3 things

Three quick things to discuss today.

Thing the First:
Q is hard to try and keep sleeping at night. Looks like she has a mild cas of the constipation and that is making it a bit difficult to keep her asleep. She tends to wake up very 2 hours in screaming and trying to crawl out of her skin in a clear amount of pain/discomfort. I am amazed at how much conversation revolves around poop for parents of very young children.

Thing the Second:
Little Man is testing boundaries. Wow, is he testing.

Thing the Third:
Got a call back for a "part-time, ad hoc, as needed" position. How about those qualifiers?

To recap:
It is late, but still Monday, so quit your whining
A good weekend marred by fevers and lack of pooping sleep
Reading Blood Ties by Pamela Freeman
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
Q is stirring again
Gotta go...
Listening to the baby monitor

Belated, but only a little bit

I am usually the last person awake in the happy SRH household. Little Man and Q both go down around 8 or 8:30 and Wifey follows around 10 or 11. So I figured that I would get to this post on the 7th instead of after midnight on the morning of the 8th.

Little Man had a rougher than usual night getting to sleep at a late late 9:30. He has a bit of an asthma flare up going on. He seems to get one around this time or a few week later than this every year. It will pass, but there will be much coughing before all is said and done.

I have gotten Q to sleep three times this evening and Wifey has gotten her to sleep once. Q is taking up most of the night tonight and I am rather tired of rocking the little girl, even though she is amazingly cute.

Since it is still the 7th at least in Central, Mountain and Pacific Time Zones I am counting it as still being the 7th.

Happy birthday, Wifey. I had a wonderful day with you today at the BMV renewing your tags, at the grocery store getting your birthday meal ingredients (NY Strip, Baked Potato, and Broccoli, for those of you keeping score). I enjoyed chatting with you all day long and loved the I've-Got-to-Walk-This-Steak-Off stroll that we took after the meal.

I love you and am proud to be married to you, so Happy Birthday to you, albeit a bit belated due to family circumstances. Even as I type I am doing so with an annoyingly awake Q on my lap. Darn babies.

To recap:
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart
That has a different meaning if you accidentally misspell "Sweetheart"
Happy Birthday, Sweatheart
See?
Baby not asleep
And potentially pooping while sitting on my lap
Thank you diapers for your poop-catching majesty
Boy in asthma flare up
I need to give him a breathing treatment in a few minutes
Not sure how to do that with Q awake and slowly defecating
I was going to digitally alter a pic of Wifey all artistic-like but I can't do that with a baby on my lap
So no "Digital Thursday" this week
Listening to The White Stripes Seven Nation Army
Have a great weekend all

Enmity

It seems my enemies have abandoned me. The yeti no longer lurks about with messages of hate and misunderstanding, and the hippo is a simple beast that is easily lured to its demise with the promise of crystal meth and heroine. In many ways these threads of hate and antagonism are either dead or dying, and that makes me sad.

It is difficult to be caustic and vitriolic without something to causticize or vitriate. I am a bitter person with no appreciable target to vent his bile. That is either a very good thing or the thing that will bring about the destruction of society. There is no middle ground, therefore in order to potentially save society as we know it, I need to find a number 1 object of my loathing.

The issue is that I do have some stringent criteria for such a high state of my detestation.

Criterion the first: The object must not be something from my daily life. If the object of my greatest animosity should not be something I run across everyday, lest I be immobilized with my fervent hate at any and all hours of the day.

Criterion the second: The object of my blackest of murderous emotions (I have a range of murderous emotions) must “earn” my deepest revulsion. The yeti earned my gall by its very existence, but it seems that my last entreaty to him has caused him to go “underground” and search his feelings. Then Yeti was supplanted by the hippo due to its lack of natural predator and the overconfidence that instilled in the water horse. Now it is time for the Hippo, loathsome as it is, to take the passenger seat in the custom van of all I hate, while the Yeti gets relegated to a captain’s chair that can swivel. The problem is that I don’t know who/what should be worthy of driving the Custom Van of All I Hate.

(note: this is an example of a custom van, this is not the Custom Van of All I Hate, there are no pictures of that… it ruins negatives and erases digital media)

So, while I quest for new gainful employment, I also will be looking with my trained eye for something to abhor. You have all been warned.

To recap:
I am open to suggestions
Hateful, hateful suggestions
This stupid weather hurts my head
I have taken measures to combat that
Motrin, Sudafed, and Mt Dew
The medicine of champions
BBQ pulled pork for dinner
Not sure what the sides will be, or if it will be ready before Wifey and I go to a meeting tonight
So I will edit
Maybe BBQ pulled pork for dinner tonight
Listening to Welcome Back Father by Earl Greyhound
Beyond here… there be dragons

20 Questions Tuesday: 135 - Mother's Day

In honor of the impending Mother’s Day (even though the day started out as a protest by mothers concerning sending their sons to war) today’s 20 question topic is Mother’s Day.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Nadolny, Capt McArmypants, ACW, The MikeStand, and Riley.

On to the Questions:
1. Do you believe in maternal instincts? Some women with children seem to lack them entirely.
I do believe in maternal instinct insofar as generally when one has a child one wants to keep the little one safe and nurture the little one as best they can. There are 2 caveats to that last statement the “generally” and the “as best as they can” pieces. That leaves a whole bunch of room for bad things to happen.

2. Do you think there is any advantage to overcoming a bad mother rather than having had a good one?
I think both scenarios prepare you for life differently. I cannot say which is better and which is worse. Plus, if a “bad mother” prepares you better doesn’t that indicate good parenting, and if a “good mother” doesn’t prepare you, doesn’t that mean they were ultimately bad at mothering?

3. Do you get Wifey Mother's Day gifts? Are they from you, or "from" the kids?
I get Wifey Mother’s Day gifts and they come from all of us. This is not/will not always be the case, but whilst I am not gainfully employed, group gifts it is.

4. I would argue that in our present culture, being a mother is far harder than being a father. Agree or disagree?
I think the onus is primarily on the mother because if she is a “stay-at-home” mom, the majority of the parenting is her job. This allows the father to not be as present (not saying that there aren’t very present fathers with stay-at-home moms, just that the opportunity presents itself). If she is working, there is the dichotomy of not feeling like she is giving either her family or her career the attention she feels they deserve. Whereas if a working father pays any attention to his kids, he is considered going above and beyond. So, in short, I agree.

5. Do we owe our mothers (and father for that matter) for bringing us into the world and raising us, or was it their decision to do so and thus they owe us?
I think each individual needs to determine how much they “owe” their parents.

6. When they get old and feeble, is it only proper that we take care of them like they did for us as babes, or should that depend on what kind of people they were raising us?
Again, I think each individual needs to determine how much they “owe” their parents.

7. Best mom memory.
My mom made cakes as a side business for all of my childhood. I used to love baking and decorating cakes with her. I also got to eat shit tons of frosting. It has kind of dulled my sweet receptors.

8. Why is the M-Fer (PG13 compliance noted) term offensive? From a literal standpint, it isn’t really an insult. How did this term come about?
I think the insult is to insinuate that one F’s one’s own M, and therefore has kind of a Freudian connotation to it as well as the stigma associated with incestuous relationships.

9. Don't you think that whole Wisdom of Solomon thing is totally over
played. I mean do you actually have to be the mother of a child not
to want it cut in half?
I guess back then, if it wasn’t yours biologically, half would do.

10. Which personality trait inherited from your mother annoys you the most?
Sometimes, I tap my steering wheel just like her…. //shudder.

11. Which personality trait inherited from your mother are you grateful for?
I think I am grateful that I have inherited her sense of righteous indignation even when I have no reason to be righteously indignant.

12. Do you use Mother’s for your car care products?
I use no car care products.

13. Do they ever get over the fact you’re not 6 years old anymore? Should they?
I have a hard time thinking of Little Man as being almost 6, I would imagine it will be difficult to think of our kids as anything but our babies.

14. Why do we always have a person we consider ‘our mom away from home’ even though she never gave birth to us?
Because good parents are good parents whether you are their kid or not.

15. Who's the best TV mother of all time and why? Any TV mom you wished was your mom when you were growing up?
Hmmm... I found/find most TV mothers annoying because most TV mothers only have to deal with contrived situations, so to not answer your question, no one particular TV Mom jumps out at me as the "best" or that I would rather have parented me.

16. Have you, now that your wife is a mom, tapered off in giving things to your OWN mother for Mothers Day?
My family has been notoriously cheap from the start, so Mother’s Day never really amounted to much loot for either of my parents on their respective holidays.

17. How come Mothers Day is all about sending Moms off to do things without their children around, and Fathers day is all about Dads spending time with their kids? Doesn't that result in mostly the same activities, only with more neckties in attendance?
See answer to question 4.

18. What is the best (or worst) mother's day gift you ever made when you were in grade school?
I would have to say they were all crap. Especially with the dearth of supplies available when I was in elementary school.

19. Best song that makes use of the word mother?
Mother, Mother by Tracy Bohnam.

20. Best halloween costume for a mother-to-be?
Kane from Alien


To recap:
This was one of those days where I had motivation yet nothing was accomplished
I HATE those days
They seem sooo wasteful
I never had any real bloc of time to be able to accomplish anything
C’est la vie
It is super late and I am hungry…. Again
Wifey says it is because I have grown accustomed to eating at this time
She’s prolly right, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am hungry
Maybe some applesauce can do the trick
Listening to Super Rad by the Aquabats!
Beyond here there be dragons

3 Things

3 Things to talk about from the weekend.

Thing the first:
Earth Balance Soy Free Margarine. Thank you for mass producing an 8 major allergen free buttery spread. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Rather from the bottom of Wifey’s heart. She is rather tired of the shortening that we “made” into something “butter-ish.”

Thanks Earth Balance, Bawk! Bawk!

Thing the second:
Rice Krispie Treats are tasty. Mmmmm

Thing the third:
I have a killer headache that is getting in the way of me being nice to my loud 5.75 year old. Yep, fluffy is in da house.

To recap:
Shout out to the May 4th Memorial at Kent State
Even though this is a rather quick post, it is chock full of lemony goodness
Maybe that is the headache talking
Tylenol, Sudafed, and Mt Dew have something to say to you, Fluffy
And it is not “Make yourself comfortable.”
They aren’t polite like that
Listening to Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill
I am Old Skool like that

Digital Thursday

Okay, I know it is late, but i did not have much time to work on anything until just now. (SEE YESTERDAY'S POST)

Anyhoo... I am trying to get back in the swing of the whole digital art thing.

Here is a 90 minute painting.

and here is the reference.

To recap:
Damn it is late
Listening to Mandlebrot Set by Johnathan Coulton
Have a great weekend everyone

Sleep

Q is having some difficulties staying asleep at night. At first we thought it was because she was gassy. After administering some antigas medicine. That was not the issue. Then we thought that she might be in the midst of some teething discomfort due to the crooked smile and massive amounts of drooling. We gave her some Motrin. That was not the issue as well. Then we thought that maybe she was having a mild allergic reaction. We gave her some Benadryl. That was not the issue either.

It turns out that her body is trying to stand up in her sleep and that is waking her up. Great. How do you help a baby sleep through that?

To recap:
Q wants to stand on her own much more than she is
At least subconsciously
I WILL have some thing for Digital Thursday tomorrow
Listening to Little Man repeatedly yell "FLLLLY AWAAAAAY" while throwing a parachute toy
Kill me now

20 Questions Tuesday: 134 - Scheduling Conflicts

As I said yesterday I am re-applying myself to more of a routine. In that regard I have decided that today’s topic would be “Schedule,” because I need to get one.

Thanks this week go to a whole bunch of folk who sent on questions. Lsig, The-Person-Formally-Known-As-Lord-Pithy, Sparky, Capt McArmypants, John P, Dr Clean, Nadolny, and Riley. There were so many questions that I glommed some together where I felt it appropriate. On to the questions:

1. Is it better to have a schedule and get hopelessly behind, or not to have a schedule at all and be utterly aimless?
I think it is better to have some kind of framework. It helps to focus energy at least in a general direction. When you become a slave top the schedule is when things go bad really quickly.

2. Are the kids on strict schedules for eating and/or sleeping? So what do you make of that whole Babywise scheduling thing?
The kids are on a pretty routine schedule, but I would not say that it is a strict schedule by any means. Little Man was on a pretty strict schedule for a bit, but that did not seem to work well with 2 working parents (I guess that is not an issue right now, but I digress). As far as the whole Babywise thing, I think it helps young kids to have some kind of routine, but feeding on demand is still a necessity to teach kids not to “clean their plates” at a scheduled meal-time, but to respond to their own internal mechanisms.

3. Scheduling classes was such a big deal in college. Any success or horror stories about your schedule? What was your preferred college class schedule – more classes on fewer days so you had bigger chunks of free time or sprinkle classes over all 5 days?
I never understood what the dogmatic adherence to early morning classes was about. Most profs did not like them, and few students really wanted to be doing upper level math at 7:45 am. I tended to try and load up on 2 or three days and give myself some free-time on the remaining days.

4. Do you schedule "dates" with the lovely Wifey? Do you schedule date nights with Wifey?
I told Wifey about this questions and she said you should answer “Fuck Off!” I will defer to her.

5. Allowing for at least 8 hours in the office, what would your ideal work schedule be? If it was yours to choose and you still had to work approximately 8 hours/day, what would be your dream work schedule start and end time? Most "schedules" run on an 8am-5pm basis for work things. What would your ideal schedule layout be?
Hours 1 through 4: aimlessly looking at webcomics, getting caught up on news sites and blogs
Hours 4 through 5: lunch meeting
Hours 5 though 7: Griping with co-workers about clients and tasks from the meeting
Hours 7 through 7.5: doing work
Hours 7.5 through 8: Griping with co-workers about amount of work that needs to get done tomorrow
Hmmm… maybe there is a reason I was let go?
Workwise I was very good at a 9 to 5 schedule, with my strongest productivity in the mid-afternoon, but my ideal would be from 11 am to 7 pm.

6. If you had a magic calendar that would bring true any appointment you wrote in, what would be your first appointment? What has been your favorite calendar you’ve ever owned?
Lottery commission. 1997 is my favorite, so far.

7. Do you write appointments in ink or pencil? Assuming your answer is pencil, what color “lead”?
At best it is in pencil, if in pencil it is a mechanical pencil with HB lead.

8. Now that you don’t have to show up at an office, are you staying up later, sleeping in? Are you now a morning, night or mid-afternoon person now?
I am staying up a little later than when I was working now, but I am typically still getting up when Little Man makes me (at latest 8 am). Again, my best productivity is mid-afternoon, but my most creative time is between 10 pm and 2 am.

9. What is currently on your required TV viewing schedule?
Life, Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, Secrets of the Dead, Monsterquest, and I will watch a TimeWarp or 2 when they are on.

10. When you plan appropriately, prepare in advance and try to keep to a schedule, you feel like you are betraying a younger, more carefree you, don't you? How do you measure time for your schedule…atomic clock, watch, sundial, height of the sun?
I am definitely betraying a younger carefree version of myself, but that self had less to accomplish in more time. I measure my time in an arbitrary time construct I call chronats.

11. What is your goal routine-wise? You want the wake up, proper breakfast, exercise, clean kitchen, take break, search internet for jobs or man bites dog articles, shower, shave, make list of chores for tomorrow..... or a must do this sometime tomorrow list?
More likely a must do this sometime before tomorrow list. See? I took what you gave me and twisted it slightly.

12. I find it easier to have a plan, than a schedule. Do you know what I mean?
I sure do.

13. Say you bought a Blackberry (mainly to check the train schedules and the interweb and the electronic mail) and then one day you actually did not have a pen and paper so you write yourself a reminder on the Blackberry calendar function and it works surprisingly well. It makes a beep and reminds you what you were supposed to do. So you file that away as "Well that worked well, but I am just not a Blackberry type of guy and then about 2 months later you realize you will be on vacation on a day when you have to give some one a call and you know you will forget because you know that you will be drunk/busy/asleep and that if you do not make this call you will forever have your name etched in the Big Eldritch Tome of the Terrible Persons, so you once again you use the calendar function. It goes off without a hitch, and you are like all man "that really is kinda handy!" So you use it more and more until it serves as about 30 % of your non-work related memory. In fact, if you include the fact that I don't know anyone's phone number anymore and I don't even know where the hell I live I …I mean…. you use the GPS function, it goes up to about 60% of once memorized personal use data. Anyway, would you be more concerned about the loss of your soul all cyber-hollow-man-esque
(see T.S. Elliot) or the loss of your functional memory? Also, how cool would it be if you could have one of these installed in your head with Tetris on it?
I would say the functional memory thing would be the thing I worry about most. Tetris would definitely be cool.

14. I have a schedule my office sets for me every day. Rarely does it work out as planned and these are professionals putting the thing together. My advice, just go with the flow my friend. Agree/disagree?
Agree.

15. What things will be included in you newly regimented regime? (art, gaming, The View)
Everyday I am devoting one hour to cleaning, one hour to sketching, one hour to computer art (so I can have something for Digital Thursday again), one hour to job searching, one hour to writing, and one hour to exercise of some kind. The rest of the day will be filled as the day occurs.

16. How long before you will begin to despise the new schedule? How long before you will abandon the new schedule?
Probably a week for both answers.

17. a)Does pronouncing it make the task seem more legitimate? b)How can Brits saying come out as pompous? c)You can say almost anything with a Brit aristocrat accent and sound pompous, why is that? d) I hate schedules. And even more the British pronunciation. Is this an indication of why I am not a success?
a) Yes
b) They are pompous, damnable empire
c) See above
d) Yes, yes it is.

18. You talked about needing a little more “discipline” in your life…what is the safety word? Why isn’t the safety word always “ouch”?
Not that kind of discipline. I haven’t been a bad boy, I do not need to be spanked. I always thought the safe word should be, “Stop, no seriously, Stop.”

19. Speaking of which, isn’t it horrible that people think the French surrender at the drop of a hat. It exasperates me. I can't stand it, I give up!
I know the French are from a proud nation, err, umm of France, that has a long and illustrious history of military might and conquest. Only the Germans skirting the Maginot Line by beating the ever living shit out of the Belgians created the climate where France had to surrender without much of a fight. Had Germany gone for a full frontal assault on France, WWII would have been a much different war. We should make fun of the French for being the unimaginative boobs that they are. A fence can't keep the neighbors dog out when it only protects the front yard.

20. Is Little Man doing any sports of post school activities yet? Those things seriously mess with the schedule
Not yet.

::FIVE BONUS QUESTIONS::
21. Do you prioritize the stuff you want to do, stuff you have to do, or do you reach a happy medium in your schedule?
I try for the happy medium… I try.

22. This is a boring topic, who thought it up?
I did, Jackass.

23. What is your favorite organizational tool?
The roulette wheel. If it lands on red nine I have to do a load of laundry. itis like a crappy drinking game, where instead of drinks I have to sort socks and stuff.

24. At what time in the morning will you wake up with your new schedule?
Same time Little Man gets me up every day. Most likely around 8 am (9 am on the weekends when I change his clock in the middle of the night).

25. Do you have any job interviews scheduled at this time?
Not a one, and I have applied at approximately 20 places.


To recap:
I still need to sketch tonight
I still need to do some digital work tonight
There is always laundry to do
Not enough time in the day
Ironic thing overheard recently: I had to fire my Zen Master
There are so many different levels of irony in that one
I count at least 6
Listening to Queens of the Stone Age doing No One Knows

Re-invigoration

The job hunt process has drug on like too small an anchor through delta sludge. While I do not feel completely stationary, there is not much movement to speak of as well. Every once and a while there feels like there is movement, but it is illusory and minimal if present. This is a bad economy to be looking for a job. It is an especially bad economy when you are looking for a career change.

These have been trying times for me and my waning motivation. I am not sure what it is that I would like to do, and that makes it difficult to come up with a plan of attack. It is difficult to accomplish a non-existent goal. Not that I haven’t done that before.

The point is, I started a practice of posting 4 days a week a while ago and I let that slip due to my lack of regimen. That is about to change. Get ready, people of the Internets, I have eaten my fiber and am now ready to be posting much more regularly.

To recap:
Ironic thing I have recently heard: You see, they do it much better because they do it scientistically
Wifey had some work in San Jose recently
Little Man, Q, and I went to meet her there
Q and Little Man were both ill on the flights back home
So for the 3 folks in row 26, I am sorry for your vomiting today
Not really, you were a bunch of ungracious asshats
Now you are a bunch of ungracious vomitous asshats
Listening to Q babble
She is just this side of saying “Mama”
Guess who is over the moon about that
20QTues is tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 133 - Riley Interviewing Me (the revenge)

Sure it has been a while since I posted, but this unemployment thing is really getting in the way of having a schedule. That is something I will be attempting to take care of when I get back home from Sunny San Jose, California. There needs to be a bit of the regimen to my life, if I am ever going to get anything done.

Anyhoo… This week’s installment of 20 Questions Tuesday is the second part in the home and away series of interviews with Riley from

All Rileyed Up

.

The first installment

saw me giving her the 3rd degree with my blistering questions concerning Highlnder: The Series.

This time around Riley has given me the “old what for,” and turned the tables. It seems the hunter has become the hunted.

On to the questions!

1. Why did you start blogging?

I started as a way to get back into something that took creativity. My job at the time had just beaten me down again for wanting to attempt something that was innovative. I needed to re-awaken the creative side of me and create an outlet for that creativity

2. Did it work?

I think that it did work pretty well. It was not the creative outlet that I think I was looking for, but it did springboard me into a few online communities that have allowed me to stretch and grow creatively. So blogging has been my gateway drug to creativity.

3. What kinds of online communities? Writing ones? Graphic art ones? Something else?

Primarily artistic communities. The main one was

"The Drawing Board"

which brought me into a move appropriate for me artistic community at

"Ten Ton Studios."

The issue with The Drawing Board was that it could not handle sarcasm terribly well and Ten Ton seems to be made from it.

4. Ah, sarcasm. Also known as the lowest form

of wit. Would you agree or disagree?

pfft! Sarcasm is one of the highest forms of wit, if done correctly. The problem is all the talentless hacks out there using sarcasm like a formulaic shotgun. I blame this on the whole "not" phenomenon.

5. Who do you think is to blame for starting the "not" phenomenon?

Wayne's World

?

More specifically Mike Meyers

6. So do you dislike Mike Myers in general or just hold the "not" thing against him?

I don't think I had anything specifically against Mike Meyers until he recently started making the same movie over and over and over and over and over... If he were able to create some new humor instead of dragging out the same set of jokes and pratfalls I think I would hold considerably less against him.

7. Did you see

Love Guru

?

I think I saw

"enough"

from the previews.

8. I imagine you made the right choice by avo

iding it. I watched about the first 20 minutes before throwing in the towel. My husband thought it was funny though. But enough about Mike Myers. Are there any other SNL cast members/alum who you harbor ill will towards for impacting American pop culture in a negative way? (Personally, I'm not fond of those MacGruber commercials. And though it's not a cool thing to say right now, I've had enough of Tina Fey too.)

I have never quite understood the mass appeal of Adam Sandler

9. Personally, I'm part of the mass appeal. Adam

Sandler is funny (or at any rate, used to be). He also appears to be a generally nice guy. I think if I was famous like him, I would totally put my circle of friends in all my movies. If you were going to make a movie, which of your friends and/or celebrities would be in it?

I do not want to suggest that Adam Sandler doesn't do some funny stuff, but the overwhelming adulation for him is a bit confusing. Hmmmm... If I were in a movie who would accompany me... it would have to be an epic movie with an ensemble cast of thousands

Friends: Wifey, Capt McArmypants, Dr B Dawg, Lord Pithy,

Celebs: Andy Richter, Most of the Muppets, Jack Black, Jim Gaffigan, Bruce Campbell, Nancy Travis, Lucy Liu

(Little Man has a cute l

ittle crush on her because she was Viper in

Kung Fu Panda

)

, and throw in a swimsuit model.

10. I'm going to overlook the fact that I have not been inlcuded (don't give me that "but I said cast of thousands" argument) in favor of this question: Um, why

Nancy Travis

?

ummm... ah... Next question please

11. Wow. Now I'm fully intrigued. You should have just lied and said something like "I really loved

Three Men and a Little Lady

.

" Speaking of which, what did you ever make of that rumor that there was a ghost in

Three Men and a Baby

?

Sadly, my crush on Ms Travis started with, oddly enough,

"So I married an Ax Murderer,"

which is the funniest Mike Meyers movie because it is all new material in that one. As for the ghost in Three Men and a Baby? I have seen the stills and the frame by frame stuff and honestly I find that it is inconclusive. I have not heard what anyone thinks of that since HD and digital came to the forefront. I would love to see what shows up with better scrutiny now.

12. Best line in

"So I Married an Axe Murderer?"

Now, that was offside now, wasnnit? He'll be cryin' himself to sleep tonight on his huge pilla.

13. Excellent choice. On to other questions, did you celebrate Easter?

We had a nice meal with family and the kids each got a basket, but that was about it.

14. What would you say is the best use for leftover hard-boiled eggs?

Cobb Salad?

15. I just finished my second egg salad sandwich of the day and may have filled my egg quota for the day. So perhaps cobb salad tomorrow. Do you know why they call it Cobb salad?

I am only guessing here, but I suppose the first person to create the salad had the last name of Cobb.

It seems that Wikipedia agrees with this guess.

16. What a boring origin. I was hoping for something wild and exciting, perhaps involving a train wreck or underground elves, dare I hope both? That sounds like the kind of question I would send you for your 20 questions. Speaking of which, I don't think I've ever asked you -- how did you come up with the idea of a 20 Questions Tuesday?

It started with not being able to come up with topics for posts, so I would scour the internets looking for questionnaires and such. Most of the early ones ended up being 20 questions long. Much like the game 20 Questions. I started doing it more often and then I started asking people I knew for 5 random questions a piece. Then I came up with topics for the questions because the people complained loudly about how hard it was to come up with 5 random questions. Then I made it a regular feature and thus 20 Questions Tuesday was born.

So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

17. Are there any particular 20 Question Tuesday posts you are especially fond/proud of?

Hmmm... I honestly do not have a great gauge on what works with the 20QTues and what doesn't. I have really been enjoying the interviews. Those are fun. Either me interviewing or being interviewed. The ones about the family are fine ones as well, but if I were pressed to think of a particular one of the 132 20QTues's that I have done, am not sure I could come up with anything concrete.

18. Wow, that was a very roundabout way of saying no. I guess that's how it feels when people ask me to pick a favorite something or other. Have you ever considered interviewing a yeti hunter, and if so, what would you ask such a person?

I

have tried to stay away from any actual cryptozoologists, mainly because I do not want to seem belittle the work that is being done by the actual scientist cryptozoologists and I do not want to interact with the crackpot bat-shit crazy cryptozoologists, what would I ask?

So have you bagged a yeti... you know what I mean, *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

19. Imho, I think that would be an excellent question to ask an actual scientist. Scientists have senses of humor too, you know

(not to mention an appreciation for Monty Python references)

. On to your other enemy, The Hippo -- I was at the library today and saw they had put out stacks of poem-in-your-pocket cards

(likely to celebrate National Poetry Month)

. One of the poems was "The Hippo," and went like this:

"A Head or Tail -- which does he lack?

I think his Forward's coming back!

He lives on Carrots, Leeks and Hay;

He starts to yawn -- it takes All Day --

Some time I think I'll live that way."

--Theodore Roethke, "I am! Said the Lamb"

Any thoughts on this?

It burns

20. We are at question 20. For all my interviews, the last question is the same: anything else you'd like to say?

(if you don't like that question, the alternate option is this: who is Wifey's Nancy Travis and how do you feel you measure in comparison?)

I think the burning fire of all consuming hate that I have towards the hippo is a good note to end on.

To recap:

Schedule will equal good

The 10 lbs I lost after losing my job have found their way back

And not in a good way

I am in San Jose until Friday

So if you are in San Jose, drop me a line via the email thingy

Maybe we could sit at a café or something and my un-employed self could watch you spend money on something as discretionary as a latte

Typing this while the kids are sleeping

Therefore I am not listening to anything

It may only be 11pm on Monday evening in San Jose, but it is Tuesday in Columbus!

20 Questions Tuesday: 132 - Interview with Riley (Interviews)

For this installment of 20 Questions Tuesday I am interviewing the much sought after Riley from

All Rileyed Up

. I started reading her blog about 3 years ago and have watched it transform a few times. Her irreverence knows few bounds, and her posts and comments smell distinctly of sarcasm. Riley is one of the few denizens of the net that I would really like to get to know more. She and I have never met, yet I think our paths have crossed rather closely a few times. I have always loved her questions that she has for me, and now I am looking forward to her answers. For the topic of this interview

(I decided to make it a recursive loop the kind of which only Star Trek excells)

I have chosen

"Interviews."

On to the questions:

1. How many interviews have you given since you started blo

gging?

In my incredibly busy 3-year blogging span, I've managed to get one other blogger interested in interviewing me. And now you. I'

m tak

ing the internet by storm, I tell you.

2. Two interviews in 3 years is not bad. So far, with 1 gigantic interview under your belt, what would you say is the best part about being interviewed?

Can I say that the comments to the interview were very exciting? I hate to sound like the kind of person who just REALLY wants other people to lik

e her, but I gotta be me.

3. Who would be your ultimate interviewee/interviewer?

Are we talking anyone anywhere, time period and lan

guage barriers notwithstanding? Genghis Kahn. Preferably over a meal of turkey legs, you know those big kinds that you can buy at carnivals and festivals that look like you can use them as a weapon once you're done eating them?

4. Is that choice because of Genghis or because of the turkey legs?

Genghis, of course. I just threw in the turkey legs for his benefit. I think if he visited the twenty-first century, he would really like this food option at fairs (a close second being the deep-fried Twinkie).

5. Why hasn't fried-food-on-a-stick become more of an American cul

tural mainstay beyond at fairs and carnivals?

Fairs and carnivals usually only come to an area once or twice a year, and that's really all a human body should sustain of fried food on a stick. Could yo

u imagine the obesity problem in this country if we had the fried food on a stick option ALL the time? I shudder to think. Or jiggle, as the case may be.

6. Speaking of the obesity problem in the US, what is your favorite decadent food? Mine is, as most faithful readers know (hello to the both

of you), Vanilla Bean Cheesecake.

I'm not much of a cheesecake person. That's the one decadent treat I could alway

s easily pass in. But pinpointing my favorite decadent food is really a difficult

thing to do. You may as well ask me what is the worst outift Tori Spelling ever wore in the entire span of 90210 -- TOO MANY CHOICES. Or, since you probably didn't watch 90210, asking me who was the best bad immortal to ever fight Duncan MacLeod. I just don't know if I could choose. I could definitely choose the most irritating immortal, though: Richie. I can't stand him! Although the episode with Joan Jett hitting on him was funny. Um, where we

r

e we? Decadent treats? Maybe Girl Scout Thin Mints.

7. and you are in the thick of the Girl Scout Season as well... Ac

kI hated the villain played by the lead singer from the

Fine Young Cannibals

. Anyhoo... what is your tv distraction du jour, since Highlander the series has been off the air for years now?

Thanks to the wonders of Netflix,

Highlander the Series

lives on. In fact, it is also through the wonders of Netflix that I can watch any TV

because I stopped getting TV service in 2005. I'm a season behind, but I currently wa

tch

Smallville,

Entourage

,

Lost

, and

Flight of the Conchords.

(editors note: You can Google these your damn selves)

8. What made you decide to stop "getting TV service in 2005?" Next to Mt Dew, TV is my opiate.

It seemed like a lot of extra money to watch things I can eventuall

y rent on DVD. The only thing I miss is the occasional football game, Saturday Night Live, and the Oscars, so I invite myself to other people's houses and watch

it on their TV.

9. Back to the subject matter. When giving interviews do you try to answer as truthfully as possible and damn the personal consequences or

do you hedge a bit to protect the feelings and thoughts of others?

I try to do a little of both, depending on the question, but really, how else am I to answer the question? "As truthfully as possible" is so subjective.

My feelings on truth could best be summed up by this excerpt from Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar:

Dimitri: So, Tasso, you seem to be one of those guys who thinks there is no absolute truth, that all truth is relative.

Tasso: Right.

Dimitri: Are you sure of that?

Tasso: Absolutely.

10. So do you think I am Hot? I am pretty sure I will have a better answer to the previous question by how you answer this one.

As I understand it, the temperature in Columbus is in th

e 40s today

(Friday the 20th -the editor)

, which is my idea of freezing, so I think you're cold.

Interesting answer. 11. So sometimes in an interview, you feel that obfuscation and avoidance are necessary?

I don't know what obfuscation means. Please use smaller words.

12. Well-played, Riley, well-played indeed.

Thank you.

13. I know from my experience that I get a great deal of satisfaction answering 20 Questions Tuesday questions in the most obtuse yet technically correct manner. What gives you the most satisfaction when answering a question?

I derive a lot of satisfaction from referencing movie quotes as part of my answer. I don't appear to have done that in this interview thus far, which leaves me no choice but to say I demand satisfaction! I love that lin

e. It's from Barry Lyndon.

14. In that case...

Do you feel lucky, punk? Do ya?

I was trying to think up some cheeky answer. but much like the villains being faced down by Clint Eastwood, my mind has gone blank.

15. I am sure you would have been super intimidated if you saw

my steely gaze as well. Favorite movie quote?

Didn't my answer to the favorite decadent food question make it obvious that I am incapable of pinpointing ultimate favorite things? I cannot choose. In a

ddition to every line in The Princess Bride, I'm rather fond of the way Mr. T growls out "Prediction? Pain." and I often say "I dig that about you!" a la Cuba Gooding Jr in Jerry Maguire and "It's a sweater!" from Three Amigos. I could go on (and on and on) but for the sake of post length and keeping things swear-free, I'll limit myself to these.

I was fairly sure that you would not be able to boil it down to one favorit

e quote, which leads me to... 16. Do you have a problem with decisiveness, such that you can not reduce a universe of options to one finite answer?

Um, I don't know... let me get back to you on that once I've had some time to think about it...

17. List 5 bloggers you would like to interview.

Again with the specifics!!!! Let's see, I just asked Edj at Planet Nomad if I could interview her, and I'm stoked she said yes. I think I could also have fun with Our Little Tonginnator, Steph at Red Clay Diaries, This Eclectic Life, and Whee! All the Way Home. I believe you can find them all on my sidebar.

(editors note: So visit her blog, already!)

18. What subjects (without going into the whys and hows and whos and such) are strictly off-limits in an interview... maybe this should have been my first question?

You could always lie and put this question first and pretend like you asked me that as question number one. I won't tell. As for the answer, n

o subject is always off limits (see my answer on absolutes), although I don't like having to defend my dislike of yogurt. Or Highlander.

19. Your love of Highlander, or dislike of Highlander? as a follow up: Duncan or Connor?

Sorry, I should have said "Or my love of Highlander." Duncan all the w

ay. Not to say that I don't like Connor, and was sad to see him die, but Duncan was by far more entertaining and ridiculous.

20. Will you be posting this on your blog as well and is there anything emblazoned in your memory from this interview?

I will be a posting a link to this on my blog so that people have to visit yours to read it, and hopefully enjoy other posts by you as well, such as your threats to the

yeti

and

hippo

. Emblazoned in my memory are the following things: 1) I like Highlander 2) Obfuscate and 3) I'm indecisive.

Thanks!

To Recap:

Thanks so much, Riley!

I have much to do tonight since I have been fighting off a nasty headache all day

Hello, Fluffy. Been a while, hasn’t it?

Listening to Joss Stone sing

Some Kind of Wonderful

Reading the

The Shepard Kings

by Judith Tarr

3 Levels

Well, this weekend was a sobering trip. The fam went up to Northeast Ohio and visited my lone remaining grandparent while she was in hospice. That’s right, hospice. She most likely only has a few more days. There is a sadness of three levels that I am going to mention here on the blog.

Sadness level 1:
It is my grandma, and I am sad for her passing. It is difficult to see someone you care for, however much or however little pass on. It is more difficult to see someone you care for more have to deal with this process when they are unwilling/incapable to deal with it. This has been a struggle for my mom. She is not having a graceful time of this and I wish that things were easier on her through this process of losing her mom.

Sadness level 2:
It is hard to see someone less vibrant. No matter who it is, less vibrance is a sad thing to see.

Sadness level 3:
I recognize that there is a problem with my familial relations that it is incumbent upon me to rectify. Some background. My nuclear family is not a close family, therefore my extended family should more likely be referred to as my very-loosely-knit-through-some-kind-of-DNA association. With grandma’s passing the binds that draw these disparate groups of similar DNA together will dissolve nearly completely. That which society considers my extended family will cease to interact.

My mom will most likely not talk much to her bothers anymore. Aside from the odd occasional Christmas Card, I imagine there will not be any significant contact between cousins at all. The cousins will drift away from each other and that which is the extended family will cease to be. All that will be left is the not closeness of my nuclear family.

I need to make my nuclear family closer, and I am the only one who can do that.

On to something more enjoyable about the weekend trip.

When no one else was watching and I was holding my dying grandma’s hand, she looked at me and asked through her labored breathing an occasional aching moans in a voice barely above a wisper…

“Have you found a new job yet?”

Thanks a bunch grandma. I will miss you.

To recap:
There is nothing to recap
20 Questions Tuesday tomorrow is an interview with Riley from the soon to be insanely popular All Rileyed Up

20 Questions Tuesday: 131 - Food (Irish Food)

Eventhough today is St Patrick’s Day and should be revered above most other holidays, I decided to eschew tradition concerning the theme of my 20 Questions Tuesday and have the questions not be about the holiday at hand. Yet, in the spirit of the holiday I shall answer the questions as they pertain to the holiday (as best as possible).

Thanks this week go to IC Yellow, Sparky, Capt McArmypants, John P, All Rileyed Up, and Nadolny. On to the questions:


1. Most interesting food you've ever eaten, where you've eaten it, and what they hell were you thinking at the time?
Most Irish food that I know of is not so much “interesting” as it is hearty. “Meat and root vegetables” pretty much sums up the basic fare of Irish foods. Not terribly “interesting.” The most “interesting” Irish food I have ever had is boxty, but that is just a potato pancake, so “interesting” is all relative.

2. What's the most disgusting food on the face of the planet?
I am not sure what the most “disgusting IRISH food” is, but I bet it has something to do with mutton and root vegetables.

3. What would be the point of beets?
The very bottom of them.

4. Why on earth would anyone ever want to actually eat liver?!?!?
I have no idea... maybe that is where the power is stored

5. What famous female celeb chef could eat crackers in your bed? (wink, wink) What crackers would you like her to eat?
I have had some trouble finding and Irish female chef that is also a celebrity to have an answer this question. As to the eating crackers in my bed, I think if that is your fantasy, you might just be “doing it wrong.” Celeb chef, hot or not, has to work in the kitchen. Period.

As to what crackers an Irish celeb chef would eat in bed? They would be:

IRISH CRACKERS
2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 stick butter
1/2 c. whole milk
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Grease cookie sheet. Flour and salt, sift together. Heat butter and milk together until butter is melted. Pour this mixture into the flour and salt and mix quickly to make a smooth dough.
While dough is still warm from hot milk and butter, roll it out on a floured board to no more than 1/4 inch thick. Cut into 3 inch squares. Put on greased baking sheets. Prick with a fork so that you have 2 rows of little holes. Bake for 10 minutes. Makes about 1 dozen.

6. Do you watch Top Chef on Bravo?
Nope

7. Is there a Food Network show that you and Wifey enjoy?
Since Wifey is staying away from Dairy, Egg and Soy because of Q’s emergent allergies, it is best not to have food programs on TV, at the moment.

8. What is your favorite insta-snack and why? Follow-up: As a result of this being your favorite, do you make sure it is always in stock at Casa-SRH or do you make sure you do not keep it in the house?
I like baked goods, specifically butter crumb topped coffee cakes. Zap that in the microwave and off to blissful food heaven for a few seconds. I do not keep that in the house or I would be big as a house.

9. How has your life-meal-plan changed with the addition of two food allergy cursed chillins and do you hope to go back to eating certain things when they get older or are you satisfied with sticking with what is available to all for convenience?
Well, we have found a petty good amount of recipes of food that we like that are non-allergic for our kids. Little Man has grown out of all his allergies except tree nuts and peanuts, so that has opened a bunch of food avenues for us. Q is showing some reaction to dairy, egg, and soy. That being said, her reactions have tended to be less virulent than Little Man’s, so we hope that soy and dairy will disappear relatively quickly.

10. What makes the Vanilla Bean Cheesecake soooo magical? Is it the density or that goes with everything or the raw nigh obscene flood of sugar and fat combined?
I can only think that Vanilla Bean Cheesecake is so good because of some kind of culinary magic.

11. Were you forced to eat food that you did not like as a kid? and Why? Personally, I never quite understood that "hazing" ritual. I mean sure "waste not want not" and all that, but if I don't like brussel sprouts and you have been informed that I don't like brussel sprouts from past dining experience: 1. Why did you go and make brussel sprouts for me again? 2. How you going to act like this is my fault!? Personally, I never really experienced this as a kid, but this always seemed so absurd. Don't get me wrong kids got to eat, but isn't this is pretty much the same thing as when some big bully makes a little kid eat a bug?
Oftentimes the foods that kids don’t want to eat are the foods that are nutritive in their make-up. As a parent, one should strive to find nutritive foods that the kids enjoy. However, this is not always possible and sometimes it is necessary to make kids eat foods they do not want to in order to get them to vary their palette as well as get a well-rounded nutritive diet. Sometimes it is necessary for the kid to “suck it up, buttercup.”

12. Why aren't we all just eating in pill form as was so popular in late 50's sci-fi predictions?
You can’t put Shepard’s pie in a pill.

13. Agree or disagree: If you are eating nutritionally poor food you had better eat alot of it to get the nutrients you need. Calories be damned.
Agree.

14. Beer is a very good source of B complex vitamins does this make it an appropriate substitute for my enriched bread and grains?
Now this is an Irish question. I think if you head to the stout beers, you get more of a meal.

15. If you were starving, and had to choose between eating dog food or cat food, which would you go with (choose any brand if you care to be specific)?
I would go with Dog food, because some of the canned stuff has pieces parts that almost seem identifiable… then again, I could just treat cat food as pâté… Nope dog food, at least when you add water you get gravy.

16. Do you splurge for the hormone free/cage free/grass fed chicken and meat options, or buy whatever's cheapest?
If the free range/organic/grass fed/spa raised meats are not SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than the hormonized/caged/corn-bloated meats, then yes, we prefer the “more healthy” varieties.

17. What's with the green eggs and ham story? Why with a fox or in a box? What kinds of options are those? Ever heard of Tabasco?
Green eggs and ham was a challenge thrown down to Ted Geisel concerning a certain number of words and a certain number of pages. Other than “try new foods,” I am not sure if it has any other higher meaning. His choices of withs and wheres were more about community building instead of flavoring…

18. So on Survivor, there is this one part where they send some people who are indigenous to wherever the folks are from who show them a dozen things to eat right where they are camped and have been starving for 3 weeks. Why in the world would you go on survivor and not practice fire-making beforehand and food gathering skills?
It has got to chap those poor natives hides that these foreign bastards are coming to their village to win more money than they would earn collectively in their lifetime. It is an amazing primitive wasteland for “Survivor” and Americans, but it is their home. That shit galls me.

19. In an apocalyptic Columbus 100 years from now, what landmarks will still exist that the food gatherers will use to guide them about on the hunt.
There would be the Mighty Olentangy River to deal with as well as the Scioto River. Those would be present for a while longer, especially as the small dams and other impoundment areas deteriorated. I think the remnants of the Shoe will still be there, as well as some pieces parts of the downtown area. They will all be in a terrific state of ruin, and not fit for human habitation, but they will be there. Most of the road beds and railroad lines will still be on embankment and serviceable as hiking trails, but the housing and retail araes will be “back to nature,” so to speak.

20. Same apocalyptic scene, what can the gatherers forage and hunt?
Well, the Dublin area would easily revert to corn… al those dormant seeds. And C-bus has always been a cow town, maybe they could hunt the feral cow.


To recap:
Happy St Patrick’s Day everyone
Job hunt is still hunty
One of the issues I am having with this job hunt is that I know the job I can most likely get is not necessarily what I want to do
Hard to get enthused about that
The idea of a job that I want is formulating
It is a swirling miasma of thought that is orbiting a singularity of doubt
I have to either coalesce the idea into something substantive before it gets to the doubt filled event horizon
Or ride the idea through the doubt to the other side of the black hole of doubt and fear
Not sure which it is going to be just yet
Listening to Cannonball by the Breeders

Ailment

Both Little Man and Q are sick today. More to the point they were both sick last night and this morning.

The really crappy part was that Little Man was still sick this morning and today at preschool was going to be the day that he could bring things in for his alphabet show and tell circle that started with the letter "T."

T as in TRAIN.

There was much weeping this morning. T Day is is favorite show and tell day because he can show them his trains.

To recap:
There are both doing better today, but still on the mend
Little Man has rebounded a bit more than Q, but I think his fever is hovering just out of site... waiting to pounce
Hopefully they will both be better tomorrow
Now I have to figure out something for dinner
No new job prospects as of yet
Still betwixt and between books
Listening to Wifey and the kids playing upstairs

20 Questions Tuesday: 130 - Traveling

Well, last week Wifey, Q and I went to Sundance, Utah for 4.5 days-ish. Sure we were really only able to see where we were for three days, but technically “boots were on the ground” for 5 days, but I do not live in a world of technicalities. Unfortunately, leading up to this trip to Sundance required more effort than previously thought and I was not able to get this 20 Questions Tuesday to you last week. C’est la vie.

Thanks this (and last) week go to Dr Clean, ACW, Atmikha, John P, All Rileyed Up, and Capt McArmypants.

On to the questions:
1. Is there an airline out there that still has customer service?
I have not really had too much problem with airline customer service as of late. My issue is not with the people on the ground dealing with individuals… uh… individually, but with the policy makers with whom customers never get to interface.

2. What is the most embarrassing thing you have forgotten to pack?
Toothbrush and toothpaste

3. What is the packing philosophy of both you and Wifey...just enough, enough for a round the world cruise, or does this still smell ok?
We are somewhere in between the 2. We tend to take just a bit more than we need for the “just in case” situations, but sometimes the utility stuff gets a bit gamey.

4. So Little Man is all "crazy train", what does he think of airplanes?
He likes then pretty well, but not as much as the diesel electric locomotives

5. Do you have passports? Little Man? Q?
Wifey and I have current and up-to-date passports, but the kids do not… yet. There is a tentatively planned trip to Cananada this summer that may require them to have passports, so that may be remedied soon.

6. When was the last time you traveled for purely recreational purposes?
It has been a few years, I think.

7. Harder with 2 kids or does Little Man pull his own weight (get it? - pull his own luggage - I slay me - or not...)?
Little Man does his share, but that does not mean that traveling with 2 is easier since he does some work.

8. Any favorite traveling games?
None that I can think of.

9. What do you enjoy most about air travel?
Since I am a cartographer by trade, looking out the window is massively important and fun.

10. Is there anything special you will try to do or see while Wifey is at work?
Just hiking in the mountains was enough.

11. Is there a regional culinary specialty you are looking forward to sampling while visiting Utah? -- I remember that some kind of fruit pie was heavily featured on almost every menu when I was last there.
There is no regional culinary specialty that I am aware of concerning the state of Utah.

12. Do you travel well or are you somewhat distressed by the whole endeavor?
I am a solid middle for those choices. I am typically distressed until the travel actually starts, then I mellow a bit until shit hits the fan.

13. Blues Traveler or the Traveling Wilburys?
I am more of a Blues Traveler.

14. Is the NBA lax in calling traveling penalties? I don't watch the game but wanted your opinion.
The NBA is lax about calling most penalties, but traveling is hardly ever called. I think when it is the looks on the infracting players’ faces are priceless.

15. What is/do you imagine to be the most fun about flying first class
The roominess and reclinability of the seats.

16. Ever been to Utah before
Nope.

17. Why don't missionaries try to spread the word on airplanes - seems they have a captive audience who can't go anywhere
I think most missionaries are very aware of the precipitous drop if they are asked to leave.

18. If you could have any job associated with airplanes and airports, what job would that be?
I think pilot

19. Will Bullet trains ever go anywhere in this country? (Yeh, I almost counted it as 2 questions.)
They go from Washington DC to Boston, MA multiple times a day.

20. After a 3 - 4 day trip, do you need a day after you get back of down time to get back into the swing of things? And how do you feel this ranks on the HOW DID I GET SO OLD!!! scale. Like worse than leaving the TV on the weather channel all day or better than start 6 of 10 sentences with back in my day?
I would appreciate a day, but at the moment it is not completely necessary… Don’t get me wrong, a day of downtime is extremely helpful, just not absolutely necessary. I think if “back, kids actually listen to this shit?” is a 1, and “where’s my shawl” is a 5, and “if that ball comes over here once more I’m gonna keep it” is a 10: a day of recoup is probably a 3.

And one to grow on:

21. What % of the "improvements" to air line security actually make you safer compared providing nominal to placebo effect?
I think about the only thing that makes me feel safer is the increased security presence and the relative fitness and vigor of the TSA workers compared to the screeners of, say, 1988. The shoes, the liquids, the sharp objects… all crap with no effect on safety whatsoever.


To recap:
Both kids are down right now with fever
Wifey’s mom is down as well
It is just me and Wifey and me clinging on to our health like wounded tigers…
Wait a second, that doesn’t sound right
Still on the fence about reading “The Battle for God” or reading “Presence”
I re-read about 15 pages of “Battle for God” last night
Tonight I am going to try for some pages of “Presence”
Capt McArmypants thinks I should go with “Presence” because “Battle for God” would be too depressing
Any other opinions out there?
Listening to King of Pain by Alanis Morissette from her MTV Unplugged special

3 Things:

Three things to get on to since I haven’t posted in a while…

Thing the First:
So, last week I was in the majestic mountains of Utah for Wifey’s work. She had some kind of board meeting to go to and I was Q’s childcare for the duration. Ah, bonding with your kid in the mountains of Utah… beautiful. The board meeting was taking place in the organization’s founder’s house in Sundance (the very same Sundance that is know for Bobby Redford and his film festival). So for 4 days we lived in a cabin in Sundance, Utah. It is nice to see how the other half live sometimes.

The time in Utah was great. I got to hang out with one of the few people from high school with whom I actively wanted to get back in contact, and to my knowledge, I am the only person from high school not related to him to see him in his new environment.

We forgot the camera, so no pictures of majestic snow-covered peaks or immaculate “cabins” with panoramic mountain views. Oh, well… I will always have the memories.

Thing the Second:
The trip back was a bear. We got into Chicago O’Hare at 12 for our 12:55 connecting flight to Columbus when everything went to hell. The 12:55 flight to Columbus was cancelled, the 2:40 flight was cancelled as well, the 4:00 flight did not leave until 6:45 and it left with Wifey and Q while I waited on standby. The 7:00 did not board until 7:30 and even on standby I was able to make that one. It did not leave the gate until 7:55 because they could not find a passenger. It was a loooong time to be in an airport with a 9 month old.

Thing the Third:
It is good to be home. We missed Little Man something fierce. He is such a wonderful little boy. It seems like he matured at least 15 years worth while we were gone. I am not sure that we can do a trip like that again without making sure that he is a part of it. I know that he is going to the work that Wifey has slated in March and in April.

To recap:
Q is sick today
She has a pretty nasty fever and is just a bit on the unhappy side
I would be a bit on the unhappy side as well if I were sick
I might actually be getting some freelance fantasy mapping work
That would be awesome
I almost feel like I could give freelancing a go
I am not sure that both Wifey and I being self-employed is the most strategic thing to do for the fam
Reading… I am torn right now between The Battle for God by Karen Armstrong and Presence by Senge, Scharmer, Jaworski, and Flowers
Any thoughts on which of the two to tackle?
Listening to S.O.S by Earl Greyhound

Drink

The call of Mt Dew is too strong. It is like the siren's call, and no amount of cotton in your ears will help.

20 Questions Tuesday: 129 - Chores

Well, I am still riding the unemployment train and starting to realize that I need to take more action to fill my day. That means that I need to step up the items on my “To Do:” list and come up with weekly chores around the house to at least make my living environment better. Therefore, today’s topic is “Chores.”

Thanks this week go to ACW, Sparky, Lsig, Dr B-Dawg, Belsum, John P, Atmikha, and Wifey. I have collected the similar questions into single repetitive questions.

On to the Questions:
1. Does Little Man have any chores? Any regularly scheduled ones? Is Little Man onto the fact that chores aren't fun and requires an allowance for his perfomance of the chores? List of Little Man Chores:...
Little Man does have some things that could be defined as chores. They involve cleaning up after himself, mostly. So far we are using an achievement based system that rewards him with Go! Diego! Go! Wii games and root beer. He has to keep his train table clean and the trains and track off the floor in the living room and dining room. He needs to regularly “clean” his room (pick up the train tracks in there as well) .

2. Is the house cleaner now, than a year ago? Is the house as clean as you want it? Is the house more clean, laundry caught up and woodpile stocked with freshly chopped wood these days?
We have an almost nine month old in the house right now, so the house is in an absolute shambles. This place is no where near as clean as Wifey or I would like it to be, and the amounts of laundry that needs to be done is a bit staggering much like the amount of clothes that need to be put away.

3. Whole house cleaning or just a room at any one time?
I am a room by room cleaner. Especially since the whole house is such a sty at the moment. The most we can get clean is one or two rooms at a time.

4. Do you employ Little Man to get into those hard-to-reach places?
No, but that is a great idea, and he seems to want to be more and more helpful…

5. What's your forte - dusting, vacuuming, dishes?
I am good at most things, but I really got pretty good at washing dishes in the apartment years of our marriage.

6a. I despise scrubbing the kitchen floor. What chore do you despise? Are there some chores that you can't stand, so you make sure to demonstrate occasionally how unequipped you are to perform it? What Chore do you absolutely hate more than the mighty Hippo? When faced with cleaning bathrooms, I will suddenly see an urgent need to go to the garage, mix up the degreaser and take care of those unsightly oil spots. The bathroom usually has to wait until a certain crescendo of shame and repulsion has peaked. Unless I have to write a big paper, or pay bills. Are there any chores you really can't bring yourself to do?
I hate most chores because of their near endless nature. I get all the dishes put away and then need to eat again. Now I have dirty dishes that need to be taken care of. Unless I naked myself up, and make the fam go nudist for a day, all the clothes in the house are never clean, etc… I hate Chores.

6b. Do you have any chores that you actually like? What Chore do you really not mind at all? When entering chore mode, I make a list, consider it, then invariably do the laundry. Are there any chores you enjoy, or at least don't mind doing on a daily basis?
There are no chores that I actually “like.” It would become an “activity” if I liked it. I don’t mind sweeping, but Wifey does mind when I sweep because I am too slow and too thorough.

7. Cinderella sings a happy tune while doing her endless chores. You?
I curse in as many languages as I can in my head.

8. Did you get an allowance for doing chores as a child? Will Little Man or Q and if yes, at what age will you start? How soon before you put the kids to work on some of your most hated chores? List of Chores you can't wait until Little Man is able to do instead of you:...
I did get an allowance pittance. Anyone who knows my parents know that they were not quite free with their spending. I think when Little Man and Q get to Kindergarten it might be time to introduce them to the concept of the “Chore.” When Little Man can mow I will be a happy man. Sadly he is still quite young for that kind of task.

9. Is writing the blog a chore? Is writing this blog a chore?
Sometimes, yes… sometimes, no.

10. What chores did you have assigned to you as a kid?
I had to mow the yard as well as take out the trash. Vacuuming was occasionally required as well.

11. How do you divide up the chores in your house now? Did you and Wifey have to actively split up duties or did the division come pretty naturally? Who has bug/big hairy spider killing duty? What’s the one thing that you let get to you that doesn’t bother Wifey and vice versa?
So far we have not really sat down and had a “chore summit” for a while. It is definitely time to re-distribute the tasks necessary to keeping a family in a house.

12. Would a chore by any other name be the same? Like, if you called it a game, would that make washing dishes any more fun?
Games have rewards for accomplishments, especially computer games. So unless I can “level up” and do dishes faster or kill orcs whilst washing dishes, no, calling them a game would just be lying.

13. Do you have a weekly/daily schedule of chores, or do you call them as you see them? Are you a list maker or do you just do what obviously needs to be done?
I abhor the concept of lists, yet I think it might be time for me to grow up and use one or two.

14. What is the relationship between time consumption of the chore and the involvement of tools?
I have found that the chores that demand the least tools or the simplest tools are the worst ones. Cleanser and sponge comes to mind.

15. “Chore” rhymes with “bore,” is that intentional? Please explain the origin of the word Chore.
I think the rhyming is more serendipitous than intentional. And etymology is a chore to me, so find out its origin your damn self.

16. Are there any household duties that you really don’t mind doing but become chores when expected regularly? For me that would be cooking dinner. I like to cook but coming up with a quick and easy supper plan every night gets old.
Little Man’s bath comes to mind as well as cooking. If we have an idea of what we are going to eat that week, cooking isn’t so bad, but it is difficult to continually “whip something up,” so to speak.

17. Martha Stewart made a fortune of celebrating the "Art of Living," in other words, the elevation of tedious household cleaning and maintenance tasks to exercises in artisanal excellence. Would you consider her a saint or a nut job?
She is whacked in the head, a complete nutter.

18. Why is it that as a kid, mopping the floors and mowing the lawns seemed like way more fun than taking a nap?
It turns out that kids are not that bright.

19. What is the opposite of chores?
A nap.

20. What motivates you to do chores?
An abject fear of Wifey.

And an extra five from Wifey, cause she deserves it.

1. I know someone is going to ask you you're least favorite chore...and I'm not sure what your answer will be, but I'm sure you won't mention your seeming inability to throw something in the trash once it's used up. So...why is that your least favorite chore? Even if you walk past the trash on your way to doing something else, you won't throw things away. Why?
Next questions please!

2. Which chore is more enjoyable: bathtime with Q or bathtime with Little Man?
Q enjoys the baths so much, hers is pretty fun, but there is also a splash zone that you might find at a Sea World or Gallagher show

3. Do you think the way we split chores at our house is fair and equitable?
No, it needs to be renegotiated since I am not working 40 hours a week in a Hell Hole.

4. Seriously?
Yeah.

5. What's the most chore-y thing you do that you enjoy?
I like folding clothes to some degree… I’ll fold them if you want to put them away…


To recap:
The-Man-Who-Was-Once-Named-Lord-Pithy sent in some questions but only after I had already written the bulk of this post
So here are 5 more questions:

1. Would growing your nails to an unreasonable length be considered a chore?
Cleaning under your unduly long finger nails would be the chore.

2. Cleaning the bathrooms or polishing the silver?
Why kind of money do you think we have? There is only one option in that question that is applicable. I wish we had silver to polish.

3. Are you one of those insane people who would clean the house before Molly Maid arrived?
I am one of the, “God I wish we could just hire Molly Maid to do this shit.”

4. Whistle while you work, spoon full of sugar, or some other Disney song to make the work go faster?
Nope, no songs make chores go any faster, and no cartoon dwarf work gang can tell me different.

5. How high can the laundry pile before you can no longer ignore it and finally do a load?
There are 4 of us in the house, it takes no time for Laundry to pile up to un-imaginable heights, but honestly the height of the pile is not the determining factor, it is the amount of clean underwear.

Job hunting sucks
I think both the kids may be out to get me
At least they are both doing what they can to keep me from sleeping well
Darn Kids!
Reading A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink
Listening to Wallflowers by MC Frontalot

Only 15 minutes

I have 15 minutes to craft the most perfect post ever and I am fairly sure that I will fall well short of that goal, but if one doesn’t set goals, on doesn’t get anywhere. And, trust me one wants to be somewhere instead of nowhere. Nowhere has nothing and no one. And no one wants to be no where basically because that is the only place that no one can truly be, once someone is nowhere, it is no longer nowhere. Funny how that is. The odd thing is that everything at least has nothing which makes you think that it is actually something to “have.” Yet… you would be wrong. Woefully and erringly wrong.

“Erringly wrong is a bit of a redundancy, don’t you think?” Tom asked interrogatively.

“This cannot be happening to me. This cannot be happening to me. This cannot be happening to me. This cannot be happening to me.” Tom repeated again and again.

Anyhoo… The fifteen minutes is almost up…. DAMN YOU SPELLING MISTAKES!

To recap:
Life here is still going on
Job search is still ongoing
I have sooo much to do
And an almost bonecrushing amount of time on my hands
Almost too much time to wrap one’s mind around
Definitely too much to prioritize tasks and get them accomplished
Stupid over abundance of time
Listening to Head for the Hills by Saves the Day

20 Questions Tuesday: 128 - Teeth

Here it is Tuesday again and I didn’t post on this past Thursday or Monday. I am slipping in this un-employmenty thingy.

Anywho… the topic today is “Teeth” and this comes to us by way of Little Man having some more loose teeth and Q adding some more. Anyway, thanks this week go to John P, All Rileyed Up, and Capt McArmypants, and Nadolny.
On to the questions:


1. What is with the saying "by the skin of your teeth"?
I believe it refers to the thin layer of skin that just barely covers a crowning new tooth. It is very sensitive and very thin.

2. Have you ever been in an accident which dislodged one or more of your teeth?
When I was a little kid I knocked out my two front teef, but my mom shoved them back in my skull, and I am once again whole.

3. Do you go for the tribal practice of filing one's teeth into pointed shapes as a coming of age ritual? I saw one on Nova once, I think.
I do not go for that practice. It is a creepy look when someone goes for that practice, creepy indeed.

4. Will the tooth fairy adjust for inflation in this day and age? To me a dime per tooth is a damn good deal.
You, sir are not aquainted with today’s prices.

5. Who has the freakiest looking teeth you have ever seen? Either gross British style or Osmond chiclet white.
Going to go with either the “Big Book of British Smiles” or Appalachian Gaps.

6. I hate that all the elaborate battery-operated kids' toothbrushes don't have the option to replace the heads once the bristles are worn down. Why are toothbrush companies so wasteful?
Planned obsolescence

7. What is your worst personal tooth experience?
Wisdom teeth being removed.

8. Have you ever forcibly removed a loose tooth and how?
Just manual brute force, no doors and string for me.

9. Do you floss Little Man's teeth with a flosser or regular dental floss?
You could have stopped that question with the word “teeth.”

10. How much money did you receive from the tooth fairy and how much do you plan to pay Little Man?
I got a quarter. My parents were rolling in it, yo! We give Little Man $1.

11. How important is teeth to gum ratio to you?
It is a very important ratio. Wifey is much more opinionated about this particular golden mean though.

12. Large buck teeth, God's private joke? or character building?
That ain’t a private joke between you and God.

13. Jewell's grill. Jacked up or kinda refreshing since it is so not Hollywood?
Just jacked up. I used to think it was all refreshing until she started sex kittening herself up… with jacked up teeth. Hey, Snaggletooth, put some damn clothes on or fix the fangs.

14. Think your chillen's gonna need braces?
Oh yeah.

15. Tooth fairy? Have you ever noticed that all our childhood myths we are encouraged to believe in come down to creepy strangers reverse stealing from you? What up with that? Maybe as a nation we should come up with new myths for our children not based on vaguely disturbing home invasion?
You have a point here, one that might need to be discussed at length further.

16. Is this the first he has lost?
Nope, this will be number 3

17. Do you know the proper order the teeth are supposed to come out? (my wife does, anal daughter of a dentist she is)
The same as they came in, if I remember correctly. He is on upper left front right now.

18. What is the medical term for the tooth he lost?
Egg tooth? It goes with his 2-chambered heart.

19. Do you do the tooth fairy thing? I know it is harmless, but the lying to a kid thing gets some parents wigged out. Personally, we lie through our teeth (pun intended).
We are all about the lying to the kids thing. We thought about making up a shit ton of fairies to make him do stuff. The “Plate Cleaning Fairy” will not be pleased and erase all your mp3’s if you don’t finish eating.

20. How much is the going rate for a tooth fairy? What was it when you were a kid? What is the inflation rate of teeth if a train is going 100mph north and...?
We give the little guy $1, but he forgets about it and I buy myself a soda.


To recap:
This unemployment thing is making my internal calendar all wonky
Got a bit of a chest cold at the moment
Stupid congestion
Listening to “Don’t You Evah” by Spoon