dream job? C'mon, really. It was working in a record store, wasn't it?
At 12? Comic Book Artist!
Dr Doom!

10. Crystal ball, here. What will your last job (i.e. if you're semi-retired) be?
Bank heist, I swear it will be he last one! I am going straight after this job.

11. Hypothetical question: You're running a business which fabricates those little metal eyelets that get put on shoes through which shoelaces pass. What is your business called?
Hyothetical answer: Eyes Without a Face.

12. Since you mentioned it, what is the difference between jobs and employment?
There are many jobs that people have even if they are not employed. Employment typically is remunerated with some sort of monetary amount.

13. Is micromanagement ever necessary?
In some instances it is. When an employee has tons of potential but very little follow through. It might be necessary to step on their neck until they learn how to do it themselves.

14. Do you agree or disagree with the statement that teachers are not paid enough? How about athletes being paid too much?
Sadly, I think that the market forces are paying what the market will bear. The issue with teacher salaries as well as social work salaries a well as most non-profit salaries is that the people doing those jobs are doing it because that is the job they would be doing no matter what. That is why society can get away with paying them shit. I teacher were paid as much as medical doctors there would be a glut of teachers that want a paycheck instead of teaching. People and sponsors shell out the money for athletes. If people think they should not make so much, they should stop supporting them.

15. If you were a Jedi, what would be your position/duties (eg: Wookie Liason)?
If there were 2 schools of Jedi-dom (The Jedi School of Kicking-Ass and The School of Taking Names) I would want to be a part of the ass kickers, but sadly I would be part of the name takers.

16. Have you ever had a crush on and/or dated a co-worker? If so, did it affect your work?
Nope.

17. What is the laziest, least-disciplined, most unproductive work day
you have ever experienced?
15 May 2006.

18. In Venn diagram speak, does your set of work friends and your set of real friends intersect? ("Real friends" being those with whom you might watch a movie or TV until 1am. Or fart in front of.)

19. Total mg of caffeine per day?
Next QUESTION! I SAID NEXT QUESTION!!!

20. Have you ever photocopied your bum?
Nope

To Recap:
I am tired
Everyone in the family has a cold
So so tired
Tomorrow I will post on something inane
I promise
Inanity
Silver shoes must be worn with socks
Summer TV really sucks
I mean really